رحلة البحث عن الكس

الحلقة الثانية يعني الحلقة الاولى تسمعت وانت تديلي سبب

The second episode means I heard the first episode and you're giving me a reason.

مقنع سبب واحد مقنع يخليني اكمل في اللي بيحصل ده فنين

One convincing reason that makes me continue with what's happening is art.

زوبري والله رازيب اول حلقة فهمت بعد كل نهاية اللحظة اتجابت تقريبا

Zubari, I swear I understood the first episode after every moment's end; it was almost brought back.

خمسة منهم كان اخويا انا عارف انا عارف ان الكم اسبوع الاخرين في

Five of them were my brothers. I know, I know that the other weeks are in...

السنة دول هم من الاسابيع البضان على حياة المواطن المصري في خلال

The year is full of weeks that are burdensome to the life of the Egyptian citizen during.

رحلته ان هو يلاقي فيديوهات تدحكوا على الفيس او يلاقي بسطات

His trip is to find funny videos on Facebook or to find street vendors.

عيدلة فدائما هيطلق عليك الشرموت بتاع ما ينفعش نحتفل بعيد

Ajdila, they will always call you a shameless person because we can't celebrate a holiday.

عيد مع النصارى والجودة بشه بس عشان بس قبل من قولك كلمتين تمام

A holiday with the Christians, and the quality is just fine, but only because I'm about to say a couple of words, okay?

ده كلام ناس بتتناك تمام واحنا قلنا قبل كده ان احنا ما عندناش

This is the talk of people who are in a bad situation, and we've said before that we don't have.

مشكلة مع الناس اللي بتتناك تمام احنا ما عندناش مشكلة مع الناس

The problem is with the people who are getting messed up, okay, we don't have a problem with the people.

اللي بتتناك وما عندناش مشكلة مع الناس اللي بتتنيك احنا عندنا

The one who is being fucked, and we have no problem with the people who are being fucked, we have...

مشكلة شخصية مع الناس اللي بتتناك علينا تمام فخلينا نقف دي

A personal problem with the people who are talking behind our backs, so let's stop this.

احداد على على بضاني

Sorrow for my sons.

بجد وعلى

Seriously and truly.

كنت كمان اللي راحت في معركة الكريسماس اللي هتستمر لمدة

I was also the one who went to the Christmas battle that will last for...

اربعة ايام كمان وبعدين هتموت تمام فدات بيين سيد انا النهاردة

Four more days and then you will die perfectly. I sacrificed myself for you, dear. Today I am...

عايز اتكلم عن الكس

I want to talk about the vagina.

اه ان انا هطلع اتكلم عن حاجة عميقة زبري زبري يا باشا احنا

Oh, I'm going to talk about something deep. Calm down, my friend, we are...

احنا احنا ان الكس المصري

We are the Egyptian anal.

واسمعني يا بس والله العظيم هتكلم بجد ان الكس المصري من اكتر

And listen to me, I swear by God, I will speak seriously that the Egyptian...

الاجساس في اه في العالم وانا لما بكلم بقول كلمة انا بتتقال على

The sensation is in my heart in the world, and when I speak, I say a word that is spoken about me.

اي حاجة يعني على شيء او شخص المفروض ان هو بيسيرف وظيفة معينة

Anything means that something or someone is supposed to serve a certain function.

زيه زي ناس كتيرة جدا في مجاله ولكن السبب من ما لا يقلق

He's like many people in his field, but the reason is nothing to worry about.

بعلمه احد هو بيجت موركينشن جس بيكوز هي ايز وتايهي از فازيه

Because he is and he is amazing.

بقى هما بيتصورهم بيتوقع منك ان انت بتريت ويمن ويت اه ويدي

They expect you to take good care of them and provide for them.

سبكت ان ديجنيتي ان ان ان كل الحاجات الجميلة دي وان يوهو

"My dignity is mixed with all these beautiful things and you know."

ناوكلو الناس دي بتفكر ازاي هتلاقي ان الولادي المصريين او الاغت

If you observe how these people think, you will find that the Egyptian youth or the others...

والذكور المصريين هما اكتر ناس ممكن يكون عندهم مامي ايشيوز والعكس صحيح البنات عندهم دادي ايشيوز

Egyptian males are the ones who might have mommy issues the most, and vice versa, girls have daddy issues.

لان احنا كولاد احنا بنكون مقربين اكتر لامهاتنا والبنات بيكون مقربين اكتر لابهاتهم

Because as boys, we tend to be closer to our mothers, and girls are closer to their fathers.

وانا بنسبالي كولد بجرو اب دا الانتراكشن الوحيد اللي انت بتاخده مع بنت اول

For me, as a kid, this interaction is the only one you have with a girl at first.

لما بقولي الوحيد مش قصدي الوحيد قصدي الانتراكشن المور فريكوينت ان انت تتكلم معاه

When I say "the only one," I don't mean the only one; I mean the more frequent interaction where you talk to him.

هو الانتراكشن مع ممتك والعكس صحيح بالنسبة للبنات فانت اما بتبتدي تدور على بنت فانت اميديتلي بتحاول تدور على امك

It's the interaction with your mother, and the reverse is true for girls; when you start looking for a girl, you are immediately trying to find your mother.

as fucked up as it sounds بس انت حرفيا بتحاول تدور على امك وهي بتدور على بابوها

As fucked up as it sounds, you are literally trying to find your mother while she is looking for her father.

فده بيرزولت in a fucked up society حلو

"It's a result in a fucked up society, nice."

a society where we do not know anything about the other sex or the other gender

A society where we know nothing about the other sex or the other gender.

مجتمع دا وقت مجتمع من اكتر المجتمعات الهوموفوبك في العالم مجتمع دا وقت مجتمع من اكتر المجتمعات الهوموفوبك في العالم

This society is one of the most homophobic societies in the world.

ومع ذلك لما بتنزل الشارع بتلاقي الشباب شي شباب مانجيجا بعض وماشية بتلاقي بيبوسوا بعض وميسلموا على بعض بتلاقيهم بيباتوا عند بعض على نفس السرير

However, when you go out on the street, you find the youth—some young men hugging each other, and you see them kissing and greeting each other. You find them spending the night together in the same bed.

هتلاقي فيه فيه فيه حاجة غريبة حاجة off بتحصل

You'll find something strange happening, something off.

there's some gay shit that straight men in Egypt do

There are some gay behaviors that straight men in Egypt engage in.

وده ليه لان

This is because...

لان رجالة او مش رجالة البشر بتحتاج affection بتحتاج affection معين

Because men, or not men, humans need affection; they need a specific kind of affection.

ولو انت مش قادر تاخد ال affection دوت من الجنس الاخر للاسف انت بتبتدي تاخدو من ال homies من الدودز من الشباب

If you can't get that affection from the opposite sex, unfortunately, you start to get it from your homies, from the guys, from the youth.

فانت ما تبص حواليك تلاقيه تلاقيه لوشوش التعيسة سوابها في الشارع في المترو في اي مكان انت بتمر بيه بتحس ان فيه ازمة فيه ازمة كبيرة

You just have to look around and you'll see it—the unhappy faces swapped in the street, on the subway, in any place you pass by. You feel that there is a crisis, a big crisis.

ان فيه ناس كتير ان هيك فعلا محتاجة تعمل واحد فيه فيه

There are many people who really need to do it.

ازمة نياكا في مصر

The Nika crisis in Egypt.

ان هو بيفضل يبام بقى بالواحد ده فشخ في دماره احيان حاجة مستنيها بالك فترة ومعروف ان اي حاجة انت بتتبنيها و بتستنيها وبتقعد عليها فترة كبيرة فشخ ومعاك ليها high expectations لما بتيجي توصل لها finally بتكتشف ان هي it's not that good it's not what i expected

If he prefers to stay with this person, he's definitely ruining himself. Sometimes, you wait for something for a long time, and it's known that anything you build up, wait for, and invest a lot of time in usually comes with high expectations. When you finally reach it, you discover that it's not that good; it's not what I expected.

يقول لي بحسن أنت

He is telling me that you are good.

one thing أنت بتعمل

One thing you are doing.

الواحد دوت

The one dot.

بعد ما صرفتي

After you spent.

دم علبك كله

Your entire blood.

بتكتشف أن

You discover that.

wait a minute

Wait a minute.

I might not be in love

قد لا أكون في حالة حب.

with this person

مع هذا الشخص

maybe all what I wanted

Maybe all that I wanted.

is just to

هو فقط ل

to get laid

to have sexual intercourse

but now

لكن الآن

I'm stuck with that person

أنا عالق مع تلك الشخص.

what the fuck

What the fuck.

and then you go to work

ثم تذهب إلى العمل

and you just

و أنت فقط

zone out

تشتت الذهن

and you become

and you become

one of the zombies

One of the zombies.

that Egypt has

that Egypt has

Egypt statistically

Egypt statistically

عندها أكتر

Then more.

كمية zombies

Amount of zombies

في التاريخ

In history

ودة راجع لي إيه بقى

What are you coming back to me for?

تعالي بقى ناخد

Come on, let's take.

بقى الموضوع بقى

The subject remains.

دور شوية

"Turn a little."

تعالي ناخد الموضوع

Come, let's get to the subject.

دور شوية

Turn a little.

أن أنت

You are

growing up

growing up

في مصر

In Egypt

could miss you

Could miss you.

could miss you up

Could miss you up.

ممكن

Possible

يباوس فيك حاجة

What do you need from me?

ومن ضمن

Among them

المليون حاجة

The million things

للبلد دي

For this country.

ممكن

Possible

تباوضها فيك

Its collusion in you.

فاحنا تعالى نتكلم

"Come, let's talk."

عن نقطة السكس

About the point of sex.

تعالى ندوس فيها شوية

Come on, let's step on it a little bit.

تعالى نتعمق فيها شوية

Come, let's delve into it a bit.

أنا فاهم ودرك

I understand and comprehend.

الاقتصاد والمعيشة

Economy and living.

كل ده مهم جدا

All of this is very important.

بس خلينا نتكلم

But let's talk.

عليه في وقت داني خلينا نتكلم بس دلوقتي

Let's talk later, but for now, let's just focus on this.

عن السكس

About sex.

عن علاقتك بالجنس الآخر

About your relationship with the opposite sex.

عن علاقتك مع الابست سكس

About your relationship with the sex expert.

خلينا نتكلم في دي دلوقتي

Let's talk about this now.

انت كولد رحلتك

You are a child on your journey.

بتبدأ

It starts.

مع الجنس الاخرى بتبدأ في الابتدائي مش بتبدأ في الحضانة

With the other gender, it starts in elementary school, not in nursery.

اللي انت في الحضانة انت مش فاهم حاجة انت فرقينك للمبتدائي انت

What you are in preschool, you don't understand anything; you are separated for elementary school.

بتعيش افضل ست سنين في حياتك بتخوح المدرسة بندري مستحمي غاس

You will live the best six years of your life in school, I don't know if you are taking a shower.

الوشك مش عارف ايه الكرافيته اللي بقستك انت انت مش عارف انت

I'm not sure what the graffiti that has affected you is; you don't even know yourself.

ليه بتعمل ده انت انت مش هيجان انت مش عارف انت ليه تعمل ده بس

Why are you doing this? You're not out of control, you just don't know why you're doing this.

there's something good about going to school

There’s something good about going to school.

انت بتشوف بنات بتشوف بنات

You see girls, you see girls.

فيه community فيه حاجة جميلة

It has a community and it has something beautiful.

وبعدين بقى انت بتفضل

And then you prefer.

تعد الأيام بتعد الأيام

The days count by the days.

انت مش قادر تستنى لغاية لما تخش

You can't wait until you go in.

بقى عدادي وسنوي وتجبر بقى

My age remains constant, and I have become defiant.

مع المجموعة دي وتستكشف

With this group, you explore.

الحياة وبتاع

Life and stuff.

وبعدين تاخد أجازة أخر سنة

And then you take a vacation at the end of the year.

وتخش عدادي أخيرا

And you're finally afraid of my count.

أول يوم في المدرسة

The first day at school.

إلزباردي

Elzbardi

كمية إلزباردي

The amount of Al-Zabaradi.

I've been away for four months

لقد كنت غائبًا لمدة أربعة أشهر.

and now you took all the pussies

And now you took all the cats.

ده اللي بيحصل

This is what's happening.

فأي دفع عندك

What payment do you have?

ان انت بتروح المدرسة

You are going to school.

بدري وان انت بتروح زابط حالك

It's early, and if you're going, get yourself together.

وزابط الدنيا

And the balance of the world.

خلاص بتختفي

You're done; you'll disappear.

Why should I even care

لماذا يجب أن أهتم حتى؟

وعليفة هي رسالة الحلقة النهاردة هي ان

And the message of today's episode is that

يلا نيك

Let's go.

كان معكم عمر حسام

You were with Omar Hassam.

من زبري

From my penis.