Pòdcast 'Ho faig com puc: Com ajudem els nostres fills en períodes d'exàmens?'

Mílies d'alumnes faran a partir de dimarts la selectivitat.

Thousands of students will start the university entrance exam from Tuesday.

És una situació que sempre provoca ses nervis

It's a situation that always causes nerves.

i avui a L'ho faig com puc, el podcast del Criatures, en volem parlar.

And today in L'ho faig com puc, the Criatures podcast, we want to talk about it.

Com afrontar un examen com aquest?

How to approach an exam like this?

L'Elisabet Escritxe i jo mateixa ja fa uns quants anys,

Elisabet Escritxe and I myself have been working together for several years now,

tampoc tants, no?

not that many, right?

És molt optimista.

He is very optimistic.

No cal dir-ho, no cal especificar-ho.

It goes without saying, it doesn't need to be specified.

Què va fer la selectivitat? No sé com la recordes tu.

What did the entrance exams do? I don't know how you remember it.

Jo no la recordo tan malament o tan angoixant al moment de preparar-la,

I don't remember it being so bad or so anxiety-inducing at the time of preparing it.

perquè suposo que en el fons ets molt conscient

because I suppose that deep down you are very aware

que en les dues setmanes o les tres setmanes que et queden

that in the two weeks or the three weeks that you have left

un cop has acabat els exàmens de batxillerat no hi ha temps,

once you have finished the high school exams there is no time,

però sí que recordo que el dia en qüestió era com...

but I do remember that the day in question was like...

Vale, ara que toca, català, castellà,

Okay, now what's next, Catalan, Spanish,

com si fossis un producte d'aquestes cintes de supermercat

like you were a product from one of those supermarket checkout belts

que van passant, ara aquest.

that are happening, now this one.

Ara el següent, ara el següent.

Now the next one, now the next one.

Sense tenir molt clar ben bé què estaves fent, no?

Without being very clear about what you were doing, right?

Ara canvia el xip, al cap d'una hora torna a canviar el xip

Now change the chip, after an hour change the chip again.

i això sí que recordo un punt angoixant,

and this I do remember as a stressful point,

aquest punt de la selectivitat.

this point of the selectivity.

Sí, jo no recordo tampoc que fos una època de molts nervis,

Yes, I also don't remember it being a time of a lot of nerves,

potser és perquè la memòria fa aquestes coses, no?

Maybe it's because memory does these things, doesn't it?

Que obliden que no...

That they forget that no...

Que és només el...

What is only the...

Els pitjors, sí. Experiències, però no, la veritat és que no ho recordo.

The worst, yes. Experiences, but no, the truth is I don't remember it.

El que més recordo, de fet, és el berenar que em va fer la meva mare

What I remember most, in fact, is the snack my mother made for me.

quan vaig tornar de la selectivitat,

when I returned from the university entrance exams,

un croissant amb pernil i formatge, calent.

a croissant with ham and cheese, hot.

O sigui que no està malament, no,

So it's not bad, is it?

però sí que recordo que em va costar molt

but I do remember that it was very difficult for me

decidir quina opció triar, no?

decide which option to choose, right?

Jo que et donaven dos textos

I was given two texts.

i en això vaig perdre molt de temps,

and in this I wasted a lot of time,

que potser sí que hauria estat bé també, no?,

that perhaps it would have been good too, right?

que ens haguessin donat com tàctiques o tècniques d'estudi,

that they had given us as tactics or study techniques,

però nervis en si, no,

but nerves in themselves, no,

i això que tenia com molt clar, eh?,

and this was something I was very clear about, you know?

la carrera que volia fer i que la nota no estava...

the degree I wanted to do and that the grade was not...

Era bastant alta llavors i...

She was quite tall back then and...

Bueno, no com ara, però encara.

Well, not like now, but still.

Però no, no va ser...

But no, it was not...

O almenys no recordo, no recordo molt

Or at least I don't remember, I don't remember much.

com va ser...

how was it...

Molt angoixant, però sí que és veritat, no?,

Very distressing, but it is true, isn't it?

que a vegades pot provocar-ho, sobretot per aquest pes

that can sometimes provoke it, especially due to this weight

que sembla que té la selectivitat,

that it seems that she has the entrance exams,

que després en parlarem, que potser, no?,

that we'll talk about it later, maybe, right?

és com que t'ha de marcar la resta de la vida

it is as if it has to mark the rest of your life

i no és així, però això pot provocar

And it's not like that, but this can cause

molts nervis i molta angoixa en molts estudiants

many nerves and a lot of anxiety in many students

i per això avui en volem parlar

And that's why we want to talk about it today.

i ho volem fer amb el Roger Vallèscar,

and we want to do it with Roger Vallèscar,

psicòleg, coordinador de l'Àrea de Salut Mental

psychologist, coordinator of the Mental Health Area

i Infantor Juvenil de l'Hospital Sagrat Cor de Martorell

and Youth Caregiver of the Sacred Heart Hospital of Martorell

i del Comitè d'Infància i Adolescència

and of the Committee on Childhood and Adolescence

del Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya.

from the Official College of Psychology of Catalonia.

Què tal, Roger? Benvingut.

How are you, Roger? Welcome.

Doncs molt content d'estar aquí amb vosaltres.

Well, I'm very happy to be here with you.

No sé si tu recordes la teva selectivitat.

I don't know if you remember your entrance exams.

Doncs jo crec que no hi ha ningú

Well, I don't think there is anyone.

que se n'oblidi d'això, eh?

forget about that, okay?

Això vol dir alguna cosa, eh?

This means something, right?

Sí, sí, clar. En certa manera

Yes, yes, of course. In a way.

és un ritual de pas, també, no?,

It's a rite of passage, isn't it?

d'una època de l'institut,

from a time in high school,

d'una època en la que,

from an era in which,

d'alguna manera, no has hagut de triar massa

In a way, you haven't had to choose much.

les coses, a una altra època

things, in another time

en què afrontes el teu

in what do you face your

desenvolupament professional,

professional development,

com serà d'aquí en un temps,

how it will be in some time,

i és un pas endavant molt important.

And it is a very important step forward.

Per tant, jo crec que és una cosa

Therefore, I believe it is something.

que no oblidem ningú.

that we do not forget anyone.

El que passa és que també és cert que han canviat bastant les coses

What happens is that it is also true that things have changed quite a bit.

des de fa uns quants anys, quan la vam fer nosaltres,

for a few years now, when we did it,

i la pressió que tenen ara els nois i les noies.

And the pressure that boys and girls have now.

Per això potser jo crec que nosaltres

That's why perhaps I think that we

no ho vam viure amb tanta pressió, perquè també

we didn't experience it with so much pressure, because also

és veritat, les notes podien ser més o menys altes,

it's true, the grades could be higher or lower,

però no com ara, no?, que són

but not like now, right?, that they are

disparadíssimes, no?

very crazy, right?

És veritat que es comptabilitza d'una altra manera,

It is true that it is accounted for differently,

però entenc que el primer missatge a deixar clar

but I understand that the first message to make clear

és que no s'acaba el món.

it's not the end of the world.

Vull dir, es fa un examen, però no s'acaba el món

I mean, there's an exam, but it's not the end of the world.

si no s'aconsegueix l'objectiu, no?

if the goal is not achieved, right?

Quin seria el missatge de dir tant a pares com als nois

What would the message be to both parents and the boys?

que ara s'estiguin estudiant, fent colzes

that they are now studying, elbowing each other

per la selectivitat?

for the entrance exams?

Sí, no s'acaba el món. A veure, és cert,

Yes, the world isn't ending. Let's see, it's true,

la primera cosa és que els adults

the first thing is that adults

tenim l'avantatge que tenim una perspectiva

we have the advantage that we have a perspective

temporal més llarga que no pas

longer than usual

els adolescents, o els nois i les noies,

the adolescents, or the boys and girls,

i aleshores els pot anar molt bé

and then it can go very well for them

explicar-los que això,

to explain to them that this,

que és un moment important però que no s'acaba

it is an important moment but it does not end

el món, com tu deies,

the world, as you said,

i donar-los la perspectiva que les coses

and give them the perspective that things

continuen amb el temps, no?

They continue with time, right?

Per l'edat,

For the age,

primera, i també pel fet que una persona

first, and also because a person

quan està ficada, no?,

when it's inserted, right?

de ple en una oposició,

in the midst of a competition,

que no deixa de ser una oposició,

which is still a competition,

d'una certa manera, una competició

in a certain way, a competition

amb altres, doncs aleshores pot estar

with others, then it can be

excessivament centrada en allò i pot no veure

excessively focused on that and may not see

una mica el que passarà després, no?

A little bit of what will happen next, right?

Per tant, donar-los aquesta perspectiva pot ser

Therefore, giving them this perspective can be

molt útil. I hi ha eines que

very useful. And there are tools that

puguin fer servir per controlar

can be used to control

aquests nervis, que poden ser normals

these nerves, which can be normal

però que no derivin en angoixa,

but that they do not lead to anxiety,

per exemple? Sí, a veure,

for example? Yes, let's see,

és que el tema dels nervis,

it's just that the issue of nerves,

de controlar els nervis, els nervis

to control the nerves, the nerves

sempre generen una situació una mica

they always generate a somewhat

paradoxal, en la qual, de vegades,

paradoxical, in which, sometimes,

com més intentem controlar-los,

the more we try to control them,

és la millor manera de posar-se nerviós,

it's the best way to get nervous,

no? Per tant, sempre

no? Therefore, always

diem que els nervis, d'alguna manera,

we say that nerves, in some way,

el que hem de fer és acceptar-los, no?

What we have to do is accept them, right?

I això, que de vegades

And this, that sometimes

sembla que sigui una cosa excessivament banal,

it seems like an excessively trivial thing,

però és molt, molt útil.

but it is very, very useful.

Hem de pensar que davant d'una situació

We have to think that in the face of a situation

d'estrès en la qual nosaltres hem de tenir

of stress in which we must have

un rendiment molt alt, doncs és normal que

a very high performance, so it is normal that

estiguem neguitosos. Igual que

let's be anxious. Just like

no ho sé, penso en el Barça

I don't know, I think about Barça.

quan va jugar ara la final

When did he/she play the final now?

de la Copa d'Europa, no?,

of the European Cup, right?

l'equip de futbol de les dones.

the women's football team.

Doncs estic seguríssim que hi havia nervis,

Well, I'm absolutely sure there were nerves,

perquè quan tu surts a competir,

because when you go out to compete,

quan surts a l'estadi

when you go out to the stadium

o quan tu vas a l'examen, és normalíssim

or when you go to the exam, it's totally normal

que tinguis nervis. Per tant, això ho hem

may you have nerves. Therefore, we have this

de donar per assumit, i fins i tot els hem d'entendre

to take for granted, and we even have to understand them

com un potencial enèrgic

with an energy potential

que tenim, que més aviat

that we have, that sooner rather

el que hem de fer més que controlar-lo és

what we have to do more than control it is

aprendre-lo a gestionar-lo i a canalitzar-lo

learn to manage it and channel it

cap allò que ens interessa, que és cap a la resolució.

nothing that interests us, which is towards the resolution.

De la tasca, no? Però és molt

From the task, right? But it's very...

important no dir-los als nostres fills

important not to tell our children

o filles, estigues tranquil,

Oh girls, be calm,

sinó més aviat

but rather

naturalment estaràs nerviós,

naturally you will be nervous,

aquests nervis duraran una estona,

these nerves will last for a while,

gestiona'ls sobretot al principi,

manage them especially at the beginning,

després veuràs com a poc a poc,

then you will see how little by little,

si ho fas bé i segueixes alguns passos

If you do it well and follow some steps

que també en podem parlar,

that we can also talk about.

els teus nervis aniran baixant per si sols.

Your nerves will settle down on their own.

Però més que controlar-los és acceptar-los

But more than controlling them, it is about accepting them.

i veure com flueixen i acaben desapareixent

and see how they flow and eventually disappear

en la majoria dels casos.

in most cases.

Clar, segur que hi ha pares i mares que ens estan

Of course, there are surely parents who are with us.

escoltant que volen...

listening to what they want...

que volen ajudar els seus fills i filles

that they want to help their sons and daughters

i no saben com. Ara et demanarem

and they don't know how. Now we will ask you

com poden fer-ho, però primer escoltem

how can they do it, but first let's listen

la Raquel, que és una mare

Raquel, who is a mother

d'una filla que està a punt

of a daughter who is about to

de fer la seva activitat aquest any i ens explica

to carry out their activity this year and tells us

una mica com ho viu. Després ho comentem.

A bit like how he experiences it. We'll discuss it later.

És una nena que és molt

She is a girl who is very

autoexigent i perfeccionista

self-demanding and perfectionist

i això fa

and this makes

que la seva inseguretat ara mateix

that their insecurity right now

estigui a un nivell molt alt.

be at a very high level.

Aquests dies està molt irritable

These days he is very irritable.

i depèn del que

and it depends on what

li diguin, salta de seguida,

they say jump right away,

hem estat parlant

we have been talking

i l'intento

and I try it

transmetre confiança

transmit confidence

i que ha d'anar tranquil·la

and she needs to stay calm

i pensar en positiu

and think positively

que ella és capaç

that she is capable

de superar

to overcome

aquesta etapa

this stage

i si no arribés a la nota

and if I didn't reach the grade

on ha d'arribar

where it had to arrive

doncs que hi ha altres opcions

so there are other options

que no s'acaba el món, que no passa res.

the world doesn't end, nothing happens.

Tot i això

Nevertheless

ara fa bastants dies

it's been quite a few days now

que no hem parlat del tema

that we haven't talked about the topic

perquè l'última

because the last one

resposta que vaig rebre

response that I received

per per se al preguntar-li

for per se when asking him

que com ho portava, com estava

how was he handling it, how was he doing

va ser que

it was that

no li preguntés més

don't ask him/her anymore

perquè

because

no li agradava parlar del tema.

he didn't like talking about the subject.

Bé,

Well,

ara estem esperant

now we are waiting

totes dues ja

both already

que arribi la setmana vinent

let it arrive next week

faci els exàmens

take the exams

i pugui

I can.

fer una miqueta de bàsquet.

play a little basketball.

I estic segura

I am sure.

que ho superarà.

that will overcome it.

No vol parlar del tema,

He doesn't want to talk about the subject.

diu. Suposo que això s'ha de respectar

says. I suppose this has to be respected.

o s'ha d'intentar que tregui

or it should be attempted to take it out

el que porta dins?

What do you carry inside?

A veure, jo crec que en la majoria dels casos

Let's see, I think that in most cases

a veure, sempre diem que parlar de les coses

let's see, we always say that talking about things

és important i tot plegat

it's important and all that

però de vegades també s'ha de respectar

but sometimes it also has to be respected

l'espai de les persones

the space of the people

i si no en volen parlar

and if they don't want to talk about it

doncs probablement no hem de respectar això, no?

So we probably don't have to respect that, do we?

O en tot cas potser no en volen parlar en aquell moment

Or perhaps they simply do not want to talk about it at that moment.

però en volen parlar en un altre.

but they want to talk about it in another one.

I l'altra qüestió és que de vegades no és tant

And the other issue is that sometimes it's not that much.

que no vulguin parlar-ne

that they do not want to talk about it

sinó que no volen escoltar el mateix de sempre, no?

but they don't want to hear the same thing as always, do they?

Que és això que aquesta mare ens deia

What is this that this mother was telling us?

i que ho hem fet tots, eh?

And we've all done it, right?

Que és, doncs, d'explicar-los

What is it then, to explain them?

i no que han de mirar el costat positiu

and they have to look at the positive side

que s'han de tranquil·litzar, etcètera, etcètera.

that they need to calm down, etcetera, etcetera.

Tot això que en certa manera ja saben

All of this that they already know in a way.

i que per tant de vegades no volen tornar a escoltar.

and therefore sometimes they do not want to listen again.

O sigui, a banda d'això, què no hem de fer els pares?

So, apart from that, what should we not do as parents?

A banda d'això que comentaves ara

Aside from what you just mentioned.

hi ha alguna cosa més que no hàgim de fer

Is there anything else we need to do?

els pares davant d'aquesta situació?

the parents in front of this situation?

Bueno, jo diria que

Well, I would say that

amb aquestes dues coses n'hi ha prou, eh?

With these two things, it's enough, right?

O sigui, amb no dir-los als nanos

So, by not telling the kids.

estigues tranquil, sobretot, no?

be calm, above all, right?

Bueno, el tema de pensar en positiu

Well, the topic of thinking positively.

també és un tema que genera una mica de debat, eh?

It's also a topic that generates a bit of debate, huh?

Perquè també, paradoxalment,

Because also, paradoxically,

de vegades com més intentem pensar en positiu

sometimes the more we try to think positively

més ens fixem en les coses negatives, no?

we focus more on the negative things, don't we?

Per tant, més enllà de...

Therefore, beyond...

més que recomanar pensar en positiu

more than recommending thinking positively

la idea, sobretot, és tractar de veure

the idea, above all, is to try to see

els aspectes que preocupen

the aspects that worry

els nostres fills i filles

our sons and daughters

tractar de veure juntament amb ells

try to see together with them

què és el que veuen de negatiu

What do they see as negative?

o què els preocupa

or what worries them

i sovint, quan nosaltres podem fer l'esforç

And often, when we can make the effort.

de poder parlar de les coses negatives

of being able to talk about the negative things

que hi són, també, no?

They're there, too, right?

És més fàcil, aleshores, que ells després

It is easier, then, than they later.

comencin a veure la cosa positiva.

they are starting to see the positive thing.

Però si els hi venem d'entrada

But if we sell them to them at the start

l'opositiu i l'opositiu sense haver, diríem,

the opposite and the opposite without having, we would say,

pogut comentar amb ells què és el que els amoïna

could discuss with them what worries them

i què és el que veuen de negatiu

And what do they see as negative?

és més complicat que ho vegin.

It's more complicated for them to see it.

Per tant, abans parlàvem, no?, que jo recordo

Therefore, we were talking earlier, right?, that I remember.

el dia de l'examen d'anglès, aquell dia

the day of the English exam, that day

vaig tenir la magnífica idea de canviar la forma

I had the brilliant idea of changing the shape.

de fer un examen d'anglès, cosa que no havia fet mai

of taking an English exam, something I had never done before

i, evidentment, em va anar molt malament.

And, of course, it went very badly for me.

Per tant, posar exemples d'aquest tipus

Therefore, providing examples of this type

al teu fill, no pateixis, jo, per exemple, amb l'anglès

to your son, don't worry, I, for example, with English

aquell dia, no sé per què vaig decidir canviar aquesta fórmula

That day, I don't know why I decided to change that formula.

i em va anar fatal.

and it went horribly for me.

Així li treus ferro a la situació?

So you take the heat off the situation?

A ells l'ajuden, sentir experiències

They help them, feel experiences.

també que tu has viscut i que no van

also that you have lived and that they do not go

ser encertades en el seu moment?

be timely in their moment?

Relativitzar, no?, l'ha fet, suposo.

Relativize, right? I suppose he did it.

Sí, relativitzar, donar context,

Yes, relativize, provide context,

donar una perspectiva més àmplia,

to give a broader perspective,

això ajuda. Però també hi ha coses

this helps. But there are also things

concretes que els podem dir, eh? Per exemple,

you specify that we can say, right? For example,

en relació amb això que deies,

in relation to what you were saying,

canviar

change

els teus procediments

your procedures

just abans de l'examen, ostres,

just before the exam, wow,

et pot sortir bé, eh?, però

It could work out well for you, huh?, but

no sol ser el més recomanable.

it is not usually the most advisable.

Aleshores, una cosa que podem recomanar

So, one thing we can recommend

és que els dies previs

it's just that the days before

tinguin ja organitzades totes les

have all the arrangements already organized

coses del dia de l'examen.

things of the exam day.

La motxilla que portaran,

The backpack they will carry,

les etiquetes que necessitaran,

the labels they will need,

la documentació... Fins i tot

the documentation... Even

és recomanable que els dies abans

it is advisable that the days before

visitin el lloc on faran l'examen.

visiting the place where they will take the exam.

Que agafin el metro o el tren

Let them take the subway or the train.

o l'autobús, que hagin d'agafar fins allà,

or the bus, which they have to take to get there,

que s'acostumin a fer

that they get used to doing

aquell trajecte, que es familiaritzin

that journey, let them become familiar with it

amb l'espai. Per què? Doncs perquè

with space. Why? Well, because

tots nosaltres, quan anem a un lloc nou

all of us, when we go to a new place

que no coneixem, un cert estrès ens ho genera

that we do not know, a certain stress generates it for us

a tots plegats, això és ben normal.

To all of you, this is quite normal.

Però si aquest estrès i el sumes

But if you add this stress

a una persona que ja estarà estressada,

to a person who will already be stressed,

doncs tampoc ajuda. Per tant, si ja

so it doesn't help either. Therefore, if already

arrestem això, ajudem a que

let's stop this, let's help so that

la persona estigui una miqueta més segura.

the person is a little more confident.

Això és una recomanació fàcil

This is an easy recommendation.

i, en fi,

well, anyway,

i lògica, no?

And logic, right?

I quan arriba el dia D, què els

And when the D day arrives, what will they...

hem de recomanar? Quins passos deies, bueno,

Should we recommend? What steps did you mention, well,

ja sé que cada nen és un món, però

I know that every child is a world, but

quins passos pot anar bé per baixar

what steps can be taken to go down

tot aquest nivell d'estrès que en aquell moment

all this level of stress that at that moment

tenen? Excepte els teus

do they have? Except for yours

nervis, aquesta que hem dit abans que

nerves, this one that we mentioned earlier that

de debò jo no em cansa bé de repetir-ho,

I really don't get tired of repeating it.

és, estàs sortint a jugar

Yes, you are going out to play.

un partit molt important, estaràs

a very important match, you will be

neguitós o neguitosa. Segur.

anxious or anxious. Sure.

Facis el que facis, tindràs nervis.

Whatever you do, you will be nervous.

Per tant, assumeix que això serà

Therefore, assume that this will be.

així. Ho dic perquè si els diem

so. I say it because if we tell them

el contrari, no? Si tu li dius a una persona

the opposite, right? If you tell a person

has d'estar tranquil·la, és molt important

You need to stay calm, it's very important.

estar tranquil·la, i aquella persona

to be calm, and that person

naturalment es posarà neguitosa,

naturally she will become anxious,

el que començarà a pensar és

what he will begin to think is

m'estic posant neguitosa, hauria d'estar

I'm getting anxious, I should be.

tranquil·la, i aquesta

calm, and this

disjuntiva, diríem, fa que

disjunctive, we would say, makes that

et posis més neguitós. Per tant, primera

you become more anxious. Therefore, first

cosa, estaràs

thing, you will be

neguitosa, ho sabem. Segona,

anxious, we know it. Second,

quan tu comencis l'examen,

when you begin the exam,

comença fent una lectura

start by doing a reading

de la baix de l'examen,

from the exam results,

sense fer

without doing

cap altra valoració, cap buscar

no other assessment, no searching

quina és la pregunta

what is the question

més fàcil de l'examen.

easier than the exam.

I aleshores ves a parella.

And then go to a couple.

Un cop hagis resolt aquesta,

Once you have solved this,

sense qüestionar-te la resta,

without questioning the rest,

simplement vas a per la més fàcil.

you're just going for the easiest one.

Després, quan aquella la tens feta, busques

Afterwards, when you have that done, you look for

quina és la següent més fàcil.

Which is the next easiest?

Amb això, el que fem és

With this, what we do is

evitar bloquejar-nos,

avoid blocking ourselves,

perquè si tu comences a llegir

because if you start to read

l'examen i dius, ostres, aquesta

the exam and you say, wow, this one

primera pregunta, uf, molt

first question, phew, a lot

complicada, ui, ui, ui,

complicated, oh, oh, oh,

i

i

m'hi quedo clavat, doncs aleshores

I stay stuck there, then.

em bloquejo. Si vaig directament

I get blocked. If I go directly

sense fer una valoració

without making an assessment

d'aquesta pregunta, tiro, busco

from this question, I throw, I search

la més fàcil i començo amb aquella,

the easiest one and I start with that,

començo a guanyar seguretat

I’m starting to gain confidence.

i faig que aquests primers minuts,

I make these first few minutes,

que poden ser uns quants minuts,

that can be a few minutes,

que sabem que seran de més neguit,

that we know will be more troubling,

ostres, els enfronto amb la pregunta

Wow, I confront them with the question.

més senzilla. I per tant començo a guanyar

simpler. And therefore I start to win

una miqueta més de seguretat i em tranquil·litzo,

a little more security and I calm down,

dient, bueno, aquesta ja la tinc feta,

saying, well, I've already done this one,

doncs anem a parlar següent.

So let's talk next.

Aquesta també és una recomanació senzilla,

This is also a simple recommendation,

i que sol ser efectiva.

and that is often effective.

I què podem fer si ens bloquegem en l'examen?

And what can we do if we get stuck during the exam?

Jo abans explicava, no?, que una de les coses

I was explaining before, right?, that one of the things

que em va costar és decidir, no sé si era

what cost me is deciding, I don't know if it was

llengua, crec que era llengua castellana,

language, I think it was Spanish language,

decidir quin dels dos textos, no?, podia triar

decide which of the two texts, right?, could choose

i que em sortís millor. I vaig perdre molt de temps

And that I would do better. And I wasted a lot of time.

només pensant, perquè va arribar un moment

just thinking, because there came a moment

de bloqueig. Què passa, no?, quan ens

of blocking. What happens, right?, when we

bloquegem? Com podem revertir-ho?

Shall we block it? How can we reverse it?

Doncs, mira, passa

Well, look, it happens.

el mateix que quan tu vas en cotxe,

the same as when you go by car,

bueno, et puges del cotxe i

well, you get out of the car and

et vols posar el cinturó de seguretat

Do you want to put on your seatbelt?

que a vegades es traba, no?, es queda

that sometimes it gets stuck, right? it stays

bloquejat, no? Doncs en aquesta situació

blocked, right? So in this situation

sabeu què passa, no? Si segueixes

do you know what happens, right? If you continue

tibant... Que et carregues el cinturó.

Tightening... You're breaking the belt.

Bueno, et carregaràs el cotxe

Well, you'll load the car.

o acabaràs amb una tendinitis,

or you will end up with tendinitis,

però no el desbloquejaràs.

but you won't unlock it.

Per tant, el que hem de fer en aquella situació és

Therefore, what we have to do in that situation is

deixar anar, no?, deixar anar

let go, right?, let go

el cinturó

the belt

i molt poquet a poquet tornar

and little by little return

a moure'l fins que

to move it until

el puguem trebar. Doncs és una mica

we can find it. Well, it's a bit

el mateix, és a dir, en una situació de bloqueig

the same, that is, in a situation of blockage

intentar persistir, persistir

try to persist, persist

i persistir en desbloquejar,

I persist in unlocking,

l'única cosa que fa és bloquejar encara més, no?

The only thing it does is block even more, right?

Per tant, en la mesura que puguis,

Therefore, to the extent that you can,

dona't el temps per tirar una mica

give yourself the time to take a little break

enrere, canvia de pregunta,

back, change the question,

fes una altra cosa...

do something else...

Si et trobes que és l'última pregunta

If you find that this is the last question.

i que ja no pots tirar enrere, doncs

and that you can no longer turn back, then

aleshores el més recomanable

then the most advisable

és a cara o creu.

It's heads or tails.

De debò, eh? Ostres!

Really, huh? Wow!

Fes o pito, pito, colorito, o el que

Make it or pick a color, or whatever.

vulguis, però el que no t'ajudarà

you want, but what won't help you

és tractar de

it's about

prendre una decisió des d'un punt de vista...

make a decision from a point of view...

O sigui, tractar de resoldre

That is, to try to resolve.

dubte com aquest des d'un punt de vista

doubt like this from a point of view

racional, perquè si no la resol en els primers

rational, because if not he resolves it in the first ones

dos minuts, no?, de dir

two minutes, right?, to say

és que aquest tema val ser molt bé i aquest

It's just that this topic is very good and this.

en canvi no, si en dos

on the contrary no, if in two

minuts no ho has resolt, doncs

You haven't resolved it in minutes, then.

qualsevol dels dos.

Either one.

I hi ha alguna cosa que no s'hagi de fer

And is there anything that should not be done?

durant els dies de selectivitat, perquè

during the days of the entrance exams, because

són tres dies, dona una setmana, aquesta setmana

it's three days, give it a week, this week

crec que és dimarts, dimecres i dijous, no?, aquest any,

I think it's Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, right?, this year.

com per exemple posar-te a estudiar

for example, to sit down and study

aquella setmana, és millor deixar-ho apartat?

That week, is it better to put it aside?

S'ha de fer repàs d'última hora?

Do we need to do a last-minute review?

Pot fer que això ens obsessioni encara més?

Could it make us obsess over this even more?

És, sobretot, no s'ha de fer, i ara

It is, above all, something that should not be done, and now.

la gent que ens senti, sobretot els estudiants,

the people who hear us, especially the students,

diran, bueno, és

they will say, well, it is

estudiar, fer maratons

study, run marathons

d'estudi cada dia

of study every day

i, sobretot, no respectar els moments

and, above all, not respecting the moments

de descans,

of rest,

perquè això passa, també com amb l'esport,

because this happens, also like with sports,

que tan important és

how important it is

l'entrenament actiu

active training

com el descans, l'entrenament passiu,

with rest, passive training,

i amb els estudis passa exactament el mateix.

And the same happens with studies.

Ens trobem sovint amb persones

We often meet with people.

que justament es bloquegen

that are precisely blocked

perquè què passa? Que fan maratons,

because what is happening? They hold marathons,

maratons enormes d'estudi,

enormous marathons of studying,

no dormen el suficient,

they do not sleep enough,

no descansen, no es prenen,

they do not rest, they do not take.

en fi, moments de descans durant l'estudi,

well, moments of rest during study,

no mengen el que toca,

they don't eat what they should,

què passa? Que aleshores estàs llegint

What's happening? Are you reading then?

la teva lliçó i comences a

your lesson and you start to

no enterar-te del que estàs llegint.

not realizing what you are reading.

I aleshores què fas? Dius,

And then what do you do? You say,

ah, no, hauria de parar una estona a descansar?

Ah, no, should I stop for a while to rest?

No, el que dius és, oi, oi, oi,

No, what you're saying is, right, right, right,

això m'anirà fatal, m'he de concentrar encara més,

this is going to go horribly for me, I need to concentrate even more,

he d'estudiar encara més, perquè

he has to study even more, because

no se'm queda en el cap, etcètera.

I can't remember it, etcetera.

Amb la qual cosa, al final acabes

With which, in the end, you end up

amb un bloqueig enorme. Per tant, les hores

with a huge blockage. Therefore, the hours

de descans són tan, tan,

of rest are so, so,

tan importants com qualsevol altra cosa.

as important as anything else.

Una selectivitat és com una marató,

A selectivity is like a marathon,

no com una cursa de 100 metres,

not like a 100-meter race,

i per tant s'ha de preparar també com una marató.

And therefore it also has to be prepared for like a marathon.

No pots estar fent maratons

You can't be doing marathons.

cada dia, perquè si no, el dia de la competició

every day, because if not, on the day of the competition

arribaràs fos.

you will arrive dead.

Partim de que cada jove

We start from the premise that each young person

és diferent, és obvi, eh?

It's different, it's obvious, right?

Però si anem una mica als perfils, per exemple,

But if we go a little to the profiles, for example,

la Raquel ens explicava, la meva filla és molt

Raquel was explaining to us, my daughter is very

auto-oxigent, no?, i ara està molt irritable.

auto-oxygenating, right?, and now it's very irritable.

Amb un perfil més

With one more profile

d'estudiant auto-oxigent, com gestiona

of self-oxygenating student, how does it manage

això? No sé si s'ha de gestionar diferent,

this? I don't know if it needs to be managed differently,

per exemple, amb un que aparentment tingui

for example, with one that apparently has

l'aparença d'aquells que passa de tot, o que

the appearance of those who don't care about anything, or those who

li treu ferro a tot plegat,

he downplays the whole thing,

o algun que fins i tot

or someone who even

està més neguitós que els últims dies,

he is more restless than in recent days,

o se sent més insegur, tot i ser

or feels more insecure, even though being

una persona que normalment

a person who normally

mostra bastanta seguretat.

shows quite a bit of confidence.

Com tantegem cada un dels perfils?

How do we assess each of the profiles?

Clar, aquí és diferent

Of course, here it is different.

perquè amb una persona

because with a person

que és més aviat

what is earlier

de la seva vida,

of their life,

més aviat una mica deixada,

rather a bit unkempt,

doncs més aviat l'hauràs d'empenyar,

then you'll have to push it instead,

no?, i pressionar una mica perquè

"Right?, and press a little because"

s'hi posi. És bo, eh?, aquí, en aquest cas,

go ahead. It's good, isn't it?, here, in this case,

amb algú que, bueno... Sí, d'una

with someone who, well... Yes, from one

manera, diríem, de vegades potser no

way, we would say, sometimes maybe not

tan directa, però si indirecta,

so direct, but if indirect,

home, sí que has d'ajudar

man, yes you have to help

algú a posar-se les piles, no?

Someone needs to get moving, right?

Però, en canvi, una persona que és

But, on the other hand, a person who is

més aviat molt auto-oxigent o molt

rather very self-oxygenating or very

perfeccionista, tal vegada el que hauràs

perfectionist, perhaps what you will have

de fer és el contrari, justament, no?

To do is the opposite, precisely, isn't it?

És ajudar-la, justament, a frenar.

It is to help her, precisely, to brake.

Perquè passa com

Because it happens like

a moltes altres coses que

to many other things that

el ser perfeccionisme, perdó,

the being perfectionism, sorry,

el ser perfeccionista

the perfectionist being

és adequat fins a un cert punt,

it is appropriate up to a certain point,

a partir del qual

starting from which

ja no obtens un major benefici,

you no longer gain a greater benefit,

sinó que comences a complicar-te la vida.

but you start to complicate your life.

I el teu perfeccionisme, aleshores, com,

And your perfectionism, then, how,

per cert, m'ha semblat que deia aquesta mare,

By the way, it seemed to me that this mother was saying,

et genera inseguretat.

it generates insecurity.

Per què? Doncs perquè una persona

Why? Well, because a person

molt perfeccionista pot passar-se

very perfectionist can be excessive

tot el dia comprovant si allò que ha fet

all day checking if what he/she has done

és perfectament

it is perfectly

ben fet, no?

Well done, right?

I això no genera més

And this does not generate more.

seguretat, en genera una profunda inseguretat,

security, generates a profound insecurity,

en genera la sensació que nosaltres no som

In general, it gives the feeling that we are not.

capaços de fer les coses sempre al nivell

capable of doing things always at the level

de 10. Per tant, aquí

of 10. Therefore, here

la recomanació seria

the recommendation would be

si vols ser un

if you want to be a

bon perfeccionista de debò,

good perfectionist really,

el que has de fer és assumir que sempre hi haurà

what you have to do is accept that there will always be

una part d'error

a part of error

inevitable i segur

inevitable and certain

en tot el que facis. Per tant,

in everything you do. Therefore,

excepte aquesta part d'error, inclús

except this part of the error, even

inclou-la com una rutina diària

include it as a daily routine

en les teves tasques,

in your tasks,

perquè això et permetrà justament no caure

because this will allow you not to fall

en la paradoxa

in the paradox

que l'accés

that access

de control et faci acabar perdent

make you end up losing control

el control. I pot anar bé alguna tècnica

the control. Some technique might work well.

de relaxació, fer esport

relaxation, doing sports

per una mica alliberar o fer

to free up a bit or to do

una altra cosa després de l'examen, eh?

Another thing after the exam, okay?

No sé, anar-se'n al cinema, no sé si és el millor moment, eh?

I don't know, going to the cinema, I don't know if it's the best time, huh?

Però fer alguna cosa que no sigui

But do something that is not.

tornar a casa, posar-te a estudiar una altra

go home, start studying another

vegada, que com hem dit, potser no

perhaps not, as we said

cal, no? Fer una marató justament els dies de l'examen.

It's necessary, isn't it? To run a marathon right on the exam days.

Clar, totalment, totalment.

Of course, absolutely, absolutely.

Exacte. I de fet,

Exactly. And in fact,

de tècniques de relaxació n'hi ha, no?

There are relaxation techniques, aren't there?

El que passa és que les tècniques de relaxació

What happens is that the relaxation techniques

funcionen si el nivell d'ansietat

they work if the level of anxiety

és relativament baix,

it is relatively low,

no? I si la persona

No? And if the person

està ben entrenada per fer una tècnica

she is well trained to perform a technique

de relaxació. Si no, podem

of relaxation. If not, we can

tornar, amb el que dèiem abans,

returning, with what we said earlier,

podem tornar a la paradoxa que la persona intentant

we can return to the paradox that the person trying

relaxar-se es posi més neguitosa.

Relaxing makes one more anxious.

Per tant, una cosa que

Therefore, one thing that

paral·lelament, com tu deies, va molt

Parallely, as you said, it works a lot.

molt bé, és fer esport,

very well, it's about playing sports,

que per si és una activitat,

which in itself is an activity,

no? En la qual hi ha d'alguna

No? In which there has to be some.

manera ens hem de concentrar en el nostre

way we have to focus on our

físic, no? En la

physical, right? In the

respiració, en la cadència,

breath, in the cadence,

en fi, amb el to muscular,

well, with the muscle tone,

etcètera, i això ens ajuda a

etcetera, and this helps us to

despistar-nos d'altres coses,

distract us from other things,

i també al fer altres activitats

and also while doing other activities

com en el cinema, etcètera, etcètera, que són

like in the movies, etcetera, etcetera, which are

aspectes que segur que ens ajudaran

aspects that will surely help us

a despistar-nos

to distract us

per després poder tornar a connectar amb la

to later be able to reconnect with her

tasca, que és l'important.

task, which is what matters.

Passa la selectivitat i no s'ha aconseguit

He passed the entrance exams but has not succeeded.

el que es volia. Com encara

What was wanted. As still.

és aquí a nivell de pares i com

it's here at the level of parents and how

remuntes tota aquesta situació

overcome this whole situation

de futur, no?,

Of future, right?

de dir, a veure què passa a partir d'ara.

to say, let's see what happens from now on.

Clar, el fet

Sure, the fact

que no hagis aconseguit el que volies

that you haven't achieved what you wanted

ja implica,

already implies,

és a dir, hauríem d'intentar no arribar a això,

that is to say, we should try not to reach this,

hauríem d'intentar plantejar-me els nostres

we should try to present our ideas to me

fills i filles que sempre han de tenir

sons and daughters who must always have

un pla alternatiu, és a dir, tu no et pots

an alternative plan, that is to say, you cannot

jugar tot a una carta, no?

Bet everything on one card, right?

No hi ha un sol camí

There is not just one way.

per fer la teva vida,

to make your life,

per tant, dius, bueno, jo vull estudiar, m'encantaria

therefore, you say, well, I want to study, I would love to

estudiar Medicina, d'acord, però,

to study Medicine, okay, but,

dintre d'això, no?, quines altres

within this, right?, what other ones?

opcions hi ha?

What options are there?

Per tant, la primera

Therefore, the first

és aquesta, no?, donar més opcions,

it's this one, isn't it?, giving more options,

més plans, no podem tirar

more plans, we can't throw away

només a una carta. I la segona

only in a letter. And the second

és ajudar-los a entendre, també, que

it is to help them understand, too, that

tot i que tu tinguis un objectiu

even though you have a goal

a la vida, de vegades

in life, sometimes

el pots aconseguir per vies

you can obtain it through means

molt diferents, no?

very different, aren't they?

I l'altra, també, és

And the other one, too, is

donar context i ajudar-los a pensar

provide context and help them think

que a la vida no només hi ha l'objectiu

that in life there is not only the goal

professional, sinó l'objectiu final,

professional, but the ultimate goal,

el final de tothom nostre, és sentir-se

the end of everyone ours, is to feel

competent amb allò que fa,

competent in what it does,

sentir-se estimat i ser raonablement

to feel loved and to be reasonable

feliç, no? I això és bastant

Happy, right? And that's quite enough.

independent al final dels estudis que tu

independent at the end of the studies that you

facis, no? Ara, dit això,

you do, right? Now, having said that,

una altra cosa que hem de fer,

another thing we need to do,

i que ens costa molt, com a pares i com a

and it costs us a lot, as parents and as

societat en general,

society in general,

és dir-los, doncs mira, no et falta raó,

it is to tell them, so look, you are not wrong,

és una merda, això,

it's a piece of shit, this,

no? Que tu vulguis fer una cosa

No? That you want to do something.

i no la puguis fer, doncs

and you can't do it, then

fastidia molt. I hem de poder

it bothers a lot. We have to be able to

fer aquest acte de...

to perform this act of...

Sinceritat. De sinceritat i

Sincerity. Of sincerity and

d'acompanyar-los en

to accompany them in

una cosa que, de fet, tots

one thing that, in fact, everyone

anem descobrint al llarg dels anys, que és

we are discovering over the years, what it is

que no sempre tenim el que ens agradaria,

that we don't always have what we would like,

no? Bueno, i que el camí

No? Well, what about the way?

és molt llarg, no? I que es pot anar al final per

It's very long, isn't it? And can you go to the end for

diferents vies. Una última cosa que et volia

different ways. One last thing I wanted to

demanar és, hem estat parlant dels nervis que

asking is, we have been talking about the nerves that

generen un examen, en aquest cas concret de

they generate an exam, in this specific case of

selectivitat, certs nervis són

selectivity, certain nerves are

normals, com deies, en quin

normal, as you said, in which

moment això es pot tornar

at that moment this can be returned

patològic o problemàtic? Quan parlem

pathological or problematic? When do we talk?

ja d'un trastorn, d'angoixa,

already of a disorder, of anguish,

com es pot detectar?

How can it be detected?

Mira, sí, clar, aquesta és una bona

Look, yes, of course, this is a good one.

pregunta, no? Els nervis els tenim tothom.

Question, right? We all have nerves.

Quan hem de començar

When do we have to start?

a preocupar-nos, doncs, quan aquests nervis

to worry us, then, when these nerves

diríem, tenen una intensitat

we would say, they have an intensity

que impedeixen fer una vida normal,

that prevent living a normal life,

que es presenten

that are presented

d'una manera molt generalitzada,

in a very generalized way,

no només en un espai en particular,

not only in a particular space,

i quan a més persisteixen

and when they persist further

al llarg del temps. És a dir,

over time. That is,

tots podem passar una setmana

we can all spend a week

horrorosa, en què estiguis molt neguitós,

horrible, in which you are very anxious,

un dia que t'has posat molt ansiós,

a day when you got very anxious,

que has tingut pràcticament un atac

that you practically had an attack

d'ansietat o el que sigui. Però

of anxiety or whatever. But

quan nosaltres veiem que això és una cosa repetida,

when we see that this is a repeated thing,

que ens interfereix, que no ens permet

that interferes with us, that doesn't allow us

dormir bé,

sleep well,

que no ens permet desconnectar

that does not allow us to disconnect

i poder mirar una pel·lícula

and be able to watch a movie

sense estar pensant en no sé quina altra

without thinking about I don't know which other one

cosa, que a més a més això

thing, which also this

s'acumula en el temps i que

accumulates over time and that

és molt generalitzat, doncs aleshores

it is very widespread, then

és quan sí, hem de començar

it's when yes, we have to start

a pensar que alguna cosa se'ns està

to think that something is happening to us

anant de lloc.

going somewhere.

Molt bé, doncs moltíssimes gràcies

Very well, so thank you very much.

Roger per tenir-te aquí, per parlar,

Roger for having you here, to talk,

també donar consells a pares, mares,

also give advice to fathers, mothers,

als alumnes, els quals desitgem

to the students, whom we wish

moltíssima sort

very good luck

en aquesta propera setmana.

in this upcoming week.

Tranquil·litat, relaxació i sobretot que

Tranquility, relaxation, and above all that

no s'acaba el món, que hi ha moltes

the world is not ending, there are many

vies que ho entenem, que tots hem estat aquí,

ways that we understand it, that we have all been here,

totes hem passat per aquí. Al final

we've all been through here. In the end.

les coses s'acaben col·locant i potser no arribes

Things eventually fall into place, and maybe you won't arrive.

a aquella carrera desitjada, però arribes

to that desired race, but you arrive

a un altre lloc o d'una altra manera.

to another place or in another way.

Moltíssimes gràcies Elisabet Escritxe,

Thank you very much, Elisabet Escritxe.

per el tècnic Marc Moliner

for the technician Marc Moliner

i qui us parla, l'Araboni. I ens retrobem

And who speaks to you is Araboni. And we meet again.

d'aquí 15 dies al Ho faig com puc.

In 15 days I'll do it as I can.