El Pati Podcast #12 | JAUME SOLÉ
EL PATI
EL PATI
El Pati Podcast #12 | JAUME SOLÉ
Se va a ver un follón que no sabe ni dónde se ha metido
He's going to get into a mess he doesn't even know how he got into.
Senyores i senyors, no us preocupeu més perquè ja som aquí
Ladies and gentlemen, don't worry anymore because we are here.
Ja hem arribat des de les terres de Ponent
We have already arrived from the lands of the West.
Per dir-vos que ha sonat el timbre
To tell you that the bell has rung.
I sortim al pati
We're going out to the yard.
No, ni soparé, ni he berenat, ni faré res avui
No, I will neither have dinner, nor have had a snack, nor will I do anything today.
Això és massa fort
This is too strong.
Oh, companys i companyes
Oh, friends and amigas
Que si no sou de Targues
That if you are not from Targues.
Que us esteu perdent alguna cosa
That you are missing out on something.
Sigueu molt benvinguts al dotze capítol
Welcome to the twelfth chapter.
De la quarta temporada
From the fourth season
Del cada vegada més humil
From the increasingly humble
I menys deficitari
And less deficit.
Pati Podcast
Pati Podcast
Ja hi tornem a ser
Here we go again.
Tots els integrants de la banda del pati
All the members of the playground band.
El Viles a la bateria
The Viles on drums.
L'Eloi a la trompeta
Eloi on the trumpet
El Quim al baix
The Quim downstairs
I jo, òbviament, a la pandereta
And me, obviously, on the tambourine.
Seguim un capítol més
Let's continue with another chapter.
Però és que a l'horitzó
But there is on the horizon
Es comencen a sentir certs rumors
Certain rumors are starting to be heard.
D'un possible final d'era
Of a possible end of an era
Serà aquesta l'última temporada
Will this be the last season?
Del pati podcast
From the courtyard podcast
S'han cansat de xerrar
They are tired of chatting.
Sense que ningú els faci cas i els escolti
Without anyone paying attention to them or listening to them.
És el serritan guapo
He is the handsome Montserrat.
A la vida real
To real life
Estigueu tranquils
Be calm.
En els propers dies donarem més informació
In the next few days, we will provide more information.
Sobre el nostre futur
About our future
Avui no em vull allargar massa
Today I don't want to go on for too long.
Perquè tenim l'honor i el plaer
Because we have the honor and the pleasure
De rebre la visita d'una de les cares
Receiving a visit from one of the faces.
Més conegudes de Targa
More known of Targa
És així o no, Quim?
Is it so or not, Quim?
És així, avui tenim el plaer
That's right, today we have the pleasure.
Com deies tu, de rebre la visita
As you said, receiving the visit.
De l'ull que tot ho veu
From the eye that sees everything
Un home que ha fet de la seva feina
A man who has made his job
Un símbol d'identitat marcadíssim
A highly marked symbol of identity
En la seva personalitat
In his/her personality
Perquè no t'imagines Jaume sense càmera
Why can't you imagine Jaume without a camera?
Ni càmera sense Jaume
Not a camera without Jaume.
Però és el que fem
But it's what we do.
Per això, mentre el catsejàvem a l'entrada
That's why, while we were teasing him at the entrance.
Entre les claus de casa
Among the house keys
I algun artefacte potencialment explosiu
And some potentially explosive device.
Li hem hagut de retirar
We have had to remove it.
Una reflex Nikon D7500
A Nikon D7500 DSLR.
De 18 a 140
From 18 to 140
B-R SD2
B-R SD2
No patiu, amics
Don't worry, friends.
És un acudit de fotògrafs
It's a joke about photographers.
Entre els del Gremi i els amantes
Between those of the Guild and the lovers.
M'has traslladat a l'aficionat?
Have you transferred me to the fan?
La meva és la Butxens?
Is mine the Butxens?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home
He tirat baix
I have thrown down.
Mira que canviem
Look how we change.
Doncs gràcies a que hem pogut interceptar
Well, thanks to the fact that we were able to intercept.
Aquest objecte susceptible de fer
This object is capable of doing.
En el moment menys esperat
At the least expected moment
Avui podeu veure el Jaume més pur
Today you can see the purest Jaume.
Més autèntic
More authentic
Menys...
Less...
Totalment despullat
Totally naked
Espiritualment davant nostre
Spiritually before us
Un home conegut absolutament per tothom a la ciutat
A man known absolutely by everyone in the city.
Un autèntic referent
An authentic reference
En la passió per la seva feina
In the passion for his work.
L'encarregat d'omplir les dues últimes pàgines de la nova tarda
The person in charge of filling in the last two pages of the new afternoon.
Que eren les úniques que ens miràvem a la seva època
They were the only ones we looked at in their time.
Un geni del zoom in zoom out
A genius of zooming in and out
Una persona
A person
Que fa una mitja marató
What does a half marathon do?
Només per fer-te una foto de carnet
Just to take a passport photo of you.
Que s'ha posat d'un costat a l'altre
That has been moved from one side to the other.
El Messi del...
The Messi of...
Eh!
Hey!
Ho sabeu tots?
Do you all know?
Una persona que si em preguntes
A person that if you ask me
Sempre ha tingut la mateixa edat
He has always been the same age.
Sí, perfectament
Yes, perfectly.
Un John Lennon en tota regla
A full-fledged John Lennon.
Que un de nosaltres el va estar a punt de matar abans d'hora
That one of us almost killed him ahead of time.
Però ja en parlarem
But we'll talk about it later.
De One and Only Jaume Soler
By the One and Only Jaume Soler
Tot i que el meu tiet també es diu Jaume Soler i no és ell
Although my uncle is also called Jaume Soler and it is not him.
Així que potser no tan One and Only
So maybe not so One and Only.
És el dos
It is two.
Jaume Soler dos
Jaume Soler two
Tot i això, il·lustríssim Jaume Soler
Nevertheless, illustrious Jaume Soler.
Benvingut al Pati Vodka
Welcome to Pati Vodka.
Gràcies
Thank you
Estàs, sí, enfadat
You are, yes, angry.
Cabronàs
Bastard
Estàs enfadat
Are you angry?
No, estic feliç d'estar viu
No, I am happy to be alive.
Ah, això
Ah, that
Perquè sempre la fallem
Because we always mess it up.
Sempre la fallem
We always mess it up.
Sort n'hi ha hagut
There has been luck.
Perquè la teoria vostra
Because your theory
Que no es compleix mai
That is never fulfilled.
El que les vostres prediccions
What your predictions
Puc dir que està comprovat i demostrat
I can say that it is verified and proven.
Això, bueno, aprofitem per saludar l'Eloi i el Viles
Well, let's take the opportunity to greet Eloi and Viles.
Com esteu?
How are you?
Estàs content, tu, Eloi, de tindre el Jaume i tots els altres?
Are you happy, you, Eloi, to have Jaume and all the others?
Jo estic molt content
I am very happy.
Però tinc por
But I am afraid.
Tinc por que em pot sortir la història
I'm afraid that the story might come out.
Us haig de dir que des d'aquell dia se m'ha amagat
I have to tell you that since that day he/she has hidden from me.
I som veïns
We are neighbors.
No l'he vist més
I haven't seen him/her anymore.
No ens hem vist
We haven't seen each other.
Però jo et vaig veure diumenge passat
But I saw you last Sunday.
Que pujaves en un cotxe
That you were getting into a car.
Que anaves al cau a no sé on
That you were going to the den to I don't know where.
I dic, mira com dissimula
I say, look how he/she hides it.
Cabronàs
Bastard
L'Eloi està content
Eloi is happy.
Però de tenir-me a mil mig
But to have me at a thousand midway.
Està content avui
He is happy today.
El va, que us estimo molt
I love you all very much.
Jaume, fem unes preguntes típiques i ràpides
Jaume, let's ask some typical and quick questions.
A tots els convidats que portem aquí al Pati Vodka
To all the guests we have here at Pati Vodka.
Perquè la gent que ens ha dit que no és el que és
Because the people who have told us that it is not what it is.
Que la gent els pugui conèixer una mica
So that people can get to know them a little.
Estem preparats?
Are we ready?
Estic a punt
I am ready.
Edat?
Age?
40
40
40 coditzats
40 coded
Ostres, 50 també
Wow, 50 too.
60
60
60 i algo
60 and something
A quina escola vas anar?
Which school did you go to?
A l'escola Pia
At the Escola Pia
A la Salle
At La Salle
I a l'Institut Fotogràfic de Catalunya
And at the Photographic Institute of Catalonia.
Per tant
Therefore
Estudis
Studies
Estudis, mira
Studies, look.
Tinc l'administratiu que no he exercit mai
I have the administrative position that I have never held.
Perquè me'n vaig adonar que qui no hi està
Because I realized that those who are not there
Vaig descobrir que era una mica hiperactiu
I discovered that I was a bit hyperactive.
També ens n'hem adonat
We have also noticed it.
I la meva passió
And my passion
Que ha vingut del meu pare
What has come from my father.
La vaig descobrir
I discovered her.
Just al tornar de la mil
Just upon returning from the thousand.
I me'n vaig adonar que
I realized that
El meu era la càmera
Mine was the camera.
Mira, primera feina
Look, first job.
La meva feina
My job
Primera feina professional o d'aficionat?
First professional job or hobbyist?
Primera feina
First job
Fotògraf de l'escola Pia
Photographer of the Pia school
Fer una revista que es diu Kibuts
Make a magazine called Kibuts.
Després a la mil
Later to the thoudand.
I el fotògraf del quartel
And the photographer of the barracks
Has treballat alguna cosa que no sigui de fotografia?
Have you worked in anything other than photography?
Sí
Yes
Sí, sí
Yes, yes
A la mili, com que no podia estar quiet
In the army, since I couldn't stay still.
I tenir les tardes lliures
And to have free afternoons
Me'n vaig anar
I went away.
Hi havia un diari que es diu La Mañana
There was a newspaper called La Mañana.
Hòstia, La Mañana
Damn, The Morning
El segre encara no
The Segre not yet.
Hi havia La Mañana
There was The Morning.
Que diu buscamos personas
What does it say? We are looking for people.
Para tricotar
For knitting
Dic, ah
I say, ah
M'hi presento
I show up.
I em veus allí
And you see me there
Rick, rack
Rick, rack
Valtres no ho sabeu
You don't know it.
Però feia jerseis
But he/she was making sweaters.
Rick, rack
Rick, rack
Llavors em diuen
Then they tell me
Què et sembla?
What do you think?
Dic, no, no, és fàcil
I say, no, no, it's easy.
Rick, rack
Rick, rack
I sortia un jersei allí, no?
A sweater came out there, right?
I tal i qual
So and so
I llavors em diu
And then he tells me.
Mira, això funciona així
Look, this works like this.
Diu, tu vas treballant
He says, you keep working.
Anem donant les hores
We're passing the hours.
Més o menys
More or less
En un estànding
In a standing position
Que acabava a la mili
That was finishing military service.
Amb una tricotadora enorme
With a huge knitting machine.
D'aquí fins aquí
From here to here
Que no hi cabia a casa meua
That it wouldn't fit in my house.
I vaig estar una setmana
I was there for a week.
Mira
Look
A continuació
Next
Em va sortir
It came out to me.
Lo del círculo de lectores
The circle of readers
També buscaven gent
They were also looking for people.
Ah, mira, mira
Ah, look, look.
Perquè era en castellà
Because it was in Spanish.
No en tots els anys
Not in all the years.
I buscaven gent
They were looking for people.
I em veus al carrer
You see me on the street.
Amb un traje
With a suit
Porta, porta
Door, door
Bones, círculo de lectores
Hello, readers' circle.
Buaf
Yuck
Bones
Goodbye
Perdoni
Excuse me.
Tinc una cosa
I have something.
Que no la té ningú més
That nobody else has it.
Ah, i llavors t'escoltaim
Ah, and then we will listen to you.
Bueno
Good
Vénc una enciclopèdia
I sell an encyclopedia.
I arriba el primer tomb
And here comes the first turn
Us arriba el primer tomb
The first turn arrives for you.
Amb les tapes invertides
With the inverted lids
Va
Go
I me la tornen
They return it to me.
I me borren la comissió
They are deleting my commission.
Dic
I say
No és per mi
It's not for me.
És a dir
That is to say
Que no vas vendre cap enciclopèdia
That you didn't sell any encyclopedia.
No
No
Una que me la van tornar
One that they gave back to me.
Efectuosa
Effective
Sí
Yes
Estat civil
Marital status
Una pregunta
A question
Molt ràpida
Very fast
A mi m'has explicat molt ràpid
You have explained to me very quickly.
Què vol dir tricotar
What does it mean to knit?
Tricotar
To knit
És una tricotadora
She is a knitter.
Que tricote
What a mess!
I fa
And it does
Tricotar
To knit
És que ets molt jove
It’s just that you are very young.
És que no sé
I don't know.
Què és tricotar
What is knitting?
A veure
Let's see.
Com t'ho explicaré
How will I explain it to you?
Si ho fas a mà
If you do it by hand
Un jersei
A sweater
Com lo faries a mà
How would you do it by hand?
Tu ara
You now
Sense sàpigues res
Without knowing anything.
Un cap d'ell
A head of him
I unes
And some
Gancés
Gance's
No
No
Doncs ara imagina't
Well now imagine this
Que això ho automatitzes
That you automate this.
Llavors fan una màquina
Then they make a machine.
Que fes
What he/she did
Ric
Rich
Rac
Rac
I et feia
I was thinking of you.
Tot una tirada
All in one go
Ric
Rich
Rac
Rac
I hi havia tots uns
And there were all sorts of them.
Capdells d'allà
Garlic cloves from there.
Que anaven estirant
That they were stretching.
I aleshores
And then
Pues
Well
Anais fent
Anais doing
I després hi havia una senyora
And then there was a lady.
Que
What
Empalmava les mànigues
He was rolling up his sleeves.
I aquestes coses
And these things
Que això s'havia
That this had been
I ja està
And that's it.
Sortia un jersei
It came out a sweater.
D'aquells
Of those
Bueno
Good
Dels anys 70
From the 70s
D'aquells joves
Of those young people
Bueno
Good.
Tu no ho has vist
You haven't seen it.
Que anàvem al bit ben
That we were going to the good bit.
Amb aquells jerseis
With those sweaters
Es lligava molt
It was tied a lot.
Sí
Yes
I
I
Bueno
Good
Tricotar
To knit
Estat civil
Marital status
Jaume
James
Molt ben casat
Very well married
Metres quadrats
Square meters
Què fa a casa teva
What does he/she do at your house?
Eh
Eh
Sé
I know
No sé quants
I don't know how many.
És una casa
It is a house.
És
It is
Sóc el veí
I am the neighbor.
D'aquell senyor d'allà
From that gentleman over there.
Llavors
Then
Som quatre veïns
We are four neighbors.
Que compartim
What we share
Una piscina i jardí
A pool and garden.
De 500 metres quadrats
Of 500 square meters
Mira
Look
Però no
But no
No em deixen
They don't let me.
Portar gent
Bring people.
No et deixen
They don't let you.
Si no sou de família
If you are not from a family
Eh
Eh
O sigui que si
So if
Voleu
Do you want?
Ens fem
We are becoming
De família
Of family
Ens fem família
We are becoming family.
Segona residència
Second home
Eh
Eh
De moment
At the moment
L'estudi
The study
A mi passen moltes hores
Many hours pass for me.
Mascotes
Pets
Dos
Two
Tinc
I have
El Pixel
The Pixel
Que té Facebook
What does Facebook have?
Lo senyor Pixel
Mr. Pixel
A veure si
Let's see if
Podem fer seguir dos
We can follow two.
El senyor Pixel
Mr. Pixel
Que és un gos
What is a dog
Sí
Yes
Sí, sí, sí
Yes, yes, yes
És aquell que porto sempre
It's the one I always wear.
Sí
Yes
Un bitxo maltes
A Maltese bug
I a més
And also
Parla de filosofia
Talks about philosophy.
De la vida
Of life
I tal i qual
And so on
Explica quan
Explain when
Quan se va casar
When he/she got married
Amb la gosseta
With the puppy
Quan va tindre els seus fills
When did he/she have his/her children?
I parla
And he speaks.
De coses perroners
Of dog-related things
I llavors
And then
Tinc a son fill
I have a son.
Que el volíem regalar
We wanted to gift it.
Però em va mirar la cara
But she looked at my face.
I com que
And since
Torna sensible
Come back sensitive
Amb l'edat
With age
I
I
I amb la fenya que fas
And with the effort you make
Doncs ara en tinc dos
Well, now I have two.
Tinc pare i fill
I have a father and a son.
I es diu R2
And it's called R2.
El segon
The second
El Pixel i l'R2
The Pixel and the R2
I l'R2
And the R2
Molt bé
Very well
A més tant
Furthermore so much
Educatòrics es porten molt bé
Educators behave very well.
Jo tinc una pregunta dels gossos
I have a question about dogs.
Els pots diferenciar?
Can you differentiate them?
Perquè jo sempre que els veig pel carrer
Because every time I see them on the street
Dic
I say
Són iguals
They are the same.
Home
Home
Un té 13 anys
He is 13 years old.
I mig
And a half
I l'altre en té 5
And the other one has 5.
Eh
Eh
Amb un li poso
With a it I put on.
Per si de cas
Just in case.
Eh
Eh
Li poso l'Ernest Blau
I put Ernest Blau.
El senyor Pixel
Mr. Pixel
I
I
I és un fill
And he is a son.
El porta vermell
The red door
A vegades m'equivoco eh
Sometimes I make mistakes, you know.
Ah
Ah
I els hi canvio
And I change them.
Hòstia
Holy shit
Bar o restaurant de referència?
Reference bar or restaurant?
Home
Home
Restaurant
Restaurant
Tots
All
És que em fan treball a tots
They make me work for everyone.
Ah clar
Oh, of course.
Cafeteries i bars
Cafes and bars
Tots
All
Clar
Clear
Soc comercial
I am a salesperson.
Home
Home
Jaume
Jaume
Ets molt diplomàtic
You are very diplomatic.
Sí
Yes
Tots
All
Home
Home
Vull dir que
I mean that
Porto una trajectòria de bars
I have a background in bars.
Que em fa por
That scares me.
Vull dir que
I mean that
Això
This
Bé
Good
Persona més famosa entre els teus contactes?
Most famous person among your contacts?
Més famosa...
More famous...
Així influent, podríem dir, eh?
So influential, we could say, right?
Bueno, el putic no, perquè vol dir que s'havia de morir, també.
Well, the little whore no, because it means that he had to die, too.
No sé, el Mag Lari.
I don't know, the Mag Lari.
El Mag Lari, molt bé, molt bé.
The magician Lari, very well, very well.
Josep Maria, estic una amistat.
Josep Maria, I am a friend.
Pels amics.
For friends.
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Maria pels amics.
Maria for the friends.
Hòstia, no l'havia sentit mai que es deia Josep Maria, però vale.
Wow, I had never heard that he was called Josep Maria, but okay.
No, no, se'n diu.
No, no, that's what it's called.
L'Ari, eh?
Ari, huh?
Lo del Mac és a més a més.
The thing about the Mac is more than that.
No és el primer que em va dir.
It's not the first time someone has told me.
Surts de festa, què et demanes a la barra?
When you go out to party, what do you order at the bar?
Ara demano una aigua natural, però sóc de birreter.
Now I ask for a still water, but I am a beer drinker.
Sí, però ahir, ahir vas picar, eh?
Yes, but yesterday, you messed up yesterday, didn't you?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Tremendo.
Tremendous.
Em va deixar, em va deixar.
She left me, she left me.
Ahir què vas acabar?
What did you finish yesterday?
La saúca.
The elderberry.
Ai, la saúca.
Oh, the elderberry.
És que...
It's just that...
A veure, reivindico.
Let's see, I claim.
No tanqueu la fàbrica del Matoll, sisplau.
Please don't close the Matoll factory.
S'ha de dir.
It must be said.
S'ha de dir, home, per favor.
It must be said, man, please.
Home, que a mi m'ha...
Man, that has...
A mi m'ha...
It has...
He descobert un paladar diferent.
I have discovered a different palate.
Home, és que...
Dude, it's just that...
Sí.
Yes.
És que sí.
It is that yes.
És aquella putada de les coses, que quan descobreixes el que t'agrada s'acaba, eh?
It's that screwed-up thing about life, that when you discover what you like, it comes to an end, right?
Sí, sí, sí. Sembla estrany.
Yes, yes, yes. It seems strange.
I per última, Jaume, grup de música preferit?
And lastly, Jaume, what is your favorite music group?
He treballat per a tots.
I have worked for everyone.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Mira, ara hi ha una cosa que em va molt bé perquè em faig la meva música.
Look, now there is something that works very well for me because I make my own music.
Que per treballar...
That to work...
S'ha de pagar drets d'autors, ja ho sabeu, eh?
You have to pay copyright fees, you know that, right?
No sé quina música feu servir aquí, però cuida d'in, eh?
I don't know what music you use here, but be careful with it, okay?
Que a mi m'ho han vingut dos cops.
That it has happened to me twice.
I clar, està molt bé perquè li dius a la Rosita, eh?
And of course, it's very good because you tell Rosita, right?
Perquè no vull dir Marques.
Because I don't want to say Brands.
Ah, vale.
Ah, okay.
Li dius a la Rosita.
You tell Rosita.
Mira, Rosita, necessito una musiqueta.
Look, Rosita, I need some music.
Veus?
Do you see?
Són una parella que s'han casat ara, s'han casat en aquell lloc.
They are a couple that has just gotten married, they got married in that place.
Que tingui un estil així i que faci xungui-xungui i nyaqui-nyaqui.
That it has a style like this and goes xungui-xungui and nyaqui-nyaqui.
I pretes i...
I pretend and...
Xungui-xungui i nyaqui-nyaqui.
Chirp-chirp and meow-meow.
I em queda conya.
I still find it funny.
Llavors, clar, és música i neta.
Then, of course, it's music and clean.
Però bueno, no sé, sóc molt de blues, sóc molt de blues.
But well, I don't know, I'm really into blues, I'm really into blues.
M'agrada tot lo de blues.
I like everything about blues.
El fado el vaig descobrir a Lisboa.
I discovered fado in Lisbon.
No m'agradava.
I didn't like it.
Però em vaig sopar amb una senyora que cantava fado
But I had dinner with a lady who sang fado.
i uns quants mossens allà a l'amanida.
and a few priests over there at the salad.
I dic, ostres, m'agrada el fado.
I say, wow, I like fado.
T'agrada?
Do you like it?
Sí, i he descobert una cosa.
Yes, and I have discovered something.
Autors...
Authors...
No sé, començaria pels Beatles.
I don't know, I would start with the Beatles.
I acabaria...
And I would end up...
Per la terrasseta.
For the small terrace.
Sí, dels Beatles a la terrasseta.
Yes, from the Beatles to the small terrace.
Ja en pas, ja en pas.
Already in step, already in step.
Les pintes són les mateixes.
The hairstyles are the same.
Sí.
Yes.
Mentre és nyaqui-nyaqui, xungui-xungui, a mi em va tot.
While it's all nyaqui-nyaqui, xungui-xungui, everything is fine for me.
Mira, doncs fins aquí les preguntes ràpides.
Look, so that's all for the quick questions.
Hi ha una mica més específic, en flash o sense?
Is there something a bit more specific, in flash or not?
Jo sóc a pelo, natural tot.
I am bare, completely natural.
Sense?
Sense?
Sense.
Sense.
El flash sí que l'utilitzo per...
I do use the flash for...
Sense.
Sense.
El flash sí que l'utilitzo per rebotar.
I do use the flash to bounce.
Allò que hi fiquis aquella...
Whatever you put there...
Ah, exacte.
Ah, exactly.
Fixa't que no te'l tiro mai directe, vale?
Notice that I never throw it directly to you, okay?
O sigui, no pots fer així, no em facis així perquè no et molesto.
So, you can't do that, don't do that to me because I'm not bothering you.
I llavors m'agrada molt el rebot, el rebot, el rebot, el rebot.
And then I really like the rebound, the rebound, the rebound, the rebound.
Zoom in o zoom out?
Zoom in or zoom out?
Zoom out.
Zoom out.
Zoom out, eh?
Zoom out, huh?
I també podríem dir que l'obturador, quants mil·límetres més o menys?
And we could also ask how many millimeters the shutter is, more or less?
Ai, l'has cagat, eh?
Oh, you messed it up, huh?
L'has cagat.
You've messed it up.
L'obturador és una cosa, els mil·límetres és una altra.
The shutter is one thing, the millimeters are another.
L'obturador és el temps.
The shutter is time.
El diafragma és l'iris.
The diaphragm is the iris.
Correcte, correcte.
Correct, correct.
A més que no m'ho heu fet el màster, eh?
Besides, you didn’t give me the master's, right?
No, però ja veus que el sets m'agrada molt parlar sense saber-ne res.
No, but you can see that I like to talk a lot without knowing anything about it.
La velocitat, la que toqui.
The speed, whatever it may be.
Velocitat.
Speed.
Perquè és l'obturador.
Because it's the shutter.
La velocitat, l'obturador.
The speed, the shutter.
La que toqui, perquè queda bé.
Whichever one fits, because it looks good.
Que vols donar moviment, velocitat lenta, eh?
You want to give movement, slow speed, huh?
Que vols quedar impactat.
You want to be left stunned.
Ràpida.
Quick.
Ara, lo més important és el diafragma.
Now, the most important thing is the diaphragm.
El diafragma és l'iris.
The diaphragm is the iris.
L'iris, com més obert el tens...
The iris, the more open you have it...
Més llum, no?
More light, right?
Més llum tindre, però és que l'has pillat.
More light to have, but it's that you've got it.
L'has pillat.
You caught him/her.
Perquè tens la pupila molt dilatada.
Because your pupil is very dilated.
Llavors, perds metres.
Then, you lose meters.
A vegades també passa això de nit, que la gent té les pupilles...
Sometimes this also happens at night, that people have their pupils...
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Normalment, perquè hi ha poca llum, eh?
Normally, because there is little light, right?
Sí, perquè...
Yes, because...
S'ha de dir, s'ha de dir.
It must be said, it must be said.
Llavors, que hi ha molta llum, la pupila es fa pitita,
Then, when there is a lot of light, the pupil constricts.
l'iris de la càmera és petitet.
The camera's iris is small.
Com que hi ha poca llum,
Since there is little light,
va, el número F, que és el diafragma més important,
come on, the F number, which is the most important diaphragm,
més que no et fa pares...
more than it makes you stop...
64.
64.
No, això estàs parlant, doctora...
No, that's what you're talking about, doctor...
Me cago en la mare!
I shit on the mother!
Sari!
Sari!
Home, me cago en el que t'infartaràs, home!
Man, I swear you’ll have a heart attack, man!
Me cago en l'hòstia!
I shit on the host!
Vale, vinga.
Okay, come on.
64.
64.
A veure, tornem-hi.
Let's see, let's try again.
L'F8...
The F8...
F8, eh?
F8, huh?
F8 és el diafragma perfecte.
F8 is the perfect aperture.
Si mireu el meu logo, és un F8.
If you look at my logo, it's an F8.
Perquè és el que no desenfoca,
Because it's what doesn't go out of focus,
agafes una profunditat de cap mitja,
you take a depth of half a head,
i no et fa les flaires.
And it doesn't give you the scents.
Recordeu-vos-en, les flaires.
Remember the scents.
Si mai aneu de nit i veus moltes flaires,
If you ever go out at night and smell many scents,
posa't un F8, no les veuràs.
put on an F8, you won't see them.
Just ho he pensat aquest matí quan m'he despertat.
I just thought about it this morning when I woke up.
Segur que el logo de Jaume és un F8.
Surely Jaume's logo is an F8.
Exacte.
Exactly.
I pel que fa als plans,
And regarding the plans,
aniríem pel primeríssim, primer pla,
we would go along the very first, foreground,
o t'agraden més...
or do you like them more...
Mira, depèn del que vulguis fer.
Look, it depends on what you want to do.
Depèn del que vulguis fer.
It depends on what you want to do.
A mi m'agrada... Això és meu, eh?
I like... This is mine, okay?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Pren-ho en nota, eh?
Take note of it, okay?
Per mi, què és la fotografia?
For me, what is photography?
Que no m'ho has preguntat.
You didn't ask me that.
Què és, Jaume, per tu?
What is it, Jaume, to you?
Com faig una fotografia?
How do I take a photograph?
Per mi, la fotografia és poesia congelada.
For me, photography is frozen poetry.
Poesia congelada, eh? Ostres.
Frozen poetry, huh? Wow.
És meu, eh?
It's mine, right?
No, no.
No, no.
No m'has copiat de ningú.
You haven't copied me from anyone.
No, no, és meu.
No, no, it’s mine.
És una bona definició.
It's a good definition.
M'ho ha dit a l'Urdes la nova tàrrega.
The new Tàrrega told me.
Hosti.
Damn.
Vostè no ho havia sentit mai. És meu.
You had never heard it. It is mine.
Per mi, la fotografia congelada, o sigui,
For me, the frozen photograph, that is,
la fotografia congelada és aquesta copa,
the frozen photograph is this cup,
que veieu aquí, que no sé per què serà,
what you see here, I don't know why it will be,
aquesta copa.
this cup.
Hi ha moltes maneres de retratar-la.
There are many ways to portray her.
Però clar, si tu li pots donar aquesta poesia congelada,
But of course, if you can give him this frozen poetry,
quan la mires...
when you look at her...
Pam.
Pam.
Te la paguen i tot.
They pay you for it and everything.
Calés, correcte.
Money, correct.
Ai, ai, ai.
Oh, oh, oh.
Això et fa espavilar molt, eh?
This makes you perk up a lot, doesn't it?
Jaume, ara que parlem una mica de calés,
Jaume, now that we're talking a bit about money,
m'ha vingut al cap, bé, saber una mica,
it has come to my mind, well, to know a little,
per poder-ho saber, eh?
just to be able to know, right?
Quina ha sigut la vegada que més calés t'han pagat
What was the time you were paid the most money?
per fer una foto sola?
to take a solo photo?
Per fer una foto sola, eh?
Just to take a picture alone, huh?
No et diré l'empresa perquè, pobres, van tancar.
I won't tell you the company because, poor things, they went bankrupt.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
I sense penjar amb la foto.
I feel like posting with the photo.
Hosti.
Damn.
La van comprar i no...
They bought it and not...
La van comprar.
They bought it.
Doncs per això van tancar, clar.
Well, that's why they closed, of course.
Me van llogar un hotel i tot, perquè el pressupost, eh?
They rented me a hotel and everything, because of the budget, you know?
No, que ara potser entenem el perquè la van tancar.
No, maybe now we understand why they closed it.
No va ser per mi, eh?
It wasn't for me, okay?
Però bueno, em van demanar una foto que havia de fer.
But well, they asked me for a photo that I had to take.
Acabem d'inaugurar aquesta empresa brutal,
We have just inaugurated this amazing company,
una empresa brutal.
a brutal company.
De guitarra, eh?
From guitar, huh?
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Brutal, brutal.
Brutal, brutal.
I em demanen una foto que havia de cobrir cinc metres.
They are asking me for a photo that was supposed to cover five meters.
Hòstia, un idò.
Wow, an idò.
Venint un producte, que clar, si el dic ja sabríem l'empresa,
Coming a product, which of course, if I say it, we would already know the company,
però bueno, no el diré.
but well, I won't say it.
I vaig fer un bosc.
I made a forest.
Vale.
Okay.
Vaig fer un bosc.
I made a forest.
Aquest bosc havia de ser especial perquè donàvem bien
This forest had to be special because we were doing well.
a tota aquella sala gran,
to that whole large room,
aquella paret de cinc metres, no?
that five-meter wall, right?
I vaig dir, on puc anar a fer un bosc?
I said, where can I go to make a forest?
I vaig dir, a la Fagede.
I said, at the Fagede.
Com que hi havia pressupost.
As there was a budget.
A la Fagede del Jornal.
At the Fagede of the Journal.
Cap a la Fagede.
Towards the beech forest.
Hotel.
Hotel.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Clar, perquè clar, el primer dia vas...
Of course, because, you see, on the first day you...
Vas fer...
You did...
Un stage vas fer, no?
You did an internship, right?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
L'angle.
The angle.
Aquí amb l'estimada secretària.
Here with the dear secretary.
Aquest que et sembla d'aquí, aquest que et sembla d'allà.
This one that seems from here, this one that seems from there.
Anem a dinar, ens ho mirem.
Let's go to lunch, we'll see.
Vale.
Okay.
A dinar, també.
At lunch, too.
Que després...
That later...
Sí.
Yes.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Perquè hi havia dietes.
Because there were diets.
Hi havia dietes, clar.
There were diets, of course.
I a més, allà, la Fagede és relaxant.
And also, there, the Fagede is relaxing.
Home, és tot.
Home, it's everything.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Llavors, quan ja ho tenia estudiat, dic, és que no m'agrada.
Then, when I had already studied it, I said, it's just that I don't like it.
Diu, bueno, tornant allí, ve amb una ermita, eh?
He says, well, coming back there, she comes with a hermitage, huh?
Que hi havia uns plataners.
That there were some plane trees.
Vale.
Okay.
L'any demà.
The year tomorrow.
Perquè jo soc de la llum.
Because I am of the light.
Per mi, si heu vist pel·lícules, va, tres per l'edat que teniu, sou tots d'aquest segle
For me, if you have seen movies, come on, three for your age, you are all from this century.
gairebé.
almost.
Eh, quan revelaves amb llum vermella, eh?
Eh, when you were developing with red light, huh?
Hi havia el paper que anava pujant la imatge, el passaves a la primera cubeta, que era el
There was the paper that was lifting the image, you passed it to the first tray, which was the
revelador.
revealing.
L'imatge, l'imatge, l'imatge.
The image, the image, the image.
Aquella poesia, eh?
That poetry, huh?
Sí.
Yes.
Anava pujant l'imatge fins que tu dius, aquí, aquí m'està bé, i la canviais.
I was raising the image until you said, here, here it looks good to me, and you changed it.
El que en diem bany de pano.
What we call a cloth bath.
Vale.
Okay.
I la passava amb el fixador que es quedava fixat, eh?
And I was spending it with the fixer that got fixed, huh?
Com diu la paraula.
What is the word?
Clar.
Of course.
Llavors, jo què faig?
So, what do I do?
Doncs busco la llum diurna de primer al matí.
Well, I look for daylight first thing in the morning.
Primera.
First.
Perquè molta gent és d'última hora a la tarda.
Because many people are last minute in the afternoon.
Llavors, aquell angle, la llum il·lumina per l'altre cantó i fa que no el tinguis normalment
Then, that angle, the light illuminates from the other side and makes you not perceive it normally.
vist.
seen.
O sigui, que no el recordis així.
So, don't remember him like that.
Eh?
Huh?
Aleshores, clar, jo sóc de...
So, of course, I am from...
En pic surt el sol i jo sóc allí.
As soon as the sun rises, I am there.
És de...
It is from...
Però tant, si surt el sol i sóc allí, vol dir que ja hi sóc un rato abans, per no
But if the sun comes out and I'm there, it means I've already been there for a while, right?
dir una hora.
to tell a time.
Bé, ho prepares tot, pim pam pum, fas aquesta foto, clar, és una foto que has de tenir en
Well, you prepare everything, quick quick, you take this photo, of course, it's a photo you have to have in.
compte que són cinc metres.
be careful that it's five meters.
Com ho fas?
How do you do it?
Amb una càmera, per molt bona que sigui, cinc metres de foto necessites moltíssima
With a camera, no matter how good it is, you need a lot of photo for five meters.
resolució perquè l'has de veure.
resolution because you have to see it.
Llavors, faig servir una tècnica que...
Then, I use a technique that...
Tens fotos verticals.
You have vertical photos.
I després ho ajuntes.
And then you put it together.
Tinc programes que m'ho ajunten, tu ho remates i així n'he fet moltes, eh?
I have programs that bring it all together, you finish it off and that’s how I've done a lot of them, huh?
I aquesta va ser la primera foto ben cobrada.
And this was the first well-paid photo.
De què podríem estar parlant?
What could we be talking about?
De més de dos mil euros.
Of more than two thousand euros.
Per una foto.
For a photo.
L'estic parlant de fa... no és el mateix d'ara, que de fa, doncs, què deu fer?
I'm talking about... it's not the same as now, so what must it be?
Quinze...
Fifteen...
Dievuit anys.
Eighteen years.
I gastos pagats.
And expenses paid.
I gastos pagats, clar.
And expenses paid, of course.
De dos dies van ser?
Was it in two days?
Sí, clar.
Yes, of course.
Quina millor, Quim.
Which is better, Quim.
Estava a ser bona.
I was being good.
Sí, una noche d'hotel.
Yes, a hotel night.
No, no, molt bé.
No, no, very good.
Perquè havia d'agafar la matinada, eh?
Why did I have to catch the early morning, huh?
Em vaig perdre l'esmorzar.
I missed breakfast.
Bueno.
Good.
I era igual.
It was the same.
I abans que deies que ets de més de matins, quan... a quina ha sigut l'hora que més aviat
And before you said that you are more of a morning person, when... what has been the earliest time?
t'has hagut d'aixecar per anar a fer una foto?
Did you have to get up to go take a picture?
A veure, suposo que el sol...
Let's see, I guess the sun...
Per fer la foto, que no és per preparar-la.
To take the photo, which is not to prepare it.
Jo diria...
I would say...
T'explico el meu historial, una mica.
I'll explain my history to you, a little bit.
El dia de fer la foto.
The day to take the photo.
Sí.
Yes.
El dia de fer la foto, a veure, com entendràs que depèn de l'hora solar.
The day to take the photo, well, how will you understand that it depends on solar time?
Clar.
Sure.
Si és ara, mai deu ser abans.
If it is now, it must never have been before.
En quina hora surt el sol, ara?
What time does the sun rise now?
A les set?
At seven?
A les sis i mitja?
At half past six?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Doncs una hora abans.
So an hour earlier.
Cinc i mitja.
Five and a half.
Clar.
Of course.
T'has d'estar preparat.
You have to be ready.
T'aixeques, dutxa.
You get up, shower.
Home, esclar.
Of course.
Dutxa sempre.
Always shower.
Colònia.
Colony.
Home, no.
No, home.
Bueno.
Good.
No sóc...
I am not...
Tinc les...
I have the...
L'honest...
The honest...
Molt...
Very...
Us he olorat a tots.
I have smelled all of you.
Ja, ja, ja.
Ha, ha, ha.
Sí.
Yes.
Tinc un detector i clar, no suporto l'accés de colònia.
I have a detector and clearly, I can't stand the colony access.
No puc entrar en una perfumeria, em veuràs a terra...
I can't enter a perfume shop, you'll see me on the floor...
És que les perfumeries no fan massa bona olor, eh?
It's just that perfume shops don't smell too good, right?
Tot marrisat.
All messed up.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Em contamina, eh?
It contaminates me, huh?
No ho suporto.
I can't stand it.
Ni les persones que em porten massa...
Neither the people who carry me too much...
És que hi tenen...
It's that they have...
No sé per què, hi ha persones que se'n posen la botella sencera i se van atansant molt.
I don't know why, there are people who drink the whole bottle and keep getting closer.
O sigui, jo vaig tirant enrere, clar, quan tens un negoci és de quedar bé, no?
So, I'm backing off, of course, when you have a business, it's about keeping up appearances, right?
Et vas tirant enrere.
You are pulling back.
Però n'hi ha que t'invadixen el teu esperit.
But there are some that invade your spirit.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
T'invadixen el teu espai.
They invade your space.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Llavors, sort, n'hi tinc del mostrador.
Then, luck, I have it from the counter.
Sort.
Exit.
T'ha entrat mai algú?
Has anyone ever come in?
Ha passat el mostrador?
Has she/he passed the counter?
Sí.
Yes.
Però dient, home, no és el teu lloc.
But saying, man, this is not your place.
No, no, aquesta, eh?
No, no, this one, eh?
Aquesta, que ja no em queda més espai.
This, as I no longer have any more space left.
Clar, el que vol el mostrador és que no només està darrere, que per part pots ficar
Of course, what the counter wants is that it's not only behind, that you can also fit from the side.
els braços...
the arms...
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Et donem més jocs.
We give you more games.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Marques una mica d'espai.
Mark a little space.
Em va molt bé, em va molt bé.
I'm doing very well, I'm doing very well.
I moltes vegades he de ventilar i tirar...
And many times I have to ventilate and throw away...
Home, ara t'anava a dir.
I was just about to tell you.
Clar, jo et preguntaré per molt aviat, però...
Sure, I'll ask you very soon, but...
Tu has de menjar tot.
You have to eat everything.
M'hagués fet de fotògraf de discoteques, de festes nocturnes, perquè ara els xavalets
I would have become a nightclub photographer, of night parties, because now the kids
comencen per això.
they start for that reason.
Sí?
Yes?
Sí, home, jo he fet tota la campanya al Big Ben.
Yes, man, I have done the whole campaign at Big Ben.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
D'un i dos.
One and two.
Clar, ara hi tornarem, que no teniu les entrades.
Sure, we'll get back to that now, since you don't have the tickets.
Encara no.
Not yet.
No, encara no.
No, not yet.
Ja parlarem amb el jefe.
We'll talk to the boss later.
Toca fotografia a tu?
Do you play photography?
No, però suposo que hi haurem d'anar com a mínim convidat, no?
No, but I suppose we will have to go at least as a guest, right?
Convidat d'honor.
Guest of honor.
Nostàlgia.
Nostalgia.
Sí.
Yes.
I he sigut allà...
I have been there...
Tots els fins...
All the ends...
I està desempadronat.
And he is unregistered.
Sí.
Yes.
I he fet podis.
I have made pods.
Ostres.
Oysters.
Bueno, quasi bé era part del Big Ben.
Well, it was almost part of Big Ben.
N'altres encara no m'estrenant ni la Big Ben, ni el Waikiki, ni res, tot això.
We still haven't tried Big Ben, Waikiki, or anything like that.
Pregunta'ls als papes.
Ask the parents.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Ens ho han explicat molt.
They have explained it to us a lot.
Ens n'han explicat bastant.
They have explained quite a bit to us.
Sobretot que hi havia un fotògraf que hi havia per allà, que no es parla.
Especially since there was a photographer around, who is not mentioned.
Sí.
Yes.
Cal dir que hi vaig perdre una màquina i la meva primera reflex...
It must be said that I lost a machine there and my first reflex...
Hostia, te la van robar?
Damn, did they steal it from you?
Bueno, la portava penjada aquí, vaig entrar, vaig sortir sense la màquina.
Well, I had it hanging here, I went in, and I came out without the machine.
Sí.
Yes.
I va robar Toni de càmera.
Toni stole from the camera.
No ho sé.
I don't know.
No sé què va passar.
I don't know what happened.
Em va desaparèixer.
It disappeared on me.
És la culpa d'aquell signo d'allà.
It's the fault of that sign over there.
Ell fa fotos a les nits, eh?
He takes pictures at night, right?
Ell és fotògraf, correcte.
He is a photographer, correct.
Fotògraf amateur.
Amateur photographer.
Cada cop em feu el mateix.
You always do the same to me.
Que és una Chinon?
What is a Chinon?
No, és una Nikon.
No, it's a Nikon.
Ah, no, no la tenia encara.
Ah, no, I didn't have it yet.
No, no la tenia encara.
No, I didn't have it yet.
No, no, la cosa és, sempre em fan el mateix.
No, no, the thing is, they always do the same to me.
Una A5700?
An A5700?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
És una foto d'aquelles...
It's one of those photos...
És una càmera digital.
It is a digital camera.
Una 1500, que la vol.
A 1500, that I want.
No, et puc...
No, I can...
Sé perfectament a quin model ho és, perquè sóc molt quisquit.
I know perfectly well which model it is because I am very picky.
És que vull la meva càmera.
It's just that I want my camera.
Digue-li, digue-li.
Tell him, tell him.
A quin model és?
Which model is it?
És una S4200.
It's an S4200.
Però és una càmereta petita, tàctil...
But it's a small, touch camera...
Com un pàquet de...
Like a packet of...
Compacte, eh?
Compact, eh?
Correcte.
Correct.
No és aquella que m'heu pres a l'entrar, no?
It's not the one you took from me upon entering, is it?
No.
No.
No, no, però el que he de dir és que aquestes càmeres em fan el mateix.
No, no, but what I have to say is that these cameras do the same to me.
L'última vegada va vindre un DJ professional.
The last time a professional DJ came.
I van dir, no, aquest és DJ.
They said, no, this is DJ.
Ara, em portes el Jaume Soler, el millor fotògraf que conec.
Now, you bring me Jaume Soler, the best photographer I know.
No, l'Arnau és fotògraf.
No, Arnau is a photographer.
Però ho ets o no?
But are you or not?
No.
No.
Jo porto una càmera de festa, ja està.
I have a party camera, that's it.
Però la portes.
But you carry it.
La portes.
You carry it.
Per tant, ho tens a dintre.
Therefore, you have it inside you.
Però no sé què estic fent.
But I don't know what I'm doing.
Què estàs estudiant?
What are you studying?
Jo?
Me?
No estudio.
I don't study.
Quan t'adonis que el que realment disfrutes és un plaer, triomfaràs.
When you realize that what you truly enjoy is a pleasure, you will succeed.
Et posaràs a fotografia.
You will get photographed.
Amb tot.
With everything.
Sí, però disfruta perquè...
Yes, but enjoy because...
A vegades li toquen els costats.
Sometimes they touch his sides.
No, la cosa és...
No, the thing is...
Jo, ara que deies flajos i coses així,
Me, now that you mentioned slackers and things like that,
vaig trobar el gust de la càmera perquè era un...
I found the joy of the camera because it was a...
A la gent li alegra molt trobar-se una càmera de veritat.
People are very happy to find a real camera.
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Perquè la gent està molt acostumada als mòbils.
Because people are very accustomed to mobile phones.
Sí, sí, i amb negatiu encara més, no sé per què.
Yes, yes, and with negativity even more, I don't know why.
Estic venent més carrers que mai des de l'època digital.
I am selling more streets than ever since the digital era.
Correcte, correcte.
Correct, correct.
Rodets, me'ls venen a buscar.
They are coming to pick me up.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
I n'hi ha que troben el rodet...
And there are those who find the reel...
No ho feu, sisplau, no ho feu.
Don't do it, please, don't do it.
Un rodet caducat de fa 20 anys i el posen a la càmera.
A film reel expired 20 years ago is placed in the camera.
Després de fer tot el peripè se'n donen compte que no surtin res, perquè està caducat.
After going through all the trouble, they realize that it doesn't come to anything because it is expired.
Claro.
Of course.
Els rodets caduquen.
The rollers expire.
Mira darrere, igual que les llaunes de sardina.
Look behind, just like the sardine cans.
Caduquen, caduquen.
They expire, they expire.
Diuen-se, home, agafa el nou de trinca, que tampoc no val cap fortuna.
They say, man, take the new one for a spin, as it's not worth a fortune either.
Vés a Jaume Soler a la plaça Banjó.
Go to Jaume Soler at Banjó square.
Jo els tinc frescos sempre.
I always have them fresh.
Correcte.
Correct.
A la pista.
To the track.
Ja vas bé.
You're doing well.
O sigui, canviem de tema completament, sense tenir res a veure.
So, let's change the subject completely, without having anything to do with it.
Has fet servir mai la càmera per lligar o per fer amics o...?
Have you ever used the camera to flirt or to make friends or...?
Sí, home, a Burgos.
Yes, man, in Burgos.
Explica't la història.
Tell me the story.
Bueno, és que, clar, hi ha públic.
Well, it's just that, of course, there's an audience.
Hi ha públic.
There is an audience.
Que es verme.
What is a worm?
Bueno, ja s'estan ficant els dos verdes.
Well, they are already putting the two greens in.
Sí, resulta que teníem un amic comú i aquest amic diu, està a Equitàrrega perquè el
Yes, it turns out we had a mutual friend and this friend says, he is in Equitàrrega because he
seu germà treballava amb el meu pare.
Your brother worked with my father.
I diu, escolta, què pot vindre el teu amic, el fill, el germà d'aquest company que treballa?
And he says, listen, what can your friend, the son, the brother of this colleague who works come?
I dic, i tant, pot vindre a la nostra colla.
I mean, of course, he can come to our group.
Jo, la meva colla era l'esbar.
Me, my group was the esbar.
Vale.
Okay.
Cal dir que des dels 16 anys que salto i voto.
It must be said that I have been jumping and voting since I was 16 years old.
I la meva dansa preferida és la jota catalana amb Castanyola.
And my favorite dance is the Catalan jota with castanets.
Hòstia.
Damn.
I no sé ballar saldanes.
And I don't know how to dance saldanes.
No ho saps?
Don't you know?
No, però et seguixo bé, eh?
No, but I follow you well, okay?
Ho podem veure, ho podem veure.
We can see it, we can see it.
És una dansa, és una dansa.
It’s a dance, it’s a dance.
I, clar, a l'esbar tenim un repertori de 3, 4 mil danses.
I, of course, at the esbar we have a repertoire of 3, 4 thousand dances.
Vull dir que...
I mean that...
Sí.
Yes.
3, 4 mil danses.
3, 4 thousand dances.
Vull dir que...
I mean that...
Imagina't, eh?
Imagine that, huh?
Si les poguessin ballar totes...
If they could all dance...
Eh, eh...
Eh, eh...
Igual m'he passat de dos o tres, eh?
I might have gone a bit over two or three, huh?
Si em senten Tom Ferran o l'Anna Salvatore...
If Tom Ferran or Anna Salvatore can hear me...
Bé, eh...
Well, uh...
Però, bueno, ja m'enteneu.
But, well, you understand me already.
I aleshores aquest amic diu, ven a les fiestes del Pueblo, que te la passaràs molt bé.
And then this friend says, come to the town festival, you'll have a great time.
Amb aquest accent, eh?
With this accent, huh?
Sí.
Yes.
Jo dic, és que jo no he sortit mai de tàrrega.
I say, it's just that I have never left Tàrrega.
No he sortit mai de tàrrega i, clar, me cago en l'ou.
I have never left Tàrrega and, of course, I’m pissed off.
Dic, ara hauré d'anar allí per quedar bé.
I say, now I'll have to go there to make a good impression.
Bueno.
Good.
Va allí i...
Go there and...
No.
No.
Això a un any.
This in a year.
Diu, escolta, que...
He says, listen, that...
Diu, està a vindre...
He says, it's coming...
Dic, bueno, vinc.
I say, well, I'm coming.
Us diré que són les vacances més llargues de la meva vida.
I will tell you that they are the longest holidays of my life.
Va estar 27 dies.
He was there for 27 days.
Hòstia!
Holy shit!
Déu-n'hi-do.
Well, I’ll be!
Com a autònom, això?
As a self-employed person, this?
Hòstia, aquell mes...
Damn, that month...
És infumable.
It's unmanageable.
Aquell mes, déu-n'hi-do.
That month, wow.
Sí, vaig conèixer una xica, una xica d'allí...
Yes, I met a girl, a girl from there...
De Burgos, eh?
From Burgos, huh?
Uau!
Wow!
De Burgos, eh?
From Burgos, huh?
I que no és la senyora actual, eh?
And it's not the current lady, right?
Ah, d'acord.
Oh, okay.
No, vaig conèixer una, ens vam fer amiguets i dic, carai, això és...
No, I met one, we became friends and I said, wow, this is...
I la gent era molt...
And the people were very...
Molt amb...
Very much with...
Sí.
Yes.
No érem catalans.
We were not Catalans.
D'acord.
Okay.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Ben resumit.
Well summarized.
Resumint.
Summarizing.
Repito l'any següent i porto'm un amic.
I repeat next year and I bring a friend.
D'acord.
Okay.
El meu company, en Josep Maria.
My colleague, Josep Maria.
En Josep Maria.
Joseph Maria.
En Maglari.
In Maglari.
Que també s'enamora, eh?
So it also falls in love, huh?
Sí.
Yes.
No, no, Maglari, no.
No, no, Maglari, no.
No ens coneixem.
We don't know each other.
No coneixem.
We don't know each other.
També s'enamora i...
He also falls in love and...
I jo dic al meu company, perquè havíem de vindre un any que du, dic, què puc repetir
And I say to my companion, because we had to come one year that he has been here, I say, what can I repeat?
aquest any?
this year?
És que m'agradaria molt.
I would really like that.
T'agrada, eh?
You like it, huh?
I vaig conèixer una altra xiqueta.
I met another girl.
Va, Maglari.
Come on, Maglari.
Però amb el cuento de les fotos, eh?
But with the story of the photos, huh?
Ah, què anaves fent?
Ah, what were you up to?
A veure, i què anaves fent?
Let's see, and what were you doing?
No, no, buscava la top model.
No, no, I was looking for the top model.
Clar, perfil diferent, clar, rotllo.
Sure, different profile, clear, vibe.
Jo soc el lleig que s'enrotlla.
I am the ugly one who gets involved.
I el meu amic era el guapo que lligava.
And my friend was the handsome one who hooked up.
Va bé.
It's going well.
Sempre...
Always...
I dic, per què no me l'aprengués?
I say, why didn't I learn it?
Dic, aquella, aquella.
I say, that one, that one.
I sí, sí.
And yes, yes.
Espa, s'hi va casar.
He/she got married there.
S'hi va casar.
He/She got married there.
El teu amic.
Your friend.
El meu company, sí.
My colleague, yes.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
I llavors, teníem un altre company, que era el meu amic.
And then, we had another colleague, who was my friend.
Sí.
Yes.
Que abans he dit el nom.
That I mentioned the name earlier.
Però ara no ho diré.
But now I won't say it.
Resulta ser que dic, vine allí.
It turns out that I say, come there.
No, i que allò és la hòstia.
No, and that is awesome.
Dic, si no lligues allí, no lligues enlloc.
I say, if you don't hook up there, you won't hook up anywhere.
I aquell any vaig conèixer l'amor de la meva vida, eh?
And that year I met the love of my life, huh?
Ah, el tercer any.
Ah, the third year.
O quart.
The quarter.
Sí.
Yes.
Jo vaig anar a la mili.
I went to the army.
I vaig anar a portar el meu amic.
I went to take my friend.
Perquè dic, tio, vine aquí.
Because I say, dude, come here.
Que xuxu, xuxu, xuxu.
What a cutie, cutie, cutie.
Tercer any.
Third year.
Sí.
Yes.
I va...
It goes...
I no...
And no...
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
I només mirar-li als ulls vaig sàpiguer que seria la mare de les dues filles.
And just looking into her eyes, I knew she would be the mother of the two daughters.
Hòstia, Jaume.
Holy shit, Jaume.
La iaia de les meues netes.
The grandmother of my granddaughters.
Però és que això ho saps?
But do you know this?
Esteu enamorats?
Are you in love?
Això ho veus?
Do you see this?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Eh?
Huh?
Sí, sí, ho saps.
Yes, yes, you know it.
Ho has notat, això?
Have you noticed that?
Ho has notat?
Have you noticed it?
Mira, mira.
Look, look.
Que m'han caigut tots.
They have all fallen on me.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Mira, mira, mira.
Look, look, look.
Ho veus, no?
You see it, don't you?
Deu-n'hi-do, pell de gallina.
Wow, goosebumps.
Un de...
One of...
Un pèl que...
A hair that...
Sí, deu-n'hi-do.
Yes, indeed.
L'únic de punta.
The only point.
Vale.
Okay.
Pues...
Well...
Vas treure la càmera de fotos ràpid.
You took out the camera quickly.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No va calguer ni càmeres.
It was not necessary to heat or cameras.
Els ulls li va fer la foto.
The eyes took the photo.
No, no.
No, no.
No.
No.
I, i, i, i, clar.
Yes, of course.
I em va donar carabassa.
He/She turned me down.
He, he, he.
He, he, he.
Sí.
Yes.
I tot...
And everything...
M'ha anat a la mil·li.
I've done it to the millimeter.
Estava a l'agost.
It was in August.
Al gener.
In January.
Després de res.
After nothing.
I dic...
I say...
En quin vull escriure les meves cartes d'amor?
In which language do I want to write my love letters?
Sí.
Yes.
I cago en la mar.
I shit in the sea.
I em dóna carabassa.
And it gives me pumpkin.
I allí...
And there...
Pues hi havia una amiga, molt amiga.
Well, there was a friend, a very good friend.
Dic...
I say...
Que m'ajudaràs?
That you'll help me?
M'ajudó.
He/She helped me.
I abans de Nadal...
And before Christmas...
Me dijo que sí.
He/she told me yes.
No.
No.
Me dijo que sí.
He told me yes.
Mira, mira.
Look, look.
Me dijo que sí.
He/She told me yes.
És que la tenim de públic.
It's just that we have her as the audience.
Me dijo que sí.
He told me yes.
Ja.
Yes.
Escrivia una carta tots els dies.
I wrote a letter every day.
I com us ho fèieu?
And how did you do it?
Per...
For...
Per carta, eh?
By letter, huh?
Carta, eh?
Letter, huh?
Ah!
Ah!
Sóc el rei de les cabines de telèfon.
I am the king of telephone booths.
Perquè...
Because...
Clar.
Sure.
Ara ho tenim molt bé, el mòbil.
Now we have it very well, the mobile.
Però he imaginat que no hi ha mòbils.
But I have imagined that there are no mobile phones.
Que hi ha la cabina del López Vázquez.
That there is the cabin of López Vázquez.
Eh?
Eh?
Bé, no sabem qui és.
Well, we don't know who he is.
El de la cabina que es queda tancat, allí.
The one in the booth that gets closed, there.
Tot en cabines.
Everything in cabins.
I clar.
Of course.
No et fas, Emili.
Don't worry, Emili.
No hi ha...
There is no...
No hi ha caler.
There is no money.
No hi ha tela.
There is no fabric.
I...
I...
I clar.
And of course.
Jo li vaig dir...
I told him/her...
Tranquil·la, carinyo, que me tocarà muy cerca.
Calm down, darling, I will touch you very closely.
Perquè abans et sortejaven.
Because before they drew lots for you.
Va, i em foten a Lleida.
Come on, they’re sending me to Lleida.
La mare...
The mother...
M'ho cerca de casa.
It looks for me at home.
Sí, m'ho cerca de casa.
Yes, it looks for me near home.
I cada fin de setmana agafava un siscentets que tenia de quarta mà, de color verd, que
And every weekend I would take a six-hundred that I had second-hand, green in color, that
s'obria les portes al revés, i m'hi va a Burgos.
The doors opened the wrong way, and I went to Burgos.
Hòstia!
Holy shit!
Cada cap de setmana?
Every weekend?
I cada viernes que podia escapar-me, si no em castigaven, perquè com que ja era hiperactiu
And every Friday that I could escape, if they didn't punish me, because since I was already hyperactive.
l'Emili també, doncs cada dos per tres el calabosso.
Emili too, since every now and then he gets in trouble.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Manta i el calabosso.
Blanket and the jailer.
Quan hi havies arribat a estar així com a màxim de temps?
When had you reached being like this for the longest time?
No, no.
No, no.
Eh...
Eh...
10 dies.
10 days.
Home, 10 dies!
Home, 10 days!
Sí.
Yes.
Enriotant dels jocueres.
Enraging the players.
10 dies a l'Emili, cau el nou!
10 days to Emili, the new one falls!
I a l'Emili castigat allí, a més a més sense cobrar, allí tancat, allí jugant amb un
And Emilie was punished there, moreover without pay, locked up there, playing with one.
tio que està zumbat, jugant amb la pilota...
dude who's crazy, playing with the ball...
I com la vas convèncer perquè vingués a tàrrega?
And how did you convince her to come to Tàrrega?
Calla, calla, que no s'ha acabat.
Shh, shh, it's not over yet.
No, llavors acabes l'Emili i ella, bueno, té una càrrega sanitària per veure això
No, then you finish with Emili and she, well, she has a healthcare burden to see this.
del cor.
from the heart.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Això que és tan perillós.
This is so dangerous.
Cabronaço.
Bastard.
Ara li direm, ara li direm.
Now we will tell him, now we will tell him.
I aleshores va acabar la carrera i la seua mama li buscava feina allí i jo aquí.
And then he finished his degree and his mother was looking for a job for him there and me here.
Qui va guanyar?
Who won?
I no has trobat feina?
Haven't you found a job?
No, no, se la va trobar ella.
No, no, she found it herself.
Perquè clar, vam anar a veure...
Because of course, we went to see...
Ara envieu currículums.
Now send resumes.
No, no envieu currículums.
No, do not send resumes.
Vesi, dona la cara, parla molt.
You see, show your face, talk a lot.
Festeja't el qui t'entreviste.
Celebrate the one who interviews you.
Correcte.
Correct.
Busca-li psicològicament su puntillo que diu sa.
Find her psychological edge that says yes.
M'agrades, m'entens?
I like you, do you understand me?
Sí, sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Tens feina segura.
You have a secure job.
Vam anar a veure vàries hospitals i clíniques de Barcelona.
We went to see several hospitals and clinics in Barcelona.
Vam estar un parell o tres de dies.
We were there for a couple or three days.
I després vam dir, dic, anem aquí a Lleida.
And then we said, I mean, let's go here to Lleida.
Vamos aquí a Lleida.
Let's go here to Lleida.
Que aquí amb un matí ho tens arreglat.
That with a morning you have it sorted out.
Pues tu saps que l'any demà mos trucaen vàrius?
Well, you know that next year several people will call us?
Hòstia.
Damn.
A Lleida sí que vas a haver trobat un puntillo.
In Lleida, you must have found a bit of a vibe.
A Lleida?
To Lleida?
Buf.
Phew.
I encara truquen ara.
And they are still calling now.
Vale.
Okay.
Mira, ja és la coordinadora.
Look, she is already the coordinator.
Bueno.
Good.
I bé, i aleshores, pues clar.
And well, and then, of course.
I així, maletes.
And so, suitcases.
Sí, maletes cap aquí.
Yes, bags this way.
El piso de companyeres de Lleida de la calle Tejerías.
The flat of roommates in Lleida on Tejerías street.
Que ara es diu Teuleries, ara.
That is now called Teuleries, now.
Sí, home, ara ja ens hem normalitzat.
Yes, man, now we have normalized.
I bé, bé, bé, va ser tan bonic.
And well, well, well, it was so beautiful.
Va ser bonic, eh?
It was beautiful, wasn’t it?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
I mira.
And look.
Sí, fixa't.
Yes, look.
Encara que és que, cara, buf.
Although it's like that, dear, phew.
Cada dia estic més enamorat.
Every day I am more in love.
Sembla estrany, eh?
It seems strange, doesn't it?
Mira, mira.
Look, look.
Com que m'ho sent.
As I feel it.
Llibreta i boli pels que busquin l'amor en el Burgos, eh?
Notebook and pen for those looking for love in Burgos, huh?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Anar al Burgos és garantia.
Going to Burgos is a guarantee.
Mira, la gent.
Look, the people.
La gent.
The people.
Pst.
Pst.
Què us he de dir?
What should I tell you?
Pst.
Pst.
Ara, sí que he notat una mica una cosa així, no?
Now, I have indeed noticed something like that, right?
Perquè la meva sogra, que fa un any que ens falta, mos estimem molt de tenir una sogra
Because my mother-in-law, who has been gone for a year, is very much loved as a mother-in-law.
tan bona.
so good.
Perquè, clar, li vaig robar la nena.
Because, of course, I stole the girl from him.
Clar.
Of course.
La seua nena.
His girl.
La nineta dels ulls.
The apple of the eye.
Clar.
Of course.
Anàvem al pueblo.
We were going to the village.
Perquè sempre hi ha un pueblo, no?
Because there is always a village, right?
Però vas al pueblo.
But you go to the town.
A la Vorebe.
To the Vorebe.
La zona de les Magdalenes Martínez.
The area of the Magdalenes Martínez.
Mira.
Look.
Per allí, saps?
Over there, you know?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Vale.
Okay.
Tu ets més de boig, sí.
You are more of a crazy person, yes.
Sí.
Yes.
I aleshores, cada any jo me presentava a les amigues, que eren les mateixes, com que no
And then, every year I would introduce myself to the friends, who were the same, as if not.
se'n recordaven.
They remembered it.
Mira, te presento a un ullerno tal i qual, se llama Jaime tal i qual.
Look, let me introduce you to a guy named Jaime.
És català.
It's Catalan.
Oh!
Oh!
Home!
Home!
Ui, que boig, eh?
Wow, that's crazy, huh?
I, ara m'ho enciten en català.
I, now they excite me in Catalan.
Això ho veuran, a Burgos.
They will see this in Burgos.
Ho entenem amb les amistats i les famílies.
We understand it with friendships and families.
I aleshores, clar, em torna a explicar i em diu...
And then, of course, he explains to me again and tells me...
És català.
It is Catalan.
I fent ui!
I making a noise!
Ui, ui, ui, ui...
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Bé, és que jo li dic a Aurora, no diga més que sóis català.
Well, I tell Aurora, don't say anymore that you are Catalan.
Jo ja no ho parlaré.
I will no longer talk about it.
Ja no ho hablaré.
I won't talk about it anymore.
I així d'allò, eh?
And so from that, huh?
I bé, ho hem...
And well, we have...
Jo sé que no pots callar, Jaume.
I know you can't be quiet, Jaume.
Però ara no parlo, eh?
But now I won't speak, okay?
No dic ni sí perquè no es noti, el dè впit!
I'm not saying yes or no so it doesn't show, the pain!
Home, capu!
Home, turtle!
Vec semblar una mica tontet
I seem a bit silly.
però bueno, de moment passo un mes
but well, for now I'm taking a month off
d'invents
of inventions
Ens diuen que no calli
They tell us not to be silent.
i m'ho crec
I believe it.
Quina és la típica broma
What is the typical joke?
de cunyat de fotògraf?
brother-in-law of a photographer?
A cada gram hi ha una
For every gram, there is one.
Mira el pajarito
Look at the little bird.
Per què es diu Lluís?
Why is he called Lluís?
Perquè rius
Why are you laughing?
Pensa en la cara
Think about the face.
Lluís
Lluís
Si es diu Ramon
If he is called Ramon.
però també es podria dir Eloi
but it could also be said Eloi
Eloi també, sempre busques aquesta I
Eloi too, you always search for this I.
aquesta G
this G
Llavors perquè patata
Then why potato?
Patata perquè el que va dir patata
Potato because what he said potato.
no sé el que pensava
I don't know what I was thinking.
Era aficionat
He was a fan.
A veure, jo tinc
Let's see, I have.
per fer una bona foto
to take a good photo
has de ser molt psicòleg
you must be very psychological
Aleshores, si us he retratat a tots
Then, if I have portrayed all of you
si us heu fixat
if you have noticed
us distrec per fer la foto
I distract you to take the picture.
La poesia
The poetry
Ai, fes-me'n un altre
Oh, make me another one.
que no sé, no sé
that I don't know, I don't know
Hi ha gent molt indecisa
There are very indecisive people.
I llavors, clar
And then, of course.
I un altre, i un altre
And another one, and another one
Et prepares i és quan quedes malament
You prepare yourself and that's when you end up looking bad.
Perquè no sabies que te l'anava a fer
Because you didn't know I was going to do it for you.
I llavors, la primera
And then, the first
Jo penso per dintre
I think to myself.
La poesia congelada
The frozen poetry
Tres persones esperant-se
Three people waiting for each other
aquí, aquí, d'allò
here, here, of that
Però bé, l'important que surtis content o contenta
But well, the important thing is that you come out happy.
Això mateix
Exactly that.
Iep
Hey
I això
And this
Una mica buscar la psicologia
A little searching for psychology.
Exacte
Exact.
Ara he pensat
Now I have thought
Pot ser que el que digués patata
It may be that what I said was potato.
fos un avançat a l'època
was ahead of its time
Perquè clar, tu t'esperes una cosa de dir
Because of course, you expect something to say.
I...
I...
I ell va dir
And he said
No, no, ara diré una cosa
No, no, now I will say something.
però que no entendran
but they will not understand
i riuran de la tonteria que he dit
And they will laugh at the nonsense I said.
I llavors van riure de veritat
And then they really laughed.
Ojo, eh
Watch out, huh.
És que penso que una cosa
It's just that I think that one thing.
és el que es posa de moda
it's what becomes trendy
Patata, patata
Potato, potato
Vale
Okay
I l'altra és realment
And the other one is really
en una situació clau
in a key situation
que és de mil·lèsimes de segon
which is of milliseconds
Perquè clar
Because clearly
Pensa que si estàs en una situació clau
Think that if you are in a key situation.
Si fas una persona sola
If you make a person alone
és molt fàcil
it's very easy
Però si fas un grup
But if you make a group
I tots t'han de quedar bé
And everyone has to turn out well for you.
Has de tindre l'habilitat psicològica
You must have psychological skill.
A veure, la meva especialitat
Let's see, my specialty
és agafar 200 persones d'una boda
it's to take 200 people from a wedding
i posar-los tots en una foto
and put them all in a photo
Amb un temps record
In record time
de 3, 4, 5 minuts
of 3, 4, 5 minutes
A veure com ho fas això
Let's see how you do this.
Amb l'escala
With the ladder
Hem pujat a dalt de l'escala
We have climbed to the top of the stairs.
Sí, l'escala
Yes, the ladder.
Emparrat d'alguna persona
Trellis of someone
Com ja ho he vist
As I have already seen it.
Vull dir, m'ho monto com sigui
I mean, I'll manage it somehow.
I inclús una vegada
I once even
vaig pujar amb un capó del cotxe
I got in with a car hood.
Se'm va caure la bateria
I dropped my battery.
Vaig trencar el vidre del cotxe
I broke the car window.
Perquè anàvem amb un patacot de bateries
Because we were carrying a load of batteries.
perquè anàvem amb doble flash
because we were going with double flash
Parlo de principis d'aquest segle
I'm talking about the beginnings of this century.
Finals de l'anterior
End of the previous one
I l'amo del segle
And the master of the century.
Del cotxe
Of the car
Que era el padrino
What was the godfather?
Ha estat contentíssim
He has been extremely happy.
Perquè li vaig dir
Because I told him/her.
A qui li he de portar el cotxe?
Who do I have to bring the car to?
Al Ton Ferran
To Ton Ferran
Amics Ferran
Friends Ferran
Planxisteria Ferran
Laundry Ferran
Ostres, qui són aquests?
Wow, who are these?
És aquell que vaig portar
It's the one I brought.
I vaig conèixer la meva dona
I met my wife.
I aleshores
And then
Li vaig canviar un vidre
I changed a glass for him/her.
Clar, a pagar el seguro
Of course, to pay the insurance.
I estem assegurats
And we are insured.
Perquè puc fer mal
Because I can hurt.
A la nòvia
To the girlfriend
Puc fer mal a algú
I can hurt someone.
Vaig fer servir per primer cop
I used it for the first time.
L'assegurança que teníem
The insurance we had.
De reportatges socials
Of social reports
Perquè li vam canviar
Because we changed it for him/her.
Tot el vidre frontal del cotxe
All the front glass of the car
I li vam posar
And we put it on him/her.
Un degradat per a sol
A degraded for the sun
I aquest senyor encara ve
And does this gentleman still come?
I encara m'ho agraeix
And still thanks me for it.
Diu, tinc un altre cotxe
He says, I have another car.
Per si vols trencar el vidre
In case you want to break the glass.
I no, no
And no, no
Sempre has de treure
You always have to take out.
El cantó millor
The best corner.
Perquè és un record
Because it is a memory.
Jaume, si no fossis fotògraf
Jaume, if you weren't a photographer.
Jo penso que series molt bo
I think you would be very good.
Saps aquells que fan els concursos
Do you know those who hold the contests?
Dels gossos d'atura?
About herding dogs?
Ah, sí
Ah, yes
Tancues les ovelles
You close the sheep.
És que no em suïa el nom
It's just that the name didn't ring a bell.
Coloma, Coloma
Coloma, Coloma
Seria molt bo això
That would be very good.
Vas ordenant això a la multitud
You are arranging this for the crowd.
Sí, sí, ja els hi faig
Yes, yes, I'll do it for them.
Sí, ja els hi faig
Yes, I will do it for them.
És que jo ho veig
It's just that I see it.
Ho estic veient
I am seeing it.
Tinc una deformació
I have a deformity.
Tinc una deformació professional
I have a professional deformation.
Tot el que m'imagino ho veig
Everything I imagine, I see.
I ho avaloro
I value it.
Sí, sí, no?
Yes, yes, right?
Sí
Yes
El fet que tothom et relacioni
The fact that everyone relates to you.
Amb la teva feina
With your work
Per tu és com un elogi
For you, it's like a compliment.
O fins i tot és una puta?
Or is she even a whore?
És que a mi només em relacionen com al fotògraf
It's just that I am only associated as the photographer.
I soc molt més que això
I am much more than this.
No he caigut mai
I have never fallen.
Jo soc un amic més
I am just another friend.
No soc un company
I am not a colleague.
Saps que soc fotògraf
You know that I am a photographer.
I si et convé que et posi un quadre a casa
And if it suits you for me to put a painting in your house.
O et canviï l'instal·lació
Or change the installation.
Doncs no cal que m'ho diguis
Well, you don't have to tell me that.
També pinto parets
I also paint walls.
És manetes
He is handy.
No, soc imperatiu
No, I am imperative.
He descobert la cuina
I have discovered cooking.
Ah, mira
Ah, look.
Eh, eh, eh, oe no
Hey, hey, hey, oh no
Hòstia, tu, disfruta com una bèstia
Wow, man, enjoy like a beast.
Ara és cuineta
Now it’s cooking time.
No, no, no, disfruto
No, no, no, I enjoy.
Va amb l'edat, es veu
It comes with age, you can tell.
Fas iaio, llavors
You're a grandpa, then.
Plata estrelles, home
Silver stars, man.
Plata estrelles
Silver stars
Allò que dius
What you say
La truita francesa
The French omelette
Tinc una bitxissua
I have a little something.
Personalizada
Personalized
Tinc ara uns canelons de la mama
I have some cannelloni from mom now.
De la iaia Nuri
From Grandma Nuri
Que els feia la meva mare
What my mother used to make for them.
I jo els he intentat imitar
And I have tried to imitate them.
Perquè pobre no
Because poor not
M'ho ha agafat un Alzheimer pobre
I have been hit by a poor Alzheimer's.
I dic
I say
La vaig gravar encara quan
I recorded her even when
Potser em va dir un ingredient més
Maybe he/she told me one more ingredient.
Que també l'hi poso
I’ll put it on him too.
Que em va dir que hi posés pastanaga
He told me to add carrot.
Jo hi poso pastanaga
I put carrot in it.
No sé si en aquell moment
I don't know if at that moment
Ell era conscient
He was aware.
Que si anava a pastanaga
That if he/she was going to carrot.
Però jo hi poso pastanaga
But I put carrot in it.
I clar, els primers
And of course, the first ones
Em vaig passar amb la pastanaga
I overdid it with the carrot.
Era tot
It was everything.
Pastanaga
Carrot
Canelons de pastanaga
Carrot cannelloni
Però ara ja
But now already
Puc dir
I can say
T'ho poden dir els últims convidats
The last guests can tell you.
Il·lustres que vaig tindre a casa
Illustrious people I had at home.
Que em van
What they are going to do to me
Jo, Maria
I, Maria
Jo, Ari
I, Ari
No, no, no, no
No, no, no, no.
Sí, sí, sí
Yes, yes, yes
Bueno, sí, sí
Well, yes, yes
Doncs tots aquests
Well, all these
I cada dia que em veuen pel carrer
And every day that they see me in the street
Hasta els hi han dit
Even they have been told.
A la meva estimada
To my beloved
Que els meus canelons
That my cannelloni
Són de Déu
They are of God.
Hòstia
Holy shit
Hòstia, hòstia
Holy cow, holy cow.
Molt bé
Very well
Sí, sí
Yes, yes
Ja us convidaré
I will invite you all.
I al Josep Maria també
And to Josep Maria as well.
I al Josep Maria i a l'Ari també
And to Josep Maria and Ari too.
Doncs
Well then
Em sembla que ja anem acabant
It seems to me that we are nearing the end.
La tertúlia
The gathering
Perquè ara comencen
Because now they start
Les seccionetes
The little sections
I començarem
And we will begin.
Amb l'home
With the man
Que et va dictar
What did it dictate to you?
Sentència
Sentence
Abans d'hora
Before time
Sí
Yes
Som-hi
Let's go!
A veure
Let's see
Ara volem descansar un moment
Now we want to rest for a moment.
Molt bé
Very good
D'acord, doncs Jaume
Alright, then Jaume.
És moment
It's time.
El meu moment
My moment
Ara el cara a cara
Now the face to face.
Me poso a sèrio
I'm getting serious.
Com vulguis
As you wish.
Jo
I
Primer tinc una cosa preparada
First, I have a thing prepared.
Després si vols explicar
Later if you want to explain.
El que ha passat
What has happened
Com ho has superat
How have you overcome it?
Perquè
Because
Has tingut un infart
You have had a heart attack.
No, però no he superat
No, but I have not overcome.
No has superat
You have not passed.
Home, sí
Yes, home.
No
No
M'han enviat
They have sent me.
M'han enviat al psiquiatre
I have been sent to the psychiatrist.
Perquè diu que és molt serió
Because he says he is very serious.
Això que m'ha agafat
This that has taken hold of me
Bueno, però
Well, but
Però millor que
But better than
Millor que quedar-t'hi
Better than staying there.
No, no
No, no.
A veure
Let's see.
De tot
Of everything
Penso que
I think that
Que ho puguis explicar
That you can explain it.
Exacte
Exactly
Aquí estem
Here we are.
Sí, sí
Yes, yes
Doncs llavors
Well then
Jo
I
Des que
Since that
El que va passar
What happened
El primer programa d'aquest any
The first program of this year.
Vols posar la gent en context
Do you want to put people in context?
La gent en context
People in context
És
It is
Vam fer
We did
Una
One
Una porra
A club أو a baton
De veure
To see
Qui creiem
Who do we believe?
Que es moriria aquest any
That would die this year.
Sí
Yes
Que no vaig passar
That I did not pass.
De Bruce Willis
Of Bruce Willis
Jo
I
Perquè em va entrar un client
Because a client walked in on me.
I clar
And clear
Vaig sortir
I went out.
Dic bueno
I say good.
Dic s'ha acabat
I say it's over.
Dic no ho torno a posar
I say I'm not putting it back on.
Perquè us segueixo
Because I follow you
Sóc el primer seguidor
I am the first follower.
Que ho he tingut mai
That I have never had.
Nada menos
Nothing less
Com ens agrada
As we like it
Sí
Yes
I el matem
And the mathematician.
El primer seguidor
The first follower
Mateu el seguidor
Kill the follower.
Que teniu aquí
What do you have here?
Dels likes
Of the likes
Doncs això
Well, that's it.
El que vam dir era
What we said was
Que
What
Ho he sentit
I have heard it.
Creiem que es moriria
We believe that he would die.
Jo vaig dir
I said
Que es moriria
That he would die.
Jaume aquest any
Jaume this year
Però no volia
But I didn't want to.
Que et morissis
May you die.
No, no, no
No, no, no
Tinc clar
I am clear.
Tinc tot gravat
I have everything recorded.
Volia un cap gros teu
I wanted a big head of yours.
Sí
Yes
Amb una peluca aquesta
With a wig like this
Sí
Yes
No, no
No, no
Ja, ja
Ha, ha
Mira el que xondo
Look at what I'm talking about.
Després d'aquest temps
After this time
I de tot el que ha passat
And of everything that has happened.
He
He
Escrit una carta
Write a letter.
T'he escrit una carta
I have written you a letter.
Demana'm perdó
Forgive me.
Ara em fotrà plorar
Now it's going to make me cry.
Si em deixes
If you let me
Sóc sensible
I am sensitive.
Deixi la carta
Leave the letter.
No, però no
No, but no.
No t'ho perdono
I don't forgive you.
Que m'has fet estar viu
You have made me feel alive.
Què dius, ara
What are you saying now?
Que deixeixi la carta
Let him leave the letter.
Va, anem amb la carta
Come on, let's go with the letter.
D'acord
Okay
Marimar un bocador
Marimar a biter
Fiquem
Let's put in
Fiquem música
Let's put on some music.
Trista
Sad
Melancòlica
Melancholic
Mira com m'ha agafat
Look how it has caught me.
No la posarem
We won't put it on.
En postproducció
In post-production
Si els editors
If the editors
Se n'enrecorden
Do you remember?
Començo
I start.
D'acord
Okay
Estimat Jaume Soler
Dear Jaume Soler
Perdó
Sorry
Estimat Jaume
Dear Jaume
Som amics
We are friends.
Sí
Yes
Mira
Look
No et puc enganyar
I can't deceive you.
Jaume
Jaume
Que tenia
What did he/she have?
Una carta escrita
A written letter
Que m'havia fet
What had I done to myself?
Al xat GPT
To the GPT chat
Però
But
No em puc sentir perdonat
I can't feel forgiven.
Si el que
If what
El que et dic
What I'm telling you
T'ho diu
It tells you.
Una màquina
A machine
De dir que
To say that
Miré a lo personal
I looked at the personal.
Miré
I looked.
El que ens toca
What touches us
De prop
Close up
Vale, Jaume
Okay, Jaume.
Espero que amb aquesta carta
I hope that with this letter
Et trobi
I find you.
Doncs
Well
Amb un bon estat de forma
In good shape.
Amb un bon estat d'ànim
In a good mood
Malgrat
Despite
El que va passar
What happened
No saberé
I will not know.
Quin dia
What day
Té de gener
Has January
Però
But
Abans de tot
Before everything
Permet
Allow
Per
For
Permet-me
Allow me.
Expressar la meva sincera disculpa
Express my sincere apology.
Pel desafortunat pronòstic
Due to the unfortunate forecast
Bé, paro
Okay, I'll stop.
Que
What
Això és molt escrit al xat GPT
This is very written in the chat GPT.
Res
Nothing
Veig que els meus talents
I see that my talents
De pronosticador
Of forecaster
De adivino
As a guesser.
Són bastant dolents
They are quite bad.
Com tota aquella gent
Like all those people
Que passa per davant
What happens in front?
De la plaça major
From the main square
Bueno, per la plaça major
Well, through the main square.
I no para a veure
And it doesn't stop to see.
El teu aparador
Your showcase
Com ha canviat
How it has changed
La gent que no para un minut
The people who don't stop for a minute.
A veure l'aparador
Let's see the window display.
Del Jaume
From Jaume
Soler
Soler
A més són dolents
Moreover, they are bad.
Són dolents
They are bad.
Ho noto perquè
I notice it because
Els meus amics
My friends
Estan bruts
They are dirty.
I quan deixen d'estar bruts
And when do they stop being dirty?
Ja he de canviar les fotos
I have to change the photos now.
Ah, és bo això
Ah, that's good.
Llavors, Jaume
Then, Jaume
Vaig dir que tant tenen idees
I said that they both have ideas.
Només volia fer una broma inofensiva
I just wanted to make a harmless joke.
I no llançar una maledicció
And not cast a curse.
Ni posar a prova
Not to put to the test.
Els teus nervis
Your nerves
I ni el teu cor
And neither your heart.
No tenia ni idea
I had no idea.
Que les meves paraules
May my words
Podrien resultar
They could result.
El que han pogut ser
What they could have been
Evidentment
Obviously
Els meus comentaris
My comments
Van ser del tot inadequats
They were completely inappropriate.
I desconsiderats
And inconsiderate ones
De fet
In fact
No només els meus
Not only mine.
Perquè
Because
Diem que aquest any
We say that this year
Bueno
Good.
No endivinem mai
We never guess.
Amb aquesta porra
With this club.
Però aquest any
But this year
Vam dir que
We said that
Mataríem el papa de Roma
We would kill the Pope of Rome.
Està fotut
He's in trouble.
Vam dir que mataríem
We said we would kill.
Els xoques
The shocks
Va tenir una lesió
He/She had an injury.
Entrenant
Training
Al gimnàs
At the gym
A Carles III
To Charles III
De l'Anglaterra
From England
Li han diagnosticat càncer
They have diagnosed him/her with cancer.
I al Bruce Willis
And to Bruce Willis
Que té afàgia
That has aphagia.
Tothom
Everyone
Tothom està fotut
Everyone is screwed.
Aquest any
This year
Però tu, Jaume
But you, Jaume
Tu
You
Tu ets diferent
You are different.
Has aconseguit superar-ho
You have managed to overcome it.
I a més a més
And furthermore
Em fas broma
You're joking me.
Això és digne
This is worthy.
D'admirar
To admire
És com qui
It's like someone
Porta setmanes
It has been weeks.
Sense anar al cau
Without going to the den
I apareix un dissabte a la tarda
And appears on a Saturday afternoon.
Amb el cal començar
With what must begin
Tendre com si res
Tender as if nothing.
I no li sap greu
And he doesn't feel sorry.
Això també és admirar
This is also to admire.
Eh?
Eh?
Césarri?
Césarri?
Però si hi ha una cosa
But if there is one thing
Que he après
What I have learned
D'aquesta situació
From this situation
És que tens un esperit
It's just that you have a spirit.
Fort i valent
Strong and brave
Capaç de resistir
Capable of resisting
Fins i tot
Even
Les prediccions
The predictions
Més afortunades
More fortunate
De fet
In fact
Mirant de forma introspectiva
Looking introspectively
Ara sé
Now I know.
Que és millor
What is better?
Que em quedi
Let me stay.
En què em dediqui
What I dedicate myself to
A activitats
To activities
Més
More
Tranquiles
Calm down.
Que no
No way
Suposin risca a ningú
I suppose it doesn't bother anyone.
Com per exemple
As for example
És mirar
It is to look.
Les tres fotos
The three photos
De la nova tarda
Of the new afternoon
Sí
Yes
I
I
Que sí
Yes.
Que són fotos
What are photos?
Que algunes
That some
Són activitats
They are activities.
Que ningú sap
That nobody knows.
Que es fan
What are they doing?
A part dels que hi ha allà
Apart from those who are there
Actes avorrits
Boring acts
I altres fotos
And other photos
De coses
About things
Molt bones
Very good
I sí
And yes
He dit
I have said.
Veure les fotos
See the photos
Perquè sortir les fotos
To develop the photos.
Jo cada vegada
I every time
Que em demanes una foto
That you ask me for a photo.
O estic per allà
Or I’m around there.
Em canso
I'm tired.
Perquè et bec a tu
Because I drink to you.
I dic
I say
És que no aguanto
I can't stand it.
No pare
Don't stop.
Però bueno
But well
Això
This
Eh
Eh
Seguim amb les disculpes
We continue with the apologies.
Que és el que anàvem
What is it that we were going?
No vull fer bromes
I don't want to make jokes.
Ara que t'estàs recuperant
Now that you are recovering
Et prometo
I promise you.
Que seré el primer
That I will be the first.
A demanar
To ask
Que organitzem
What do we organize
Una festa
A party
Per celebrar
To celebrate
Que estem vius
That we are alive.
I sí
And yes
Jaume
Jaume
Sí
Yes
Una festa
A party
Perquè tu i jo
Because you and I
Encara que no sàpigues
Even if you don't know
Tu i jo
You and I
Jaume
James
Som amics
We are friends.
Sí
Yes
Perquè sempre has estat
Because you have always been
A la meva vida
In my life
Jo a la teva
I to yours.
No tant
Not so much.
Però és igual
But it doesn't matter.
Perquè em vas fer
Why did you make me?
La primera foto
The first photo
De l'UNI
From the UNI
La segona
The second
La tercera
The third
La quarta ja no
The fourth one no longer.
Perquè vaig dir
Because I said
Potser li he dit allò
Maybe I told him that.
Espero
I hope.
Vaig amb una altra
I'm going with another one.
I vaig dir
I said
Què passa
What's happening?
M'has revelat
You have revealed to me.
Fotos dels àlbums
Photos of the albums
Que estan per casa
They are at home.
Sí
Yes
Som amics
We are friends.
Jaume
Jaume
Som amics
We are friends.
Perquè cada any
Because every year
Que em venies a veure
That you were coming to see me.
Al Col·legi Sant Josep
At St. Joseph's School
A fer fotos
To take photos
Deies que venies
You said you were coming.
A fer fotos a la canalla
Taking photos of the children.
Però no
But no
Venies a veure-m'hi
You were coming to see me there.
Ho sé
I know
Jaume
James
Ho sé
I know.
Les fotos
The photos
Ai no
Oh no
Espera
Wait
Ah sí
Oh yes
Això
This
I per acabar
And to finish
Som veïns
We are neighbors.
Això
This
Ens fa més amics
It makes us more friends.
Que mai
That never
Sé de quin color
I know what color.
Són els teus gossos
They are your dogs.
Els dos blancs
The two whites
Petits
Small
I saps
And you know
Qui em va fer
Who made me
La foto
The photo
De les orles
Of the fringes
De segon de batxiller
From the second year of high school
No Jaume?
Not Jaume?
Tu
You
I saps
And you know
Qui em farà
Who will make me?
Les fotos
The photos
De la boda?
About the wedding?
Doncs encara no ho sé
Well, I still don't know.
Perquè em queda molt lluny
Because it is very far from me.
Recordialment
Cordially
Una abraçada
A hug
De l'Eloi Pla
From Eloi Pla
El teu nou amic
Your new friend
D'una postdata
From a postscript
El teu buc de cap gros
Your big-headed ship.
El segueixo volent
I still want him/her.
No cal que et moris
You don't have to die.
Podem tenir un cap gros
We can have a big head.
En vida
In life
Ja el tinc
I already have it.
I la meva pregunta
And my question
Ara respon-me tu Jaume
Now answer me, Jaume.
El faries amb
You would do it with
O sense pèl?
Or hairless?
Com vulguis
As you wish.
Com vulgui jo
As I wish.
Com vulguis tu
As you wish.
Com et sentiries?
How would you feel?
Home
Home
Cada moment
Every moment
Té la seva època
It has its time.
I cada època
And each era
Té el seu moment
It has its moment.
Vull dir
I mean
No
No
No em sento
I can't hear myself.
Que em veus bé
That you see me well.
Ah bueno
Oh well
No no
No no
A veure
Let's see.
Ara
Now
He descobert
I have discovered.
Que ara
That now
Me la toquen més
They touch it more for me.
La cabellera
The hair
No no
No no
I
I
Jo m'adapto
I adapt.
Perdonem el Eloi
We forgive Eloi.
És que m'ha tocat lo cor
It's that it has touched my heart.
Le puc fer una abraçada
Can I give you a hug?
Fem una abraçada
Let's hug.
Vinga
Come on
Ara
Now
Abraçada, abraçada.
Hug, hug.
Iai.
Granny.
Que ens sou de macos, que ens sou de macos.
How beautiful you are, how beautiful you are.
Ens tanqui el cercle.
Let the circle close.
És que això és...
It's just that this is...
M'ha tocat, m'ha tocat.
It has touched me, it has touched me.
És que ho vam dir, vam dir, quan...
It's just that we said it, we said it, when...
Vam dir...
We said...
Ah, però se'n va enterar, se'n va enterar
Ah, but he found out, he found out.
que el pronòstic...
that the forecast...
No, després...
No, afterwards...
Eh, des de la UCI, eh!
Eh, from the ICU, eh!
Clar, que se'n va enterar en aquell moment
Of course, he found out at that moment.
i estava així, ploia de coses enganxades,
and it was like this, it rained with things stuck on,
aquí amb una bata, que s'havien mort
here with a robe, that they had died
tres o quatre...
three or four...
Sí, però amb la meva imaginació anava més enllà,
Yes, but with my imagination, I went further.
d'aquí la bata sol, aquí, tot sol,
from here the gown sun, here, all alone,
aquí...
here...
Tots coneguts, tots coneguts,
All acquaintances, all acquaintances,
perquè coneixer a tothom...
because to know everyone...
Tots de tàrrega, perquè el dilluns,
All from Tàrrega, because on Monday,
a urgències toca tàrrega, eh!
At emergencies, it’s Tàrrega, right!
Sí, tots érem coneguts!
Yes, we all knew each other!
Hòstia!
Holy shit!
Clar, i...
Sure, and...
La majoria...
The majority...
Però vam parlar tots, sí, sí.
But we all talked, yes, yes.
I tu allà entubat...
And you there, all tubed up...
No, entubat no, connectat, connectat.
No, connected not, connected, connected.
Clar, i jo no m'havia arribat.
Of course, and I hadn't arrived.
Jo un dia m'aixeco al matí, faig un missatge allà al mòbil,
One day I wake up in the morning, I send a message on my phone,
cabrona, sos quasi un Mateu!
bitch, you're almost a Mateu!
I dic, què? I jo et passo una captura a pantalla,
I say, what? And I’ll send you a screenshot,
tots diuen, mireu això!
Everyone says, look at this!
Sí, on no contestaven, jo m'estava morint!
Yes, where they weren't answering, I was dying!
Dic, a veure si em contesten abans no la guanyi!
I say, let's see if they respond to me before I win it!
No, no, no...
No, no, no...
Fins aquí la carta de perdó...
So far, the letter of apology...
A mi no, no m'ha de fer cap carta.
Not to me, I don't need him to write any letter.
Estic content de...
I am happy about...
De què penseu en mi, si m'heu fet
What do you think of me, if you have made me?
posar quatre likes més, ara.
put four more likes, now.
I tant, i tant...
Of course, of course...
I passem a la meva secció,
And we move on to my section,
que és un trom per tàrrega.
what is a trom for Tàrrega.
Benvingut, Jaume, a un trom per tàrrega.
Welcome, Jaume, to a trom for Tàrrega.
Una secció que té la intenció
A section that intends
d'arribar al punt més profund
to reach the deepest point
de la teva ànima perquè els simples mortals
of your soul so that mere mortals
puguem entendre què passa
we can understand what is happening
pel cap d'un geni i la seva
by the head of a genius and his
Canon EOS R6 Mark II
Canon EOS R6 Mark II
amb teleobjectiu,
with telephoto lens,
diafragma F8,
diaphragm F8,
enfocament manual i, sobretot,
manual focus and, above all,
sense el flash activat.
without the flash activated.
Estem d'acord?
Are we in agreement?
Vas cagada!
You messed up!
Home, sóc de Nikon!
Dude, I'm from Nikon!
Ah!
Ah!
Amb la meua Canon Nikon 800!
With my Canon Nikon 800!
Ho saps?
Do you know?
Tinc unes quantes.
I have a few.
O ets de Canon o ets de Nikon?
Are you a Canon person or a Nikon person?
Si fossis fotògraf, ho entendries, és com tot.
If you were a photographer, you would understand, it's like everything.
Ah, o ets del Madrid o ets del Barça.
Ah, you are either from Madrid or you are from Barça.
Sí, va, sóc de Nikon.
Yes, come on, I'm from Nikon.
Doncs, benvingut!
Well, welcome!
Doncs benvingut, Jaume, a un trom per tàrrega.
Well welcome, Jaume, to a trom for Tàrrega.
Toc, toc, Jaume.
Knock, knock, Jaume.
Toc.
Touch.
Em deixes entrar dins de la teva ànima?
Will you let me inside your soul?
Sí, sí, ja fa rato que la teniu per aquí.
Yes, yes, you've had her around here for a while.
Doncs, entro cap dins, començo a fer ràpel
Well, I go inside, I start rappelling.
per les parets del teu cos, no entraré al cor perquè...
for the walls of your body, I will not enter the heart because...
Home, però ah, que el tinc bé!
Home, but ah, that I have it good!
Sí, bueno, però...
Yes, well, but...
No vull causar...
I don't want to cause...
No, no, no...
No, no, no...
Estic com un déu.
I am like a god.
Jaume, la vida s'estructura amb un tamboret de tres potes.
Jaume, life is structured like a three-legged stool.
Una representa els diners, l'altra la salut i l'altra l'amor.
One represents money, the other health, and the other love.
Quina és la pota més curta del teu tamboret?
Which is the shortest leg of your stool?
Els diners.
The money.
Els diners és la més curta?
Is money the shortest?
Sí, perquè...
Yes, because...
I t'ho explicarà la de Burgos, no?
The one from Burgos will explain it to you, right?
Jo disfruto tant que pagaria per fer lo que faig.
I enjoy it so much that I would pay to do what I do.
Pagaria, i clar, no...
I would pay, and of course, no...
Tot ho reinverteixes.
You reinvest everything.
Et passes tota la vida reinvertint perquè disfrutes, ho entens?
You spend your whole life reinvesting so you can enjoy, do you understand?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
No et faràs mai milionari amb jo.
You will never become a millionaire with me.
Però mai, mai.
But never, never.
Perquè sempre estic hipotecat.
Because I am always mortgaged.
Llavors els diners, per mi, els he tingut com...
Then money, for me, I have had it as...
Bueno, no els he tingut.
Well, I haven't had them.
La bicicleta és un mitjà de transport, però també pot representar
The bicycle is a means of transport, but it can also represent
el pas del temps per la vida.
the passage of time for life.
Tu, Jaume, entre tots els elements d'una bicicleta, quin series?
You, Jaume, among all the elements of a bicycle, which one would you be?
El manillar, els pedals, el timbre...
The handlebars, the pedals, the bell...
No, jo el pedal.
No, I pedal.
Jo sóc de pedal.
I am from pedal.
És de pedalar.
It is about pedaling.
Recentment, Jaume, has tingut, com ha dit l'Eloi, has patit un ictus.
Recently, Jaume has had, as Eloi said, a stroke.
No!
No!
No, un ictus no!
No, a stroke, no!
Fot-li que ara no m'ha donat l'ictus!
Go for it, because now I haven't had the stroke!
Què ha sigut?
What has happened?
Prediccions no, eh?
No predictions, huh?
Un infart.
A heart attack.
Ai, un infart.
Oh, a heart attack.
Més prediccions no.
No more predictions.
Perdó, perdó.
Sorry, sorry.
Com va ser? Com va ser?
How was it? How was it?
Quin susto, quin susto.
What a scare, what a scare.
Ja m'ha agafat un ictus.
I've already had a stroke.
Com va ser? Com va ser?
How was it? How was it?
Mira, mira, va ser vist des de la perspectiva, va ser acollonant.
Look, look, it was seen from the perspective, it was incredible.
Acabàvem de vindre de fer un cap de setmana molt estressant a Burgos.
We had just come back from a very stressful weekend in Burgos.
Sempre a Burgos.
Always in Burgos.
Sempre, i vaig gravar tot en vídeo, bé, de tots els vídeos, els mòbils i tal,
Always, and I recorded everything on video, well, of all the videos, the phones and such,
vaig mostrar una pel·li.
I showed a movie.
Cal dir que la pel·li era coprotagonista, a part de productor.
It must be said that the film was co-starring, apart from being a producer.
Nadem era l'Immon Roux.
We swam with the Immon Roux.
D'acord? Vinga.
Okay? Come on.
Recordeu que era pel Carnaval.
Remember it was for Carnival.
D'acord.
Okay.
I ens ho vam passar tan bé, dic, muntem un vídeo.
And we had such a great time that I said, let's make a video.
Bé, muntem el vídeo, és un dilluns, dia 5 de febrer, a les 7 de la tarda.
Well, we are recording the video, it's a Monday, February 5th, at 7 in the evening.
I clar, ja sabeu que tinc una secretària que es diu Ebe.
Of course, you already know that I have a secretary named Ebe.
Ebe, t'estimo molt.
Ebe, I love you very much.
Som com un matrimoni malvingut.
We are like a troubled marriage.
I dic, vine, Ebe, que t'ensenyo com m'ha quedat, que et faràs un fart de riurer.
I say, come, Ebe, I'll show you how it turned out, you're going to have a blast laughing.
Mos ho mirem i plorarem tots dos.
We'll look at it and both cry.
I jo començo.
And I'll start.
Ai, que m'infarto!
Oh, I'm going to have a heart attack!
Se'm van rampar.
They got tangled up on me.
Us ho juro, eh? Se'm van rampar.
I swear to you, okay? They climbed on me.
Clar, tu no saps que és un infart.
Sure, you don't know what a heart attack is.
No, és que jo volia saber quina sensació tens.
No, I just wanted to know what feeling you have.
Clar, què et diuen un infart? Que és el braç?
Of course, what does a heart attack tell you? That it's the arm?
Que no saps mai si és el dret o l'esquerra?
You never know if it's the right or the left?
Que és el braç? Que és una pressió al pit?
What is the arm? What is chest pressure?
No, no.
No, no.
Saps quan se t'adorm un braç o una cama?
Do you know when your arm or leg falls asleep?
Pues, ojo, eh?
Well, watch out, okay?
Jo a vegades estic al cine i se m'adormen les mans.
Sometimes I am at the cinema and my hands fall asleep.
Ojo, pot ser un infart, eh?
Watch out, it could be a heart attack, huh?
Perquè, clar, és la mateixa sensació, però a lo bèstia.
Because, of course, it's the same feeling, but in an extreme way.
I llavors se me'n rampa això i aquí el pols.
And then this cramps me up and here the pulse.
Clar, com que soc raro.
Of course, since I'm weird.
Clar, i li dic a l'escriptor.
Of course, and I tell the writer.
Ai, que m'infarto!
Oh, I'm going to have a heart attack!
Clar, com que sempre faig conya.
Of course, since I'm always joking.
Eh, va!
Hey, come on!
La secretària també està en un altre lloc que té gent administrativa i tal.
The secretary is also in another place that has administrative staff and such.
I diu, no fotis, que aquest matí se'ns ha infartat una senyora.
And he says, no way, that this morning a lady had a heart attack on us.
Dic, no, foto, no.
I say, no, photo, no.
Dic, a veure, porta aigua.
I say, let's see, bring water.
Foto aigua, que va pitjor.
Water photo, which is worse.
Marejat com una sopa.
Dizzy as a soup.
Començo a beure pampallugues.
I start to drink flashes.
No s'ha desmaiat mai?
Have you never fainted?
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Eh, pues això.
Eh, well, that's it.
I no penses que és un infart.
And you don't think it's a heart attack?
Penses que t'has intoxicat o t'has entrat alguna cosa malament.
Do you think you have food poisoning or that you've ingested something bad?
Un corte de digestió, jo què sé.
A stomach cramp, I don't know.
I llavors vas pensant, a veure, que t'has fotut.
And then you start thinking, let's see, that you’ve messed up.
Que si m'he begut aigua.
Whether I have drunk water.
I llavors et dic, truca al 112.
And then I tell you, call 112.
I truca a la meva estimada.
I call my beloved.
Però estàs conscient encara?
But are you still aware?
Sí.
Yes.
Tota l'estona vas estar conscient?
Were you aware the whole time?
Tota l'estona.
All the time.
Però ja està al punt de dir, ah, adiós, que me boi.
But it's already at the point of saying, oh, goodbye, I'm leaving.
I llavors, clar, em vaig tirar a terra.
And then, of course, I threw myself on the ground.
Si ho he estat al meu estudi i tal, tinc un sofà al final.
If I have been in my studio and such, I have a sofa at the end.
Em vaig tirar les potetes amunt.
I threw my little legs up.
L'R2 em va vindre a dir, amo, que estàs...
The R2 came to tell me, master, that you are...
Que no la guanyés, cara d'això.
That he wouldn't win it, face of that.
I llavors, clar, aquell quart d'hora de l'ambulància,
And then, of course, that quarter of an hour for the ambulance,
vindre, se'n va fer a terra.
come, it was done on the ground.
Perquè cada vegada està pitjor, pitjor, pitjor.
Because it is getting worse, worse, worse.
Més marejat.
More dizzy.
No, no, fatal.
No, no, terrible.
I em feia tant mal.
It hurt me so much.
I dic, i em feia mal aquí, també.
I said, and it hurt me here, too.
Però com si t'apretessin.
But as if they were squeezing you.
No, no, una rampa.
No, no, a ramp.
Una rampa forta.
A steep ramp.
I tu paties per la teva vida o no?
And did you suffer for your life or not?
No.
No.
No has de patir per la teva vida.
You don't have to worry about your life.
Si estàs viu, todavia estàs viu.
If you are alive, you are still alive.
Com patiràs per la teva vida?
How will you suffer for your life?
Quan t'ho han donat un diagnòstic clar o t'has mort?
When have they given you a clear diagnosis or have you died?
Llavors...
Then...
Clar, no ho sabies.
Of course, you didn't know.
No sabies què era.
You didn't know what it was.
Clar, si no has tingut mai un infart, com pots saber?
Of course, if you've never had a heart attack, how can you know?
A més a més, faig una vida saludable.
Furthermore, I lead a healthy life.
No he fumat mai.
I have never smoked.
No bec.
No, because.
Sempre bec amb la mateixa de burgo.
I always drink with the same drunkenness.
Vull dir, no ho sé.
I mean, I don't know.
Una cosa normal, no?
A normal thing, right?
I d'això llavors, arribé de l'ambulància, puf.
And from that then, I arrived from the ambulance, puff.
Ambulància, sirenes...
Ambulance, sirens...
Què passa?
What's happening?
Estic al mig de la plaça Major.
I am in the middle of the Main Square.
Tots deuen ser al darrere mirant allà l'aparador.
They must all be at the back looking at the display there.
I allà, entra gent a la botiga.
And there, people enter the store.
No, és que el Jaume en aquest moment no s'hi pot posar.
No, it's just that Jaume can't get into it right now.
Li deia a la secretària, ho sentia.
He told the secretary, he was sorry.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
I sí.
And yes.
Basta que d'això, coi, no entra mai ningú.
Enough of this, damn it, no one ever comes in.
Ah!
Ah!
No entra gent.
No one is coming in.
Bueno, és un dia.
Well, it's a day.
Aleshores, me'n recordo que aquell noi deia, què d'això, que...
Then, I remember that that boy was saying, what about this, that...
Bueno, em feia preguntes.
Well, it was asking me questions.
Jo, diu, home, m'estic morint.
I, he says, man, I am dying.
I llavors sí que em buscava.
And then yes, he/she was looking for me.
Em veia les mans blanquis, blanquis, com aquest papí.
I saw my hands pale, pale, like this paper.
Hòstia.
Holy moly.
Blanquis.
Blanquis.
I que li deien a la secretària que em volien mirar el sucre.
And they told the secretary that they wanted to check my blood sugar.
Es veu que quan d'això et miren el sucre.
It seems that when they look at your sugar.
Diu, apret, apret.
He says, squeeze, squeeze.
No em sortia res.
Nothing was coming out.
Bueno.
Good.
Mentre estàvem parlant amb la Marimar i tal, m'hi he passat uns 40 minuts.
While we were talking with Marimar and such, I spent about 40 minutes there.
Encara no.
Not yet.
I em començava a passar.
I was starting to get carried away.
Estava potes en l'aire i em començava a passar.
I was upside down and it was starting to happen to me.
I veus que han passat els 40 minuts.
And you see that 40 minutes have passed.
Puf!
Phew!
I marxa del tot.
And it completely leaves.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Del tot.
Absolutely.
Clar, tenia les artèries apunyades.
Of course, I had my arteries stabbed.
I, clar, devia passar alguna cosa.
I, of course, something must have happened.
I aleshores, jo li dic al de l'ambulància.
And then, I tell the ambulance guy.
Diu, ja està, eh?
He says, that's it, right?
Perdona, eh?
Excuse me, huh?
Diu, com ja està?
He says, how is it already?
A la camilla.
On the stretcher.
Diu, com?
He says, how?
Sí.
Yes.
Em den el cap.
They are giving me a headache.
Que això pot ser d'això.
That this can be of that.
Que no sé què.
I don't know what.
Hi ha gent aquí fora.
There are people out here.
Diu, no.
He says, no.
Clar.
Sure.
I si ho diu la Marimar, la de Burgos.
And if Marimar says it, the one from Burgos.
Em diu, a la camilla.
He tells me, on the stretcher.
A la camilla.
On the stretcher.
Què passa?
What's happening?
Que llavors, perquè no em conegués la gent, tinc una gorra, saps?
So that people don't recognize me, I wear a cap, you know?
Una gorra.
A cap.
I em poso la gorra així.
I put on my cap like this.
Clar.
Of course.
A veure on sortim la gorra.
Let's see where we end up with the cap.
Que el Jaume Soler, clar.
That Jaume Soler, of course.
Que el Jaume Soler ja s'ha mort.
Jaume Soler has already died.
El que passa és que estem al poble, eh?
What happens is that we are in the village, right?
Jaume Soler no sé què.
Jaume Soler I don't know what.
Jaume Soler no sé quantos.
Jaume Soler I don't know how many.
Que està fotuta.
That is messed up.
Molt greu.
Very serious.
Que ho he vist.
I have seen it.
Ho he vist que sortia.
I saw him/her leaving.
La gorra.
The cap.
Sí.
Yes.
D'acord.
Okay.
Em porten el cap.
They are getting inside my head.
El cap està perfecte.
The head is perfect.
Cardiograma.
Electrocardiogram.
Més punxat.
More spiked.
Més calent.
Hotter.
Que només tinc dits a cada mà.
That I only have fingers on each hand.
Hosti.
Damn.
Que, que, que.
What, what, what.
No.
No.
I aleshores, la meva estimada Marimar, té un amic allí de la SEM i tal i qual.
And then, my dear Marimar, she has a friend there from the SEM and so on.
Diu, va, buscant aquest amic i tal i qual.
He says, come on, looking for this friend and so on.
Un metge.
A doctor.
I em torna a fer un altre cardiograma.
And he makes me do another electrocardiogram.
Això és el que recordo, eh?
This is what I remember, okay?
I, i, i diu, bueno, està tot bien.
And, and, and he says, well, everything is fine.
És que no sé què.
I don’t know what.
No sé quantos.
I don’t know how many.
Diu, vamos.
He says, let's go.
Sí.
Yes.
Diu, eh.
He says, eh.
Diu, jo.
Says, me.
No està bé.
It's not okay.
No està bé tot bé.
It's not okay, everything is fine.
Diu que no està bé tot bé.
He says that not everything is fine.
No està bé tot bé.
Not everything is fine.
Bueno, jo em sentia tot bé.
Well, I felt completely good.
Però els metges no.
But the doctors don't.
Els metges no.
The doctors no.
Diu, bueno, anem a.
He says, well, let's go.
Per, per, per d'això.
But, but, but for this.
Anem a.
Let's go.
Anem a Lleida.
We are going to Lleida.
Urgències.
Emergency.
Sí.
Yes.
Dic, hosti, demà surten els tractors.
I say, damn, tomorrow the tractors go out.
Hostia.
Holy shit.
El dia 6 a la matinà sortiran els tractors.
On the 6th in the morning, the tractors will go out.
I com que, per desgràcia pel meu pare, vaig tindre que anar tantes vegades a, ja sé
And since, unfortunately for my father, I had to go so many times to, I already know.
lo que passa, entre les urgències, entre que t'ho mirin i tot això i d'allò i d'això,
what happens, between the emergencies, between having it looked at and all this and that and this,
fins que surts, ja te'n vas a los tractors.
until you leave, you're already off to the tractors.
Pues sí.
Well, yes.
Vale.
Okay.
Què passa?
What's happening?
Que et lliguen.
That they tie you up.
Et lliguen aquí amb unes corretxes, a la camilla, perquè, clar, no t'ho vas aixís
They tie you here with some straps, to the stretcher, because, of course, you don't go like that.
tirat.
pulled.
No hi havia anat mai jo de copilot a les ambulàncies.
I had never been there as a co-pilot in the ambulances.
De parquet.
Of parquet.
Sí.
Yes.
Sempre anar al cotxe radere empaitant el meu pare i l'ambulanciero, no?
Always go to the car behind, chasing my father and the ambulance driver, right?
I llavors, em diu, li dic al del, un es queda allí, un tècnic es queda amb tu i l'altre
And then, he tells me, I tell the one from there, one stays there, a technician stays with you and the other.
és el que condueix.
it is the one who drives.
I li dic, escolta, imagina't lligat amb corretxes, eh.
And I tell him, listen, imagine being tied up with straps, huh.
Dic, escolta, així, eh.
I say, listen, like this, eh.
Dic, vols dir que què?
I say, do you mean what?
Dic, vols dir que caldria estar tan lligat?
I say, do you mean that it should be so tied up?
Dic, no podria estar sentat?
I say, couldn't I be sitting?
Què és que em trobes?
What do you think of me?
Em diu, no, perquè el protocol i tot això.
He tells me no, because of the protocol and all that.
Diu, imagina't que tenim un accident, eh, saps, que d'això i tal i qual.
He says, imagine that we have an accident, you know, like that and so on.
I jo, i jo anar pensant, perquè, clar, i jo torno a dir, jo ho veig.
And I, and I keep thinking, because, of course, and I say again, I see it.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Veig l'accident, veig la, l'hòstia, veig, sento el seroll, etcètera, i dic, escolta,
I see the accident, I see the, the crash, I see, I feel the noise, etcetera, and I say, listen,
dic, i si tenim un accident sobre la porta, marxa la, la camilla, i, i, jo no em puc
I say, and if we have an accident at the door, the stretcher leaves, and, and, I can't...
defensar.
to defend.
I diu, ha, ha, ha, amb aquestes ja havíem arribat.
And he says, ha, ha, ha, with these we had already arrived.
Hòstia, bueno, menys mal.
Damn, well, thank goodness.
Hem parlat a los viatges.
We have talked about the trips.
Menys mal.
Thank goodness.
A Ribollera, dic, tinc el meu fill, el que m'ha fet avi.
In Ribollera, I say, I have my son, who has made me a grandfather.
T'ha fet avi?
Have you become a grandfather?
L'Àlvar, que està d'enfermer d'urgències a la nau.
Álvar, who is the emergency nurse in the ward.
Ah, i així que.
Oh, is that so?
Està de baixa, eh.
He's on sick leave, isn't he?
Però el terremendo ja m'havia trucat a tots els seus companys, i em dic, arribo, el pare
But the earthquake had already called all its companions, and I say to myself, I'm coming, father.
de l'Àlvar, el pare de l'Àlvar.
of Álvar, the father of Álvar.
Em coneixien tots.
Everyone knew me.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Una vergonya.
A shame.
No vas fer cua, eh, jaume, no.
You didn't queue, did you, Jaume, no.
No vas estar-te dues hores al final.
You didn't stay for two hours in the end.
No, no, van ser, llavors va arribar la mare i mare, em posaven, jo em trobava bé, i
No, no, they were, then the mother arrived and mother, they would put me, I was feeling good, and
no fent proves, que si una radiografia, que si una eco, que si...
not doing tests, like if an x-ray, like if an ultrasound, like if...
Tot bé.
All good.
No, no, tot bé.
No, no, everything's fine.
Tot bé.
All good.
Diu ella que no.
She says no.
I em diu la doctora.
And the doctor tells me.
Tot bé.
All good.
Bueno, però jo em trobava bé, eh.
Well, I was feeling good, you know.
I tenia pressa perquè no em sortissin els altres dos.
I was in a hurry because I didn't want the other two to come out.
Em trobava bé.
I was feeling good.
I llavors, la doctora diu, admirarem les troponines.
And then, the doctor says, we will admire the troponins.
Us admiren mai les troponines?
Do troponins ever amaze you?
No, no.
No, no.
Quan t'hi diuen això, me'n vas a la ui.
When they tell you this, I'm going to the ui.
I diu, ostres, estàs a...
And he says, wow, you're at...
A 300.
A 300.
Hòstia, de puls.
Holy shit, like a pulse.
De pulso.
By pulse.
No, de troponines.
No, of troponins.
De troponines.
Of troponins.
No sé què és.
I don't know what it is.
Estàs flipant.
You are tripping.
No sé què de la sang.
I don't know what about the blood.
Diu, és un detector amb sang que detecta si has tingut un infart.
It says it's a blood detector that detects if you've had a heart attack.
I diu, hauries d'estar sent, però diu, no pateixis, que d'aquí tres hores...
And he says, you should be being, but he says, don't worry, that in three hours...
Diu, ostres, els tractors, tranquil, ja estarem, els tractors ja estan.
He says, wow, the tractors, don't worry, we'll be fine, the tractors are already here.
I d'aquí tres hores te'n farem un altre.
And in three hours we'll make another one for you.
Això a les 12, posa'ls tres allí esperant.
This at 12, put them three there waiting.
Esperant, mirant el mòbil, mirant a veure què feu.
Waiting, looking at the phone, watching to see what you’re doing.
D'acord.
Okay.
Bueno, arriben les tres i em ve l'autora i diu, ràpid, a la ubi.
Well, three o'clock arrives and the author comes to me and says, quick, to the ubi.
Dic, com?
I say, how?
Dic, s'ha equivocat.
I say, you are mistaken.
Diu, estàs a 800.
He says, you're at 800.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Au, a la ubi.
Come on, to the bus.
I la normal, la normal és dir, com et sent?
And the normal, the normal is to say, how do you feel?
Jo bé, jo em sentia bé, segons ells no.
I was fine, I felt good, but according to them, I was not.
Vale, jo em sentia com ara.
Okay, I felt like this before.
I no estaves nerviós tampoc.
And you weren't nervous either.
No, com ara.
No, like now.
No, vale, vale.
No, okay, okay.
Com ara.
Like now.
Bueno, no, no he estat mai a la ubi.
Well, no, I have never been to Ubi.
És guai, és guai, és guai.
It's cool, it's cool, it's cool.
És guai.
It's cool.
És super guai.
It's super cool.
Sí.
Yes.
Tots junts així, amiguetes.
All together like this, little friends.
Amiguetes.
Friends.
Amb aquesta bata, això sí, les bates.
With this robe, that's for sure, the robes.
Jo demano a la sanitat que posin bates noves.
I ask the health system to provide new gowns.
Que posin trajes, ja.
Let them wear suits, already.
Trajes, trajes.
Suits, suits.
Bueno.
Good.
La bateta, pelotilla, tot el tal, enxufat aquí, patapum, tots.
The little bat, ball, all that stuff, plugged in here, bang, everyone.
És circular.
It is circular.
Imagina-us-ho, eh?
Imagine it, right?
Com una piscera, com una piscera.
Like a fishbowl, like a fishbowl.
Estàs amb tots allà i tal i qual.
You're with everyone there and so on.
I a fer el pipi allà, el potet, i el popo amb un d'això.
And to do the pee there, the potty, and the poop with one of these.
Dic, hòstia, fa el popo.
I say, damn, he's pooping.
M'ho aguantaré, m'ho aguantaré, home.
I'll hold it in, I'll hold it in, man.
És igual.
It doesn't matter.
Vale.
Okay.
Llavors, et ve el matí.
Then, the morning comes to you.
Et venen i diuen, bueno, t'haurem de fer un cateterisme, perquè això només se veu d'allò.
They come to you and say, well, we will have to do a catheterization, because this can only be seen from that.
I bueno, faig el que vulgui.
Well, I do what I want.
A les vuit, em ve una noia guapíssima i diu, bueno, soc la peluquera.
At eight, a very beautiful girl comes to me and says, well, I am the hairdresser.
Això no ho podia dir.
I couldn't say that.
Bé, això, dic, fes, fes, filla, fes.
Well, that, I say, do, do, daughter, do.
Llavors, d'allí et porten al quiròfano.
Then, from there they take you to the operating room.
Llavors, és igual que les pelis.
Then, it's just like the movies.
Saps?
You know?
I dius, quina broma m'estan parint.
And you say, what a joke they are pulling on me.
Sí.
Yes.
Perquè dic, hòstia, a veure si hi ha un objectiu aquí que m'haurem discreta i tal.
Because I say, damn, let's see if there's a goal here that I'll have to be discreet and all that.
Perquè, clar, com que et trobes bé, tu et trobes bé.
Because, of course, since you feel good, you feel good.
Que fort.
How strong.
Vale.
Okay.
Llavors, t'entren allà i tots allà, oh, tot nou, eh?
Then they train you there and everyone there, oh, all new, huh?
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Fe quatre anys que està el quiròfano posat, eh?
It's been four years that the operating room has been set up, right?
Vull dir, que és tot nou, eh?
I mean, it’s all new, right?
Un personal encantador, una cosa.
A charming staff, one thing.
I veus tot allà i dius, aquí tindràs una mica de fred.
And you see everything there and say, here you will have a little cold.
Vas amb la bateta aquesta.
You're going with this little hat.
Claro.
Of course.
Tens una mica de fred, perquè, clar, baixa la temperatura, eh?
You feel a bit cold because, of course, the temperature is dropping, right?
Amb entre cuixos oberts.
With open legs.
Sí, tot obert, tot obert.
Yes, everything open, everything open.
Però amb la bateta, això sí, eh?
But with the bateta, that's for sure, right?
Sí, sí, perquè és emocionant.
Yes, yes, because it is exciting.
I aleshores dius, penses en tu, al moment aquest, sents xun-xun, xun-xun.
And then you say, you think about yourself, in this moment, you feel a buzz, buzz.
Aquí sí que tens...
Here you have...
Aquí hi ha la música.
Here is the music.
Et cagues una mica, però com que no et fa mal res, dius, bueno.
You get a little scared, but since nothing hurts you, you say, well.
I jo pensava, és que aquest sóc jo.
And I thought, is this really me?
Sí, pensava.
Yes, I was thinking.
I anava mirant, a veure si hi havia algunes càmeres.
I was looking to see if there were any cameras.
I llavors penso, dic, no és que em pinxarà tot l'hospital de l'Arnau de Villanueva
And then I think, I say, it's not that the entire hospital of Arnau de Villanueva will fail me.
fent un jaume sol.
making a lonely jaume.
Diu, a veure, dic, no, no, va en sèrio, va en sèrio.
He says, let’s see, I say, no, no, he’s serious, he’s serious.
Dic, bueno, em portaré bé, em portaré bé, perquè si no, després, eh?
I say, well, I'll behave, I'll behave, because if not, then, eh?
Anestèsia total?
Total anesthesia?
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Llavors, diu, sentirà, li farem una anestèsia, veus aquest puntilló, veus?
Then, he says, you will feel, we will give you anesthesia, you see this little point, you see?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Farem una anestèsia aquí, que és on es nota.
We'll do an anesthesia here, which is where it feels.
I així, diu, sentirà un escalforet, eh?
And so, he says, he will feel a warmth, right?
Que tracten de vostè.
They are addressing you.
Ostres, mira.
Wow, look.
Ei, nivell.
Hey, level.
I dius d'això, d'allò.
And you say about this, about that.
I et ve un senyor, que no saps lo que és, un metge,
A man is coming to see you, you don't know what it is, a doctor.
i et comença a tocar així, amb els ulls tancats.
and it starts to touch you like this, with your eyes closed.
Diu, merda, aquest va per tacte.
He says, crap, this is by touch.
Comença a tocar així, perquè et busqui.
Start playing like this, so that I can find you.
I, al cap d'un rato, apareix el jefe, el cirurgià.
And, after a while, the boss, the surgeon, appears.
Hòstia.
Damn.
Amb les mans així, igual que les pel·lis, eh?
With hands like this, just like the movies, right?
Moltes mans, molta llum, eh?
Many hands, a lot of light, right?
Una pantalla, una pantalla gegant de Sony,
A screen, a giant screen from Sony,
que no m'hi canvi el menjador de casa, eh?
Don't change the dining room of my house, okay?
I veus el teu cor allà.
And you see your heart there.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
En blanc i negre.
In black and white.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Sí, va.
Yes, go ahead.
I llavors, diu, sentirà l'escalforet aquest, i tal.
And then, he says, he will feel this warmth, and so on.
I, bueno, així, plaf.
I, well, like this, bam.
I aquell fred que tenia, sense un escalfor, que pugi fins aquí.
And that cold I had, without warmth, that rises up to here.
Aquell fred que tenia et passi.
May that cold you had pass.
T'has cagat.
You've messed up.
Dic, ara em cagaré i fotré un merder.
I say, now I'm going to take a crap and make a mess.
Perquè, clar, la contenció.
Because, of course, the restraint.
I, bueno, veus que van treballant.
Well, you see they're working.
I llavors, aquí hi ha com un dau,
And then, here there is like a die,
que es va moient, depèn de com treballi.
It moves, depending on how it works.
O sigui, tot automatitzat.
So, it’s all automated.
Depèn de com es mullui.
It depends on how wet it gets.
I notes que et va passant aquí una cosa, eh?
I notice that something is happening to you here, right?
Ho notes.
You notice it.
Hòstia, que fort.
Damn, that's intense.
Però d'aquí a aquí no notes res.
But from here to here, you don't feel anything.
I dius, no sóc jo.
And you say, it's not me.
És una prova, eh?
It's a test, huh?
Tot l'és a pensar.
Everything is to think.
I llavors, al teu cor li patim, patim, patim.
And then, we suffer, suffer, suffer at your heart.
Imagina-us.
Imagine yourselves.
I com un filoferro que va fent així.
And like a barbed wire that goes like this.
Llavors, posen un colorant.
Then, they add a dye.
No sé com li diuen.
I don't know what they call him/her.
Un contraste.
A contrast.
Que és ràdio, ràdio.
What is radio, radio.
I reloj.
The clock.
I de color verd.
And green in color.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
I sí que, aquest sí que el veus.
And yes, you do see this one.
I veus que...
And you see that...
Llavors, el jefe diu,
Then, the boss says,
passem en una del 14 de dalt i del 12 de baix.
We're passing on one from 14 above and 12 below.
No, que siguin del 9.
No, they should be from the 9th.
Que del...
What of the...
I sí, van dient, no?
And yes, they keep saying, right?
Fontaneria.
Plumbing.
I llavors, què li va passant?
And then, what is happening to him?
I traca, traca, traca.
And bang, bang, bang.
I tu relacionant-ho amb càmeres.
And you relating it to cameras.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
I aleshores, bueno, una hora.
And then, well, an hour.
Una hora.
One hour.
Però dius, sí.
But you say, yes.
I surts?
Are you going out?
Sí.
Yes.
I surto.
I'm leaving.
Llavors m'expliquen.
Then they explain to me.
Diu, mira, tenies les tres artèries taponades.
He says, look, you had the three arteries blocked.
Coronades.
Crowned.
Diu, coronades.
Says, crowned.
És el que feia el màster.
It's what I did for the master's degree.
Feia el màster.
I was doing the master's.
Això és fort, eh?
That's strong, huh?
Sí.
Yes.
Diu, això és fort.
He says, this is strong.
Però clar, com que no...
But of course, since not...
Sembla que no vagi amb tu.
It seems like it's not going with you.
Estàvem coronades i tal i qual.
We were crowned and so on.
I en una te n'han posat dos.
And in one, they have put two.
I a l'altra una.
And the other one.
I te'n queda una que només funciona el 20%.
You have one left that only works 20%.
Diu, això de moment t'ha anat d'un pèl.
He says, for now, you've just managed by a hair's breadth.
Que no t'enviem al Vall d'Hebron a fer un vaipàs.
We won't send you to Vall d'Hebron to get a check-up.
Perquè mira, perquè...
Because look, because...
Sort no he tingut, no?
I haven't had luck, have I?
Què tal les teues netes?
How are your granddaughters?
Clar, perquè la meva jove treballa allí també.
Sure, because my daughter works there too.
Hòstia, hòstia, hòstia.
Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.
I diu, sí, ja, eh?
And he says, yes, already, huh?
Diu, bueno.
He says, well.
I llavors ja.
And then already.
Te porten a d'això.
They take you to that.
Però tu estàs bé.
But you are fine.
Jo em sentia bé.
I felt good.
No estava bé, evidentment.
It was not right, obviously.
Però jo em sentia bé.
But I felt good.
Llavors em porten a l'habitació.
Then they take me to the room.
Diu, bueno.
He says, well.
D'aquí a la tarda o així.
From now until the afternoon or so.
Això era al matí a primera hora.
This was in the morning at first light.
Et portarem a planta.
We will take you upstairs.
I a veure com respon.
And to see how he/she responds.
Si tal i qual.
If so and so.
Si no em mereixes.
If you don't deserve me.
I et posen un...
They put a...
Estàs connectat online.
You are online.
Un motorizado.
A motorized vehicle.
Estoy motorizado.
I am motorized.
Monitorizado.
Monitored.
Estoy monitorizado.
I am monitored.
¿Cuántos días vas a haber de estar?
How many days are you going to have to be there?
Bueno.
Well.
Total.
Total.
Sí, t'explico.
Yes, I'll explain it to you.
Això era el dimarts.
That was on Tuesday.
Llavors ve el meu germà.
Then my brother comes.
A veure, no?
Let's see, right?
Jo li explico.
I explain it to him/her.
I mentre explico.
And while I explain.
Marejo.
I am dizzy.
Perquè era recient.
Because it was recent.
Perversa.
Pervasive.
Llavors m'he dit d'estar un dia més.
Then I told myself to stay one more day.
Llavors em diu.
Then she tells me.
La doctora.
The doctor.
Diu, mira.
He says, look.
Diu.
He says.
Ves caminant.
Keep walking.
A la planta.
To the plant.
A la sexta.
On the sixth.
A l'arnau.
To Arnau.
Tots molt majos i majis.
Everyone is very nice.
Diu, ves caminant.
He says, keep walking.
I nosaltres et controlem.
And we control you.
I depèn del que et donem l'alta.
It depends on what we release you from.
D'acord.
Okay.
Llavors.
Then.
Vaig anar donant.
I kept giving.
Clar, no puc estar quiet.
Of course, I can't stay still.
Vaig anar donant.
I kept giving.
Perquè a més a més a la nit el vecino pobre tenia una fila harmònica.
Because furthermore at night the poor neighbor had a harmonic row.
Sí.
Yes.
Vaig tenir com prostats.
I felt like I was paralyzed.
Perquè és que no podia.
Because I just couldn't.
No em deixava veure.
He/She wouldn't let me see.
Clar, som dos a l'habitació.
Sure, there are two of us in the room.
I el que passi, no?
And whatever happens, right?
I aleshores vaig fer quatre quilòmetres i mig als ascensors.
And then I did four and a half kilometers in the elevators.
I la doctora l'endemà em diu.
And the doctor tells me the next day.
Bueno, bé.
Well, okay.
Ha anat tot molt bé.
Everything has gone very well.
Tal i qual d'això.
Just like that.
Diu.
He says.
Ja hem vist que has caminat.
We have already seen that you have walked.
Has caminat bastant.
You have walked quite a bit.
Sí, perquè clar.
Yes, because of course.
Em vigilaven, no?
They were watching me, weren't they?
I diu.
And he says.
Vaig anar a buscar el Josep Maria Nolari, el meu company de Burgos que es va casar, que
I went to look for Josep Maria Nolari, my colleague from Burgos who got married, who
s'ha prejubilat.
he has retired early.
Felicitats, Josep Maria.
Congratulations, Josep Maria.
I què fan els jubilats?
And what do retirees do?
Van a comprar el pa sense sal.
They are going to buy the bread without salt.
I mirar les obres.
And look at the works.
Però bueno, les obres estan totes parades, no?
But well, the works are all on hold, right?
I llavors, doncs vam anar, que el Balcells pot dir Marques.
And then, we went, as Balcells can say Marques.
Que el Balcells, home.
That Balcells, man.
Vam anar a buscar el pa sense sal.
We went to get the bread without salt.
Ha costat.
It has cost.
Ha costat bé.
It has cost well.
Tres, eh?
Three, right?
Un pa sense sal de collons.
A bread without salt is pointless.
I llavors, doncs vam anar.
And then, we went.
Que el Balcells es pot dir Marques.
That Balcells can be called Marques.
Que el Balcells, home.
That Balcells, man.
Vam anar a buscar el pa sense sal.
We went to get the bread without salt.
Ha costat.
It has cost.
Que el Balcells és pot dir Marques.
That Balcells can be called Marques.
I llavors vam anar, que el Balcells és pot dir Marques.
And then we went, that Balcells can be called Marques.
I tot el que em ve pel camí es quedava així.
And everything that came my way stayed like this.
Hostia, que ressuscitat, no?
Holy shit, what a resurrection, right?
I llavors em van dir que caminés una hora cada dia.
And then they told me to walk for an hour every day.
Una hora cada dia.
One hour every day.
Que anésse caminant, sense bretar, tal i qual.
That he walked, without faltering, just like that.
Però havia de ser seguida.
But it had to be followed.
Que passi quan és tot Déu.
What happens when it is all God.
Cada vegada que parà, començava una hora més.
Every time he stopped, a new hour began.
Hostia!
Holy shit!
Me vaig passar tots els dies caminant de baix.
I spent every day walking from below.
Però tot el dia, eh?
But all day, right?
Però bé, bé.
But well, good.
Estic content.
I am happy.
Estàs content.
You are happy.
Em trobo bé.
I feel good.
Estàs bé.
Are you okay?
Cal dir...
It must be said...
Estic igual que abans.
I am the same as before.
No millor.
Not better.
Estic millor perquè ara estic viu.
I am better because now I am alive.
I abans estava viu però a punt de guinyar-la.
And before I was alive but about to wink at her.
I aleshores estic fent rehabilitació cardíaca.
And then I am doing cardiac rehabilitation.
I he de dir que no sabem el que tenim aquí a Lleida, a l'Hospital Santa Maria.
I have to tell you that we don't know what we have here in Lleida, at the Santa Maria Hospital.
Albert, Albert, si em sents, ets Dios.
Albert, Albert, if you hear me, you are God.
Per què?
Why?
Des que vaig arribar a la rehabilitació cardíaca, m'ho ha ensenyat tot.
Since I arrived at cardiac rehabilitation, it has taught me everything.
O sigui, ja no em fa mal ni l'esquena.
So, my back doesn't hurt anymore.
Hostia!
Holy!
Faig peses.
I lift weights.
Vaig fins a Montserrat.
I go as far as Montserrat.
Calculo, perquè m'ho posen pujada, eh?
I calculate, because they are making it difficult for me, right?
Amb la cinta.
With the ribbon.
Vaig dues vegades.
I go twice.
Què si bicicleta?
What if bicycle?
Què si allò?
What if that?
Què si t'has de moure així?
What if you have to move like that?
Què?
What?
Què les peses?
What do you weigh?
Estàs mirant forma que mai.
You are looking at a shape like never before.
Sí.
Yes.
Hostia.
Host.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Estan tornant a sortir les xocolates.
The chocolates are coming out again.
Ojo, que les havia perdut.
Watch out, I had lost them.
Ojo, eh?
Watch out, okay?
Vull dir que ara quan vulguis...
I mean that now whenever you want...
Farem un pols, eh?
We'll have a match, right?
Ja ho farem.
We will do it.
I per acabar, Jaume, aquest trom per Targa, hi ha una pregunta obligada que crec que he
And to finish, Jaume, this trumpet for Targa, there is an obligatory question that I think I have.
de fer, que va ser, bueno, a Targa es va comentar molt, sobretot un dia que, bueno, el Jaume
about doing, that it was, well, in Targa it was commented a lot, especially one day that, well, Jaume
Soler també es pensava que, bueno, tenia cabell i un dia, doncs, va deixar de tenir-ne.
Soler also thought that, well, he had hair and one day, well, he stopped having it.
Bueno, sí, us ho explico.
Well, yes, I will explain it to you.
Què va ser això?
What was that?
A veure.
Let's see.
Explica, perquè tothom m'ho ha demanat.
Explain, because everyone has asked me to.
Fixet, fixet que no em depilo.
Look, look that I don't shave.
I no t'ho ensenyo tot, perquè jo era molt peludet, molt peludet.
And I don't show you everything, because I was very hairy, very hairy.
Peludet per tot arreu, eh?
Furry everywhere, huh?
Ojo, clar.
Eye, of course.
Llavors, tots teniu wifi a casa, eh?
So, you all have wifi at home, right?
Tots tenim.
We all have.
Saps el pare teu, aquell?
Do you know your father, that one?
Sí.
Yes.
Sempre l'he tingut al costat.
I've always had it by my side.
Clar.
Of course.
La mare.
The mother.
Sí.
Yes.
Com se diu?
What is it called?
El router.
The router.
El router, el router, sempre.
The router, the router, always.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
T'explico.
I'll explain to you.
Fixet que hi ha un braç, veus?
Notice that there is an arm, see?
Aquí en tinc dos i aquí cap, d'acord?
Here I have two and here none, okay?
Això és el router.
This is the router.
Ho tinc convençut.
I'm convinced of it.
Què passa?
What's happening?
Que jo...
That I...
Home, us explico, us explico.
Home, I'll explain to you, I'll explain to you.
Clar, jo pensava que el cabell, cada vegada que em pintinava, eren com agulles, com agulles
Of course, I thought that the hair, every time they dyed it, felt like needles, like needles.
de cap clavades.
of no consequence.
I sobretot quan feia vent.
And especially when it was windy.
I llavors feia plaques, ara un forat aquí, ara un forat allà, i que vaig anar, vaig anar
And then I would make plates, now a hole here, now a hole there, and I went, I went.
a fer pròtesis.
to make prosthetics.
Ara un pegadet aquí, un pegadet allà, però clar, cada vegada era més gran l'espai a
Now a little bit here, a little bit there, but of course, each time the space was getting bigger.
cobrir.
to cover.
A més a més, quan fas la pròtesi és aquesta, que bon pegadet.
Moreover, when you make the prosthesis it is this, what a nice little touch.
Que ara ho fan molt, eh?
They do it a lot now, huh?
Jo vaig ser dels nous, eh?
I was one of the newcomers, right?
I allà on anàvem trobava el Poglowski.
And there where we went, I found Poglowski.
Ah, el Poglowski.
Ah, the Poglowski.
He estat amb el Poglowski de costat.
I have been next to Poglowski.
Vos posàvem el mateix barret.
We put the same hat on you.
Un dia es van equivocar.
One day they made a mistake.
He dit, no és el meu.
I said, it is not mine.
I què passa?
And what happens?
Que, clar, va arribar un punt que dic, buscava l'excusa per fer un pentinat modern.
Well, clearly, there came a point when I said I was looking for an excuse to get a modern hairstyle.
I llavors, a raó, que ho he d'agrair sempre, em van demanar que col·laborés amb un càncer,
And then, for that reason, which I must always be thankful for, I was asked to collaborate on a cancer project.
amb un calendari sobre el càncer.
with a calendar about cancer.
I em van demanar que col·laborés amb un càncer.
They asked me to collaborate with a cancer.
Ho tinc al Facebook, si em segueixes al final ho explico.
I have it on Facebook; if you follow me, I'll explain it in the end.
Hòstia.
Holy shit.
Ho explico i es veu com me rapo.
I explain it and you can see how I shave my head.
Va.
Okay.
Sí.
Yes.
Hòstia, no ho sabia això.
Damn, I didn't know that.
Hombre, perquè no me segueixis a mi, només te segueixo jo.
Man, why don't you follow me? I only follow you.
S'arri, home, s'arri.
Come on, man, come on.
Ets molt jove.
You are very young.
I, doncs, va arribar un punt que dic, buscava l'excusa per fer un pentinat modern.
And so, there came a point where I said I was looking for an excuse to get a modern hairstyle.
I, llavors, a raó, que ho he d'agrair sempre, em van demanar que col·laborés amb un càncer,
I, then, for a reason, for which I must always be grateful, was asked to collaborate with a cancer.
amb un calendari sobre el càncer.
with a calendar about cancer.
I, doncs, va arribar un punt que dic, buscava l'excusa per fer un pentinat modern.
And so, there came a point where I said, I was looking for an excuse to get a modern hairstyle.
Hòstia. Ho explico i es veu com me rapo.
Damn. I explain it and you can see how I shave my head.
Va. Sí.
Okay. Yes.
Hòstia, no ho sabia, això.
Wow, I didn't know that.
Home, per què no me segueixes a mi? Només te segueixo jo.
Honey, why don't you follow me? I'm the only one following you.
S'ha de riure, home, s'ha de riure. Ets molt jove.
You have to laugh, man, you have to laugh. You are very young.
A veure, a veure. I aleshores
Let's see, let's see. And then
dic, vaig, començo així.
I say, I go, I start like this.
La noia aquesta que m'ho va demanar
That girl who asked me for it.
s'havia mort el seu pare de càncer,
his father had died of cancer,
la seva mare estava en tractament,
his/her mother was undergoing treatment,
i em va fer fer un calendari molt finet
and made me create a very thin calendar
que
that
eren dotze senyores
there were twelve ladies
que estaven nues,
that they were naked,
però sense que
but without that
es vegués res a la càmera, m'entens?
if anything was seen on the camera, do you understand me?
Vull dir, sempre hi havia alguna cosa,
I mean, there was always something.
m'entens? Una cosa fina. Pues ja congelada, eh?
Do you understand me? A fine thing. Well, already frozen, huh?
I llavors diu aquesta noia,
And then this girl says,
era càncer de mama, sí, era càncer de mama,
it was breast cancer, yes, it was breast cancer,
i aleshores
and then
diu aquesta noia, diu, fem-ne
this girl says, she says, let's do it
una edició d'èquits i els diners que recolliran
an edition of equities and the money they will raise
s'aniran aquí al càncer de mama i tal,
they will go here to breast cancer and so on,
i diu, però, clar,
and says, however, clearly,
em van fer uns mil exemplars,
they made me about a thousand copies,
diu, no els vendrem.
he says, we won't sell them.
No els vendràs.
You will not sell them.
I llavors ho vaig aprofitar,
And then I took advantage of it,
ho vaig repart, ho gravo, surt,
I share it, I record it, it goes out,
surt al Facebook,
go out on Facebook,
i a l'Instagram, potser també,
and on Instagram, maybe too,
ja t'enviaré el llit,
I will send you the bed.
i jo em presento
And I introduce myself.
a la sala d'aquí de la costa de la biblioteca,
in the hall here on the coast of the library,
a la sala, vam fer la presentació allà,
in the room, we made the presentation there,
i anàvem una gorreta,
and we went for a little walk,
era l'hivern, no? Perquè era el calendari,
It was winter, right? Because it was the calendar,
llavors de Nadal, i llavors
Christmas seeds, and then
dic, bueno, ara us he de dir una notícia,
I say, well, now I have to tell you some news,
ja que s'han despullat
since they have undressed
dotze senyores tan maques per mi,
twelve ladies so lovely for me,
dic, jo em despullo per vosaltres. Raca!
I say, I strip for you. Raca!
Plac!
Bang!
I aquest va ser
And this was
el desencadenant,
the trigger,
i li estic molt agraït a aquesta noia,
and I am very grateful to this girl,
que m'hagués demanat aquesta feina, perquè, clar,
that you had asked me for this job, because, of course,
sempre, sempre busco,
always, always I search,
perquè em neuconeguen, sempre busco
because they don't recognize me, I always seek
algo més...
something more...
Hostia, és que va ser una novetat, eh?
Damn, it was quite a novelty, huh?
Que, doncs, vam acabar aquella edició
So, we finished that edition.
i vam haver de fer un altre. Hostia, que fort!
And we had to do another one. Wow, that's intense!
Clar, els del càncer estan superagraïts,
Sure, those with cancer are very grateful,
perquè, clar, van recollir molts calerons.
because, of course, they collected a lot of money.
Hostia, així no era perruca...
Holy crap, it wasn't like this, wig...
Era pròtesi, cal dir,
It was a prosthesis, I must say,
preferencials, que no hi enteneu amb pèls,
preferential, that you don’t understand with hair,
que hi ha el pel·loquin,
where the little hairy one is,
que no vull dir noms, però n'hi ha,
that I don't want to name names, but there are some,
n'hi ha, hi ha la pròtesi,
there is, there is the prosthesis,
i després hi ha el trasplantament,
and then there is the transplant,
que t'iniciar tens d'aquí.
that you start from here.
A Turquia.
To Turkey.
Sí, a Turquia, però aquí també ho fan, eh, aquí a Barcelona.
Yes, in Turkey, but they do it here too, you know, here in Barcelona.
Jo vaig provar quatre pèls aquí,
I tried four hairs here,
per la boda, i sí, sí,
for the wedding, and yes, yes,
el que passa que no duren, perquè és que
the thing is they don't last, because it is that
són sintètics.
they are synthetic.
I després hi ha el trasplantament, o sigui, una cosa
And then there's the transplant, that is, one thing.
l'implant, l'altra el trasplantament,
the implant, the other the transplant,
la perruquera, eh, us estic fent un altre, màster.
The hairdresser, eh, I am making you another one, master.
I després hi ha la pròtesi.
And then there is the prosthesis.
La pròtesi és com aquell que no té la cama
The prosthesis is like someone who doesn't have a leg.
i t'hi posen el nyogo-nyogo. Sí.
And they put the nyogo-nyogo on you. Yes.
Eh, doncs jo tinc...
Eh, well I have...
Clar, això tu has d'anar, i clar, van pegat.
Sure, you have to go, and of course, they stuck together.
Sí. Clar, cada vegada
Yes. Of course, every time.
que tu vas, clar, és el manteniment,
what you mean, of course, is the maintenance,
cada vegada que fas el manteniment,
every time you do the maintenance,
t'arrenquen com a la cera.
They tear you out like wax.
Clar, llavors encara, encara, eh,
Sure, then still, still, huh,
m'entens, et deixem més finet. Hòstia, hòstia.
Do you understand me, we let you be more refined. Damn, damn.
Toque, toque. Sí, no, no, no.
Knock, knock. Yes, no, no, no.
Molt bé, molt bé.
Very good, very good.
I aleshores, doncs, bueno, entenc la diferència.
And then, well, I understand the difference.
Sí, sí, sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Hi ha diferència. Sí, però bueno,
There is a difference. Yes, but well,
jo crec que al moment,
I think that at the moment,
al moment, sí, la de Burgos
At the moment, yes, the one from Burgos.
que ens està venint...
that is coming to us...
Crec que tot Targa ja hem fet
I think we've done everything in Targa.
sortir de dubtes perquè... Sí.
to clear doubts because... Yes.
No, perquè no té cap misteri, vull dir.
No, because it has no mystery, I mean.
No, no, no té cap misteri. O vas pelat o vas pelut.
No, no, it has no mystery. Either you are bald or you are hairy.
No, eh, aleshores,
No, eh, then,
depèn del dia, doncs mira, no sé,
it depends on the day, so look, I don't know,
doncs mira, hi ha dies que no em coneixen.
Well, look, there are days when they don't recognize me.
Doncs sí.
Well, yes.
Fins aquí un tromper Targa. I la conclusió
Up to here, a Targa trickster. And the conclusion.
és que no dormim a prop del rúter.
It's just that we don't sleep near the router.
Ah, sí, sí.
Ah, yes, yes.
Sí, sí, sí. Els rúters
Yes, yes, yes. The routers.
fan molt mal, eh. No, no. Molt mal, els rúters.
They hurt a lot, huh. No, no. Very bad, the routers.
Total, total. Sí, sí, sí.
Total, total. Yes, yes, yes.
Eh, doncs bé.
Eh, well.
Vinga, i aleshores jo voldria agrair-us
Come on, and then I would like to thank you.
que estic viu.
that I am alive.
Vull dir, ja veig que aquí us he portat
I mean, I can see that I've brought you here.
un ànec, tres d'això. Hòstia!
A duck, three of that. Holy shit!
Si és tan amable, eh,
If you are so kind, eh,
cabronasso! Eh?
big bastard! Eh?
Que farà un cabronasso!
What will a bastard do!
Un cabronasso!
A big bastard!
Sí, mos oblidàsim.
Yes, we forgot.
Vull fer un brindis carinyós
I want to make a loving toast.
amb vosaltres, eh,
with you, huh,
i que ho puguem celebrar,
and that we can celebrate it,
que cada vegada ho puguem explicar.
that we can explain it every time.
Hòstia, aquest cab és bo, eh. Sí, home,
Wow, this kid is good, huh. Yeah, man.
havia de ser nivell. Hòstia, hi ha nivell, eh.
It had to be at a high level. Damn, there is a high level, huh.
Hi ha nivell, hi ha nivell.
There is level, there is level.
Com podràs veure, ell que no veu,
As you can see, he who does not see,
té molta traça, eh,
he's quite skillful, isn't he?
i això fa molt mal pensar.
And this is very painful to think about.
No, perquè els Nadals
No, because of Christmas.
i els San Esteves els obro jo.
And I'll open the San Esteves.
Ah, sí, sí.
Ah, yes, yes.
Lo diuen totes.
They all say it.
Oh!
Oh!
Molt bé!
Very good!
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
No saps posar, eh.
You don't know how to put it on, do you?
Només la claves, però no saps posar.
You only have the keys, but you don't know how to put them in.
Aquí un xin-xin, eh.
Here's a little tip, huh.
Un xin-xin ben fort que farem.
A loud cheer we will make.
Els que només estiguin escoltant, aquí mateix.
Those who are just listening, right here.
Bueno, jo...
Well, I...
Sí.
Yes.
Alguna cosa a afegir, Jaume?
Anything to add, Jaume?
No, només que estic tremendament,
No, I'm just tremendously
us estic tremendament agraït.
I am tremendously grateful to you.
Me cago!
I'm pissed off!
Sou els més trempats que tenim
You are the most skilled we have.
en aquest moment. A veure...
at this moment. Let's see...
A les Onis? A les Onis Targarines.
To the Onis? To the Targarine Onis.
Sí, sí. No, bueno, a tot el món.
Yes, yes. No, well, to everyone.
A tot el món, eh. Perquè, clar, us escolten
To everyone, right. Because, of course, they listen to you.
fins a New York, eh. Oh, no!
To New York, huh. Oh, no!
Veu-te el Trump, quina entrecara fot ara, eh.
Look at Trump, what a mess he's making now, huh.
Aquest sí que és molt de perruquín.
This one is very much a wig.
Sí, exacte.
Yes, exactly.
Aquí...
Here...
Estem acabant, ja.
We are finishing up, already.
Ah, aquesta.
Ah, this one.
Si és la teva, fot-t'hi aigua.
If it's yours, go for it.
Sí, home, fot-li la de Burgos, que vull que surti alegre.
Yes, man, give him the one from Burgos, because I want him to go out happy.
Fot-li la de Burgos, també.
Give it to him like they do in Burgos, too.
Vinga.
Come on.
I per primera, espero que per...
And for the first time, I hope that for...
No per última vegada, eh.
Not for the last time, huh.
Que no, Jaume, Jaume. Ah, vale.
No, Jaume, Jaume. Ah, okay.
Pensava que me l'anaves a omplir.
I thought you were going to fill it for me.
No, home, tu has de fer el brindis.
No, come on, you have to make the toast.
No, no, va. No surtiu al vídeo, eh, tan amunt.
No, no, come on. Don't come out in the video, okay, so high up.
Ah, sí.
Ah, yes.
Vinga.
Come on.
A la salut de tots.
To the health of everyone.
I avui sí que força el canut a tots.
And today, yes, he really puts the pressure on everyone.
Vinga.
Come on.
Gràcies, gràcies. Molta salut.
Thank you, thank you. Much health.
Gràcies.
Thank you.
Ho heu vist, panjo? Ho heu vist?
Have you seen it, panjo? Have you seen it?
La malla se'ns va venir.
The mesh came to us.
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