【情到龍匙】660 - 如何選擇對的人？

龙师傅教你

Master Long teaches you.

成功三大要素

Three key elements of success

天赋 知识 技能

Talent, knowledge, skills

做人最紧要有品

The most important thing in being a person is to have character.

只看视索

Only looking at the visual search.

理性谈情

Rational Love Talk

好运就借摸简单

Good luck lends itself to simplicity.

迎青 黑心蓝

Welcome, blue with a black heart.

等价交换

Equivalent exchange.

LAP LAP技巧

LAP LAP skills

一个讲感情技巧

A course on emotional skills.

人生方向的节目

Programs on the direction of life.

青岛龙师

Qingdao Longshi

欢迎大家来到青岛龙师

Welcome everyone to Qingdao Longshi.

我是龙振天

I am Long Zhentian.

大家好 我是特伦理神王基

Hello everyone, I am the God King of Special Ethics.

哈喽 我是Alpha

Hello, I am Alpha.

今集我们分享一些感情个案的话题

In this episode, we will share some topics about relationship cases.

从而带出我过去一路

Thus bringing out my journey in the past.

跟大家分享的感情技巧

Sharing emotional tips with everyone.

令大家温故知新

To help everyone review and learn anew.

又看看现在的状况

Take a look at the current situation again.

先说说题目

Let's talk about the topic first.

题目是如何选对的人

The topic is how to choose the right person.

选对对象经常强调是很重要的

Choosing the right partner is often emphasized as very important.

只不过大家理论就有在这里

It's just that everyone has their theories here.

也记得我经常提过

I also remember that I often mentioned.

但实际上的操作又是怎样

But how is the actual operation?

这次透过一个个案

Through this case.

我们就去分析一下

Let's analyze it.

请女神读出这个个案

Please, goddess, read out this case.

她说师傅你好

She said, "Hello, Master."

一直有看师傅的文章

I have always been reading Master’s articles.

经常研究名记

Regularly study famous journalists.

当中的规条

The rules among them.

最近就遇到这个感情问题

Recently encountered this relationship issue.

用照明记

Use lighting to remember.

很严谨

Very rigorous.

很严重

Very serious.

不知道自己怎样去选择

I don't know how to choose.

她现在有一个男朋友

She has a boyfriend now.

快要在一起了九个月

We will be together for nine months soon.

但是当中交往的过程里面

But during the process of interacting.

就有不少的摩擦

There are quite a few frictions.

所以想听一下师傅的意见

So I would like to hear the master's opinion.

她就先说一下两人的背景和价值

She will first talk about the backgrounds and values of the two people.

她就说不是我自夸

She said it's not that I'm bragging.

但是自问样貌都不差

But I can't help but think that my appearance is not bad.

她就说不是我自夸

She said it's not that I'm boasting.

自问样貌都不差

I ask myself, my looks are not bad.

身材不错

Good figure.

她真的这么说

She really said that.

身材也不错

The figure is quite good.

通常都是这样

It's usually like this.

一直有人接触

There have always been people in contact.

但是见到真人就打个六折

But seeing the real person is only a 60% discount.

她说有信任心

She said there is trust.

愿意不停去学习

Willing to keep learning.

性格又外向

Outgoing personality.

兴趣又广泛

Interests are also broad.

男朋友是怎样的

What is a boyfriend like?

男朋友就是很脾气

Boyfriends can be very temperamental.

扮善能力高

High ability to pretend to be good.

善于处理人际关系

Good at handling interpersonal relationships.

都是当初欣赏和选这个男生的原因

These are the reasons why I initially admired and chose this boy.

至于他的样子

As for his appearance.

衣着打扮

Dressing style

就算过得去

Just barely getting by.

首先就在投其所好上面

First of all, it is about catering to their preferences.

男友跟他的兴趣

Boyfriend and his interests.

都很大的落差

There is a significant gap.

很大的落差

A large gap.

男生就喜欢看动画

Boys just like watching cartoons.

打游戏

Playing games

但是懂得分寸

But knowing the right measure.

也不会荒废自己

I won't neglect myself either.

这点都是他欣赏他的地方

This is what he appreciates about him.

记得师傅说过要投其所好

I remember the master said to cater to their preferences.

因此都会不时主动

Therefore, they will occasionally take the initiative.

跟男生说

Talk to the boys.

我很想打游戏

I really want to play games.

不如一起

Why not together?

或者建议一起去看一些动画

Or suggest going to watch some animations together.

甚至电话男生说起一套

Even the guy on the phone said a whole set of excuses.

他不熟悉的电影

The movie he is not familiar with.

他都会即时维基

He can instantly check Wikipedia.

电影就会继续

The movie will continue.

这些都是我提供的方法

These are the methods I provided.

在这里就可以开始分享我的理论

Here is where I can start sharing my theory.

投其所好

Catering to someone's interests.

很重要的

Very important.

相类似

Similar

问一答十

One question, ten answers.

举一反三

Infer from one instance to others.

投其所好的意思是

The meaning of "投其所好" is to cater to someone's preferences or likes.

有很多东西

There are many things.

你要看你男朋友

You want to see your boyfriend.

他有兴趣哪一方面的东西

What aspects is he interested in?

有很多东西你未必会懂

There are many things you may not understand.

但是你仍然可以透过现代的科技

But you can still go through modern technology.

最简单是Google

The simplest is Google.

搜索一些关键词

Search for some keywords.

你其实是绝对可以

You can definitely do it.

可能一两分钟而已

It might just be one or two minutes.

你已经拿捏到重点

You have grasped the key point.

接着对到话题

Next, let's get to the topic.

日常

Daily

吸收新话题也不少

There are quite a few new topics being absorbed as well.

这个也是我经常鼓励大家

This is also something I often encourage everyone.

多看一些新闻

Read more news.

报纸 潮流的东西

Newspaper, a trendy thing.

我很注重这件事

I pay great attention to this matter.

我也这样在我的Patreon里面的discord

I also do this in my Patreon Discord.

我也开了一个每天话题给大家

I also started a daily topic for everyone.

当然有时候忙

Of course, there are times when I'm busy.

我未必update到那么多

I may not be able to update that much.

但我看到一些有用的东西

But I saw something useful.

我都会在里面分享

I will share inside.

你慢慢潜移默化

You gradually influence subtly.

看多一些这些

Look at more of these.

你慢慢的话题就会多

The more you talk slowly, the more topics you'll have.

令到女生很难受的是什么呢

What makes girls feel very uncomfortable?

反过来她男朋友就是不会这样做的

On the contrary, her boyfriend would never do that.

她男朋友会不会这样做

Will her boyfriend do this?

因为她会投其所好对男生

Because she knows how to cater to the preferences of boys.

但男生就不会投其所好对女生

But boys won't cater to girls' preferences.

所以她就觉得很难受

So she felt very uncomfortable.

那不会的

That won't happen.

譬如说你最喜欢逛街

For example, you like shopping the most.

做Facial

Do a facial.

她怎会投其所好

How could she pander to his preferences?

看哪间Facial便宜一点

Look for a cheaper facial treatment.

她继续说的

She continued speaking.

她自己喜欢摄影

She enjoys photography herself.

看书

Reading a book

写字

Writing

认购古诗词

Subscription of ancient poetry.

买东西

Shopping

当然购物

Of course, shopping.

但她说她其实都没有奢望男人经常陪伴她完成所有的事情

But she said she actually doesn't have the expectation for a man to accompany her all the time to complete everything.

她说但是一两次

She said, but only once or twice.

这样比较难

This is relatively difficult.

她说但是一两次都不会太过分吧

She said that one or two times shouldn't be too excessive, right?

但是然而以往提起

However, in the past when mentioned...

男生往往都会直接向女生表示

Boys often express their feelings directly to girls.

其实我对摄影真的没有兴趣

Actually, I'm really not interested in photography.

我很讨厌写字

I really hate writing.

看书很沉闷

Reading books is very dull.

对不起

I'm sorry.

不认识这些诗词

I don't recognize these poems.

然后就用一大堆

Then just use a bunch of.

但诗词真的比较难搞

But poetry is really quite difficult to handle.

你如果让我

If you let me

每次出来就去咖啡店打开

Every time I go out, I go to the coffee shop to open it.

唐诗三百首

Three Hundred Tang Poems

我们一起看看当中是怎样

Let's take a look together at how it is.

但她不止是诗词

But she is more than just poetry.

她中间还有

She still has in between.

譬如你有摄影

For example, you have photography.

写字

Writing

看书

Reading a book

那摄影看看你是什么摄影

Then the photography will see what kind of photography you are.

如果你说又要什么

If you say what else do you want.

不知道拍个日落

Don't know how to take a sunset photo.

那就要搞一天

Then it will take a whole day.

那些又未必每个人都对

Not everyone necessarily agrees with that.

所以其实可能说到最后

So in the end, it might be said that...

基本上就是因为她

Basically, it's because of her.

这里又回到我的理论

This brings us back to my theory.

开头你要找一个对的人

At the beginning, you need to find the right person.

你如果觉得这些兴趣

If you find these interests...

你是很重要的

You are very important.

你真的要想找回

Do you really want to retrieve it?

你开头你要了解对方

You need to understand the other person at the beginning.

是不是真的对这些有兴趣

Are you really interested in these?

但我从来我不觉得

But I never feel that way.

这些兴趣大家有差别

These interests vary among everyone.

会成为一个感情的阻碍

It will become an obstacle to emotions.

我又不觉得

I don't think so again.

因为你有你忙

Because you have your own things to be busy with.

我有我忙

I have my own things to do.

大家overlap的时候

When everyone overlaps.

有些共同话题

Some common topics.

聊聊便可以

Just chatting is fine.

我想她的位置

I want her position.

她的位置是觉得不对等

She feels that her position is unequal.

即是她觉得

That is what she feels.

我为你

I am here for you.

你喜欢打游戏

Do you like playing games?

我又会搜索哪些机

What other machines will I search for?

哪些戏

Which plays?

哪些漫画好看

Which comics are good to read?

那又回到最开头

That brings us back to the very beginning.

你要找对的对象

You need to find the right partner.

其实我觉得

Actually, I think that...

你爱她多些

You love her a bit more.

她爱你多些

She loves you a bit more.

自己又要问

I have to ask again.

不是

No.

我觉得是你要

I think it's you who needs to.

放回一个位置

Put it back in place.

就是你不是为了这个男人去做

It's just that you didn't do it for this man.

即是如果她

That is, if she

其实她之后

Actually, after her...

可能遇到不同的人

May encounter different people.

其实你不是去委屈

In fact, you're not going to feel wronged.

就变成行尸走运

It becomes a walking corpse.

你不是委屈自己去迎合对方

You are not compromising yourself to accommodate others.

她强行将自己没有兴趣的东西

She forcibly engages with things she is not interested in.

放出来

Let it go.

但其实我觉得

But actually, I think...

是应该你要

It should be you who wants it.

譬如你去做这些事的时候

For example, when you go to do these things.

你自己其实都有得益

You yourself have actually benefited.

你要想起你自己有得益

You need to remember that you have benefited.

原来我都知道

I actually already knew.

原来这些动漫是怎样

So how are these anime?

到你之后遇到其他人

After you, I will meet other people.

原来我都可以搭上两嘴

It turns out I can also join in a couple of conversations.

其实那个想法

Actually that idea

应该放在自己身上

Should be placed on oneself.

就不是放在

Just not placed in.

我为了你

I did it for you.

我就要这样做

I will do it this way.

就不是那个委屈的位置

It's just not that awkward position.

因为一放在这个位置

Because it is placed in this position.

就是真的委屈能量

It's really a feeling of grievance energy.

而且我觉得是

And I think it is.

那个期望的管理

The management of that expectation.

就是她过渡地

It's just that she transitions.

对这个人有期待而已

Just have expectations for this person.

其实某程度上

In fact, to some extent.

都是一个行为上的

It's all a matter of behavior.

一个勒索

A blackmail.

我愿意为你付出这么多

I am willing to give so much for you.

其实她暗自是期望

In fact, she secretly hopes.

如果你爱我

If you love me

你又要对我做回相等

You are going to do the same to me again.

但其实从那天开始

But actually, from that day onward

如果她不是有这个期望的时候

If she didn't have this expectation.

其实她做回自己要做的事

In fact, she should do what she wants to do.

她就不会这样了

She won't be like this anymore.

没错

That's right.

这里我听起来都能带出思考

Here, it sounds like I can bring out some thoughts.

就是开头她说那些动漫

It's just that at the beginning she mentioned those anime.

打游戏那些

Playing games and such.

根本就是她不喜欢的东西

It's simply something she doesn't like.

其实我也觉得她不需要

Actually, I also feel that she doesn't need it.

委屈自己去迎合这些

Betraying oneself to cater to these.

是

Yes

因为这样你到最后

Because of this, in the end you...

你还是找一个不适合的人

You still found someone unsuitable.

其实你勉强自己去喜欢一个你不适合的

In fact, you are forcing yourself to like something that does not suit you.

所以她后来就问了

So she asked later.

她说当然

She said, of course.

因为那个男生就说了一大堆的暗示

Because that boy gave a lot of hints.

就是说其实她真的不喜欢做这些东西

That is to say, she really doesn't like doing these things.

她说当然现在她也没有逼这个男生

She said that of course she is not forcing this guy now either.

继续陪她去做这些东西

Continue to accompany her to do these things.

因为她记得师傅说过

Because she remembered the master saying.

要认同你不认同的东西

To acknowledge things you do not agree with.

但是正正是很多兴趣都不投契

But precisely because many interests do not align.

埋下了这种纸

Buried this kind of paper.

就会经常在想

I often find myself thinking.

其实她是不是不适合我呢

Actually, is she not suitable for me?

她开始分回她的大前提

She began to distribute her major premise.

要看她对这些东西

I want to see her attitude towards these things.

她自己觉得重要吗

Does she feel important herself?

但是其实我觉得

But actually I think

如果她没有了这个要对等

If she no longer has this, it needs to be reciprocal.

又或者她不需要强迫自己去

Or maybe she doesn't need to force herself to.

去做一些自己不喜欢的东西

Go do something you don't like.

对

Correct.

那她就没有

Then she doesn't have it.

这个已经是冤不存在

This grievance no longer exists.

我刚才说

I just said.

如果你想着你自己是很委屈

If you think you are very wronged.

很强迫自己去做这些东西

I am forcing myself to do these things.

你是不会开心的

You will not be happy.

但是如果你的想法是

But if your idea is

原来我去找这些东西

It turns out I went to look for these things.

或者去寻找这些东西

Or go look for these things.

不是为了男生

Not for the boys.

而是为了我

But it's for me.

我以后可能遇到其他人

I may encounter other people in the future.

我都可以搭上两嘴的

I can join in the conversation as well.

那你为自己的时候

Then what about your own time?

你就不会有这个委屈位

You won't have this sense of grievance.

还有一段感情是不是真的一定要有共同兴趣

Is it really necessary to have common interests in a relationship?

也是另外一件事

It's another matter.

就是她可以自己很享受

She can enjoy it by herself.

有也不一定差

Having it doesn't necessarily mean it's bad.

所以其实也不是这样摆位

So it's actually not positioned like this.

她好像价值观错了

She seems to have the wrong values.

她就可能断章取义了

She might have taken it out of context.

她断章取义就是

She takes things out of context.

师傅教投其所好

The master teaches to cater to others' preferences.

我就要投其所好

I will cater to their preferences.

那你要看看那个好是什么

Then you need to see what that good is.

譬如说我不喜欢跳舞喝酒

For example, I don't like dancing and drinking.

那可能我认识了一个人

Then I might have met someone.

他就最喜欢跳舞喝酒

He loves to dance and drink the most.

那我委屈自己

Then I will wrong myself.

慢慢落disco

Slowly dropping disco.

喝杯 今生好来生

Have a drink; this life is good, and the next life will be too.

我都不对的

I'm all wrong.

那你就自己你要想

Then you just have to think for yourself.

你不会因为那个爱情

You won't because of that love.

而委屈了自己

And wronged oneself.

那她说其次在等价交换上

Then she said that secondly, regarding equivalent exchange.

有不少身边的人知道

Many people around me know.

女生和男生一起之后

After a girl and a boy are together.

纷纷都是感觉到差异的

Everyone is feeling the differences.

她说因为外表上的差距

She said it was because of the differences in appearance.

她说男朋友也表示

She said her boyfriend also expressed.

她不少的朋友都曾经问过这个男生

Many of her friends have asked about this boy.

究竟这个女生到底凭什么

What exactly does this girl have to rely on?

会选这个男生

Will choose this boy.

而她自己也有和朋友开玩笑问

And she herself also joked with her friends.

就是这个男生是不是

Is it this boy?

就是这个男生很养衰

It's just that this boy is very pampered.

是呀

Yes.

而她自己有些朋友

And she has some friends of her own.

都开玩笑这样问

It's all just a joke to ask like this.

她的男生是不是很有钱

Is her boyfriend very wealthy?

意思就是说

What it means is that...

这个女生是不是因为经济条件

Is this girl affected by economic conditions?

而选这个男生呢

And choosing this boy...

而这个女生就常常对于

And this girl often...

这个男生的打扮不满

This boy's outfit is not satisfactory.

亦都很希望这个男生

I also really hope this boy.

是跟随着她去改造形象

It is about following her to change her image.

那不行了

That's not acceptable.

她开始要变了管束

She is starting to change and impose restrictions.

开始变了一个老母

Started to become an old mother.

我觉得她会是这位

I think she will be the one.

哎呀你又怎样

Oh, what about you again?

洗了手先 洗了手先吃饭

Wash your hands first, then eat.

就来这些根本就不对

That's just completely wrong.

她出现了个嫌弃的位

She appeared with a look of disgust.

她硬是要

She insists on it.

其实她现在就是

Actually, she is like that now.

要选一个符合她内心形象的人

She wants to choose someone who matches her inner image.

去做男朋友而已

Just go be a boyfriend.

其实她都不是说

Actually, she didn't say anything.

真的喜欢这个人

Really like this person.

那好像是爱情

That seems like love.

比现实的需求大

Greater than the demands of reality.

她自己又是爱情

She herself is love.

可以蒙蔽了出来

Can be concealed and revealed.

我觉得她不是爱情

I don't think she is love.

如果去到这个位置

If you go to this position

她只不过想

She just wants.

说的是什么

What is being said?

想是有一个人

I think there is someone.

是符合她心目中的

It meets her expectations.

我就要改造理性

I want to transform reason.

她就不停

She just keeps on.

那她才觉得自己是

Then she finally felt that she was

怎么搞

What to do?

阿花姐出来了

Sister Ahua is out.

是

Yes.

大部分的女生

Most girls

有时候真的会跌到这个盲点

Sometimes you really can fall into this blind spot.

她不是完全接纳那个人

She does not fully accept that person.

就是这样就是这样

That's just the way it is.

她想着

She was thinking.

我怎样都可以改变她

I can change her in any way I want.

我要改造她

I want to transform her.

其实是没得改变的

Actually, there's nothing that can be changed.

其实就是看你适不适合

It actually depends on whether you are suitable or not.

适合就一起

If it fits, let's be together.

不适合就迁就

If it doesn't suit you, then make adjustments.

迁就不了就要分手

If you can't accommodate each other, then it's time to break up.

哇

Wow

我这三句话就说完了

I am done with these three sentences.

很厉害的关系

A very impressive relationship.

这里其实都带得出

Actually, everything can be brought out from here.

那个女生会觉得

That girl will feel.

哎呀我不嫌弃你

Oh, I don't mind you.

你现在是要根据我的方法去改

You need to change according to my method now.

就是有这个位置

It just has this position.

就是那个女生的心态

It's just that girl's mindset.

是

Yes.

而她的男朋友就很讨厌试衫

And her boyfriend really hates trying on clothes.

因此多次行动都是失败告终

Therefore, multiple actions ended in failure.

很累而已

Just very tired.

对

Correct.

想着你这样逼她

Thinking about how you are forcing her like this.

心很累

The heart is very tired.

她又想起师傅所说的

She recalled what her master had said.

不要改变男人的生活

Don't change a man's life.

和他的习惯

And his habits.

其实倾向于

In fact, tend to.

一开始要找对的对象

At the beginning, you need to find the right person.

没错

That's right.

她因此放弃了

She gave up because of this.

但是内心越来越失望

But deep down, I am becoming increasingly disappointed.

那她为什么会失望

Then why would she feel disappointed?

就是因为她大悅太大期望

It is precisely because her expectations are too high.

太幻想爱情是怎样

Too fantasize about what love is like.

第三

Third

她说在男友过去的历史

She said about her boyfriend's past history.

她说男友身处的圈子

She said the circle her boyfriend is in.

其实就是女性较多

Actually, there are more females.

因此身边是较多女性的朋友

Therefore, I have more female friends around me.

而我并不介意这一点

And I don't mind that.

她又来这一点

She's bringing this up again.

就是又来

Here it comes again.

我都不嫌弃你

I don't find you troublesome at all.

你应该要根据我的方法来改造

You should transform according to my method.

好像从她的来信文字

It seems from the text of her letter.

也看到她的潜意识

Also seeing her subconscious.

她的潜意识的控制

Her subconscious control.

还有她会觉得自己是高的男生

And she will feel that she is a tall guy.

其一

The first one.

其二我觉得她还要借着

Secondly, I think she still needs to borrow from...

又要委屈自己来控制男生

Once again, I'm going to have to put myself at a disadvantage to control the guy.

是的

Yes.

我都为你做了这么多事情

I've done so many things for you.

我都没什么了

I don't have much left.

然后她就自己受害了

Then she became a victim herself.

暗暗地受害

Secretly victimized.

这些是搞不定的

These cannot be dealt with.

她说我也不介意这一点

She said I don't mind this either.

但是我是很介意

But I do mind.

以往我的男朋友会经常

In the past, my boyfriend would often...

对很多女生曖昧的说话

Flirting with many girls.

哪怕他们只是普通朋友

Even if they are just ordinary friends.

例如在那些公开的社交平台的照片里面留言

For example, leaving comments on photos on those public social media platforms.

例如心心眼

For example, the third eye.

很漂亮

Very beautiful.

她说你在我心目中

She said you are in my heart.

然后就给个心心的Emoji

Then just give a heart emoji.

可不可以要你的电话

May I have your phone number?

这样还要和这个男生在一起

Do I still need to be with this guy?

对

Yes.

你嫌弃了这么多事情

You are dissatisfied with so many things.

好像不太对

It seems somewhat incorrect.

我觉得如果认真发展的人

I think that if a person develops seriously.

就一定不是这样

It definitely isn't like this.

对

Yes.

你要找一个对你专一的人

You need to find someone who is devoted to you.

很有趣

Very interesting.

她说这些事情是在一起不久后

She said these things happened shortly after they got together.

就由身边的共同的男性朋友

Just by the mutual male friends around.

就告诉她

Just tell her.

并指她是一个狗公

And pointed out that she is a male dog.

因为

Because

她身边那些男生的朋友

The boys' friends around her.

告诉这个女生

Tell this girl.

你看看你

Look at you.

应该是这样

It should be like this.

你看看你的儿子

Look at your son.

周围在别人的东西里

Surrounded by other people's things.

流这些说话

Flow these words.

那些男人说话

Those men are speaking.

你看看他也是一只狗公

Look at him, he's just a dog too.

因为这件事

Because of this matter.

其实她一直心里面是有刺的

Actually, she has always had a thorn in her heart.

狗狗都未能释怀

The dog still cannot let go.

而更因为多次的发脾气

And even more so because of the multiple outbursts of anger.

闹分手

Causing a breakup.

看她的手机

Look at her phone.

她是十分

She is very.

就是这个男生是十分介意的

This boy is very sensitive about it.

而这个心结

And this emotional knot.

她到现在还是仍然有的

She still has it until now.

也是导致她会去考虑

It is also one of the reasons why she would consider it.

这个人究竟合不合适的原因

The reason whether this person is suitable or not.

那不用听了

No need to listen to that.

听了这么大段话

After listening to such a long speech.

也很明显这个男生不适合你

It's also quite obvious that this guy is not suitable for you.

对

Correct.

性格也不适合

Personality is also not suitable.

其实一定不适合

Actually, it definitely is not suitable.

再发展下去

Further development.

我觉得就只剩自己辛苦

I feel like it's just me working hard.

男生可能根本都未定性

Boys may not have a definite orientation at all.

就是很普通的怕拖

It's just that I'm very ordinary and afraid of falling behind.

对

Yes.

她说在感情上

She said in terms of emotions.

男友就说

My boyfriend just said.

你一眼已经觉得女生很漂亮

You immediately think the girl is very beautiful.

加上彼此很谈得来

Moreover, we get along very well.

这又是男生说的话

This is something the boy said again.

对

Yes.

因此有我这个人作为女朋友

Therefore, I have this person as my girlfriend.

也是很高兴

Also very happy.

也是表示希望

It also expresses hope.

跟女生一起走下去

Walk down together with the girl.

直到一个月前

Until a month ago.

有一次男生在吵架的时候

One time when the boys were arguing.

就表示

It means.

觉得见到这个女生

I feel like I have met this girl.

都觉得很大压力

Everyone feels a lot of pressure.

很不想见到女生之后

I really don't want to see the girl afterwards.

很不想见到我后

I really don't want to see you again.

女生才开始担心这段感情起上来

Girls only start to worry about this relationship once it begins.

她说一直以来

She said all along.

其实男生就是很迁就很容忍她

In fact, boys are very accommodating and tolerant of her.

也是愿意花钱在她身上

Also willing to spend money on her.

这就是一开始的事情

This is how things began.

其实去到感情稳定期三个月之后

In fact, after reaching a stable phase in a relationship for three months,

就看到了

I just saw it.

她说以往吵架的时候

She said that in the past when they argued

男生都会哄回她

Boys will always coax her back.

所以希望师傅去分析一下

So I hope the master can analyze it.

究竟这段关系的未来是怎样

What is the future of this relationship?

也想从师傅的建议

I also want to learn from the master's advice.

看看有没有什么改变

Let's see if there are any changes.

改善状况的可能性

Possibility of improving the situation

虽然上面就说了很多她的缺点

Although many of her shortcomings have been mentioned above.

但是我的心都是

But my heart is all...

还是一点爱她的

Still love her a little.

希望跟她一起走下去

I hope to walk with her together.

我觉得她教清楚

I think she teaches clearly.

她是不是真的爱这个男生

Does she really love this boy?

爱这个男生

Love this boy.

也未必代表这个男生适合她

It doesn't necessarily mean that this boy is suitable for her.

爱这个男生

Love this boy.

也未必代表可以走下去

It doesn't necessarily mean that one can continue on.

那也是

That is also the case.

相爱也不等于相处

Loving each other doesn't mean being able to get along.

我觉得是不是她真的爱这个男生

I wonder if she really loves this guy.

还是她爱她心目中想的那个男生

She still loves the boy she imagines in her mind.

其实是两样东西

In fact, they are two different things.

她的爱好像是一些爱情荷尔蒙

Her love seems like some kind of love hormone.

她只不过是爱她心目中

She only loves her in her mind.

所塑造出来的那个男人

The man that was created.

但这个男人永远都成为不了

But this man can never become.

你心目中的那个男人

The man you have in mind.

因为她最大的问题

Because her biggest problem

她找一个不对的对象

She is looking for the wrong partner.

然后强迫这个男生去做

Then force this boy to do it.

她心目中想要做的东西

Things she wants to do in her mind.

所以我都明白这个男生

So I understand this boy completely.

是会很大压力的

It will be very stressful.

因为经常

Because often

我见到你

I see you.

你就想改造我

You just want to transform me.

谁会喜欢被人改造

Who would like to be transformed by others?

也是

Also.

而且我已经说得很明白

And I have already made it very clear.

你听了

Did you hear?

你不要假装奇怪

Don't pretend to be strange.

然后又发脾气

Then throw a tantrum again.

我也就你了

I'm sticking with you.

我也没说话

I didn't say anything either.

兴趣又不对

The interest is not right.

然后又开始入侵她生活上的细节

Then it started to invade the details of her life.

刚才有一幕又说什么去买衣服

Just now, there was a scene where they talked about going to buy clothes.

好像很嫌弃她

Seems to really dislike her.

见到她的男朋友

Met her boyfriend.

哎呀你这么骯髒

Oh my, you are so dirty.

过来吧

Come here.

换个黑衣

Change into black clothes.

你换过这些衣服

You have changed these clothes.

你给那个男生的感觉不好

You give that boy a bad impression.

这些位置真的搞不定

These positions are really difficult to handle.

你唯有自己接受她

You can only accept her yourself.

这个就是她的形象

This is her image.

她真的对

She is really right.

应该是这样说

It should be said like this.

如果你真的

If you really

真的说到

Really speaking

你自己这么爱这个男人

You love this man so much yourself.

你是应该要接受她这件事

You should accept this about her.

就不是你想着去改造

It's not about you wanting to change it.

她成为你心目之中

She has become in your mind.

理想的那个男人

The ideal man.

或者就是我们经常以前都说的

Or maybe it's something we often used to say.

就是你不能这样

You just can't do that.

好像我有个朋友也是这样

It seems that I have a friend who is the same way.

她男朋友每次出来都穿

Her boyfriend wears something every time he goes out.

他看着她的时候

When he looks at her

他已经觉得

He already feels.

大哥你不会穿成个叔叔

Big brother, you can't dress like an uncle.

但是呢

But then

你不能这样批评男生

You can't criticize boys like that.

为什么会穿成这样

Why are you dressed like this?

你最多就是

You are at most...

偶尔间你就和他一起去买衣服

Occasionally, you go shopping for clothes with him.

或者你赞他

Or you praise him.

你穿这个风格

You wear this style.

我觉得很好看

I think it looks great.

买衣服给个意见

Give me some advice on buying clothes.

我觉得可以

I think it’s okay.

那男生自然而然

That boy naturally...

他都会

He can do it all.

就是你不断赞他

It's just that you keep praising him.

他都觉得你喜欢我穿这些

He thinks you like me wearing these.

那他又不妨

Then he might as well.

也可能不会花费很多

It may not cost much either.

那他可能也有机会会改一下

Then he might have the chance to change it a bit.

但是就不是以一个

But it's not in a way that...

如果他不改

If he doesn't change.

就会嫌弃那个位置

Will be picky about that position.

因为那个男生

Because of that boy.

他有他自己想法

He has his own thoughts.

是啊

Yeah.

那这个女生最大的问题

So the biggest problem with this girl is...

她就是觉得那些东西对

She just feels that those things are right.

然后就做

Then just do it.

很多人的人生都是这样

Many people's lives are like this.

整个人生就错了

The entire life has gone wrong.

结果

Result

她似乎是输打赢要

She seems to be someone who prefers to win regardless of the process.

她什么都要合乎她内心的位置

She wants everything to align with her inner place.

然后她就会不停

Then she will keep on.

那些觉得不好的

Those who feel it's not good.

就是你不配我

It's just that you are not worthy of me.

或者怎样

Or how about it?

其实放错了那些重点位

Actually, the important points were misplaced.

那我反过来会找一个

Then I will find one in return.

可以匹配到你的一起

Can match with you together.

但是她又反过来这么说

But she said it like this in return.

她还没找到这个

She hasn't found this yet.

匹配到她的一起的原因

The reason for matching with her.

就因为很大的程度上

Just because to a large extent.

就是她找到这个人

It's just that she found this person.

她就是觉得有一个容易控制到

She just feels that there is someone easy to control.

没错

That's right.

调转

Transfer

她又觉得她manage到他

She feels that she can manage him again.

没错

That's right.

是不是

Is it?

那所以这些都值得大家去想

So these are all worth considering for everyone.

那一集过

That episode has passed.

重温我的那些理论

Revisit my theories.

我还是强调最重要理念

I still emphasize the most important concept.

你一开始你对象错了

You initially had the wrong partner.

你其实到最后

You actually end up in the end.

你是走不下去的

You can't keep going.

你是永远得不到结果的

You will never get results.

因为她看了她的那些不好的位置

Because she looked at her bad positions.

放大了不好的那些位置

Enlarged the undesirable areas.

然后就是觉得

Then I just feel

她其实根本上没有接纳到

She hasn't really accepted it at all.

然后她就觉得

Then she felt.

我自己很委屈

I feel very wronged.

我已经遷就了你了

I have already accommodated you.

那我反而想

Then I actually want to think.

其实这个女生有什么男生

In fact, what does this girl have with any boy?

才会适合她呢

Only then will it be suitable for her.

假设吧

Let's assume.

有一些什么兴趣

What interests do you have?

那个东西适合

That thing is suitable.

那她可能有别的东西

Then she might have something else.

她又觉得不适合

She feels it's not suitable again.

因为她不断挑人家那些不好的位置

Because she keeps picking on people's bad spots.

没配合到自己

Did not cooperate with oneself.

所以自己的性格要改变了

So my personality needs to change.

其实她心目中的那个形象

In fact, that image she has in her mind.

可能是太过完美

It might be too perfect.

但这个世界上没有一个完美的人

But there is no perfect person in this world.

去符合到你心目中之中

Go to align with what is in your heart.

那个所谓完美的

The so-called perfect.

就是硬是有些东西

There are just some things.

她又可以拿出来批评

She can criticize it again.

挑剔

Picky

是的

Yes

还有我想她最大的那个位置

And I also want her to be in the biggest position.

就是很用力去拍这个拖

It's just putting a lot of effort into this relationship.

她就是很用力

She is just very determined.

很用力拍这个拖

Very hard to establish this relationship.

很累啊真的

I'm really tired.

很用力

Very forcefully.

我说为你做这些

I said I would do these things for you.

那你又不是为了我

Then you are not doing it for me.

然后我说要很努力地

Then I said I need to work very hard.

在人前维持你的形象

Maintain your image in front of others.

应该就是不努力

It should be just not working hard.

顺其自然

Go with the flow.

然后看看大家一起舒不舒服

Then see if everyone is comfortable together.

是的

Yes.

不用很激情

No need to be very passionate.

我经常都说的

I often say this.

走一步走一步

Take a step, take a step.

这样就走了几十年了

It's been like this for decades.

是的

Yes.

应该要这样去想

You should think this way.

就多过

Just more.

哇我今天什么都不做

Wow, I am not doing anything today.

我要讨好你

I want to please you.

然后自己在那里怪责自己

Then blame myself for it there.

其实那些投其所好

In fact, those who cater to others' preferences

抱怨对方

Complaining about the other party.

如果你真的喜欢那个人

If you really like that person.

其实你很发自内心

Actually, you are very genuine from the heart.

你是好奇的

You are curious.

你是想知道的

You want to know.

而你不会觉得

But you won't feel it.

我特别的

I am special.

为了配合你

In order to cooperate with you.

做一些东西出来的感觉

The feeling of creating something.

是的

Yes.

正常如果你爱那个人

Normally, if you love that person.

你其实就算不要说爱

You actually don't need to say love.

你正常对一个人有好奇心

You normally have curiosity about a person.

你看到他这么喜欢这些

You see how much he likes these.

你也想去看看

Do you also want to go take a look?

为什么他会喜欢呢

Why would he like it?

是的

Yes.

自己也要想想

You also need to think for yourself.

是不是自己的价值观

Is it your own values?

或者自己情绪出现问题

Or there might be a problem with one's own emotions.

我有部分的客人也是这样

I have some guests like this as well.

他就很努力做很多东西

He works very hard on many things.

但是这些东西

But these things

又未必是一个男生想要的东西

It may not necessarily be something a boy wants.

而他觉得自己付出很多

But he feels that he has given a lot.

例如这个情况

For example, this situation.

他很努力

He works very hard.

又帮男生选衣服

Helping the boy choose clothes again.

又很有心思

Also very thoughtful.

提议他很多东西

Propose many things to him.

他就觉得为那个男生付出很多

He feels like he has put in a lot for that boy.

但是是不是由这个男生欣赏的东西

But is it something that this boy appreciates?

我听起来就绝对不是

It definitely doesn't sound like me.

相反会令这个男生觉得很烦

On the contrary, it would make this boy feel very annoyed.

反过来

On the contrary.

你不如不要做这些东西好过

It's better for you not to do these things.

其实他男生只是想打击

Actually, he just wants to bring the boy down.

没什么

It's nothing.

是的

Yes.

你可能让他选单单

You might let him choose alone.

你有他

You have him.

当他小朋友

When he was a little friend.

还是怎样

Or how?

反而大家可能又生活愉快

On the contrary, everyone might be living happily again.

但又没有特别的问题

But there aren't any particular issues.

他不可以任由他打击

He cannot be allowed to be attacked freely.

他又觉得不可以这样

He felt that it shouldn't be like this again.

打击体动盲

Strike body move blind.

那自己又要想

Then one has to think again.

是不是适合的人

Is it the right person?

如果一开始找一个不适合的人

If you start by finding someone who is not suitable.

就走不下去了

Just can't go on anymore.

我最后小分享

I'll share a little at the end.

很多集之前我讲过一次

I mentioned it once many episodes ago.

就是关于自己付出

It's about what you give.

有很多女生

There are many girls.

尤其感性女人

Especially emotional women.

她就经常自己觉得为对方付出很多

She often feels that she has put in a lot for the other person.

但是你的付出

But your efforts

真正的付出

True dedication.

就是你的付出是得到对方所欣赏的

It's just that your efforts are appreciated by the other party.

这些才叫真正的付出

This is what true dedication looks like.

有很多人就不明白这个道理

Many people just don't understand this principle.

之前有位客人

There was a guest before.

两公婆

The couple.

总之她情绪到了

In short, her emotions reached a peak.

她就要发洩

She is about to vent.

很热

It's very hot.

老公OT

Husband is working overtime.

听不到电话

Can't hear the phone.

就辞了下班

Just quit my job.

本来就约不知道在家里

Originally, I didn't know you were at home.

还是怎样

Or what?

接着可能在楼下吃饭

Then we might have a meal downstairs.

但是她回到家里楼下

But she returned to the downstairs of her home.

那时候是33度 34度

At that time, it was 33 degrees, 34 degrees.

她老公辞了下班

Her husband quit his job.

她明知她老公是OT

She knows very well that her husband is an OT.

听不到她的电话

I can't hear her phone call.

你回家那么热

It's so hot when you get home.

你回家洗个澡

You go home and take a shower.

等老公回来

Wait for my husband to come back.

下楼下吃饭

Go downstairs to eat.

她不是

She is not.

她去了家里的后巷

She went to the backyard of the house.

就更加热

Even hotter.

那个体感

That sensation.

去到36度

Reach 36 degrees.

然后生气自己在那里酝酿

Then get angry and stew about it there.

全身汗

Sweating all over.

全身湿透了

Soaked all over.

等了一个小时

Waited for an hour.

那为什么她要等呢?

Then why does she wait?

她就要发洩

She is about to vent.

她就要执着偏激

She is just going to be stubborn and extreme.

她执着偏激

She is persistent and extremist.

因为她上去就没气了

Because she didn't have any breath left after going up.

跟着就没气了

Then there was no more breath.

她就要搞自己很热

She is going to make herself very hot.

然后她回家

Then she went home.

你干什么?你傻了吗?

What are you doing? Are you stupid?

然后她在楼下

Then she is downstairs.

我为你付出了这么多

I have given so much for you.

我在楼下等了你一个小时

I waited for you downstairs for an hour.

那你自己想吧

Then you can think for yourself.

这些是混家喊的

These are called by mixed families.

我觉得你要欣赏我的付出

I think you should appreciate my contributions.

做人不要这样

Don't be this way as a person.

这些不是我自己作出来的

These are not created by me.

这些是发生的真人真事

These are real stories that have happened.

所以譬如这个情况

So for example, this situation.

或者你现在在听

Or you are listening now.

你也要想想

You should think about it too.

我为她付出了很多

I have sacrificed a lot for her.

你付出了什么?

What have you given?

你付出的东西对方是否欣赏?

Does the other party appreciate what you have given?

对方有没有说明

Did the other party provide any explanation?

你不要做这些

You shouldn't do these things.

你不要搞

Don't mess around.

你真的不要搞

You really shouldn't mess around.

不是的

No.

你喜欢的

What you like.

你不要这样

Don't do that.

你要想想

You need to think about it.

你现在又说爱心足

You are now saying that there is enough love.

爱心足很多

There is a lot of love.

很多集之前

Many episodes ago.

几年前

A few years ago

她喜欢说爱心足

She likes to say she has a big heart.

是的

Yes

所以这些

So these

我觉得都是值得大家思考

I think it's worth everyone's consideration.

我的patreon很好

My Patreon is great.

每天有一条片

Every day there is a video.

我就是不停给你这些灵感

I just keep giving you these inspirations.

去帮助你人生感情工作各方面

To help with your life, relationships, work, and all aspects.

是如何去思考

How to think.

是

Yes

好吗

Okay?

好

Good.

节目到这里差不多了

That's about it for the program.

我们下个星期同样时间再见

Let's meet again at the same time next week.

拜拜

Goodbye

喂

Hello.

怎么

How?

是呀

Yes.

节目做完了

The program is finished.

噢

Oh

你想找龙师傅看一生运程吗

Do you want to seek Master Long's advice on your life fortune?

找他?

Looking for him?

很简单而已

It's just very simple.

请你记下以下所需号码

Please note down the following required numbers.

82040102

82040102

又或者email去 infoatmasters.com.hk

Alternatively, email to [email protected].

留意

Pay attention.

masters是有s的

"Masters" has an "s."

耶 女神

Yeah, goddess.

如果大家想找你

If everyone wants to find you.

又怎样

So what?

如果想找我看塔罗的话

If you want to find me to read tarot.

你可以打

You can hit.

好,希望可以很快见到你啦

Okay, I hope to see you soon!

下一集《情到龙时》再见

See you in the next episode of "When Love Meets the Dragon."

再见

Goodbye

字幕志愿者 杨茜茜

Subtitle Volunteer Yang Qianqian