Capítol 1. Un fill de l'amor i la ciència

Catalunya Ràdio. Catalunya Àudio. Som podcast.

Catalonia Radio. Catalonia Audio. We are podcast.

Les històries d'embarassos les veus diferent quan has tingut un fill.

You see pregnancy stories differently when you have had a child.

Però per escoltar la història de la Verònica, això és igual.

But to hear Verònica's story, that doesn't matter.

A la Verònica la vaig conèixer un 2 d'octubre.

I met Verònica on October 2nd.

Just 5 anys abans de ser mare.

Just 5 years before becoming a mother.

I en aquell moment ja vaig quedar impactada per la seva història.

And in that moment, I was already struck by her story.

Ara, 5 anys després, me l'ha tornada a explicar.

Now, 5 years later, she has explained it to me again.

Hola. Hola. Gràcies.

Hello. Hello. Thank you.

Em dic Verònica Sánchez, tinc 39 anys, visc a Barcelona.

My name is Verònica Sánchez, I am 39 years old, and I live in Barcelona.

I el meu marit Oriol i jo tenim dos fills.

My husband Oriol and I have two children.

Tenim la Candela, que està a punt de fer 9 anys,

We have Candela, who is about to turn 9 years old.

i el Rai, que té 6 anys i mig.

And Rai, who is 6 and a half years old.

El meu embaràs de la Candela va ser fantàstic.

My pregnancy with Candela was fantastic.

Va ser un embaràs de llibre.

It was a textbook pregnancy.

Jo em vaig sentir molt bé tot l'embaràs.

I felt very good throughout the pregnancy.

No vaig tenir cap mena de símptoma de res.

I didn't have any symptoms at all.

Em sentia superpoderosa i superenèrgica.

I felt super powerful and super energetic.

I això, i ara se'm dona 37, quasi 38.

And this, and now I'm turning 37, almost 38.

Tot i que ja sabíem que seria un necessària,

Although we already knew it would be necessary,

doncs vaig trencar aigües i va acabar sent un necessària igualment.

So I broke my waters and it ended up being necessary anyway.

Perquè venia d'anatges i la meva ginecòloga no va voler fer un part vaginal.

Because I came from a C-section and my gynecologist did not want to do a vaginal birth.

I fins i tot el moment de l'accessari el recordo com un moment supermaco.

And I even remember the moment of the accessory as a really beautiful moment.

Gairebé dos anys després em vaig quedar embarassada del Rai.

Almost two years later, I got pregnant with Rai.

I també tot va començar igual que l'embaràs de la Candela.

And everything started just like Candela's pregnancy.

Un embaràs superbonic.

A super beautiful pregnancy.

El meu cos fent molt bé la seva feina.

My body doing its job very well.

El meu cap també estava com molt en ordre.

My head was also very much in order.

També em sentia com plena d'energia,

I also felt full of energy,

com amb moltes ganes de treballar, de fer coses...

with a lot of desire to work, to do things...

L'embaràs és un moment d'expectativa i d'il·lusió.

Pregnancy is a time of anticipation and excitement.

Però encara que tot vagi bé, també hi ha moments d'angoixa i de tensió.

But even when everything is going well, there are also moments of anxiety and tension.

Un d'aquests moments són les ecografies,

One of these moments is the ultrasounds,

sobretot la del primer i la del segon trimestre,

especially that of the first and second quarters,

on es descarten risc de malalties genètiques i malformacions del fetus.

where the risk of genetic diseases and fetal malformations is ruled out.

Si tot va bé, els metges ja no et tornen a mirar fins poc abans de parir.

If all goes well, the doctors won't check you again until shortly before giving birth.

Però hi ha gent, com la Verònica,

But there are people, like Verònica,

que es fa alguna ecografia més per saber com va tot.

They are doing another ultrasound to see how everything is going.

Ella, després de dues ecografies fantàstiques,

She, after two fantastic ultrasounds,

se'n va fer una a la setmana 24.

One was made in week 24.

Però era una ecografia que no tocava, diguéssim.

But it was an ultrasound that wasn't due, let's say.

I aleshores això era estiu, i com que la meva ginecòloga és la meva cunyada,

And then it was summer, and since my gynecologist is my sister-in-law,

vam dir, doncs mira, abans de marxar de vacances,

we said, well look, before going on vacation,

doncs em va dir ella, vine i veiem com està tot i tal.

so she told me, come and let's see how everything is and such.

I llavors en aquella ecografia, doncs ja vam veure que hi havia alguna cosa que no anava bé.

And then in that ultrasound, we could see that there was something that wasn't right.

De fet, o sigui, fins i tot estàvem com parlant d'una altra cosa

In fact, I mean, we were even talking about something else.

i jo li vaig preguntar a la meva cunyada, però està tot bé, no?

And I asked my sister-in-law, but everything is fine, right?

I llavors ella no va contestar.

And then she didn't answer.

I la vaig mirar, i quan la vaig mirar vaig veure que li caia una llàgrima.

And I looked at her, and when I looked at her, I saw that a tear was falling from her.

I llavors, bueno, ens vam adonar que no devia estar tot bé.

And then, well, we realized that everything probably wasn't okay.

I ella només va dir, té un bulto.

She just said, "She has a lump."

Va ser la frase, té un bulto.

It was the phrase, "there's a lump."

I aquest va ser el disparador que va fer que s'activés tot un pla d'emergència,

And this was the trigger that activated a whole emergency plan,

perquè de sobte aquest embaràs ja no el va portar més la meva cunyada

because suddenly this pregnancy was no longer carried by my sister-in-law

i vam passar directament a tot l'equip del Clínic i del doctor Gratacós.

And we went straight to the entire team at the Clínic and Dr. Gratacós.

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El doctor Eduard Gratacós és el director de BCN Natal,

Doctor Eduard Gratacós is the director of BCN Natal,

un dels grans centres de recerca en medicina fatal de tot el món.

one of the largest research centers in fatal medicine in the world.

Un centre que aglutina professionals de l'Hospital Sant Joan de Déu

A center that brings together professionals from the Sant Joan de Déu Hospital.

i de l'Hospital Clínic de Barcelona.

and from the Clínic Hospital of Barcelona.

Els seus pacients són mares i fetus, com la Verònica i el Rai.

Her patients are mothers and fetuses, like Verònica and Rai.

Una de les seves especialitats són els tumors que els surten

One of their specialties is the tumors that appear.

alguns fetus a la cara o al coll abans de néixer.

some fetuses on the face or neck before birth.

Són molt infreqüents, extremadament infreqüents.

They are very infrequent, extremely infrequent.

Es van produir un cas de cada 10-15.000 embarassos.

A case occurred in every 10,000-15,000 pregnancies.

Tenen un creixement molt ràpid i el problema principal que tenen

They have very rapid growth and the main problem they have.

és que no és que siguin malignes, però per lloc on estan situats

It's not that they are malicious, but because of where they are located.

acaben obstruint les vies aèries.

they end up obstructing the airways.

I en el moment del naixement d'aquest bebè,

And at the moment of this baby's birth,

quan el bebè deixés de ser fetus i necessités respirar, s'ofegaria.

When the baby stopped being a fetus and needed to breathe, it would drown.

I aquest va ser el diagnòstic de la verona.

And this was the diagnosis of Verona.

El diagnòstic del fill de la Verònica.

The diagnosis of Verònica's son.

Un tumor al coll a la setmana 24 de gestació.

A tumor in the neck at 24 weeks of pregnancy.

El tumor al coll era benigne, però calia controlar-lo.

The tumor on the neck was benign, but it needed to be monitored.

En aquell moment, poc més s'hi podia fer.

At that moment, not much more could be done.

Hem d'esperar, hem d'esperar, hem d'esperar.

We have to wait, we have to wait, we have to wait.

Llavors jo, com que...

Then I, as...

No ho sé, tu ara has estat mare i segurament ho saps,

I don't know, you have just become a mother and you probably know.

però aquesta sensació de saber que només pots esperar,

but this feeling of knowing that you can only wait,

a mi se'm quedava una mica curta.

I found it a bit lacking.

L'objectiu era aguantar el Rai dins la panxa tot el que poguessin,

The goal was to keep Rai inside the belly for as long as they could.

perquè el nen no fos prematur i evitar-li complicacions.

to prevent the child from being premature and to avoid complications.

Però el tumor cada cop creixia més.

But the tumor kept growing more and more.

Això feia que el Rai tingués dificultats per empassar el líquid amniòtic

This made it difficult for Rai to swallow the amniotic fluid.

i la panxa de la Verònica fos cada cop més gran.

and Verònica's belly got bigger and bigger.

En aquell moment estava embarassada de sis mesos,

At that moment I was six months pregnant,

però semblava que estigués a punt de parir.

but it seemed like she was about to give birth.

I realment ens van dir que durant un mes no hi ha res a fer.

And they really told us that for a month there is nothing to do.

Només podem esperar i veure com evoluciona.

We can only wait and see how it evolves.

O sigui, bàsicament el que vam haver de gestionar més va ser la incertesa.

So basically, what we had to manage the most was the uncertainty.

És la prova més forta que ha de portar aquestes mares i aquestes parelles

It is the strongest proof that these mothers and these couples have to bear.

perquè realment la incertesa és de les coses que la nostra ment estava menys preparada.

because in reality uncertainty is one of the things that our mind was least prepared for.

I en la nostra època actual diguéssim que és la principal tortura de la majoria de la gent,

And in our current time, we could say that it is the main torture of the majority of people,

inclús quan no passa res.

even when nothing happens.

És a dir, vivim en un món falsament controlat,

That is to say, we live in a falsely controlled world,

en què tenim una sensació falsa de que controlem

in what we have a false sense of control

i realment tenim una intolerància no controlada brutal.

And we really have a brutal uncontrolled intolerance.

La nostra ment no suporta que hi hagi buits

Our mind cannot stand the existence of gaps.

i aquests buits els omplem la imaginació i llavors això és bastant dolent.

And we fill these voids with our imagination and then that is quite bad.

La Verònica pensava que si ell havia tingut alguna cosa a veure

Verònica thought that if he had had anything to do with it.

en la formació del tumor del seu fill,

in the formation of your son's tumor,

també podria tenir algun paper en la seva remissió.

it could also play a role in its remission.

Hi ha tot de teories que assumeixen que un tumor ve d'alguna dolència emocional.

There are all sorts of theories that assume a tumor comes from some emotional ailment.

Llavors jo pensava, bueno, si aquest fill està dins meu,

Then I thought, well, if this child is inside me,

potser jo he estat d'alguna manera responsable d'aquesta cosa de la culpa.

Maybe I have been somehow responsible for this thing of guilt.

I ara que tenim a vegades les mares...

And now that we sometimes have the mothers...

Però això em donava a mi un paper, saps?

But this gave me a role, you know?

Que era una cosa molt bonica de poder tenir en aquell moment,

It was a very beautiful thing to have at that moment,

perquè, hòstia, tu estàs gestant el teu fill.

because, damn, you are孕ing your child.

Llavors jo pensava, jolín, com pot ser que no pugui tenir cap rol

Then I thought, wow, how is it possible that I can't have any role?

en això que li està passant al meu fill, no?

Is this what is happening to my son, right?

Les setmanes d'embaràs anaven passant.

The weeks of pregnancy went by.

La 25, la 26, la 27, la 28...

The 25, the 26, the 27, the 28...

La Verònica va viure dos mesos.

Verònica lived for two months.

Dos mesos d'incertesa.

Two months of uncertainty.

Això ho parlàvem molt amb els metges.

We talked about this a lot with the doctors.

Ells fan servir l'estadística,

They use statistics,

però per un pacient l'estadística només són números,

but for a patient, statistics are just numbers,

perquè tu estàs davant d'aquest cas,

because you are in front of this case,

que és el cas més important de la teva vida,

what is the most important case of your life,

i per tu allò és el 100% dels casos.

And for you that is 100% of the cases.

I és l'única cosa que t'importa.

And it is the only thing that matters to you.

I la literatura serveix pels metges, però no pels pacients.

And literature serves for doctors, but not for patients.

En tot aquest temps, cada setmana, o fins i tot dos cops per setmana,

During all this time, every week, or even twice a week,

anava a l'hospital per fer-se ecografies, proves

she was going to the hospital to get ultrasounds, tests

i consultes.

and you consult.

Controlar el tumor del rai que seguia creixent dins la seva panxa.

Control the tumor of the ray that was still growing inside her belly.

L'acompanyament en aquests casos és fonamental

Support in these cases is essential.

i el transmetre totes les parts positives que puguis.

And transmit all the positive parts you can.

Sobretot, en aquests casos, també sabem per experiència

Above all, in these cases, we also know from experience.

que l'acompanyament és crític.

that the support is critical.

Per això tinc molt gravats aquests tres noms,

That's why I have these three names deeply engraved in my memory.

el de l'Olga Gómez, el de la Josep Maria Martínez

the one of Olga Gómez, the one of Josep Maria Martínez

i el de l'Eduard Gratacús,

and that of Eduard Gratacús,

perquè eren tres personalitats que, clar, jo, o sigui, mèdicament,

because they were three personalities that, of course, I, I mean, medically,

clar, o sigui, assumeixo que són brutalíssims,

of course, I mean, I assume they are incredibly intense,

però, a més, tenint una manera de relacionar-se amb nosaltres

but, in addition, having a way of relating to us

que per nosaltres era molt complementària, no?

that was very complementary for us, right?

O sigui, jo recordo fins i tot a l'hora de fer les ecografies

So, I even remember when it comes to doing the ultrasounds.

és que eren tres estils totalment diferents.

It was because they were three totally different styles.

Olga és perfecta, com ho diria.

Olga is perfect, how would I say it.

És el metge ideal perquè és molt perfeccionista, molt...

He is the ideal doctor because he is very perfectionist, very...

I jo intento comunicar-me més amb la pacient.

And I try to communicate more with the patient.

A lo millor estic fent l'eco i l'estic agafant del braç, també, no?

Maybe I'm echoing and holding her by the arm too, right?

L'estic tocant, no?, per intentar donar-li confiança o tranquil·litat.

I'm touching him, right?, to try to give him confidence or calmness.

No sé, és una forma que em pot sortir malament, no?,

I don't know, it's a way that could go wrong for me, right?

però també és la meva forma d'interactuar.

but it is also my way of interacting.

I el doctor Gratacús és diferent perquè ell és...

And Dr. Gratacús is different because he is...

Normalment és el professor.

It is usually the teacher.

Està treballant amb el coco, no?, amb el cap.

He is working with his head, isn’t he?

Llavors, dintre d'aquest cuidar-nos,

Then, within this care for ourselves,

va ser molt important per nosaltres el dia que el Gratacús ens va seure al despatx

It was very important for us the day that Gratacús sat us down in the office.

i ens va fer, o sigui, ens va dibuixar, no?,

and it made us, I mean, it drew us, right?

ens va dibuixar...

he drew us...

un roadmap, i llavors ens va explicar per primera vegada

a roadmap, and then he explained it to us for the first time

com seria el part.

how would labor be.

El part aquest és una cosa...

This delivery is something...

meravellosa, que es diu una maniobra d'èxit,

wonderful, what is called a successful maneuver,

que bàsicament consisteix en què

that basically consists of what

la mare i el nen estan adormits,

the mother and the child are asleep,

a la mare li obren, o sigui, no?,

they open to the mother, I mean, right?

estàs amb l'úter obert, i treuen el fill...

you are with the open uterus, and they take out the child...

O sigui, està com la meitat a dins i la meitat a fora.

That is, it is like half inside and half outside.

O sigui, és com... A mi em semblava superbonic perquè

So, it's like... I thought it was super beautiful because

el Rai havia estat, o sigui, nascut i no nascut

Rai had been, that is, born and not born.

molta estona.

a long time.

Que em sembla que és, no?,

What do you think it is, right?

com l'estat llindar de la vida,

as the threshold state of life,

del néixer i no néixer,

of being born and not being born,

molta estona, és una cosa molt única.

a long time, it's a very unique thing.

El doctor Gratacús és especialista

Dr. Gratacús is a specialist.

en aquest tipus d'operació.

in this type of operation.

Fa 20 anys, el seu equip

Twenty years ago, your team

va fer la primera cirurgia de tumor fatal

he performed the first surgery for a fatal tumor

de cara i coll de tot l'estat.

face and neck of the whole state.

La intervenció consisteix

The intervention consists of

en una cesària per treure el fetus

in a cesarean to remove the fetus

de l'úter de la mare, mentre encara respira,

from the mother's womb, while she still breathes,

a través del cordó umbilical,

through the umbilical cord,

els metges l'intuben.

The doctors intubate him.

Així, quan el bebè acaba de néixer,

Thus, when the baby is born,

pot respirar. Si no, la pressió

can breathe. If not, the pressure

del tumor, que li obstrueix la tràquea,

of the tumor, which obstructs his trachea,

faria impossible que ho fes

it would make it impossible for me to do it

a través dels pulmons.

through the lungs.

La cirurgia fatal és molt estressant

Fatal surgery is very stressful.

perquè estàs operant a un pacient

because you are operating on a patient

a través d'un pacient que no li passa res,

through a patient who is not experiencing anything,

a un pacient que sí que li passa.

to a patient who is indeed experiencing it.

I la teva prioritat

And your priority

és que no li passi res al pacient

it's that nothing happens to the patient

que en realitat no estàs operant.

that you are actually not operating.

Són cirurgies, a més,

They are surgeries, furthermore,

que no solen ser molt llargues,

that are usually not very long,

però sí que són molt delicades.

but they are indeed very delicate.

Per tant, pot ser una cirurgia de 10 minuts,

Therefore, it can be a 10-minute surgery,

realment, però com es torci,

really, but how it twists,

realment pot acabar en tragèdia.

it can really end in tragedy.

Llavors, això sí, això genera estrès.

Then, this does generate stress.

Tothom que fa cirurgia fatal

Everyone who performs fatal surgery.

diu que ho passa malament.

he says he is having a hard time.

Va, però ràpid, ràpid, va.

Come on, but quickly, quickly, come on.

Ràpid, que se nos llena el infeure.

Quick, it's filling up with hell.

Això és mal, això és normal.

This is bad, this is normal.

Ara ha sortit tot molt bé.

Now everything has turned out very well.

Ara ha sortit tot molt bé

Now everything has gone very well.

i el teu pànic és que

and your panic is that

o que no puguis intubar el fetus

or that you cannot intubate the fetus

i se't mori allà,

and you die there,

davant teu,

before you,

o que la mare et faci una complicació greu

or that your mother has a serious complication

que és el pitjor malson

What is the worst nightmare?

de qualsevol persona que faci cirurgia fatal.

of any person who performs fatal surgery.

I d'aquí ve l'estrès.

And this is where the stress comes from.

Jo ho comparo molt a tirar un penalti.

I compare it a lot to taking a penalty kick.

Hi ha cirurgies amb les que tu vas a parar un penalti

There are surgeries with which you are going to stop a penalty.

i hi ha cirurgies amb les que vas a tirar un penalti.

And there are surgeries where you are going to take a penalty kick.

Quina és la dificultat de tirar un penalti

What is the difficulty of taking a penalty?

que té un jugador de futbol professional

what a professional football player has

que sap fer allò de memòria

that knows how to do it by heart

i que en un entrenament ho ficaria?

And would I include it in a training session?

Hi ha 999.000

There are 999,000.

que si falla les conseqüències

that if it fails the consequences

poden ser molt grans.

they can be very big.

Són 3 o 4 especialistes

There are 3 or 4 specialists.

en medicina fatal,

in fatal medicine,

els dos o tres anestesistes,

the two or three anesthetists,

un o dos cirurgians pediàtrics,

one or two pediatric surgeons,

un otorrino, dos neonatòlegs,

an otolaryngologist, two neonatologists,

les infermeres que renten...

the nurses who wash...

És a dir, hi ha molta gent a quiròfan

That is to say, there are many people in the operating room.

i el cas de la Verónica va ser molt difícil.

And the case of Verónica was very difficult.

I és molt important

And it's very important.

que hi hagi algú que porti tota la direcció

that there is someone to take all the direction

que porti la direcció de la cirurgia.

Let the surgery be led by the direction.

Tenia un senyal?

Did he/she have a sign?

Sí, sí.

Yes, yes.

És un quiròfan espectacular.

It's a spectacular operating room.

Potser hi ha 25 persones

There might be 25 people.

que estan fent coses.

that they are doing things.

Que tots estem fent alguna cosa important, no?

That we're all doing something important, right?

I bé, és d'aquells moments en medicina

And well, it is one of those moments in medicine.

que no hi penses més

Don't think about it anymore.

perquè estàs tan concentrat.

Why are you so focused?

Després et ve la...

Then you get the...

Quan passen hores, no?

When hours go by, right?

I et ve la...

I see you...

Però, clar, quan estàs allà

But, of course, when you are there

no tens temps d'emocionar-te.

you don't have time to get emotional.

Has d'actuar davant de l'urgència

You must act in the face of urgency.

i, bueno, afortunadament

and, well, fortunately

ja tenim una experiència, no?

We already have an experience, right?

Tu operes el bebè

You operate the baby.

com si fos un fetus

as if it were a fetus

perquè depèn

because it depends

de la seva respiració

of her breath

de la seva mare,

of her mother,

perquè respira a través de la mare,

because it breathes through the mother,

però l'exterioritzes per poder operar-lo

but you externalize it in order to operate it

i ja no el tornes a ficar dintre,

and you don't put him back inside anymore,

sinó que acabes de treure'l del tot.

but rather you just took it out completely.

Llavors, el que fem és ja treure'l

Then, what we do is take it out.

i solucionar el problema en aquell moment.

and solve the problem at that moment.

Perquè el que has de fer quan hi ha un tumor

Because what you have to do when there is a tumor.

és una cosa que, tècnicament,

it's a thing that, technically,

en medicina es diu assegurar una via aèria.

In medicine, it is called securing an airway.

És a dir, assegurar que aquell pacient respira.

That is to say, to ensure that that patient is breathing.

I un cop respira, ja no hi ha pressa.

And once he/she breathes, there is no rush anymore.

Clar, fer això no és senzill,

Sure, doing this is not easy,

perquè fer això implica

because doing this implies

enganyar la naturalesa de manera important.

deceive nature significantly.

Tenim que relaxar molt l'úter

We need to relax the uterus a lot.

perquè l'úter no pot sagnar

because the uterus cannot bleed

ni percebre que s'està buidant molt

nor realize that it is emptying a lot

ni percebre canvis de temperatura,

nor perceive changes in temperature,

perquè, si no, es desprendrà la placenta

because if not, the placenta will detach

perquè interpretarà que està parint

because it will interpret that it is giving birth

i traurà la placenta

and will remove the placenta

i en aquells moments s'acaba la respiració del bebè.

And at that moment, the baby's breathing stops.

El Rai va néixer un 6 d'octubre a la maternitat,

Rai was born on October 6 at the maternity ward,

gràcies a aquesta cirurgia

thanks to this surgery

que els metges anomenen EXIT,

that the doctors call EXIT,

les sigles en anglès d'Exútero Intrapartum Treatment.

The English acronym of Exútero Intrapartum Treatment.

No ens donaven moltes possibilitats

They didn't give us many possibilities.

que el Rai pogués sobreviure al part,

that Rai could survive the birth,

perquè el perill que tenia el Rai

because of the danger that Rai had

quan naixés era

When he/she was born.

que, com que al tumor

that, since the tumor

li comprometia, a part de la deglució,

it compromised him, apart from swallowing,

li comprometia la respiració,

it compromised his breathing,

quan li tallessin el cordó umbilical

when they cut the umbilical cord

i el Rai hagués de respirar per si sol,

and Rai had to breathe on his own,

doncs, evidentment, ell no podria,

well, obviously, he couldn't,

per la pressió del tumor,

due to the pressure of the tumor,

però també perquè la tràquea no s'havia pogut desenvolupar bé

but also because the trachea had not been able to develop properly

per la pressió del tumor.

due to the pressure of the tumor.

Per tant, haurien d'intubar-lo,

Therefore, they should intubate him,

però aquesta intubació era molt difícil

but this intubation was very difficult

perquè no havíem pogut veure com estava per dins

because we hadn't been able to see what it was like inside

i...

i...

i llavors hem...

and then we have...

havíem de trobar la manera

we had to find a way

de fer passar el tub

to pass the tube

amb la pressió del tumor, no?

with the pressure of the tumor, right?

Llavors, no li donàvem massa possibilitats

Then, we didn't give him many chances.

de sobreviure.

to survive.

Llavors van sortir els metges

Then the doctors came out.

i van anar a parlar amb el meu marit

And they went to speak with my husband.

i a l'Uri li van dir

And they told Uri.

el Rai està viu,

Rai is alive,

però la cosa va pintar molt malament.

but the situation looked very bad.

I...

I...

però llavors l'Uri, pobre,

but then Uri, poor thing,

bueno, el va anar a veure,

well, he went to see him,

li va fer fotos perquè...

he took photos of her because...

clar, perquè no sabíem si...

of course, because we didn't know if...

si estaria viu o estaria mort quan jo despertés

would he be alive or would he be dead when I woke up

i llavors...

and then...

Perdó.

Sorry.

Ai, és que feia molt que no em parlava d'això.

Oh, it's just that it's been a long time since we talked about this.

I ahir és que de sobte, hòstia,

And yesterday it was that suddenly, damn,

realment, o sigui, se m'ha oblidat de vegades

really, I mean, I have forgotten sometimes

com a prop que va estar tot, saps?

How close it all was, you know?

O sigui, va estar tot molt a prop

That is, it was all very close.

moltes vegades, saps?

many times, you know?

O sigui, és com que...

So, it's like...

hem sortejat

we have raffled

molts cops la mort.

many times death.

El Rai necessitava cures molt concretes.

Rai needed very specific care.

Per això, només néixer,

Therefore, as soon as you are born,

de seguida que el vam portar,

as soon as we brought him/her,

de seguida que el vam poder estabilitzar,

as soon as we were able to stabilize him,

se'l van endur en ambulància a l'Hospital Sant Joan de Déu.

They took him away in an ambulance to the Sant Joan de Déu Hospital.

La Verònica encara no l'havia pogut conèixer.

Verònica still hadn't been able to meet him.

Ella estava ingressada a la maternitat.

She was admitted to the maternity ward.

Havia perdut molta sang durant el part.

I had lost a lot of blood during the delivery.

Però va demanar, insistentment,

But he insisted on asking,

que la traslladessin amb el seu fill

that they moved her with her son

a l'Hospital Pediàtric.

at the Pediatric Hospital.

Llavors, a mi em van portar allà amb cadira de rodes i tal,

Then, they brought me there in a wheelchair and so on,

i sí, llavors vaig poder conèixer el Rai.

And yes, then I was able to meet Rai.

I sí que recordo només donar-li les gràcies

And yes, I only remember to thank him/her.

molt, molt, molt, molt, molt, molt, molt,

very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

i dir-li, hòstia, moltíssimes gràcies

And tell him, damn, thank you very much.

per haver arribat fins aquí,

for having made it this far,

perquè realment no donàvem un duro

because we really didn't give a dime

i estava tan contenta de poder-lo veure

I was so happy to be able to see him.

i de poder-lo conèixer.

and being able to meet him.

I sí que, jolín, com que m'ho havien dit tant,

And yes, gosh, since they had told me so much,

sí que li vaig dir,

yes, I did tell him/her,

si t'has de morir, et pots morir tranquil.

If you have to die, you can die peacefully.

O sigui, nosaltres estarem bé,

That is, we will be fine,

estem preparats,

we are ready,

i si t'has de morir...

and if you have to die...

O sigui, el primer, és que és molt fort, eh?

So, the first thing is that it's very strong, right?

Començar la maternitat acomiadant-te del teu fill

Starting motherhood by saying goodbye to your child.

és superpoderós, és superpoderós.

he is super powerful, he is super powerful.

O sigui, és un exercici molt alliberador, saps?

In other words, it's a very liberating exercise, you know?

Molt alliberador, acomiadar-te del teu fill

Very liberating, to say goodbye to your son.

la primera vegada que el veus,

the first time you see him,

és un exercici molt alliberador,

it's a very liberating exercise,

perquè t'adones que...

because you realize that...

Jo vaig tenir molt, molt la sensació

I had a very, very strong feeling.

que els fills vénen amb coses seves,

that children come with their own things,

que hi ha moments que...

that there are moments when...

I això és que, com a mare,

And that is that, as a mother,

és que segur que et passa a tu també.

It's just that it surely happens to you too.

O sigui, hi ha moments que t'adones que això és seu, saps?

So, there are moments when you realize that this is theirs, you know?

I que hi ha llocs molt foscos,

And that there are very dark places,

que fan molta por,

that are very scary,

i que han d'anar-hi sols.

and they have to go there alone.

I ara, en aquell moment, la mort era...

And now, at that moment, death was...

Era com la sublimació d'aquest lloc molt fosc

It was like the sublimation of this very dark place.

i que feia molta por,

and it was very scary,

perquè jo no el podia acompanyar allà.

because I couldn't accompany him there.

I llavors, per mi va ser com molt alliberador

And then, for me it was very liberating.

dir-li si t'has de morir, et pots morir.

tell him if you have to die, you can die.

El naixement del Rai és una de les més de 2.000 intervencions

The birth of the Rai is one of more than 2,000 interventions.

de tumors fatals de cara i coll que ha fet BCN Natal.

of fatal tumors of the face and neck that BCN Natal has created.

Però l'equip del doctor Gratacós

But Dr. Gratacós's team

recorda perfectament el naixement del Rai.

he remembers perfectly the birth of Rai.

Una setmana després,

A week later,

un equip de Sant Joan de Déu va operar-lo

A team from Sant Joan de Déu operated on him.

per extirpar-li el tumor al mateix box on s'estava.

to remove the tumor in the same box where it was.

La intubació que li van fer a la maternitat era tan precària

The intubation they performed on her in the maternity ward was so precarious.

que no van voler moure'l per portar-lo a quiròfan.

that they did not want to move him to take him to the operating room.

Avui, sis anys després,

Today, six years later,

el Rai és un nen que creix fort i sap.

Rai is a boy who grows strong and knows.

Mira, mama, un dibuix.

Look, mom, a drawing.

O sigui, una cosa que s'escriu i es dibuixa.

That is, something that is written and drawn.

És una cosa...

It's a thing...

És una fantasia brutal.

It's a brutal fantasy.

O sigui, cada mostra, evidentment,

So, each sample, obviously,

que el meu fill fa deu anys no hauria sobreviscut

that my son ten years ago would not have survived

i que, per sort, doncs ara sí.

and that, luckily, now yes.

O sigui, aquell dia vam entendre

So, that day we understood.

que el Rai clarament seria un fill de la ciència, no?

that Rai would clearly be a child of science, right?

Que és una cosa molt bonica de ser.

It is a very beautiful thing to be.

O sigui, és un fill de l'amor i un fill de la ciència.

So, he is a child of love and a child of science.

És que ell era un de sol.

It was just that he was a lone one.

No estava en un volant, però feia trons i plouia molt.

I wasn't in a tornado, but it was thundering and raining a lot.

No!

No!

fest.net

fest.net

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Condició Humana és un podcast sobre salut, malaltia i vida,

Human Condition is a podcast about health, illness, and life.

amb el suport de la Fundació Catalana.

with the support of the Catalan Foundation.

Institut Cartogràfic i Geològic de Catalunya

Cartographic and Geological Institute of Catalonia