148@再談親子關係-孩子是父母行為的翻版

请不吝点赞 订阅 转发 打赏支持明镜与点点栏目

Please don't hesitate to like, subscribe, share, and support Mirror and the Dot Dot program.

丙华好 听众朋友们大家好

Hello everyone, I'm Binghua.

好 第二位我们欢迎也是一样

Okay, let's welcome the second person in the same way.

海饼干花教育事业的顾问周志平

Zhou Zhiping, consultant for Haibingganhua's education事业.

周顾问

Advisor Zhou

丙华好 各位听众朋友大家好

Binghua here, hello to all the listeners.

好 那上次我跟我们办公室的朋友聊天

Okay, last time I was chatting with my friends at the office.

他说现在小子脾气都很不好

He said that the kid has a bad temper now.

很不好的时候

Very bad time.

是不是大人有关系

Is it related to adults?

大人脾气不好

Adults have a bad temper.

小朋友的脾气大概就不好

The child's temper is probably not good.

那这有没有相关联系

Is there any related connection?

我们请大树先分享一下

We'd like to ask Da Shu to share first.

是 丙华这个问题我个人非常的喜欢

I personally really like this question about Binghua.

从我们做教育训练的角度来看

From our perspective on educational training

这个话题大概可以

This topic is probably acceptable.

延续一百年到一千年

Continue for one hundred to one thousand years.

都会不断的去谈论

Will continuously talk about.

从我们角度来看

From our perspective

肯定父母亲的行为是一定影响孩子的

The behavior of parents definitely influences their children.

那刚刚好我在网络上看过两支影片

I just happened to have seen two videos online.

那跟丙华还有这个听众朋友们分享

That shares with Binghua and this audience friend.

也许你在网络上

Maybe you are online.

你曾经也看过这些影片

You have also seen these movies before.

就是说有一个大人

That is to say, there is an adult.

不管是爸爸或者是妈妈

Whether it's dad or mom.

然后后面跟着一个孩子

Then a child followed behind.

那么前面只要做什么

So what should we do next?

后面跟着说

Followed by saying.

他比如说前面的抽烟

For example, smoking in front of him.

他就跟着抽烟

He just kept smoking.

前面的喝饮料

Drinking beverages ahead.

他就跟着喝饮料

He just followed by drinking the beverage.

前面的乱丢纸屑

Littering paper scraps in front.

他就跟着乱丢纸屑

He just started throwing paper scraps around.

前面的人跟别人杀架

The person in front is fighting with someone else.

或者讨价还价

Or negotiate.

或者吵架

Or argue.

孩子就在后面也跟着发脾气吵架

The child is throwing a tantrum and arguing right behind.

所以他当然这个影片最后的用意

So of course he has the intention behind this film in the end.

就是说父母亲的行为

That is to say, the behavior of parents.

是肯定会影响孩子的

It will definitely affect the child.

这个影片我想有些观众朋友

I think some audience friends of this film.

或者听众朋友应该是有看过

Or the audience should have seen it.

那第二个影片是我最近才看到的

The second video is one that I just saw recently.

我觉得也挺有意思

I also think it's quite interesting.

他是用这样的一个叙述的方法

He uses such a narrative method.

就是说有个妈妈

It means there is a mom.

他是这样描述他的孩子

He describes his child like this.

他说我的孩子呢

He said, "Where is my child?"

喜欢恶作剧

Likes to play pranks.

还会假装要哭泣

Will also pretend to cry.

还有就是做事会有点小赖皮

Also, they might be a bit sneaky when doing things.

小撒娇

Little coquette

那种不负责任的感觉

That kind of irresponsible feeling.

他是这样描述他的孩子

He described his child like this.

那么这个影片进行到最后

Then this film goes to the end.

这个孩子有一天老师规定写作

One day, the teacher assigned writing to this child.

写说我的妈妈是一个什么样的人

Write about what kind of person my mother is.

就这孩子做

Let this child do it.

就说我的妈妈就是一个调皮捣蛋

Just say that my mom is a mischievous troublemaker.

会扮鬼脸

Can make funny faces.

会假哭

Pretending to cry.

然后会这个小小的恶作剧

Then there will be this little prank.

所以也就是换句话说

So in other words.

当妈妈在描述自己的孩子

When a mother is describing her child.

是这样个性的时候

It's a time of personality like this.

其实也是孩子在描述

Actually, it's the child who is describing it.

我妈妈是一个什么样的人

What kind of person is my mom?

但当然这两支影片

But of course, these two films.

其实都是为了表示

Actually, it’s all to express.

说父母亲的言传身教

Talking about the teachings and conduct of parents.

对孩子是绝对有关键的影响力

It has a decisive influence on children.

当然也可以提醒我们

Of course, it can also remind us.

如果我们希望孩子表现得更好

If we want our children to perform better.

首先我们大人得端正自己的行为

First, we adults must correct our behavior.

正所谓古人讲的上梁不正

As the ancients said, "if the upper beam is not straight."

下梁无外

The lower beam has no outside.

对那个以身作则

Lead by example.

那当然这个都种种的原因

Of course, there are various reasons for this.

就是我个人的观点是这样子

My personal view is like this.

好那这话题

Okay, let's talk about this topic.

这位兄弟你怎么看

What do you think about this brother?

是的我认为父母的行为

Yes, I believe the behavior of parents

肯定对小朋友

Definitely for the little ones.

他是有绝对关键性的一个影响

He has an absolutely critical influence.

但是我相信他还是会有

But I believe he will still have it.

特例的还是会有例外的

Exceptions will still occur in special cases.

因为我们经常也听到一些故事

Because we often hear some stories.

就是有些父母可能他的行为

Some parents may have behaviors that...

表现都没有那么好

The performance isn't that great.

可是他的小朋友却出奇

But his little friend is surprisingly...

特别的优秀

Especially outstanding.

可是也有相反的

But there are also the opposite.

也是有这样的状况

There are such situations as well.

所以我觉得他还是落在一个

So I think he still falls into a...

就是教育上

It is in education.

我觉得他是蛮重要的

I think he isquite important.

对这是我的一个想法

Yes, this is one of my ideas.

所以这个真的是

So this really is

为什么说三人行必有我是

Why do we say that among three people, at least one will have something to learn from me?

志平的这个提醒

Zhi Ping's reminder.

我相信听众朋友也是

I believe the audience is the same.

也许脑袋会有这样的疑惑

Perhaps the mind will have such doubts.

这个疑惑是什么呢

What is this doubt?

就父母亲都很优秀

Both parents are outstanding.

都很勤奋都很努力都很节俭

All are very diligent, very hardworking, and very frugal.

都很有礼貌

They are all very polite.

为什么他的孩子是这种懒惰的

Why is his child so lazy?

奢侈的无理的蛮横的

Luxurious, unreasonable, and arrogant.

这个反差会不会太大了

Isn't this contrast too big?

按理来说我们言传身教

In theory, we teach by example.

父母亲做得这么好

Parents are doing so well.

小孩子应该有样学样啊

Children should learn by example.

那我不知道听众朋友们有没有答案

Well, I don't know if the audience has the answer.

但从我个人的角度来看

But from my personal perspective

我是认为这个问题确实出在教育

I believe this issue indeed stems from education.

为什么呢

Why is that?

因为有时候父母亲

Because sometimes parents

太过于

Too much

为小孩子负责任

Be responsible for children.

所以他当然学不会节俭的

So he certainly won't learn to be frugal.

因为你要花什么钱

Because you have to spend money on something.

父母亲都有

Both parents have.

你不用学会节俭

You don't have to learn to be frugal.

我一切都是给你最好的

Everything I do is for your best.

你要节俭什么

What do you want to be frugal about?

然后再去说你犯错

Then go and say you made a mistake.

你不用负责啊

You don't have to take responsibility.

因为老爸老妈会替你负责

Because Dad and Mom will take responsibility for you.

你负什么责

What are you responsible for?

所以这就是刚才志平讲的

So this is what Zhiping just mentioned.

为什么说很优秀的父母

Why say very excellent parents?

也会出现不怎么样的孩子

There will also be some not-so-great children.

那反过来讲

That being said

那为什么有一些父母亲

So why are there some parents?

就是不不怎么样

It’s just not that great.

就例如说抽烟啊

For example, smoking, right?

喝酒啦

Let's drink!

赌博啦

Gambling.

这个吵架啦

This is arguing.

跟别人就做了不好的示范

Set a bad example by following others.

做了不好的行为

Engaged in bad behavior.

可是他的孩子

But his child

没有受他的父母亲影响

Not influenced by his parents.

反而去做一个好人

Instead, become a good person.

做一个有出息的人

Be a successful person.

那大家也会觉得

Then everyone will also feel that.

这个反差会不会太大

Isn't this contrast a bit too much?

他父母亲这么糟糕

His parents are so terrible.

给他这么糟糕的环境

Give him such a terrible environment.

为什么他就没有受这样的影响

Why has he not been affected in this way?

反而变成一个优秀的

Instead, it has become an excellent one.

对社会有贡献的人

People who contribute to society.

这个是不是听众朋友

Is this the audience, my friends?

也会觉得蛮有意思的

It can also be quite interesting.

关于第二个呢

What about the second one?

我先保留一下

I'll hold onto it for now.

我想问一下主持人

I would like to ask the host.

或者或者是志平

Or it might be Zhiping.

那为什么很糟糕的父母

So why are very bad parents?

却出来很优秀的孩子

However, they have managed to raise very outstanding children.

大家觉得发生了什么事

What does everyone think happened?

那为什么很糟糕的父母

Then why are very bad parents?

刚刚不是说有教育

Didn’t we just say there is education?

其实影响很大

In fact, it has a significant impact.

是不是跟教育也有些关系

Isn't it somewhat related to education?

跟还有其他方面的因素

There are also other factors involved.

你说你要说教育

You said you wanted to talk about education.

他的父母亲就不教育

His parents do not educate him.

因为他都抽烟喝酒赌博

Because he smokes, drinks, and gambles.

然后都玩乐圈

Then everyone is in the entertainment circle.

哪有空教育他的孩子

Where is there time to educate his children?

所以我认为

So I think.

我觉得可能

I think it might be.

我只是认为可能

I just think it's possible.

就是说

That is to say

这个小朋友在他成长过程中

This child during his growth process.

他选择了谁来影响他

He chose who would influence him.

就他身边有没有出现一个

Has anyone appeared beside him?

关怀他的人

The one who cares for him.

例如说遇到一个好的老师

For example, encountering a good teacher.

对或者是他的其他的

Or it could be his other ones.

比如说有些人说

For example, some people say.

我的奶奶

My grandmother.

我奶奶从小把我带大

My grandmother raised me since I was little.

然后他从他奶奶身上学到什么

Then what did he learn from his grandmother?

也许他父母

Perhaps his parents.

没有那么关怀他

Not that caring about him.

可是他从他奶奶身上

But he from his grandmother

学到了一些不错的

Learned some nice things.

为人处事的一些方式

Some ways of dealing with people and handling affairs.

我觉得就是关键是

I think the key is.

他选择谁来影响他

He chooses who to let influence him.

或者是在那个成长的过程

Or perhaps during that process of growth.

关键的时刻

Critical moment

谁出现了谁来影响他

Whoever appears will influence him.

那当然我猜

Of course, I guess.

可能跟慧根

It may be related to wisdom.

还是有一点关系

It still has a little connection.

就是说

That is to say.

对 你有没有那个

Yes, do you have that?

那个想法

That idea.

就是选择一个

Just choose one.

可以值得学习的长辈

Elders worth learning from.

或者是老师这样子

Or maybe it's the teacher like this.

是的

Yes.

我觉得跟志平

I feel with Zhiping.

还有比华在一块录节目

There is also Hua recording a show together.

总会得到一些惊喜

You will always get some surprises.

就是这些答案

These are the answers.

那我想说在这边

Then I want to say here.

我也提出一个

I will also put forward one.

当然听众朋友听起来

Of course, it sounds to the audience.

可能不会那么愉快的

It might not be so pleasant.

一种说法

A way of saying.

但我觉得他很有指导性

But I think he is very instructive.

他的意思大概就是说

What he means is probably that...

在美国

In the United States.

据说有一对双胞胎

It is said that there is a pair of twins.

然后呢

What then?

父亲是酒鬼

Father is an alcoholic.

妈妈是毒鬼

Mom is a drug addict.

还是妈妈是

Still, it is mom.

毒鬼

Poison Ghost

爸爸是酒鬼

Dad is a drunkard.

反正就类似像这样的家庭

Anyway, it's a family similar to this.

然后长大之后呢

And then what about growing up?

其中有一个人进了监牢

One of them was imprisoned.

然后另外一个人成为一个企业家

Then another person becomes an entrepreneur.

那这个事情是有一个记者

So this matter involves a reporter.

敏感度的发现说

The discovery of sensitivity says.

他们的家庭都是这么糟糕

Their families are all so terrible.

为什么两个孩子截然不同

Why are the two children so different?

那于是乎他就去问这个监牢的

So he went to ask the jailer.

这个孩子说

This child said.

你为什么今天会被关在监狱里面

Why are you locked up in prison today?

他说我没有选择

He said I have no choice.

你看我爸爸是酒鬼

You see, my dad is an alcoholic.

我妈妈是毒鬼

My mom is a drug addict.

然后呢

And then?

我这样这样换你长大

I change this way for you to grow up.

所以他们会的我都会

So what they can do, I can do too.

所以他们也被关

So they were also detained.

所以我也被关

So I was also locked up.

这不是很合理吗

Isn't this very reasonable?

他的答案就这样子

His answer is just like that.

记者哦好

Reporter, oh good.

那他就去问那个做得很好

Then he went to ask the one who did very well.

做事业做得很好

Doing very well in business.

说我可不可以请问你

Can I ask you something?

为什么你可以把事业做得这么好

Why are you able to excel in your career so much?

他说我没有办法

He said I have no way.

我没得选择

I have no choice.

你看我爸爸是酒鬼

You see, my dad is an alcoholic.

我妈妈是毒鬼

My mom is a drug addict.

我在那样的环境长大

I grew up in such an environment.

我有别的选择吗

Do I have other options?

我只能认真努力优秀

I can only work seriously and strive for excellence.

而且不能跟他们一样

And we can't be like them.

不能去过那样的悲惨人生

Cannot live such a tragic life.

那所以你看

So you see.

就是同样的家庭

It's the same family.

同样的父母

Same parents

但两个孩子的想法截然不同

But the two children's thoughts are completely different.

所以我想说

So I want to say

如果要说做结论的话

If we have to draw a conclusion.

就变成说

It becomes saying.

无论我们什么样的家庭

No matter what kind of family we have.

不要找理由

Don't make excuses.

不要找借口

Don't make excuses.

选择权永远在你

The choice is always yours.

看你决定过什么样的人生

See what kind of life you decide to live.

所以你刚刚讲的

So what you just said.

第二个例子就是说

The second example is that...

他成为企业家

He became an entrepreneur.

应该就是刚刚志平讲

It should be what Zhiping just mentioned.

他有慧根是不是

Does he have a gift for wisdom?

可以讲到慧根

Can talk about慧根.

他突然就是

He suddenly just is.

不从反的方向去做了

No longer doing it the opposite way.

因为他们两个的答案是一样的

Because their answers are the same.

是一样的

It's the same.

但结果是不一样的

But the result is different.

好那今天话题还是谈不完

Okay, today's topic still can't be finished.

没关系

It's okay.

更精彩的部分

The more exciting part.

我们下集继续再谈

We'll continue the discussion in the next episode.

那今天谢谢大叔教练的分享

Thank you to Uncle Coach for the sharing today.

好谢谢秉华

Okay, thank you, Binghua.

好谢谢志平的分享

Thank you for Zhiping's sharing.

谢谢秉华

Thank you, Binghua.

好别忘了继续收听

Don't forget to keep listening.

我们的优活谈心事

Our优活 shares heartfelt conversations.

拜拜了

Goodbye.

拜拜

Goodbye.