Relacions amoroses i el Tinder

Nur i Estel

La cuca del tassó

Avui, bàsicament, només volíem parlar del tema de relacions tòxiques,

Today, basically, we just wanted to talk about the topic of toxic relationships.

moroses en general, les nostres experiències de vida,

moody in general, our life experiences,

sexualitat, tot això bàsicament perquè tenim prou experiència en el tema

sexuality, basically all of this because we have enough experience on the subject

per parlar d'això i és un tema interessant.

to talk about this and it is an interesting topic.

Sí, i és bàsicament també per desfogar-nos, no?,

Yes, and it's basically also to vent, right?

en el sentit de, mira, hem passat molt, necessitem comentar-ho també,

In the sense of, look, we've been through a lot, we need to talk about it too.

tenim molt males experiències, també tenim, no sé,

we have very bad experiences, we also have, I don't know,

bones experiències, no?, experiències mitjanes,

good experiences, right?, mediocre experiences,

i, bueno, opinions vàries.

And, well, various opinions.

Jo crec que de tot això es pot aprendre, saps?

I believe that we can learn from all of this, you know?

Qualsevol persona que pugui estudiar es pot fer una idea de...

Anyone who can study can get an idea of...

Sí, sentir-se identificat, això de, almenys, el més entusiasmat, saps?

Yes, feeling identified, this thing of, at least, the most enthusiastic, you know?

Exacte, i no sé, saber una mica més d'aquest món de mi, no ho sé.

Exactly, and I don't know, to know a little more about this world of mine, I don't know.

Per dir-ho d'una forma pessimista, doncs, sí.

To say it in a pessimistic way, then, yes.

Crec que el David m'ha bloquejat.

I think David has blocked me.

El David t'ha bloquejat?

Has David blocked you?

Sí.

Yes.

Era de l'esperar, realment.

It was to be expected, really.

O sigui, és que, aviam,

So, it's that, let's see,

jo ho vaig deixar clar, d'acord?, des d'un inici.

I made it clear, okay?, from the very beginning.

Mira, ara tu i jo estem parlant diàriament, no?,

Look, now you and I are talking daily, right?

o sigui, i em sembla perfecte, m'agrada parlar amb tu,

that is to say, and I think it's perfect, I like talking to you,

però és molt raro que jo vulgui parlar amb algú.

but it is very rare that I want to talk to anyone.

Amb tu no parlo mai per WhatsApp.

I never talk to you on WhatsApp.

Exactament.

Exactly.

Si dic alguna cosa, dic per el grup, i són quatre xerrades del Palma.

If I say something, I say it for the group, and it's four talks from Palma.

Voleixo, tinc un trajecte de tren, digueu-me quatre merdes,

I want, I have a train journey, tell me four nonsense.

per estar entretinguda quatre minuts, no?

to be entertained for four minutes, right?

Però no és això d'explicar-me la teva vida per WhatsApp, m'entens?

But it's not about explaining your life to me on WhatsApp, you understand?

Sí.

Yes.

O sigui, si jo vull que algú m'expliqui,

That is, if I want someone to explain to me,

la seva puta vida, doncs aleshores quedarem amb aquella persona

his fucking life, so then we'll meet with that person

perquè me l'expliqui, bàsicament, vaig, digo.

so that he explains it to me, basically, I go, I say.

Vale, jo li vaig dir, vale, o sigui, puta mare,

Okay, I told him, okay, I mean, damn it,

estem parlant diàriament, 24-7, cap problema,

we are talking daily, 24-7, no problem,

però també et dic, és molt raro amb mi

but I also tell you, it is very rare with me

que jo estigui parlant tan sovint amb algú.

that I am talking so often with someone.

I li vaig repetir moltes vegades, saps?

And I repeated it to him many times, you know?

Però com que ell no s'ho prevenia en sèrio, potser em van dir,

But since he didn't take it seriously, maybe they told me,

bueno, mira, soc diferent, soc especial, no?

Well, look, I'm different, I'm special, right?

A mi és diferent la cosa.

For me, it's different.

No, no és diferent amb tu la cosa, el que passa que, no sé,

No, it's not different with you, it's just that, I don't know,

estava en una etapa en la que estava molt activa el WhatsApp.

I was in a phase where WhatsApp was very active.

Vale, què passa? Deixo d'estar activa el WhatsApp

Okay, what's happening? I'm turning off WhatsApp.

i ja vas veure els pollos que m'ha muntat, o sigui...

And you already saw the mess he created for me, I mean...

Sí, sí, sí.

Yes, yes, yes.

No ho sé, tio, o sigui, no entenc, bàsicament.

I don't know, man, I mean, I don't understand, basically.

Igual que, és que no sé,

Just like, I don't know,

jo estava molt contenta perquè a mi ja havia sigut totalment clara,

I was very happy because I had already been completely clear with myself.

saps? Perquè m'he proposat

You know? Because I have proposed to myself

ser clara i específica amb el que busco i el que vull,

be clear and specific about what I am looking for and what I want,

perquè si no sempre hi ha malentesos,

because if not, there are always misunderstandings,

i jo m'he vist moltes vegades amb això, no?

And I have seen myself many times in this, haven't I?

De cap dels dos, d'igual que estàs buscant la relació

Neither of you, just like you are looking for the relationship.

i després et trobes amb qui...

and then you meet with someone...

aneu per camins completament diferents.

you go through completely different paths.

Això és una part molt important.

This is a very important part.

Exacte.

Exactly.

Després de tot el que jo he viscut,

After all that I have experienced,

una cosa que ara sempre busco és això,

One thing that I always look for now is this,

en plan, que la gent no vagi directament a

like, so that people don't go directly to

m'agrades, t'agrado, tenim una relació,

I like you, you like me, we have a relationship.

sinó, en plan, coneixem-nos bé,

but, like, let's get to know each other well,

deixem clar el que busquem i el que volem,

let's make clear what we are looking for and what we want,

perquè una relació és molt sobre la comunicació d'un amb l'altre.

because a relationship is largely about the communication between one another.

I em sembla que hi ha molta gent que s'ho veu,

It seems to me that there are a lot of people who see it.

que s'oblida d'això,

that forgets about this,

quan realment és la cosa més important que hi ha.

when it is really the most important thing there is.

Exacte.

Exactly.

I que cada persona té una concepció diferent del que és una relació.

And each person has a different conception of what a relationship is.

M'enténs?

Do you understand me?

En el sentit de, per mi una relació, per exemple,

In the sense of, for me a relationship, for example,

es basa en la llibertat, la comunicació i la confiança.

It is based on freedom, communication, and trust.

I jo necessito que em deixin molt d'espai,

And I need them to give me a lot of space,

perquè sóc una persona molt individualista.

because I am a very individualistic person.

I ho sento.

I'm sorry.

O sigui, m'agrada la companyia, però també gaudeixo molt del temps sola.

So, I enjoy company, but I also really enjoy my time alone.

Aleshores, necessito una persona que entengui aquest espai,

So, I need a person who understands this space,

que el respecti.

that he respects it.

A part de...

Apart from...

Crec que...

I think that...

No crec en la monogàmia.

I don't believe in monogamy.

Aleshores, també necessito una persona

Then, I also need a person.

que tingui la mateixa ideologia que jo

that has the same ideology as me

i els mateixos pensaments que jo.

and the same thoughts as me.

I això s'ha d'aclarir.

And this needs to be clarified.

O sigui, abans de començar qualsevol cosa.

That is, before starting anything.

Perquè si no, després arriben els malentesos.

Because if not, misunderstandings arise later.

Precisament per això,

Precisely for that reason,

crec que és una de les raons per les que m'he donat més compte, no?

I think it's one of the reasons I've become more aware, right?

De que la comunicació és realment tan important.

That communication is really so important.

Perquè quan la teva sexualitat no és lo normal,

Because when your sexuality is not the norm,

lo estan, diguem,

they are, let's say,

tens més dificultat, no?

You have more difficulty, right?

Perquè has d'aclarir amb la gent molt més el que tu vols

Because you need to clarify much more with people what you want.

i el que sents.

and what you feel.

I has de fer que la gent ho entengui.

You have to make people understand it.

Sí.

Yes.

I, bueno, com a mínim això, no?

Well, at least this, right?

T'ajuda a saber que...

It helps you to know that...

La importància que té això de parlar les coses.

The importance of discussing things.

Però no sé, crec que costa bastant també

But I don't know, I think it also costs quite a bit.

trobar gent que ho entengui de veritat.

find people who truly understand it.

I és això el que va passar amb en David,

And this is what happened with David,

que no entenia les coses.

that I didn't understand things.

És que és això, mira, espera.

It's just that, look, wait.

Tornant al fil conductor,

Returning to the main theme,

jo amb en David vaig ser molt clara i específica.

I was very clear and specific with David.

I semblava que ell pensava igual que jo.

It seemed to me that he thought the same way I did.

O sigui, jo li vaig dir, mira,

So, I told him, look,

jo ara mateix em sento preparada per tenir una relació romàntica.

I am currently feeling ready to have a romantic relationship.

O sigui, perquè bàsicament no sé què vull.

So, basically, I don't know what I want.

No sé si sóc poliamorosa,

I don't know if I am polyamorous,

no sé si simplement no puc estar en una relació monògama

I don't know if I simply can't be in a monogamous relationship.

però en una relació tancada i oberta, sí.

but in a closed and open relationship, yes.

O, bàsicament,

Oh, basically,

sóc capaç d'enamorar-me de diverses persones al mateix temps.

I am capable of falling in love with several people at the same time.

No ho sé.

I don't know.

I tinc un cacao mental.

I have a mental mess.

I potser també és pericar el compromís,

And perhaps it's also to jeopardize the commitment,

qui sap, no?

Who knows, right?

Aleshores, jo ara mateix no puc tenir una relació sentimental.

So, I can't have a romantic relationship right now.

El que sí que puc és ser la teva amiga

What I can do is be your friend.

i, ja que ens atraiem, doncs,

and, since we were attracted to each other, then,

també ens enrotllem, no?

we also mess around, right?

I...

I això.

And this.

Aleshores, clar, jo li vaig ser molt sencera

So, of course, I was very honest with him.

i ella em va dir que sentia exactament el mateix

And she told me that she felt exactly the same.

i que ell també tenia peric al compromís.

And that he also had Peric at the commitment.

Què passa? Que jo després vaig descobrir

What’s happening? That I later found out.

que no tenia peric al compromís.

that I didn't have peric for the commitment.

Simplement és cristià i sap perfectament

He is simply Christian and knows perfectly well.

que en la societat en la qual vivim actualment

that in the society in which we currently live

és molt difícil trobar una dona que també sigui cristiana

It is very difficult to find a woman who is also a Christian.

i que esperi fins al matrimoni per mantenir relacions sexuals.

And I should wait until marriage to have sexual relations.

Sí.

Yes.

D'acord?

Okay?

I amb això no va ser sincer.

And with that, he was not sincere.

O sigui, simplement crec que volia agradar-me.

So, I simply think that he/she wanted to please me.

I que ja m'agradava.

And I already liked it.

M'hagués dit el que m'hagués dit.

He could have told me whatever he wanted.

I jo com vaig saber que ella era cristià, doncs cap problema, tio.

And how did I know that she was Christian? Well, no problem, dude.

O sigui, seguim junts, no follem i ja està.

So, we stay together, we don't have sex and that's it.

O sigui, no passa res perquè jo follo amb altra gent.

That is, it doesn’t matter if I sleep with other people.

Però clar, en el moment en el que veu

But of course, at the moment when he sees

que potser em distancio una mica més

that maybe I distance myself a little more

o que passo més, ja és un escàndol.

or what happened more, it is already a scandal.

Quan realment, ostres, no ho sé, tio.

When really, wow, I don't know, man.

O sigui, estic amb altra gent.

So, I'm with other people.

És que estic amb altra gent.

I am with other people.

I ja no em ve de gust parlar, però sí que em ve de gust veure.

And I no longer feel like talking, but I do feel like seeing.

D'una cosa no té a veure amb l'altra.

One thing has nothing to do with the other.

I em va muntar un pollo de la hòstia, tio.

He made a huge fuss over it, man.

És això, saps?

It is this, you know?

Hi ha gent que simplement a vegades no vol entendre.

There are people who simply sometimes do not want to understand.

I, no sé, has de posar una part teva.

I don't know, you have to put a part of yourself in.

Si vols que relacions que tens amb la gent funcionin.

If you want the relationships you have with people to work.

Hi ha ni tan sols relació romàntica,

There is not even a romantic relationship,

sinó relació d'amistat, també.

but also a friendship relationship.

Sí.

Yes.

I és com aquest, en David,

And it is like this, David,

no sabia fer les coses bé,

I didn't know how to do things well,

perquè t'has d'explotar.

because you have to exploit yourself.

T'has d'explicar amb sinceritat.

You need to explain yourself honestly.

Això és una altra cosa que busco moltíssim en la gent.

This is another thing that I look for a lot in people.

Perquè, no sé, la sinceritat és una cosa tan normal, no?

Because, I don't know, sincerity is such a normal thing, right?

I sembla que és tan difícil de trobar-ho al mateix temps.

And it seems that it is so difficult to find it at the same time.

I és una mica una putada, no?

It's a bit of a bummer, isn't it?

Perquè és com...

Because it’s like...

Com passes això de costat

How do you get through this sideways?

per agradar-li a una persona més o menys?

To please someone more or less?

A mi em sembla que,

I think that,

en haver-nos criat amb uns paràmetres molt estalvers, no?

Having been raised with very frugal parameters, right?

Molt definits,

Very defined,

en el moment en què potser no volem

at the moment when perhaps we don't want to

el que aquests paràmetres ens imposen,

what these parameters impose on us,

ens veiem amb l'obligació de mentir

we find ourselves with the obligation to lie

perquè creiem que l'altra persona també

because we believe that the other person does too

busca aquests paràmetres en comptes de ser sincera i dir

look for these parameters instead of being honest and saying

mira, escolta, doncs això no va amb mi,

look, listen, well this doesn't suit me,

jo busco això, això i això.

I am looking for this, this, and this.

O sigui, tants punts, no?

So, that’s a lot of points, right?

En una relació, mira, no ho veus a sèrio, no?

In a relationship, look, you don't see it seriously, do you?

No ho sé.

I don't know.

La veritat és que no en tinc ni idea, però realment, o sigui,

The truth is that I have no idea, but really, I mean,

la veritat és que...

the truth is that...

Jo el que crec és que,

What I believe is that,

més que res, és aquesta por

more than anything, it is this fear

a que et rejectin, saps?

to be rejected, you know?

Perquè...

Because...

Rebuig.

Rejection.

Rebuig, exacte.

Rejection, exactly.

Perquè, vull dir, jo, amb la meva situació, soc asexual.

Because, I mean, with my situation, I am asexual.

I costa molt, en plan,

It costs a lot, like,

conèixer gent nova i dir-los que soc asexual.

meet new people and tell them that I am asexual.

I intentar pensar que

I try to think that

no acabaré rebutjada per això.

I will not end up rejected for this.

Clar.

Sure.

Però jo prioritzo la sinceritat

But I prioritize honesty.

i perquè, més que res,

and because, more than anything,

si no ets sincera,

if you are not sincere,

entres en una relació en la que

you enter into a relationship in which

al final no busqueu el mateix

in the end, you are not looking for the same thing

i acabareu xocant tard o d'hora.

And you will end up colliding sooner or later.

És com...

It's like...

Fes bé les coses al principi

Do things right from the start.

i acabarà bé, saps? Però...

And it will end well, you know? But...

Però precisament per això has de ser honest.

But precisely for that you have to be honest.

Però el mateix temps és una merda

But at the same time, it's crap.

en el sentit de, per exemple, tots asexuals,

in the sense of, for example, all asexuals,

jo no sé què soc.

I don't know what I am.

Però ser clar en això és molt difícil

But being clear on this is very difficult.

en el sentit de, estic coneixent algú que m'aprova.

In the sense of, I am getting to know someone who approves of me.

Algú amb qui jo potser tindria una relació a llarg plaç.

Someone with whom I might have a long-term relationship.

Però sé que si li dic la meva convicció, em rebutjarà.

But I know that if I tell him my conviction, he will reject me.

Estàs perdent una oportunitat per la teva forma de ser.

You are losing an opportunity because of your personality.

I això és una merda.

And this is a load of crap.

I això realment et crea molt de complexa.

And this really creates a lot of complexity for you.

Ho sé perfectament, vull dir,

I know perfectly well, I mean,

jo em sento així cada vegada que intento, en plan,

I feel this way every time I try, like,

fer un pas per sortir amb algú.

take a step to go out with someone.

Però, a veure, jo penso,

But, let's see, I think,

vull estar en una relació de veritat

I want to be in a real relationship.

on m'estimin tant com jo estimo una altra persona.

where they love me as much as I love another person.

Si aquella persona no m'ha pogut acceptar tal com soc,

If that person hasn't been able to accept me as I am,

doncs molt bé, ens quedem, siguem amics i ja està.

Well then, let's stay friends and that's it.

Però realment, si m'han de rebutjar per això,

But really, if I must be rejected for that,

no val la pena.

it's not worth it.

Jo he fet la meva part, he sigut honesta,

I have done my part, I have been honest,

he mantingut la conversa que s'ha de tenir amb ells

I have had the conversation that needs to be had with them.

i ja està.

And that's it.

No, sí, sí, sí.

No, yes, yes, yes.

A mi em segueix costant tot i així.

It still costs me a lot despite that.

A més que, a part,

Furthermore, apart from that,

sento que potser fins que no tingui una relació

I feel that maybe until I have a relationship.

de tipus A a tipus B o tipus C,

from type A to type B or type C,

no sabré què és el que em passa exactament.

I won't know exactly what is happening to me.

Probablement.

Probably.

Vull dir, una part important això de les relacions és

I mean, an important part of this relationship is

provar, no?, i veure com funcionen les coses.

Try, right?, and see how things work.

Vull dir, jo, si no fos per les relacions que he tingut abans,

I mean, I would, if it weren't for the relationships I've had before,

ara mateix no t'estaria parlant d'això,

right now I wouldn't be talking to you about this,

no entendria res del que està passant.

I wouldn't understand anything of what is happening.

És l'experiència que et fa créixer.

It is the experience that makes you grow.

No, sí, sí.

No, yes, yes.

Tinc clar què passa

I know clearly what is happening.

i és que jo, almenys,

and it's that I, at least,

en una relació estàndard monògama amb un home,

in a standard monogamous relationship with a man,

hi ha alguna cosa que no funciona.

There is something that doesn't work.

Tinc ataques d'ansietat, m'agobio

I have anxiety attacks, I feel overwhelmed.

i al final em bloquejo i deixo la persona.

And in the end, I shut down and leave the person.

I no sé per què em passa això,

I don't know why this is happening to me,

perquè a mi al principi això no em passava.

because this didn't happen to me at first.

També s'ha de dir que, en un inici,

It should also be said that, initially,

eren els nois els que em trencaven el cor a mi,

it was the boys who were breaking my heart.

entre moltes cometes, no?

"Between many quotes, right?"

Però sí que, després, sóc jo la que té, a més,

But yes, later I am the one who has, additionally,

aquesta sensació d'agobio.

this feeling of overwhelm.

Ho vaig estar parlant l'altre dia amb una amiga meva,

I was talking about it the other day with a friend of mine,

amb l'Euna Mei,

with Euna Mei,

i em va dir que, potser,

and he told me that, maybe,

el fet de jo no haver tingut relacions molt duraderes,

the fact that I have not had very lasting relationships,

que m'haguessin deixat tantes vegades,

that they had left me so many times,

fa que a mi m'agobi la sensació de sentir

it makes me feel overwhelmed by the sensation of feeling

que he d'estar molt de temps amb aquella persona,

that I have to spend a lot of time with that person,

perquè sempre m'han deixat al cap de poc temps.

because they have always left me after a short time.

Com que he sigut jo la rebutjada,

Since I have been the rejected one,

i al veure que algú no em rebutja

and seeing that someone does not reject me

i que és una relació que sembla que serà a llarg plaç,

and it is a relationship that seems to be long-term,

això potser em crea una sensació d'agobi.

This may create a feeling of overwhelm for me.

No ho sé.

I don't know.

Home, crec que, en certa part,

I believe that, to some extent,

podria ser probable que, en plan,

it could be probable that, in a way,

dintre teu estiguis com esperant aquell moment del rebuig,

within you, you are like waiting for that moment of rejection,

i això et creï l'ansietat aquesta.

and this creates that anxiety for you.

Però és el que hem parlat abans,

But it's what we talked about before,

que hi ha, realment, tantes variants,

that there are, really, so many variants,

tantes probabilitats,

so many probabilities,

que podrien causar coses així.

that could cause things like this.

Que mai realment ho saps, no?

You never really know, do you?

És un tema molt complicat.

It is a very complicated topic.

Ja.

Yes.

No sé.

I don't know.

No sé, per exemple, amb el Salva,

I don't know, for example, with Salva,

jo recordo, ens estàvem coneixent,

I remember, we were getting to know each other,

jo estava molt il·lusionada,

I was very excited,

o sigui, només et parlava del Salva.

That is to say, I was only talking to you about Salva.

I, bueno, jo anava,

Well, I was going,

jo seguia estant amb altra gent,

I continued being with other people,

però per qui tenia sentiments era pel Salva.

but for whom she had feelings was for Salva.

I després,

And then,

vaig ser jo qui va decidir tancar la relació.

I was the one who decided to end the relationship.

O sigui, jo li vaig posar els punts sobre les llistes,

In other words, I put the dots on the i's for him.

li vaig dir, mira, escolta,

I said to him, look, listen,

a mi m'agrada, jo m'estic enamorant de tu.

I like you, I am falling in love with you.

Bueno, jo en aquell moment creia estar enamorada d'ell, no?

Well, at that moment I thought I was in love with him, right?

I m'agradaria tancar la relació.

I would like to end the relationship.

I em va dir que ell també buscava això,

He told me that he was also looking for this.

que ell també estava enamorat de mi,

that he was also in love with me,

i que, doncs, també volia tancar la relació

And what, then, did I also want to end the relationship?

i que, doncs, estiguéssim junts, no?

So, we should be together, right?

I fos una relació monògama tancada.

It was a closed monogamous relationship.

I, bueno, els primers mesos, bé, no?

I, well, the first months, good, right?

Com a relació monògama tancada.

As a closed monogamous relationship.

I, no sé, de març a agost, bé.

I don't know, from March to August, well.

I a l'agost va començar a ballar tot.

And in August, everything started to dance.

Bueno, el juliol.

Well, in July.

I allà vaig començar...

And there I began...

O sigui, sento que el meu cos com que expressa la seva incomoditat

So, I feel that my body somehow expresses its discomfort.

i quan em passa això d'aquesta sensació d'opressió, no?,

And when this feeling of oppression happens to me, right?

la relació, sóc incapaç de mantenir relacions sexuals.

the relationship, I am unable to maintain sexual relationships.

I si les mantinc és bàsicament per pressió social, no?

And if I keep them, it's basically due to social pressure, isn't it?

Per pressió d'aquella persona, sigui directa o indirecta.

Due to the pressure from that person, whether direct or indirect.

I, bueno, al final vaig deixar-lo

Well, in the end I left him.

i jo pensava, mal que han fet un cacao, no?

And I thought, it's a shame they made a mess, right?

Però...

But...

Són coses complicades, no?

They're complicated things, aren't they?

És que és una mica un tema bastant putut.

It's just that it's a bit of a messed up topic.

Una cosa que, clar, jo com a així persona normal...

One thing that, of course, I as a normal person...

Jo no he experimentat res així.

I have not experienced anything like that.

És...

It is...

És un tema que ja se m'escapa.

It's a topic that is beyond my grasp now.

I, no sé, és molt difícil, no?,

I don't know, it's very difficult, isn't it?

entendre com funciona.

understand how it works.

I entendre el funcionament del teu propi servei.

"And understand the functioning of your own service."

I més sense l'ajuda d'un psicòleg.

And even more so without the help of a psychologist.

Però, ja, sincerament, no ens ho podem permetre.

But, honestly, we can't afford it.

No he tingut bones experiències amb psicòlegs gratuïts.

I haven't had good experiences with free psychologists.

Aleshores, clar, prefereixo psicoanalitzar-me a mi mateixa

So, of course, I prefer to psychoanalyze myself.

i ja, doncs, bueno, no descobrir qui sóc, no?

And so, well, not discovering who I am, right?

Exacte.

Exactly.

Vull dir, al final tu també has de ser com...

I mean, in the end you also have to be like...

Qui es coneix millor.

Who knows themselves better.

Sí.

Yes.

No sé, tio, és una merda, realment, en la sentit de...

I don't know, dude, it really sucks, in the sense of...

Vaig perdudíssima.

I'm completely lost.

I al mateix temps és això, aquesta sensació de...

And at the same time, it is this, this feeling of...

Vale, o sigui, m'agradaria tenir una relació,

Okay, so I would like to have a relationship.

m'encantaria enamorar-me, però sé que...

I would love to fall in love, but I know that...

O sigui, quan tu estàs preparat i quan tu vols, no ho trobes.

So, when you are ready and when you want it, you don't find it.

No ho trobes com menys tu esperes.

You don't find it as less than you expect.

Sempre.

Always.

I aleshores, també, ara que estic en aquest moment de...

And then, also, now that I am in this moment of...

Joder, o sigui, em ve molt de gust estar amb una persona, no?

Damn, I mean, I really want to be with someone, right?

I estar enamorada, però al mateix temps és com...

I'm in love, but at the same time it's like...

Tio, no sé, no apareixerà perquè ho vull.

Dude, I don't know, it won't appear just because I want it to.

No sé, tinc com aquesta inseguretat, també, no?

I don't know, I have this insecurity, too, right?

Com aquesta veueta.

With this little voice.

Això crec que li deu passar a tothom.

I think this must happen to everyone.

Vull dir, a mi més del mateix, eh?

I mean, I'm more of the same, right?

Crec que...

I believe that...

Entrem en el tema de Tinder.

Let's get into the topic of Tinder.

Tots els cops que he tingut Tinder

All the times I've had Tinder

per intentar buscar gent, realment,

to try to find people, really,

no m'ha servit de res.

it has been of no use to me.

I ha sigut una mica una pèrdua de temps.

It has been a bit of a waste of time.

Bueno, vaig conèixer gent amb la qual poder ser amics,

Well, I met people with whom I can be friends,

una mica...

a little...

Tampoc amb gaire èxit, la veritat.

Not with much success, to be honest.

Però és allò de buscar-ho i no trobar res,

But it's that thing of looking for it and not finding anything,

i després treure'm Tinder

and then take off Tinder

i començar a conèixer la gent que hi ha al meu voltant, no?

And start getting to know the people around me, right?

Sí.

Yes.

Aviam, també, o sigui, tant tu com la Maria, eh?

Let's see, so, both you and Maria, right?

Tu crec que sou excessivament exigents amb la gent de Tinder.

I think you are excessively demanding with people on Tinder.

Sí. Però, clar...

Yes. But, of course...

Aquí és on ve un altre cop

Here is where it comes again.

el tema de la sexualitat i tot això.

the topic of sexuality and all that.

Tinder és una plataforma molt sexual.

Tinder is a very sexual platform.

Miris però no miris, la gent va a buscar el que va.

Look but don’t look, people go to seek what they find.

I jo soc una persona molt més tancada,

And I am a much more closed person,

que em costa conèixer la gent,

that it is difficult for me to get to know people,

sobretot quan no és cara a cara, no?

especially when it's not face to face, right?

Perquè, vulguis o no,

Because, whether you like it or not,

quan és cara a cara, ja tens la persona davant i ja...

when it's face to face, you already have the person in front of you and already...

Saps? T'has de tirar.

You know? You have to jump.

T'has de treure aquesta por.

You need to get rid of this fear.

Però a través de text és com...

But through text is how...

Sí.

Yes.

Ho trobo més complicat.

I find it more complicated.

I és més fred, costa més conèixer la persona,

And it's colder, it's harder to get to know the person,

es fa més tadiós, també...

It gets more goodbye, too...

És un rotllo molt diferent.

It's a very different vibe.

Jo també per això, sempre que parlo amb algú per Tinder

I do too for that reason, whenever I talk to someone on Tinder.

és com, a la mínima, tu, escolta, aquest sempre s'hi quedem.

It's like, at the very least, you, listen, this one always stays with us.

Anem a prendre alguna cosa.

Let's go have something to drink.

Per què? Perquè no m'agrada parlar per aquí.

Why? Because I don't like to talk here.

Perquè el no conèixer la persona es fa molt...

Because not knowing the person makes it very...

molt difícil, no?

Very difficult, isn't it?

En el sentit de no conec les teves expressions,

In the sense that I don't know your expressions,

no estic veient com gesticules, no?

I'm not seeing how you're gesticulating, am I?

El llenguatge no verbal, no?

Non-verbal language, right?

Sí.

Yes.

No percebo en complet tota la informació.

I do not fully perceive all the information.

Que tampoc la percebes amb algú que coneixes,

That you also don't perceive with someone you know,

però menys amb un desconegut, no?

but less with a stranger, right?

Però al mateix temps, tia, o sigui,

But at the same time, you know, aunt, I mean,

jo, per exemple, que sento que potser

I, for example, feel that maybe

soc menys exigent amb la gent,

I am less demanding with people.

sobretot de Tinder,

especially from Tinder,

i també del carrer, ja que hi estem, no?

And also from the street, since we're at it, right?

Jo he tingut molt bones experiències.

I have had very good experiences.

Exactament, clar. Jo crec que és això, no?

Exactly, of course. I think that's it, right?

En plan, tens una mica menys vergonya

In a way, you have a little less shame.

que nosaltres.

that we.

Vas...

You go...

vas més lliurement, no?

You go more freely, don't you?

Jo, en canvi, doncs busco coses diferents

I, on the other hand, am looking for different things.

que la majoria de gent que pots trobar a l'aplicació.

that the majority of people you can find on the application.

Ja.

Yes.

I em costa molt, en plan,

It costs me a lot, like,

jutjar el

judge him

que hi ha, perquè

what there is, because

el que tens a Tinder són

what you have on Tinder are

quatre fotos... Sí, i una biografia.

Four photos... Yes, and a biography.

I una biografia de quatre paraules.

And a biography of four words.

I, clar, al final

I, of course, in the end.

jo acabo llegint-me les biografies

I just finished reading the biographies.

grans i donant matge

large and giving image

amb la gent que veig

with the people I see

que em poden interessar de veritat.

that can really interest me.

Perquè jo per quatre fotos no puc jutjar, saps?

Because I can't judge based on just four photos, you know?

Ja. El que vull és conèixer la persona,

Yes. What I want is to get to know the person,

saber si ens interessem

to know if we are interested

mútuament i saber si

mutually and knowing if

les meves condicions, saps?,

my conditions, you know?

els faran fora o no.

Will they be kicked out or not?

No tinc temps d'anar per Tinder

I don't have time to go on Tinder.

a través de tota la gent que m'obrirà

through all the people who will open up to me

preguntant-me si vull que ens liem

asking me if I want us to get involved

o si volem que anem a follar

or if we want to go have sex

alguna cosa o algo.

something or anything.

Aviam, sí, també... Mira, et poso

Let's see, yes, also... Look, I'll put you.

una pregunta de l'Aleix, no?

a question from Aleix, right?

Jo me'n recordo l'Aleix, el vaig veure,

I remember Aleix, I saw him.

era en un rotllo, era així, rotllo

it was in a vibe, it was like that, vibe

punky, no?, rockerillo,

punky, right?, little rocker,

i...

i me'n recordo la primera conversació

And I remember the first conversation.

que vam tenir ja va ser sobre les formigues,

what we had was already about the ants,

perquè això és com a friqui dels documentals.

because this is like a documentary geek.

I els documentals de formigues em fascinen,

And documentaries about ants fascinate me,

perquè la jerarquia totalitària

because the totalitarian hierarchy

que tenen muntada, o sigui, és maïda

that they have set up, that is, it is corn

de olla, no?, i a mi em fascina

of pot, right?, and I am fascinated by it

i a mon pare també, i jo m'he criat amb això.

and my father too, and I was raised with that.

Aleshores, la primera conversació ja va ser sobre les formigues

So, the first conversation was already about ants.

i després sobre música.

And then about music.

A mi em coincidia molt, teníem estils semblants,

I really connected with him/her, we had similar styles.

li interessava que li parlés de formigues,

he was interested in me talking to him about ants,

que tu no trobaràs a qualsevol persona que li interessi

that you will not find anyone who is interested

que li parlis de putes formigues de merda, no?

That you talk to him about fucking shit ants, right?

I...

el cas és que ens costava molt coincidir i tal, però vam coincidir

The thing is that it was very difficult for us to meet and all, but we did meet.

una vegada, va ser molt màgic,

once, it was very magical,

sí que se'n va haver-hi petó, no?

There was a kiss, right?

I la segona vegada, el que ens vam veure,

And the second time we saw each other,

que va ser uns dies després, ens vam anar de campada.

A few days later, we went camping.

I és una experiència molt màgica, no?

And it's a very magical experience, isn't it?

O sigui, algú que he conegut a una xarxa social

So, someone I've met on a social network.

destinada a conèixer gent, però que al cap i a la fi

intended to meet people, but after all

doncs també té moltes connotacions sexuals,

so it also has many sexual connotations,

doncs anar-te'n de campada

then go away in a huff

i fer plans així, tan divertits, va ser molt màgic.

And making plans like that, so fun, was very magical.

Jo recordo estar a la platja,

I remember being at the beach,

sota la llum de la lluna,

under the light of the moon,

i obrir-nos

and open ourselves

en canal, l'un amb l'altre, no?

In channel, one with the other, right?

O sigui, jo li vaig explicar totes les meves

So, I explained everything to him/her.

bondades personals, ella em va explicar que

personal qualities, she explained to me that

també havia viscut la mort propera d'un mestre estimat,

I had also experienced the near death of a beloved teacher,

no? I els dos plorant, tio.

No? And both of them crying, man.

No? De tota la intensitat del moment.

No? From all the intensity of the moment.

I això amb una persona

And this with a person.

que he conegut per una xarxa social,

that I have met through a social network,

que em sembla molt màgic, realment.

that seems very magical to me, really.

És una connexió que pots desenvolupar,

It's a connection that you can develop,

però si fos potser més exigent,

but if it were perhaps more demanding,

amb un físic, una descripció i tal,

with a physical appearance, a description, and so on,

potser no hauria tingut aquesta...

perhaps I wouldn't have had this...

Doncs és això, no? En plan,

Well, that's it, right? Like,

quan vas utilitzant aquestes aplicacions

when you are using these applications

tens un equilibri entre

you have a balance between

realment el que vols

really what you want

i com

and how

arriscar-te una mica més, no?

take a little more risk, right?

Equivocar-te amb la gent que tries

Getting it wrong with the people you choose.

per trobar aquestes persones.

to find these people.

Però és això, clar.

But it is that, of course.

És un cicle de

It's a cycle of

40 persones que no valen la pena

40 people who are not worth it.

i una que t'interessarà

and one that will interest you

de veritat. Totalment.

Really. Totally.

I és això, t'acaba cremant.

And this is it, it ends up burning you.

I, bueno, per això tardo tan poc

Well, that's why I take so little time.

en desinstal·lar-me al Tinder cada cop que el tinc,

by uninstalling myself from Tinder every time I have it,

perquè és que m'acabo avorrint de conèixer

because I end up getting bored of meeting

gent que no et parla,

people who don't speak to you,

que no et resulta interessant

that is not interesting to you

i tot l'altre. No, sí, sí,

and everything else. No, yes, yes,

si t'entenguis. Jo soc la primera que s'acaba

If you understand me. I am the first one to finish.

d'eliminar la conta, no? Perquè

to delete the account, right? Because

ha arribat un punt que és com, mira,

It has reached a point that it's like, look,

ja no estic cansada d'aquí. Aquesta és una altra també que...

I am no longer tired of this. This is another one too that...

Porto massa temps instal·lant-m'ho

I've been taking too long to install it.

i desinstal·lant-m'ho, instal·lant-m'ho i desinstal·lant-m'ho.

and uninstalling it, installing it and uninstalling it.

Jo m'he proposat estar tot un any sense

I have proposed to be a whole year without.

aquest tipus d'aplicacions.

this type of applications.

Perquè ha arribat un punt que

Because it has reached a point that

ostres, ja estic massa habituada,

Wow, I’m already too accustomed.

no? A aquest aspecte

no? To this aspect

de conèixer gent pels xarxes socials

of meeting people through social networks

i cada vegada conec menys gent cara a cara.

And every time I know fewer people face to face.

Que també era una situació actual, doncs és complicat

That it was also a current situation, as it is complicated.

conèixer algú cara a cara, no? Però...

to meet someone face to face, right? But...

Això de, bueno, doncs

Well, then

a vegades també és necessari

sometimes it is also necessary

un respecte d'aquest tipus d'aplicacions perquè cremen molt,

a respect for this type of applications because they consume a lot,

perquè...

because...

Ostres, no sé, sento que

Wow, I don’t know, I feel that

poden aportar

they can contribute

en certs punts però també et poden restar molt.

At certain points, but they can also take away a lot from you.

I que

And what.

tampoc va bé

it doesn't work either

entrar en un cicle viciós, no?

to enter a vicious cycle, right?

On hi ha una addicció, vas dir,

"There is an addiction, you said,"

caminar, conèixer gent i... Al final és com

walking, meeting people and... In the end, it's like

molt fast food, no? Com

a lot of fast food, right? Like

actualment, com

currently, how

aquesta era tecnològica de

this technological era of

ho vols tot el moment, ho vols tot a l'instant

you want it all right now, you want it all in an instant

i no pots esperar que les coses

and you can't expect things

es coguin per elles mateixes,

they take care of themselves,

no? Això de persones sí, persones no.

No? This of people yes, people no.

En part d'un, en part d'un

Part of one, part of one.

d'altre, en part d'un, en part d'un d'altre.

of another, partly of one, partly of another.

No tinc paciència, no? O sigui, hola, què tal?

I don't have patience, right? I mean, hello, how are you?

Si és algo molt bàsic, ja

If it's something very basic, then.

van al carrer, no? Ja no...

They go to the street, right? Not anymore...

Ja no m'importa, això no m'interessa.

I no longer care, this does not interest me.

És un d'aquests problemes.

It's one of those problems.

No sé, crec que has de tenir

I don't know, I think you have to have.

molta paciència per estar tindre't.

a lot of patience to have you.

Sí. Però també, en plan,

Yes. But also, like,

donar-te un respir quan utilitzes aquestes aplicacions

give yourself a break when using these applications

i mirar la gent

and watch the people

del teu voltant, no? En plan, sortir al carrer

Around you, right? Like, going out into the street.

ara tal com estan les coses, doncs

now, as things stand, then

no, però...

no, but...

t'acabes més endavant,

you'll end up later,

no? Perquè,

no? Because,

no sé, està bé tenir aquestes aplicacions,

I don't know, it's good to have these applications,

com ja hem dit, es troben

As we have already said, they are found.

persones interessants de tant en quant,

interesting people from time to time,

però també hi ha gent

but there are also people

interessant al carrer i, a vegades,

interesting on the street and, sometimes,

està bé, en plan, intentar

it's okay, like, try

poder lligar

to be able to tie

trobant-te gent en el tren, per exemple.

meeting people on the train, for example.

Sí.

Yes.

Entramos en ese punto entonces.

We enter that point then.

Claro. Aviam, o sigui,

Sure. Let's see, so,

jo realment,

I really,

no sé, ho trobo molt màgic, no?

I don't know, I find it very magical, don't you?

Jo, des de...

I, since...

això ja pels oients, ja no

this is no longer for the listeners, no longer

és tan conversació, no, però des dels 14

It's such a conversation, isn't it? But since I was 14.

que porto coneixent gent

that I have been meeting people

al tren. I...

to the train. I...

al principi,

at the beginning,

sobretot, justament, abans

above all, precisely, before

d'instal·lar-me, perquè jo vaig

to settle in, because I went

començar amb Adu i després jo vaig ser Tinder, no?

start with Adu and then I was Tinder, right?

Però... jo me'n recordo

But... I remember.

dels 14 als 16, coneixia gent

from 14 to 16, I knew people

cara a cara sempre. Sempre.

Face to face always. Always.

I no era de tant en quant, no.

And it wasn't that much, no.

Cada setmana coneixia una persona diferent.

Every week I met a different person.

Era meravellós. I tens

It was wonderful. And you have.

aquelles papallones a l'estómac, no?

those butterflies in the stomach, right?

Aquell nerviosisme,

That nervousness,

aquella primera cita amb més incertidumbre,

that first date with more uncertainty,

no? Perquè no has parlat res amb aquella persona.

No? Because you haven't talked at all with that person.

I és molt més màgic. I...

And it's much more magical. And...

Ostres, o sigui, jo realment és

Wow, so I really am

algú que m'encanta i que m'encanta

someone that I love and that I love

viure i ho trobo molt especial, no?

to live and I find it very special, right?

I em fa gràcia al mateix temps conèixer tanta

It makes me laugh at the same time to know so much.

gent al tren, no? Curiosament. És com el meu

People on the train, right? Curiously. It's like mine.

Tinder personal, Tinder cara a cara.

Tinder personal, Tinder face to face.

Crec que, o sigui, té

I think that, I mean, it has.

molta màgia en la vida

a lot of magic in life

perquè poder

to be able

estar bé, no?, parlar amb gent per Tinder i tal,

it's good, isn't it?, talking to people on Tinder and such,

però al final acabes parlant per xat,

but in the end you end up chatting.

no quedes amb la meitat

don't settle for half

de la gent. I no hi ha aquest primer

of the people. And there isn't this first one.

contacte cara a cara. Sí, exacte. Perquè el primer contacte

face-to-face contact. Yes, exactly. Because the first contact

és a través de la xarxa social. Les mirades que

It is through the social network. The looks that

intercanvies, tot això... No ho sé.

exchanges, all that... I don't know.

Vull dir, jo, la gent que

I mean, I, the people who

m'ha agradat en la vida real és perquè

what I liked in real life is because

els he conegut,

I have known them.

hem anat a parlar

we have gone to talk

por ahí, hem quedat, no?

There, we have agreed, right?

I és això, les interaccions,

And it is this, the interactions,

tot això, és la màgia

all of this is the magic

que perds quan

what you lose when

l'inites a Tinder. Exacte,

you start on Tinder. Exactly,

totalment. Sobretot aquest primer contacte,

totally. Especially this first contact,

no?, tan màgic, tan especial.

No? So magical, so special.

I això no ho tens

And you don't have this.

en les xarxes socials de

on the social networks of

contacte.

contact.

Sí. No? És molt

Yes. No? It is very.

més, no sé, pur,

more, I don't know, pure,

més net. Vull dir, mira, per exemple,

cleaner. I mean, look, for example,

jo me'n recordo

I remember.

amb en Guillem.

with Guillem.

Sí. Quan estàvem a classe

Yes. When we were in class.

i tal, vull dir,

and so, I mean,

amb, jo què sé,

with, I don't know,

de mirar-nos i tal, no?,

of looking at each other and such, right?

i anar xerrant, fent bromes

and chatting, joking around

l'un a l'altre. I, doncs, no sé,

each other. And, therefore, I don't know,

estava molt bé. Sí.

It was very good. Yes.

I no és el mateix que

And it's not the same as

el noi que vaig conèixer a Girona.

the boy I met in Girona.

Sí. Que quedàvem

Yes. That we agreed.

anant a fer un cafè, el que fos.

going to have a coffee, whatever it was.

És com,

It's like,

vaig anar a la primera cita

I went to the first date.

com dubtant,

like in doubt,

no? I això em passa

No? And this happens to me.

moltíssim. Cada cop que he de quedar amb algú

very much. Every time I have to meet with someone

que he conegut per Tinder,

that I met through Tinder,

no sé què esperar-me.

I don't know what to expect.

És com, no és el mateix, com

It's like, it's not the same, like.

quan hi ha un primer contacte amb aquella persona

when there is a first contact with that person

que ja la coneixes, l'has vist

that you already know her, you have seen her

en persona.

in person.

A part d'això, també,

Apart from this, also,

aviam,

let's see,

jo, per exemple, al meu cas, no?,

I, for example, in my case, right?

quan vaig a quedar

when am I going to meet

amb algú per Tinder per primera vegada,

with someone from Tinder for the first time,

posem Tinder com a caixa negal, eh?,

let's use Tinder as a black box, okay?

perquè hi ha mil aplicacions més, però és com la més

because there are a thousand more applications, but it is like the most

coneguda i la que més hem utilitzat. Sí, exactament.

known and the one we have used the most. Yes, exactly.

Però,

But,

quan vas a quedar amb algú,

when you are going to meet someone,

també, no hi ha aquest

also, this one is not there

nerviosisme, no hi ha aquesta il·lusió.

nervousness, there is no such illusion.

Sobretot aquesta il·lusió.

Above all this illusion.

Per exemple, la noia del tren,

For example, the girl on the train,

o sigui, estava de nerviosa

so, I was nervous

quan anava a quedar amb ella,

when I was going to meet her,

i si no li agrada, i si va malament,

and if he doesn't like it, and if it goes wrong,

i si no ens caiem bé, no?

And if we don't get along, right?

Et dóna molta ansietat, però al mateix temps

It gives you a lot of anxiety, but at the same time

és com aquesta il·lusió, aquesta,

it's like this illusion, this one,

no sé, aquestes papallones a l'estómac,

I don't know, these butterflies in the stomach,

que és el que jo busco amb algú, no?

What is it that I am looking for in someone, right?

No sé,

I don't know,

és complicat d'escriure la sensació,

it's complicated to write the feeling,

el teu primer contacte amb algú que realment t'agrada

your first contact with someone you really like

i amb qui realment has connectat, no?

And with whom you have really connected, right?

I això, per Tinder, a mi no em passa.

And this, for Tinder, doesn't happen to me.

Jo vaig com molt, bueno, una cita més.

I go as much, well, one more date.

A part, una altra cosa, no?,

Apart from that, another thing, right?

en plan,

in a way,

quan quedes

when are you meeting

amb gent de Tinder, no?,

with Tinder people, right?

ja saps que els dos esteu buscant

You already know that both of you are searching.

alguna cosa, i és com,

something, and it's like,

ja vas amb aquesta idea, no?, però quan estàs

You're already going with that idea, aren't you? But when are you…?

coneixent algú, jo què sé, sou amics,

knowing someone, I don't know, you are friends,

encara, i és allò de

still, and it's that of

quedar per primer cop sols, no?,

to meet alone for the first time, right?

i les brometes, i no sé,

and the little jokes, and I don't know,

encara no saps exactament el que busca

you still don't know exactly what you are looking for

l'altra persona, i és com molt màgic,

the other person, and it's very magical,

perquè és part de la història.

because it is part of history.

És que la incertidumbre,

It's just that the uncertainty,

al cap i a la fi, et dóna amor, tío,

after all, it gives you love, dude,

les coses com són, no?, dóna aquesta

Things as they are, right? Give that one.

gràcia, aquesta xispa que necessita

grace, this spark that it needs

en la relació, no?, el no sé, el

In the relationship, right?, the I don't know, the

ostres, i si li agrado,

gosh, what if he/she likes me,

i si no, quan passarà,

and if not, when will it happen,

quan sorgirà el primer petó, no?, i

when the first kiss will arise, right?, and

no sé. Exactament, és

I don't know. Exactly, it is.

molt més màgic que coneixes en part.

much more magical than you know in part.

És també una part, no?, per la

It's also a part, isn't it?, for the

que, doncs, no tinc tanta il·lusió

that, then, I don't have much excitement

a l'hora d'utilitzar Tinder, que,

when using Tinder, which,

vale, vulguis o no, coneixes l'escena

Okay, whether you want to or not, you know the scene.

amb la que tu passes bé, però no

with which you have fun, but not

és el mateix, i per això

it's the same, and for that reason

sempre estic com, ah, bueno,

I'm always like, ah, well,

ja coneixeré algú, no sé,

I'll get to know someone, I don't know,

me'n vull anar a llocs, coneixer

I want to go to places, to meet.

persones, doncs és això,

people, so that's it,

és la màgia añadida.

it's the added magic.

Sí, no sé, per exemple, Granada,

Yes, I don't know, for example, Granada,

no?, jo he estat visquent un any a Granada.

No? I have been living in Granada for a year.

Jo Granada, diguem, d'així, gent

I Granada, let's say, from here, people

amb la que hagi tingut una relació més

with whom I have had the closest relationship

enllà d'una amistat, no he conegut a ningú

beyond a friendship, I have not met anyone

cara a cara, tothom ha sigut per

face to face, everyone has been for

Tinder, tothom. Sí. Tinder o Badoop, tothom.

Tinder, everyone. Yes. Tinder or Badoo, everyone.

I he

I have

creat relacions molt màgiques, eh?, gent de Tinder

create very magical relationships, huh?, Tinder people

i Badoop, però al cap i a la fi, també,

And Badoop, but after all, too,

crec que ha arribat un moment en què m'he cremat

I think a moment has come when I have burned out.

moltíssim d'això de,

a lot of this of,

ostres, és sempre el mateix dinamisme,

wow, it's always the same dynamism,

no?, la mateixa conversació, la mateixa

No? The same conversation, the same.

primera cita, és com

first date, it's like

ja la gent ho té molt,

people already have a lot of it,

molt inculcat. Molt

very ingrained. Very

automatitzat. Sí. És com,

automated. Yes. It's like,

clar, és això, no?, el que hem

Of course, that's it, right? That's what we have.

parlat, que quant de persones

spoken, how many people

et fallaran,

they will fail you,

no seran el que t'esperaves,

they won't be what you expected,

i llavors

and then

la gent acaba molt cremada

people end up very burned out

i ja va a les primeres cites

And he/she is already going to the first dates.

sense aquesta xispa,

without this spark,

sense la intenció de que

without the intention of it

passi algo màgic.

something magical happens.

I és com, si passa genial, no?,

And it's like, if it's going great, right?

però és com que costa més

but it is like it costs more

que la gent

that people

surti del seu caparazón,

get out of its shell,

per dir-ho així. Sí, com de la seva bombolla.

to put it that way. Yes, like from their bubble.

Exacte. No, sí, sí, total,

Exactly. No, yes, yes, totally.

no sé.

I don't know.

Té el seu toque espacial, no?,

It has its space touch, doesn't it?

també, jo me'n recordo la primera,

I also remember the first one.

la primera vegada que m'ho vaig instal·lar era jo,

the first time I installed it, it was me,

doncs, vamos, la bomba, no?, estic coneixent un

so, come on, the bomb, right? I'm getting to know someone.

munt de gent al mateix temps i tal, però

a lot of people at the same time and such, but

després és com que

afterwards it's like that

és molt inhumà. Sí.

it's very inhuman. Yes.

També és això, no?, o sigui, estic parlant amb algú

It's also that, isn't it? I mean, I'm talking to someone.

a través d'una xarxa social que

through a social network that

o estic parlant a través d'una

I am talking through a

pantalla que volgués, no?, formar part de la tecnologia,

screen that you would want, right?, to be part of technology,

no?, i és això, és com molt,

no?, and that’s it, it’s like a lot,

no sé, com si fóssim autòmats, com si

I don't know, as if we were automatons, as if

no fóssim humans, no?, en temps, que ara ja

if we weren't human, right?, in time, that now already

hi hagués aquesta personalització.

there would be this customization.

No sé, tio.

I don't know, dude.

Doncs sí, crec que

Well yes, I think that

això és una de les coses, no?, per les que jo,

this is one of the things, right?, for which I,

si m'he enamorat, m'he enamorat de gent que he conegut

If I have fallen in love, I have fallen in love with people I have met.

cara a cara i ja està.

face to face and that's it.

És que aquesta és una altra, o sigui,

It's just that this is another thing, I mean,

jo he arribat a un punt ara que

I have reached a point now that

no sé, quedo amb la gent de Tinder i és com

I don't know, I meet up with people from Tinder and it's like

vale puta madre, no?, tenim

Okay, damn it, right? We have.

una relació esporàdica o una relació

a sporadic relationship or a relationship

contínua, no?, però que no arribarà

it's continuous, right?, but it won't arrive

un amor i està bé,

a love and it's fine,

m'agrada. Sí. Però

I like it. Yes. But

jo ara mateix que tinc ganes, no com de

I right now feel like, I don't eat.

marcar-me en una relació i etcètera,

mark me in a relationship and etcetera,

tia, no sé,

Aunt, I don't know.

jo estic amb una persona del Tinder,

I am with a person from Tinder,

jo no em veig en una relació amb aquella persona.

I don't see myself in a relationship with that person.

Em costa molt,

It's very difficult for me.

no?, com

no?, how

no sé, imaginar-me una relació

I don't know, imagining a relationship.

amb aquesta persona, la noia del tren,

with this person, the girl from the train,

o sigui, només conèixer-la i era com

so, just getting to know her and it was like

sé perfectament

I know perfectly.

que jo no la vull per algo

that I don't want her for any reason

esporàdic. I crec

sporadic. And I believe

que també és per aquest factor d'haver-la conegut

that it is also because of this factor of having known her

cara a cara. Segurament.

face to face. Probably.

I és com això, agraeixo

And it's like that, I thank you.

que ja existeixin les coses com Tinder,

that things like Tinder already exist,

però a mi només m'han servit per conèixer amics.

but for me, they have only served to make friends.

I realment el que

And really what

m'agrada de veritat és quan coneixes a la gent

What I really like is when you meet people.

cara a cara i parleu i

face to face and talk and

desenvolupes aquesta amistat que

you develop this friendship that

va escalant, no?, i va arribar

It's climbing, isn't it?, and it arrived.

a algun lloc. És la

somewhere. It's the

forma més màgica de conèixer algú per mi.

the most magical way to meet someone for me.

I per això m'agraden ells.

And that's why I like them.

Que realment Tinder també podria ser així, però

That Tinder could really be like this too, but

és això, hi ha molta gent que

that's right, there are a lot of people who

té una sola intenció, no?, i

it has a single intention, right?, and

que tampoc es deixa fluir, perquè

that also doesn't let it flow, because

esforça molt les coses en el sentit

it puts a lot of effort into things in that sense

de, d'acord, doncs jo busco

OK, then I’m looking.

això, això i això, doncs mira, jo ara mateix

this, this and this, so look, I right now

no sé si em veig capacitada per

I don't know if I feel capable of.

tenir una relació romàntica, però al

to have a romantic relationship, but at the

mateix temps jo no diré mai que no, perquè potser

at the same time I will never say no, because maybe

arriba algú i m'enamoro bojament. Exacte.

Someone arrives and I fall madly in love. Exactly.

I què faig aleshores? No, no, per molt que

And what do I do then? No, no, no matter how much...

estigui enamorada no puc tenir una relació, perquè

being in love I can't have a relationship, because

no, o sigui, estaria anant contra el meu propi

No, I mean, it would be going against my own.

instint i els meus desitjos interns,

instinct and my inner desires,

no?, al cap i a la fi és deixar-ho fluir, perquè

no?, after all it's about letting it flow, because

potser surt una amistat, potser sorgeix

maybe a friendship arises, maybe it comes up

una amistat amb drets, no?,

A friendship with rights, right?

o potser sorgeix simplement una relació,

or perhaps a relationship simply arises,

es podrà dir que d'un sol dia, no ho sé,

It can be said that in a single day, I don't know,

poden sorgeixer mil relacions diferents, perquè

a thousand different relationships can arise, because

no hi ha només dos tipus de relacions que

there are not just two types of relationships that

senyeixen amistat o sexe o

they signify friendship or sex or

relació amorosa a tres. Sí.

Love relationship with three. Yes.

Sinó que hi ha un

But there is a

un ventall infinit, no?,

an infinite fan, right?

de tipologies de relacions i que

of types of relationships and that

et convé amb cada persona, no ho sé.

I don't know if it suits you with each person.

I sento que el Tinder és com que esforça

I feel that Tinder is like a hassle.

molt la situació, potser, també.

a lot the situation, perhaps, too.

Sí, això, la gent

Yes, that, the people

va a lo que va i van

it goes to what it goes and they go

automatitzats. Sí, no sé,

automated. Yes, I don't know,

tio. No sé.

dude. I don't know.

És...

It is...

jo perdo les ganes d'utilitzar

I lose the desire to use.

Tinder. És que tu

Tinder. It's just that you.

també, tio, has tingut més bones experiències.

Also, dude, you have had more good experiences.

Bueno, més bones experiències, més...

Well, more good experiences, more...

Menys

Less

bones experiències, per dir-ho així. Sí.

good experiences, so to speak. Yes.

També és

It is also

part de culpa, no?, de que soc, això, molt exigent

Part of the blame, right?, for being this, very demanding.

busco el que busco, també.

I am looking for what I am looking for, too.

I jo sé

And I know

que vull una relació sèria

that I want a serious relationship

i Tinder no és

and Tinder is not.

gaire per això. Ja.

not much for that. Yes.

No, sí. Que podria

No, yes. That I could.

ser-ho, eh? Sí, sí, podria ser-ho, però

to be it, huh? Yes, yes, it could be, but

costa molt

it costs a lot

trobar coses així. I també que

find things like this. And also that

el mateix que em pot passar a mi això de

the same thing that can happen to me this of

jo no concebo la relació

I do not conceive of the relationship.

amb algú que he conegut per Tinder, li passa a molta gent.

with someone I met on Tinder, it happens to a lot of people.

En el sentit de

In the sense of

si jo tinc una relació amb algú, s'aclararà perquè he conegut

If I have a relationship with someone, it will become clear because I have gotten to know them.

aquella persona cara a cara. Sí.

that person face to face. Yes.

I, aleshores, potser molta gent ja va amb aquesta

And then, maybe a lot of people are already on this.

mateixa filosofia, no?, de

same philosophy, right?, of

no puc treure res bonic

I can't take out anything beautiful.

per aquí.

over here.

El que passa, també, és que molts cops jo

What happens, too, is that many times I

he quedat, bueno,

I have remained, well,

gent amb la que quedes per Tinder,

people you meet for Tinder,

ja tenen aquesta

they already have this

idea, no?, de si

idea, right?, of if

saben que vols una relació, tu vols

they know you want a relationship, you want

una relació, ells volen, no?

a relationship, they want, right?

És com, vale, hem de

It's like, okay, we have to

sortir d'aquesta cita, ens hem d'agradar.

To leave this date, we have to like each other.

I no és lo de, bueno,

And it's not about, well,

ens hem portat suficientment bé com

we have behaved well enough as

amics, ho podem deixar

friends, we can leave it

aquí i anar veient

here and see how it goes

com van les coses, sinó és com, si no m'has

how are things, if it’s not like, if you haven't

agradat suficient, com perquè, ehm,

sufficiently pleased, like why, um,

jo, jo crec que puc tenir una

I, I think I can have one.

relació amb tu, ja està.

relationship with you, that's it.

Saps? I és això, també. Sí.

You know? And that's it, too. Yes.

Com que és molt,

As it is a lot,

ha de ser tot molt

it all has to be very

ràpid, no?, instantànic.

Quick, right? Instant.

És com, per exemple,

It is like, for example,

mmm, mira,

mmm, look,

per exemple, mon germà fa vídeos per Instagram,

for example, my brother makes videos for Instagram,

no?, i a vegades

no?, and sometimes

m'ensenya un vídeo i jo, ostres, m'encanta, i em diu

"shows me a video and I, wow, I love it, and he/she tells me"

sí, però l'he de tallar. I jo, però per què l'has de tallar? Si és perfecte,

Yes, but I have to cut it. And me, but why do you have to cut it? It’s perfect.

talla-l'hi com és. I em diu, perquè

Cut it off as it is. And he says to me, why.

si és més d'un minut, la gent no se'l mirarà.

If it's more than a minute, people won't look at it.

Perquè ara estem en una era

Because now we are in an era

en què tot ha de ser ràpid.

in which everything has to be fast.

Som impacients, som incapaços de

We are impatient, we are incapable of

mantenir la concentració en una cosa més d'un

maintain concentration on one thing for more than one

segon, no?, de 15 segons o un minut.

Second, right?, of 15 seconds or a minute.

Aleshores, passa el mateix

So, the same thing happens.

sobretot en les cites de Tinder,

especially on Tinder dates,

no?, o sigui, ha de ser tot ràpid. O sigui,

no?, I mean, everything has to be quick. I mean,

si no hi ha hagut la suficient

if there hasn't been enough

connexió, amb la suficient

connection, with the sufficient

rapidesa en una primera cita, si no hi ha hagut

speed on a first date, if there hasn't been any

un petó en la primera cita, doncs, no pot haver-hi una segona

A kiss on the first date, then, there can't be a second.

perquè no t'ha quedat i punt.

because you didn't have it left and that's that.

Ostres, o sigui, les coses a vegades van més

Wow, I mean, things sometimes go further.

lentes. O sigui, l'amor, no sé, però

glasses. I mean, love, I don't know, but

sorgeix d'un dia per un altre. Exactament.

It arises from one day to the next. Exactly.

I aquest és com el meu problema,

And this is like my problem,

no?, el que et vaig dir de la carta.

No? What I told you about the letter.

La carta que vaig rebre,

The letter I received,

no?

Si se m'hagués declarat

If it had declared to me

directament i no,

directly and no,

perquè són coses que a vegades passen,

because these are things that sometimes happen,

no sé, gent que, això, va

I don't know, people who, this, goes.

lo que va, m'hauria

What happens, I would have.

tirat molt cap enrere, jo, això. Però

thrown very far back, me, that. But

el fet que hi hagi algú que

the fact that there is someone that

et vol conèixer més i tot això,

wants to get to know you better and all that,

és la màgia, és el que

it's the magic, it's what

jo vull, saps?

I want, you know?

Donar temps a desenvolupar aquesta

Give time to develop this.

relació, anar veient com és el terreny,

relation, getting to know how the terrain is,

no tirar-te directament a la piscina,

don't jump straight into the pool,

sinó posar primer els peus.

but rather to put your feet first.

I és això,

And this is it,

és l'únic que demano de la gent,

it's the only thing I ask of people,

de veritat. Més clar, tu i jo

Really. Clearer, you and I.

tenim una concepció molt diferent de les relacions

we have a very different conception of relationships

i portem a cap relacions molt diferents perquè

and we carry out very different relationships because

per mi és,

for me it is,

tot això és en qüestió emocional

all this is about emotional issues

i per tu és en qüestió emocional i física.

And for you, it's an emotional and physical matter.

En el sentit de,

In the sense of,

jo, per exemple, puc mantenir relacions sexuals

I, for example, can have sexual relations.

amb una persona la primera nit,

with a person the first night,

però no puc implicar-me emocionalment

but I can't get emotionally involved

la primera nit perquè la fora sí que em dóna

the first night because the outside does give me

ansietat i necessito anar molt

anxiety and I need to go a lot

a poc a poc. I tu és el mateix,

little by little. And you are the same,

però inclòs

but included

de la part física, o sigui,

from the physical part, that is,

tu no t'enrotlles amb una persona

you don’t mess around with a person

la primera cita perquè t'és més difícil,

the first date because it's harder for you,

no? Però és això de, ostres,

No? But it's this thing of, wow,

o sigui, algú que em vulgui conèixer.

In other words, someone who wants to get to know me.

Exacte. És que, clar, per mi això

Exactly. It's just that, of course, for me this...

és com, significa molt més,

it's like, means much more,

no? Perquè és com,

no? Because it's like,

joder, sabent com

fuck, knowing how

soc, no?, i que

I am, aren't I? And what?

el tema de la sexualitat és un tema

the topic of sexuality is a topic

que tira molta gent cap endarrere,

that pulls a lot of people backward,

vulguis o no, la gent

whether you like it or not, people

priorititza el sexe i

prioritize sex and

ho considera molt important.

he considers it very important.

Bueno, jo no ho considero tan important.

Well, I don't consider it that important.

I això, tenir una

And this, to have a

persona que

person who

potser et vol conèixer

maybe he/she wants to get to know you

millor, no?, i no

better, right?, and no

es para a pensar en que

It's about thinking about what.

això és un problema,

this is a problem,

doncs, joder,

well, damn,

s'aprecia, saps? Perquè és com

It's appreciated, you know? Because it's like

a vegades

sometimes

si arribes a conèixer la persona

if you get to know the person

et pot agradar