El concert (pòdcast)

El concert

The concert

Et convido al concert, deia un amic meu.

I invite you to the concert, said a friend of mine.

No hauràs de pagar res, per a tu serà entrada gratuïta.

You won't have to pay anything, entry will be free for you.

Ja no tens excusa per veure amb tu que l'entrada és gratuïta, deia.

You no longer have an excuse to see that entry is free, he said.

Sí, l'entrada sí, però he hagut de pagar una beguda i ara m'han vingut ganes de pixar.

Yes, the entry yes, but I had to pay for a drink and now I feel like peeing.

A l'escenari encara no ha sortit el meu amic, encara no ha tocat.

My friend hasn't gone on stage yet, he hasn't played yet.

Ara sóc a la cua per anar al lavabo.

Now I am in line to go to the bathroom.

Mare meva, la quantitat de gent que hi ha!

My goodness, the number of people there is!

Ha passat ja una hora i aviat em tocarà, però ara a part de pixar també tinc ganes de cagar.

An hour has already passed and soon it will be my turn, but now besides having to pee I also feel like taking a dump.

Per fi, ara és la meva, seran 5 euros, em diu el vigilant.

Finally, now it's mine, it will be 5 euros, the guard tells me.

Pago, mig emprenyat, però pago.

I pay, half annoyed, but I pay.

Pago perquè no puc aguantar-me més.

I pay because I can't hold back any longer.

Pago perquè no puc aguantar-me més i entro.

I pay because I can't hold it in anymore and I go in.

Primer de tot tanco la porta amb el pastell, aixeco la tapa i...

First of all, I close the door with the pastry, lift the lid and...

Merda! Quina mala sort! Hi ha una merda dins del vàter!

Shit! What bad luck! There's a mess in the toilet!

La persona anterior no s'ha quedat a mirar si la merda marxava a claveguera avall.

The previous person did not stay to see if the shit went down the drain.

Em disposo a tirar de la cadena i la caca marxa.

I am about to flush the toilet and the poop goes away.

Per fi puc seure a cagar.

Finally, I can sit down to take a dump.

Em disposo a abaixar els pantalons.

I am about to lower my pants.

Eh? Però què passa aquí?

Huh? But what's going on here?

El vigilant té una claumestre i obre la porta.

The guard has a master key and opens the door.

Ja pot sortir! Ha estirat la cadena!

You can go out now! He/she has pulled the chain!

Això vol dir que ja has acabat. El següent, sisplau.

This means that you have finished already. The next one, please.

Diu, m'han fet fora del vàter sense que l'hagi fet servir.

He says they've thrown me out of the bathroom without me using it.

L'endemà em vaig trobar l'amic que em va convidar.

The next day I ran into the friend who invited me.

Ei, et vas quedar al concert?

Hey, did you stay at the concert?

No, al final no. Vaig estar molta estona fent cua per entrar al lavabo i resulta que no vaig poder cagar.

No, in the end, no. I waited a long time in line to go to the bathroom and it turns out I couldn't poop.

Ah, els nervis dels moments de saber si t'ho perds o no.

Ah, the nerves of moments knowing whether you’ll miss it or not.

No, molts cops passa, però no calia que fessis cua. Et vaig donar el passivip.

No, it often happens, but you didn't need to stand in line. I gave you the VIP pass.

Però tu... no m'escoltes mai?

But you... never listen to me?

No, no, no.

No, no, no.