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Check, check.

I'm sitting outside.

Just put a sweater on.

Very cool here, which is nice.

It's just great for sleeping, and I much prefer this to that and too hot, sticky weather.

Sleep very well in this, and I will tonight.

It's 9.30, and I'm feeling kind of lonely.

I think it's unusual for me.

Cliff and Alice left about an hour ago, back to their motel.

I'll see them tomorrow for another day of racing,

and then I'll head home tomorrow after the last race,

I guess late afternoon probably, join the lineup getting out of here.

We decide not to go up and see the band.

There's a band up on the hill.

I can't hear them from here, so that means they're quite a distance,

so it would be miserable for me to walk along sort of a gravel road,

but it's a good way to get there, and I had enough of the band last night.

This is a different band, and I just don't, you know, I'm not in the partying mood.

And it's too early to go to bed.

I suppose I could go in and read.

That would make sense.

That would be a good thing to do.

But, hmm.

I felt I wanted to share this, maybe to,

well, to express my loneliness,

and then maybe I'd come out thinking,

well, I'm not really lonely.

I don't know what it is.

I guess it's sort of, you know, you can have a talk,

and you really, you know, you get a rush, and you get high,

and you get...

activated, and everything is wow-y.

And I couldn't get in the groove.

Somehow...

These are good friends I was with.

But somehow you can still feel very apart from people.

Like, how well do we really know each other's lives?

Like, how...

How separate are we really?

And you'd think friendship is the thing where you're supposed to feel

a closeness.

But I think it can also make you,

as you listen to somebody else's life story or experiences

or stories of their grandchildren or whatever,

you can feel apart.

Separate.

That's your world.

That's not my world.

And it's interesting because the books I've been reading,

the Sekhart Tolle was about, you know,

how do you reach that state of awareness

when you feel a oneness with all other human beings?

Well, that's a long haul to get there.

But, I don't know.

I just, I think,

maybe it's the...

talked about their kids

that made me think about my kids

and maybe

wanting to connect with mine.

Wanting to feel a oneness.

But, I don't know.

I just don't know.

Is this the kind of thing you leave in a podcast?

Or you just say, ooh, that clip didn't work.

I don't think we'll share that one.

It's quite wonderful to be sitting up on this hill

and then there's a dip down

and then there's another rise

where the paddock is.

And it's sort of on three levels.

There's three paved levels.

And so it's quite a ramp getting up there

right up to the...

top

where the race track start-finish line is.

So you're looking across

at that thing.

And it's very quiet.

Of course, there's lights on.

But there are quiet gatherings

around each of the, you know,

little encampments they have.

Some people have some very large motorhomes

that they tow a racing car behind,

you know, in a trailer behind the motorhome.

Quite a few of those.

This is unlike teams

where the teams, you know,

the NASCAR things,

they come in with a huge truck

and, you know, other vehicles.

These are people who are hobbyists.

So they're going to...

If they're going to travel

from one track to another,

they might bring this big motorhome

so they can be comfortable

the whole time in it.

Got talking to one of the guys

with the MGA he's had for 20 years.

He was very excited to show me his...

Oh.

Twin overhead camshafts.

And I said,

Would you like to see it?

He said,

It's okay.

But he insisted on unstrapping the hood

and lifting it up.

I said,

Well, I got a friend who might be interested.

And sure enough,

Cliff just wandered by at that point.

I said,

Here's a guy who'd like to see

your twin overhead camshafts.

And, of course,

Cliff knew all about that.

Cliff having a Triumph TR4 of his own.

And, you know,

joined, as belongs to

a British sports car club

in Nova Scotia.

Cliff, who, as I say,

raced this track in a BMW.

He's always been a good driver.

A good friend to have.

And this is, again,

grade 11 high school,

1966, I guess,

when we started hanging out

and were part of a larger group.

And, boy,

we were all good friends

through our university days,

even though,

he was at Acadia

and I was at St. George.

It's a lifelong friendship.

And so now,

funny saying that,

now maybe I don't feel so lonely

or so apart.

We've just shared so much

over the years.

And it's kind of nice

that he was able to fly in

with his wife,

who I know very well,

and join us,

join me.

And so,

does talking make a difference?

Maybe it does.

Maybe it helps.

I guess,

it may be that I'm trying

a little too hard.

I'm continually trying

to find that right spot,

the right perception,

the right distance,

the right, you know,

did I say perspective?

Yeah.

And really,

what you just have to do

is just let go

and just be

and not think much more

about how to be,

but just to be.

And sometimes that gets tricky.

So I think I'll shut this down

and I think I'll just try

and be for a while.

That's the name of the game.

Be.

Here.

Now.

I'm looking with a little bit

of envy at a campfire.

I'm looking at a campfire.

I'm looking at a campfire

going not too far away.

And in the older days,

I might have just wandered over

and talked to them.

But because my hearing

is so bad now,

it's really gotten worse.

It's very hard

to follow a conversation.

And that's the last thing

you want to do

is go over,

meet somebody new

and then ask,

continually ask,

what?

Sorry?

Sorry, I didn't hear you.

What?

It takes the fun

out of any new

kind of engagement.

All right.

I'm going to get that

taken care of

and I'm better than

what I'm doing.

I'm going to get

hearing aids

when the time comes.

I'm still waiting

for those to arrive,

those special order ones

I got.

Scarborough Dude

signing off.

I was thinking

that maybe I had

discovered something.

I've been sitting here

enjoying it

since the dark

and as comes the moon

and it's risen,

moved,

you know what I'm

talking about.

In this position,

half moon,

quite bright,

high up in the sky,

light clouds around it,

filters,

very clear description

of the air,

image of the Big Dipper.

And again,

the low lights,

you know,

coming from the various

spots in the paddocks.

And then straight ahead,

there's a trailer

blocking my view

and then a campfire

and it's just nice

looking at the fire.

I don't want to join anybody.

I could have gone up,

but I'm really enjoying

this bit of solitude.

I finally realized,

wow,

the sky seems so big

and I've noticed this

before at Mossport.

When you're on this

particular spot

where I am,

I'm within 30 feet

of, you know,

I'm in the same place

I'm always at

when I come to Mossport.

Like,

this is the place

I found,

like right off the bat

by good luck

and I like it,

you know.

And,

this expanse

of sky,

it just seems

quite vast here.

That's,

you know,

it's just,

I don't know what it is.

Lack of buildings

or anything.

I guess you're

out in the country,

so that's certainly

part of it.

Just trees

and just a huge

sky above.

And,

and,

you know,

not,

there's quite a few

just RVs and tents

and all these things

just in this place

and it's,

it's a nice place to be

and it's a safe place to be

and it's a friendly place to be.

And having this,

this little time

to reflect

on the now

and being here now

and being open to

and grateful of this now,

this big sky now.

Starting to shiver though.

Temperature's definitely dropping.

I've got a bit of a shiver going

so I'm probably going to

end it here.

But,

whatever it was

I just told you,

you know,

I think that's what

I wanted to tell you.

Oh yeah,

no,

there was an important

part two to that.

The part two was,

okay Ken,

you've come to the conclusion

that,

come to the conclusion,

now Ken,

you realize

you feel this now

and you're enjoying this now

and you're liking the sky

and immediately

you want to tell

somebody about it.

You want to get out

to your recorder

and tell them.

And the other voice

trying to stop me

and said,

no,

why?

You don't need to do that.

You don't need to tell anybody.

You can just be.

No, no, no.

I have to.

I have to let people know

I'm happy.

And that's pretty damn

suspicious, isn't it?

And then that made me realize,

ooh,

is this the thing

I'm supposed to understand

after a thousand episodes,

you know?

You're doing this

because you have to.

And it's,

it might be a good thing

not to have to.

Just to be content,

to be happy,

to be here

and not have to share that

and not have to tell anybody.

It's enough.

Why do I have to

make something of it?

Can't it just be?

I'll leave that

for you to deal with.

I think I'm going to shut down.

I'm just,

I'm starting to shiver.

That's not good.

I'm starting to shiver.

So,

I better get inside.

Signing off once again.

Bye-bye.

Have a good morning.

And,

happy Father's Day

to those of you

who

are fathers

or

have

or had

a father you want to remember.

I remember mine

often.

I think about him.

He was quite

an interesting guy.

I think

a lot of the connection

I think you sort of

have to go back to.

Wartime,

secrecy,

private.

He was a very gentle man.

Very well-groomed,

I guess.

Conscious of his appearance,

always wanted to look good.

The ladies certainly liked my dad.

I guess I've got

some of those things

in me.

I mean,

I think about what shirt

I'm putting on,

what I look like

when I go out.

It's shallow,

but

it's a part of me.

I think about my own

time as a father

and just how much

better I could have

done

than that.

That saddens me

a lot.

And I might compare myself

to other fathers.

And of course,

that's a thing that you're

not supposed to be doing.

It's this bloody comparison

because it'll just kill you.

Well,

it won't kill you,

but it'll make you miserable.

I've got to find my sunglasses.

It's morning time.

It's

just after 9.30.

Third race of the day already.

I woke up

to the sound

of the car.

The sound of races

like I slept

right through.

And that was wonderful.

You wake up

and you hear cars.

Oh,

I can get up now.

I had,

I was in bed

for nine hours.

I,

comfortably,

God damn,

in that sleeping bag

and this thing,

it's just so nice.

Sorry,

I'm wandering around a bit.

Okay,

back to my

chair with a little table.

A racing chair

that I spent

so much money

having to do.

Having repaired.

And from here,

I can look straight out

and I've got that

big wide opening

of the track.

And this

is now my preferred place.

I usually park sideways

and I can see

from the passenger seat.

But now I'm right

at the edge.

And,

it's a good

clear opening.

As they just come out

from the,

whoa.

So this is the race

with the minis.

They triumph.

They

float us

the board.

The mixed bag.

Oh,

there's a

spread.

Whoa,

backfire.

Datsuns.

They're just

great.

These people

are really having fun.

It's,

it's a real

great,

wow,

I mean,

there's three

Austin Healy

side by side.

Anyway,

that's the backdrop

here at Mossport.

Last night,

I don't know,

I recorded a couple of clips.

I don't know if I used them

or not.

But I think it's better

if I don't censor myself.

And I was kind of

just trying to adjust

to the open space.

Like,

I actually,

I liked it,

but I'm

trying this thing

to experience

now

the actual

living,

dying,

passing

moment

as it is,

as it happens.

And it's very hard

to do

because

your thoughts

get out of control.

They come up

and thoughts

take you away from them.

Thoughts take you

forward or backward.

And just to keep

putting the brakes on,

okay,

think about the breathing.

Just breathe.

Just breathe in.

Just breathe out.

Follow your breath.

That helps.

And

it's sort of as if

I'm looking for

some kind of,

I don't know,

something,

something

a breakthrough maybe.

Something that just

suddenly clears.

I'm here.

And it's tied in

with this need

of mine

to do exactly

what I'm doing now.

Talk to people

on my

recorder

and put this out

for others to hear.

That part is

kind of removed.

It's more,

it's not,

I'm not thinking

about your listening experience.

I'm thinking about

I need to talk now.

And

the question is

why?

And this really

is what it's all about.

And this is what

I would like to figure out

by the time

now

as I made this

thousandth

episode.

Excuse me

while I have a drink

of my

vanilla

Starbucks

double shot

energy plus coffee

drink.

It was just

the right thing.

I made a cup of hot coffee.

Big cup out

filled up with boiling water.

And

two teaspoons of

Tim Hortons

dark roll.

Put it back in the

microwave for another

minute.

And you got yourself

a nice hot coffee.

I had that.

A quiche.

A very nice quiche.

Heat it up in the

microwave.

Two minutes.

And

a

muffin.

And the muffins

were the special

what they were

made to taste like

those

you know

something or other.

I don't know

some flavor.

But they're pretty good.

I bought a six pack.

I think I've had

four so far.

I'm hoping

given Alice

taking the other

two

when they show up

today will be

our goodbye day.

And it's been

it's been a good

connection with them

in spite of

what I might have

said last night

about feeling

distant

and disconnected

and apart.

We live in these

silos

you know

so separate

from everybody else.

But that's not

and that's just

one perspective

from one time

and that just

changes.

So

I'm going to

I guess

it's a case of

I don't know

what the hell

I'm talking about.

Or no.

I'm trying

to figure out

what's going on.

I'm trying to figure out

my

I know

I'm where I'm

supposed to be

right now.

Father's Day.

Fuck yeah.

Mossport.

I'll be here

next year this time.

God willing.

I know.

There's no God.

But

I'm going to

if there are no

outrageous health issues

and I may even

come up on a Thursday

get a real head start

on it

and find this very spot.

I gotta figure out

something about the

propane.

You see there's

there's a thing

I was on a theme

I was on a talk

I was trying to figure out

why am I

why do I have this

overpowering need

to turn on the recorder

and talk.

And it's because

I'm trying to hold

on to something.

And why am I trying

to hold on to something?

It's like my books

my possessions

and the library.

It's

you know

maybe some

childhood trauma

of moving

of leaving

leaving Valleyfield

was a huge thing

for us like that

was all I knew

of the grade three

and then

this great big house

on Galt Street

going to Galt School

where my brother and sister went

and then

whoa

we're living on this street

in the suburbs

in a new house

with people I don't know

going to school

I'm afraid of.

on a bus

oh my god

so

a lot of crying

grade four

but that doesn't

really explain it.

There's the weirdness

of my

growing up

and not being able

to eat anything

except hot dogs

tomato soup

peanut butter sandwiches

until I

headed for Europe

on my own

and got hungry.

Now I can eat anything.

That was

I mean that was huge

that's another psychological

so there is something

a little weird

about me

I'm going to have

to get it done.

and when I say

you know people

what did you do

oh I was a teacher

and then I have to correct them

well I was an ESL teacher

it's because I wouldn't

fit in a regular classroom

I couldn't have been

a classroom teacher

I couldn't have taken

that responsibility

I couldn't have

followed those rules

I think it is

lack of confidence

insecurity

and maybe that's

at the root

of me doing

these podcasts

is an insecurity

is a need to

to prove something

to show something

that

well

I don't know

you know

I'm somebody

and

why the hell

would that be important

why isn't it enough

that I just sit here

and enjoy the races

and say fuck you

to the world

because I don't want to

say fuck you to the world

the world is a sad enough place

but why can't

I just be

and not have to tell

not have to capture

not have to hold

it

not have to prove

something

I don't know

and

I guess I'm going to

have to leave it there

I don't think there is

an answer

but it does raise

the question

why I had

entertaining thoughts

about stopping

okay then just

just hard stop

just stop

don't do another one

just live without

telling them

it doesn't matter

be with your friends

when you're with your friends

friends you have

the friends who care

be with them

that's enough

and

you got friends

but when you're alone

enjoy the time alone

be with your wife

be with your children

just be

maybe that would be

a better title

just be

instead of human kindness

I don't know

and I think

I'm also confused

because

it's not necessarily

good friends

who listen to this podcast

maybe people who know me

and listen to this

and I'm grateful for that

but they not really care

or

gee I haven't seen

Ken for a long time

I really like to see Ken

I don't think there's

a whole lot of that

and maybe that's

another part of the

equation

this need

for friendship

that I'm hanging on

like I got a grip

on my friends

hey I'm not letting go buddy

that's

probably not healthy

I mean I don't make demands

I don't call people up

three in the morning

crying

I don't do that

in fact I think I

I think I give

to friends

at least as much as I take

I'm gonna go

yeah I'm gonna go out there

I'm gonna see that

I give

to my friends

at least as much as I take

I'm almost gonna say

if not more

you want in on some of that friendship

don't you

hey

but I get more

I just gotta give him something

and he gives back

plus

wow

gee I wanna be a friend with Ken

that's for Shane

he likes that

Shane's quite simple

it seems

Shane

this is Shane

what's his name

Shane in Windsor

he's got I don't know

he's you know

the businessman

anyway

and a shout out to Tom

again I did that last time

I know

that seems kind of unfair

to other listeners

if I

single those guys out

but it's cause I'm missing Windsor

Windsor is a piece of my life

has become a piece of my life

the fog lounge

the various bars

these guys take me to

and the restaurants

the good food

Windsor is a piece of my life

and you see there's a thing

so I wanna share that

that's an example

that's in the future

I'm gonna be going there

Shane will pick me up

at the bus stop

or the train station

maybe

probably

the train station

and

yeah

drop me off

after breakfast

with Tom

it's always good

it's always rich

my life is still rich

and it should

just be

without me

having to share

so

on that note

I think I've

I think I've got the message across

that I'm

struggling a little here

I'm trying to figure things out

I should just be

putting this down

focusing on the races

I should have made a little bit

of a half-hearted effort

to get trackside

but

it's just so comfortable

sitting here right beside Sal

everything I need is here

and I'm enjoying my double shot

so

Scarborough dude

I hope you

I hope

this means something

to somebody out there

because I hope

you're

I mean

surely you're

going through

inner struggles yourself

but I'm not going to struggle to myself

I'm going to struggle to myself

surely

if you're listening to this

you're trying to figure out

who you are

and why you are

the way you are

I mean

why wouldn't you be

and maybe

maybe

maybe not

I don't think

Cliff goes through

this kind of thing

I think maybe I'm

possibly cursed

with a self-reflective nature

and

for whatever reason

and maybe others aren't

no

life is just life

just goes on

and maybe that's who you are

in which case

this must be awfully

awful

I don't know

ugh

god

stop

you know

signing off

talk to you later

probably

yeah we're not done yet

we're not done yet

bye for now

on this Father's Day Sunday

be good

be kind

bye bye

the end of the race

they're pretty neat

these are these really small

open you know

four wheel cars

it's that small

body

they're similar

size engines

and they really

they fight

I guess the winner

of this race

has won four

all four races

he was in

he's got something

fixed right

they're very

very small

they look like

the old

Formula One cars

way back then

you know

when they were

sort of like

just like a

little cigar box

with four

open wheels

but the reason

we're here

is for the next race

of the

I guess

class four

of the usual

cars

and I'm here

right at

track side

so that I can

see them

as they come out

from the paddock

onto the track

you get a real

close up view

of them

and you try

and snap

a few pictures

I've posted

well over

five

saved

well over

a hundred pictures

I don't know

what I can do

with them

maybe I'll just

go through

and pick

favorites

randomly

and

well not

randomly

I'll pick

favorites

and put

some

O's up

on Facebook

just posted

a picture

of my dad

playing the

banjo

on Father's

Day

saying I

wish I

had known

more about

him

or known

him better

so much

I would have

liked to have

known about

his life

and this is

a sad thing

once your

parents are

gone

you can't

talk to them

anymore

you can't

ask questions

you can't

find out

what was it

like

in

1943

whatever

you know

okay

so

yeah

we'll just

stop this

now and

get ready

for the next

race

bye for now

I hope you

can tell the

difference

in the race

and the

sound

just by the

sounds

like these

I just keep

referring to

them as the

big boys

but they're

noisy

and they're

going full

out

these things

again mixed

mixed bag

of cars

so

it doesn't

matter who's

number one

the number

two

number

three

number

four

number

five

number

six

number

six

number

seven

number

eight

number

nine

number

ten

number

eleven

number

twelve

three

four

three

two

one

go

yes

go

oh

I mean

they pack

they can

pass each

other here

that's

this is

a great

race

i'm

just

gonna

take

my

chair

Funny, all the Porsches in the rear

Old Mustang

But when you see

I mean, there's competitors

You're going to have two Mustangs

Different years, different vintage

But

One will be really hopped up

And ready to go

And the other

They're not taking their time

But they just ain't going to be up in the lead

So they're still quite bunched up

That's why we're getting this

Break and the noise

They're still coming together

Moving as a group

But as soon as they announce

Corner 10, then it's the start-finish line

Then it's my corner where I am now

To the right curve

Number one

And this is where that comes

Top three leaders

Third was a Porsche

And that's a Porsche

It's a tricky spot

They're coming out of a corner

And then there's a bit of a

The road is slanted

And that's where the

Corvette flipped over yesterday

Exactly where I'm looking now

Oh, man, that's a good one

Almost through

And then they're going to this rise

And then there's this downhill

Where they really pick up speed

And you come into that wide corner too

Where it used to be my corner

Now I like to be right close trackside

Camaro in the rear there

Way behind

Top three by far

That first, second, third right there

Third being a Porsche

Corvette, Jason

And down here in the middle

And the last one here

Is the Top 3

Who do you think came out

Of the Top 3

Which is the Convistar

Bikini

What?

It's not my car

It's my car

That's right

I don't know

I don't have a driver's license

It's all a joke

Let's do it

Let's go

Well, that's a good one

Well, this is pretty cool

Good ride

Well, that's good

Good ride

Thank you.

This is still with yellow caution flags.

They can't pass each other, but they're still going fast.

But not top speed.

And those are the...

Okay.

This is the last race of the morning.

This is the one I want to see.

Afternoon, I don't care so much.

I'll go back and make up some lunch for all of us.

And, uh...

But I'll let you hear a few of these...

These beasts roaring by.

This will be class four, I believe.

And...

I've just watched them come out onto the track.

And now they're just getting lined up at the start-finish line.

Pace car will pull off.

...Louis Jabboury out of Jordan, Ontario...

...in another 1999 Ford Taurus...

...does make it out because...

We've got Mustangs, Corvettes...

Ooh, a Chevrolet Impala.

I didn't see that.

Not all of them make it onto the track.

You know, these are printed beforehand.

BMW, Porsche, Acura, Camaros, Datsun 240Z...

Porsche 914, Porsche 996...

Ooh, gee, that's a fancy...

944, Porsche...

A Pontiac Grand Prix...

2002...

Oh, I hope to see that, too.

I didn't see the Triumph TR7, but I guess that's listed here.

...lined up here side-by-side...

...as they come off of turn number 10...

Yep.

...and we'll look to the back of the grid to see whether...

You know what's coming.

...Louis Jabboury...

Whatever the problem was with that race car, I'm sure they gave it their best effort.

Here we go.

Now, the listings on the program don't always match up with the cars that are on the track,

so I didn't...

There's a few I called out that I did not see in this group.

No problem.

Still bunched up.

Third place position.

Ben Hunt, full force.

Mustangs.

Fourth place position.

Moving right up to the lead.

That car has been wiped out.

That's the leader.

Way out in front.

That was a ground floor.

Followed by a Ford Taurus.

Number eight.

That's a 65 Ford Mustang

that just went by.

He's doing very well.

Number seven from Scarborough.

From Scarborough.

Oh, got to cheer him on.

He's doing well.

Beautiful white.

I don't know if I told you.

That's the leader.

2002.

2020 at Grand Prix.

Number 147.

Mike Norell.

Newark and Ontario.

Way out in front.

Very fast.

Gary Backlund is going to be joining us for that.

It looks like we may have a retiree here yet.

Oh.

Some I don't recognize.

I have to look up.

Like that 156 was a 1994 Chevrolet Camaro.

I wouldn't know at a glance what it was.

Not from as they speed by anymore.

Oh.

You want to be in two places at once.

Like I like seeing them this straight away.

But it's also fun in corner two to see them coming down the hill and into the road.

But you can only be in one place at a time.

So for your listening pleasure, I've chosen to be close to the track.

Okay.

We've got a 1971 Corvette coming up.

Should be any moment now.

That was it.

Well, folks.

It's my last race.

It's my last race for the day.

And unfortunately, this one's under a full course yellow.

There was an accident once again right in front of us yesterday.

It was a Corvette that flipped over.

It was a Porsche and another small, maybe an MG or something that it might have clipped.

And bam, tow trucks and ambulance onto the track.

And everybody gets out of these things okay.

They're well protected in what they're wearing.

And they've got roll bars and everything else.

But still, there's no insurance on these cars.

Whoever has an accident, they're stuck with footing the bill.

Maybe.

I don't know if it's somebody else's fault, whether they try and sue them.

I doubt that.

I'm sure it's all worked out in advance.

You know, if you get your car in a pile-up, it's tough luck.

Cliff and Alice just left.

Cliff kindly bought me a very nice Mossport T-shirt as a gift

when he was getting some for his...

sons.

I said, no, please, no.

I don't want a gift.

But I took it anyway.

He insisted.

They insisted.

And he took me to a new spot again.

He said, no, it's a really good viewing point.

Just up on the bridge, which I'm very close to.

It's before Corner 2.

You just...

All it involves is going up a lot of stairs.

But I can manage that with my cane, not with the walker.

And then once you're there, you've got a good view of the cars coming straight along.

So I've got a whole new angle for the cars racing

and a lot of shots that I've taken.

So somewhere, all those damn things are going to be posted.

But I'll screen them first.

Basically, it's just I'm using an iPhone.

So all you have to do is sort of crop them

so you've got out all the...

extra, because I just do wide-angle lens...

or the full lens just to capture everything

and then just crop it

to make it look like you're close up.

And the quality's good enough for the Internet.

So it's winding down.

I've packed up the chairs already,

all except the one I'm sitting in.

And I figured I'd try and get out ahead of the crowd.

But, yeah, if I've got to maneuver my way out of...

back up and get out of here, that should be no problem at all.

Again, I've got everything organized in the road track,

so there's no problems there.

And I'll be on my way home.

It's been good.

It's been very good.

I keep forgetting.

Hey, I'm just talking now, but wait a minute, buddy.

Hey, this is number 1,000.

Isn't this supposed to be some big deal?

Aren't you supposed to have some...

something special for those...

I was going to say assholes, but...

No, no, no, not assholes.

No, no.

If you're listening, you're not an asshole.

Well, no, I can't guarantee that.

But for those people who just all just listen to number 1,000,

sorry to disappoint you.

Uh...

It's just all more of the same.

It's just me just trying to...

trying to understand life, trying to...

I mean, I'd like to think I'm still

playing this game of trying to make myself a better person,

trying to be more aware.

And it isn't easy.

I found a passage in a book.

I'm not going to read it to you.

But people have been doing this forever.

But, you know, at a deeper level than I'm...

than I'm able to.

But just trying to understand.

And it often circles back to...

this...

You only live in this particular moment.

This moment that I'm talking to you is the only moment that I've got

or will ever have.

Um...

And your listening moment, boy,

some of you will say, wait a minute now.

I've got better things to do.

If this isn't my only moment, why am I listening to the Scarborough dude?

Yeah.

Anytime you like.

Another voice today said, okay, make this the last one

and go do something new.

And I'm actually thinking that might be a good decision.

So, again, I don't know.

And I'm not playing games.

I'm not trying to be cute or funny or, you know,

make anything more out of this other than what it is.

And it's just...

It's just a man.

Um...

While I am, reflecting on life, reflecting on his own life, trying to understand what

makes himself tick.

What is it about my wiring?

What is it about my personal history, my childhood, my whatever, that makes me who I am, that

makes me do this.

That's trapped me in this personality?

And the course shows that I had it funzzy.

and I'll add all these personality things.

They just now, no, no, they're switchable.

They're open for change anytime you want, buddy.

So it's sort of like, I don't know.

I would love to wrap this up with me making a mistake, circling around the block,

coming back, giving that guy the cold drink,

and then the next day being rewarded with a can of beer

for my good deed by unseen forces, unseen forces working at me.

So here they go.

This is the last of the big guys.

Corvette's in there.

And I guess, well, they've certainly cleared the track.

I don't know if I have any more laps to get in.

They only allow 20 minutes.

But I'm going to get out of here before.

Before the 1600 series and those smaller races come back on.

And this will be it.

I don't quite know how to end this.

I feel kind of a, the word failure keeps coming up.

And why should I feel that?

Fail at what?

What test was it that you failed?

What is it you set out for yourself?

I guess, like with anything, you want to make people happy.

Is that true?

Maybe not.

You want to make people glad they know you.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Yeah.

I mean, and there's some people, I guess, who go through life

wanting to make people hate them and fear them.

God, I sure know.

One of those people.

Don't fear me.

I guess this is the end.

Scarborough Dudes, signing off on Father's Day 2024

from Canadian Tire Motorsport Park.

I'll be back next year.

I hope.

Bye for now.

Okay.

This is present day Ken, the man who's just released episode 1,000.

A few episodes called 1,000.

And when I was backing up all the old Dixon Janes

to make sure I had a copy of everything on a hard drive,

I noticed number 85.

Nine was missing.

And I did a little backtracking to find out what happened

because, hey, I'm one short of 1,000 here.

And I found this clip, the clip I'm about to play for you.

And what's kind of interesting was that it was,

I didn't play it because it was something I had recorded

at Mossport in September 2021.

And for whatever reason, and I wish I had that clip

because it's disappeared.

It's gone.

I said something I didn't feel good about

and deleted the entire episode.

So 859, that's if you're a collector,

that's a special episode.

But I think I took the whole thing down.

So here's a little clip of an explanation.

Just, this is just really a little bit of fill.

But I thought it was kind of interesting

because it was all about Mossport once again.

And that's where we're ending.

And after that, you know, somebody sent me in a clip.

I don't, the sound quality was so bad.

Sounds like they recorded it in a car or something.

I don't even know who it was from,

but you'll hear that at the very end.

So Scarborough Dude signing out.

And sincerely, thank you, those people

who have been with me right for the long haul

on this whole damn thing.

It's, I appreciate that very, very much.

And I have gotten just enough support

to keep me going all this time.

And I appreciate that very much.

Scarborough Dude signing out for real this time.

Bye-bye.

10.

1,000.

It is, it is Shoren, as you call it.

It's just Shoren, by the way.

You don't have to, like, say it like Shoren.

It's just Shoren.

Like, figure it out.

Shoren.

This is Shoren, Shane, and?

Lauren.

We are in America right now.

We are driving to an estate sale

because my wife likes to acquire things.

And then, sell them for a profit.

Yeah.

And we just wanted to send you a little message.

Congratulations on.

Congratulations.

Congratulations on, I think,

what anybody would consider a monumental feat.

Yeah.

In any sort of platform.

I don't know, but there's many TV shows, radio,

maybe a radio show that's a daily.

But.

Um.

You know, 1,000 episodes is really, really, really impressive.

Yeah.

Um.

And I've listened to none of them.

Even though that you need me to listen to them to follow up on your life.

But I just listen to the ones that you say things about me.

And then you tell me that you do, and then I listen, and then I stop listening.

Lauren doesn't listen to any of them.

How would you know?

She, I don't know.

She doesn't.

She just likes seeing you every couple.

Yeah.

So anyways, we just wanted to say congratulations.

That's huge.

Thank you for sharing your life with everybody.

You podcasting is the reason why we're friends.

Why we met 20 years ago, which is pretty crazy.

Thank you for being, you know, what I consider one of my closest friends.

And thank you for.

Yeah.

Thank you for being.

You.

The Scarborough dude.

Love you.

We'll see you soon.

Bye.

.