鸣声语言培训中心家庭教育主持公益课第62讲

优优独播剧场——YoYo Television Series Exclusive

YoYo Television Series Exclusive

主持公益课

Hosting a public welfare class.

在这段时间里,美国威斯康星大学领长类研究所所长哈洛做了一个这样的实验。

During this time, Professor Harlow, the director of the Primate Research Institute at the University of Wisconsin, conducted such an experiment.

首先,哈洛找来了两个代理猴妈妈,一个代理妈妈是一只金属猴,她胸前安有一个奶瓶,而另一个是用软布做成的猴子模样的布偶,和真的猴子极为相似,但不安奶瓶。

First, Harlow brought in two surrogate monkey mothers. One surrogate mother was a metal monkey with a bottle affixed to her chest, while the other was a soft cloth doll resembling a monkey, very similar to a real monkey, but without the bottle.

接着,哈洛准备了两个笼子。

Next, Harlow prepared two cages.

第一个笼子,一个笼子里两个代理妈妈都在,金属的和布妈妈都在,而另一个笼子里只有金属妈妈在。

In the first cage, both surrogate mothers are present, the metal one and the cloth one, while in the other cage, only the metal mother is present.

然后,哈洛把刚刚出生不久的小猴子分别放到了两个笼子里,让代理妈妈养育它们。

Then, Harlow placed the newly born baby monkeys into two cages, allowing the surrogate mothers to raise them.

俗话说,有奶便是娘。

As the saying goes, "Where there is milk, there is a mother."

按照常理来说,小猴子应该和安有奶瓶的金属妈妈比较亲近才对。

According to common sense, the little monkey should be closer to the metal mother with the milk bottle.

然而事实上……

However, the fact is...

确实,却并非如此。

Indeed, but that is not the case.

小猴子对金属妈妈很冷淡,除了肚子饿的时候,几乎从来不接近它。

The little monkey is very cold towards Metal Mama, only approaching her when he's hungry.

而对布妈妈却显示出强烈的喜爱之情。

However, it shows a strong affection for Mama Bu.

平时,有事没事就喜欢紧紧地抱着它,尤其是在受到惊吓或者不安的时候,更是立刻奔到布妈妈的身边,死死地搂着它。

Usually, whether something happens or not, I like to hold it tightly, especially when I’m scared or anxious, I immediately run to Mom Bu's side and hold it tightly.

当小猴子下地玩耍的时候,

When the little monkey goes down to play,

如果突然放进一个自动玩具,小猴子吓得马上跑到布妈妈身边,然后开始观察。

If a toy suddenly pops up, the little monkey gets scared and immediately runs to its mother, then starts to observe.

不一会儿,就会下地试探接触,最后玩弄起那个玩具来。

Before long, they will go down to test and touch, eventually playing with that toy.

但是,在只有一个金属妈妈的笼子里生长起来的小猴子,会长时间地处于极端恐惧之中,一直躲在角落里,不敢去碰那个自动玩具。

However, the little monkey that grew up in a cage with only a metal mother would remain in extreme fear for a long time, hiding in the corner and not daring to touch the automatic toy.

这个实验说明,小猴子的心态很强烈。

This experiment shows that the little monkey's mindset is very strong.

小猴子的心态很强烈。

The little monkey's mindset is very strong.

小猴子对妈妈的依恋关系,并不在于有没有奶吃,而在于有没有柔软,温暖的接触。

The little monkey's attachment to its mother is not based on whether there is milk to drink, but on whether there is soft, warm contact.

在此基础上,哈洛又进行了一系列的实验,发现,由代理妈妈养育的小猴子,即使得到很好的照顾,生病和死亡率还是要高于由母猴哺育的小猴子。

On this basis, Harlow conducted a series of experiments and found that baby monkeys raised by surrogate mothers, even when well cared for, had higher illness and death rates than those raised by mother monkeys.

而由代理妈妈养大的小猴子们,长大后的行为,是很重要的。

The behavior of the little monkeys raised by surrogate mothers when they grow up is very important.

小猴子的心态都称不上正常,尤其是由金属妈妈单独养育的小猴子,情况更加糟糕。

The little monkey's mindset can't be considered normal, especially for those raised solely by metal mothers, the situation is even worse.

他们大都缺乏协调性,极端胆小和畏缩,而且具有很强的攻击性,对性的反应也很冷淡。

They mostly lack coordination, are extremely timid and fearful, yet exhibit strong aggression, and their responses to sex are also very indifferent.

其实,被金属妈妈养大的小猴子的行为特点,就是皮肤饥饿的一种表现。

In fact, the behavioral characteristics of the little monkeys raised by the metal mother are a manifestation of skin hunger.

小时候,很少得到父母的拥抱。

When I was young, I rarely received hugs from my parents.

亲密的孩子,长大后就会有一种潜在而又深刻的对他人的爱、关心和抚慰的渴望感。

Intimate children will later have a潜在而又深刻的 desire for love, care, and comfort for others.

如果这种感觉过于强烈,就会导致一种病态心理。

If this feeling is too strong, it can lead to a pathological mindset.

而这种心理对一个人的情绪平衡能力、自信心以及关爱别人的能力都会有很深远的消极影响。

This mindset can have a profound negative impact on a person's emotional balance, self-confidence, and ability to care for others.

因此,父母应该注意喂饱孩子们。

Therefore, parents should pay attention to feeding their children well.

比如,可以通过皮肤的直接接触,注视孩子时的眼神、表情,对着孩子说温柔的话语,轻轻地摇晃产生的韵律感等,来喂饱孩子饥饿的皮肤,让孩子感到父母的温暖和爱。

For example, children can be nourished by their hungry skin through direct contact with the skin, the gaze and expressions of their parents when looking at them, gentle words spoken to them, and the rhythmic feeling created by gentle rocking, allowing the children to feel their parents' warmth and love.

著名语言学家艾伯特·梅瑞宾经过多年的研究发现,

Renowned linguist Albert Merriam discovered after years of research that,

人与人之间的沟通有93%是通过皮肤的直接接触。

93% of communication between people is through direct skin contact.

人与人之间的沟通有93%是通过非语言沟通进行的,只有7%是通过语言沟通进行的。

93% of communication between people is conducted through non-verbal communication, while only 7% is conducted through verbal communication.

对于父母而言,利用非语言的形式与孩子沟通就包括,

For parents, communicating with their children in non-verbal forms includes...

在孩子做了好事或者取得了理想的成绩时,为了表示对孩子的喜爱和赞许,

When a child does good deeds or achieves ideal results, in order to express love and praise for the child,

不仅可以轻轻地摸索一下孩子的头,轻轻地拍一拍孩子的肩膀,还可以对孩子微微一笑。

You can not only gently touch the child's head and lightly pat the child's shoulder, but also give the child a slight smile.

如果孩子做错了,他会对孩子说,

If the child makes a mistake, he will say to the child,

如果孩子做错了事情或者是成绩不理想的时候,为了表示不满,

When a child does something wrong or their grades are not satisfactory, to express dissatisfaction,

可以用自己的眼神、眼睛沉默地向他指示一眼。

You can silently indicate to him with your gaze and eyes.

这些都是与孩子的非语言沟通。

These are all forms of non-verbal communication with children.

一位知名的育儿专家这样说过,

A well-known parenting expert once said,

如果你会用爱的语言教育孩子,不如给孩子一个关爱的眼神。

If you can educate your child using the language of love, it is better to give your child a caring gaze.

如果你会用关爱的眼神教育孩子,不如给孩子一个爱的微笑。

If you can educate your child with a caring gaze, it’s better to give them a loving smile.

如果你会用爱的微笑教育孩子,不如给孩子一个爱的拥抱。

If you can educate a child with a loving smile, it would be better to give the child a loving hug.

为了让孩子体会到父母对自己的爱,

In order for the child to feel the love of their parents.

父母应该学会使用动作、表情和姿态等非语言的表达方式,

Parents should learn to use non-verbal expressions such as actions, gestures, and postures.

特别是在孩子遇到困难和挫折的时候。

Especially when children encounter difficulties and setbacks.

这个时候,你可以轻拍孩子的肩膀以示安慰或鼓励,

At this time, you can gently pat the child's shoulder to offer comfort or encouragement.

亦可注视着孩子的眼睛,

You can also gaze into the child's eyes.

让孩子感受到你对他的支持。

Let the child feel your support for them.

好了,今天的家庭教育主持公益课到这里就结束了。

Alright, today's public course on family education comes to an end here.

感谢大家的陪伴与收听。

Thank you all for your companionship and listening.

如果您觉得今天的课程有收获的话,

If you found today's lesson beneficial,

可以让更多的家长加入我们。

We can let more parents join us.

今天就是这样,我们明天再见。

Today is like this, we will see each other again tomorrow.

感谢您的观看,我们下期再见。

Thank you for watching, see you next time.