#14: Conquer Self-Sabotage: Practical Tips from Psychologist Vassia Sarantopoulou

Jessica Scheper

Soulpreneur Club

#14: Conquer Self-Sabotage: Practical Tips from Psychologist Vassia Sarantopoulou

Soulpreneur Club

Hi, I'm Jessica Scheper, writer, yoga teacher, content marketer and multi-passionate entrepreneur.

Hi, I'm Jessica Scheper, writer, yoga teacher, content marketer, and multi-passionate entrepreneur.

My mission is to help people find their inner peace, rekindle their creativity and become the truest version of themselves.

My mission is to help people find their inner peace, rekindle their creativity, and become the truest version of themselves.

Are you a purpose-driven entrepreneur who wants to overcome your fears, grow your confidence and your business?

Are you a purpose-driven entrepreneur who wants to overcome your fears, grow your confidence, and your business?

Then you've come to the right place. Let's get started.

Then you've come to the right place. Let's get started.

Vastia Sarantopoulou

Vastia Sarantopoulou

Entrepreneurial spirit and many good ideas. Let's find out.

Entrepreneurial spirit and many good ideas. Let's find out.

I've been living in the Netherlands the last 10 years and I have founded my own business here.

I have been living in the Netherlands for the past 10 years and I have founded my own business here.

Because the circumstances, of course, they were very fertile and I loved all these environments, these entrepreneurship opportunities around me.

Because the circumstances, of course, were very fertile and I loved all these environments, these entrepreneurship opportunities around me.

So what I do, I'm a psychologist. I started as a solo practitioner.

So wat ik doe, ik ben een psycholoog. Ik begon als een zelfstandige praktiserende.

Supporting people with...

Supporting people with...

...their mental health, people who were struggling with anxiety, depression, negative thinking, burnout or relationship issues and trauma and grief.

...their mental health, people who were struggling with anxiety, depression, negative thinking, burnout, or relationship issues and trauma and grief.

But eventually, I figured out that besides my therapist personality, I also have another personality which is more of the business entrepreneur personality.

Maar uiteindelijk kwam ik erachter dat ik naast mijn therapeutpersoonlijkheid ook een andere persoonlijkheid heb, die meer die van een zakelijke ondernemer is.

So ideas about growth and expanding kept coming to me.

So ideas about growth and expansion kept coming to me.

So then my next step was...

So then my next step was...

...to expand my practice, which is now a practice of 16, 17 psychologists working together with me.

...to expand my practice, which is now a practice of 16, 17 psychologists working together with me.

Another idea was to start giving workshops, which started as, you know, in-person workshops.

Een ander idee was om workshops te beginnen, wat begon als, je weet wel, persoonlijke workshops.

But now I have already created an academy with online courses on mental health.

But now I have already created an academy with online courses on mental health.

So I keep expanding, you know, and this journey always takes me somewhere else.

So I keep expanding, you know, and this journey always takes me somewhere else.

And as I also shared with you in the email...

And as I also shared with you in the email...

...I'm writing now my first book on perfectionism and changing this negative, stressful, self-sabotaging mindset.

...I'm currently writing my first book on perfectionism and changing this negative, stressful, self-sabotaging mindset.

So I always, you know, produce ideas and I'm so restless and I want to do more.

So I always, you know, produce ideas and I'm so restless and I want to do more.

Which is, of course, the challenge of keeping a balance between the therapist, the entrepreneur, but also the personal life.

Which is, of course, the challenge of maintaining a balance between the therapist, the entrepreneur, and personal life as well.

Yes, yes, I can relate a lot to that.

Yes, yes, I can relate a lot to that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that is really, really awesome that you do that all and that you're writing your first book.

But that is really, really awesome that you do all that and that you're writing your first book.

When do you think you'll finish it and publish it?

When do you think you will finish it and publish it?

Well, according to the plan we have together with my mentor, I think it will be published spring 24.

Well, according to the plan we have together with my mentor, I think it will be published spring 24.

It will be out.

Het zal uitkomen.

Yes.

Yes.

Hopefully.

Hopelijk.

Yes, yes.

Yes, yes.

Well, I'm looking forward to it very much.

Well, I'm looking forward to it very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I already have one sale.

I already have one sale.

That's yours.

Dat is van jou.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nice.

Nice.

And so let's just jump right in because I'm also really curious about, like, the topic imposter syndrome and, you know, and the negative self-talk and everything.

And so let's just jump right in because I'm also really curious about the topic of imposter syndrome and, you know, the negative self-talk and everything.

Is there something that you notice yourself in, for example, writing a book?

Is there something you recognize in yourself, for example, in writing a book?

Or...

Or...

Every, like, new creative endeavor that you have that you find yourself fighting against, like, some thoughts or dealing with those doubts and stuff.

Every new creative endeavor that you have that you find yourself fighting against, like, some thoughts or dealing with those doubts and stuff.

And how do you manage that?

And how do you manage that?

Wow, that's a good question.

Wow, dat is een goede vraag.

So there is this binary force which is driving me all the time outside of my comfort zone.

So there is this binary force that is constantly pushing me outside of my comfort zone.

As I said before, I'm restless.

As I said before, I'm restless.

I want to do more.

I want to do more.

I have so many ideas.

I have so many ideas.

But at the same time, this restlessness becomes also my worst enemy.

Maar tegelijk wordt deze onrust ook mijn ergste vijand.

Because I keep, you know, opening a lot of projects.

Omdat ik blijf, je weet wel, veel projecten openen.

And it takes a lot of my energy.

And it takes a lot of my energy.

I want to be perfect in all of them.

I want to be perfect in all of them.

I want to, you know, involve as many people.

I want to, you know, involve as many people.

There's a lot of admin behind them.

There's a lot of admin behind them.

So that's also what challenges.

So that's also what challenges.

It challenges my own self-esteem, you know.

It challenges my own self-esteem, you know.

Because when you're putting all your effort.

Omdat wanneer je al je moeite doet.

But then there's so many things happening at the same time.

Maar dan gebeuren er zoveel dingen tegelijkertijd.

In your dark days, in your worst days, you will go back to yourself and challenge yourself and doubt about yourself.

In your dark days, in your worst days, you will return to yourself and challenge yourself and doubt yourself.

Maybe the reason why it's not working, is it me?

Maybe the reason why it's not working is me?

So I keep challenging myself.

So I keep challenging myself.

And what helps me?

And what helps me?

When I go there and I have a lot of negative thoughts or perfectionistic thoughts about myself.

When I go there and I have a lot of negative thoughts or perfectionistic thoughts about myself.

I'm not perfect.

I'm not perfect.

I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough.

I'm not going to make it.

I'm not going to make it.

I'm afraid.

Ik ben bang.

What I do is I try to take distance from these thoughts.

What I do is I try to distance myself from these thoughts.

Not to engage with these thoughts.

Not to engage with these thoughts.

Not to perceive them as the ultimate truth.

Not to perceive them as the ultimate truth.

But just to take some distance.

But just to take some distance.

So this is what I'm thinking.

Dus dit is wat ik denk.

And it doesn't mean that this is true.

And it doesn't mean that this is true.

This is what my mind.

This is what my mind.

This mind is telling me at this moment of challenge.

Deze geest vertelt me op dit moment van uitdaging.

So I try to take the distance to observe these thoughts.

So I try to take a step back to observe these thoughts.

I also try to embrace my fears.

I also try to embrace my fears.

You know, like, yeah, I get it.

You know, like, yeah, I understand.

Today you're scared.

Vandaag ben je bang.

Or I get it.

Or I get it.

Today you're disappointed.

Vandaag ben je teleurgesteld.

Okay, that's going to be the day of disappointment.

Okay, dat gaat de dag van teleurstelling worden.

We don't need to be happy clappy all the time.

We don't need to be happy-go-lucky all the time.

We don't need to be celebrating every single day.

We hoeven niet elke dag te vieren.

There's going to be many days when we will be faced with fears and negative emotions.

There will be many days when we will be confronted with fears and negative emotions.

Okay.

Okay.

So I try to embrace it without pushing myself to feel something else or to or to be in a constant positive state of mind.

So I try to embrace it without pushing myself to feel something different or to be in a constant positive state of mind.

And also what I do is try to reframe these negative thoughts, negative beliefs, not necessarily as an invalidation.

And also what I do is try to reframe these negative thoughts, negative beliefs, not necessarily as an invalidation.

So if I say, for example, well, probably you're not going to make it.

So if I say, for example, well, probably you're not going to make it.

Probably this is too difficult for you or other people are, you know, more successful.

Probably this is too difficult for you or other people are, you know, more successful.

I don't want to completely invalidate myself and say, no, you are the best or no, you are very successful.

I don't want to completely invalidate myself and say, no, you are the best or no, you are very successful.

I validate.

I validate.

But at the same time, I also try to see the big picture.

But at the same time, I also try to see the bigger picture.

Yes.

Yes.

Maybe you feel like you failed today.

Maybe you feel like you failed today.

But look at the big picture.

Maar kijk naar het grote geheel.

You have also succeeded.

You have also succeeded.

You have also had days of accomplishment and days of achievement instead of just being stuck in this specific day of, you know.

You have also had days of accomplishment and days of achievement instead of just being stuck in this specific day of, you know.

Doomness and darkness.

Doomness and darkness.

Yes.

Yes.

That is really, really beautiful.

That is really, really beautiful.

And I think that's super important as well.

And I think that's super important as well.

Like, it's okay to not feel okay for a day or a bit longer.

Like, it's okay to not feel okay for a day or a bit longer.

You know, like we can't be on the top of our games like all the time.

You know, it's like we can't be at the top of our game all the time.

And especially, I think as women, like we have our cycles as well.

En vooral, denk ik dat we als vrouwen ook onze cycli hebben.

And so I don't know if you are, you know, like.

And so I don't know if you are, you know, like.

of je je maand planneert volgens je cyclus.

if you plan your month according to your cycle.

Maar ik vind dat de energielevels fluctueren.

But I find that the energy levels fluctuate.

En ook niet alleen de energielevels, maar ook je vertrouwen.

And not just your energy levels, but also your confidence.

Je kunt niet echt doorbreken.

You can't really break through.

Tenminste, dat vind ik zo.

At least, that's what I think.

Zonder dat het uitbreidt.

Without it expanding.

Dat is 100% correct.

That is 100% correct.

En niet alleen de cyclus.

And not just the cycle.

Maar ook elke andere gezondheidsissue die we kunnen bevinden.

But also any other health issue that we may encounter.

Zodat we de ruimte nemen waar we een migratie hebben.

So that we take the space where we have a migration.

Zodat we een andere dag hebben.

So that we have another day.

Niet een 100% productieve dag.

Not a 100% productive day.

Waar we een bloedprobleem hebben.

Where we have a blood problem.

Of elke andere gezondheidsissue.

Or any other health issue.

Want dat betreft onze concentratie.

Because of that, our concentration.

Onze herinnering.

Our memory.

Onze functionering.

Our functioning.

Onze lichaam.

Our body.

Dat betreft alles.

That concerns everything.

Dus we moeten onszelf een dag of twee laten hebben.

So we need to give ourselves a day or two.

Zelfs als we zeggen dat dit slechte dagen zijn.

Even if we say that these are bad days.

Het is ok.

It's okay.

We kunnen deze dagen hebben.

We can have these days.

We zijn geen robot.

We are not a robot.

Wat ik me ervan herinner is dat het een slechte dag is.

What I remember is that it is a bad day.

En niet een slechte leven.

And not a bad life.

Het feit dat ik vandaag iets negatiefs heb.

The fact that I have something negative today.

Dat betekent niet dat ik dat altijd heb.

That doesn't mean I always have that.

In mijn hele leven.

In my entire life.

Of als ik problemen heb met mijn sociale media.

Or if I have problems with my social media.

Met mijn engagement.

With my commitment.

Met mijn visibiliteit.

With my visibility.

Met mijn verkiezingen vandaag.

With my elections today.

Het betekent niet dat het altijd zo zal zijn.

It doesn't mean that it will always be like this.

Het is een slechte dag.

It's a bad day.

Maar niet een slechte leven.

But not a bad life.

Of niet een slechte carrière.

Not a bad career.

Ja.

Yes.

Heel mooi gezegd.

Very nicely said.

Hoewel ik je sociale media heb gekeken natuurlijk.

Although I have of course looked at your social media.

En ik bedoel.

And I mean.

Dat bloot mijn gedachten.

That exposes my thoughts.

Je bent heel goed opgelegd op sociale media.

You are very skilled on social media.

Wel gedaan.

Well done.

Dankjewel.

Thank you.

Ik doe mijn best.

I am doing my best.

Het is.

It is.

Ik ken niet veel van het sociaal media.

I don't know much about social media.

Ik moet de rol veel meer herinneren.

I need to remember the role much more.

Maar ik probeer.

But I'm trying.

Ja.

Yes.

Je werkt met een team?

Do you work with a team?

Of heb je het gedaan, alleen voor jezelf?

Or did you do it just for yourself?

Ik heb een team nu.

I have a team now.

Die ik werkt met.

That I work with.

Maar het is geen agent.

But it's not an agent.

Het zijn mensen.

They are people.

Jullie weten.

You know.

Die me helpen met het posten.

Help me with posting.

Het maken van de post.

Making the post.

Als je een hoog kritiek hebt.

If you have high criticism.

Ben je goede met je eigen mensen.

Are you good with your own people?

En dat kun je.

And you can do that.

Nou.

Well.

Dit was heel mooi.

This was very beautiful.

Ja.

Yes.

Heel mooi gedaan.

Very nicely done.

Ja.

Yes.

Heel mooi gedaan.

Very nicely done.

Doe je.

Do it.

Dat kijk we갬R op.

We will look at that.

creating the posts and the carousels and, you know, editing the reels and the videos.

creating the posts and the carousels and, you know, editing the reels and the videos.

But it's more like a collaboration.

Maar het is meer als een samenwerking.

I train them, I help them.

I train them, I help them.

And also they train me back, you know, figure out the strategy together,

And also they train me back, you know, figure out the strategy together,

making sure that our brand messages are clear.

making sure that our brand messages are clear.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, that's really cool, actually.

Yeah, dat is eigenlijk echt gaaf.

And I think that's a necessary step as well as you want to, like, develop yourself as an entrepreneur.

And I think that's a necessary step if you want to, like, develop yourself as an entrepreneur.

Start creating, like, a team and collaborations and stuff.

Start creating, like, a team and collaborations and stuff.

So, and what other things do you do to kind of, like, well, put yourself not necessarily out of your comfort zone,

So, and what other things do you do to kind of, like, well, put yourself not necessarily out of your comfort zone?

but?

but?

To deal with those thoughts and obstacles, because I think a team helps.

To deal with those thoughts and obstacles, because I believe a team helps.

But, for example, I find meditation or relaxation is super, super important as well.

But, for example, I find meditation or relaxation to be super, super important as well.

Do you meditate as well?

Do you meditate as well?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I have a routine where in the morning I do my best not to check first thing.

I have a routine where in the morning I do my best not to check first thing.

In the morning, my phone.

In the morning, my phone.

So I don't do that, because if I check my phone, already I'm in the work mode.

So I don't do that, because if I check my phone, I am already in work mode.

So I try first to have 15 minutes of yoga.

So I first try to have 15 minutes of yoga.

Just a little bit, just 15 minutes.

Just a little bit, just 15 minutes.

Because sometimes you listen, you know, like you have to do two hours training or one hour training in the morning.

Because sometimes you listen, you know, like you have to do two hours of training or one hour of training in the morning.

But especially for people that they don't have, you know, all this time in their hands.

Maar vooral voor mensen die, je weet wel, niet al deze tijd in handen hebben.

And we want to be really imperfect.

And we want to be really imperfect.

And allow imperfection and be mindful.

And allow imperfection and be mindful.

Just 15 minutes or 10 minutes will do.

Just 15 minutes or 10 minutes will do.

So I start with that.

So I start with that.

And the mindset work that I'm doing is I'm, while I'm doing all this morning routine,

And the mindset work that I'm doing is, while I'm doing all this morning routine,

I repeat myself that I'm not going to push myself into work.

I keep repeating that I'm not going to push myself into work.

I'm not going to stress myself first thing in the morning.

I'm not going to stress myself first thing in the morning.

So everything that I do in the morning will be.

So everything that I do in the morning will be.

In this mindful state of mind.

In this mindful state of mind.

So I do my yoga and I'm going to take my time.

So I do my yoga and I'm going to take my time.

I'm going to make my breakfast and I'm going to take my time.

I'm going to make my breakfast and I'm going to take my time.

And I'm going to eat it mindfully on the table or on the couch.

And I'm going to eat it mindfully at the table or on the couch.

But without checking my phone, without working or eating breakfast in front of the laptop screen.

Maar zonder mijn telefoon te controleren, zonder te werken of ontbijten voor het laptopscherm.

So whatever I do, even this is 30 or 40 minutes.

So whatever I do, even this is 30 or 40 minutes.

They need to be mindful so that then my.

They need to be mindful so that then my.

Brain starts fully energized in the morning.

Brain starts fully energized in the morning.

Another thing that helps me, of course, as you said, you know, mindfulness.

Another thing that helps me, of course, as you said, you know, mindfulness.

I do it as often as I can.

I do it as often as I can.

But also what I do is.

Maar ook wat ik doe is.

I, I try to be in nature as much as possible.

I, I try to be in nature as much as possible.

Recently we decided with my partner to move houses.

Recently, my partner and I decided to move houses.

So when we were on the lookout for a new house, our first priority was to be very close to nature.

So when we were looking for a new house, our top priority was to be very close to nature.

I want to.

I want to.

Look out of the window and see trees.

Look out of the window and see trees.

I want to, you know, have the window open and listen to the chirping of the birds.

I want to, you know, have the window open and listen to the chirping of the birds.

So I want to be in a part of nature because this this is something that really comes me down, especially when I have very busy days and very stressful days.

So I want to be in a part of nature because this really calms me down, especially when I have very busy and very stressful days.

And being in nature also helps me change the brain chemistry in, you know, in in my body.

And being in nature also helps me change the brain chemistry in, you know, in my body.

So what happens?

So what happens?

I will give you an example.

I will give you an example.

I remember one day that I had a lot of work and I said, I'm going to work also after dinner because this is so important and I have to finish it.

I remember one day that I had a lot of work and I said, I'm going to work after dinner as well because this is so important and I have to finish it.

So my brain was on this fight or flight mode.

So my brain was in this fight or flight mode.

Everything is important.

Everything is important.

It's a matter of life, a matter of life or death.

Het is een kwestie van leven, een kwestie van leven of dood.

So then I said, OK, you know what?

So then I said, OK, you know what?

Yes, you're going to work.

Yes, you are going to work.

But first, just take a take a walk, you know, outside of the house.

Maar eerst, ga gewoon even wandelen, weet je, buiten het huis.

And.

And.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Maybe go to the park and then come back and then you will go back to work.

Maybe go to the park and then come back and then you will go back to work.

OK, let's do that.

OK, laten we dat doen.

So I go out and I have a walk and somewhere while walking.

So I go outside and I take a walk and somewhere while walking.

Something changed in my brain and I and I thought, like, wait a minute, I don't need to come back to work.

Iemand veranderde iets in mijn hoofd en ik dacht, wacht even, ik hoef niet terug naar mijn werk.

Nobody will notice.

Niemand zal het opmerken.

Nobody will know if I don't finish it tonight.

Niemand zal het weten als ik het vanavond niet afkrijg.

No disaster will happen if I don't end what I'm writing.

No disaster will happen if I don't finish what I'm writing.

Tonight is just me putting this pressure on myself and I didn't notice until the point where I took the break and I went out and I removed myself from this stressful situation.

Tonight is just me putting this pressure on myself, and I didn't notice until the moment I took a break and went out to remove myself from this stressful situation.

And then again, I saw the big picture.

And then again, I saw the big picture.

So sometimes taking these mindful breaks, actually, it's it's saving a lot of energy and it's saving us from from stress that we don't need.

So sometimes taking these mindful breaks actually saves a lot of energy and spares us from unnecessary stress.

Yes, I think that's that's super.

Yes, I think that's super.

Funny as well.

Funny as well.

The story and I think it's also because stress actually increases the negative self-talk because your brain tries to kind of protect you and keep you in your comfort bubble and, you know, keeps you safe and stuff because you're in in like survival motives and you have to protect, you know, yourself.

The story, and I think it’s also because stress actually increases the negative self-talk because your brain tries to protect you and keep you in your comfort bubble and, you know, keeps you safe and stuff because you’re in survival mode and you have to protect, you know, yourself.

So that's why relaxation and just tuning out is so important.

So that's why relaxation and just tuning out is so important.

But tuning out.

Maar afstemmen.

In in a good way.

In a good way.

I mean, Netflix usually sometimes it's nice, like, you know, if you really need to kind of have a break.

I mean, Netflix is usually nice sometimes, like, you know, if you really need to take a break.

But yeah, other ways are a little bit more beneficial.

Maar ja, andere manieren zijn een beetje voordeliger.

Usually I find.

Usually I find.

Is there anything that kind of is preventing you from from taking the next step?

Is there anything that is kind of preventing you from taking the next step?

Or is there any like.

Or is there something like that?

Blockage or barrier that you are dealing with right now?

Blockage or barrier that you are dealing with right now?

Probably you are what I'm thinking when you're saying something that prevents you from taking the next step.

Waarschijnlijk ben jij wat ik denk als je iets zegt dat je ervan weerhoudt de volgende stap te zetten.

Probably you're waiting for me to say something like a barrier.

Probably you're waiting for me to say something like a barrier.

But I think for me, what what I what I do is I I consciously prevent myself from taking the next step.

Maar ik denk dat ik, wat ik doe, bewust voorkom dat ik de volgende stap zet.

And it's related.

And it's related.

To what I said before, me being restless, I always want to take the next step.

To what I said before, me being restless, I always want to take the next step.

So not taking the next step is actually good for me.

So not taking the next step is actually good for me.

It's a way for me to not overdo it, to not burn myself out.

It's a way for me to not overdo it, to not burn myself out.

So sometimes taking it slowly, especially with people who are, you know, very ambitious or they have this, you know, inner pressure.

So soms het langzaam aan doen, vooral met mensen die, je weet wel, zeer ambitieus zijn of die deze, je weet wel, innerlijke druk hebben.

Or they want to take it slowly.

Or they want to take it slow.

And they want to achieve all the time.

And they want to achieve all the time.

A.K.A.

A.K.A.

Perfectionists.

Perfectionists.

They're not taking the next step and being more mindful instead of being restless.

They are not taking the next step and being more mindful instead of being restless.

It's it's what helps.

It's what helps.

I in my academy, I have a course about self-sabotage.

I have a course about self-sabotage in my academy.

And I explain a lot of ways that we sabotage ourselves.

And I explain a lot of ways that we sabotage ourselves.

And one of them is what I said before, the being restless and be wanting to be involved in as many projects as possible.

And one of them is what I said before, being restless and wanting to be involved in as many projects as possible.

And before you complete one, you start another.

And before you finish one, you start another.

So I'm I'm aware of my weakness.

So I’m aware of my weakness.

I want to be, you know, I want to be involved in many projects.

I want to be, you know, I want to be involved in many projects.

So me not taking the next step is actually the antidote of being restless.

So my not taking the next step is actually the antidote to being restless.

Yeah, that's that's a very good tip, actually.

Yeah, dat is eigenlijk een heel goede tip.

And especially if you are like a multi passionate and but I don't know if it's the multi passionate thing.

And especially if you are like multi-passionate, but I don't know if it's the multi-passionate thing.

Or it's just.

Or it's just.

Like the new shiny object thing that like, you know, you have a new idea and it's like super motivating and, you know, it's motivating in the beginning.

Like the new shiny object thing that, you know, you have a new idea and it's like super motivating and, you know, it's motivating in the beginning.

And then it's kind of like, oh, it becomes a bit hard and it becomes a struggle because it's new and you have to build, you know, it takes time to build stuff up.

En dan is het een beetje zoals, oh, het wordt een beetje moeilijk en het wordt een strijd omdat het nieuw is en je moet het opbouwen, weet je, het kost tijd om dingen op te bouwen.

So and then a new idea pops in.

So then a new idea comes up.

And so you start working on that.

And so you start working on that.

Yeah, I have been there.

Yeah, ik ben daar geweest.

I'm still I am still there, but I'm also trying to work on it.

I'm still there, but I'm also trying to work on it.

And just finish things, you know.

And just finish things, you know.

Yeah, it is tempting because it gives you this adrenaline rush when you go to the next thing, to the next shiny object.

Yeah, it is tempting because it gives you this adrenaline rush when you go to the next thing, to the next shiny object.

Of course, it's it's very tempting.

Of course, it's very tempting.

But exactly as you say, you know, sometimes it's just a way to avoid the challenges of what doesn't work or when something gets challenging or difficult or we don't know or we go deeper.

Maar precies zoals je zegt, weet je, soms is het gewoon een manier om de uitdagingen te vermijden van wat niet werkt of wanneer iets uitdagend of moeilijk wordt of we het niet weten of we dieper gaan.

We prefer to go to something else which seems easier or more motivating than rather than staying with the discomfort of what we're doing now.

We prefer to move on to something else that seems easier or more motivating rather than staying with the discomfort of what we're doing now.

So, yeah, working, working on that, of course, it's it's not easy, but understanding and being aware of what is this shiny object syndrome and why we're doing it and why we want to start all these different projects is key here.

So, yeah, working, working on that, of course, it's not easy, but understanding and being aware of what this shiny object syndrome is and why we're doing it and why we want to start all these different projects is key here.

Yes, yes, totally.

Yes, yes, totally.

And so is that would that be your your biggest lesson that you want you would like to share with other entrepreneurs, for example, or is there another lesson that you have learned in your journey that you want to share?

And so would that be your biggest lesson that you would like to share with other entrepreneurs, for example, or is there another lesson you have learned in your journey that you want to share?

I think, yeah, being mindful and taking it one step at a time is a very valuable lesson.

I think, yes, being mindful and taking it one step at a time is a very valuable lesson.

I keep.

I keep.

Remembering what my coach used to tell me in the beginning of our collaboration.

Remembering what my coach used to tell me at the beginning of our collaboration.

She used to tell me that before you said something on the right track and it works on the autopilot, don't go to the next thing.

She used to tell me that before you say something that is on the right track and works on autopilot, don't move on to the next thing.

First, you have to set a very stable foundation for something.

First, you have to set a very stable foundation for something.

You don't need to see it, you know, skyrocketing, but just set the right foundation.

You don't need to see it skyrocketing, you know, just set the right foundation.

Make sure that it works, you know, well, and then you can repeat the same formula to any other thing that you want to start.

Make sure that it works, you know, well, and then you can repeat the same formula for anything else you want to start.

But first, one thing at a time.

Maar eerst, één ding tegelijk.

So I think that's a very valuable lesson for me.

So I think that's a very valuable lesson for me.

And then the other thing that I also learned and I didn't practice in the beginning, unfortunately, but that's also a lesson learned is ask for help.

And then the other thing that I also learned, and I didn't practice it in the beginning, unfortunately, but that's also a lesson learned, is to ask for help.

In the beginning, we think, yeah.

In the beginning, we think, yeah.

You resonate with that.

You resonate with that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

In the beginning, we feel like, oh, I can do it.

In het begin voelen we ons van, oh, ik kan het.

You know, you know, it's fine.

You know, you know, it's fine.

I'm going to figure it out by myself.

Ik ga het zelf uitzoeken.

But then again, we end up reinventing the wheel and having a lot of lessons to be learned.

Maar dan weer eindigen we met het heruitvinden van het wiel en hebben we veel lessen te leren.

While in reality, we could have prevented that from happening or we could have done it faster or somebody else who has been there before.

While in reality, we could have prevented that from happening or we could have done it faster or somebody else who has been there before.

They could have shared.

They could have shared.

They could have shared the wisdom with us.

They could have shared the wisdom with us.

And then we could have done it in a much easier way.

And then we could have done it in a much easier way.

We don't need to do everything the hard way.

We hoeven niet alles op de moeilijke manier te doen.

So I think that's another lesson for me.

So I think that's another lesson for me.

Like, just ask for help.

Just ask for help.

You know, it's OK.

You know, it's OK.

You know, you don't need to, you know, wait for the trophy of I've done it everything by myself.

You know, you don't need to, you know, wait for the trophy of having done it all by yourself.

You don't need that.

You don't need that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a that's a nice trophy to have, though.

Dat is toch een mooie trofee om te hebben.

But no, you're absolutely right.

Maar nee, je hebt helemaal gelijk.

But what's the price to pay?

Maar wat is de prijs die je moet betalen?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, ja.

It's a huge price.

It's a huge price.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mental health.

Mental health.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, precies.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So, so cool talking to you.

So, so cool to talk to you.

And I want to check out your website.

And I want to check out your website.

What would be your website and social media, your best social media?

What would be your website and social media, your best social media?

So they can find my website at antiloneliness.com.

So they can find my website at antiloneliness.com.

antiloneliness.com.

antiloneliness.com.

And they're going to find a lot of information about myself.

And they're going to find a lot of information about me.

They're going to find a lot of information about my services, about my team, a whole section with my blog articles on mental health, perfectionism, anxiety, relationship issues.

They're going to find a lot of information about my services, about my team, a whole section with my blog articles on mental health, perfectionism, anxiety, and relationship issues.

And also they're going to see my YouTube channel there where I share more content on mental health and relationships.

And also they're going to see my YouTube channel there where I share more content on mental health and relationships.

And also if you are active on social media, I am on Instagram, again, at antiloneliness and LinkedIn and Facebook.

And also if you are active on social media, I am on Instagram, again, at antiloneliness and LinkedIn and Facebook.

Very, very, like, grateful for...

Very, very, like, grateful for...

Thank you for this conversation.

Thank you for this conversation.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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