#18 - REPESCAR - Mariona Ribas, Txabi Franquesa i Olalla Moreno
Radiofònics
La ronda perversa
#18 - REPESCAR - Mariona Ribas, Txabi Franquesa i Olalla Moreno
El Tarannà és l'habitacle on s'amaguen les perversions.
The Tarannà is the habitat where perversions are hidden.
Els esforços de l'ésser humà per impedir que aflori i que romanguin ocultes
The efforts of the human being to prevent it from surfacing and to keep it hidden.
provoquen cada dia milions de mal de caps, angoixes, taquicàrdies i neguits a tot el món.
They cause millions of headaches, anxieties, palpitations, and worries around the world every day.
Ara ha arribat el moment de fer-les sortir del seu amagatall
Now the time has come to bring them out of their hiding place.
amb l'objectiu d'alliberar-nos i també per constatar una evidència dolorosa.
with the aim of freeing ourselves and also to acknowledge a painful truth.
Tots ens assemblem més del que voldríem.
We all resemble each other more than we would like.
Benvinguts a la Ronda Perversa amb David Balaguer.
Welcome to the Pervasive Round with David Balaguer.
Un segon, un segon, un segon, veu melodiosa.
One second, one second, one second, melodious voice.
No has dit correctament el que havies de dir avui, sisplau, ho pots dir bé?
You did not say correctly what you had to say today, please, can you say it correctly?
La rapesca perversa amb David Balaguer.
The perverse fishing with David Balaguer.
Ara, ara.
Now, now.
Com anem perversos i perverses? M'agradaria explicar-vos una cosa, mireu.
How are we, perverse ones? I would like to explain something to you, look.
Em vaig enamorar d'ella a l'Institut Pep Sant Joan de Canet de Mar.
I fell in love with her at the Pep Sant Joan Institute in Canet de Mar.
Teníem 16 anys.
We were 16 years old.
Jo era un desnerit invisible i ella es va decebreixer.
I was an invisible clutz and she was disappointed.
I em va convidar a cantar per un dels popos de la classe, Roberto Salgot.
He invited me to sing for one of the guys in the class, Roberto Salgot.
Ho van deixar 3 anys després i em vaig presentar a la rapesca.
They broke up three years later and I applied for the re-selection.
En aquella ocasió l'escollit va ser un italià de Sicília,
On that occasion, the chosen one was an Italian from Sicily,
de tofa inconmensurable, Tonino Galinaro,
of immeasurable fabric, Tonino Galinaro,
amb qui va romandre 5 anys i 3 setmanes
with whom he stayed for 5 years and 3 weeks
fins que tots se'n van a Norris per culpa d'una fútil infidelitat siciliana.
until everyone goes to Norris because of a futile Sicilian infidelity.
Tan ascom sóc, em vaig tornar a presentar a la rapesca,
As stubborn as I am, I presented myself again for the fishery.
però aleshores va optar per un paio sinistre, Nando de l'Olmo,
but then he opted for a sinister guy, Nando de l'Olmo,
amb qui van estar casats i vivint a l'Estartit fins que un infart se l'endugué.
with whom they were married and living in l'Estartit until a heart attack took him away.
A la següent rapesca em vaig veure amb opcions reals
In the next round, I found myself with real chances.
perquè va recórrer el meu consol múltiples vegades,
because he appealed to my comfort multiple times,
però del no-res va aparèixer un irlandès d'extraordinaris ulls blaus,
but out of nowhere an Irishman with extraordinary blue eyes appeared,
Angus McCormick, i se'n van amb ell.
Angus McCormick, and they go with him.
Ara, amb 87 anys, s'ha tornat a quedar vídua
Now, at 87 years old, she has become a widow again.
i he decidit presentar-me un cop més a la rapesca,
I have decided to run once more in the rapesca.
encara amb resten forces i una petita clariana d'optimisme.
still with remaining strength and a small glimmer of optimism.
La rapesca és el meu jardí, el jardí dels perdedors.
The rapeseed is my garden, the garden of the losers.
Que comenci!
Let it begin!
La perversió.
The perversion.
Benvinguts, passeu, passeu, a la Ronda Perversa,
Welcome, come in, come in, to the Perverse Round.
que tant traïl·luminat amb bombetes d'escassa potència
that is so poorly lit with low-power bulbs
i amb farum de resclosit, avui n'hem perpetrat una de grossa.
And with a musty smell, today we have committed a big one.
És la 18a batllada, l'última de la temporada,
It is the 18th match, the last of the season.
i volíem fer quelcom especial.
And we wanted to do something special.
Hem organitzat una rapesca.
We have organized a cleanup.
Tenim a 17 famosos catalans a l'Olimp dels Perversos,
We have 17 famous Catalans at the Olympus of the Perverse.
33 més van intentar arribar-hi i no ho van aconseguir,
33 more tried to reach it and they did not succeed,
alguns perquè les seves anècdotes no supuraven els nivells de perversió
some because their anecdotes did not ooze levels of perversion
que aquí es demanen, altres perquè en els encreuaments
that are requested here, others because at the intersections
els va tocar enfrontar-se a bèsties salvatges de les vivències torrefactes.
they had to face wild beasts from the roasted experiences.
Avui viurem una rapesca, sí.
Today we will experience a re-fishing, yes.
El 18è famós català que ingressarà a l'Olimp dels Perversos
The 18th famous Catalan to enter the Olympus of the Wicked.
sortirà d'una batalla ferotge entre 3 persones,
will emerge from a fierce battle between 3 people,
que ja han passat per aquest antre,
that have already passed through this den,
perquè recordem que avui viurem la rapesca perversa.
because we remember that today we will experience the wicked harvest.
Correcte, el Josep Moragues, el zelador d'aquest local,
Correct, Josep Moragues, the caretaker of this place,
ens presenta els recandidats de la jornada.
presents to us the candidates for the day.
Avui haurem de respondre a les preguntes relacionades amb el verb rapescar.
Today we will have to answer the questions related to the verb "rapescar."
Mariona Ribas, Xavi Franquesa i Oralla Moreno.
Mariona Ribas, Xavi Franquesa, and Oralla Moreno.
Comencem amb Mariona Ribas, va ser la primera convidada de la Ronda Perversa
Let's start with Mariona Ribas, she was the first guest of the Perversion Round.
i la primera convidada que va parlar en aquest podcast.
And the first guest to speak in this podcast.
Ens va deixar grans perles i frases que ja formen part de la història del nostre país,
He left us great pearls and phrases that are already part of the history of our country.
com la vagina ens parla,
as the vagina speaks to us,
va parlar bastanta estona de genitals, en general,
he talked for quite a while about genitals, in general,
i va dir que tot és qüestió d'equilibri referint-se a liar-se amb algú en un taxi.
He said that it's all a matter of balance, referring to getting involved with someone in a taxi.
A més, ens va explicar un anècdota amb un tio que li va tocar la guitarra
In addition, he told us an anecdote about a guy who played the guitar for him.
en la més literal de les formes perquè el tio va acabar vomitant
in the most literal of forms because the guy ended up vomiting
i probablement no se li va aixecar...
and probably did not get up...
Ah, tu vas vomitar, eh?
Ah, you threw up, huh?
Bueno, a ell no se li va aixecar mai més, no sé, una cosa tràgica.
Well, it never came up for him again, I don't know, a tragic thing.
Malgrat tot, no va ser la més perversa d'aquella ronda.
Despite everything, she was not the most wicked of that round.
Imagineu com m'ha estalpat i quina competitivitat més fosca vam tenir
Imagine how it has stunted me and what a darker competitiveness we had.
entre aquelles quatre parets, sigui com sigui,
within those four walls, whatever happens,
que avui es converteix en la més perversa de totes.
that today becomes the most perverse of all.
Benvingudes.
Welcome.
Mariona, quin plaer que tornis a ser aquí.
Mariona, what a pleasure to have you back here.
El plaer és meu absolutament i profundament.
The pleasure is absolutely and profoundly mine.
Quin enresum de la meva vida.
What a mess of my life.
Del teu pas per la ronda perversa.
From your passage through the wicked round.
Sí.
Yes.
Molts van dir aquell dia que et vas mereixer la victòria.
Many said that day that you deserved the victory.
Doncs aquí estic.
Well, here I am.
Molts ho van dir.
Many said so.
A veure si avui, en aquesta repesca,
Let's see if today, in this playoff,
aconsegueixes ingressar a l'òlimp dels perversos.
You manage to enter the Olympus of the wicked.
És que no sé si pots superar la guitarra i les nàusees.
I don't know if you can surpass the guitar and the nausea.
No ho tindràs fàcil, t'ho dic, perquè aquí hi ha dues bèsties.
You won't have it easy, I'm telling you, because there are two beasts here.
Avui també posarem a prova la perversió d'Olea Moreno,
Today we will also test Olea Moreno's perversion,
que ens va acompanyar en l'especial de Com si fos ahir,
who accompanied us in the special of As If It Were Yesterday,
el catorze episodi.
the fourteen episodes.
Ens va deixar grans perles, però es va veure superada
She left us great pearls, but she felt overwhelmed.
per la perversió d'Alexandra Pino i el seu famós Polvos Pino,
for the perversion of Alexandra Pino and her famous Pino Powders,
Sociedat Anònima.
Public Limited Company.
Alguna de les frases que ens va deixar va ser
One of the phrases she left us was
Camilo Sesto tenía una cosa grimosilla
Camilo Sesto had a bit of a grim quality.
y también va dir,
and he also said,
soc una bona hemorragadora, guarros y bonitos.
I am a good bleeder, filthy and pretty.
Ara bé, ens va deixar una de les millors anècdotes de la història,
Well, he left us one of the best anecdotes in history,
buscant el seu nòvio, que l'estava enganyant
looking for her boyfriend, who was cheating on her
per tots els cinemes de Barcelona, amb la seva amiga, la Lili,
through all the cinemas in Barcelona, with her friend, Lili,
i també ens va dir,
and he also told us,
vaig muntar un show als Cinemes Verdi,
I put on a show at the Verdi Cinemas,
que encara em recorden.
that still remember me.
Quants litres de perversió tindrà avui?
How many liters of perversion will you have today?
Ho veurem. Benvinguda.
We'll see. Welcome.
Moltes gràcies.
Thank you very much.
Estic molt contenta d'aquesta repesca 2.0,
I am very happy about this repesc 2.0,
com li vulgueu dir.
however you want to say it.
A mi em fa molta il·lusió que siguis aquí.
I am very excited that you are here.
Sí, però és bastant difícil superar allò.
Yes, but it is quite difficult to overcome that.
Jo estic d'acord amb la Mariona.
I agree with Mariona.
És que clar, aquí ho donem tot.
It's just that, of course, we give everything here.
Jo crec que sou tres persones,
I believe that you are three people,
ara saludarem el Terrasse en discòrdia,
now we will greet the Terraced in discord,
sou tres persones que el que us va passar
you are three people what happened to you
va ser fruit d'això.
it was the result of this.
Bé, allò que passa amb els encreuaments.
Well, that's what happens with the crossings.
Els encreuaments són...
The intersections are...
És l'atzar, l'atzar dels encreuaments.
It is chance, the chance of crossings.
En altres batllades hauríeu guanyat segur,
In other contests, you would have surely won.
però no va ser així.
but it wasn't like that.
Home, la millor que folla d'Espanya...
Girl, the best one who sleeps around in Spain...
És molt relatiu, eh?
It's very relative, huh?
Diuir-se aquest títol és pretensiós, però és potent.
Saying this title is pretentious, but it is powerful.
Tanca la ronda perversa.
Close the wicked circle.
Xavi Franquesa, aquí vam tenir el vuitè episodi.
Xavi Franquesa, here we had the eighth episode.
Gran episodi.
Great episode.
Quin gran, el millor de tots, segurament.
What a great one, the best of all, surely.
L'obrista va compartir ronda amb dues periodistes.
The worker shared a round with two journalists.
Periodistes amb passat esportiu.
Journalists with a sports background.
Això el va deixar molt en fora de joc.
This left him very offside.
Recordem que no va entendre la primera pregunta
Remember that he/she did not understand the first question.
que li va fer David Balaguer,
what David Balaguer did to him,
que no és l'única persona que li ha passat.
that she is not the only person it has happened to.
És un clàssic.
It's a classic.
Es va deixar fer-les com aquesta.
He/She allowed them to be made like this.
A mesura que el cos es va espatllant, vas vestit millor.
As the body breaks down, you dress better.
I una de les meves frases preferides que s'han dit aquí.
And one of my favorite phrases that has been said here.
Vaig fer-me amic d'un dels de Parxís,
I became friends with one of the Parxís players.
el que ara pot aplaudir.
the one who can applaud now.
Aquesta va ser forta.
That was strong.
No la recordaves, aquesta.
You didn't remember her, this one.
Avui comparteixin ronda...
Today they take turns...
Vermell!
Red!
Vermell de Parxís.
Parxís Red.
Comparteix ronda amb dues actrius guanyarà l'humor a la dramaturgia.
Sharing a round with two actresses will bring humor to the dramaturgy.
Ho veurem, que la perversió estigui amb tu i benvingut.
We will see, may the perversion be with you and welcome.
Gràcies.
Thank you.
Estic molt...
I am very...
Noto que estic al mateix punt que quan vaig venir l'altra vegada.
I notice that I am at the same point as when I came last time.
Segueixo sense entendre algunes preguntes.
I still don't understand some questions.
Això m'acostuma a passar.
This usually happens to me.
I me n'he adonat,
I've realized it.
és a dir, em reafirmo un altre cop,
that is to say, I reaffirm once again,
en que tinc una capacitat per oblidar,
in that I have a capacity to forget,
brutal.
brutal.
I de sort!
And good luck!
Això, que podria ser greu,
This, which could be serious,
em torna una persona zero rancorosa,
It returns me a person with no grudges.
perquè com que no recordo mai ni el que he dit ni el que m'han dit...
because since I never remember either what I have said or what I have been told...
Quina fantasia de vida.
What a fantasy of life.
T'estimarem, llavors.
We will love you, then.
Vull comentar que aquestes tres persones que avui venen a la repesca
I want to comment that these three people who are coming to the playoff today
van ser les tres persones a qui vam decidir trucar.
They were the three people we decided to call.
És a dir, no és que Arnau París, per exemple,
That is to say, it is not that Arnau París, for example,
ens hagi dit, no puc venir,
he told us, I can't come,
o que Raül Balam digués, no, és que no em va bé venir aquest dia.
What Raül Balam said is that it doesn't work for me to come on that day.
No, sou els tres que vam trucar primer.
No, you are the three that called first.
Per tant, un aplaudiment, sisplau, per Olalla Moreno,
Therefore, a round of applause, please, for Olalla Moreno,
Mariona Ribas i Xavi Franquesa.
Mariona Ribas and Xavi Franquesa.
Clar que sí, perquè la vida de vegades t'atorga una segona oportunitat.
Of course, because life sometimes gives you a second chance.
La repesca és l'oficina on es renoven les esperances.
The repurchase is the office where hopes are renewed.
És el jardí botànic on rebroten velles il·lusions.
It is the botanical garden where old dreams blossom again.
Però compte amb les repesques que les carrega el dimoni.
But watch out for the re-draws, as the devil carries them.
Aquells que avui perdin, que seran dos de vosaltres,
Those who lose today, which will be two of you,
hauran perdut dues vegades.
they will have lost twice.
Molt fort. No s'ho pararem.
Very strong. We won't stop it.
Abans de començar a formular preguntes
Before starting to ask questions
d'una collita malparida de paperots del Padrón,
from a cursed harvest of Padrón paperweights,
hem de passar pel guardaroba de les emocions.
we have to go through the wardrobe of emotions.
Allà hi tenim la senyora Papadakis.
There we have Mrs. Papadakis.
Com anem? Què li sembla això que hem perpetrat avui?
How are we? What do you think of what we've done today?
Nen, veig que t'has organitzat una repesca.
Kid, I see you've organized a repechage.
Jo veig que s'ha buscat un recurs molt fàcil, nen.
I see that a very easy resource has been sought, kid.
Aquí has portat convidats repetits.
Here you have brought repeated guests.
No sé pas.
I really don't know.
Però mira, els de la tele també ho fan, de fer la repesca.
But look, the people on TV do it too, the wild card.
Aquests del Talent Joe, no sé com es diu.
These from Talent Joe, I don't know what it's called.
Els Talent Joe ho fan.
The Talent Joe do it.
L'Alfòria...
The Alfòria...
Ho fan tots els programes.
All the programs do it.
Per tant, ho podem fer nosaltres, també.
Therefore, we can do it ourselves, too.
Què li semblen els tres candidats que han triat per la repesca?
What do you think of the three candidates they have chosen for the repêchage?
Comencem per la de la meva dreta.
Let's start with the one on my right.
Veig que hi ha la Mariona Ribas,
I see that Mariona Ribas is here,
que m'estranya que aquesta noia no guanyés.
I find it strange that this girl didn't win.
Ah!
Ah!
Ho va fer molt bé.
He did it very well.
Gràcies.
Thank you.
I a part d'això, és perversa la punyetera.
And aside from that, she is a damn perverse one.
Com aquesta noia, la Mariona Ribas,
With this girl, Mariona Ribas,
que feu la tertúlia de com si fos ahir.
Let the discussion be as if it were yesterday.
Sí.
Yes.
Veig, no sé, veia una coseta que feia, no sé,
I see, I don’t know, I was seeing a little thing that was happening, I don’t know,
com si tingués sutil·lim.
as if I had subtlety.
Una mica.
A little.
A veure, a veure què sortirà de tot això.
Let's see, let's see what will come out of all this.
Aquesta noia...
This girl...
Encara vol dir més coses.
It still means more things.
Diu més respostes, molt, i molt sucoses.
It gives more answers, very, and very juicy.
Sí.
Yes.
No sé.
I don't know.
No em cap al cap que no guanyés.
I can't understand how he/she didn't win.
Va guanyar la Mireia Giró.
Mireia Giró won.
Correcte.
Correct.
Va donar voltes, encara.
He/She turned around again.
No sé si és que hi va haver ditongo o què va passar.
I don't know if it was a diphthong or what happened.
Li dona voltes.
It spins around.
Ell volia que guanyessis, ho veig clar.
He wanted you to win, I see it clearly.
Anem a repassar el segon convidat d'aquesta batllada.
Let's review the second guest of this debate.
Què li sembla?
What do you think?
Veig que també aquí a la repesca hi ha aquest noi,
I see that this guy is also here in the play-off.
el Javi Franquesas,
Javi Franquesas,
que aquest noi, també vaig, escolta'm,
that this boy, I'm going too, listen to me,
vaig al·lucinar.
I was amazed.
Aquest noi es va expressar molt bé.
This boy expressed himself very well.
I tant.
Me too.
Però molt.
But very.
Molt bé.
Very well.
Perquè, clar, va venir aquella noia,
Because, of course, that girl came,
la Laia Ferrer,
Laia Ferrer,
va portar aquell vídeo pornogràfic,
he brought that pornographic video,
i és clar, ja tot, ja tot, ja tot, ja se'n va de nord.
And it's clear, everything, everything, everything, is already going north.
Però no el va portar, el vídeo pornogràfic.
But he didn't bring the pornographic video.
Va parlar d'un vídeo pornogràfic.
He talked about a pornographic video.
Sí, però el vam buscar tots, per cas.
Yes, but we all looked for him, just in case.
Exacte.
Exactly.
Mare de Déu.
Mother of God.
I la tercera candidata d'aquesta repesca, què li sembla?
And what do you think of the third candidate in this playoff?
Oh.
Oh.
La Laia Moreno, aquesta noia.
The Laia Moreno, this girl.
Carai, va competir molt bé aquest dia, eh?
Wow, he competed very well that day, huh?
Però molt.
But a lot.
Perquè, escolta'm,
Because, listen to me,
aquesta noia el que va explicar, l'anècdota que va explicar,
this girl what she explained, the anecdote that she explained,
que va trobar el seu nòvio amb una altra noia.
that found her boyfriend with another girl.
Noi, això són coses que són de molt mal país, eh?
Dude, these are things that are very bad for the country, right?
Però mira, ella, escolta'm, va anar allà,
But look, she, listen to me, went there,
i, escolta'm, els va, els va, els hi va fer un bon rapapobo.
And, listen to me, he gave them a good telling-off.
El rapapobo, eh?
The rapapobo, huh?
Aquesta noia el va fer allà al Cine Verdi.
This girl made him there at the Verdi Cinema.
Sí.
Yes.
Però clar, va venir l'Alexandra Pino,
But of course, Alexandra Pino came.
i com que va fer el vídeo aquell de les polvos pino,
And since he made that video about the Pino powders,
que veu que ha tingut un èxit rotundó.
that sees that it has had a resounding success.
Ho veu aquí.
You see it here.
Amb una gran vi-visualització.
With a great re-visualization.
Sí.
Yes.
Esclar, amb poques paraules ho arrasa tot.
Of course, with a few words it conquers everything.
Ho arrasa tot, sí, sí.
It crushes everything, yes, yes.
Aquell vídeo és el vídeo amb més visualitzacions
That video is the video with the most views.
de la història de la Ronda Perversa.
of the story of the Perversa Round.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Los polvos pino.
The pine powders.
Clar, vas perdre aquell dia, però per això, clarament.
Sure, you lost that day, but that's clear.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Doncs, si ens vol donar les instruccions,
Well, if you want to give us the instructions,
que sap que m'agraden molt.
that you know I like a lot.
Bueno, macos, deixeu aquí les vergonyes.
Well, guys, leave your shyness here.
Les vergonyes aquí, sisplau.
The shame here, please.
La prudència.
Prudence.
I què més us diré, què més us diré?
And what else shall I tell you, what else shall I tell you?
I el capteniment.
And the behaviour.
El capteniment aquí, també, Olalla.
The behavior here, too, Olalla.
Que passeu un bon rato.
Have a good time.
Moltes gràcies.
Thank you very much.
Gràcies, estimada.
Thank you, dear.
Bé, enderrocats els subterfugis, toca començar a jugar.
Well, with the subterfuges demolished, it's time to start playing.
Us veig com feres famèliques,
I see you as hungry beasts,
àvides d'un qüestionari ben sòrdid.
eager for a very sordid questionnaire.
No patiu, no patiu, perquè el tindreu.
Don't worry, don't worry, because you will have it.
Comencem el descens a les catacumbes.
Let's start the descent into the catacombs.
La Ronda Perversa, amb David Balaguer.
The Pervasive Round, with David Balaguer.
Un altre cop.
Again.
Digues la frase correcta, sisplau.
Please say the correct sentence.
La pesca perversa.
The wicked fishing.
En David Balaguer.
David Balaguer.
Així m'agrada.
That's how I like it.
Ja som aquí un cop més.
We're here again.
Quina gran il·lusió retrobar-vos.
What a great pleasure to see you again.
La vau dir molt grossa i tot i així no va ser suficient.
You said it very loud and still it wasn't enough.
Per tant, avui no us guardeu res al pap.
Therefore, today don't hold anything back.
Les ressacques esculpeixen una frase mítica.
The waves carve out a mythical phrase.
No penso tornar a veure mai més.
I don't think I will ever see you again.
Això es diu molt.
This is said a lot.
També dona títol a una cançó de Mishima.
It is also the title of a song by Mishima.
Es diu amb un gran convenciment,
It is said with great conviction,
però amb la revisculada de l'organisme,
but with the revival of the organism,
la frase s'evapora i tornen tots ells, en bandada.
the phrase evaporates and they all return, in a flock.
Els vermuts, els whiskeys, els gintònics,
The vermouths, the whiskeys, the gin and tonics,
els vodka-limon, tot torna.
the vodka-lemon, everything returns.
Això ens passa amb un bon grapat d'assumptes,
This happens to us with a good handful of issues,
no només amb la beguda.
not only with the drink.
Tenim una força de voluntat de qui en calla.
We have a willpower that silences others.
Una força de voluntat que es vendria a preu de saldo per Wallapop.
A willpower that would sell for a bargain price on Wallapop.
O a l'aulet més decrèpit de la ciutat.
Or to the most decrepit owl of the city.
Primera pregunta de la repesca perversa.
First question of the perverse repechage.
No ens feu penedir d'haver-vos triat a vosaltres com a candidats.
Do not make us regret having chosen you as candidates.
Quina afició sòrdida, obscura i tenebrosa
What a sordid, dark, and gloomy hobby
repesca sovint de l'amagatall dels gustos,
recovery often from the hiding place of tastes,
malgrat haver-te promès mil vegades a tu mateix
despite having promised yourself a thousand times
que no ho tornaries a fer?
That you wouldn't do it again?
Mira el cel de la ronda
Look at the sky of the roundabout.
i, per tant, arrencarem amb Mariona Rivas.
And so, we will begin with Mariona Rivas.
Per què? Sempre em toca a mi!
Why? It always falls on me!
Sí.
Yes.
M'agraden les tradicions.
I like traditions.
Ja, ja, ja.
Ha, ha, ha.
A veure, jo no és una afició...
Let's see, it's not a hobby for me...
Tinc un dubte, perquè no és una afició que repesqui sovint,
I have a question, because it's not a hobby that I often revisit,
però crec que sí que és una afició que tenia,
but I think it is indeed a hobby that I had,
o una cosa que m'agradava fer,
or something that I liked to do,
que era una mica...
that was a bit...
escarós!
scary!
Digue'ns-ho, digue'ns-ho, sisplau.
Tell us, tell us, please.
Tenia certa afició a pretar granets,
I had a certain fondness for popping pimples,
però a pretar granets aquells que estan amagats,
but to crush those hidden grains,
que es diuen punts negres.
which are called black spots.
Els barbs, els barbs.
The barbs, the barbs.
Els barbs.
The barbs.
Barbs, barbs.
Barbs, barbs.
Espinilles, no?
Spines, right?
Espinilles.
Shins.
Sí.
Yes.
I em flipava el treure-hi això, saps que no?
I was really amazed by taking this out, you know that, right?
Però sé, sé, que jo ho estic confessant,
But I know, I know, that I am confessing it,
però hi ha moltíssima gent que li agrada fer això
but there are a lot of people who enjoy doing this
i que té afició a fer això.
and who is fond of doing this.
Fa mil anys que no ho faig, perquè, clar,
I haven't done it in a thousand years because, of course,
encara que no ho sembli, ja he deixat la veritat.
Even if it doesn't seem like it, I have already left the truth.
Encara que no ho sembli, ja he deixat l'adolescència.
Although it may not seem like it, I have already left adolescence behind.
O sigui, no, disfruto d'aquest tipus de coses al meu restaurant.
I mean, no, I enjoy this kind of thing at my restaurant.
Però els teus, eh? Els teus propis, no d'altre.
But yours, right? Your own, not someone else's.
D'altres també.
Others too.
T'agrada aquella sensació que broti aquell filet blanc, no?
You like that feeling when that white thread emerges, right?
S'ha d'anar en compte a vegades perquè...
One must be careful sometimes because...
Mira, això et diré una cosa.
Look, I will tell you one thing.
Depèn del grau de conserva.
It depends on the degree of preservation.
Jo tinc un relat relacionat amb això.
I have a story related to this.
La meva mare li agradava molt fer-ho amb barbs.
My mother really liked to do it with guys.
I llavors, com que jo ho detestava, perquè, clar, això fot mal,
And then, since I hated it, because, of course, it hurts.
em deia, et donaré 25 pessetes per cada barb que et deixis treure.
He told me, I will give you 25 pesetas for each beard you let me pull out.
Era el teu ratoncito Pérez particular, eh?
He was your particular little mouse Pérez, huh?
Això és real.
This is real.
És quasi com vendre fluids corporals, això.
It's almost like selling bodily fluids, this.
I com que vaig tenir una mala etapa, a més,
And since I went through a rough patch, moreover,
amb el tema de l'acné juvenil...
with the issue of teenage acne...
Clar, clar, clar.
Clear, clear, clear.
Potser hi havia un dia que em traia 250 pessetes.
Maybe there was a day when I withdrew 250 pesetas.
Però això no ho heu vist mai a la platja,
But you have never seen this at the beach.
la típica tia que li està traient el tio a l'esquena...
the typical girl who is taking the guy behind his back...
Per això que sé que no estic sol.
That's why I know I'm not alone.
Potser sóc la persona que primer aixeca la veu en aquest país
Perhaps I am the person who raises their voice first in this country.
confessant aquesta merda.
confessing this shit.
Però...
But...
Clar, però no repesco sovint.
Of course, but I don't fish often.
És a dir, no sé...
That is to say, I don't know...
A l'últim barb, potser.
At the last barb, perhaps.
Quan vas treure l'últim barb?
When did you catch the last beard?
No me'n recordo.
I don't remember.
Potser sóc incapaç.
Perhaps I am incapable.
Però...
But...
He preferit la sordidesa a la freqüència.
I have preferred sordidness to frequency.
Exacte.
Exactly.
He preferit la sordidesa a la freqüència.
I have preferred the sordidness to the frequency.
Gran presa. M'agrada molt aquesta frase.
Great catch. I really like this phrase.
Clar, llavors...
Sure, then...
De Mariona Rivas.
By Mariona Rivas.
És aquesta, la meva comprensió.
This is my understanding.
M'agrada, m'agrada. Xavi Franquesa.
I like it, I like it. Xavi Franquesa.
Doncs aquí jo doblaré l'aposta.
Well, here I will raise the bet.
Perquè jo sóc una persona molt amant de l'escatològic.
Because I am a person very fond of the eschatological.
Això, el teu pot quedar en un petit detall,
This, your can remain as a small detail,
perquè tu treies barbs, que em sembla que en català
because you were pulling barbs, which I think is in Catalan
és pràcticament una onomatopeia,
it is practically an onomatopoeia,
perquè és el so que fa quan tu trenques així.
because it's the sound it makes when you break it like that.
Fa...
It has...
Barbs, barbs, barbs.
Barbs, barbs, barbs.
Bé, ara ensenyaré... ara ensenyaré algo.
Well, now I will show... now I will show something.
Ui, què dius?
Oh, what are you saying?
Perquè tu estàs tocant el tema barbs.
Because you are touching on the topic of barbs.
Però és que...
But it's that...
No, no, ho he hagut de buscar.
No, no, I had to look for it.
De quin nivell estem parlant?
What level are we talking about?
Ho tinc a l'Instagram i veureu que no he tocat res
I have it on Instagram and you will see that I haven't touched anything.
i ho segueixo.
and I continue it.
El tantum això...
The only thing is...
Quina pàgina segueixes?
Which page are you following?
Això és una pàgina...
This is a page...
Ara, la càmera és aquesta, ho ensenyaré.
Now, this is the camera, I will show it.
La pàgina es diu...
The page is called...
Pimples, ta.
Pimples, thanks.
I estem parlant d'allà...
And we are talking about there...
Eeeeh!
Eeeeh!
Què és això?
What is this?
Estem parlant, ja no barbs,
We are talking, no more barbs,
estem parlant de gent que li surt la vida pel poro.
We are talking about people who are struggling to get by.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I jo no només...
And I not only...
És que no ho he vist.
I haven't seen it.
No cal, no cal.
No need, no need.
És un Instagram només de grans.
It's an Instagram just for adults.
Ui!
Oh!
Però vaja, grans com préssecs, com melons.
But come on, big like peaches, like melons.
Han de ser com préssecs del Carràs.
They must be like peaches from Carràs.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Això em fa vomitar.
This makes me vomit.
No, i per...
No, and for...
Un barbs.
A barb.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Mira, aquesta és la reacció,
Look, this is the reaction.
perquè a més jo quan ho miro...
because also when I look at it...
Vols guanyar, ho veig clar.
You want to win, I see it clearly.
Jo vull guanyar.
I want to win.
No, no, i tanco, ho miro.
No, no, and I close, I look at it.
Hi ha gent que porta vídeos pornogràfics i ell porta això.
There are people who bring pornographic videos and he brings this.
No només això, sinó que tenim un grup, eh?
Not only that, but we have a group, right?
Epidèmic.
Epidemic.
Tinc un grup, un grup de WhatsApp...
I have a group, a WhatsApp group...
No!
No!
On ens passem vídeos d'aquest tipus d'extraccions
Where do we send videos of this type of extractions?
juntament amb vídeos de peus amb manoletines,
together with videos of feet with ballet flats,
que és una altra ficció.
that is another fiction.
Què?
What?
Què vol dir peus amb manoletines?
What does it mean to have feet with slippers?
Què són peus amb manoletines?
What are feet with ballet flats?
Manoletina.
Slipper.
La manoletina és un calçat.
The manoletina is a type of footwear.
Uh!
Uh!
Ballerines o manoletines.
Ballet flats or manoletinas.
Que són de moda aquest any.
They are in fashion this year.
Bueno, estan de moda, però...
Well, they are in fashion, but…
Sempre han estat de moda.
They have always been in fashion.
Sempre han estat de moda
They have always been in fashion.
i sempre és la moda més femenina, sobretot,
and it is always the most feminine fashion, above all,
perquè ja masculina has de ser torero,
because you already have to be a bullfighter to be masculine,
perquè per això se li diuen torerites, també, manoletines.
because that's why they're also called torerites, or manoletines.
Bueno, se li diuen manoletines perquè les portava Manolete.
Well, they are called manoletines because Manolete wore them.
Clar, clar, clar.
Sure, sure, sure.
De fet, et diré més.
In fact, I will tell you more.
Nosaltres, amb aquest grupet, si anem pel carrer
Us, with this little group, if we go down the street.
i veiem, veiem una fèmina
And we see, we see a female.
que ha tingut el valor de calçar-se unes manoletines,
who has had the courage to put on some ballet flats,
si podem, amb una miqueta discreció, amb el telèfon...
if we can, with a little discretion, with the phone...
Perquè entenc que hi ha un judici darrere d'això.
Because I understand that there is a judgment behind this.
Fem foto a terra.
Let's take a photo on the ground.
Evidentment, a la persona no la traiem mai.
Obviously, we never take the person out.
Fem foto amb la manoletina i l'enviem.
Let's take a photo with the manoletina and send it.
I tinc proves perquè tinc un grup de WhatsApp
I have proof because I have a WhatsApp group.
que demostra...
that proves...
Dic com ho estigueu, les manoletines.
I say how you were, the little shoes.
Bueno, el grup es diu...
Well, the group is called...
Què m'has de dir?
What do you have to say to me?
Es diu Beyoncers.
It's called Beyoncers.
En realitat, el grup es diu Beyoncers.
In reality, the group is called Beyoncers.
Conec algú d'aquest grup.
I know someone from this group.
Però que... no.
But... no.
Engloba...
It encompasses...
No ho diguis tan segur.
Don't say it so surely.
No, en principi no.
No, in principle not.
En principi no.
In principle, no.
Em sorprendria, em sorprendria.
It would surprise me, it would surprise me.
Però...
But...
És un fetitxisme...
It's a fetishism...
És un fetitxisme invers.
It is an inverse fetishism.
Clar.
Of course.
Perquè... clar.
Because... of course.
Teniu odi a les manoletines.
You have hatred towards the manoletines.
Perquè podria haver un fetitxisme de peu, de peu maco...
Because there could be a foot fetish, a pretty foot...
Ara, ara.
Now, now.
I compartir-ho.
And share it.
Però jo crec que compartir aquestes coses...
But I believe that sharing these things...
Aquestes coses, el que sí, ha de ser més íntim.
These things, indeed, must be more intimate.
I el que no s'ha de compartir.
And what should not be shared.
És a dir, un fetitxisme que tu tinguis molt privat teu,
That is to say, a fetishism that you keep very private.
ha de ser molt privat.
It must be very private.
Però hem de veure quin és l'antònim, en aquest cas,
But we need to see what the antonym is, in this case.
de...
of...
El contrari del fetitxisme.
The opposite of fetishism.
Eh...
Eh...
Fastiguisme, seria.
It would be disgusting.
Clar, és que...
Of course, it's just that...
Innocència de mi pensava que era perquè realment us agradava.
Innocently, I thought it was because you really liked it.
No.
No.
Quan ha dit que ha tingut el valor de causar-se amb les manoletines,
When he said that he had the courage to harm himself with the slippers,
ja he vist per on anava la història.
I have already seen where the story was going.
És a dir...
That is to say...
Jo crec que a l'infern, la gent va amb manoletines.
I believe that in hell, people wear ballet flats.
Podria ser.
It could be.
He de dir-ho i no suporto les manoletines.
I have to say it and I can't stand the flat shoes.
Ara.
Now.
Tu repesques...
You catch again...
Ara, després t'incloca algú.
Now, someone will include you later.
Llavors tu repesques de tant en tant aquestes aficions.
Then you occasionally bring back these hobbies.
Sí.
Yes.
No, no, vos heu quedat...
No, no, you have remained...
Sòrdides, sinistres, tètriques...
Sordid, sinister, bleak...
Cada dia...
Every day...
És terrorífic.
It's terrifying.
Jo, és que a mi...
Me, it's just that to me...
Espera't, espera't, perquè encara queda l'olalla.
Wait, wait, because there is still the pot.
Però un moment.
But wait a moment.
Hi ha un grup de persones que tenen això en comú.
There is a group of people who have this in common.
És a dir...
That is to say...
Moltes.
Many.
I com arribes a descobrir-ho?
And how did you come to discover it?
Quants membres hi ha aquí?
How many members are there here?
Aquí no...
Not here...
Em sembla que som sis o set, però a mi em consta que hi ha molta més gent aficionada
I think we are six or seven, but I know that there are many more fans.
a això, eh?
to this, huh?
Gent completament obsessionada.
Completely obsessed people.
Però aquest és Premium Ultra Plus Max.
But this is Premium Ultra Plus Max.
Et diré més.
I'll tell you more.
Hi ha un programa a Max, és una cadena, que hi ha una doctora bàsicament dedicada...
There is a program on Max, it is a channel, that has a doctor basically dedicated...
Sí.
Yes.
Perquè jo he vist programes dels quals...
Because I have seen programs that...
Jo m'he enganxat com a...
I have gotten hooked on...
Però bàsic, com a FIFA.
But basic, like FIFA.
Me'n vaig enganxar a Forjado al Fuego.
I got hooked on Forged in Fire.
Oh, boníssim.
Oh, very good.
Això és boníssim.
This is very good.
Això atrapa qualsevol aterro bàsic.
This catches any basic landing.
Després que t'ho expliqui, sí, perquè...
After I explain it to you, yes, because...
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
És llarg, això d'explicar.
It's long, this explaining.
Però és un concurs.
But it's a competition.
És un concurs de fer ganivets, per entendre.
It's a knife-making contest, to understand.
Forjado al Fuego.
Forged in Fire.
I jo, al ser de l'Hospitalet, em sento bastant identificat.
And I, being from Hospitalet, feel quite identified.
Bé, és un arma bàsica que has de tenir.
Well, it's a basic weapon that you need to have.
Però és que després hi havia un altre de Cuerpos Asombrosos, es deia.
But then there was another one called Astonishing Bodies.
Ui, sí, sí, sí.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Ui, Asombrosos.
Oh, Amazing.
Que la gent...
That the people...
I no Asombrosos de...
And not Amazing of...
No de Buenorro.
Not from Goodlooking.
No, no.
No, no.
Això em va tenir atrapadíssim.
This had me completely trapped.
Això atrapava molt.
This was very captivating.
Jo m'ho anava als capítols.
I was going to the chapters.
I, ojo, anava una persona, per exemple, que potser tenia, diguéssim, els genitals, una dona,
I, oh, there was a person, for example, who perhaps had, let's say, the genitals of a woman,
potser anava i diu...
maybe I was going and he says...
Jo anava d'aquí.
I was going from here.
Jo tengo más de mil verrugas en los genitales.
I have more than a thousand warts on my genitals.
Ah!
Ah!
I anava una doctora que estava com una tenda, a una tenda de campanya, i anava cap a una
There was a doctor who was like a tent, heading towards a camping tent.
tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda,
store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store,
i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava
I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going.
a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava a la tienda, i anava
to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going to the store, and I was going.
cap allà, i l'ensenyava, d'alguna manera, diu, home, és que diu, fa, fa més de tres
over there, and he was showing it, somehow, he says, well, he says, it’s been, it’s been more than three
anys que no em despullo davant del meu marit perquè em fa vergonya.
Years that I don't undress in front of my husband because I feel ashamed.
Ah!
Ah!
I ara ha sonat a la tele que et vegi el cony com quatre milions de persones, no?
And now it has sounded on the TV that you can see your pussy like four million people, right?
Vull dir que...
I mean that...
I li feia el tractament i l'operació de marres a la persona que venia, o amb verrugues al
And I was giving the treatment and the unnecessary operation to the person who came, or with warts to the
cap, o...
none, or...
O amb un nas, amb una malformació que li passava el nas, no?
Or with a nose, with a malformation that made it look like a nose, right?
M'estic marejant.
I'm feeling dizzy.
M'estic una mica marejant.
I'm feeling a little dizzy.
Però ara hi ha un programa, que em sembla, que va gent a triar persones i les van triar...
But now there is a program, which I think, where people go to choose people and they were chosen...
Ah!
Ah!
The naked attraction!
The naked attraction!
What?
What?
Hem de...
We have to...
Eufòria, no?
Euphoria, right?
Bé, jo vaig flipant.
Well, I'm amazed.
Eufòria.
Euphoria.
Olalla, has de respondre tu, encara.
Olalla, you have to respond yourself, still.
No, és que no en sé res.
No, it's just that I don't know anything about it.
A veure, Olalla.
Let’s see, Olalla.
No, però volem saber quina és l'afició sòrdida, obscura i tenebrosa, que repesca
No, but we want to know what the sordid, dark, and gloomy hobby is that resurfaces.
sovint.
often.
No, però la meva és com...
No, but mine is like...
És com de xunga.
It's like a joke.
Quina és?
Which one is it?
que repesca sovint. No, però la meva és com
that often rescues. No, but mine is like
de xunga. Ah, no és de xunga,
of course. Ah, it's not of course.
perquè està feta des de la por, en realitat.
because it is made from fear, in reality.
Quina és? Doncs jo,
Which one is it? Well, me,
de vegades,
sometimes,
en èpoques així,
in such times,
doncs, de
so, of
preocupació professional, jo em dedico
professional concern, I dedicate myself
a buscar els companys que no
to find the companions who do not
estan treballant a l'IMDB.
They are working at IMDB.
Saps? Llavors, agafo
You know? Then, I take
l'IMDB i començo
the IMDB and I start
fulanito de tal.
so-and-so.
Dic, mira, no està treballant.
I say, look, she is not working.
Vinga, jo també en sóc.
Come on, I am too.
Per clar, com per
To be clear, as for
consolar-te. Bueno, per
console you. Well, for
tornar a entendre
to understand again
com funciona això, realment.
how does this work, really.
O de vegades em pregunto,
Or sometimes I wonder,
i aquella persona que va fer allò que va tenir
and that person who did what they had
tant d'èxit, què estarà fent ara?
so much success, what will he be doing now?
Què se n'ha fet?
What has become of it?
Llavors, he de dir, i passo molta estona
So, I have to say, and I spend a lot of time.
a l'IMDB, llavors és com una
on IMDB, then it's like a
roda imparable, perquè ja passo als de
unstoppable wheel, because I am already moving on to those of
Hollywood, saps? Ja me'n vaig a
Hollywood, you know? I'm already going to.
Hollywood, ja em vaig a buscar, saps?
Hollywood, I'm coming to get you, you know?
Llavors, bueno, i acabo
So, well, I'll wrap up.
més relaxada.
more relaxed.
No treballa cap.
No one works.
La Cameron s'ha fet una cosa
Cameron has done something.
de vins i és vinotèquica.
of wines and is wine-related.
En determinats moments
At certain moments
en determinats moments
at certain moments
i depèn de la persona
it depends on the person
que estàs analitzant,
what you are analyzing,
investigant, sents
investigating, you feel
plaer? Digues la veritat.
Pleasure? Tell the truth.
O l'Alla.
Oh God.
Aquí pensa que pots guanyar un punt.
Here he/she thinks you can win a point.
Pots guanyar un punt.
You can earn a point.
No diré que sigui plaer, però he d'admetre
I won't say it's a pleasure, but I have to admit.
que realment és una cosa una mica detestable,
that is really something a bit detestable,
anar buscant els companys que no estan treballant.
go looking for the colleagues who are not working.
Per tu sentir-te dir
For you to hear yourself say
bueno, no estic tan mal.
Well, I'm not that bad.
Ai, primeres confessions de la
Oh, first confessions of the
vetllada. Sí, sí, m'han agradat molt
Evening. Yes, yes, I liked them a lot.
aquestes primeres confessions.
these first confessions.
Això és el primer nivell?
Is this the first level?
Em sembla més íntim.
It seems more intimate to me.
Podríem acabar amb l'Alla que el nostre.
We could end with Allah as our own.
Sí, sí, sí, és que aquesta...
Yes, yes, yes, it's just that this...
Aquesta és...
This is...
Les vostres són escatològiques.
Yours are scatological.
Ja, és que no...
Yes, it's just that no...
El meu és de
Mine is from
principiant d'escatologia.
beginner in eschatology.
Al costat d'això?
Next to this?
Les vostres són escatològiques.
Yours are scatological.
És cumlaude, tio.
It's cum laude, dude.
Perdó.
Sorry.
Jo miro, però és que jo he arribat a mirar
I look, but it's just that I have come to look.
a IMDB actors que puguin tenir
to IMDB actors that they may have
grans poderosos.
great powerfuls.
No és veritat, això.
That's not true.
I que vagin amb manoletines al rodatge.
And let them go with slippers to the filming.
Superada la planta menys 1,
After reaching floor minus 1,
jo no sé què ens depararà
I don't know what lies ahead for us.
la planta menys 2,
the basement level 2,
i ja quan arribem a la menys 6 tampoc ho sé,
and I don't know when we'll arrive at minus 6 either,
però és igual, anirem avançant de mica en mica,
but it doesn't matter, we will keep progressing little by little,
ens deixarem portar per aquest Tutuqui Esplash,
we will let ourselves be carried away by this Tutuqui Esplash,
que és la ronda perversa. Anem a la planta menys 2, si us plau.
What is the wicked round? Let's go to floor minus 2, please.
Tutuqui Esplash a del grans, eh?
Tutuqui Esplash is one of the greats, huh?
Planta menys 2, perversió quotidiana.
Floor minus 2, daily perversion.
I ara toca endinsar-se a l'abocador dels records.
And now it's time to delve into the dump of memories.
Ens agrada, ja ho sabeu,
We like it, you already know.
perquè nosaltres som gent malvada.
because we are wicked people.
Som molt malvats.
We are very evil.
Quin material pescarem avui entre la putrefacció?
What material will we fish today among the decay?
Tots tenim un abocador del Garrafa a la nostra memòria.
We all have a dump of the Garrafa in our memory.
Això de pescar records,
This of fishing for memories,
jo també ho veig com això d'aquests cubicles
I also see it like this about these cubicles.
que hi ha a les fires, plens de peluixos,
what there is at the fairs, full of stuffed toys,
que has d'atrapar amb un ganxo que mous tu, sabeu?
that you have to catch with a hook that you move, you know?
Sí.
Yes.
Els ganxos aquests que mous tu,
Those hooks that you move,
costa molt agafar el peluix que desitges, costa moltíssim.
It is very difficult to get the stuffed animal you want, it is extremely difficult.
T'obsessiones amb aquell picatxo,
You get obsessed with that pickaxe,
però no ets prou d'estre amb el ganxo.
but you are not enough of a star with the hook.
Doncs va, anem a fer servir aquest ganxo ara
Well then, let's use this hook now.
per agafar un record del cubicle, a veure quin toca.
to take a souvenir from the cubicle, let's see which one it is.
Segona pregunta d'aquesta 18a i última jornada d'aquesta temporada.
Second question of this 18th and final matchday of this season.
Quin record pestilent i abominable
What a foul and abominable smell.
repesques indefectiblement
inevitably recovered
cada vegada que t'endinses a l'abocador dels records?
Every time you delve into the dump of memories?
Però un instant, un instant,
But a moment, a moment,
perquè la temàtica del record la triarem a través de...
because we will choose the theme of memory through...
La ruleta macabra.
The macabre roulette.
Ah!
Ah!
Quatre opcions, quatre opcions.
Four options, four options.
Record sexual.
Sexual record.
L'ha vingut ràpid, també.
He has come quickly, too.
Ja el té, eh, ja el té.
You've got it, huh, you've got it.
Oh, però... No, no, no.
Oh, but... No, no, no.
Record d'infantesa, record laboral o tema lliure.
Childhood memory, work memory, or free topic.
Oh, que tema lliure, que tema lliure!
Oh, what a free theme, what a free theme!
El nostre... No, això no ho decidim nosaltres,
Our... No, we don't decide that,
ho decideix la ruleta macabra que tenim aquí, el nostre croupier.
It is decided by the macabre roulette we have here, our croupier.
Per favor, que no caigui a mi primer.
Please, let it not fall on me first.
El veig desmillorat, Jeremie Lanois.
I see him deteriorated, Jeremie Lanois.
Ah, però la farem girar, no la podem tirar.
Ah, but we'll make it spin, we can't throw it away.
És aquest tio sinistre d'aquí, Jeremie Lanois, el veieu?
It's this sinister guy here, Jeremie Lanois, do you see him?
I tant.
Absolutely.
Hòstia, tu, quin estaquirot.
Wow, what a stick in the mud.
Jeremie Lanois, fes-la girar, sisplau.
Jeremie Lanois, please turn it around.
Fes girar la ruleta, Jeremie.
Spin the roulette, Jeremie.
Vinga, vinga, la ruleta, la ruleta.
Come on, come on, the roulette, the roulette.
Tema lliure.
Free topic.
Tema lliure!
Free topic!
Acabàrem-ho.
We finished it.
Per tant, repeteixo la pregunta,
Therefore, I repeat the question,
quin record pestilent i abominable
what a foul and abominable smell
repesques indefectiblement cada vegada
you always recover indefatigably every time
que t'endinses a l'abocador dels records?
Are you delving into the landfill of memories?
Tema lliure.
Free theme.
Comença Olalla Moreno.
Olalla Moreno begins.
Hòstia, però pestilent i abominable...
Holy shit, but stinky and abominable...
És que...
It's that...
Posa-li pestilent i abominable...
Putrid and abominable...
Posa-li el que vulguis.
Put whatever you want on it.
I haurem d'agilitzar una mica, perquè aquí tanquen a les 9.
We will have to speed up a bit, because they close at 9.
Vaig ràpid.
I'm going fast.
Sí, perquè jo no em vull quedar aquí tancada amb el Xavi
Yes, because I don't want to be stuck here with Xavi.
per si em treu unes manoletines.
in case you take away some little shoes.
O se les posa ell.
Or he puts them on.
Intento anar ràpida.
I try to go fast.
Va ser un moment també dolent de la meva època,
It was also a bad moment of my time,
això també té a veure amb una parella.
this also has to do with a couple.
Com no?
Of course not!
Estàvem passant un mal moment,
We were having a hard time,
llavors vaig anar a sopar amb 4 amigues.
Then I went out to dinner with 4 friends.
Llavors va passar aquella cosa que et pregunten
Then that thing happened that they ask you about.
Ikei, Ikei, com estàs?
Ikei, Ikei, how are you?
Llavors estàvem a un mexicà i compartíem menjar,
Then we were at a Mexican restaurant and sharing food,
dos i dos.
two and two.
Llavors, com que a mi em van fer aquella pregunta,
Then, since they asked me that question,
jo vaig començar a xerrar, xerrar, xerrar,
I started to chat, chat, chat,
i la companya del costat es va menjar el menjar.
And the colleague next to me ate the food.
I jo no vaig tenir menjar, però mentrestant
And I didn't have food, but in the meantime
anàvem bevent frozen margaritas.
we were drinking frozen margaritas.
I me'n vaig beure 4.
I drank 4 of them.
Llavors, entre la meva angoixa,
Then, amid my anguish,
la pena, els margaritas,
the sorrow, the daisies,
vaig acabar molt borratxa.
I ended up very drunk.
Llavors en aquell moment van decidir
Then at that moment they decided.
per què no anem a casa de l'Andrea Ros?
Why don't we go to Andrea Ros's house?
Que hi ha una festa.
There is a party.
I jo vaig anar com a buenamente pude.
And I went as best as I could.
Vaig arribar allà fent corbes
I arrived there winding.
i quan vaig arribar a casa de l'Andrea Ros
and when I arrived at Andrea Ros's house
jo tot ho veia borrós,
I saw everything blurry,
jo tot ho veia malament i vaig dir
I saw everything wrong and I said.
i llavors agafo i me'n vaig cap a casa
And then I take off and head home.
tot per gràcia fent corbes també una altra vegada.
All for grace, making curves once again.
I m'havia barallat amb el nòvio, com o no?
I had fought with my boyfriend, how about that?
Que estava a Madrid rodant una cosa.
I was in Madrid shooting something.
Llavors agafo el telèfon,
Then I pick up the phone,
a la tarda de la matinada,
in the afternoon of the dawn,
el truco i dic
the trick and I say
ets un gilipollas i un subnormal.
you are an idiot and a fool.
I vaig penjar el telèfon.
I hung up the phone.
I llavors
And then
me'n vaig a dormir,
I'm going to sleep.
vaig quedar grogui
I was left groggy.
i l'endemà em desperto
and the next day I wake up
adormida sobre el meu propi vòmit.
asleep on my own vomit.
Aaaaah!
Aaaaah!
Segona vegada que algú dorm
Second time someone sleeps.
amb el seu propi vòmit
with his own vomit
a la història de la Ronda Perversa.
to the history of the Perversa Round.
Amb el teu propi vòmit al terra,
With your own vomit on the ground,
amb una borratxera
with a drunkenness
impressionant que no em podia moure,
impressive that I couldn't move,
amb un asset
with an asset
que m'estava morint,
that I was dying,
però és que no em podia...
but I couldn't...
Llavors vaig haver d'estar 4 hores
Then I had to be there for 4 hours.
enganxada al meu propi vòmit
stuck to my own vomit
sense poder-me moure
without being able to move
i a més a més amb la trucada del nòvio
and also with the boyfriend's call
que em diu, què?
What does he/she say to me, what?
I jo, què?
And me, what?
Hosti, sí que és un record pastil·lent.
Wow, that's really a sugary memory.
Puc no participar d'aquí?
Can I not participate from here?
I em diu, què?
What did you say to me?
Ves rebuscant en el cubicle.
Go rummaging in the cubicle.
I jo, què?
And me, what?
I em diu, home, què em vas dir?
And he tells me, man, what did you say to me?
I jo...
And I...
I em diu, home, hola, ja.
He tells me, man, hello, already.
I jo li vaig dir, bueno,
And I told him, well,
a veure, tu no has begut mai?
Let's see, have you never drunk?
Jo estava borratxa.
I was drunk.
I jo et vull fer una pregunta.
And I want to ask you a question.
Aquest nòvio és el mateix?
Is this boyfriend the same?
Hosti, noi, potser hem de revisar aquí
Damn, dude, maybe we need to review this here.
els criteris d'admissió.
the admission criteria.
Em va perdonar perquè estava borratxa
She forgave me because I was drunk.
i hem de dir que ell bevia més que ningú.
And we must say that he drank more than anyone.
Saps? Però vaig tenir aquell moment,
You know? But I had that moment,
és un subnormal i un gilipollas.
He's an idiot and a jerk.
I pum! I l'hi vaig fer.
I boom! And I did it to him.
I l'hi vaig fer.
And I did it to him/her.
Molt bé, tenim el primer record pescat del cubicle.
Very well, we have the first memory fished out of the cubicle.
D'aquest abocador dels records.
From this dump of memories.
A veure, el Xavi Franquesa, quin record tindrà?
Let's see, what memory will Xavi Franquesa have?
És difícil de superar perquè
It's hard to overcome because
ara m'ha vingut, jo que soc molt mal home,
now it has come to me, I who am a very bad man,
ara m'ha vingut al cap, ho dic,
now it has come to my mind, I say,
grans morts de la història del rock han sigut
great deaths in the history of rock have been
per morir ofegats pel seu propi amor.
to drown in their own love.
Jimmy Hendrix.
Jimmy Hendrix.
Diuen, home, no hi ha nada peor, no hi ha res pitjor.
They say, man, there is nothing worse, there is nothing worse.
Que trist, morir ofegat pel teu propi amor.
How sad, to drown in your own love.
Sí.
Yes.
Uns quants, i algú pensa,
A few, and someone thinks,
hòstia, hi ha alguna cosa pitjor que morir ofegat pel teu propi vòmit?
Damn, is there anything worse than dying choked on your own vomit?
Sí, morir ofegat amb el vòmit d'un altre.
Yes, to die drowned in someone else's vomit.
Bé, dit això...
Well, that said...
No, no, ja està, ja està.
No, no, it's fine, it's fine.
Heu obert la porta del
You have opened the door of the
carreró que dóna l'escatologia.
alley that leads to eschatology.
Jo la meva...
I my...
Està relacionada amb una persona
It is related to a person.
que no va arribar a ser parella mai
who never became a couple
i ara explicaré el perquè.
And now I will explain why.
Jo tinc un... jo soc molt...
I have a... I am very...
Dins la meva escatologia
Within my eschatology
soc bastant maniàtic.
I am quite a stickler.
És a dir, soc un tio molt maniàtic.
That is to say, I'm a very picky guy.
Tinc toc, tinc cosetes.
I have OCD, I have little things.
I sobretot soc maniàtic de l'ordre i de la neteja.
And above all, I am obsessive about order and cleanliness.
I soc molt fan dels bidets.
I am a big fan of bidets.
Amb això ja dono una pista.
With this, I already give a clue.
Soc molt fan dels bidets.
I am a big fan of bidets.
No entenc aquestes cases que diuen
I don't understand these houses that say.
no baño completo. Baño completo, on és el bidet?
no full bathroom. Full bathroom, where is the bidet?
Aquesta és la meva pregunta. Bé, dit això,
This is my question. Well, that said,
jo estava a un local,
I was at a venue,
home, en un ambient...
man, in an environment...
Un local festiu.
A festive place.
No, no.
No, no.
Una discoteca. Sí, era una discoteca,
A nightclub. Yes, it was a nightclub.
pub, club, com li vulguis dir.
pub, club, whatever you want to call it.
Era una super discoteca. I hi havia una noia
It was a super nightclub. And there was a girl.
amb la que jo tenia una tensió sexual
with whom I had a sexual tension
no resolta. Des de feia ja un temps.
not resolved. For some time now.
Una noia que curiosament m'agradava bastant.
A girl whom I was surprisingly quite fond of.
I bé, i amb una d'aquestes
And well, and with one of these.
vam tenir la nit
we had the night
intercanviant mirades, xerradetes...
exchanging glances, small talk...
I amb una d'aquestes, clar, jo em vaig sentir
And with one of those, of course, I felt
lleugerament indisposat,
slightly unwell,
estomacalment parlant.
stomach-wise speaking.
Ah, vale, de què parlem? De dalt o de baix?
Ah, okay, what are we talking about? From the top or from the bottom?
De baix. I vaig entrar, vaig fer
From below. And I went in, I did
una magliadura dels intestins.
a bruise of the intestines.
Vaig anar al lavabo de,
I went to the bathroom of,
com acostumo a fer sempre... De noies, no?
As I usually do... Girls, right?
De discapacitats.
Of disabilities.
El lavabo de discapacitats, perquè sempre entenc
The disabled restroom, because I always understand.
que és el que està més net,
what is the cleanest,
més ample,
wider,
pots deixar coses,
you can leave things,
en aquest cas no portava res,
in this case, I wasn't carrying anything,
i el que portava ho havia de deixar allà dins.
and what he was carrying had to be left inside there.
I clar, al ser
And of course, upon being
un club,
a club,
no respecten aquest tipus de lavabos,
they do not respect this type of toilet,
no els respecten, i entrava absolutament
they are not respected, and it entered absolutely
tothom, unes cues interminables,
everyone, some endless queues,
i quan vaig entrar, clar,
And when I walked in, of course,
jo ja me'l vaig trobar,
I already ran into him.
jo me'l vaig trobar que era bastant infectat.
I found him to be quite infected.
Però jo quan vaig rematar
But when I finished.
vaig deixar com una bomba de racimo.
I left like a cluster bomb.
Vaig deixar una bomba de racimo.
I left a cluster bomb.
Bomba de racimo?
Cluster bomb?
Sí, d'aquesta que taca paret.
Yes, of that one that stains the wall.
Taca paret perquè...
Stain on the wall because...
Perquè jo no,
Because I don't,
ja hi havia una base feta,
there was already a base made,
i la cadena no tirava,
and the chain wasn't pulling,
el truc és intentar la cadena tirar abans.
The trick is to try to throw the chain earlier.
Però vaig dir, home, no funciona la cadena,
But I said, man, the chain doesn't work,
a veure si jo, amb la que baixi,
let's see if I, with what I bring down,
la bomba de racimo fa que això baixi cap avall.
The cluster bomb makes this go down.
I no va baixar cap avall.
And he did not go down at all.
De fet, va tenir com la intenció de sortir cap enfora.
In fact, it had the intention of going outwards.
Quina xima, eh?
What a shame, huh?
Jo va haver un moment que vaig intentar arreglar,
I had a moment when I tried to fix it,
però evidentment ja sabeu que a les nits
but obviously you already know that at night
no existeix el paper higiènic, no hi ha res,
toilet paper does not exist, there is nothing,
l'aigua de l'aixeta... Sí, desapareix tot a la nit.
The tap water... Yes, everything disappears at night.
Era tot. El paper desapareix a la nit.
It was all. The paper disappears at night.
Efectivament, el paper higiènic desapareix miraculosament,
Indeed, the toilet paper disappears miraculously,
i clar, jo vaig veure el drama
And of course, I saw the drama.
i dic, home, aquí, ara jo
I say, man, here, now me.
faig una cosa, surto
I'm doing something, I'm leaving.
ràpid,
quick,
i escolta, que no em veia ningú,
and listen, no one could see me,
i el que vingui se lo coma.
And whoever comes, let them eat it.
I, justament, tal com obro la porta,
I, just as I open the door,
qui era la persona
who was the person
que estava esperant per entrar?
What was I waiting to enter?
La noia amb la que jo tenia
The girl with whom I had
un quasi-afer,
a quasi-affair,
i, ojo... Això ho va orquestrar
And, oh... This was orchestrated.
l'atzar, perquè no havíeu d'estar junts.
Chance, because you shouldn't have been together.
Efectivament, i quan me la vaig trobar
Indeed, and when I ran into her
la impressió va ser tan forta
the impression was so strong
de veure el drama que venia
to see the drama that was coming
i que anava associat a...
and that was associated with...
Ella pensaria que estava associat a mi,
She would think that he was associated with me,
però no només el que jo acabava de fer,
but not only what I had just done,
sinó tot l'anterior, vull dir, aquest tio ha entrat
but everything before, I mean, this guy has entered
aquí, o de dalt...
here, or up there...
I quan jo vaig sortir, vaig començar
And when I went out, I started
saps allò que no tens...
you know that which you do not have...
Clar, no et ve la frase màgica al moment.
Of course, the magic phrase doesn't come to you right away.
I recordo perfectament
I remember perfectly.
que vaig fer un...
that I did a...
I l'únic que em va sortir a la boca va ser
And the only thing that came out of my mouth was
li vaig dir, hazte cargo.
I told him, take charge.
Hazte cargo.
Take charge.
I a partir d'aquí
And from here
jo vaig fer una bomba de fum,
I made a smoke bomb,
vaig desaparèixer, no només del local
I disappeared, not just from the place.
sinó de la seva vida.
but of their life.
De la ciutat.
From the city.
I tot per una bomba de racimo.
And all for a cluster bomb.
La frase que després jo recordava,
The phrase that I later remembered,
el dia següent he dit, hazte cargo
The next day I said, take charge.
li vaig dir. És a dir, no sé ben bé
I told him. That is to say, I don't really know.
què volia dir amb això, però recordo que la frase
what did that mean, but I remember that the sentence
li vaig dir, hazte cargo. Hazte cargo
I told him, take charge. Take charge.
per mi, en el meu cap, era com, home, entenc
For me, in my head, it was like, man, I understand.
que això ja estava així, però hazte cargo
that this was already like this, but take responsibility
sembla fins i tot com dir
it even seems like saying
neteja això, saps?
Clean this, you know?
La frase més desafortunada
The most unfortunate phrase
de la història de les frases.
from the history of phrases.
I me'n vaig anar tota la nit amb aquesta frase,
I went all night with this phrase,
el dia següent aquesta frase, em va passar aquí.
The day after this sentence, it happened to me here.
I no vas tenir el valor de...
And you didn't have the courage to...
No, mai més.
No, never again.
A veure, no m'estranya.
Let's see, I'm not surprised.
Quants anys fa d'aquesta història, aproximadament?
How many years ago was this story, approximately?
15 mesos. Sí, 15 com a mínim.
15 months. Yes, 15 at least.
15 i 20. I encara recordes
15 and 20. And do you still remember?
l'hazte cargo i la bomba de racimo.
the hazte cargo and the cluster bomb.
Mai més a un local
Never again at a venue.
vaig al lavabo. Ens hem pogut imaginar
I'm going to the bathroom. We have been able to imagine.
aquest lavabo, ens hem pogut imaginar
this bathroom, we have been able to imagine
l'Olalla Moreno
Olalla Moreno
dormint, legal, tan enganxat
sleeping, legal, so stuck
al seu propi bòmet. Tot això d'avui és molt escatològic.
to its own limit. All this today is very scatological.
Però, Mariona Ribas,
But, Mariona Ribas,
Mariona Ribas,
Mariona Ribas,
el teu record, quin record
your memory, what a memory
repesquem.
we rescue.
Vull del pap, el tens, el tens.
I want the paper, do you have it, do you have it?
No puc ni igualar això.
I can't even match that.
No, però segur que en tens algun.
No, but I'm sure you have one.
Explica'ns-ho. Tinc un record.
Tell us about it. I have a memory.
Tinc un record
I have a memory.
de... Jo també
of... Me too
no tinc toc ni aquestes coses,
I don't have any quirks or those kinds of things.
però sóc bastant maniàtica
but I am quite manic
amb la higiene personal.
with personal hygiene.
Per tant, a la meva feina
Therefore, at my job
també he trobat alguna perla.
I have also found some pearls.
I sóc molt curiosa,
I am very curious,
sóc molt maniàtica, m'endutxo dues vegades
I'm very compulsive, I shower twice.
cada dia, si puc, tres.
Every day, if I can, three.
Perquè tinc molt d'altres.
Because I have a lot of others.
Llavors, una vegada
Then, once
vaig tenir un afer
I had an affair.
amb un noi
with a boy
i tot superbé.
and everything is great.
Van aparèixer les coses? Sí.
Did the things appear? Yes.
Aquell dia sí, després ja no.
That day yes, after that no.
I vaig passar la nit
I spent the night.
a casa seva. A més, jo venia d'estar a casa
at your house. Besides, I had just been at home.
d'una col·lega. Total, que no me'n
from a colleague. So, I don't care.
vaig anar amb la roba
I went with the clothes.
que vaig arribar.
that I arrived.
D'acord? I, bueno,
Okay? And, well,
jo vaig mirar,
I looked,
després de l'entorn cuital,
after the cooked environment,
l'endemà vaig fer una revisió
The next day I did a review.
de recuperació, saps?
of recovery, you know?
No, a més a més,
No, besides,
aquesta cosa que als homes us posa tan nerviós
this thing that makes men so nervous
perquè no us trobeu gaire bé,
because you are not feeling very well,
de, em deixo una cosa... Ai, bueno, clar,
of, I forgot one thing... Oh, well, of course,
no, em deixo una arrecada vol dir
"No, I am leaving an earring behind."
me l'has arrencat o m'ha caigut en un moment
Did you rip it from me or did it fall in a moment?
d'energia hormonal important
of important hormonal energy
i de
and of
de furor, no? Vale. Vaig fer un
Of fury, right? Okay. I did a
vaig fer un anàlisi així, tiqui-tiqui-tiqui-tiqui,
I did an analysis like this, tik-tik-tik-tik.
vaig dir, bueno, ja te l'aguanto.
I said, well, I'll hold it for you.
Total, que torno a casa meva
Overall, I'm going back home.
i l'endemà
and the next day
dic, hosti,
I say, damn,
em falta algú.
I miss someone.
Escric a la persona en qüestió i li vaig dir, per cert,
I write to the person in question and I told him, by the way,
no trobo la meva camisa. Dic,
I can't find my shirt. I say,
ah, sí, sí,
oh, yes, yes,
te la vas deixar. Dic,
you left it behind. I say,
home, m'ho podies
man, could you do it for me
dir, que em vaig deixar una brusa a casa teva,
to say that I left a blouse at your house,
no? Clar, i una mica bé em deia,
No? Of course, and a little bit, he was telling me.
però com vas marxar? Dic, no, perquè
But how did you leave? I mean, no, because
duia, duia...
I was wearing, I was wearing...
Recampi. Duia una muda,
Recamp. He was carrying a change of clothes,
per si sempre s'ha de portar una muda quan vas
Just in case, you always have to bring a change of clothes when you go.
fora a fer el pilingui. Total,
outside to go partying. Totally,
cada cop, no?, vaig dir, bueno,
every time, right?, I said, well,
aquella persona, pel que fos,
that person, for whatever reason,
va decidir que ja no estava interessat
he decided that he was no longer interested
en veure'ns mai més,
never seeing us again,
però clar, jo tenia allà una prenda de roba
but of course, I had a piece of clothing there
que volia recuperar. Em va costar
that I wanted to recover. It was difficult for me.
la vida recuperar aquella camisa, no en
life to recover that shirt, not in
tinc el perquè, perquè jo realment
I have the reason, because I really
volia la meva brusa. A part, no crec que ningú
I wanted my blouse. Apart from that, I don't think anyone.
s'hagi de quedar una
has to stay one
prenda de... Jo tenia un amic que
a piece of... I had a friend who
col·leccionava calces, sí?
You collected panties, didn't you?
Sí, col·leccionava calcetes
Yes, I collected bras.
de les seves amants o les seves
of their lovers or theirs
concubines, no?, i tal. I un dia
concubines, right?, and so on. And one day
l'hi vaig deixar a casa meva, vale?, perquè
I left it at my house, okay?, because
es quedés a treballar i tal, i li vaig dir, per cert, he
he stayed to work and so on, and I told him, by the way, I have
comptat totes les calces, entenc que no t'interessen
Considering all the factors, I understand that you're not interested.
perquè tu i jo no ens hem enllitat, no?, i són netes,
because you and I haven't gotten dirty, right? and they're clean,
però per si de cas les tinc totes, he fet
but just in case I have them all, I have done.
un inventari de calces, no? Que no te'n quedis cap.
an inventory of socks, right? Don't keep any for yourself.
Cuidado, aquí, no? Total, que, bueno,
Careful, here, right? So, well,
hi havia molta reticència de tornar-me
there was a lot of reluctance to return me
la meva camisa i al final em vaig putejar i vaig dir,
my shirt and in the end I got upset and said,
bueno, escolta, què passa?
Well, listen, what's happening?
No? Vale, molt bé, ja he entès que potser...
No? Okay, very well, I have understood that maybe...
És que això va quedar molt malament.
It’s just that this turned out very badly.
Total, que finalment el vaig...
In the end, I finally...
No sé com, crec que el meu to ja va ser un altre,
I don't know how, I think my tone was already different.
no?, i vaig aconseguir que em tornés la camisa.
No? And I managed to get my shirt back.
Total, ens vam trobar
In total, we met.
en un pàrquing, en un pàrquing...
in a parking lot, in a parking lot...
En un pàrquing. En un pàrquing.
In a parking lot. In a parking lot.
En un pàrquing. En una zona neutra.
In a parking lot. In a neutral area.
En un pàrquing per tornar una camisa. Pàrquing del Viena.
In a parking lot to return a shirt. Vienna parking lot.
Del Viena. Com si es passa...
From Vienna. How to get through...
Sí, sí. Coca-cola o... Total.
Yes, yes. Coca-cola or... Total.
O diner negre, tu. Clar, clar, saps?
Oh black money, you. Of course, of course, you know?
I de cop, bueno, vaig recuperar
And suddenly, well, I recovered.
la meva prenda, que m'havia costat un mes exacte,
my garment, which had cost me exactly a month,
des de la data de la còpula,
since the date of the copulation,
que dic, escolta'm,
what I say, listen to me,
he prescrit aquest coi,
I have prescribed this damn thing,
tu m'entens? Potser que recuperi les meves coses.
Do you understand me? Maybe I should retrieve my things.
I em va entregar
He delivered me.
amb una bosseta, tal i qual.
with a little bag, just like that.
Què és el primer que vaig fer quan
What is the first thing I did when
vaig pujar al cotxe? No, allà no,
Did I get in the car? No, not there.
perquè vaig pensar que no em veiés.
because I thought he/she wouldn't see me.
Vaig pensar, els retrovisos són tramposos.
I thought, the rearview mirrors are deceptive.
Vaig anar cap a casa meva, el primer
I went towards my house, the first.
que vaig fer quan vaig aparcar, què va ser?
What did I do when I parked, what was it?
Que algú digui. Obrir la bossa
Let someone speak. Open the bag.
i ensumar la camisa,
and smell the shirt,
la brusa, per saber si se l'havia
the blouse, to see if she had it
posat a una altra persona. T'ho juro.
Put yourself in someone else's shoes. I swear it.
No, no, no. Per saber si... Per saber per què.
No, no, no. To know if... To know why.
Feia una olor
It had a smell.
horrible.
horrible.
Aquella brusa havia estat aquell mes,
That blouse had been that month,
estic segura que havia estat el covell
I am sure it had been the bucket.
de la roba bruta d'aquell senyor,
from that gentleman's dirty laundry,
per dir-li algo. I de cop dic,
to tell him something. And suddenly I say,
perquè ni jo, o sigui, ni que me l'hagués
because neither I, I mean, even if I had it
deixat posada tota la nit
left on all night
a la ventilatòria, jo no faig aquella olor.
In the ventilator, I don't smell that.
Perquè a més, si em dutxo de normal,
Because also, if I shower normally,
quan vaig a una cita, creieu-me
When I go on a date, believe me.
que la higiene és de túnel de lavado.
that hygiene is like a car wash.
Era aquella oloreta... Sé quina oloreta era.
It was that little smell... I know which little smell it was.
Aquella de quan vas a fer esport
That one when you are going to play sports.
i t'oblides de buir a la bossa,
and you forget to empty the bag,
i després... Això!
And then... That!
Era l'olor d'ell.
It was his scent.
Ell no feia mala olor. De bossa descuidada.
He didn't smell bad. Of a careless bag.
Com que som molt sensibles amb els olors,
As we are very sensitive to smells,
vaig reconèixer que allò era la seva sopa,
I recognized that it was his soup.
de la barreja de mitjó... Combinat
from the sock mixture... Combined
amb quan fas així, els que portem a recadar,
when you do that, those of us who are collecting,
que fas així i després fas... Ah!
What are you doing like that and then you do... Ah!
Aquesta olor, així,
This smell, like this,
que és molt característica, que és tancat,
which is very characteristic, which is closed,
olor tancat... No, barrejat amb mitjó...
closed smell... No, mixed with sock...
Resclusit! Resclusit!
Rescued! Rescued!
El que diem aquí, amb ferum,
What we say here, with a stench,
de resclusit, és l'olor que fa aquest local.
It is the smell that this place gives off.
Això no pot igualar les vostres merdes,
This cannot match your crap.
que són meravelloses, però és de...
that are wonderful, but it is from...
I la brusa va acabar a les escombraries?
And did the blouse end up in the garbage?
La brusa va estar tota la nit en remull.
The blouse was soaked all night.
Ah! Tota la nit en remull.
Ah! All night soaking wet.
Però crec que és una brusa que no em porta gaire sort,
But I think it’s a blouse that doesn’t bring me much luck,
en temes de llençols,
in terms of sheets,
i crec que la llençaré. Potser la cremaré.
I think I will throw it away. Maybe I will burn it.
He arribat a tirar peces de roba, jo, eh?
I have even thrown away pieces of clothing, me, huh?
De persona, sí, sí.
In person, yes, yes.
Per mala sort o pel pudor que feia?
Out of bad luck or because of the stench it gave off?
Són coses d'aquest tipus. No m'ha interessat i fora.
They are things of this kind. I haven't been interested and that's it.
Ja, ja, ja. Bé, arribats a aquest punt,
Ha, ha, ha. Well, having arrived at this point,
viatgem a la planta menys 3,
we travel to floor minus 3,
que és la planta on escoltem música.
What is the floor where we listen to music?
Espero que avui afineu bé els vostres gustos.
I hope you refine your tastes well today.
Anem-hi!
Let's go!
Rapesca i música són dos conceptes
Fishing and music are two concepts.
que sovint es relacionen.
that are often related.
Hi ha cançons que fa mesos quan escoltes
There are songs that months later when you listen to them.
i de sobte, durant uns dies, et retorna a la ment
And suddenly, for a few days, it comes back to your mind.
i et passes una setmana posant-te l'embucle.
And you spend a week getting yourself tangled up.
Pa, pa, pa. Els humans som així.
Bread, bread, bread. Humans are like that.
Funcionem a base de rampells.
We operate on a basis of spurts.
Les cançons són com aquests flirts,
Songs are like these flirts,
com aquest que tu tens, per exemple,
like this one you have, for example,
amb aquest noi de la brusa. Tenia.
with this boy in the shirt. He had.
Ha prescrit, però estrepitosament.
It has expired, but spectacularly.
D'aquests que apareix i desapareix.
Of those that appear and disappear.
Saps aquesta gent que apareix i desapareix,
Do you know those people who appear and disappear,
com espectres? Doncs passa el mateix amb la música.
Like spectres? Well, the same happens with music.
Jo aquests dies he rapescat, per exemple,
I have been fishing these days, for example,
Foc al cos, de Sauber.
Fire to the body, from Sauber.
Sé que tinc la nit guanyada.
I know I have the night won.
Sé que en qualsevol racó, d'ara fins la matinada,
I know that in any corner, from now until dawn,
lleparé la melmelada del teu cos.
I will lick the jam off your body.
Uou, uou, uou.
Wow, wow, wow.
Doncs aquesta l'he repescada jo, aquests dies.
Well, I've rediscovered this one myself, these days.
Tercera pregunta d'una batllada èpica.
Third question of an epic battle.
Quina cançó de la teva adolescència
What song from your adolescence?
rapesques a YouTube
You search on YouTube
o Spotify de tant en tant,
or Spotify from time to time,
dominat per la nostàlgia,
dominated by nostalgia,
i la frueixes en un acte íntim
and you enjoy it in an intimate act
que no vols compartir amb ningú?
that you don't want to share with anyone?
I començarem per la Mariona Ribas.
We will start with Mariona Ribas.
Aquesta cançó
This song
és d'un grup amb un nom bastant espantós
It's from a group with a rather scary name.
que es deia Los Presones Rebeldes.
which was called The Rebel Prisoners.
És una cançó que es diu Al amanecer.
It's a song called At Dawn.
La festival, la festival.
The festival, the festival.
No puedo parar de reír.
I can't stop laughing.
Te la saps, eh? No, no.
You know it, right? No, no.
Aquella nit, per sort, sonaven altres coses.
That night, fortunately, other things were ringing out.
No me faltes nunca.
Never fail me.
Yo tengo derecho a ser feliz.
I have the right to be happy.
No te vayas lejos.
Don't go far away.
Però aquesta cançó és bona, eh?
But this song is good, huh?
I jo també la rapesco de tant en tant.
And I also call her up from time to time.
Què et passa amb aquesta cançó?
What's wrong with you about this song?
Aquesta cançó em recorda, a tardes,
This song reminds me of afternoons,
el nyap buf de Sabadell.
the Sabadell's nyap buf.
Jo no bec alcohol, normalment,
I don’t drink alcohol, usually.
així en general,
so in general,
perquè em dóna molta son,
because it makes me very sleepy,
llavors no vaig enlloc.
then I go nowhere.
Però bevia licor de préssec amb gel.
But she drank peach liquor with ice.
Tampoc ens estranyem,
We are not surprised either,
i em recorda una cançó molt fresca,
And it reminds me of a very fresh song,
amb aquesta veu com infantilitzada,
with this almost childlike voice,
fins i tot,
even,
i la ballava, o sigui,
and she was dancing it, I mean,
era un hit.
it was a hit.
Llavors em recorda o a Paradium,
Then it reminds me of Paradium,
o al nyap buf,
or the blow job,
o a les tardes amb les meves amigues,
or in the afternoons with my friends,
o a la platja Baru.
or to Baru beach.
Un dels locals que aquí hem citat en algunes ocasions,
One of the venues that we have mentioned here on some occasions,
que és el Cangarejo.
what is the Cangarejo.
Ah, hòstia.
Ah, damn.
És un local al qual jo hi vaig de tant en tant,
It's a place I go to from time to time.
hi he anat amb el Josep Morada.
I have gone with Josep Morada.
Aquesta la posen de vegades,
They play this one sometimes,
no a totes les sessions,
not to all the sessions,
però de tant en tant sona,
but now and then it sounds,
i hòstia, veig que la gent la canta.
Oh damn, I see that people are singing it.
O sigui, jo fa molts anys que vaig al Cangarejo,
So, I've been going to the Cangarejo for many years.
i ara,
and now,
ara ha entrat com una nostàlgia,
now it has entered like a nostalgia,
de nits molt poderoses.
of very powerful nights.
És meravellós, és meravellós.
It is wonderful, it is wonderful.
Però encara aguanta aquella...
But that one still holds on...
Ha tingut com un revival, no?
It has been like a revival, hasn't it?
Una decadència B, decadència B.
A decline B, decline B.
És meravellós,
It is wonderful,
i a més perquè tanquen a les 3,
and also because they close at 3,
cosa que és sensacional per homes ja de la meva edat.
something that is sensational for men my age.
Que no volem estar fins a les 6 del matí, però...
We don't want to be here until 6 in the morning, but...
Bueno, bueno, no hi ha, però, pel Marula i tot allò.
Well, well, there isn't, but for the Marula and all that.
Mira d'ella!
Look at her!
El mapa, el mapa de la relleu.
The map, the map of the relief.
Tornarà pel Xavi Franquesa.
Xavi Franquesa will return.
Doncs jo tinc molts temes inconfessables.
Well, I have many unconfessable topics.
Però ara em centraré ja no tant en un tema,
But now I will focus no longer so much on a topic,
que també,
that also,
però em centraré en un disc molt concret.
but I will focus on a very specific album.
Jo no era adolescència, era joventut.
I was not adolescence, I was youth.
Vaig tenir també un...
I also had a...
diguéssim, un afer amorós,
let's say, a love affair,
que va sortir...
that came out...
regolintxi.
Regolintxi.
Aquí en aquesta taula hi ha molts afer amorosos.
Here at this table there are many romantic affairs.
Regolintxi.
Regolintxi.
Vaig quedar tocat.
I was affected.
El marquet està regolintxi, també, ja que parlem.
The market is also regulating itself while we speak.
Però jo quedo més tocat quan el que abandona sóc jo.
But I feel more affected when it is me who is left.
En sèrio?
Seriously?
Això em destrossa molt més la moral, haver d'abandonar jo,
This destroys my morale much more, having to abandon it myself,
perquè em sento que m'he traïcionat a mi mateix,
because I feel that I have betrayed myself,
a banda de l'altra persona.
besides the other person.
A mi que m'hagin deixat...
The fact that they left me...
Jo vaig començar amb una relació que em van deixar,
I started with a relationship that I was left in.
per tant, ho vaig naturalitzar.
therefore, I naturalized it.
El que em fa molt de greu és sentir
What makes me very sad is to hear
que m'he equivocat amb el meu sentiment.
that I was wrong about my feelings.
Bé, llavors, vaig
Well, then, I'm going.
tenir moments que... A més, jo treballava
to have moments that... Moreover, I was working
amb aquesta persona, i tenia...
with this person, and I had...
l'única via d'escapament que tenia
the only escape route I had
era marxar jo amb el cotxe,
it was to leave with the car,
perquè havíem de passar moltes hores junts,
because we had to spend many hours together,
jo marxava amb el cotxe, amb un fort fiesta de crèpit
I was leaving in the car, with a loud creaking sound.
que tenia en aquella època, i llavors
what I had at that time, and then
recordo que em posava un CD,
I remember that he/she would put a CD on for me,
aquell temps
that time
ja començaven els primers CDs,
the first CDs were just starting,
i recordo perfectament, és una cosa
I remember perfectly, it's something.
que a mi em costa molt de reconèixer,
that I find it very hard to acknowledge,
però era el disc de boleros
but it was the bolero record
de Luis Miguel.
by Luis Miguel.
I recordo que, a més,
I remember that, moreover,
em deixava anar, perquè a mi em costa molt
she let me go, because it's very hard for me
plorar. Ah, però el cotxe és el millor lloc del món.
to cry. Ah, but the car is the best place in the world.
El cotxe, boleros i a llorar. Clar.
The car, boleros, and crying. Of course.
Però recordo com algo especial...
But I remember it as something special...
És que mira, ara se m'està posant...
It's just that, look, now it's starting to...
Està emocionant. A mi em costa molt
It's exciting. It's very hard for me.
emocionar-me, i em costa molt sobretot
to be moved, and it is very difficult for me above all
plorar, però... M'he fotut la pell de gallina!
crying, but... I've got goosebumps!
És real, això! Jo recordo
It's real, this! I remember.
anava conduint cap on,
I was driving towards,
és igual, no anava cap enlloc.
It doesn't matter, I wasn't going anywhere.
Jo conduïa, feia quilòmetres,
I was driving, covering miles,
em posava això en bucle,
I would loop this.
feia aquella opció del CD que era
it was that option of the CD that was
repit, te'n recordes? Hi havia
repeat, do you remember? There was
repit, i repit, ol, i posava repit.
repeat, and repeat, oh, and I would put repeat.
I em posava una cançó de Luis Miguel
And I would play a song by Luis Miguel.
que era por debajo de la mesa.
that was underneath the table.
No m'ho puc creure!
I can't believe it!
Gallina de piel, gallina de piel!
Chicken of skin, chicken of skin!
Mireu, mopa! Gallina de piel!
Look, mop! Chicken skin!
Gallina de piel!
Chicken skin!
Mira, em fa...
Look, it makes me...
Mira, m'han
Look, they have me
tret estes garifances i tot. I els ulls
except these guarantees and all. And the eyes
vidriosos! Sí, sí, és que
glassy! Yes, yes, it's that
veure't a tu mateix en una situació de conduir
seeing yourself in a driving situation
allò estàs conduint al no-res,
you are driving into nowhere,
escoltant això i
listening to this and
dramatitzant-te... Perquè tu la veies
dramatizing you... Because you saw it
a la feina. Clar, treballàvem junts,
at work. Of course, we worked together,
per tant jo... Però vull dir que...
therefore I... But I mean that...
A més treballàvem en un equip, era una
In addition, we worked as a team, it was a
companyia, per tant, hòstia, jo havia
company, therefore, damn, I had
de trobar els meus moments, i els meus moments
to find my moments, and my moments
més enllà de compartir, perquè a més hi havia
beyond sharing, because there was also
una cosa, que era una lluita perquè jo
one thing, that it was a fight because I
m'havia de fer fort, perquè a més jo era el
I had to be strong, because besides that I was the
jefe d'aquell equip.
head of that team.
I jo havia de tenir una doble personalitat
And I had to have a double personality.
per no afectar aquella situació, i per jo
to not affect that situation, and for me
poder desfogar-me, no volia trobar ningú
to be able to vent, I didn't want to meet anyone
dins l'equip per desfogar-me, perquè em
within the team to vent, because it makes me
semblaria injust, perquè llavors crearia equip,
it would seem unfair, because then it would create a team,
i llavors jo trobava la meva manera d'anar a
and then I found my way to go to
xocar contra el mur. Luis Miguel era el teu
crash against the wall. Luis Miguel was yours
aliat. Era el meu aliat, total.
ally. He was my ally, totally.
No, no, ens hem emocionat ara amb aquesta
No, no, we are excited now with this one.
història, perquè veure el Xavi Franquès emocionat
history, because seeing Xavi Franquès emotional
és una cosa que no ens esperàvem avui a la
it's something we didn't expect today at the
Jura Perversa. Ha estat un gran moment,
Pervasive Oath. It has been a great moment,
un dels moments bonics
one of the beautiful moments
d'aquesta repressa, clar que sí.
of this repression, of course.
Que això et pot
That this can get you
restar punts, o no?
subtract points, or not?
A veure, anem a parlar,
Let’s see, let’s talk.
encara no n'hem parlat amb el Jurat Pervers avui.
we still haven't talked about it with the Pervasive Jury today.
Jurat Pervers, què n'opineu?
Perverse Jury, what do you think about it?
D'acord. M'esperava aquesta
Okay. I was expecting this.
resposta. La fragilitat,
response. The fragility,
la fragilitat
the fragility
pot sumar punts.
can add points.
Això m'ha dit el Jurat Pervers.
This is what the Wicked Jury has told me.
La frase és aquesta, eh?
The sentence is this one, right?
La fragilitat pot sumar punts.
Fragility can add points.
Això m'han dit. Totalment. Olalla Moreno.
This is what they told me. Totally. Olalla Moreno.
No, però el meu és una xurrada.
No, but mine is nonsense.
La teva cançó. És igual, però volen saber la cançó?
Your song. It's the same, but do they want to know the song?
Mira, la meva cançó, en realitat, no és
Look, my song, in reality, is not
de l'adolescència, és de la infantesa.
from adolescence, it is from childhood.
I quina és? És el
And which one is it? It's the
You de l'Anika Costa, Condón Costa,
You from Anika Costa, Condón Costa,
que era com la Rosalía del
that was like the Rosalía of
momento, per mi. A veure, escoltem-la.
Moment, for me. Let's see, let's listen to her.
Ai, Olalla.
Oh, Olalla.
Imatges que ara ens venen de la teva infantesa
Images that now come to us from your childhood.
per casa. Clar, jo em passava hores
at home. Of course, I would spend hours.
tancada a l'habitació de casa meva
locked in my house room
amb un rotulador a la mà, fent
with a marker in hand, doing
You, what would I be
You, what would I be?
without you? Cantant com
without you? Singing like
una boja. I jo sempre he dit
a crazy person. And I have always said
que a mi qui em va
who's going to take me
incitar a fer la tavera
incite to do the paperwork
era la Scarlett O'Hara, això de ser actriu.
It was Scarlett O'Hara, this business of being an actress.
Però jo crec que aquí ja vaig començar amb l'Anika Costa,
But I think that's where I started with Anika Costa,
perquè jo tenia, de veritat, una verdadera
because I had, really, a true
obsessió. I em passava hores
obsession. And I would spend hours
fent aquest xou. Després tenia
doing this show. Then I had
la del Sometimes I wonder,
Sometimes I wonder,
tenia una versió. Vosaltres no la coneixeu?
I had a version. Don't you know it?
No, jo no la conec. Som més joves.
No, I don't know her. We are younger.
És que som joves. En quina edat, exactament?
It's just that we are young. At what age, exactly?
Doncs, devia de tenir uns vuit anys,
Well, I must have been about eight years old,
una cosa així. Però per què aquesta immersió en el món
something like that. But why this immersion in the world
anglosaxó, quan tots de petits hem
Anglo-Saxon, when we were all small we have
escoltat cançons, quasi, no ho sé.
I've listened to songs, almost, I don't know.
També jo sóc un pèl més grandet que vosaltres.
I'm also a bit bigger than you.
Un pèl bastant gran.
A fairly large hair.
No, crec que no, eh? No començava
No, I don’t think so, right? It wasn’t starting.
amb la competició de les edats, que sé que us agrada molt.
with the competition of the ages, which I know you really enjoy.
Aquesta competició sempre arriba, agrada molt
This competition always arrives, and it's very popular.
la competició de les edats. Està bé. Tenia vuit anys.
the competition of the ages. It's fine. I was eight years old.
I a més a més recordo unes vacances a
And furthermore, I remember a holiday in
Ibiza, que jo l'havia vist
Ibiza, that I had seen.
actuar i portava una brusa
I was acting and I was wearing a blouse.
amb topos i tal. I jo vaig fer que els meus
with moles and such. And I made my own
pares anessin per tota Ibiza a buscar-me
parents would go all over Ibiza to look for me
una camisa com la de la Nika
a shirt like Nika's
Costa. Vull dir, era com la Rosalía
Coast. I mean, it was like Rosalía.
del momento, per mi.
of the moment, for me.
I sí, sí. Jo tenia els meus
And yes, yes. I had my ones.
pares buscant banyadors vermells per fer de
parents looking for red swimsuits to act as
vigilante de la playa a Sant Antoni de Calonge.
beach lifeguard in Sant Antoni de Calonge.
I el meu pare em va construir
And my father built me.
un salvavides. No, és molt fort, eh?
a lifebuoy. No, it's very strong, isn't it?
No, no, Déu-n'hi-do. Aquí tothom
No, no, well done. Here everyone
té les seves cosetes, eh? Una taula
It has its little quirks, huh? A table.
de gent amb cosetes. No estem bé.
of people with little things. We are not well.
Molts paradalets pel cap i ara
Many little stops for the head and now
arriba un moment
a moment arrives
que ens encanta aquí a la Ronda Perversa.
that we love here at the Perversion Roundabout.
Per divuitena vegada
For the eighteenth time
viurem una planta amb oragues.
We will live on a floor with gardens.
La planta amb oragues!
The plant with orages!
Que és la planta menys quatre.
What is the plant minus four?
Planta menys quatre.
Floor minus four.
Perversió dicotònica.
Dichotomic perversion.
Aviam, anem per feina, que si no ens tacaran i
Let's get to work, because if not, they'll stain us and...
una llàstima quedar-vos aquí tota la nit.
It's a shame to stay here all night.
Amb relació a
In relation to
repescar, us donaré dues opcions, doncs heu de
reselect, I will give you two options, as you have to
decidir quina d'aquestes opcions hipotètiques preferiu.
decide which of these hypothetical options you prefer.
D'acord. Què preferiu? Repescar
Alright. What do you prefer? To go for a catch.
el contacte d'aquella persona que us va agradar
the contact of that person that you liked
tant, que us vau enamorar absolutament,
so much that you fell completely in love,
però que mai no li vau demanar el
but you never asked him
número, o li vau vomitar a sobre,
number, or did you vomit on him/her,
o repescar
or to recatch
una oportunitat laboral perduda que hauria
a lost job opportunity that should have
pogut canviar absolutament la vostra vida cap a
could absolutely change your life towards
l'èxit mundial. És molt bona aquesta.
the worldwide success. This one is very good.
Tu quina, Olalla? Jo la professional.
Which one do you prefer, Olalla? I prefer the professional one.
Sí? Jo ja... Jo crec que tu
Yes? Well... I think it's you.
amb el tema... Si no m'han fet cas, ja,
with the topic... If they haven't listened to me, already,
et prendre pel cul, saps? O sigui...
taking you for a ride, you know? I mean...
I m'he de bé. Deixa't a ti.
I must be good. Let yourself be.
I m'he de bé, i m'he de bé. Exacte.
I'm doing well, and I'm doing well. Exactly.
El tema dels homes ja no t'interessa. No m'han fet
The topic of men no longer interests you. They haven't done anything to me.
cas i de repescar aquí, què?
Just in case of catching anything here, what?
És veritat, tens raó. Jo penso
It's true, you are right. I think
que no ens feia cas, no?
that he/she/they didn't pay attention to us, right?
No, que no es veu atrevir a demanar-li
No, he doesn't dare to ask him.
el contacte. No, no és igual.
the contact. No, it’s not the same.
Però podria haver sortit i tenir amor etern.
But I could have gone out and had eternal love.
No, això no existeix i
No, that does not exist and
ja ho deixarem clar. L'Olalla...
we'll make it clear. Olalla...
La professional, la laboral. Molt bé.
The professional, the work-related. Very good.
Desafacció amb l'amor, veig en aquesta taula, eh?
Challenge with love, I see at this table, huh?
Desenganyo. Que hauries pogut arribar
Disillusionment. You could have arrived.
a una oportunitat que t'hauria
to an opportunity that you would have
portat a Hollywood, per exemple. Home, no ho diràs.
brought to Hollywood, for example. Come on, you won't say that.
A guanyar un Òscar, per exemple. I allà conec el Brad Pitt.
To win an Oscar, for example. And there I meet Brad Pitt.
Sí? Ah, però llavors
Yes? Ah, but then
ja anem a l'home.
We are already going to the man.
No ens facis trampa, no ens facis
Don't cheat us, don't do it.
trampa. I tu, Mariona?
Trap. And you, Mariona?
Jo, la laboral. També?
Me, the labor one. You too?
Estàs de conya.
You must be joking.
Aquí tots estem... Clar, com que ja tenim
Here we all are... Of course, since we already have
una edat, tots superem els 40, menys
an age, we all exceed 40, except for
els Uriam Boragues, i evidentment la Conju
the Uriam Boragues, and obviously Conju
i el Jordan, tots estem molt escaldats amb aquest tema.
And Jordan, we are all very burned out with this topic.
Amb el tema de les parelles i això.
With the topic of couples and all that.
Tenim el cor trossejat. A veure, no.
We have a broken heart. Let's see, no.
El cor trossejat. Perdó, no.
The shattered heart. Sorry, no.
Sí. En tot cas, recusit
Yes. In any case, I reject it.
amb un quinsugui de Marabella, però
with a whatever from Marabella, but
escolta, m'entens, no? Ja he dit jo que
Listen, you understand me, right? I already said that.
el pati... Com està el pati? Fatal.
The yard... How is the yard? Terrible.
No, però jo tinc un dubte
No, but I have a question.
sobre això. Això és de fa temps, no?
About this. This is from a while ago, isn't it?
O sigui, és repescar algú de què?
So, it's about reeling someone in from what?
L'adolescència, joventut...
Adolescence, youth...
Adolescència, joventut,
Adolescence, youth,
vintena, trentena, fins i tot.
twenties, thirties, even.
No, no, no. No. Laboral.
No, no, no. No. Labor.
Tenim Olalla Moreno, laboral.
We have Olalla Moreno, labor.
Mariona Ribas, laboral. Xavi?
Mariona Ribas, labor. Xavi?
Xavi Franquesa. Jo, en aquest cas...
Xavi Franquesa. I, in this case...
La del lavabo, no? Primer, soc...
The one in the bathroom, right? First, I am...
La del lavabo.
The one in the bathroom.
Això ho repescaria, ho deixaria allà.
I would salvage this, I would leave it there.
No, la del lavabo, no.
No, the one from the bathroom, no.
Podria ser. En tot cas, jo, amb lo
It could be. In any case, I, with the
professional sempre he estat molt conforme,
I have always been very satisfied professionally.
en el sentit de penso les coses arriben quan
In the sense that I think things happen when
han d'arribar. I, dit això,
they must arrive. And, having said that,
tant en lo personal com en lo professional,
both personally and professionally,
sempre penso que, curiosament,
I always think that, curiously,
lo millor està per arribar.
the best is yet to come.
Mira que bé. I ens agafa en un punt que
Look how good. And it catches us at a point that
estem molt més formats, estem molt
we are much more trained, we are much
més capacitats. Per tant, crec que
more capabilities. Therefore, I believe that
lo millor encara ha d'arribar. Per tant,
the best is yet to come. Therefore,
projectes passats que no han
past projects that have not
arribat o no vaig entrar de la manera perquè
I arrived or not, I entered in the way because.
suposo que em van construir
I suppose they built me.
en la persona que soc jo i la seguretat
in the person that I am and the security
que tinc ara en el meu laboral. Home, això per suposat.
what I have now in my work. Well, of course.
Però jo amb això estic totalment d'acord amb tu.
But I completely agree with you on that.
Però és de triar, clar. És la resposta
But it's up to you to choose, of course. That's the answer.
menys perversa que he escoltat mai.
less perverse than I have ever heard.
La meva tarotista
My tarot reader
em va dir un dia... Tarotista?
He told me one day... Tarot reader?
Home, una persona quan et diu
Man, when a person tells you
tarotista...
tarot reader...
Quants gats tens a casa?
How many cats do you have at home?
La meva tarotista
My tarot reader.
em va dir, i m'ho ha reiterat moltes vegades,
he told me, and he has reiterated it to me many times,
que el meu millor moment
that my best moment
arribarà superats als 50.
will exceed 50.
Però això fa anys que m'ho diu, eh?
But he's been telling me this for years, you know?
I ara ja s'acosten als 50
And now they are already approaching 50.
a veure si és veritat o m'enganyis.
let's see if it's true or if you're deceiving me.
Ara vindrà l'hòstia forta.
Now the big blow is coming.
Ara vindrà el pitjor, ara.
Now the worst will come, now.
Has estat fent temps
You have been wasting time.
els últims 25 per arribar aquí.
the last 25 to get here.
Allargar-la, allargar-la perquè tornessis a les sessions.
Lengthen it, lengthen it so that you would return to the sessions.
Les dues últimes plantes perquè aviat
The last two floors because soon.
tancaran aquest local.
They will close this establishment.
Ens quedarem aquí tancats.
We will stay locked up here.
Aquí tancaran el local.
They will close the venue here.
La gent això s'ho escolta,
People listen to this.
la gent potser potser s'ho està escoltant
People might be listening to it.
que són les 12 del migdia.
it is 12 noon.
Però clar, això s'està gravant
But of course, this is being recorded.
que són tres quarts de nou del vespre
It is a quarter to nine in the evening.
i a les 9 tanquen el local, per tant
and at 9 they close the premises, therefore
haurem d'anar ràpid i haurem de baixar
we will have to go quickly and we will have to go down
a les plantes on ens ho juguem tot.
to the plants where we bet everything.
Dues plantes queden.
Two plants remain.
Haureu de donar respostes molt precises i concises
You will need to give very precise and concise answers.
perquè xarreu com cotorres igual que jo.
because you chatter like parrots just like me.
Igual que jo, igual que jo.
Just like me, just like me.
Anem a la planta menys cinc.
Let's go to the basement level.
Planta menys cinc.
Floor minus five.
Perversió conjugal.
Marital perversion.
A la planta de la perversió conjugal
On the floor of conjugal perversion
aquí ja fa setmanes que tenim goteres
We've had leaks here for weeks.
de perversió.
of perversion.
Aquesta planta jo me l'assalto.
I'm going to raid this plant.
És la perversió que regalima.
It is the perversion that oozes.
Mira com regalima la perversió.
Look how the perversion drips.
Tenim unes humilitats aquí.
We have some humilities here.
La Mireia Giró, la Lorena Vázquez,
Mireia Giró, Lorena Vázquez,
tots els que han guanyat.
all those who have won.
En una relació de parella tots hem viscut
In a romantic relationship, we have all experienced.
la nit dels temes morts-vivents.
the night of the zombie themes.
Perquè en una relació de parella hi ha molts temes
Because in a couple's relationship there are many issues.
zombis, molts. Hem protagonitzat el vídeo
Zombies, many. We starred in the video.
aquell del Michael Jackson, del thriller.
that one of Michael Jackson, from Thriller.
Allò és una gran metàfora del que és la vida.
That is a great metaphor for what life is.
Temes que han sacsejat la relació,
Issues that have shaken the relationship,
petites sotregades conjugals
small marital jolts
que s'enterren però que quan menys
let them be buried but whenever possible
t'ho esperes i quasi sempre de nit
you wait for it and almost always at night
ressusciten.
they resurrect.
Us ha passat això?
Has this happened to you?
No, no us ha passat mai?
No, has it ever happened to you?
Però és que respondreu aquí.
But you will respond here.
Jo ja he dit que em saltava aquesta planta.
I already said that I was skipping this plant.
A mi em va passar, per exemple,
It happened to me, for example,
a mi em van enxampar, la meva parella
They caught me, my partner.
de tota la vida, una vegada em va enxampar
All my life, once it caught me.
mirant unes pàgines que eren de...
looking at some pages that were from...
Però és que això ho ha fet tothom,
But everyone has done this,
mirant unes pàgines.
looking at some pages.
Vaig tenir una època que mirava
I had a period when I watched.
fotografies de pèls roges.
photographs of red hairs.
Per favor.
Please.
Una probabilitat feblesa per les pèls roges.
A weak probability for red hair.
Em van atrapar, em van atrapar,
They caught me, they caught me,
em van atrapar,
they caught me,
i després aquest tema,
and then this topic,
després de comentar-lo,
after discussing it,
era un tema que havia quedat enterrat
It was a topic that had been buried.
però de tant en tant vivia amb la nit
but from time to time I lived with the night
dels temes morts-vivents.
of the themes of the living dead.
El tema ressuscitava i un altre cop
The theme was resurrected once again.
és que tu miraves aquelles pàgines,
it's that you were looking at those pages,
els temes zombi, els temes zombi.
zombie themes, zombie themes.
Oratralment dits retrets.
Orally said retracted.
Parlem d'aquests temes ara.
Let's talk about these topics now.
Cinquena pregunta d'una repesca roent,
Fifth question of a burning repêchage,
encara no alviro qui pot ser el guanyador.
I still don't foresee who the winner might be.
Parlem d'aquests temes que mai no mora,
Let's talk about these topics that never die,
però que sempre ressusciten.
but they always resurrect.
Quin assumpte que ja semblava mort i enterrat
What a subject that already seemed dead and buried.
s'ha repescat sovint
has often been recalled
en discussions
in discussions
conjugals acalorades?
heated arguments?
Els temes zombi fan que no amb el cap
Zombie themes don't make sense to me.
no em podeu defraudar.
You cannot let me down.
No, no, a més és que
No, no, furthermore it is that
jo sóc dori, vull dir...
I am Dori, I mean...
És que el Xavi també oblida les coses.
It's just that Xavi also forgets things.
Sóc com la dori, jo si vols
I am like Dori, I am if you want.
et puc explicar coses de tipus
I can explain things of a certain type.
conjugal que em poden molestar,
spousal that can bother me,
però aquesta cosa de sobte
but this thing suddenly
treure la merda sota la catifa...
hiding the mess under the carpet...
No.
No.
No? No.
No? No.
Llavors per primera vegada
Then for the first time
i avui a la repesca
And today in the playoff.
hi haurà una pregunta en blanc?
Will there be a blank question?
No volíeu anar ràpid com diu la Mariona?
Didn't you want to go quickly as Mariona says?
No, ben blanc, però jo haig de dir
No, very white, but I have to say.
una cosa, jo tinc
one thing, I have
la sort o la desgràcia que jo
the luck or the misfortune that I
em llevo amb una energia
I wake up with energy.
bastant poderosa, és a dir
quite powerful, that is to say
jo als 30 segons d'haver
I at 30 seconds after having
obert els ulls
open your eyes
jo estic a tope.
I am at my peak.
Potser a partir de les 11 de la nit
Maybe after 11 at night.
em passa una miqueta com ell
It happens to me a bit like it does to him.
jo començo a mutxar, començo a mutxar...
I start to mutter, I start to mutter...
Però jo pel dematí a tope.
But in the morning I'm all out.
I ha coincidit que
It has happened that
de les poques parelles que he tingut
of the few couples I have had
la majoria
the majority
han tingut aquesta seqüència
they have had this sequence
que
that
des que desperten
since they wake up
fins que comencen a ser
until they start to be
una persona no violenta
a non-violent person
passa hora,
time passes,
hora 25.
Hour 25.
Això al matí, a primera hora
This in the morning, first thing.
és quan jo haig d'organitzar
it is when I have to organize
tot el que vull fer durant el dia.
everything I want to do during the day.
Per tant aquí sempre he trobat molt de conflicte
Therefore, I have always found a lot of conflict here.
amb aquesta energia meva matinal
with this morning energy of mine
i la
and the
contraenergia que té
counter-energy that it has
la resta de persones amb les que m'ha tocat
the rest of the people I have to deal with
conviure en algun moment donat a la meva vida.
to live together at some point in my life.
I això és un retret constant
And this is a constant reproach.
no és un retret de...
it's not a reproach of...
No, no, és a diari, perquè tu vols
No, no, it's daily, because you want it.
vamos, vamos, que nos vamos
let's go, let's go, we're leaving
i l'altra persona...
and the other person...
No, jo fins que no em prenc un cafè
No, I won't until I have a coffee.
no soc persona, gent que potser no és persona
I am not a person, people who might not be a person.
o no pren mai cafè.
or never drinks coffee.
Clar, exacte, no?
Sure, exactly, right?
I jo tinc un conflicte real, he tingut un conflicte real
And I have a real conflict, I have had a real conflict.
repetit pràcticament a diari
repeated almost daily
amb aquesta gent.
with these people.
I vosaltres? No teniu històries d'aquestes?
And you? Don't you have stories like these?
Amb la quantitat de parelles que heu tingut
With the number of partners you have had.
i els problemes i dilemes que ens heu explicat
and the problems and dilemmas that you have explained to us
ara resulta que no teniu temes zombis?
Now it turns out that you don't have zombie topics?
No, coses domèstiques absurdes.
No, absurd household things.
Tu no has viscut, Mariona, la nit
You have not lived, Mariona, the night.
dels temes morts-vivents?
of the living-dead themes?
Ja l'endemà és maleta i adéu.
The next day it's suitcase and goodbye.
Clar, és a dir,
Of course, that is to say,
és que tenir un tema aquí guardat
it's that having a topic stored here
que surti de tant en tant
that it comes out from time to time
de manera recurrent
recurrently
jo ho sento, jo no visc així.
I'm sorry, I don't live like that.
És una cosa que passa molt sovint, però amb nosaltres no.
It's something that happens very often, but not with us.
No, és que jo no em vull
No, it's just that I don't want myself.
relacionar amb ningú on hi hagi això.
relate to no one where this exists.
Llavors jo, tot i que costa,
Then I, although it is difficult,
prefereixo, o sigui, el meu pare
I prefer, I mean, my father.
diu una cosa brutal que la coneix tothom
It says something brutal that everyone knows.
que és val més vermell un cop
What is worth more red once?
que groc tota la vida. És a dir, clar,
that yellow all my life. That is to say, clear,
i les converses incòmodes generen
and the uncomfortable conversations generate
relacions sanes. Llavors jo...
healthy relationships. So I...
Això és veritat. Abans, és que això em cremaria per dins.
This is true. Before, it would burn me inside.
No una nit. Estaria tot el rato
Not one night. I would be there all the time.
No, no, jo això ja ho hagués
No, no, I would have already done this.
ventilat i ho hagués parlat al cap de poc
ventilated and I would have talked about it shortly after
perquè no convisc bé amb aquesta incomoditat.
because I do not cope well with this discomfort.
I tu? Saps? No, perquè
And you? Do you know? No, because
sóc d'ori, de veritat.
I am really from Ori.
L'obra té amnèsia, la...
The work has amnesia, the...
Ella ho sap, la sopa està en d'ori.
She knows it, the soup is in gold.
La famosa anècdota del cinema verdi?
The famous anecdote of the Verdi cinema?
Sí. Però clar, aquella història es va acabar
Yes. But of course, that story ended.
amb aquell tio, aquell dia, no? Ja?
With that guy, that day, right? Already?
No, la veritat és que no.
No, the truth is that no.
Segona part.
Second part.
No recordo que sortís i fos
I don't remember it coming out and being.
recorrent i tal i qual. I de la mateixa
recurring and such. And of the same
manera que no recordo que em retraïssis
So that I don't remember you reproaching me.
lo de... és un subnormal, saps?
what about... he's an idiot, you know?
O sigui, és que no. No, jo
So, it's no. No, me.
l'única cosa que puc dir són, doncs, manies
The only thing I can say is, therefore, quirks.
domèstiques, no?, com dius tu, doncs
domestic ones, right? as you say, then
absolutament absurdes. Sí, però ara m'he quedat parat.
absolutely absurd. Yes, but now I am left stunned.
Per què? És a dir, tu, amb el tio aquell
Why? I mean, you, with that guy.
del cinema verdi, que vas entrar allà... Sí.
from the Verdi cinema, you went in there... Yes.
I com ha dit abans la senyora Papadakis,
And as Mrs. Papadakis said earlier,
la paraula m'ha fet molta gràcia, el
the word made me laugh a lot, the
rapapolvo... Sí. Vas continuar
spanking... Yes. You went on.
amb aquell noi? Bueno, intermitència,
with that boy? Well, intermittency,
refuerzo de este
reinforcement of this
estable, o com es deia allò...
stable, or what was it called...
Com fan el programa de l'Erusca.
How they do the Erusca program.
I mai li vas dir res d'aquella història
And you never told him anything about that story.
que havia tingut amb aquella noia?
what I had with that girl?
És un tema que m'ha quedat oblidat per sempre.
It's a topic that I've forgotten forever.
És que saps què passa? Que és la primera parella que
It's just that you know what happens? It's the first couple that...
vaig tenir. No, no, no, lo interessant va ser
I had. No, no, no, the interesting thing was
després. O sigui, lo interessant per mi va ser
afterwards. I mean, what was interesting for me was
quan vaig descobrir que la parella del meu
when I discovered that my partner's
tiet era aquesta noia.
This girl was your aunt.
Allà és on jo vaig... Què?
That's where I'm going... What?
...revifar. Com, com?
...revive. How, how?
Això us ho vaig explicar. Alto, alto.
I explained this to you. Stop, stop.
Vols dir... Això us ho vaig explicar.
You mean... I explained that to you.
Molts anys després, aquesta
Many years later, this
noia és la dona
girl is the woman
d'un tiet meu. I te l'has de trobar
of an uncle of mine. And you have to find it.
en alguna... I me la vaig trobar
in some... and I ran into her
d'un dia va ser Fernando,
one day Fernando was,
que nunca tenía pareja y había presentado a nadie,
who never had a partner and had introduced anyone,
nos va presentar a su novia.
he introduced us to his girlfriend.
I el nos i de sobte entra per...
And the nos and suddenly enters through...
I tu ja el teu maromo d'aquell moment
And you already have your boyfriend from that moment.
en què el vas enganxar al cinema. A quoi?
What did you catch him for at the cinema? For what?
És a dir, quan nos presenta,
That is to say, when it presents us,
eres tu i aquest noi...
it's you and that boy...
No, no, no, no,
No, no, no, no.
que va ser molts anys després.
that was many years later.
Fernando nos va presentar
Fernando introduced us.
i de sobte entra la noia i dic
And suddenly the girl comes in and I say
mira-la...
look at her...
I li vas explicar al teu tiet això?
Did you explain this to your uncle?
Al meu tiet no, jo la vaig agafar
Not my uncle, I already took her.
a ella i li vaig preguntar, vine aquí un moment.
I asked her, come here for a moment.
Déu-n'hi-do, quina por. No, no, no,
Wow, what a scare. No, no, no.
perquè ell, això us ho vaig explicar,
because I explained this to you,
ell em va vacilar a sobre
he teased me about it
i em va dir que després havien anat
and he told me that later they had gone
a prendre a algú. I jo li vaig dir,
to take someone. And I told him,
vam anar a prendre a algú? I ell em va dir no.
Did we go to take someone? And he told me no.
Jo li vaig dir que resolgués els seus problemes
I told him to solve his problems.
amb la seva nòvia i vaig marxar a casa.
with his girlfriend and I went home.
Amb la qual cosa, a sobre,
With which, on top,
a sobre, em va mentir.
About it, he/she lied to me.
I és la dona, actualment
And it is the woman, currently.
és la parella del meu tiet.
She is my uncle's partner.
Seria com si fos nen.
It would be like being a child.
I encara és actualment la parella del seu tiet,
And she is still currently her uncle's partner,
del tiet Fernando, de l'oncle Fernando.
from uncle Fernando.
Però he de dir que no, no, no.
But I have to say no, no, no.
Anem, anem, la Conxi m'està dient
Come on, come on, Conxi is telling me.
que si ens quedem...
that if we stay...
Sí, queden pocs minuts perquè tanquin el local.
Yes, there are only a few minutes left before they close the place.
Ens quedarem aquí a dormir? No.
Are we going to stay here to sleep? No.
No ho sé, no ho sé, perquè ara
I don't know, I don't know, because now
hem d'anar a la planta Menchís i després per tornar
we have to go to the Menchís floor and then to return
a agafar dalt són uns quants minuts, però anem
It takes a few minutes to get up, but let's go.
a la planta Menchís.
to the Menchís plant.
Planta Menchís.
Menchís plant.
Perversió genital.
Genital perversion.
Malaïts,
Cursed,
terratrèmols inguinals,
inguinal earthquakes,
malaïts sobreescalfament de l'entrecuix.
cursed thigh overheating.
Sí, els més observadors haureu detectat
Yes, the most observant among you will have noticed.
que he començat aquesta planta amb el mateix guió
that I have started this plant with the same script
que el darrer capítol.
that the last chapter.
Soc un tio...
I'm a guy...
Vosaltres sou llestos els oients que ho han detectat
You are clever, the listeners who have detected it.
i jo soc molt gandul, perquè aprofito
And I am very lazy, because I take advantage.
si alguna vegada he dit alguna cosa que m'agrada, aprofito
If I have ever said something that I like, I take advantage.
que ho digui. Però sí, tornem-hi perquè va lligat.
Let him say it. But yes, let's go again because it's connected.
Malaïts, terratrèmols inguinals,
Cursed, groin earthquakes,
malaïts sobreescalfament de l'entrecuix,
cursed overheat of the thigh area,
que fas que ens haguem de menjar sovint tantes paraules,
what are you doing that we often have to eat so many words,
principis, decisions i promeses.
principles, decisions, and promises.
Tornem a posar
Let's put again.
en entredit la nostra patètica força
in doubt our pathetic strength
de voluntat i ho fem amb...
by will and we do it with...
la ràfaga binària!
the binary burst!
Sabeu què és la ràfaga binària? No!
Do you know what a binary burst is? No!
Sí, clar! Tu sí que ho saps!
Yes, of course! You really know it!
No! La ràfaga binària
No! The binary burst
és respondre sí o no
It's to respond yes or no.
i després ja desenvoluparem. Però d'entrada
and then we will develop it. But for now
us llençaré una pregunta i heu de dir sí o no.
I will throw you a question and you have to say yes or no.
D'acord. Atenció, perquè la pregunta
Okay. Attention, because the question
de la ràfaga binària d'avui és la següent.
The binary burst of today is the following.
Has repescat
You have been rescued.
algun contacte de la teva Kiki Agenda?
Any contact from your Kiki Agenda?
A qui ja havies decidit
To whom you had already decided.
eliminar i enviar el contenidor del rebuig?
delete and send the waste container?
En plena rebel·lió
In full rebellion
de les feres? En ple terrabastall inguinal?
of the beasts? In the midst of inguinal turmoil?
En plena voràgine genital?
In the midst of genital whirlwind?
Heu fet això tan
You have done this so.
miserable, Xavi Franquesa?
miserable, Xavi Franquesa?
Evidentment, sí.
Obviously, yes.
En repetides ocasions.
On repeated occasions.
Reincident. Espera, espera.
Reincident. Wait, wait.
Reincident. Reincident, eh? Evidentment, sí.
Reoffender. Reoffender, huh? Obviously, yes.
En múltiples ocasions, reincident.
On multiple occasions, recidivist.
Mariona Ribas. Sí.
Mariona Ribas. Yes.
Però no tinc Kiki Agenda, eh? Que consti.
But I don't have Kiki Agenda, okay? Just so you know.
No tinc banquillo, però...
I don't have a bench, but...
vaig repescar. Olalla Moreno.
I fished again. Olalla Moreno.
No. No, no.
No. No, no.
No? No, no. Després se'n va anar
No? No, no. Then he/she left.
amb el seu tiet i...
with her uncle and...
Ha continuat. Ona, no.
It has continued. Wave, no.
Amb aquest, això. Però parlem
With this, that. But let's talk.
de Kiki Agenda.
from Kiki Agenda.
Jo entenc roietes, aventuretes,
I understand little red ones, adventurers,
ta, ta, ta, ta. No parelles amb les quals
ta, ta, ta, ta. No pairs with which
la relació... Ah!
the relationship... Ah!
Afers. Afers i tal.
Affairs. Affairs and such.
No. Igual. No. No canvia la meva.
No. Same. No. It doesn't change mine.
Tu dius que això no ho has fet? Jo ho he fet durant molt de temps.
You say you haven't done this? I've been doing it for a long time.
He sigut bastant... De fet, em va passar
I have been quite... In fact, it happened to me.
una cosa... Resposta breu, eh? Perquè...
One thing... Brief answer, okay? Because...
Sí, sí, molt ràpida.
Yes, yes, very fast.
Vaig crear com una mena de xarxa
I created like a kind of network.
d'un grup d'amigues amb les que
of a group of friends with whom
havia sigut reincident en vàries
had been a repeat offender in several
d'elles, cosa que... Això és molt
of them, something that... This is very
pervers al mateix temps, que és molt agradable
perverse at the same time, which is very pleasant
per un costat, però molt desagradable per un altre.
on one hand, but very unpleasant on the other.
Però haig de dir, també, com a
But I must also say, as a
resolució, que ja ha arribat a
resolution, which has already reached
cert moment de la meva vida, no fa
certain moment of my life, not long ago
tant, però ja en una edat sòlida,
so much, but already at a stable age,
diguéssim, a partir dels 40, he decidit
let's say, starting at 40, I have decided
que ara ja...
that now already...
Aquest error no
This error not
el cometré mai més, i de fet porto els últims
I will never wear it again, and in fact, I am wearing the last ones.
9 anys de la meva vida sense caure
9 years of my life without falling.
en aquest tipus de... Això és fantàstic.
In this type of... This is fantastic.
És fantàstic. És fantàstic saber
It's fantastic. It's fantastic to know.
desafiar la rebel·lió de les feres. Perquè
challenge the rebellion of the beasts. Because
quan ets jove costa molt. Costa molt, oi,
When you're young it costs a lot. It costs a lot, right?
Mariona? La rebel·lió de les feres.
Mariona? The rebellion of the beasts.
La voràgine...
The vortex...
La voràgine de l'entrecuix. La voràgine
The vortex of the groin. The vortex.
de la... Sí? Les hormones.
of the... Yes? The hormones.
A tu t'ha passat... No, a tu també has fet això, no?
It has happened to you... No, you've done this too, right?
Sí, sí, sí. Dir mai més i tornar-hi.
Yes, yes, yes. Say never again and go back to it.
Exacte. Amb qui?
Exactly. With whom?
Explica'ns-ho. Amb un cuiner.
Tell us about it. With a chef.
Amb un cuiner. Què ha passat?
With a cook. What happened?
Deies que no i un altre cop. No, no, no.
You said no and again. No, no, no.
Un cuiner que vaig conèixer
A chef I met.
i ve molt boà, ens vam entendre súper
It's very good, we understood each other super well.
bé. Llavors, bueno, no sé,
well. Then, well, I don't know,
ell estava en un moment, jo què sé, en aquell moment que tampoc
he was in a moment, I don’t know, in that moment that neither
es parlen les coses tan obertament. Parlem de fa més de
They talk about things so openly. We have been talking for more than
15 anys, o uns 15 anys.
15 years, or about 15 years.
I llavors
And then
ens vam conèixer i tal, i tot súper bé,
we met and everything, and everything was super good,
com molt guai, vam passar un estiu de punta mare,
Awesome, we had a great summer.
súper guai. Llavors li vaig dir, bueno, mira, escolta,
super cool. Then I said to him, well, look, listen,
si a tu et ve de gust continuar amb això,
if you feel like continuing with this,
busca'm la manera, si no, no, però escolta,
find me a way, if not, no, but listen,
sigues honest, no?
be honest, right?
Llavors em va dir que sí.
Then she told me yes.
Després s'ho va repensar. Ai...
Then he reconsidered it. Oh...
Em va deixar... Repensar és un bon verb, també.
He left me... Rethink is a good verb, too.
Repensar. Em va
Rethink. It suits me.
deixar... Ho vaig viure fatal,
leave... I experienced it terribly,
bàsicament perquè, coi, sí, havia anat
basically because, damn it, yes, I had gone
amb la veritat per davant. I de tant en tant repescava.
with the truth ahead. And from time to time, he would fish again.
Cap de 3 anys el vaig repensar.
After 3 years, I rethought it.
El vaig repensar. Amb una excusa cutríssima.
I reconsidered him. With a really lame excuse.
El vaig repensar
I rethought it.
i vam estar emboligats un temps
and we were involved for a while
i jo, sorpresa,
and me, surprise,
em va tornar a deixar aquest cop
he left me again this time
per telèfon. No!
By phone. No!
Sí, no, molt cutre. Però per WhatsApp
Yes, no, very shabby. But for WhatsApp.
o per trucada? No, no, per trucada.
or by call? No, no, by call.
Home, això és molt més digne. Sí, a veure...
Well, this is much more dignified. Yes, let's see...
No justifiqui... És que em sembla molt cutre
Don't justify... It's just that it seems very cheap to me.
la gent que tira la WhatsApp. Això vol dir que tu ho has fet.
The people who throw WhatsApp. This means that you did it.
Hi ha gent que l'hem deixat per un emoticono.
There are people we have left for an emoticon.
Amb un emoticono, eh?
With an emoticon, huh?
Polaia, tu has dit que no? No, no, o sigui,
Polaia, did you say no? No, no, I mean,
el que sento em sap greu. No, no, no.
I'm sorry to hear that. No, no, no.
Molt bé, molt bé. Doncs bé,
Very good, very good. Well,
hem arribat al final d'aquest trajecte,
we have reached the end of this journey,
hem arribat al final de la repesca,
we have reached the end of the repechage,
però ara arriba el moment de col·lectar
but now the time has come to collect
les perles perverses amb el Josep Moragues.
the perverse pearls with Josep Moragues.
Les perles perverses...
The perverse pearls...
Bastanta cosa avui. Xavi Franquesa,
Quite a lot today. Xavi Franquesa,
comencem amb les teves perles. Has dit
let's start with your pearls. You said
He vist que segueixo en el mateix punt
I see that I remain at the same point.
que el dia que vaig venir.
the day I came.
Ho hem detectat.
We have detected it.
Has dit
You have said
A l'infern la gent va amb manoletines.
In hell, people wear slippers.
Manoletines, perdó.
Little shoes, sorry.
També has dit
You have also said
També ens n'hem adonat.
We have also noticed it.
Soc molt fan del bidet.
I am a big fan of the bidet.
També ens n'hem adonat. I també has dit
We have also realized it. And you have also said.
Si hi ha una cosa pitjor que
If there is one thing worse than
morir en el teu propi vòmit, és morir
to die in your own vomit is to die
pel vòmit d'algú. Frase que...
for someone’s vomit. A phrase that…
Frase per emmarcar. M'ha fet pensar.
Framed sentence. It made me think.
Oleia Moreno
Oleia Moreno
Quan no tinc feina entro al IMDB
When I don't have work, I go to IMDB.
i es converteix en una roda imparable.
and it becomes an unstoppable wheel.
També has dit
You have also said.
M'ha agradat una frase fora de context.
I liked a phrase out of context.
Mentrestant anava veient Frozen Margaritas.
Meanwhile, I was seeing Frozen Margaritas.
I va acabar tràgic.
It ended tragically.
Tràgic, crític...
Tragic, critical...
Ets un gilipollas i un subnormal.
You are a jerk and an idiot.
Frase que vas exibar
Phrase that you displayed
a una de les teves exparelles.
to one of your ex-partners.
A les 4 de la matinada...
At 4 in the morning...
Porratxa, tombada...
Porratxa, overturned...
Trencant motos...
Breaking motorcycles...
Insultant homes...
Insulting men...
Vaig llevar-me sobre el meu propi vòmit.
I woke up on my own vomit.
També has dit...
You also said...
Però va trigar 4 hores a aixecar-se.
But it took him 4 hours to get up.
Perdona, aquesta és segona part.
Sorry, this is the second part.
Sempre que algú explica una història com aquesta...
Whenever someone tells a story like this...
Podria ser ella
It could be her.
o Amy Winehouse tranquil·lament.
or Amy Winehouse calmly.
En una tarda normal.
On a normal afternoon.
Es va fer un skin care amb el seu propi vòmit.
She did a skincare routine with her own vomit.
També he dit...
I have also said...
Jo? Repascar l'amor de què?
Me? Review the love of what?
Pallasso.
Clown.
I finalment ha dit...
And finally, he/she has said...
Soc Dori.
I am Dori.
Mariona Ribas
Mariona Ribas
He preferit la sordidesa a la freqüència.
I preferred the sordidness to the frequency.
Parlen de punts negres.
They talk about black spots.
Estàvem parlant de punts negres
We were talking about black spots.
i imperfeccions de la pell.
and skin imperfections.
És el porno epidèmic.
It's epidemic porn.
La repústia és molt bo això.
The repugnance is very good this.
El porno epidèmic.
The epidemic pornography.
M'ha agradat molt.
I liked it a lot.
No té gaire sentit però és el que ha dit.
It doesn't make much sense but that's what he said.
Després de l'entorn cuital vaig analitzar la zona
After the cooked environment, I analyzed the area.
perquè estigui parlant d'ajuda humanitària.
so that I am talking about humanitarian aid.
Després ha dit...
Then he/she said...
Sempre s'ha de dur una muda
One should always carry a change of clothes.
per quan surts a fer l'apilingui.
When do you go out to do the apilingui?
L'apilingui m'encanta.
I love apilingui.
Home, un moment. No només una muda.
Wait, just a moment. Not just a change.
El putinete ser.
The little whore to be.
Que és un concepte que tothom sap què vull dir.
It is a concept that everyone knows what I mean.
On hi ha d'haver tot el necessari
Everything necessary must be there.
per passar aquella nit de la millor manera possible
to spend that night in the best way possible
amb totes les garanties per tu i el teu cos.
with all the guarantees for you and your body.
M'encanta perquè jo coneixia la puti vuelta
I love it because I knew the puti vuelta.
i ara el putinete ser.
And now the little whore is.
El puti vòmito també.
The fucking vomit too.
Unes calces netes,
Some clean underpants,
seques i de repuesto.
dry and spare.
El portes?
Do you have it?
Preservatius, tovalloletes íntimes...
Condoms, intimate wipes...
Això ha viscut molt.
This has lived a lot.
Aquí hi ha rony, eh?
Here is rony, huh?
I aquí hi ha, evidentment...
And here there is, obviously...
Hi ha una miqueta...
There is a little bit...
Hi ha més coses, eh?
There are more things, right?
I això no és la motxilla del dia a dia.
And this is not the everyday backpack.
Però això és el putinete ser.
But this is the little whore to be.
Jo sempre porto tot tipus d'estris
I always carry all kinds of tools.
d'higiene...
of hygiene...
Pel que pugui passar.
For whatever may happen.
Si ens tanquen aquí durant 6 mesos
If they close us here for 6 months
en aquest local perquè l'han tancat...
in this place because they have closed it...
Mai se sap.
You never know.
Ah, i l'última.
Ah, and the last one.
Més val vermell un cop que groc tota la vida.
Better red once than yellow all your life.
Això és el superat.
This is the surpassed.
Arriba el moment que estàvem esperant.
The moment we've been waiting for has arrived.
El moment capdalt d'aquesta repesca perversa.
The pivotal moment of this perverse repechage.
El moment de descobrir
The moment of discovery
qui serà el 18è.
who will be the 18th.
El 18è que ingressarà a l'olim dels perversos.
The 18th to be admitted to the olympus of the wicked.
Qui serà?
Who will it be?
Estic molt nerviós.
I am very nervous.
La decisió del jurat pervers ja és aquí.
The decision of the perverse jury is already here.
Ha vingut l'elita Claver
Elita Claver has arrived.
a portar al sobre.
to take to the envelope.
Home, ho tenim clar.
We have it clear, man.
Ho tinc claríssim.
I am crystal clear about it.
Ho tinc molt clar.
I have it very clear.
Què?
What?
No, no, no diguis
No, no, don't say.
que n'ha passat una de forta, ara.
something strong has happened now.
Per què?
Why?
Perquè no, atenció, és fort, això.
Because no, attention, it's strong, this.
Ho dic, no, no,
I say, no, no,
permeteu-me que em posi seriós perquè
allow me to get serious because
el jurat pervers ens comunica
the corrupt jury informs us
a través d'aquest sobre buit
through this empty envelope
on hi ha una nota escrita
there is a written note
que diu
what does it say
que no prendran ells
that they will not take
la decisió
the decision
per qui ingressa a l'olim dels perversos.
for those who enter the hell of the wicked.
Per primera vegada
For the first time
en la història de la Ronda perversa,
in the history of the wicked round,
en aquesta repesca perversa,
in this perverse playoff,
seran els oients.
they will be the listeners.
Seran els oients d'aquest podcast.
They will be the listeners of this podcast.
Maldició!
Cursed!
Que no són pocs.
They are not few.
Seran els oients d'aquest podcast.
They will be the listeners of this podcast.
Per tant, serà la comunitat perversa
Therefore, it will be the wicked community.
qui decidirà el nom
who will decide the name
del 18è català o catalana
of the 18th Catalan
qui ingressarà a l'olim dels perversos.
who will enter the hell of the wicked.
Em sembla que seria la teva tarotista.
I think she would be your tarot reader.
Entri la tarotista.
Enter the tarot reader.
Per tant,
Therefore,
a partir d'aquest mateix instant,
from this very moment,
una vegada el capítol
once the chapter
quedi penjat a la xarxa...
hang it on the network...
Això després ho anunciaràs
You will announce this later.
quan comenci la següent temporada
when will the next season start
de la Ronda perversa.
of the wicked round.
Fins la següent temporada no ho sabrem.
We won't know until the next season.
Ho anunciarem per les xarxes socials.
We will announce it on social media.
T'ho estimo esperant.
I love you waiting.
TikTok, Instagram, tal qual.
TikTok, Instagram, just like that.
Totes aquestes putes merdes
All these fucking shits
perquè són putes merdes
because they are fucking shit
a les quals hi estem molt enganxats.
to which we are very attached.
Absolutament.
Absolutely.
Doncs això seran els oients
Well, those will be the listeners.
qui triaran el 18è.
who will they choose for the 18th.
El 18è.
The 18th.
Per mi avui
For me today
hem guanyat tots tres.
we have all three won.
És una cosa impecable.
It is an impeccable thing.
Jo no sabria dir qui ha guanyat avui.
I wouldn't be able to say who won today.
Hauríem marxat aquí amb la suficiència
We would have left here with the sufficiency.
de saber que havíem guanyat.
to know that we had won.
Jo ja he vist clar que no guanyaria
I have already clearly seen that I would not win.
des del primer moment.
from the very first moment.
Els oients decidiran.
The listeners will decide.
Per tant, donem per acabada la repesca.
Therefore, we consider the playoff finished.
Gràcies.
Thank you.
Moltes gràcies a tots per venir.
Thank you all for coming.
Gràcies, Xavi Franquesa,
Thank you, Xavi Franquesa,
Mariona Ribas, Olalla Moreno.
Mariona Ribas, Olalla Moreno.
Sou encantadors, sou encantadores.
You are charming, you are charming.
Gràcies per acceptar tornar.
Thank you for agreeing to come back.
No tothom ho hauria fet i vosaltres ho heu fet
Not everyone would have done it, and you have done it.
i a la primera.
and to the first one.
De debò, gràcies de tot cor.
Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Gràcies al Josep Moragues,
Thanks to Josep Moragues,
al zelador de la Ronda Perversa
to the caretaker of the Pervasive Round
per aquesta primera temporada
for this first season
en la qual hem guanyat un premi.
in which we have won an award.
Les coses han anat prou bé
Things have gone quite well.
perquè hem guanyat un premi,
because we have won an award,
i també al Jordi i al Joan.
and also Jordi and Joan.
Els estimo moltíssim, ells ho saben.
I love them very much, they know it.
A les màquines, a la sala de màquines,
To the machines, to the machine room,
fan molt bona feina i són encantadors, també.
They do a great job and are charming as well.
Després, gràcies també a l'Albert Benet,
Later, thanks also to Albert Benet,
director de Radiofònics,
director of Radiofònics,
per haver-nos col·locat a aquest local
for placing us in this venue
entre Urquinaona i Tatuant, aquest Tantra,
between Urquinaona and Tatuant, this Tantra,
on cada setmana o cada 15 dies fem la Ronda Perversa.
Every week or every 15 days we do the Pervasive Round.
I a vosaltres, els oients,
And to you, the listeners,
que ens heu acompanyat durant aquests 18 programes,
that you have accompanied us during these 18 programs,
moltes gràcies per seguir-nos
thank you very much for following us
i després ens trobarem,
and then we will meet.
perquè això continuarà a partir de l'octubre.
because this will continue from October.
Tornarem a la Ronda Perversa.
We will return to the Perverse Round.
Renovació!
Renewal!
Per l'octubre o el setembre, que serà quan tornarem?
For October or September, when will we return?
A novembre.
In November.
O al novembre o al desembre.
Either in November or in December.
Falten molts dies, però ja sabeu,
There are many days left, but you already know,
els dies són velocistes jamaicans.
the days are Jamaican sprinters.
Per tant, ens retrobarem molt aviat aquí,
Therefore, we will meet again here very soon,
en aquest mateix antre.
in this very lair.
Fins aleshores, sigueu perversos.
Until then, be wicked.
Que vagi bé!
Take care!
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