T2 E9: Al final, tot és ridícul.
la FOSSA
la FOSSA
T2 E9: Al final, tot és ridícul.
I ara, comencem!
And now, let's begin!
Asma, amica, molts records a la teva dona.
Asma, friend, many regards to your wife.
Com pugueu sentir darrere meu, darrere meu, molt contenta la gent.
As you can hear behind me, behind me, the people are very happy.
Amb la cepa índia la gent podrà fer servir un clixé més, a part dels que ja feien servir.
With the Indian variant, people will be able to use one more cliché, in addition to the ones they were already using.
Que perquè tinguem vaques domèstiques organitzem passejos sobre elefants.
That is why we organize walks on elephants so that we have domestic cows.
Gent índia molt bo, molt bo també.
Very good Indian people, very good too.
Tot és una bonica peça aquí.
Everything is a beautiful piece here.
Benvinguts a la fossa!
Welcome to the pit!
Un podcast i una tenda d'alfobres a l'hora.
A podcast and a tent of awnings at the same time.
Tot en un i barat.
Everything in one and cheap.
Good morning, afternoon or night?
Good morning, afternoon, or night?
El meu nom és Mark Bridge
My name is Mark Bridge.
i aquí seguim de dol.
And here we are still in mourning.
Per la mort!
For death!
Oh, my fucking god, why?
Oh, my fucking god, why?
Why?
Why?
I'm so sorry, my duke.
I'm so sorry, my duke.
La cepa.
The vine.
La cepa britànica que està bastant controlada.
The British strain that is fairly controlled.
A les altres parts de aquest fucking world
To the other parts of this fucking world.
ho tenen més xungo, proqui.
it's more difficult for them, proqui.
Proqui, senpe.
Proqui, senpe.
Bueno, no.
Well, no.
Sabbing the fucking shit because of the duke
Knowing the fucking shit because of the duke.
and my lords, hang me to your place.
And my lords, hang me in your place.
Please.
Please.
La vida en Gran Bretanya no te sentia.
Life in Great Britain did not hear you.
La gent que prenia el tel o el cinc de la tarda
The people who took the phone or the five o'clock tea.
ja no es posa sucre.
no more sugar is added.
Perquè saben que aquest és un món amarg.
Because they know that this is a bitter world.
I'm so sorry.
Em sap molt de greu.
I'm so sorry, però ja no puc seguir més.
I'm so sorry, but I can no longer continue.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
I love you guys.
I love you guys.
I'm so sorry, my duke.
Ho sento tant, el meu duc.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
The big band is still moving,
The big band is still moving,
but el meu temps no ha toque se m'acaba.
but my time has not touched me, it is running out.
Bé.
Good.
Seguiré amb el dol.
I will continue with the mourning.
And welcome to la fossa.
And welcome to the pit.
Com el meu cor.
Like my heart.
Profur, fosc i sent merda.
Profane, dark, and feeling like crap.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
La vida en Gran Bretanya no te'n vas a posar.
Life in Great Britain won't let you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
La vida en Gran Bretanya no te'n vas a posar.
Life in Great Britain is not going to suit you.
Bon dia a cada unit.
Good morning to each unit.
La gent va a parlar i a parlar-me o a no ser per què.
People will talk and talk to me or not be for what.
I jo de puta en Brasil me uniré.
And I, like a whore in Brazil, will join.
La única cosa bona que tenim a utopilació brasileira
The only good thing we have in Brazilian utopia.
é la samba do Brasil.
It is the samba of Brazil.
La samba do Brasil.
The samba of Brazil.
Ah, que cosa més bona.
Ah, what a lovely thing.
Que dixi tu de ceba brasileira una cosa així.
What you said about Brazilian onion is something like that.
En Brasil du una cosa, una contatge,
In Brazil, I carry something, an account,
la dona, la dona i la samba.
the woman, the woman and the samba.
La dona i la samba.
The woman and the samba.
Ah, tu me comprendes.
Ah, you understand me.
Ah, que cosa més bona.
Ah, what a delicious thing.
Mentalidad do tiburón.
Shark mentality.
Si no t'han d'ho falat.
If they haven't told you.
Uy, ara, millor, tu m'entendes, eh.
Oh, now, better, you understand me, right?
Benvenudo a la fosa.
Welcome to the pit.
Un programa d'humor, eh.
A humor program, huh.
Bona pera, eh.
Good pear, huh.
Ha, ha.
Ha, ha.
Bueno, seguirem fent aquest podcast.
Well, we'll continue making this podcast.
Intentarem ser millor que els que hi ha arreu del món, eh.
We will try to be better than those who are out there in the world, okay.
I també intentarem, doncs, també sortir dels clichés, eh.
And we will also try, therefore, to step outside of clichés, okay.
Sí, sí, Jan, sí.
Yes, yes, Jan, yes.
Anem, doncs, suposo, amb el noticiari.
Let's go, then, I suppose, with the news report.
Estem malalts, Jan.
We are sick, Jan.
Estem malalts, estem malalts.
We are sick, we are sick.
Les teves notícies en un minut.
Your news in one minute.
Veiem què cony passa aquí.
Let's see what the hell is going on here.
Notícies sota pressió.
News under pressure.
Arranquem el noticiari pel carril dels camions.
We start the news report on the truck lane.
Perquè direm coses de molt de pes?
Why will we say things of great importance?
No, perquè tot apunta que Isabel Díaz Ayuso,
No, because everything points to Isabel Díaz Ayuso,
en cas de ser la nova presidenta de la Comunitat de Madrid,
in the event of being the new president of the Community of Madrid,
cosa que té bastant a favor,
something that is quite favorable,
podrà pactar amb la dreta,
will be able to negotiate with the right,
però no haurien d'anar els camions passats als autopistes.
but trucks should not go on highways.
Que et sembla com lliga els temes?
What do you think about how it connects the themes?
I també haurien d'anar per la dreta, o si més no, pel carril bici,
And they should also go to the right, or at least, on the bike lane,
si són els patinets elèctrics.
if they are electric scooters.
Tot un malson pels vianants i vehicles,
A total nightmare for pedestrians and vehicles,
que sembla ser que a partir d'ara
it seems that from now on
serà lleir que tinguin una assegurança per poder circular.
It will be necessary for them to have insurance in order to drive.
Qui haurà de pagar 35 euros a l'any per circular
Who will have to pay 35 euros a year to circulate?
són tots els cotxes que no siguin elèctrics.
they are all the cars that are not electric.
El Departament de Sostenibilitat i Medi Ambient de la Generalitat de Catalunya
The Department of Sustainability and the Environment of the Government of Catalonia
obligarà els cotxes que emeten emissions de CO2
will require cars that emit CO2 emissions
a pagar aquest impost de circulació.
to pay this road tax.
Amb els guanys, segons diuen,
With the profits, they say,
podran invertir en mesures sostenibles
they will be able to invest in sustainable measures
per curar una mica més aquest planeta que ja no guanya per disgustos.
to cure this planet a little more, which is no longer winning for disappointments.
Qui no guanya per disgustos és Pablo Iglesias.
The only one who doesn't win for disappointments is Pablo Iglesias.
Fa prop de dues setmanes,
It's been almost two weeks ago,
el candidat a les eleccions de president de la Comunitat de Madrid
the candidate for the elections of president of the Community of Madrid
va rebre una carta amenaçadora amb quatre bales del calibre 36.
He received a threatening letter with four .36 caliber bullets.
Qui també en va interceptar una a l'Oficina de Correus de Sant Cugat
Who also intercepted one at the Sant Cugat Post Office.
va ser Diaz Ayuso.
It was Diaz Ayuso.
Ella, però, diu no tenir cap mena de por d'aquestes amenaces.
She, however, claims to have no fear of these threats.
I té pors la Policia Nacional.
And the National Police is afraid.
La setmana passada, la Guàrdia Civil va declarar
Last week, the Civil Guard declared
que volia vacunar-se a Catalunya de la mateixa manera que els Mossos d'Esquadra.
that wanted to get vaccinated in Catalonia in the same way as the Mossos d'Esquadra.
Argimon va respondre durament, ja que diu
Argimon responded harshly, as he said.
fer aquest tipus de peticions és posar en dubte les gestions de sanitat.
Making this type of requests casts doubt on the management of healthcare.
Torna el nostre amic i tornem a parlar d'ell.
Our friend returns and we talk about him again.
Parlem de la Covid-19.
Let's talk about Covid-19.
Sí, que hem de parlar de vacunes.
Yes, we need to talk about vaccines.
Ja, però era per si no havia quedat clar.
Yes, but it was in case it wasn't clear.
El brot de l'Índia podria ser que hagués arribat a València.
The outbreak from India could have reached Valencia.
Doctors d'un hospital dels Països Valencians consideren
Doctors from a hospital in the Valencian Community believe
la possibilitat que els símptomes d'un pacient
the possibility that a patient's symptoms
podrien coincidir amb la vessant índia del virus.
they could coincide with the Indian variant of the virus.
Gràcies a l'acció de Joe Biden, mig Estats Units, a hores d'ara ja està vacunat.
Thanks to Joe Biden's action, half of the United States is already vaccinated by now.
De fet, a Nova York, les persones que ja tinguin dues dosis de la vacuna
In fact, in New York, people who have already received two doses of the vaccine
podran anar sense mascareta.
they will be able to go without a mask.
A Espanya no van pas tan bé les coses i no són pas 382 milions d'habitants.
In Spain, things are not going so well, and there are not 382 million inhabitants.
Actualment, la península sols un 21% ha sigut vacunada amb una dosi
Currently, only 21% of the peninsula has been vaccinated with one dose.
i només el 7% té la segona.
and only 7% has the second.
Tanmateix, per la sorpresa de tots i contra tot,
However, to everyone's surprise and against all odds,
pronòstic, la setmana passada van arribar 4 milions de vacunes d'Estrezena,
forecast, last week 4 million AstraZeneca vaccines arrived,
cada les quals 600.000 estan destinades a Catalunya.
of which 600,000 are allocated to Catalonia.
El dia 9 de maig s'aixeca l'estat d'alarma a Espanya
On May 9, the state of emergency is lifted in Spain.
i sembla ser que els bars podran obrir fins a les 11 cada dia.
It seems that the bars will be able to open until 11 every day.
A Israel, país que ja pot anar sense mascareta gràcies a la vacunació,
In Israel, a country where one can now go without a mask thanks to vaccination,
celebra el primer esdeveniment multitudinari.
celebrates the first mass event.
Promoren 5 persones per un allau de gent,
Five people are promoted due to a crowd surge.
un cas semblant a l'esdeveniment de l'Arenes a Madrid.
A case similar to the event of the Arenes in Madrid.
Per esdeveniments, Ocasgras es treu nou single i el maig nou disc.
For events, Ocasgras is releasing a new single and a new album in May.
En els esports.
In sports.
El Barça perd contra el Granada
Barça loses against Granada.
i la superlliga fa més aigües que un cafè Bicà.
And the super league is leaking more than a Bicà coffee.
L'horòscop.
The horoscope.
Capricorn ha tingut un mal dia,
Capricorn has had a bad day,
si no ets Capricorn i has tingut un mal dia,
if you are not a Capricorn and you have had a bad day,
també has de mirar-te millor l'horòscop.
You also need to take a better look at your horoscope.
Idiota.
Idiot.
Molt bé, Marc, molt bé,
Very good, Marc, very good,
doncs toca parlar de la Covid!
So it's time to talk about Covid!
Toca parlar!
It's time to talk!
Toca parlar de la Covid!
It's time to talk about Covid!
Sí!
Yes!
Sí, sí, sí, t'he volgut parlar de la Covid.
Yes, yes, yes, I wanted to talk to you about Covid.
Sabies que a Nova York més de la meitat dels adults estan vacunats
Did you know that in New York more than half of the adults are vaccinated?
com a mínim amb la primera dosi
at least with the first dose
i més d'un terç estan amb les dues dosis?
And more than a third have both doses?
Ah.
Ah.
Amb les dues dosis.
With both doses.
Amb les dues, sí, clar.
With both, yes, of course.
Perquè és una i dos, què passa?
Why is it one and two, what happens?
Però hi ha totes les vacunes.
But there are all the vaccines.
Bé, clar, tio.
Well, of course, dude.
Quines tenen? No m'ho he preguntat mai.
What do they have? I've never asked myself.
Aquí tenim l'estranger, que la moderna...
Here we have the stranger, who the modern...
No, ells tenen les mateixes, idiota.
No, they have the same ones, idiot.
Les mateixes?
The same ones?
Sí.
Yes.
Bé, i esteu en moderna ja també?
Well, are you in modern times now too?
O moderna.
Oh modern.
Jo suposo que et dic modern.
I suppose I'm telling you modern.
Modern.
Modern.
Diu modern?
Say modern?
Modern vaccine.
Modern vaccine.
How I met your mother.
How I Met Your Mother.
Però jo el que estava dient no era una cosa sèria.
But what I was saying was not a serious thing.
És que a Nova York s'han vacunat el 39,6% de la població total.
In New York, 39.6% of the total population has been vaccinated.
Illa puta.
Island whore.
Marc, escoltam.
Marc, listen to me.
Tu creus?
Do you believe?
Aquí som 7,5 milions, d'acord?
Here we are 7.5 million, okay?
Allà són 19 milions de persones i s'han vacunat gairebé el 40%.
There are 19 million people there, and nearly 40% have been vaccinated.
A Estats Units no, a Nova York.
In the United States, no, in New York.
I ens hem vacunat...
And we have been vaccinated...
I ens hem vacunat només el 24%.
And we have only vaccinated 24%.
Però què estem fent?
But what are we doing?
Què estem fent?
What are we doing?
Som-te'n dos.
Take two of them.
Que no ho saps que som-te'n dos?
Don't you know there are two of us?
Som idiotes.
We are idiots.
Som imbècils.
We are idiots.
Som idiotes.
We are idiots.
Ara, ara.
Now, now.
Eh.
Eh.
També diria que els americans són uns flipats.
I would also say that Americans are a bit outrageous.
Potser.
Maybe.
Per totes.
For everyone.
Flipping tant.
Flipping so much.
Tu sabies que a Amèrica no existeixen les persianes?
Did you know that in America there are no window blinds?
A no ser que vinguis que som baixos.
Unless you come, we are short.
No m'ho puc imaginar.
I can't imagine it.
Saps per què?
Do you know why?
No m'ho puc imaginar perquè són idiotes.
I can't imagine it because they are idiots.
No, no per ser idiotes, sinó perquè gasten tants diners en llum entre el Times Square i tot plegat amb cartells.
No, not for being idiots, but because they spend so much money on lights between Times Square and all that with signs.
No, no, t'ho dic en sèrio.
No, no, I'm serious.
Que no es posen persianes perquè la gent paga per veure allò.
They don't put up blinds because people pay to see that.
Explicat o no?
Explained or not?
Això m'ho van explicar al turn.
They explained this to me at the turn.
Molt bé, molt bé.
Very well, very well.
Vale.
Okay.
Per tant, jo no pagaria.
Therefore, I would not pay.
Vull dir, jo vull dormir.
I mean, I want to sleep.
Saps que vull dormir.
You know that I want to sleep.
Ja, però ells no.
Yes, but they don’t.
Bueno, podem tornar al tema?
Well, can we return to the topic?
Hòstia, explotem un guió per alguna cosa, no?
Damn, let's come up with a script for something, right?
Va, escolta'm, va.
Come on, listen to me, come on.
Bueno, i tu tal.
Well, and you too.
Estem parlant de les vacunes de Nova York.
We are talking about the vaccines of New York.
Que els nits de puta es vacunen molt.
That the whores' nights are very vaccinated.
Sí.
Yes.
I aquí no ens vacunem.
And here we don't get vaccinated.
Com és?
How is it?
Explica-m'ho tu.
Explain it to me.
Per una agulla i unes coses.
For a needle and some things.
Però...
But...
No, ja m'ha deixat l'avançada.
No, it has already left me behind.
Ja no.
Not anymore.
Escolta'm, hi ha herois aquí.
Listen to me, there are heroes here.
No et parlo dels sanitaris.
I'm not talking to you about the healthcare workers.
T'ho saps o no?
Do you know it or not?
Sí, clar que ho sé.
Yes, of course I know it.
Sí?
Yes?
Clar que ho sé, però a veure, és que...
Of course I know, but let's see, it's just that...
És això, saps?
It's this, you know?
Vull dir...
I mean...
El que a mi m'inquieta, a més a més de tot,
What worries me, besides everything,
és que allà a Nova York...
it's just that there in New York...
Bueno, als Estats Units.
Well, in the United States.
Si tens les dues dosis, pots anar sense mascareta, tio.
If you have both doses, you can go without a mask, dude.
Què dius?
What are you saying?
Pots anar sense mascareta.
You can go without a mask.
Ja no.
Not anymore.
I aquí és on entren aquests herois que suposo que has volgut dir tu.
And here is where these heroes come in that I suppose you meant.
Perquè jo crec que els autèntics herois de la societat d'avui dia...
Because I believe that the true heroes of today's society...
Exacte.
Exactly.
Diguem-ho a l'hora.
Let's say it at the hour.
Fem una cosa, diguem-ho a l'hora.
Let's do one thing, let's say it at the time.
Sí?
Yes?
Tres, dos, un...
Three, two, one...
Els bombers.
The firefighters.
Què?
What?
Els bombers?
The firefighters?
Bueno, els bombers que no entren en flames...
Well, the firefighters that don't go up in flames...
Jo anava a dir que els autèntics herois són els que es tornen dins les mascaretes.
I was going to say that the true heroes are those who turn inside the masks.
Aquests són els autèntics herois.
These are the true heroes.
Aquests no són herois.
These are not heroes.
Perdona, tu has provat d'es tornar a les set del matí
Sorry, have you tried to come back at seven in the morning?
i aguantar el moqueta dins la mascareta fins a les vuit del vespre?
And hold the carpet inside the mask until eight in the evening?
Aquest tres?
This three?
Dins la mascareta?
Inside the mask?
Un fotopàstic aquest és jo?
A photo booth, is this me?
No, però aquest no és que siguin herois.
No, but this is not about them being heroes.
És que aquests, vull dir...
It's just that these, I mean...
Sí, el que va a trepitjar la lluna al seu costat és imbècil.
Yes, the one who will step on the moon next to him is an idiot.
Totalment.
Totally.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Per tant, resum.
Therefore, summary.
Marc, resum.
Marc, summary.
Anem a resum.
Let's summarize.
Estats Units són uns idiotes flipats que van aquí vacunant més del que haurien de vacunar.
The United States are a bunch of crazy idiots who go around vaccinating more than they should.
Tranquil.
Calm.
Vacuna per sobre les seves possibilitats.
Vaccine beyond its possibilities.
Catalunya.
Catalonia.
Som uns pringats perquè en vacunem menys que...
We are fools because we vaccinate fewer than...
Bueno, però a Catalunya estem lligats a Espanya i a Espanya...
Well, but in Catalonia we are tied to Spain and in Spain...
Espanya és la desgraciada.
Spain is the unfortunate one.
Ho deixem aquí.
We'll leave it here.
Ui, avui.
Oh, today.
Hòstia, que anem a la presó.
Holy shit, we are going to prison.
Va, prou.
Come on, enough.
I, finalment, els herois de les mascaretes...
I, finally, the heroes of the masks...
Què esternuden?
What do they sneeze?
Al final som uns pringats.
In the end, we are a bunch of losers.
També.
Also.
No esternudeu dins les mascaretes, per favor.
Please do not sneeze inside the masks.
Us aparteu la mascareta i esternudeu en el colze, com ho va dir...
You take off your mask and sneeze into your elbow, as it was said...
Això no va en contra de la Covid?
Doesn't this go against Covid?
No, això ho va dir...
No, he said this...
Com es diu?
What is it called?
Ah, quan has d'esternudar amb el colze.
Ah, when you have to sneeze with your elbow.
Amb el colze.
With the elbow.
Bueno, amb la part interior del colze, esternudes allà dins.
Well, with the inside of the elbow, you sneeze in there.
Sí, perquè amb el colze, si no te'l pots xopar, és complicat esternudar darrere.
Yes, because with the elbow, if you can't soak it, it's complicated to sneeze into it.
És antihumà, és antigenic, això.
It is anti-human, it is antigenic, this.
Escolta'm, Jan, anem a fer un experiment.
Listen to me, Jan, let's do an experiment.
Sí o no?
Yes or no?
Anem a fer un experiment.
Let's do an experiment.
Vinga.
Come on.
Endavant.
Forward.
Digues alguna cosa.
Say something.
Què?
What?
En rotllo, passa la seua excepció.
In a roll, his exception occurs.
Ah, d'acord, d'acord, sí.
Ah, okay, okay, yes.
No, doncs, anem a veure...
Well then, let's see...
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Anem a fer un experiment.
Let's do an experiment.
La secció va d'un experiment, introduint la secció i ja està.
The section is about an experiment, introducing the section and that’s it.
Què passaria, o més ben dit, què passarà...
What would happen, or rather, what will happen...
Sí.
Yes.
...quan s'aixequi el confinament?
...when will the lockdown be lifted?
Ah, anem a veure.
Ah, let's see.
Anem a veure.
Let's see.
Jan?
Jan?
Millons, on és la gent?
Millions, where are the people?
Jan?
Jan?
On està aquest?
Where is this?
Ara.
Now.
No, no, no, senyora, no vull ballar amb tu, gràcies.
No, no, no, madam, I don't want to dance with you, thank you.
Em fa...
It makes me...
Em falta alcohol, em sap per fi.
I need alcohol, I'm sorry.
Serà?
Will it be?
Hòstia, tio, surts a fumar i entres i hi ha un...
Holy shit, dude, you go out to smoke and you come in and there's a...
No, un món aquí dins, cobert.
No, a world in here, covered.
Jan?
Jan?
Jan, on és...
Jan, where is...
Jan?
John?
Perdona, passo, sí.
Sorry, I'll pass, yes.
Sí, no.
Yes, no.
Sí, a l'altra rastregada.
Yes, to the other sweep.
Gràcies.
Thank you.
Va, justament on volíem.
Come on, just where we wanted.
A la teva.
To yours.
No m'ho puc.
I can't take it.
Jan?
Jan?
Això és la hòstia!
This is the shit!
El Jan està de festa!
Jan is celebrating!
Jan, Jan, Jan?
Jan, Jan, Jan?
Què fots a sobre la tenima sense samarreta?
What are you doing on the mat without a t-shirt?
Amb un tanc a l'eopard o aixequi ara mateix?
With a tank to the leopard or lift it right now?
Posa la samarreta.
Put on the T-shirt.
No m'obligues a pujar.
Don't make me go up.
Jan?
Jan?
Hem de marxar ja, no puc més.
We have to leave now, I can't take it anymore.
Però si això acaba de començar...
But this has just begun...
Jan, escolta, portem un mes i mig...
Jan, listen, we've been at this for a month and a half...
Des que es va aixecar l'estat d'alarma no em sento els peus i crec que estic començant a des...
Since the state of emergency was lifted, I can't feel my feet and I think I'm starting to des...
T'has de provar l'epilèpsia.
You have to try the epilepsy.
Un mes i mig?
A month and a half?
Muta mia.
Shut up, mine.
Marc, hem de marxar.
Marc, we have to leave.
Ajuda'm a baixar, corre!
Help me down, hurry!
Partes.
Parts.
Què fas?
What are you doing?
Tenim una missió.
We have a mission.
Bona nit.
Good night.
Ja sé què està passant aquí.
I know what is happening here.
Quan el Fernando Simón va dir que tot això s'aixecava,
When Fernando Simón said that all of this was lifting,
es va crear un bucle temporal dins les discoteques
A time loop was created inside the nightclubs.
per recuperar tot el temps perdut de tot aquest any i mig, ho entens?
to make up for all the lost time of this past year and a half, do you understand?
M'estàs dient que llavors, quan tu em vas dir d'anar a una discoteca,
Are you telling me that then, when you told me to go to a nightclub,
sabies perfectament que ens quedaríem atrapats aquí?
Did you know perfectly well that we would get stuck here?
Sí.
Yes.
Doncs que volia sortir de festa!
Well, I wanted to go out partying!
Però escolta, com és possible això?
But listen, how is this possible?
Quan el Fernando Simón va dir que tornàvem a la normalitat,
When Fernando Simón said that we were returning to normality,
altre cop a la nova normalitat,
again to the new normality,
es va crear una esquerda en el continu espai temps
A裂纹在连续时空中形成。
i gràcies a les llums astroboscòpiques, a la música alta,
and thanks to the strobe lights, to the loud music,
l'olor de suor i de sexe de dins les discoteques,
the smell of sweat and sex inside the nightclubs,
s'han creat petites màquines del temps, ho entens?
Small time machines have been created, do you understand?
Cada discoteca és una màquina del temps
Every nightclub is a time machine.
que provoca bucles temporals perquè el temps sigui infinit.
that causes time loops so that time is infinite.
M'estàs dient que gràcies a les llums astroboscòpiques,
You're telling me that thanks to the strobe lights,
l'olor de sexe i de les persones i la música alta,
the smell of sex and people and loud music,
s'han creat petites màquines del temps a dins les discoteques
Small time machines have been created inside nightclubs.
creant bucles temporals, xats?
creating time loops, chats?
Sí, Marc, t'estic dient que gràcies a les llums astroboscòpiques,
Yes, Marc, I'm telling you that thanks to the strobe lights,
l'olor de sexe de les persones a dins les discoteques
the smell of sex from people inside nightclubs
juntament amb el missatge del Fernando Simón
together with the message from Fernando Simón
es van crear petites màquines del temps a cada discoteca
Small time machines were created in every nightclub.
que creen bucles temporals, ho entens?
that create time loops, do you understand?
Que fort! Gràcies al missatge del Fernando Simón
How cool! Thanks to Fernando Simón's message.
a les discoteques l'olor de persones, l'olor de suor i l'olor de persones
in the nightclubs the smell of people, the smell of sweat, and the smell of people
també s'hagi creat màquines temporals dels temps
also temporary machines of time have been created
que creen bucles temporals, que fort!
that create time loops, how cool!
Que fort! Que fort! Que fort!
How strong! How strong! How strong!
Te n'adones, Marc, que estem dins d'un bucle temporal?
Do you realize, Marc, that we are in a time loop?
El què?
The what?
Te n'adones, Marc, que estem dins d'un bucle temporal?
Do you realize, Marc, that we are in a time loop?
El què?
The what?
Te n'adones, Marc, que estem dins d'un bucle temporal?
Do you realize, Marc, that we are in a time loop?
El què?
The what?
Oh, prou, prou, sí! Me n'adono.
Oh, enough, enough, yes! I realize it.
I engebre el temps!
I waste time!
Hem de pujar a la tarima i fer un estretis!
We have to get on the platform and do a strut!
Què?
What?
Sí, és l'única forma de trencar els bucles
Yes, it is the only way to break the loops.
que crea la màquina del temps per poder viatjar al passat!
that creates the time machine to be able to travel to the past!
Foderos!
Damn it!
Que merda!
What crap!
Hòstia, ja!
Damn, already!
Vinga, a despullar-nos!
Come on, let's get undressed!
Aquesta part de l'episodi queda censurada
This part of the episode is censored.
per culpa de la política de fred ni pèl de l'Instagram.
Because of the cold policy, not a hair of Instagram.
Buenas noches, estamos aquí para dar el...
Good evening, we are here to give the...
Uou! Ja estem aquí, el dia 9 de maig!
Wow! We are here, on May 9th!
Ara, Marc, agafa aquesta pistola i dispara't de tu!
Now, Marc, take this gun and shoot yourself!
I jo ja em dispararé!
And I'll shoot myself!
Però què?
But what?
Jo, escolta, jo no vull morir!
I, listen, I don't want to die!
No moriràs! Dispara't, vinga!
You won't die! Go ahead and shoot yourself, come on!
...levantar por fin el estado de alarma...
...finally lift the state of emergency...
Buenas noches, estamos aquí para dar el discurso...
Good evening, we are here to give the speech...
Hoy vamos a levantar por fin el estado de alarma...
Today we are finally going to lift the state of alarm...
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Joan, què ha passat?
John, what happened?
Que som les atmelles del Bernando!
We are the almonds of Bernando!
Atmelles Jan i Marc!
Atmelles January and Mark!
Per salvar el món!
To save the world!
Cof, cof! Mierda!
Cough, cough! Shit!
Bueno, ai!
Well, oh!
Joder!
Damn!
Bueno, iba a decir algo, pero se me ha pasado.
Well, I was going to say something, but it slipped my mind.
Bueno, alargamos esto del confinamiento hasta que todo esté más controlado, ¿vale?
Well, we extend this lockdown until everything is more under control, okay?
Es que si no... Bueno, esto, adiós!
It's just that if not... Well, this, goodbye!
Eh... Bé, prou, parem, tècnic, sisplau, para.
Uh... Well, enough, stop, technician, please, stop.
Què ha passat?
What happened?
Què ha passat, Jan?
What happened, Jan?
Marc, un moment, això és seriós.
Marc, hold on a moment, this is serious.
Pare, sisplau, pots parar?
Dad, please, can you stop?
Em pots apagar el micro?
Can you turn off the mic for me?
Li costa, li costa aquest tècnic, no?
It's hard for him, it's hard for this technician, isn't it?
No és igual. Marc, ens acabem d'entrar que hem rebut una amenaça per criticar massa Nova York, Catalunya, la Covid i tot quisquis.
It's not the same. Marc, we just found out that we've received a threat for criticizing New York, Catalonia, Covid, and everyone else.
Però, escolta, escolta...
But, listen, listen...
No, és que això...
No, it's just that this...
No, sí, però l'amenaça...
No, yes, but the threat...
Però l'amenaça d'on ve? Que lliga Nova York amb Catalunya i el Covid?
But where does the threat come from? That links New York with Catalonia and Covid?
És igual, ens hem queixat i hi ha hagut una amenaça.
It doesn't matter, we have complained and there has been a threat.
Ah! El Bernichans!
Ah! The Bernichans!
És que està de moda, està de moda això.
It's in fashion, it's in fashion this.
Sí.
Yes.
Igual que el Pablo aquest, que va rebre...
Just like this Pablo, who received...
Unes bales, doncs nosaltres...
Some bullets, so we...
L'Oriol!
Oriol!
L'Oriol Mitjans! Quin Albert Mitjans!
Oriol Mitjans! What an Albert Mitjans!
L'Oriol Mitjans!
Oriol Mitjans!
I ara diré una cosa, eh?
And now I will say one thing, okay?
Sí.
Yes.
A mi el que més em decep no és que m'amenacin, la veritat.
What disappoints me the most is not that they threaten me, to be honest.
Això no et fa por?
Doesn't that scare you?
No, això no.
No, not that.
A mi el que més em decep és que ja no s'amenacen com abans.
What disappoints me the most is that they no longer threaten each other like before.
Què vols dir?
What do you mean?
Que ara també en quatre bales...
That now also in four bullets...
Sí.
Yes.
I ja tots correm.
And now we all run.
I abans què feien?
And before what did they do?
Bueno, abans d'anar a dormir, aixecaves el llit i sortia el cap mort de la teva mascota, tio.
Well, before going to sleep, you would lift the bed and the dead head of your pet would come out, dude.
O no sé, o rebies una carta...
Oh, I don't know, or you received a letter...
Tio!
Dude!
Per les letres d'una revista, tio, no sé, la gent s'ho currava, tio.
For the letters in a magazine, man, I don’t know, people put in the effort, man.
La gent s'ho currava.
People worked hard at it.
Quan t'havien d'amençar la gent s'ho currava.
When they had to threaten you, people put in the effort.
Hòstia, hòstia, merda, però escolta'm, i ara què hem de fer?
Holy shit, but listen, what do we do now?
Ara hem de ser políticament correctes.
Now we have to be politically correct.
Bueno, suposo que sí.
Well, I suppose so.
Merda, i ara...
Shit, and now...
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Vull dir...
I mean...
Jo no vull que m'amenacin.
I don't want to be threatened.
Ostres, i ara què hem de fer?
Wow, and now what do we have to do?
No vull, Marc.
I don't want to, Marc.
És a dir, ja està.
That is to say, that’s it.
Hem de controlar això.
We need to control this.
Vale.
Okay.
Doncs no apaguis els micros, gràcies.
So do not turn off the microphones, thank you.
Idiota.
Idiot.
Crec que no els havia apagat en tot el rato, Joan.
I don't think I had turned them off the whole time, Joan.
No els havia apagat?
Hadn't I turned them off?
No.
No.
S'ha gravat tot.
Everything has been recorded.
Doncs vale.
Alright then.
Bueno, doncs bé.
Well, then good.
Ara tornem a posar la música.
Now we put the music back on.
Anem a fer això, vale?
Let's do this, okay?
Anem a fer això des del principi i, sisplau, no volem ofendre ningú, d'acord?
Let's do this from the beginning and, please, we don't want to offend anyone, okay?
És l'objectiu.
It is the objective.
No volem rebre més amenaces cutres de gent que no s'ha amenaçat.
We do not want to receive any more petty threats from people who have not been threatened.
Escolta'm.
Listen to me.
Estàs com dient, eh, escolteu, no volem amenaçar ningú.
You're like saying, hey, listen, we don't want to threaten anyone.
Ho estàs com imposant, no?
You're acting quite imposing, aren't you?
Ho estic imposant perquè si no ho fan els amenaçaré jo.
I am imposing it because if they don't, I will threaten them.
I jo, i en tinc jo que soc creatiu.
And I, I have to say that I am creative.
Bueno, escolta'm.
Well, listen to me.
Va, entrem en antena.
Come on, let's go live.
Quan vulguis, tècnic, música.
Whenever you want, technician, music.
Tres, dos, un, acció.
Three, two, one, action.
Molt bé.
Very good.
Vale.
Okay.
Seriosos.
Serious.
Anem a criticar alguna cosa, no?
Let's criticize something, shall we?
Perdó.
Sorry.
És així.
It is so.
Anem a criticar alguna cosa.
Let's criticize something.
Vale.
Okay.
Constructivament.
Constructively.
Constructivament, eh?
Constructively, huh?
És a dir, anem a veure com estan formades les coses des d'una banda sana, respectuosa
That is to say, let's see how things are formed from a healthy, respectful side.
i beneficiosa.
and beneficial.
Sí.
Yes.
Patinets.
Scooters.
Patinets elèctrics.
Electric scooters.
Ui, com t'aixen.
Oh, how they come out to you.
Com t'a...
How are you...
Què has dit?
What did you say?
No he dit res.
I haven't said anything.
O sigui, els patinets elèctrics són un objecte, un artefacte, un instrument que aparentment
In other words, electric scooters are an object, a device, an instrument that apparently
t'ha de solucionar la vida.
It has to solve your life.
Sí.
Yes.
Però molesta.
But it annoys.
No, però no en el sentit de molestar, eh, Jan?
No, but not in the sense of bothering, okay, Jan?
No, volem dir això.
No, we mean this.
Volem dir que el no estar establert si ha de passar pel carril bici, per el pas de bicicleta,
We mean to say that not being established if it should go through the bike lane, through the bike crossing.
per el pas de vianants o per els carrils dels vehicles normals, genera certa confusió.
The pedestrian crossing or the lanes for normal vehicles creates some confusion.
Tant és el favor de parlar bé.
It doesn't matter the favor of speaking well.
Confusió.
Confusion.
Molt bé.
Very well.
Confusió.
Confusion.
El que genera confusió també és que tampoc acaba de triar un col·lectiu social.
What generates confusion is that it also doesn't fully choose a social group.
És a dir, per on anem?
That is to say, where are we going?
Què vols dir?
What do you mean?
Els pijos de Sarrià que...
The posh people of Sarrià who...
Pijos en el sentit d'adinerats, gràcies a una gran saga de famílies que s'han pogut
Snobs in the sense of wealthy, thanks to a long lineage of families that have been able to.
permetre, en el bon sentit de permetre, és una cosa perquè...
to allow, in the good sense of allowing, is something because...
No volem ofendre ningú.
We do not want to offend anyone.
No.
No.
Sarrià, eh, un barri on hi ha gent molt maca.
Sarrià, huh, a neighborhood where there are very nice people.
Això.
This.
Amb patinet.
With scooter.
Molt maca amb patinet.
Very nice with a scooter.
I amb moltes joies.
And with many jewels.
Total, aquesta gent, és a dir, o bé tries ser, diguem-ne, l'artefacte útil i predilecte
In total, these people, that is, either you choose to be, let's say, the useful and favorite artifact.
dels pijos de Sarrià, de la gent adinerada aquesta que acabes d'explicar, sí, o de la
of the posh people from Sarrià, of this wealthy people that you've just described, yes, or of the
gang de gent de 14 anys que l'utilitzen amb tuneos i coses rares.
a gang of 14-year-olds who use it with mods and weird stuff.
Bueno, i quan diguem gang, ens referim al...
Well, when we say gang, we refer to the...
Grup d'amics sense voler ofendre el col·lectiu de joves de 14 anys.
Group of friends who do not wish to offend the group of 14-year-olds.
Efectivament, grup d'amics perquè som socials, tenim molts amics i gràcies als amics som millors
Indeed, a group of friends because we are social, we have many friends and thanks to friends we are better.
persones.
people.
I quan parlem de col·lectius socials no distingim entre classes.
And when we talk about social collectives, we do not distinguish between classes.
Ningú.
Nobody.
Arregla-ho.
Fix it.
No.
No.
Són grups que...
They are groups that...
Vés a la merda, Marc, hòstia.
Fuck off, Marc, damn it.
A la merda.
To hell.
A la merda molesten molt i a més a més...
To hell, they annoy a lot and moreover...
El meu sony ja està cansat.
My dream is already tired.
...els utilitzen persones molt diferents i això...
...very different people use them and that...
És una merda.
It's a piece of shit.
...incomoda.
...uncomfortable.
Quan tu vas amb cotxe tens un patinet al costat.
When you drive a car, you have a scooter next to you.
És una merda.
It's a piece of shit.
I s'hauria de provir.
It should be tried.
I has de fer una cosa.
You have to do one thing.
No, sí.
No, yes.
Què?
What?
Digue-ho.
Say it.
Digue-ho, perquè si no ho diré jo.
Say it, because if you don't, I will.
Molt bé.
Very well.
Els patinets ara...
The scooters now...
Sí.
Yes.
Ara han de tenir assegurança, tio.
Now they have to have insurance, dude.
Què dius?
What are you saying?
Ridícul.
Ridiculous.
Ridícul, tio.
Ridiculous, dude.
Simple i cleva
Simple and clever
Molt bé
Very well
I ara de cop un anunci d'una assegurança d'un patinet
And now suddenly an advertisement for a scooter insurance.
Tu juro, ridícul
I swear to you, ridiculous.
La societat està anant a la merda
Society is going to hell.
I som uns pringats
We are a bunch of losers.
Tu sabies que a Amèrica
Did you know that in America
Hi ha una assegurança
There is an insurance.
D'alguna casa d'assegurances
From some insurance company.
Que diu que si t'abdueix un alien
What it says is that if an alien abducts you.
I tu pots demostrar
And you can demonstrate.
Et paga un milió de dòlars
It pays you one million dollars.
Tu ho sabies?
Did you know?
Posats assegurances fictícies
Set up fictitious insurances
La dels patinets cada cop és més real
The one about scooters is becoming more real.
I està passant
And it's happening.
Sort que ho has arreglat
Good that you have fixed it.
Perquè jo crec que rebrem
Because I believe we will receive
20 amenaces mínim
20 minimum threats
És que no m'he pogut aguantar
I just couldn't help myself.
I com no m'he pogut aguantar
And since I couldn't hold myself back
És que la fossa critiquem
It's just that we criticize the pit.
Ja ho sé
I already know.
Anem a escoltar
Let's go listen.
El nostre president
Our president
El nostre president és Fernando Simón
Our president is Fernando Simón.
Ja està, avui s'ha decidit
That's it, today it has been decided.
Bueno, sí, suposo
Well, yes, I suppose.
Doncs vinga
Well then
Endavant
Go ahead
Bueno, bueno, bueno
Well, well, well.
A ver, rapidito
Let's see, quickly.
Como nos gusta
How we like it.
Ya os podéis mover por Cataluña
You can now move around Catalonia.
Esto es una cosa muy buena
This is a very good thing.
Además
Additionally
Hemos ya hecho que
We have already made it so that
Podéis juntaros con 6 personas
You can gather with 6 people.
Y sin burbuja
And without a bubble.
Eso de las burbujas yo no entiendo tampoco
I don't understand that about the bubbles either.
Bueno, que eso
Well, that's it.
Pues que sin burbuja, ostras
Well, without a bubble, oysters.
Y también los bares
And also the bars.
Pues que están
Well, they are.
Abiertos hasta las 5 de la tarde ahora ya
Open until 5 in the afternoon now already.
Ya lo sé, ya lo sé
I know already, I know already.
Esto os da igual
This doesn't matter to you.
Os importa una mierda
You don't care at all.
Porque lo que vosotros pensáis
Because what you think
Es ya pues
It is already then.
En que levantemos
In what we lift
El estado de alarma
The state of alarm
Que alarguemos todo hasta las 11
Let's extend everything until 11.
Y venga todos de cuerga
And come on everyone, let's party.
Pues, escúchame una cosa
Well, listen to me something.
Juventud, divino tesoro
Youth, divine treasure
Vigila, cuidado
Watch out, be careful.
Porque nos gusta mucho tocar los huevos
Because we really enjoy messing around.
Y puede que
And perhaps
Hagamos un día
Let's make a day.
Pues nos inventemos otra cosa
Well, let's come up with something else.
Y alargamos esto
And we extend this.
¿A qué? ¿Qué parece?
To what? What does it seem?
Pues lo vamos a hacer
Well, we're going to do it.
Os jodéis
You’re screwed.
Hasta aquí la fosa
Up to here the pit.
Y como siempre digo
And as I always say
Pues viva España
Well, long live Spain.
Acaba la puta
Finish the whore.
Está a punto de terminar
It's about to finish.
Y viva el rey
And long live the king!
Acaba el rei
The king ends.
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