Juanjo Sáez: "Des que soc col·laborador vostre dormo amb una fèrula i tinc més ansietat" - 15/07/19
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Abans tot era pitjor, amb Juanjo S�ez
Juanjo Sáez: "Des que soc col·laborador vostre dormo amb una fèrula i tinc més ansietat" - 15/07/19
El Juanjo Saez
The Juanjo Saez
L'ha fet alguna cosa? No.
Has she/he done anything? No.
Qui n'ha fitxat el Barçà?
Who has signed for Barça?
L'han presentat avui.
They have presented it today.
Ha vuelto el este.
The east has returned.
El este.
He is.
Que bé que t'ho passes.
How well you enjoy it.
El Neyman.
The Neyman.
Neyman. No, no ha tornat Neyman encara.
Neyman. No, he hasn't come back yet.
Però han fitxat a Gris...
But they have signed Gris...
Gris... Antoine?
Gray... Antoine?
Gris Antoine.
Gray Antoine.
No, Antoine Gris...
No, Antoine Gris...
Antoine Gris.
Antoine Gris.
O l'Endelon.
Oh the Endelon.
No, mira, ara t'ho dirà el Sergi Andreu,
No, look, now Sergi Andreu will tell you.
que ara ja és amb nosaltres.
that is now with us.
Ah, mira.
Ah, look.
Ell ho sap molt fàcil.
He knows it very easily.
Ho estàvem fent molt bé, per això.
We were doing it very well, that's why.
Antoine...
Antoine...
No, mira, ja veuràs, ell ho acaba.
No, look, you'll see, he'll finish it.
Antoine què? Antoine Grisman.
Antoine what? Antoine Griezmann.
No, però no todo junto, va separado.
No, but not all together, it goes separated.
Antoine Grisman.
Antoine Grisman.
Sabem qui és Antoine Grisman o no?
Do we know who Antoine Griezmann is or not?
No, ell no.
No, him no.
Última vegada que ha vingut, l'únic que no sabia qui era, Federer.
The last time he came, the only one who didn't know who he was, Federer.
No, no, és que aquí passa molta gent que no sap...
No, no, it’s just that a lot of people come through here who don’t know...
No sabem qui és.
We don't know who he/she is.
Federer, sí, home, sí, no?
Federer, yes, man, yes, right?
Este sí, creo, tenista, no?
This one yes, I think, tennis player, right?
I va decir jugador de golf.
He said golf player.
Toma, jugant con un palo, no?
Here, playing with a stick, right?
A mi em sembla...
It seems to me...
No sé si és més...
I don't know if it's more...
Quan ho deixi, pot jugar a golf.
When you quit, you can play golf.
Federer, i tant.
Federer, of course.
No? Té un aire de golfista.
No? He has a golfer's look.
Si és més greu no saber qui és Grisman o Federer,
If it is more serious not to know who Grisman or Federer is,
jo crec que és més greu no saber qui és Federer.
I think it's more serious not to know who Federer is.
Sí, no?
Yes, right?
És probable, perquè...
It is likely because...
Sí, home, claro.
Yes, of course.
M'ha sabut més anys que sona, no?
It sounds like more years to me than it actually is, right?
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Però no m'ha sabut res, tampoc, eh?
But it hasn't meant anything to me either, you know?
No, no.
No, no.
Digue-li tu el nom d'un dibuixant, digue-li tu.
Tell him the name of a cartoonist, you tell him.
Jo camino per la calle.
I walk down the street.
Tu, Sergi, tu saps algú de...
You, Sergi, you know someone from...
Home, però sí com el se lo explico.
Sure, but how do I explain it to him?
No, com le digo, el que dibuja...
No, as I told you, the one who draws...
El dibujante de...
The illustrator of...
No, digue-li un nom.
No, give it a name.
Però de qui m'està parlant, ara?
But who are you talking about, now?
No, ara...
No, now...
Tu t'has fet el xulo que sabies que era el Guildo.
You acted tough knowing it was Guildo.
Joan Esfar, Joan Esfar.
John Esfar, John Esfar.
Moebius.
Moebius.
Saps qui és Moebius?
Do you know who Moebius is?
Sí, però ell és el...
Yes, but he is the...
Juan Josai.
John Josai.
Sí, jo.
Yes, me.
Tu saps qui és ell?
Do you know who he is?
Sí, home, i tant.
Yes, man, absolutely.
Vale, però ell et fa una prova a tu de qui saps coses de...
Okay, but he's giving you a test on what you know about...
Tinc amics que tenen dibuixos penjats a les parets de casa seva.
I have friends who have drawings hanging on the walls of their homes.
Ah, sí?
Oh, really?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Un dia vaig acompanyar per tot Barcelona un amic meu,
One day I accompanied a friend of mine all around Barcelona,
deu fer 8 o 10 anys,
it must be 8 or 10 years ago,
a la recerca d'un dibuix de Juan.
in search of a drawing by Juan.
És veritat.
It's true.
Sí, t'ho prometo.
Yes, I promise you.
I on el vau trobar al final?
And where did you find him in the end?
Aquest amic treballa aquí a la ràdio.
This friend works here at the radio.
Ah, sí?
Oh, really?
I d'on fos desaparegut?
And where could it have disappeared to?
El vam trobar...
We found him...
On era?
Where was it?
Ja ho veuràs.
You'll see.
On era?
Where were you?
És raríssim.
It's very rare.
Estic per raput, potser.
I am about to be interrupted, perhaps.
En Garmacòmics.
In Garmacòmics.
Pel Born, pel Born, diria que era.
Through the Born, through the Born, I would say it was.
Pel Born?
For the Born?
Ai, que serà una còpia.
Oh, it will be a copy.
No, no, era original, era original.
No, no, it was original, it was original.
I què hi ha d'anar al Born?
And what is there to do in the Born?
Ell era per fer un regal, era per fer un regal.
He was to make a gift, he was to make a gift.
El meu amic volia fer un regal a la seva parella
My friend wanted to make a gift for his partner.
perquè la seva parella estava enamorada de tu.
because their partner was in love with you.
Hòstia, ara sí que m'ha tocat.
Damn, now I've really been hit.
Està fent una cosa molt intel·ligent, el Sergi.
Sergi is doing something very intelligent.
Està desviant-ho total, no?
It's totally diverting it, right?
O sigui, desactivar tota la mala llet possible del Juanjo
That is, deactivate all the bad vibes possible from Juanjo.
per fer-li la pregunta.
to ask him the question.
Un relat alternatiu, creïm.
An alternative narrative, we believe.
No estic falsejant, va en seriós.
I'm not joking, it's serious.
Ha incluït tots els temes.
It has included all the topics.
Amor, egotrip, peloteo, una noia...
Love, egotrip, flattery, a girl...
I com és el dibuix? Com és? Te'n recordes?
And how is the drawing? What is it like? Do you remember it?
No me'l recordo, no me'l recordo.
I don't remember it, I don't remember it.
No, me'l caig superbién, ja.
No, I already think he's great.
No me'l recordo perquè ell...
I don't remember it because he...
No hi ha problema, ja.
No problem, already.
Ell anava a buscar una cosa,
He was going to fetch something,
la tenia molt al cap, eh?
She was very much on your mind, huh?
Ah, d'acord.
Ah, okay.
Sí, sí, anava a buscar un dibuix molt concret.
Yes, yes, I was going to look for a very specific drawing.
En serio? Però tampoc...
Seriously? But not really...
Què val un dibuix teu?
How much is one of your drawings worth?
Mira, et diria fins i tot...
Look, I would even tell you...
Un dibuix va de cero, no?
A drawing starts from zero, right?
De la voluntat a lo que quieras pagar.
From the will to what you want to pay.
Mira, doncs et diré...
Look, then I'll tell you...
Et podria arribar a dir el que es va gastar.
I could tell you what was spent.
Sí?
Yes?
O sea, dímelo, porque yo no creo que lo viera, eh?
I mean, tell me, because I don't think I saw it, huh?
No et va arribar.
You didn't receive it.
Yo creo que...
I believe that...
Ara potser tinc una bestiesa, eh?
Now I might be saying something silly, right?
A veure.
Let's see.
Però pot ser que arribés a pagar...
But it could be that I ended up paying...
150 euros?
150 euros?
Sí.
Yes.
Buah!
Wow!
Puede ser.
It could be.
Clar.
Of course.
Puede ser.
It could be.
Me parece barato.
It seems cheap to me.
Puede ser.
It could be.
Buen precio, buen precio.
Good price, good price.
Buen precio.
Good price.
Yo no...
I don't...
Eh, que no tenim qualsevol cosa aquí a l'Estat de Gràcia, eh?
Hey, we don't have just anything here in the State of Grace, do we?
Cuidado, eh, Roger?
Be careful, okay, Roger?
Jamón de bellota.
Acorn ham.
Juanjo de bellota.
Juanjo from acorn.
Hoy porque es el último día, eh?
Today because it's the last day, right?
Si no, renegocio el contrato, eh?
If not, I'll renegotiate the contract, okay?
Ai, senyor Sergi,
Oh, Mr. Sergi,
què ens explicareu avui a partir de la set?
What will you tell us today from the vine?
Va.
Okay.
Tres o quatre grans ítems.
Three or four major items.
Barça, Neymar.
Barça, Neymar.
Compta que donarem informació bona sobre Neymar.
Watch out, we will provide good information about Neymar.
Atenció.
Attention.
Que el Barça es llença a la casa de Neymar, eh?
So Barça is throwing itself at Neymar's house, huh?
Ah, sí?
Oh, really?
Informació bona.
Good information.
Yo lo sabía, pero se ha teñido...
I knew it, but it has been dyed...
¿Sabes quién es Neymar, Juanjo?
Do you know who Neymar is, Juanjo?
Sí, lo vi...
Yes, I saw it...
Sí, lo voy viendo.
Yes, I'm starting to see it.
Ya di Neymar, fa un momento.
Neymar said it just a moment ago.
¿Cómo es?
What is it like?
Neymar.
Neymar.
Neymann.
Neymann.
Sí, Neymann.
Yes, Neymann.
Neymann, Neymann, dime.
Neymann, Neymann, tell me.
Neymann se ha teñido el pelo, ¿no?
Neymann has dyed his hair, hasn't he?
Tiene ahora como una bola blanca en la cabeza.
She now has what looks like a white ball on her head.
¿Sí?
Yes?
Lleva como un rizo blanco.
It has a white curl.
Es este, ¿no?
It's this one, right?
Es como corderito para...
It's like a little lamb for...
Ahora me engancha, eh?
Now it hooks me, huh?
Un poco norit.
A little norit.
En vez de Neymann...
Instead of Neymann...
Sí, digo el joder que ha satañit.
Yes, I mean the fucker that has stood out.
¿Cuándo?
When?
¿A qué hora?
What time?
Estoy al loro.
I'm on the lookout.
¿Tú sabes el pelo?
Do you know the hair?
Estoy súper al loro.
I'm super on the ball.
¿Sabes a quién...?
Do you know who...?
Os he pillado en algo.
I've caught you in something.
Potser sí, potser sí.
Maybe yes, maybe yes.
¿Saps que s'ha teñit i no saps realment com es diu, això?
Do you know that it has been dyed and you don't really know what it's called?
No m'interessa eso, los tintes de pelo...
I'm not interested in that, hair dyes...
Ah, és aquest, aquest.
Ah, it is this one, this one.
Ah.
Ah.
Aquesta foto...
This photo...
Això, ¿no?
This, right?
És veritat, va més blanquet de cabell.
It's true, he has lighter hair.
Me chocó tanto ese look que m'acuerdo.
I was so shocked by that look that I remember it.
Creiem que tenia com espaguetis al cap.
We believe he had spaghetti in his head.
Neymar és a París, ara.
Neymar is in Paris now.
El trobo guapo, aquest noi.
I find this guy handsome.
A mi m'agrada.
I like it.
Sí, el trobeu guapo, això.
Yes, you find it handsome, that.
Jo sí.
I do.
A mi m'agrada.
I like it.
Mira, a mi cadascú li agrada a qui li agrada.
Look, everyone likes who they like.
A mi m'agrada aquest.
I like this one.
Veu guapo, eh?
Good-looking voice, huh?
No?
No?
Veu guapo, també.
Nice voice, too.
A veure, el pelo blanco este, no sé, és com d'una...
Let's see, this white hair, I don't know, it's like from a...
No hauria dit que Neymar era com un prototipus de jugador.
I wouldn't have said that Neymar was like a prototype player.
Bueno, i què passa amb Neymar?
Well, what happens with Neymar?
Explicarem coses interessants sobre Neymar.
We will explain interesting things about Neymar.
Que ho dieu, la veritat.
What you say is the truth.
També sobre Griezmann,
Also about Griezmann,
encara arrosseguem la presentació d'ahir del francès.
We are still dragging the presentation from yesterday of the French.
Sí.
Yes.
Has vist el fotomuntatge, el truc?
Have you seen the photo montage, the trick?
Hi ha un tuit del Barça que diu
There is a tweet from Barça that says
Griezmann és aquí, el mago.
Griezmann is here, the magician.
Ah, sí, sí.
Ah, yes, yes.
I han fet un melies...
And they have made a melies...
Sí, sí, està bé.
Yes, yes, it's fine.
Jo també t'ho diré.
I will tell you too.
D'acord, seguim, seguim.
Okay, let's continue, let's continue.
Sí, sí, molt bé, bé.
Yes, yes, very good, good.
Què més?
What else?
A les 7, el Barça de bàsquet presenta al Palau Laurana
At 7, the Barça basketball team presents at the Palau Laurana.
el seu últim fitxatge.
his last signing.
Qui han fitxat?
Who have they signed?
És Abrines, que ja va estar al club.
It's Abrines, who was already at the club.
Home, em fa molta il·lusió que torni.
I'm very excited that you're coming back home.
I ara torna.
And now return.
Clar que sí.
Of course.
I completa d'aquesta manera un gran dream team.
And thus I complete a great dream team.
Sí, home.
Yes, man.
I tenim allà el fitó, que ja ha anat a la presentació,
And we have the nut there, who has already gone to the presentation,
i anirem escoltant a Abrines, el president Bartomeu,
and we will be listening to Abrines, President Bartomeu,
el que vagin dient en directe durant el programa,
what they say live during the program,
i parlant de Wimbledon, també.
And speaking of Wimbledon, too.
Jo me n'alegro molt que gent com Abrines torni,
I am very glad that people like Abrines are coming back.
si al final la cosa no surt...
if in the end it doesn’t work out...
Com a casa enlloc, tu.
There’s no place like home, you.
Exacte.
Exactly.
On has d'anar?
Where do you have to go?
Que deia la meva àvia.
What my grandmother used to say.
On has d'anar, on estaràs millor que aquí, Abrines?
Where do you have to go, where will you be better than here, Abrines?
Que vagi bé, Sergi.
Take care, Sergi.
Gràcies a vosaltres.
Thank you.
Molt bé, Sergi.
Very well, Sergi.
T'has postat una nota, Sergi?
Have you put up a note, Sergi?
Sí.
Yes.
Sí?
Yes?
L'he tocat a l'Espanya.
I have touched it in Spain.
M'hauries regalat a Juanjo un dibuix, no?
You would have given Juanjo a drawing, right?
Uh!
Uh!
Quinto, quant és?
Fifth, how much is it?
Estalvia 150 euros, eh?
Save 150 euros, huh?
És un regalo.
It is a gift.
És broma, és broma.
It's a joke, it's a joke.
Va, què ens vols explicar avui, Juanjo?
Come on, what do you want to tell us today, Juanjo?
Oi, oi.
Oh, oh.
Últim dia, última secció.
Last day, last section.
Hoy venía a daros las gracias.
Today I came to thank you.
Ah, sí?
Oh, really?
Sí, porque hoy es mi último día de sección
Yes, because today is my last day of the section.
y quería confesar que mi sueño era hablar por la radio.
and I wanted to confess that my dream was to speak on the radio.
Ah, sí?
Oh, really?
Era mi sueño.
It was my dream.
¿Des de cuán?
Since when?
Y ahora es realidad, ya.
And now it's a reality, already.
Pues desde que empecé a hacer entrevistas y esto por ahí,
Well, since I started doing interviews and this sort of thing out there,
yo pensaba, digo, o sea, ¿te imaginas tener tu sección?
I was thinking, I mean, like, can you imagine having your own section?
¿En serio, Dios?
Seriously, God?
Te lo prometo, te lo prometo.
I promise you, I promise you.
Pero, ¿qué vas a ver en aquel moment de fer ràdio
But, what are you going to see at that moment of doing radio?
com a entrevistador?
as an interviewer?
Estat, que dius, yo voy a ser...
State, you say, I'm going to be...
Porque yo he sido toda la vida muy hablador.
Because I have been very talkative all my life.
O sea, yo siempre tenía el problema este en el cole,
I mean, I always had this problem in school,
que le mandaban la carta a mi madre,
that they were sending the letter to my mother,
esta, ¿no?, la típica carta que decía
this one, right?, the typical letter that said
distrae a sus compañeros.
distracts his/her classmates.
Yo era de esos que estaba todo el rato hablando.
I was one of those who was talking all the time.
Me sacaban al pasillo, ¿no?, en plan, fuera, tal, por hablar.
They would take me out to the hallway, right?, like, out, you know, for talking.
Entonces, claro, el día que empecé a hacer entrevistas,
So, of course, the day I started doing interviews,
me decía, digo, esto es un chollo.
He was telling me, I say, this is a steal.
Digo, esto es lo mío, o sea,
I mean, this is mine, like,
realmente me he dedicado a hacer cómics por esto,
I have really dedicated myself to making comics for this.
para pegar el rollo, como en diferido, ¿no?
to go on about it, like on a delay, right?
Vale.
Okay.
Yo estoy en un lado pegando la chapa a alguien
I am on one side chatting someone up.
y alguien está leyendo un tebeo mío por ahí
and someone is reading one of my comics out there
y le estoy dando la tabarra a distancia.
and I'm bothering him from a distance.
Vale.
Okay.
Y era, pensé, digo, esto es ideal.
And I was thinking, I say, this is ideal.
Ah, el problema es que cuando empecé a venir aquí
Ah, the problem is that when I started coming here
ya no me hizo tanta gracia.
it didn't make me laugh so much anymore.
¿Por qué? Ah, han perdido las fuentes.
Why? Ah, they have lost the sources.
Bueno, no, eso fue antes.
Well, no, that was before.
O sea, antes de venir aquí, ya lo conté un día,
I mean, before coming here, I already told it one day,
casi hice mi sueño realidad,
I almost made my dream come true,
pero como me salió un poco mal...
but since it turned out a bit wrong for me...
A ver, ¿qué va a pasar?
Let's see, what is going to happen?
¿Han perdido las fuentes? No.
Have they lost the sources? No.
El fuente es que duró una mañana.
The fountain lasted for a morning.
No, sí, sí, sí.
No, yes, yes, yes.
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Lo vuelvo a contar.
I tell it again.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Me llevó al programa y me dijo,
He took me to the program and told me,
mira, el contrato este que tienes ahí fuera,
look, the contract you have out there,
que no hace falta que lo firmes ya.
you don't need to sign it yet.
No, no está más nervioso.
No, he is not more nervous.
¿Eso entre allò y eso d'ara?
Is that between that and this now?
Sí.
Yes.
Aquest estrellato ara teu.
This stardom is now yours.
¿Qué ha habido entre amigues?
What has happened between friends?
¿Por qué no has anat tú a radios a decir
Why didn't you go to the radios to say?
hola, soy Juanjo, quiero hablar
Hello, I'm Juanjo, I want to talk.
y meteros la chapa?
and get the lecture?
¿Por qué no lo has dicho?
Why didn't you say it?
No, porque...
No, because...
Bueno, porque...
Well, because...
Si tu tenies il·lusió.
If you were excited.
No, pero yo considero que lo hago muy mal.
No, but I think I do it very poorly.
Entonces tampoco...
Then neither...
Yo no sé de esto.
I don't know about this.
¿Pero creus que és objectiu, realment?
But do you think it's objective, really?
¿Tu ets objectiu respecte a tu mateix?
Are you objective about yourself?
A veure si no.
Let's see if not.
¿Si consideres que lo haces muy mal?
Do you think you are doing it very badly?
No, lo hago fatal.
No, I do it terribly.
Lo que pasa es que yo veo que el Ruzi se ríe.
What happens is that I see Ruzi laughing.
Si ahora mismo aquí tengo un guión hecho,
If right now I have a script ready here,
no lo estoy siguiendo ni...
I'm not following it nor...
O sea, me estoy haciendo un lío tremendo.
I mean, I'm getting really tangled up.
Va, va, va, va.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Doncs seguim el guió, va, va.
So let's follow the script, come on, come on.
Sí?
Yes?
Es que no sé por dónde voy.
I just don't know where I'm going.
Et sapigues que la meva mare l'altre dia em va dir...
You should know that my mother told me the other day...
Sí.
Yes.
El noi aquell...
That boy...
Perquè hi ha molta gent que no sap el teu nom encara,
Because there are many people who still do not know your name,
però ho sabran.
but they will know it.
És difícil.
It's difficult.
Ho sabran aviat.
They will know soon.
El noi aquell, que parla castellà, va dir...
That boy, who speaks Spanish, said...
Sí, bueno, és un referent de castellà, no?
Yes, well, it's a reference to Spanish, isn't it?
És molt simpàtic i té molta raó.
He is very nice and is very right.
Ah, sí?
Oh, really?
Sí.
Yes.
Vas explicar allò dels ronyons i de la teva àvia que deia que...
You were explaining about the kidneys and your grandmother who said that...
Ah, hombre, hombre.
Ah, man, man.
Que el fred entrava dels ronyons.
That the cold was coming from the kidneys.
Va dir que la teva àvia tenia molta raó.
He said that your grandmother was very right.
És un rellotge molt exponencial, eh?
It's a very exponential watch, isn't it?
És molt simpàtic i té molta raó de sota bomba.
He is very nice and has a lot of support behind him.
És com pum, pum, pum, vamos subiendo, subiendo,
It's like boom, boom, boom, we're going up, going up.
subiendo y ya, bueno, acabo ya de presidente.
Climbing up and that's it, well, I'm finishing as president now.
Bueno, ¿y qué ens volías dir?
Well, what did you want to tell us?
Bueno...
Well...
Es tu vocación verdadera.
It is your true vocation.
Sí, esto, que es mi vocación y que fantaseaba con tener la sección.
Yes, this is my vocation and I fantasized about having the section.
De hecho, no creo que te acuerdes,
In fact, I don't think you remember.
pero el primer día que me entrevistaste...
but the first day you interviewed me...
Sí.
Yes.
Estaba yo aquí sentadito en esta igual.
I was sitting here just like this.
Ah, el Javi Sendres.
Ah, Javi Sendres.
Sí.
Yes.
Sí, amb el Javi Sendres.
Yes, with Javi Sendres.
Yo solté...
I let go...
Exacto, que fue muy divertido.
Exactly, it was a lot of fun.
Yo solté al aire, que me estuve cachondeando en la viviana,
I let it out that I was joking around in the viviana.
después pensé, digo, hostia, como lo haya oído.
Then I thought, I mean, damn, if he has heard it.
Bueno, es igual.
Well, it doesn't matter.
Sí.
Yes.
Se me ha venido ahora a la mente.
It has just come to my mind.
Vale.
Okay.
Yo solté así, como el que no quiere la cosa,
I let it slip like someone who doesn't want it to happen.
pues si queréis, un día vuelvo.
Well, if you want, I can come back one day.
Y hacemos algo.
And we do something.
Ah, sí, sí.
Ah, yes, yes.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Y hacemos algo.
And we do something.
O sea, yo ahí, implícitamente, estaba diciendo,
I mean, there I was implicitly saying,
Ruge, me encantaría ser colaborador de tu programa.
Ruge, I would love to be a contributor to your program.
Pero...
But...
Pero entre...
But among...
No lo he recordado.
I haven't remembered it.
Entre...
Between...
Lo hice tan tímido que nadie se enteró.
I did it so quietly that nobody found out.
Si quieres un día...
If you want one day...
Pero igual va a calar, ¿eh?
But it will still resonate, right?
Porque...
Because...
Si quieres un día, vuelvo.
If you want, I'll come back one day.
Y hacemos algo.
And we do something.
Se te va a venir a decir tú mientras dormías, ¿sabes?
It's going to come to tell you while you were sleeping, you know?
Cada nit, des de llavors.
Every night, since then.
Eso fue una semilla que yo planté, ¿no?
That was a seed that I planted, right?
Planté ahí en tu cabeza y ha fructificado.
It was planted there in your mind and has borne fruit.
A nosaltres ens ha fet molta il·lusió trobar-te,
We are very excited to meet you.
descobrir-te, un aplaudiment per tu,
discovering you, a round of applause for you,
per tot l'amor que ens dones.
for all the love you give us.
Al contrario, al contrario, al contrario, de verdad, ¿eh?
On the contrary, on the contrary, on the contrary, really, right?
La radio sensible.
The sensitive radio.
Y, de hecho, estoy muy contento también porque,
And, in fact, I am very happy too because,
o sea, a raíz de esta sección me ha conocido,
that is to say, as a result of this section, she has gotten to know me,
un target que yo no...
a target that I don't...
que mis TVOs no llegaban a esas personas.
that my comics didn't reach those people.
¿Qué tipo de persona diríais tú?
What kind of person would you say you are?
Pues de una edad media para adelante.
Well, from the Middle Ages onwards.
Les nostres mares, bàsicament.
Our mothers, basically.
Exacto.
Exactly.
Se n'han enamorat totes del Juanjo.
They have all fallen in love with Juanjo.
Y me encanta, me encanta ese target.
And I love it, I love that target.
Porque toco temas que les gustan.
Because I touch on topics that they like.
Esto de los ruñons, confitería, repostería, el pueblo...
This about the kidneys, confectionery, pastry, the village...
Bueno, estos temas.
Well, these topics.
Estos temas que me he tirado todo el año hablando.
These topics that I have been talking about all year.
De estos temas.
Of these topics.
Explica'ns la rica.
Tell us about the rich one.
Lo más moderno que he comentado creo que ha sido los helados de frigo.
The most modern thing I've talked about, I think, has been the ice creams from Frigo.
Sí.
Yes.
De los 80. He llegado hasta los 80.
From the 80s. I've made it to the 80s.
Más allá de ahí no he tocado.
Beyond there, I haven't touched.
No, no, no passa res.
No, no, it's fine.
Pero, escolta, la ràdio en general,
But, listen, the radio in general,
la ràdio no s'imaginava que el 2019 algú parlaria de repostería.
The radio did not imagine that in 2019 someone would talk about pastry.
No.
No.
Estaríem a gust allà nedant.
We would be comfortable there swimming.
Innovo, algo retroinnovación.
I innovate, something retro-innovation.
Retroinnovación.
Retroinnovation.
Innovo pa' atrás.
I innovate backward.
Escolta'm, de tota manera...
Listen to me, anyway...
El Juanjo.
The Juanjo.
Tu ho has passat malament?
Have you had a hard time?
Sí.
Yes.
Sí, tot i així?
Yes, and yet?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
No, esto iba a una...
No, this was going to a...
O sea, lo típico, ¿no?
I mean, the typical thing, right?
O sea, que cuando consigues un sueño, ¿qué haces, no?
I mean, when you achieve a dream, what do you do, right?
Si eres así un poco cenizo, te saboteas.
If you're a bit of a downer, you sabotage yourself.
Ah, sí.
Oh, yes.
Claro, autoboycott.
Of course, self-boycott.
Sí, te boicoteas, haces todo lo posible.
Yes, you sabotage yourself, you do everything possible.
Yo recuerdo muchos días que iba diciendo, oye, Ruxia, cuando acabamos,
I remember many days I would say, hey, Ruxia, when are we finishing,
si quieres no vuelvo ya la semana que viene, ¿no?
If you want, I won't come back next week, right?
Pensando que me ibas a liberar de la condena esta, que era mi propio sueño,
Thinking that you were going to free me from this sentence, which was my own dream,
porque, o sea, por dar un ejemplo,
because, I mean, to give an example,
perdí una muela.
I lost a molar.
¿Cómo?
How?
Apretando tanto una mañana...
Squeezing so much one morning...
¿Qué dios?
What god?
Me lo juro.
I swear it.
¿Dormint o no?
Sleeping or not?
Me levanté, me fui a...
I got up, I went to...
¿Dormint?
Sleeping?
Sí, durmiendo, esto que aprietas.
Yes, sleeping, this that you squeeze.
Sí, sí, jo ho faig.
Yes, yes, I do it.
Bruxisme.
Bruxism.
¿No porteu fèrula?
Aren't you bringing a splint?
Yo también lo faig.
I do it too.
Sí, no, a raíz...
Yes, no, as a result...
Desde que soy colaborador llevo esta cosa.
Since I became a collaborator, I carry this thing.
¿En serio?
Seriously?
En serio, en serio.
Seriously, seriously.
Fui a comerme un donut, por una mañana, para desayunar,
I went to eat a donut, for one morning, for breakfast.
y digo, hostia, tenía un hueso, el donut este, y era mi muela, tío.
And I say, damn, I had a bone, this donut, and it was my molar, dude.
Bah.
Bah.
Te lo prometo.
I promise you.
Fui al dentista y os di...
I went to the dentist and I told you...
Me dijo, ¿has cambiado de trabajo y tal?
He asked me, have you changed jobs and such?
¿Estás haciendo...?
Are you doing...?
¿No?
No?
¿Tienes estrés?
Do you have stress?
Y digo, hostia, es que ahora trabajo en la radio.
And I say, damn, it's just that I work on the radio now.
Y dice, pues ya está.
And he says, well, that's it.
Eso ha sido.
That has been.
Y me tuve que hacer la cosa esta.
And I had to do this thing.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Y dormir con eso por la noche, apretando ahí...
And sleeping with that at night, squeezing there...
Bueno, fatal.
Well, terrible.
He tenido problemas de espalda también.
I have had back problems as well.
No sé si está content o si le va mal.
I don't know if he is happy or if things are going badly for him.
Un día...
One day...
Te lo prometo, ¿eh?
I promise you, okay?
Esto, mira, lo prometo que todos los oyentes que os acaban de testigo.
This, look, I promise that all the listeners who have just witnessed it.
O sea, salí de aquí y me fui a urgencias.
So, I left here and went to urgent care.
¿Tú creus que ens ve a denunciar?
Do you think he's coming to report us?
Pero prometo, me fui a urgencias, tío.
But I promise, I went to the emergency room, man.
Cuando entré en urgencias, yo pensé, digo, pues si no estoy bien.
When I entered the emergency room, I thought, well, if I'm not feeling well.
O sea, no...
I mean, no...
Yo te aseguro que la mía mare ahora está patin, ¿eh?
I assure you that my mother is now skating, okay?
Pues me fui a urgencias.
So I went to the emergency room.
Fui para allá.
I went there.
Me acuerdo que me llamó Núria, mi novia, que vienes ya para el trabajo.
I remember that Núria, my girlfriend, called me, asking if you are coming to work already.
Digo, mira, me voy para urgencias.
I mean, look, I'm going to the emergency room.
¿Qué te van a dir?
What are they going to tell you?
Digo, ¿qué te pasa?
I say, what’s wrong with you?
¿Qué te pasa?
What’s wrong with you?
Digo, me encuentro...
I say, I find myself...
Me diré una cosa.
I will say one thing.
Sí.
Yes.
Tú vas molt ràpidament allà perquè et donguin coses.
You go there very quickly for them to give you things.
Sí.
Yes.
Pastillitas de colores.
Colored pills.
Sí.
Yes.
Me fui para allá.
I went over there.
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
¿Qué te dieron?
What did they give you?
Tal cual, ¿eh?
Just like that, huh?
No bastant.
Not enough.
Ya no hay.
There is no more.
Digo, aquí la espalda, digo, y a la vez, digo, me viene un dolor hacia adelante y otro
I mean, here in the back, I mean, and at the same time, I mean, I feel a pain coming forward and another.
hacia detrás.
backwards.
Un diagrama.
A diagram.
Te lo juro, ¿eh?
I swear it, okay?
Entonces me estuvo ahí tocando, tal, y me dijo, esto es ansiedad, no es nada, dice,
Then he was there touching me, like that, and he said, this is anxiety, it's nothing, he says,
pero tampoco te veo tan mal para darte una pastilla.
but I don't see you that bad to give you a pill.
¡Ay!
Oh!
¿Y tú, don Reia?
And you, Mr. Reia?
¿Tú, Reia?
You, Reia?
Y yo, mira, ya me voy.
And I, look, I'm already leaving.
Digo, me voy.
I mean, I'm leaving.
Es que digo, voy nervioso.
I mean, I'm feeling nervous.
Digo, ya...
I say, already...
Digo, no pasa nada.
I mean, it's nothing.
No pasa nada.
Nothing happens.
El que valoren es la teva manera de explicar las cosas, aquello lúcido, tímido, espontáneo,
What they value is your way of explaining things, that which is lucid, timid, spontaneous,
tierno, hipocondríaco, también.
tender, hypochondriac, too.
Hipocondríaco.
Hypochondriac.
Pero esto me ha ido a peor, ¿eh?
But this has gotten worse for me, right?
O sea, desde que estoy aquí lo de hipocondría me ha ido a peor.
In other words, since I've been here, my hypochondria has gotten worse.
Lo tenía controlado, pero se me ha ido de madre.
I had it under control, but it got out of hand.
¿Y no has pensado en ir a hacer un podcast, tú, pel teu compte?
And haven't you thought about starting a podcast on your own?
Esto...
This...
Ahora no volem que ho facis, perquè estàs amb nosaltres.
Now we don't want you to do it, because you are with us.
Esto te lo iba a contar, también, que está aquí apuntado en el guión.
I was going to tell you this too, as it's noted here in the script.
Muy bien, Roger.
Very good, Roger.
Tonto no soy.
I'm not stupid.
Me vas ahí poniendo que majo, ¿eh?
You're putting me there as nice, aren't you?
A mí también.
Me too.
Al principio no lo hacía y lo pasaba fatal.
At first, I didn't do it and I had a terrible time.
Ahora me ayuda.
Now help me.
No, está muy bien.
No, it's very good.
Está muy bien.
It's very good.
Sí, tengo un colega que me llamaba el podcast humano, o sea, que ya lo llevo dentro.
Yes, I have a colleague who used to call me the human podcast, so I already have it inside me.
El tío se dedicaba a grabarme a escondidas cuando pegaba estos monólogos y después
The guy used to secretly record me when I was performing these monologues and then
se lo escuchaba, tío, en la cama.
you could hear him, man, in bed.
De veritat.
Really.
Te prometo.
I promise you.
Le pegué uno, o sea, el más mítico, su favorito, porque después me lo decía, hostia,
He hit one, I mean, the most mythical one, his favorite, because then he told me, damn,
¿tengo uno tuyo?
Do I have one of yours?
Dice, buenísimo.
Say, very good.
Es como un concert pirata, ¿no?, allò que abans la gent...
It's like a pirate concert, right? That thing that people used to...
Exacto.
Exact.
Hay un concierto pirata.
There is a pirate concert.
Tengo un concierto pirata tuyo, cojonudo, de una vez que estuvieses hablando de las nubes
I have a fantastic pirate concert of yours from a time when you were talking about the clouds.
de Albuquerque.
of Albuquerque.
Y yo, ¿cómo?
And me, how?
Yo ni me acordaba.
I didn't even remember.
Sí, una vez cuando hicimos el viaje a aquel Albuquerque, que fuimos a ver unos talleres
Yes, once when we made the trip to that Albuquerque, we went to see some workshops.
y tal, dice, pues tú te pusiste a hablar de las nubes porque sacaste toda una teoría
and so on, he says, well you started talking about the clouds because you came up with a whole theory
de que las nubes en Albuquerque eran más grandes porque estaban a mucha altitud, entonces
that the clouds in Albuquerque were bigger because they were at a high altitude, then
no sé qué.
I don't know what.
Bueno, le pegué un rollo y al tío le encantaba.
Well, I gave him a story and the guy loved it.
Sí.
Yes.
Y para dormir...
And to sleep...
Y perdona, ¿ell dónde tenía el grabador?
And sorry, where did he have the recorder?
¿Cómo te grababa?
How did you record me?
Con el móvil.
With the mobile phone.
Ah, fa veure que...
Ah, it makes you see that...
Él estaba ahí así y yo como en sí mismo, empiezo ahí con mi novia triva de las nubes
He was there like that and I, as if in myself, start there with my girlfriend trivializing the clouds.
de Albuquerque y tal, no sé qué, y el tío se lo grabó.
from Albuquerque and such, I don’t know what, and the guy recorded it.
De hecho, este chaval es guionista, el Mario, y en sus cómics hay parrafadas enteras, tío,
In fact, this guy is a screenwriter, Mario, and in his comics, there are entire paragraphs, dude.
que las ha sacado de los podcasts estos que me grababa.
that has taken them out of those podcasts that he was recording for me.
Pero eso está robado.
But that is stolen.
¿Tú has robado?
Have you stolen?
Bueno, pero coño, yo mismo ni me acuerdo, o sea de...
Well, but damn, I don't even remember myself, I mean...
Sí, sigo el Mario.
Yes, I follow Mario.
Tuitejar a la Lolita Bosch, inmenso Juanjo Saez.
Tweeting to Lolita Bosch, immense Juanjo Saez.
Hombre, Lolita, pero es que con Lolita tenemos una relación de amistad y cariño que no
Man, Lolita, but with Lolita we have a relationship of friendship and affection that doesn't...
es objetiva.
It is objective.
Pues como te iba contando, porque ya me estoy yendo por las ramas como siempre, es que esto
Well, as I was telling you, because I'm already going off on a tangent as always, is that this...
me hace mucha gracia.
It makes me laugh a lot.
El tema este de Albuquerque resulta que nos fuimos de viaje con mi colega este, el Valleja,
The thing about Albuquerque is that we went on a trip with my buddy, this Valleja.
Jonas, ¿sabes? Este de lo imposible.
Jonas, do you know? This about the impossible.
El de los cines, sí. Este cuando éramos jóvenes
The one from the cinemas, yes. This one when we were young.
éramos amigos. Ahora ya no sé.
We were friends. Now I don't know anymore.
Bueno, sí, también. Y con el Mario
Well, yes, him too. And with Mario.
nos fuimos al buquerque
we went to Albuquerque
de viaje a hacer unos talleres con niños.
on a trip to hold some workshops with children.
Entonces el colega este Mario, que es
So this colleague Mario, who is
muy tremendo, es muy tremendo.
very tremendous, it's very tremendous.
O sea, es un tío que un día
I mean, he's a guy who one day
lo tendríais que traer porque este me supera.
You would have to bring it because this one is beyond me.
Me supera. Me acuerdo que íbamos en el
It overwhelms me. I remember that we were going on the
avión y el tío de repente me dice
airplane and the guy suddenly says to me
oye, ¿tienes hambre o qué?
Hey, are you hungry or what?
Y yo, hombre, pues sí,
And I, man, well yes,
i va a vendre la azafata.
and he/she is going to sell the flight attendant.
Dice, no, espera. Se sube,
He says, no, wait. He gets on.
no sube, saca la mochila
don't go up, take out the backpack
que llevaba ahí y sacó dos latas de sardinas
that he had there and took out two cans of sardines
y se puso a hacer bocadillos.
and started making sandwiches.
Bocatas de sardinas.
Sardine sandwiches.
Digo, pero ¿cómo has metido
I say, but how did you get in?
las latas? Dice yo.
The cans? I say.
Yo las he echado por ahí dentro.
I have thrown them in there.
O sea, el tío, en lugar de meter droga,
I mean, the guy, instead of putting in drugs,
metió dos latas de sardinas
he put in two cans of sardines
y pasó el arco de detección.
and passed through the detection arch.
Imagínate, ahí haciendo
Imagine, there doing
bocadillos ahí. ¿Us van a dir alguna cosa?
Sandwiches over there. Are they going to tell you anything?
Hombre, la gente miraba.
Man, people were looking.
Sí, pero la vostesa.
Yes, but yours.
¿Us va a dir, no se puede comer sardinas?
Is he going to tell you, you can't eat sardines?
No, era como, ¿sabes estos dos catetos
No, it was like, you know these two legs.
que vienen del pueblo, que sacan la navaja
that come from the village, that take out the knife
y empiezan a pelear la fruta? Pues lo mismo.
And do they start fighting the fruit? Well, the same.
O sea, dos catetos allí que se iban
I mean, two legs there that were leaving.
al buquerque, ¿no?, a Estados Unidos
Albuquerque, right? In the United States.
haciendo bocatas de sardinas en el avión
making sardine sandwiches on the plane
y nadie nos dijo nada.
and no one told us anything.
Tant de bo no hi ha sigut entrepans de sardines, eh, a l'avió.
Hopefully there weren't any sardine sandwiches on the plane, huh?
També t'ho dic, sí, sí, sí.
I'm telling you too, yes, yes, yes.
També, un pas més, aquestes...
Also, one step further, these...
Traure una petita graella
Take out a small grill.
i fer allà. Sí, no, no.
And do there. Yes, no, no.
Una sardinada. Mario es muy tremendo.
A sardine barbecue. Mario is very intense.
Va una al buquerque, perdona, és al poble
It's going to Albuquerque, sorry, it's in the village.
de Breaking Bad. Exacto.
from Breaking Bad. Exactly.
Fuimos a los estudios, sí, sí, a ver.
We went to the studios, yes, yes, to see.
Sí, vamos a ver eso. Con el Bayona, porque como él
Yes, let's see that. With Bayona, because like him
tiene enchufes, nada más llegar allí
It has plugs, as soon as you arrive there.
nos detectaron, no sé cómo, y
they detected us, I don't know how, and
vino como una especie de...
came like a kind of...
de una limusina, una cosa de estas grandes.
from a limousine, something like these big ones.
Sí. No sé.
Yes. I don't know.
Tú con tu bocata de sardinas.
You with your sardine sandwich.
Y nos llevaron ahí a ver los estudios.
And they took us there to see the studios.
Estaban rodando Los Vengadores, sí.
They were filming The Avengers, yes.
Sí, sí, ves, me voy por las ramas
Yes, yes, I get sidetracked.
y ya no sé.
And I don't know anymore.
Y...
And...
No, digues, digues. No, no, que iba a contar
No, tell me, tell me. No, no, I was going to say.
que una vez el colega este, el Mario,
that once the colleague is here, Mario,
es claustrofóbico,
it's claustrophobic,
y se quedó encerrado en el
and got locked inside it
baño del avión
airplane bathroom
y se puso a dar patadas,
and started kicking,
a dar patadas contra la puerta
to kick against the door
y la gente, había ahí unos que empezaron a gritar
and the people, there were some who started to shout
¡Sáquenlo! ¡Sáquenlo!
Get him out! Get him out!
¡Porque va a romper el avión!
Because it's going to break the plane!
Home, tranquilo.
Calm down, man.
Si trencas la puerta del lavabo, no s'obren
If you break the bathroom door, it won't open.
totes les portes de l'avió de Cognit.
all the doors of the Cognit plane.
Sáquenlo. Ni va tot enganxat
Take it out. It's all stuck together.
com si fóssim Lego, que va que hi empeça.
As if we were Lego, which goes, let’s get started.
¿Això és el que fas a la vida?
Is this what you do in life?
¿A anar explicant històries? Sí.
To tell stories? Yes.
Doncs nosaltres t'he de dir que estem molt contents
Well, I have to tell you that we are very happy.
que vinguis amb nosaltres. A esto me dedico, en realidad.
that you come with us. This is what I actually do.
Y todas las historietas que hago, todos los libros,
And all the comics I make, all the books,
esto es dar la chapa.
this is being a bore.
Doncs fem una cosa, Maria.
Well, let's do something, Maria.
Mira, a mi m'ha agradat el que ha fet el Juanjo
Look, I liked what Juanjo did.
aquest any. A mi també.
this year. Me too.
Mira, Juanjo.
Look, Juanjo.
Vaig a escriure una cosa en aquest punt.
I am going to write something at this point.
Que m'he enterado que
That I've heard that
este fin de semana hicisteis una cena.
This weekend you had a dinner.
Sí. Y que no...
Yes. And no...
Ay, está muy triste. Que no me invitasteis.
Oh, she's very sad. That you didn't invite me.
O sea...
That is...
No, no te invitamos, ¿no?
No, we didn't invite you, did we?
Y me llegó un WhatsApp en plan de
And I received a WhatsApp saying
ojalá estuvieras aquí y nos contaras historias.
I wish you were here to tell us stories.
Y empecé, digo, pues si no me habéis avisado.
And I started, I say, well if you haven't warned me.
Es verdad. Digo, ¿pero cómo voy a ir?
It's true. I mean, how am I going to go?
Ya escribí, ya nadie me contestó.
I already wrote, no one answered me.
Y ya me quedé, digo, pues...
And I stayed, I mean, well...
Pero eso, Juanjo, t'hem de dir...
But that, Juanjo, we have to tell you...
¿Tú fuiste, Maria?
Were you there, Maria?
Sí, però t'hem de dir que només anaven
Yes, but we have to tell you that they only went
els de l'equip, diguem-ne. No vam dir res a cap col·laborador.
The team members, let's say. We didn't say anything to any collaborator.
Ah, vale, vale.
Ah, okay, okay.
Me quedé un poco...
I was left a little...
Hostia.
Holy shit.
Home, no.
No, not at home.
¿No és que convidem a tothom menys a ell?
Aren't we inviting everyone except him?
Siempre dius, tengo la agenda llena.
You always say, I have a full schedule.
Ya, pero me hubiera ido.
Yeah, but I would have left.
Yo me imaginé ahí toda la peña, tú pasándolo súper bien.
I imagined everyone there, you having a great time.
És per dir-ho ara, eh?
Is it to say it now, huh?
Imagina't que arriba a ser veritat.
Imagine it becoming true.
Comiendo pizzas ahí.
Eating pizzas there.
Escolta'm, acabem aquesta secció última del Juanjo Saez,
Listen to me, let's finish this last section of Juanjo Saez,
que no sé si el sentirem aquesta setmana més.
I don't know if we'll hear him this week anymore.
Yo sobre todo, por encima de todo,
I above all, above everything,
os quería...
I loved you...
¡Cállate ya, que eres como una locomotora!
Shut up already, you're like a locomotive!
Os quería dar las gracias.
I wanted to thank you.
Ha sido, de verdad, una pasada.
It has truly been awesome.
Pues danos las gracias firmando este papel
Well, thank us by signing this paper.
que posa això que llegiràs ara
what does this say that you will read now
que diu
what does it say
a dia d'avui, adiem, Juanjo.
As of today, we postpone, Juanjo.
Por toda...
Throughout...
Un moment, que no sé, oye, va a ser una mica...
One moment, because I don't know, hey, it's going to be a little...
¿Qué?
What?
Que he dicho por toda la temporada
What have I said all season?
para venir cada día a la Estat de Gràcia.
to come every day to the Gràcia Estate.
¡No!
No!
¡Sí!
Yes!
Queda usted fichado para el año que ve.
You are signed up for next year.
Gracias, gracias.
Thank you, thank you.
¡Qué fuerte!
How strong!
A la Estat de Gràcia, Juanjo Saez.
In the State of Grace, Juanjo Saez.
Un aplaudimiento.
A round of applause.
Ya me habías dicho algo, ¿eh?
You had already told me something, hadn't you?
O sea, por eso no he reaccionado un poco así falsamente
In other words, that's why I haven't reacted a bit in a false way.
porque ya sabía algo.
because I already knew something.
¡Ah!
Ah!
Ya, para celebrarlo de verdad, Juanjo.
Yes, to really celebrate it, Juanjo.
Pero has de signar, has de signar.
But you have to sign, you have to sign.
Has de signar y farem una fotografía.
You need to sign and we will take a photograph.
Estáis locos.
You are crazy.
Sapíeu que l'any que ve...
Did you know that next year...
Cerraré el programa.
I will close the program.
Digues, Maria...
Tell me, Maria...
No, que hem trobat el tall del Juanjo parlant amb el Fuentes.
No, we found the clip of Juanjo talking with Fuentes.
No, no és verda.
No, it is not true.
Sí, sí que l'hem trobat, sí que l'hem trobat.
Yes, yes, we have found it, yes, we have found it.
Però no l'hi posis, eh?
But don't put it on him, okay?
No, no l'hi posarem.
No, we won't put it there.
No, l'hi posarem.
No, we will put it on him/her.
No, no l'hi posarem.
No, we won't put it on.
Cuando no esté.
When I'm not here.
Gràcies, Juanjo, de veritat.
Thank you, Juanjo, really.
Bueno, un placer, un placer.
Well, a pleasure, a pleasure.
Muchas gracias.
Thank you very much.
Fins aviat!
See you soon!
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