تجربة مرة 22 | عاطف: بسبب تزوير البسبورات والتأشيرات دفعت الثمن بضياع عائلتي

ممكن السجن أحياناً يكون عقوبة ظالمة بسبب الظروف القاهرة اللي بتنفرض على السجين وهو بحالة عجز كاملة عن أي فعل أو رد فعل

Sometimes prison can be an unjust punishment due to the dire circumstances imposed on the inmate who is in a complete state of inability to act or respond.

وأحياناً بيكون العجز أكبر من هموم السجن والحياة جواته

Sometimes the burden is greater than the worries of prison and life inside it.

يمكن هذا الكلام بينطبق على حكاية عاطف

This statement can apply to Aatif's story.

قصة عاطف وهذا اسم مستعار هو اختاره

The story of Atef, and this is a pseudonym he chose.

بتجمع كتير من ظروف السجن والحرب البشعة والغربة اللي اجتمعوا بحياته

A lot of the circumstances of imprisonment, the horrific war, and the alienation that gathered in his life.

وهذا الشيء اللي عاشه ست سنين متواصلة ضايع ببلاد غريبة وضايع منه كل شيء

And this is what he experienced for six continuous years, lost in a foreign land and lost everything.

صحته عم تتراجع عيلته ضايعه وغريب عن الكل

His health is deteriorating, his family is lost, and he feels alienated from everyone.

يمكن عاطف دفع ثمن كبير أكبر من الجرم يلي ارتكبه والسجن يلي قضى كان سبب بهالشيء

Atef could pay a high price greater than the crime he committed, and the prison he spent was the reason for this.

ثمن أكبر من العمر اللي ضاع منه دفعه من صحته وعيلته ومستقبله

A price greater than the life he lost, taken away from his health, his family, and his future.

بطلنا اليوم عمره 48 سنة

Our hero today is 48 years old.

متزوج وخارج

Married and out.

وخارج عتيق من معهد سياحي

And an ancient exit from a tourism institute.

عايش بسوريا من مدة طويلة

I have been living in Syria for a long time.

وبيشتغل بمكتب سياحة

He works at a travel agency.

بإصدار باسبورات وتأشيرات سياحية

By issuing passports and tourist visas

باسبورات وتأشيرات سياحية غير قانونية

Illegal passports and tourist visas.

ودي كانت غلطتي

I wish it was my mistake.

وغلطة دفعت عيلتي ثمنها معاي

"And a mistake that my family paid the price for with me."

شو علاقة عيلته بالخطأ اللي ارتكبوا

What is his family's connection to the mistake he made?

هات كان أول سؤال خطر لنا لما سمعنا هالكلمتين

That was the first question that came to our minds when we heard those two words.

لإني أنا كنت سبب اللي حصل معهم

Because I was the reason for what happened to them.

عيلتي ضاعت

My family is lost.

وخسرت كل حاجة

And I lost everything.

عاطف كان ساكن هو وعيلته بحمص قبل الحرب بسوريا

Atef lived with his family in Homs before the war in Syria.

وكان يشتغل بمجال السياحة وتأمين رحلات سياحية للأجانب

He was working in the field of tourism and securing travel trips for foreigners.

اللي بيحبوا يجوا على سوريا

Those who love to come to Syria.

الله يرحم الأيام اللي فاتت

May God have mercy on the days that have passed.

وخلال الحرب سبنا حمص

During the war, we left Homs.

أنا وامراتي وبناتها اللي سنهم 14 و16 سنة

My wife and I, along with our daughters who are 14 and 16 years old.

وابن الوحيد اللي عنده 6 سنين

And the only son who is 6 years old.

بسبب الضرب والاشتباكات

Due to the beatings and clashes.

وطلعنا على حلب عند أخت امراتي وجوزها

We went to Aleppo to visit my wife's sister and her husband.

قعدنا عندهم بس فترة صغيرة

We sat with them for just a little while.

صارت خلافات كتير

There have been many disagreements.

هو ما قدر يتحمل الوضع

He couldn't handle the situation.

إنه يعني قاعد عند عديله

He means he is sitting with his brother-in-law.

عقله ما تحمله

His mind cannot bear it.

كيف هنن بدن يصرفوا عليه وعلى عيلته؟

How are they going to take care of him and his family?

ليش اختلفوا؟ شو اللي صار؟

Why did they disagree? What happened?

غير إن البيت صغير فأجرتي بيت قديم

However, the house is small, so I rented an old house.

وصغير بعيد عن نقطها

And small, far from its points.

وأعادت فيه

And it was repeated in it

واختلفت مع امراتي وافترقنا عن بعض

I had a disagreement with my wife, and we parted ways.

عادت أنا في الأحياء الغربية الحلب

I returned to the western neighborhoods of Aleppo.

وهي راح يتقعدت في الأحياء الشرقية الحلب

She is going to settle in the eastern neighborhoods of Aleppo.

وهون كانت الحرب والاشتباك

And here was the war and the clash.

الليالية عم بتصير بالشرقية

The nights are happening in the east.

وأنا خفت عليها وعالأولاد

I was worried about her and the kids.

وطلبت منها تسيب أختها وتيجي تسكن معايا

I asked her to let her sister go and come live with me.

بس هي رفضت

But she refused.

ودفعوا بناتها تمن كبير

And they paid a great price for their daughters.

دفع حياتهم تمن لعنادها

They paid with their lives for her stubbornness.

بناتها تقتلوا برصاص طايش

Her daughters were killed by stray bullets.

وهم موقفين عالبلكونة

They are standing on the balcony.

بيتفرجوا عالمظاهرة اللي في الشارع

They are watching the demonstration in the street.

وكان فيه اشتباكات بين الطرفين بالرشاشات

There were clashes between the two sides with machine guns.

مراتي زاد عنادها

My wife has become more stubborn.

واعتبرت إن هي السبب

I considered that she is the reason.

مش عارف كانت حاسة مجنونة في الوقت دوت

I don't know, she felt crazy at that moment.

ولا متوازنة نفسيا أو عقليا

Neither psychologically nor mentally balanced.

مش عارف

I don't know.

وخلال فترة قصيرة

In a short period of time.

انقطعت الطرق بين حلب الشرقية والغربية

The roads between eastern and western Aleppo have been cut off.

وما عاد قدر يوصل لعندن أبدا

And he can never reach them again.

وهنا أنا بقيت أقول لها بإنها ترجع لي ابني

And here I was telling her to return my son to me.

علشان ما حصلوش حاجة هناك

So that nothing happened there.

وحاولت كتير أشوف عالم يساعدوني

I tried a lot to find someone to help me.

إني أطلعه

I am informing him.

بس ما قدرتش

But I couldn't.

وحصل ضرب أكثر

And there were more strikes.

وأنا دخلت في مشكلة كبيرة كمان

I got into a big problem too.

ودخلت على السجن

And I entered the prison.

وما بقيتش قادر أتواصل معاهم

And I can no longer communicate with them.

أبدا

Never

وزي ما قلتلك

As I told you.

أنا أصلا بشتغل في مجال السياحة والتأشيرات السياحية

I actually work in the field of tourism and tourist visas.

وكنت قبل ما اشتغل في موضوع الأسبورات المزيفة

I was working on the issue of fake passports before.

وعلي فيش واسجل القضاء بس كنت هربان

I was supposed to be in court, but I was on the run.

وفي يوم كنت قاعد في القهوة

One day, I was sitting in the coffee shop.

الأمن جه

The security is on.

كانوا بيدوروا على المطلوبين

They were looking for the wanted individuals.

وأخدوا الهويات الموجودين كلهم

And they took all the identities that were present.

وفيشوها

And show her.

ومسكوني وحاولوني على القضاء

"And they possessed me and tried to drag me to judgment."

وهناك بدأوا التحقيق معايا

And there they started the investigation with me.

واتهموني بجريمة التزوير

They accused me of the crime of forgery.

وحاولوني على سجن عضرة

And they tried to imprison me in Adhra.

وقالوا لي

And they said to me.

أبدا

Never.

وهناك بدأت أعيش معاناة أكبر بكتير

And there, I began to experience a much greater suffering.

تقريبا عانيت من كل شيء في البداية

I almost suffered from everything in the beginning.

وضع الصحي اللي باز أكتر

The health situation is getting worse.

احتياج الأسطرة في القلب

The need for scaffolding in the heart.

وأنا أصلا مريض بالرب

I am actually sick with asthma.

والعناة الصحية في السجن مش زي برا

The health care in prison is not like outside.

والرطبة بتاكل جسمي المسجون

"And the moisture is eating my imprisoned body."

عشان الشمس مش بتدخل غرف السجن

Because the sun doesn't enter the prison rooms.

وعانيت من انعدام أي مصدر مالي

"I suffered from a lack of any financial resource."

ما عنديش زيارات

I don't have visits.

وما عنديش مصدر الأكل والشرب

I don't have a source for food and drink.

ما فيش غير أكل السجن

There is nothing but prison food.

اللي ما بيشتغلوا

Those who do not work.

ما بيكفيش

It's not enough.

وغربة بين الناس

And a sense of alienation among people.

ما بعرفش حد

I don't know anyone.

ما حدش بيعرفني

No one knows me.

كنت المصر الوحيد في الجناح بتاعي في السجن

I was the only Egyptian in my cell in prison.

ووضع الصحي بقى أسوأ بكتير

The health situation has become much worse.

طول ما أنا موجود في السجن

As long as I am in prison.

واتطريت كذا مرة أتنيل على المستشفى العسكري التابع للسجن

"I had to go several times to the military hospital affiliated with the prison."

وأفضل فيها أسابيع

And the best weeks are in it.

ولأني كنت محتاج دايما علاج لموضوع الرطوبة والربو

And because I always needed treatment for the issue of humidity and asthma.

اللي كان كل شوية بيزيد

The one who kept increasing every little while.

شفت الموت كتير مش قادر أتنفس

I have seen death many times, I can't breathe.

ومحتاج أكسوجين

I need oxygen.

وأيام هون تصحى بالليل وأصرخ

And on those nights I wake up and scream.

وصوتي مش بيطلع

And my voice doesn't come out.

لأني مش قادر أتنفس

Because I can't breathe.

والمسجين كتير في الغرفة

There are many prisoners in the room.

والنفس دايع على الكل

"And the self is lost to everyone."

عشت جحيم حقيقي

I lived a real hell.

في كل الليالي اللي قضيتها في السجن

In all the nights I spent in prison.

طيب من وين كنت أصرف وتعيش؟

Okay, where were you spending and living?

بعد سنة من وجودي في السجن

After a year of being in prison.

تعرفت على شاب جماعي

I met a collective young man.

وكنا بنتكلم أنا وهو

We were talking, he and I.

وعرف إن أنا بعرف لغات بشكل كبير

And he knew that I know languages quite well.

أقنعني إن أطلب من قدرة السجن

Convince me to ask for the prison's power.

تخليني مدرس في مدرسة السجن

You make me a teacher in a prison school.

للغة الإنجليزية

For the English language.

وقدمت الطلب بس موافقوش عليه

I submitted the request, but they did not approve it.

وقالوا لي ممكن تروح على المكتبة

They told me you could go to the library.

وتدرس السجناء هناك

And you teach the prisoners there.

بس في المدرسة مش عايزين مدرسين تاني

But at school, they don't want more teachers.

إحنا كده مكتفيين

We are satisfied like this.

المهم عملت كده وصرت أدرس

The important thing is that I did that and started studying.

المسجين اللي معايا في الجناح

The inmate who is with me in the wing.

وهم الحالهم اللي ديني فلوس

"And they are the ones who owe me money."

واللي ديني أكل وشرب

"And what religion gives me food and drink."

يعني قدرت أمشي أموري

It means I was able to manage my affairs.

وساعات كتير ما كانش فيه ناس معاهم حاجة يدهلي

And many times there were no people to give me anything.

فكنت بدرس لهم ببلاش

I was teaching them for free.

أكتر من سجين

More than one prisoner.

اتحولوا من عدم معرفتهم

They turned from their ignorance.

نهائيا باللغة الإنجليزية

Finally in English.

لقيت قانونه بشكل كبير لها اللغة

I found its law largely related to the language.

وبكل مجالاتها

And in all its fields.

وفي منهم ضل أكتر من 3 سنين

Some of them have been lost for more than 3 years.

عم يدرس على إيدين عاطف

He is studying under Atef's guidance.

وقدر يخليهم يقرأوا ويكتبوا

And he was able to make them read and write.

ويحكوا

And they say.

أحيانا كنا بنتسلى بإننا نترجم

Sometimes we entertain ourselves by translating.

نشرات الأهوار بالإنجليزي

Marsh publications in English

أو نترجم شيء مكتوب بالإنجليزي على العيلة بالأكل مثلا

Or we translate something written in English about the family related to food, for example.

أو الحاجات اللي بنشتريها

Or the things that we buy.

رشدتات الأدوية

Drug promotions

حكيت لي إنه ما كانت تجيك الزيارات

You told me that you weren't receiving visits.

طيب كنت قادر تتواصل

Okay, you could have communicated.

مع مرتك وابنك

With your spouse and your son.

ما كنت شاقدر أحكي مع أختهم

I couldn't talk to their sister.

الثالثة اللي ساكنة في الشام كتير

The third one who lives in Damascus a lot.

كانت بتنقل لي أخبار عن أختها

She was passing on news about her sister to me.

ولكن بعد سنة من وجودي في السجن

But after a year of being in prison

أختها هي كمان هربت من الحرب

Her sister also escaped from the war.

وسافرت على تركيا

And I traveled to Turkey.

وبقيت ما عرفش عنهم أي حاجة

And I remained without knowing anything about them.

لمدة 5 سنين في السجن

For 5 years in prison.

أنا ما عرفش عنهم أي حاجة

I don't know anything about them.

ولا معلومة عايشين ولا ميتين

No information if they are alive or dead.

ولا حصل معهم إيه

And what happened with them?

ما عرفش

I don't know.

ما عم تحاول توصلهم أو توصل معلومات عنهم

What are you trying to reach them or convey information about them?

أكيد حاولت

Of course, I tried.

ورحت الشاشة

And the screen went away.

ورحت السارع اللي كانوا ساكنين فيه

And I went to the neighborhood where they used to live.

وشفت الناس هناك

And I saw the people there.

وسألتهم عنها وعن بيت أختها

And I asked them about her and about her sister's house.

بس للأسف الناس كلها تشردت وهربت

But unfortunately, everyone fled and ran away.

وكل يوم بسمع قصة شكل عنها وعن أختها

"Every day I hear a story about her and her sister."

وجوز أختها

And her sister's husband.

مرة ماتوا في القصف

Once they died in the shelling.

مرة هربوا على تركيا

They once escaped to Turkey.

مرة أنهم ما ضلوا بالشرقية

Once, they did not stray in the East.

لما فاتت عليهم الدولة في 2016

When the state passed them by in 2016.

مرة أنهم طلعوا لجوء على أوروبا

One time they sought refuge in Europe.

والله ما عارف أصدق مين ولا عاملين

"I swear I don’t know who to believe or who is acting."

عاطف

Atif

انحكمت 8 سنين سجن بتهمة التزوير

I was sentenced to 8 years in prison for forgery.

أضى منهم 6 سنين

They have been living there for 6 years.

وطلع من فترة مبعدة

And he came out after a long time.

زي ما قلتلك أنا مش هممني أي حاجة

As I told you, I don't care about anything.

أنا دلوقتي بدور على عيلتي وامراتي وابني

I am currently looking for my family, my wife, and my son.

مش هممني أي حاجة تانية

I didn't care about anything else.

أنا عايز ابني عايز أعرف حصله إيه

I want my son; I want to know what happened to him.

أنا هتجنن

I'm going to go crazy.

مش عارف أعمل إيه

I don't know what to do.

لا أقدر أتعالج ولا أعمل العملية اللي كان مفروض أعملها من 6 سنين

I can't get treated or have the surgery that I was supposed to have 6 years ago.

وكمان خلال رأتين عندي

And also during my two evenings.

تلفق أكتر خلال فترة وجودي بالسجن

I fabricated more during my time in prison.

نفسي أعرف حاجة عن ابني وامراتي

I want to know something about my son and my wife.

والله لو ميتين أريح

"By God, if we were dead, it would be more comfortable."

على الأقل مش هفضل عايش على الأمل اللي أنا عايش عليه ده

At least I won't keep living on this hope that I'm living on.

وكل يوم أحلم فيهم وكل لحظة

And every day I dream of them and every moment.

أنا استحقت السجن والعقوب

I deserve prison and punishment.

بس مش عارف الدنيا جاي علي أقوي كده ليه

I just don't understand why life is coming down so hard on me like this.

يعني فوق السجن

It means above the prison.

وغربة وظلمة وضياعة

And alienation, darkness, and loss.

تجربة مرة

A bitter experience.

بودكاست على راديو الآن

Podcast on Radio Now

ترجمة نانسي قنقر

Translation by Nancy Qanqar.