Video Hate Episode 2

Rows and flows of angel hair

And ice-cream castles in the air

And feather canyons everywhere

I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun

They rain and they snow on everyone

So many things I would have done

But clouds guard in my way

I've looked at clouds

From both sides now

From up and down

And still somehow

It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds

At all

Moons and dunes

And fairies' wheels

The dizzy dancing way that you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show

And you leave them laughing when you go

And if you can

Don't let them know

Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love

From both sides now

And ice-cream castles in the air

And still somehow

It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know love

I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud

To say I love you right out loud

Dreams and skills and circus crowds

I've looked at life that way

All but now

Old friends, they're acting strange

And they shake their heads

And they tell me that I've changed

Well, something's lost

But something's gained

In living every day

I've looked at life

From both sides now

From win and lose

And still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know love

At all

It's life's illusions that I recall

I really don't know life

At all

It's life's illusions that I recall

I really don't know life at all

It's life's illusions that I recall

What's happening with this?

Infra.

Finally.

Berbacia?

You hear me?

Hello?

Oh, car no good.

Berbacia, are you there?

Honey?

I don't hear nothing.

Are you talking?

Well.

Hello?

Berbacia?

Hello?

Hi, Berbacia.

Is that you?

You can hear me?

Yeah.

Can you see the twirler I got on?

Yes.

You see her?

Okay, good.

Is there any way you can turn up your voice so you can speak louder?

Because there's only so much I can do, audio-wise.

You know what I'm saying?

Hello?

Yeah.

Is that better?

Not really.

I'll take what I can get.

So I was going to have you on earlier so I could teach you how to do an

icon.

You see how I have my emoji and I've got my yarmulke?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I got a yarmulke arm and I'm very studious.

I'm like a mini, I'm like a yentl.

You like that?

That's great.

Thanks.

That's amazing.

I thought you probably, I thought, you know, once I realized that I had

written down the time zone.

Yeah.

I thought you probably got somebody else to replace.

I'm not, I don't have the luxury of other people.

But here, let's just start with her.

So, look, what do you think of this one?

This one, I know she's hot.

That's not the point.

But what is this shuffling?

Do you understand it?

Let's start with the hand twirls.

We're going to go, not her.

Not her.

This one.

Can you explain those hand twirls?

I don't understand what that's about.

I'll do it again if you need to focus.

Well, in a minute, all the alley want to bump and everybody who just paid the people snuck

up in the truck.

What's happening?

I don't know what.

Yeah.

With all here or with the hand twirls?

The hand twirls, not the beach lady.

That was just a precursor.

Oh, I don't know.

It's, it's, what is it?

What do they call it?

They do those raves and stuff and they do the hands and they're dancing around.

I really don't know.

I, I see him.

I think that he's, you know.

Stupid.

He is hot.

Yeah.

But, you know, there's this thing that these people do this and they do it, they go hard.

Yeah.

They do it for hours.

Right.

I just don't get it.

I don't either.

It doesn't, it looks more like a workout routine, like, than dancing.

Right.

Well, let me show you this because she's also a Barbie girl.

Oh, wait, I'm on the wrong holder.

I gotta, sorry, I hope I don't show anything by accident because it's my phone.

You know what I mean?

But I want to show.

Her name is Yanny.

She's from Fort Lauderdale.

First, let's look at her face because there's issues.

That's not her face.

That's her face.

It's chest day for her.

I mean, I'm not, she's good looking as a body, but are you, would you say butter face or no?

You know, I mean.

You're not that picky.

Well, it depends on what comes out of, out of, out of his mouth.

You know, if he's got a good personality.

You know, it kind of like, you know, at one point people had sex with Trump because he was a con artist.

And so.

Yeah.

Did you?

Did you do that?

Did you fuck her?

Okay, look.

Did I do that?

Check out the, this is her pink look.

She's pin now.

You like that?

You know, I, it's funny.

I didn't go to any of the, did you go to the Barbie thing?

No, I don't do both.

I didn't go to Barbie.

What is it called?

Barbacoa where they did both movies.

Barbacoa.

Barb and Hyman.

You didn't do that?

I didn't do that.

Uh oh.

You didn't bust your Barbie Hyman?

No, I, but I'm curious of what, you know, what the, the theme was, you know, cause I know they had to really do something.

Was it like multiple Barbies?

Like everybody's Barbie?

Is that what, what it was?

I think it was multiple.

Oh, there was.

There was the face.

Did you see that multiple person?

Keep looking and you'll see the face again.

I need you to comment, uh, multiple personality, Barbie, three faces of Barbie.

And she, I think her mother torches her with a button hooks, something like that.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, she touched her.

The gene look, wait, we got to see the face.

Just wait for the face.

She does a closeup.

I don't know if I can snap it in time.

It's, it's hard to, you know, these Instagrams, it's hard to get a, you know, get a pause going there.

And she, it bugs me too.

That she leaves her mouth open.

Yeah.

And she's dancing.

Like she can't, she's a mouth breather.

Oh, she doubled, did a double clap.

That was good.

She, she's dancing with her hands in her pockets, which is a, wait a minute.

Is it the body?

Because you don't like the fittest wizard, the fittest wizard.

I don't know her.

You know her.

Well, you can send me a link.

If you look at it, wait, I got it.

I'm trying to pause on the face.

You know, I could also do it this way.

We're like, this is where.

There, there's the face.

What do you think?

He's young.

That, that.

I didn't ask if I didn't say he was old.

I said, butterface.

Don't you know what a butterface is?

Everything butterface.

Is that what you're saying?

You know, I, um, he, no, he doesn't have a great face, but you know, it's like you have to put all the rest of it to work.

Right.

He works at the Chicago.

I heard in Chicago, there's a, an Eagle in, um, Fort Lauderdale and he, he entertained, he wears a jockstrap there, but I don't have any pictures, but I want to show you where he was entertaining the Fort Lauderdale.

I used to live there.

It's all these fat men that wear those gaucho pants.

You know, you know, gauchos, you know what I mean?

Like a score for, for fat men.

So this is him entertaining the gaucho girls.

Look, yeah, she's really getting it.

She looks better here.

Cause it's dark.

Look at her, look at her in those old.

Fashion pants, look at the, but look at the audience.

That's why I love it before.

Oh, you have.

Yeah.

And it's like, you know what?

It's like a hand twirl for you.

You get a hand twirl.

I know that's hard.

She's making a career.

Sorry.

I keep making a career out of shuffling.

Yeah.

Good for her.

Right.

Yeah.

I know.

She's like, she's like, I learned how to shuffle.

But look at that.

Look at that guy looking at his phone.

Those are all my neighbors.

They all look exactly the same.

Scorch with bellies for Lauderdale.

I know that parking lot used to go there a lot.

That's for Georgie's alibi is those warrior neighbors in Florida.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess I can't tell the difference.

Can you, I mean, all fat white people look alike.

I think so.

What'd you think of that?

So are we done with her?

Maybe she's, you know,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

but what, what is the, what is the segment called asshole?

Assholes.

It's just, it's not a segment.

It's the whole show.

It's just like what happened is I found myself hating everyone.

I look at Instagram and it makes me hate a lot of things.

Not all of it is hate.

Some of it is admiration.

Um, I know you do that, too.

Cause you send me a lot and I just wanted to talk about

them because I never have anything to

talk about.

I send you pictures of fat people all the time.

And previously.

Yeah.

It's not even about the fat people.

It's because I identify with them.

Are you a self-identified obese person?

Well, I do too.

I am.

Okay.

So, yeah.

Well, here's...

I identify with them.

So, I want to show you something really off.

I lost my place.

There's a lot to get to, so I'll try to go faster now.

So, I started...

You know how you get in these cycles of...

Somehow, I got into one of these help-yourself cycles, like people that were trying to help

me live a better life.

So, this one is extremely annoying.

Let me just...

Let's just get to her.

I hate her.

Hey.

You have the freedom to make the life decisions that suit you best, and you should not allow

the perceived disappointment of others to dictate those decisions.

Creating a life of freedom and fulfillment often means going against the status quo.

Oh, fuck you.

Against familial demands and societal...

Who this ugly bitch?

You will not find the validation you are seeking within the council of pessimists and cynics.

Their beliefs are self-fulfilling.

Instead, they are self-fulfilling.

Instead, surround yourself with mentors.

Surround yourself with bad piano music.

Act with intention and curiosity and foster your potential.

Die.

Because others will want to foster it, too.

God, this is just dumping diarrhea on me.

So, go create the life that you want and enjoy the process.

Oh, God.

Shut the fuck up.

So, you just did not relate to that at all.

What do you think?

You best, and you should not allow...

What do you think I have?

I always...

You know, it's funny.

I have this weird thing about people that do, like, the all...

You know, like, the wisdom quotes.

Yeah.

The wisdom stuff.

And it's like, some people just...

I mean, they make a...

Again, with, like, the shuffling, they make a whole career out of, like, imparting wisdom on people.

And it's like, well, you read that from...

I still got my 15-minute timers.

You read that out of, like, some book or something.

And, you know, all of a sudden...

It's like, have you actually just, like, done...

Dug through all of the dirt and the grime that you're saying that people can get to with this quote?

Yeah, and he's 12.

At the other side of...

He's 12.

His mother just told him to clean up his room.

And he just went, I was like, oh, I got to make a movie, Mom.

And then he does this, right?

Well, but it's funny, though.

You know, it can be young people.

It can be, you know, just about anybody.

I think that some, you know, actors sometimes get on these platforms and they're like, you know,

I've got the answers for you.

And it's like, girl, you know, just, like, you know, do your thing, you know?

But, you know, I don't know.

But if it's really a hot guy that's, like, age-appropriate, I'm like, okay, cool.

He looks...

I don't know if you've ever seen...

I don't want to pull it up because I'm afraid to show things on my, you know, on my phone,

my personal passwords.

But he looks just like Charlie Chaplin when he was young.

It's weird.

Which makes me hate him even more because I like Charlie Chaplin.

Against familial demands and societal expectations.

This is another one of these monsters.

You will not...

I hate her so much.

And they all have these stupid titles.

One of my favorite stoic daddies, Marcus Aurelius, is quite famous for talking about how the quality of your reality...

Oh, and verbatim.

Verbatim.

...your thoughts.

And this is true.

Wait, why are they always in cars?

These brilliant advice givers, they're always in parked cars.

What the fuck?

Why are they not allowed to talk in their house?

They're always in cars.

You need to use the power of your consciousness.

To tell your subconscious mind what is going on.

Because it cannot distinguish between reality and imagination.

When you allow it to bring you into its...

You know what he just said to me?

What the fuck is she...

What?

You know what he just said to me?

What?

He said, suck...

He said, suck my balls.

He said, suck my balls?

That'd be all right.

I...

Somebody said I would fuck...

Somebody in my little telegram group said, oh, I would fuck him.

I said, you know when I would fuck...

There's only one hole I would fuck on him.

His left eye socket.

As many times as necessary.

Until your subconscious mind gets the thing.

Shut up.

Good morning.

Fuck you.

It's not morning.

What the fuck kind of...

Oh, this is what really gets me.

Like, he thinks because it's morning where he is when he's recording.

It's magically going to be morning when everyone watches this.

He clearly doesn't know how the internet works.

Asshole.

Fucking hate him.

You were bringing out...

You were bringing out a...

Okay.

A very...

You're bringing out Dahmer today, girl.

Okay.

Well, that's what...

That's what this is about.

It's the hate...

Eat him up, bitch.

Okay.

You get to pick the next one.

You want to pick...

Should we pick the most popular one with 1.1 million views?

You want to do that?

Gold in, gold out?

No, I put the one in the chat that you just can't understand.

Oh, the chat?

What chat?

But you're on the phone.

Oh, we have...

No, I can...

Oh, the chat.

I don't know.

That's going to be tricky.

Okay.

So, let me...

Okay.

This is tricky because I have technology involved.

This is why I wanted to be early, but I know you're not early.

Okay.

So, we'll get...

Let me see if I can figure this out on the fly.

I got to do another holder.

Hang on.

Hold on.

So, I'm going to do an image source.

No.

Video capture device.

Mac screen OS window.

So, say Safari window.

Okay.

And we want make source visible.

Well, why else would I make it if I don't want it to be visible?

Let's see here.

Apple window capture.

Yeah.

I'm just vamping.

That's why I'm talking.

And then we want...

This is Zoom now.

Safari, the fittest wizard.

Yeah.

Okay.

That should do it.

Let's see if that...

Okay.

Why...

Do you see it?

I don't think so.

I just see camera.

Oh, you won't see...

You don't see it because...

Yeah, you won't see it because it's on the thing.

The audience sees it, but you don't see it because...

No.

I have to...

But you're on...

Yeah.

You know what I can do?

I can pull it up on mine.

Yeah, but don't.

I know what to do.

Okay.

You could share your phone, but that would be kind of hard for me.

But what I'm going to do is I'm going to load it onto my phone.

So I just texted it.

I just put it in my holder.

I'm going to hopefully...

If I show you any passwords, please just don't remember.

Girl.

Yeah, but it's not just you.

This is live on YouTube, honey.

This is live.

It's live?

It's...

Oh, my God.

Yeah, this is live.

That's why I can't play any nice music.

I can't find...

It's not letting me copy the link.

Oh, you know, it's not...

I have a special security on my...

Anyway, the fittest wizard.

I'll just search for it on Instagram.

Fine.

I'll type.

Yeah.

But we have to come back to her and see the most...

The fittest wizard.

The...

I can't type because I have those old hands that can't type.

Fittest.

Oh, there.

Okay, what...

Okay, there.

Okay, what do we want to...

That's not the fittest wizard.

That's the scarecrow, right?

Wait, which one of these is it?

The one with the blonde.

The underscore fittest wizard?

Look at how many.

The one at the top.

Oh, the one at the top?

This one?

She's the top?

Oh, her.

Yeah.

Okay, which one am I looking at?

Which one do I want to see?

I don't know.

You're the one who told me years ago.

I can't stand it.

I don't remember from me.

I don't remember today.

Years ago.

The fittest wizard.

I don't hear any sound.

She's like, squonk.

I think I broke it.

I don't hear sound no more.

Did I turn off the sound?

You can't hear me?

I hear you.

I can't hear the fittest wizard.

Can't hear her.

I might not have the sound.

You hear?

Oh, I turned off the sound, I think.

That's right.

Oh, crap.

That's probably why.

Let me see.

Okay.

No.

Where's this live streaming on?

YouTube.

Oh, it's not a video.

I'm my mother.

How did I turn into her?

I played a still image.

Oh, there.

Oh, she's great.

Thanks.

Yeah, she's lifting a lot.

Is this what you like, probation?

You like this?

Well, it's the comparison.

It's a great body, but then the face is not really a cute face.

It looks like what?

Yeah.

That body is just choking me out.

You like that?

But her face?

It's like she could be lifting.

It's like a bunch of bricks.

She could be lifting her face, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

That was not worth all of the searching, but that's okay.

Let's find another one of her.

I need to find a video, because this is a video.

She's mostly still.

I mean, here.

How about this?

What's the body you wanted during the live?

What?

Insane films?

It's on the YouTube.

Yeah.

Insane films is the channel.

I posted it.

I posted it on my Twitter and my Facebook earlier, but there's nobody watching.

But if you watch it there, it's going to be delayed.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's delayed by a couple seconds.

Let me see.

Don't even ask.

It's embarrassing.

5,000.

Yeah.

Right.

Okay.

It's a new program.

But the thing is, when it's done, see, I stream it live, and then I delete it from, and then

I delete it completely from YouTube, because they're, they care on me.

So what I'll do is, what I do then, I post it on Insane Films, which is my permanent feed.

And that way I can say whatever the fuck I want to, right?

You know?

That's right.

So, and if you, that's my fucking TV controller.

Jesus.

I'm never going to get through these.

I have a lot to get through, and it's already.

All right.

Just go ahead.

And I'll just be like, boop, boop.

Okay.

Hey, girl.

Yeah.

I want one more asshole of this asshole, and we're going to do gold in, gold out, because

we both need to learn how to make money, right?

Okay, here.

Oh, wait.

Oh, she smokes, too?

Oh, no, that was a pen.

No.

Wait, sorry, I got to start over.

That information has no personal utility, and its energy is one of manufactured futility.

Anything that perpetuates hopelessness, ditch it.

Unfollow the gore, tune out of the gossip, leave the echo chambers, and surround yourself

with people, profiles, information that inspires you.

It inspires, uplifts, and empowers you.

Ah.

How about glamour?

Decide what comes in and what goes out.

Trash in, trash out.

Gold in, gold out.

Seriously?

This gets a million views?

Heartfelt intensity.

Reclaim your voice.

It gets a million views, really?

And use it with intention.

That's what it says?

Intention.

Oh, 66,000.

66,000 likes, but it's over a million views.

What's the news?

Oh, the news.

No.

What's the news?

That information has no personal utility, and its energy is-

Oh, don't watch the news.

Right.

Just watch people with eyes that don't match.

Hopelessness.

Hate her.

Ditch it.

With terrible, terrible music.

Tune out of the gossip.

Leave the echo-

Oh, he is just awful.

My God.

Okay.

Have you seen that one called Big O TV Live?

No.

You should do Big O TV Live.

No?

Okay.

No, I haven't.

Are you-

Girl, there are-

It's-

It's a live stream, and people will tip you on there.

I haven't done it, but I just-

Nobody will tip me.

Saw something about it.

Yeah.

That's for hot people.

Yeah.

It's-

You should look at-

No, look at it.

You don't-

It's not all-

What's it called?

It's not-

Big-

Big O Live.

Big O.

That's an orgasm.

Right?

Okay, let's watch this-

I guess, yeah, but it's one word.

Let's watch this Epcot bitch, because I've-

I have a feeling she's going to be all-

There's nothing worse than a-

Well, there's one thing worse than Disney gays, which is Disney moms.

So, let's see.

Okay.

Now we get early park entry to-

Epcot!

I wake up at 5 a.m., and it is Epcot day.

Ryan's already worked out.

I head straight down to the gym for a 20-minute workout-

Wait a minute.

Everybody's talking the same way.

We are early entry strategy park itinerary-

What?

Why do they talk so fast?

What is-

No, why do they all sound the same?

Because they're trying to-

I woke up this morning and-

Yeah.

First of all, because they're asking-

They're assholes.

Second of all, because they talk fast, because these things can only be like a minute, so

they have to get everything in instead of editing, I guess.

But mostly, I think it's because they're assholes.

Does that answer your question?

But it's a-

No, but-

Yeah.

I mean, it's partially, because-

Partially.

But the tone is the same.

It's like, da-da-da-da-da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

At 5.45 in the morning, I woke up and I went to Epcot Center, review Epcot early entry strategy, park tour guide, and park your layout.

You know?

Because everybody-

It all sounds the same.

Because it's all about algorithms, and what people do is they want to be popular.

They want their video to be popular.

So they figure out what other things are popular, and they just copy it.

That's how it works, and that's why it's so draining and horrible.

So let's finish this.

And the park layout.

And our matching Disney outfits are ready to go.

At 5.45 a.m., I get myself ready.

I French braid my hair because of the humidity.

The mini ears and tee are from Amazon.

Do we need to know that?

Wake up the boys at 6.45 a.m.

It is their last-

The kid is asleep in bed, and he doesn't mind that?

It's a child.

Got it.

Boarding group 55.

And our genie plus.

P.S.

All my tips are in my 200-page guide, A Mom's Guide to Disney World.

Can't you just pay for a ticket like anyone else instead of having to expose your whole family so you get a free ride on the goddamn Melissa McCarthy thing?

A four-minute walk to the International Union.

A one-way entrance that is closest to Remington.

What?

7.35 a.m. security and the kiosk let us in.

Who cares?

What?

Wasn't she the woman who was like, wasn't she arrested for killing her family at Disneyland?

Yeah, she's the one that she dressed up as an asshole for Christmas.

I mean Halloween.

I heard that Ratatouille ride has a three-hour wait.

That's what they said on the Chicago News.

So they do this so they don't have to wait in line for Ratatouille.

Fucking assholes.

That's bizarre.

I've never heard of that.

I heard she killed her kid.

I heard she killed her kid that I've got.

Family is sick.

She did, but this was before that, I guess.

I think she can't do these from jail.

Wait a minute, you were just not having these people.

You were just like, barf.

Well, that's the point, honey.

That's the point.

I hate them.

I don't know if there's anything personal in there.

I don't think there is, right?

Not your SM.

Just your Insta messages.

There's nothing personal in there.

But that would be.

Talking about your booty hole or anything like that?

My booty hole.

No, not really, but I think.

Girl, I got civilized in my hole.

No, I'm kidding.

My real name would be there.

Oh, you use your real name, so we won't do that.

Okay.

All right, let's do this.

Do you know what?

What are the kind of things they said?

I don't know what she's saying, but it's like, girl, your balls are out.

And obviously, that's the only point to this.

So it doesn't matter what you're saying.

You don't have to drink alcohol, never.

Excuse me?

Because.

Girls, her hairy balls.

Those are some hairy balls out.

Are you there?

I don't see any balls, girl.

They're there.

Where are the balls at?

They're in the pink thing, behind the pink.

Okay, all right.

I mean, okay, it's not the full-on ball, but it's scrote, right?

You're making a huge ass issue about these people.

You know they do that little, the crotch thing all the time.

That's the point.

They always do that.

But why do they, like, whatever he's talking about, I'm sure it's really important,

but does he need to be in that pose?

That is the weirdest pose I've ever seen.

And why does Instagram allow his side bowl?

Hmm?

Why?

It's low-level porn, girl.

That's why.

But I can't put in a video of me lip-syncing to fucking Karen Carpenter,

but he can.

Show side bowl.

The side bowl isn't covered by DCMA.

Oh, so this is what this is about.

This is a resentment because they took down your Karen Carpenter song.

Girl, just hate these people with me.

You know, that's all this is.

There's a lot of resentment.

We don't need to psychoanalyze me.

That's for my therapist.

These people are awful, and we need to destroy them.

And what is with the balls, the side bowl?

You like that, right?

You'd lick it.

No, I wouldn't.

You would lick the side bowl.

Am I right?

No, girl, I wouldn't lick the side bowl because, you know, you don't know where the side bowl has been.

I bet it stinks.

For one, but the side bowl stinks.

Side bowl always have a smell.

You know you smell it sometimes by accident, right?

No way.

I smell it by accident.

You know you wipe your finger down and get some side bowl smell, and you're like, woof.

Get a whiff of that, honey.

I've gotten to the point where I completely, like my own.

Yeah, you are.

Sure, your own side bowl.

Can somebody who speaks Spanish in my vast audience tell me what the fuck she's saying?

That's like my balls, bitch.

Yeah.

Yo tango side bowl y yo bebido mi vodka es muy bien.

It's just what bothers me is that they're pretending that there actually is something going on.

Like the only thing happening, and this is why it upsets me.

There's one thing happening in this video.

His balls, his side bowl, and his legs.

That's the whole thing.

We don't need him to talk, pretend he's doing a joke, drinking, whatever.

That's all just fake.

All he wants to do is show his side bowl and get people to click, you know, to see his side bowl.

Tomar alcohol nunca.

Por qué?

Family of six.

I'm not her again.

This is how we get early parking.

I don't know why it keeps returning to the ones I used.

Okay, I don't remember what this is, but I think this is.

Well, I know you really hate Britney.

Why don't you put Britney on?

Okay, not yet.

Not yet.

We'll get to her, but we have to get through this first.

Because this was my, I started to get on the advice, the advice chain.

So, here.

Not everyone at your workplace is your friend.

Do your job.

Get paid.

Go home.

And then.

Not everyone.

Okay, but who told you to wear that hat?

Because they weren't a friend either.

Or put those puffy things behind you.

Not a friend.

Who is this bitch?

Your workplace is your friend.

What do you think of her?

Do you like that?

Well, you know, I don't know if I necessarily like it.

But, I mean, it's the, you know, there is a lot of truth in that.

Yeah, it's true.

But who doesn't know that?

Who doesn't know that?

Really?

Oh, I thought everyone at work was my friend.

Really?

Oh.

There's some people who don't know that.

That explains why I just got fired.

Huh.

The thing would be, why doesn't she say, you know, what did she go through?

Right.

Where she's now like, not everybody's your friend, girl.

You know what?

I made friends with this one girl.

I took her out to lunch.

We hung out, everything.

And that bitch came back into work.

And she took my secrets that I was, you know, holding on to.

And she told everybody at work that she took my book out of my drawer.

Right.

And she did my, you know, she stole my job and shit.

Okay, not everybody is your friend.

Exactly.

I want to hear the tea.

I want the tea.

I don't want to hear the generalization.

But the generalization, look, 289,000 likes for this trite advice.

Do your job.

Get paid.

Go home.

I disagree with the first part.

Why I got to do my job?

Get paid.

Go home.

Well, I'm already home.

So I like, I'll just do number two.

Right?

Okay, just yeah, I don't know.

I can't see the booty.

Let me see.

Not everyone.

Let's see what else is in her.

Her name is Sharsha.

Oh, right.

I came out.

Okay.

I'm a good person.

I got a good.

Fuck you.

All right.

This pills have to swallow the shit was real.

Oh, she's in a car.

That never happens.

Sharsha is in a car.

I don't have no voice.

Oh, who needs to hear this?

But your own family.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you need a fucking noise reduction plug in stupid bitch.

It's going to talk track.

I mean, there are people that put actual work in their production.

This bitch does nothing and gets gazillions of views for her tried advice about you.

When you're.

I'm going to write.

I'm going to do this to probation.

I just wipe your ass after you take a shit and then flush.

Oh, aren't I smart?

Don't you just want to listen to me, bitch?

In the process.

You're breaking their generational curses and behavior.

Oh, fuck off.

All right.

So that's sure.

Sure.

But I like this.

Never let the family that you came from damage the family that comes from you.

Shut the fuck up.

Is she?

What?

Not everyone.

That's your department.

I don't know.

Can I do one more blood vice from a car?

Honey, let me tell you something.

Sometimes you need to remove people from the VIP section of your life and place them in

regular seating.

Because you bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.

Okay.

So, honey, remember that.

As you continue to be great in their face, place them in the nosebleed section where

they belong.

And as always, have a good day on purpose.

Honey, let me tell you.

What if I just put him in the backseat of my car?

Can I do that?

Just put him in the back of the car.

What if you just drove the car off a cliff?

Well, that shouldn't be a problem.

Because if it's sloped down, it ain't staying still with her.

You know, it's so funny, though.

It's like, I get the little memes that say all of this stuff.

Yeah.

And it's like, okay, somebody decades ago scripted all of this.

Right.

So, that's the thing that bothers me about it.

Yeah.

Is that they take it, they own it as if they've come up with it themselves.

They didn't come up with it themselves.

It's, you know, it's somebody else's, you know, platitudes.

But, you know, I would appreciate just, you know, just like the typed out words.

And I don't like the performative stuff.

Right.

You know, I don't even know who she is at this point.

But, you know, that's...

But that's...

But you're not...

But what about her?

This one, she looks like she's going to be fun.

My comment is living her best life in a car.

Here.

I have a message for all of my haters and everybody who ever doubted me.

I am currently living my best life.

Really?

So, suck it.

But don't choke.

I need you alive to see me win.

Thank you.

Do you really think she's living her best life in that car with a fog?

With the fog and the traffic?

I have a message for all of my haters and everybody who ever doubted me.

What?

And that...

But is she living?

Huh?

But is she living in the car?

That's her best life.

Or is she just...

Yeah.

She's living...

She's living in the car and it's her best life.

She got shopping bags, fast food, garbage.

That would be interesting.

That would be interesting to see, like, you know, do a segment where you have, like, these

people who do the van life and they do the car life.

You know, like, when I first moved to Los Angeles, I met a woman who was living in her

car at Griffith Park and had been living in her car at Griffith Park for two years.

When I met her, like, I don't know which, you know, she's moved out of the car, but she's

moved out of that car, but it's a whole thing, you know?

Oh, I love that stuff.

I used to watch those videos a lot.

So, yeah, I'd be into that.

But what's she doing at the store, though?

I'm going to put my favorite point, WW Stacks, starting with boiling eggs.

I swear to not prefer the pasture-raised organic bougie kind.

But, yeah, what works best for you?

Next, I'm going to do nuts and berries.

These give tons of energy, like, more energy than you would expect.

I got a root canal yesterday.

Why is this reminding me?

Is that one meal?

I'm hoping that it is these things between meals.

Oh, it's a...

She got a root canal.

I got a root canal.

Yeah.

Because this is a paid partnership for some shit.

I don't want...

Do you want...

Oh, never mind.

I'm going to get into so much trouble with this.

All right, next.

We'll get to Brittany.

Don't worry.

That's your reward.

I promise you, Brittany.

But I got to finish this advice cycle.

Yeah?

But the funny thing is, is that she's not going to be eating that.

As big as she is, she's going...

Oh, she ate a burger.

She'll probably go and...

Not even a...

She'll probably have a cake.

No.

There's...

The only way she can get that big...

Is if she's eating white flour and sugar.

Yeah.

She could be eating all the stuff she had there and be like...

You know, the weight drops off.

But she's eating white flour and sugar.

She's eating cake.

I'm going to put on my...

I'm going to switch...

Fat dress?

I'm going to switch cameras.

I just want to see...

Oh, no.

That is...

I'm going to turn off my avatar because I'm getting sick of looking at myself with a yarmulke.

Hang on.

I hope this is okay.

Do you have a real yarmulke on?

Yeah.

There's me.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't...

I don't know.

What's happening?

Oh, my microphone is floating in space.

There I am.

You look like a prostitute.

That's right.

Yeah.

So, now I can say this is where you're...

This is...

I'm just as...

Okay.

Here.

Wait.

What happened?

Oh.

The sound wasn't turned up.

Oh, my goodness.

This is for all of my haters and everybody...

Always remember...

What?

Someone who hates you normally hates you for one of three reasons.

Oh.

They see you as a threat.

Yeah.

They hate themselves.

Or...

Or maybe you're just an asshole.

They want to be you.

Always remember someone who hates you normally...

What is that pose and her thumbs?

It's like she's so carefully...

I don't know.

Like, is that choreographed?

What's going on?

Like...

Yeah.

Do it again.

Right.

I don't know what happened.

All right.

They hate themselves or they want to be you.

Always remember...

Always remember.

Yeah.

I'm pretty sure.

She's not...

Wait a minute.

Wait.

Yeah.

Someone who hates...

She's not as bad as this one woman.

She's...

She would be like, the thing about life is that people see you and they don't want to

admit that they're not you.

Who says that?

Oprah?

That's horrible.

This crazy...

This one woman and she, you know, she says these things over and over again.

And she's...

And every time she posts, she's in a different outfit.

Well, I need her.

And it's like...

I need her.

Sometimes I...

Let me...

Let me see if I can find it.

Yeah.

Just get...

But every time I go...

Every time I go past her page, you know, I see her coming up.

I'm like, she's in a different outfit.

I kind of get scared.

Like, she could actually see me through the...

She could see me through the camera.

Like Ron Perot?

Right.

Yeah.

Maybe she can.

Maybe she can see me.

All right.

I want to show you this bitch because she's real annoying.

Oh, wait.

Shut up.

I got to fix the sound.

Right.

Oh, I keep forgetting.

They hate themselves.

Here we go.

Someone out there is actually putting in way less effort than you are in making the same

amount.

So, why are you working so hard?

You should stop.

You should act your wage.

Act your wage.

Anyways.

That's it.

Okay.

Bye.

Oh, hey.

A quick reminder.

Someone out there is actually putting in way less effort than you are.

I have to admit, so far of all the people I've done so far, I like her the most.

Like, like her without irony.

Yeah.

I like that attitude.

You said like...

Yeah.

What did she say though?

Act your age?

Act your wage.

Don't work too hard.

Act your...

Wage.

Oh, act your wage.

Wage.

Like, don't work too hard.

You're not getting paid...

You're only...

You're only getting paid to make fries.

You're not getting paid to...

But you know what?

Yeah.

But that's...

You know, I will have to say, that's a white person's mentality though.

Is it?

Child, the first person to be fired is a black person.

If they're like, I'm acting my wage, honey.

Can somebody bring me a cocktail?

I'm going to sit down for a minute.

I'm taking a beer break.

Is she white though?

She doesn't look white to me.

Anyways.

That's it.

Okay.

Bye.

Oh.

Because...

Hey.

Reminder.

Yeah.

Why is she covering her vagina with her hands?

Something going on?

She's been masturbating all day.

Oh, me too.

Now, this one...

Now, first of all, some of these, I don't...

We don't punch down, right?

So, this is somebody I really enjoy and I just want to share her advice.

Yes.

So, this is somebody I really enjoy and I just want to share her advice.

Over two years in recovery from two eating disorders.

I'm reading it out loud because some people might be listening to this only.

Having weight loss surgery at 13.

She recovered from that.

20 plus years of self-hate and blame.

Recovered from that.

And that's it.

So, you see she's recovered, right?

Yeah.

She is not recovered.

She still looks like she's on 600-pound life.

We don't punch down, Barbasha.

We don't punch down, but we're honest, though.

You know what she looks like to me?

She looks like 60 minutes.

She's on 600...

She looks like she's on 600-pound life part two.

No.

She looks...

Part two.

To me, she looks like 60 minutes.

Like the whole show.

The set.

You know.

Jessica Savage.

Andy Rooney.

Anderson Cooper.

Ed Bradley.

Morley Safer.

She's the whole damn 60 minutes in that dress.

What?

Excuse me?

600-pound life part two.

Part two.

She's the other 600-pound.

Shine bright like a diamond.

Okay, so this...

Life after my 600-pound life.

What'd you say?

My 600-pound after life?

Life after my 600-pound life.

Yeah, that's called death.

I doubled down.

I don't know why I put this one in the queue, but I did here.

I'm Tyler Dantema with Underwear Expert.

And we are here on the streets of P-Town asking boys what they are sporting today.

What's your name?

Tyler Dantema.

What's your name?

Tyler Dantema.

What's your name?

I'm Alex.

Alex, nice to meet you.

Have you heard of Underworks before?

I have, yes.

Awesome.

What do you know about Underworks?

I know that you are a subscription-based underwear service, so you can kind of change things

up underwear as you please.

I was just advertising.

But the thing is, it's like a whole meme of like people at, you know, interviewing people

on the street.

You're doing my job for me.

I love to see it.

Yeah.

What sort of styles do you like to wear?

I like jock straps.

I like the freedom, you know, it's like a bits in the front, part in the back.

Do you have any favorite colors or patterns?

Bits in the front, part in the back.

Okay.

I like black and blue.

I'm optimistic in that aspect.

Sorry, that's not fun.

Now this one, I had her on last week, I know you didn't watch.

But I want you to think about her cause this one, nobody else is bothered by her, what

I am about to show you, Barbasha.

But she bothers me so much.

She's clearly such a gender dysphoria.

And then she, in this one, I want you to notice the vagina grab.

And think, tell me what you think about the whole scene.

Here we go.

oh yeah get a girl oh yeah pump that air pump that air

what what bothers me the most and i'll let you comment

because this is for you i i why does she grab her vagina i it's clearly a case of

undiagnosed gender dysphoria because she grabs her vagina she doesn't grab a dick

she grabs her vagina what do you think what do you think you like her

no i mean it's you know it's good after a while you just kind of get numbed all of it everybody

all everybody dances the same way yeah she dances like britney britney dances like that

britney can dance like britney because she's britney right because she's britney yeah and

she is a little bit crazy i mean come on she's yeah i love miss britney but i mean i don't think

people would love her she was wasn't crazy yeah you know i don't love her the only reason i watch

her is because you forced me to watch her that's the only reason i don't understand that but it

was a gift we'll get to her it was a gift now this queen i'm gonna show this queen i'm gonna

show you is one of the other people that i find very disturbing

i'm not even gonna comment on this i probably will but i'm gonna try not to and i just want

to know what you think of this mess why is it why is there no sound oh i don't hear it oh because

i turned it off every time i make the same

okay

okay tell me what you think of her please i don't know it sounded like a satanic ritual

what do you think about is going on with her size and her facial expression

to me she looks kind of like an ostrich or something it's just i don't get it does she

look like an intelligent person to you just from the looks of things i don't know well yeah i don't

you know when they start doing all of this you don't know they haven't had a conversation with

them you have no idea what's going on with them you don't know what's going on with them you don't

have any idea if they're intelligent or not all you know you they really put themselves out there

as like you know once you get it in bed this is what i'm gonna do with it imagine myself with no

clothes on you know they're giving you a satanic uh ritual that they're doing a chat in the

background yeah you know well at least her shoes match her her her blouse i guess right that's good

she's giving you big foot let me just check her her like reels here or her stories oh a

look at her boyness oh she always does this position and there's always people look behind

her look at the guy behind her at the gym you see that can you imagine you're this guy doing sit-ups

who is this bitch who is this bitch in the green thrusting and gyrating

oh she doesn't want negativity well you're gonna get it honey

i'm talking so many people

ew that's the most irritating thing to see people

set up with cameras at the gym i'm like bitch there's not that much room here and you're gonna

set up with camera and be like okay well you're gonna you're gonna i'll probably be in the shot

and like you know bitch no i love i love these when it says new reel like you're watching it

we know or it'll be like new post and they'll put a cover over it as like and you click and

you see the post we who cares you know so it's the first time i've seen it oh yeah you're not

okay this is the almost okay almost to britney i don't understand one way we push each other to

work out without fighting or pissing no this this to me is a case of domestic abuse and you can tell

me if you agree each other off wait i'm gonna start over one way we push each other to work

out without fighting or pissing each other off i let max push me i ask for permission one question

i ask is i know you don't want to work out and feel like it but do you want the feeling of having

done it at the end of the day if i answer yes that's giving him permission to push me if i

answer no that's he's cute to leave me alone read the caption for the next practical thing

that i do to help without causing a fight one what the fuck what the fuck is that asshole shit you

know like if he has to it's all about permission he's abusing her he's clearly being the fact that

work out harder bitch and he has a his face looks like he has a couple extra chromosomes i'm saying

you know what i mean okay thoughts okay what do you think i'm trying to find this woman the guilt

one the spiritually the one that i i'm kind of i think her name is pauline or something like that

okay but i need you to watch this one next because this is very awful too

what is that the one with the squirrel no no i forgot about squirrel i haven't done her yet

but look at this so this is just a guy with a horrible neck tattoo

the biggest red flag is tattooed

the biggest red flag when you meet someone he's not doing anything

they still live with their ex but and then it just goes away i couldn't even

he does a hand movement like he's fucking someone

like sometimes they're just so bad they still live with their ex but they're still together

not together i can't even read it it's so fast

it's just i don't get it do you get it i don't get it

i don't get it but such a half-assed thing okay but you know my favorite is purple doll but you

won't put her on well i don't where did you favorite it no no i that's one of the the ones

that i sent you the video that i said yeah i'll get to that okay hold on this is the last one

then i'll go to britney i promise

that's a mess girl like i don't even know what you're talking about i don't even know what you're

talking about i don't understand how did this the thing is this guy has gotten is that his boyfriend

yeah i guess i don't understand it like what is going on is some guy eating mcdonald's in turkey

and then he's making 500 burgers what's up yeah i mean it's bizarre but i guess this guy is like

really popular makes like hundreds of thousands of dollars a month just eating like massive

amounts of food oh really

skinny before he started yeah the fat one at the beginning he was skinny before he started

and now he's just like this binger so this has 4.3 million likes which means i must yeah i don't

even get it i don't get it what i'm assuming it's like you know what you fuck you making money off

of being a binge eater take this food and give it to the people that need it oh i see you you know

no

yeah so that first guy waste fucking food you fat bitch oh see i never even saw that horrible

guy that's like a real thing i thought they were just making fun of him yeah now this guy's like

he's a gainer yeah yeah so he's destroying his own health so that he can be famous on youtube

for a day thousands well he's been at it for a while and making thousands of dollars i forget

what what is his name is and how much money he makes but he's making thousands of dollars

he makes makes bank well i like one of those turkish burgers yeah i think i think he's on that

big o that the big i told you that the app that does uh live streaming yeah and he live streams

himself eating he's like right up there with um mr uh what what's that guy's name geuity face

no the guy the one who does mr turd turd he's he's

the one who does mr turd turd turd he's he's the guy who does

The one who does Mr.

Turd?

He does all the million dollar challenges.

I took my screen off so I can find your Instagram without having to show your shit.

Wait, hold on.

Where's my chat shit?

Why do you use your real name?

Isn't that crazy?

You shouldn't do that.

Oh, the Chris Christie?

He was the original YouTube dude, right?

Her.

She was the original.

Why don't I hear nothing?

Was there music here?

Oh, the same reason.

You can't look up Britney.

You just showed my name.

I didn't show your name.

Did I?

Yeah, you did.

I just saw you.

Where?

It was at the top of the page.

What?

You sure?

Rhythm is a dancer.

You know this, so really, Chris Christie started all this TikTok shit, because this is years ago, right?

I'm not sure.

Yeah, I did.

Okay, I'll fix that so that I won't show you.

I don't see how I don't think I did, but okay, right there.

Oh, you can see that.

No, no, no, you can't.

But the audience can't see that.

See, I moved it off the screen.

The street.

If you look at the YouTube stream, that's not on there.

Yeah.

See, I switched.

You can't see, but that's not on, because you're not seeing what's on the stream.

I switched it to a different monitor.

Yeah, they don't see that.

They don't see that.

Oh, no, please.

Yeah, but anyway, let me see.

What else?

Yeah, they don't see that.

You'll see on the, if you watch the after thing, you'll see that's not there.

Okay, what else?

Do you want to see the family going out for a tour, or which one?

Oh, this bitch?

This horrible Spider-Man lady?

How about her?

I love the person in the shoe line, like, looking at him.

Did you see that?

Yeah, see that?

That's something.

Oh, that's.

He's like, what's going on there?

That is hilarious.

See, with this stuff, I have to, like.

I don't think any of those videos.

I'm looking online now at the playback.

And none of them are showing from your YouTube page.

Oh, there he goes.

Yeah, no, because you have a delay.

That's what I told you.

Yeah, they're showing.

Now, what's happening here in this one?

I'm going to move it back.

See, because I'm not showing when I have your name on the screen.

That's why I'm doing it that way.

So, it's fine.

No more.

So, I don't know what's happening here.

Why are these obese people chasing chickens?

Do you know?

See, I thought you would like.

I like that because you like chickens and fat people, so that was a double-hatter for you.

Yeah, but my mind was like, are they going to eat them?

I thought they were just going to shove them in their mouth.

What are they doing with the chickens?

Why are they chasing them?

And they're not working very hard to chase them, are they?

No.

They can't move that fast.

Yeah.

That time it was on the screen.

Oops.

So, that I'll have to remove, but now it's off the screen.

All right.

One more of yours.

Next time, I'll just, I'll put these offline into my holder so I don't have to.

And you kind of, yeah.

Your girlfriend.

What is that?

Her boyfriend?

Start at the blue, bro.

There we go.

Okay, cool.

There we go.

Okay, cool.

Cool.

Is it recording?

Yeah.

I don't really see the light.

It's recording.

All right, Dave, go away.

And you kind of, yeah.

This show is such a mess, though.

I'm watching.

Watching.

Watching another video.

And here we are with Brittany.

It's impossible.

Brittany's giving you.

I don't understand, like, what, like, to me, when I see that, I think it can't possibly

really be Brittany because she's so awful.

Like, how could somebody?

Like, she goes on stage and gives, you know, a great performance.

Everybody knows that.

But then she's this asshole.

You know what I mean?

Like, she's just any old, like, desperate for attention loser.

That's what, that's what's, I guess that's the attraction, right?

Is that, is that what it is?

You know what I mean?

Is that what it is?

Well, I don't know.

I think so.

Barbark are dead, girl.

Girl, my clock's gone off again.

It might be time for me to go.

Oh, we're off.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my.

Give me a couple more.

Okay, let me do a couple more and then you can know.

Okay, I wanted you to see this foot.

See that?

Girl, she got six toes.

She got six toes.

Is that, like, a toe on top of it?

Yeah, and hairy, too.

And she's showing it to somebody in the airplane.

Do you like that?

You like all that toe?

Oh, my God.

You are a mess.

See, girl.

What about this?

This bothers me because Nasty Pig used to be a brand for fat guys,

and now they're marketing it towards guys with abs.

That's why I have this one.

Like, Nasty Pig is supposed to be fat gay clothes.

Like, finally a brand for fat gay people,

and then they have to ruin it and make it for hot.

Gay men.

That's end of rant there.

You need.

What?

You need Jesus.

To lose weight.

Everything, girl.

You need Jesus.

Look at this girl.

She's spazzed out.

Look at this girl.

This is the stuff I have to scroll by on the thing.

I have to remind myself of the fat bitches.

I'll remind you.

What is going on with her?

She's, like,

thrusting.

I have no idea.

I don't either.

Don't you have a wife at home that's, like,

Latino?

What about this?

This is a wonderful mom.

You wear that outfit or not?

No.

If I had that body, I'd be in a muumuu, bitch.

Are you kidding me?

Let's see what else.

Real quick.

Oh, this.

I don't understand this look, either.

What about her?

You like that?

What's in that fanny pack?

The fanny pack is a distraction to make sure that people, you know.

Have you seen people wear, like, a towel in the front?

No.

They like to wear, like, tights.

Why?

But then they'll wear a towel in the front, so you're not looking at their crotch.

Why would I want to...

Why?

Why would I...

Why would you dress like that if you don't want people to look at your crotch?

I don't know.

And, first...

And, secondly, why would you look dressed like that, period?

And what's in there?

We have people...

You know, we have people in the world that, you know, engage with Trump.

Ugh.

And it's just such a far-reaching, you know, like, how all these people are here.

But I know that the only thing that I can do for myself, and this is my little meme...

Yeah.

...is just drop my expectations.

I love that the girl next to him is wearing a mask.

Like, is that because of him?

And why is there this, like, see-through patch on his left leg?

What's going on there?

Is that a hole?

You see that?

I don't know.

That's...

I think there's a hole.

It's a whole bunch of different things.

It's a whole bunch of...

And then these queens, they do, like, their...

Their Air...

AirPod Max is, like, a status symbol at the gym.

I love that look, too.

Yeah.

So do they, too, right?

Like...

What is the AirPod Max?

...the headphone he's wearing.

Apple AirPod's Max.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

That's a whole thing.

Yeah.

That's just too much.

Right.

Real quick.

Almost done.

Oh, this...

No.

We need to talk about this, and then I promise I'm almost done.

This fucking blue ivy shit, I'm so sick of Beyonce.

We are alone.

Everyone loves blue ivy.

It's fucking Christina, honey.

This is mommy dearest all over again.

Why doesn't nobody see it?

she is abusing that girl let her have a summer you don't throw her on stage that poor little

girl but she's 12 years old throwing her on stage she needs to have her childhood

leave alone because she can't she's she can't dance well why is she on stage

because i'll pay her ex pay her a paycheck and so she's got a paycheck this is the mommy dearest

shit i can't wait to read her book oh she did the heart sign i cannot wait to read her book

she's gonna destroy beyonce i couldn't imagine being a dancer and behind them and yeah what is

that dancer behind her wearing though why she got that double fanny pack hip she just stood there to

make beyonce look thin i don't know but it's just you know i couldn't imagine being a dancer and

like going years and years to dance school yeah to then be in a beyonce

you

like i'm in beyonce too and then her damn child comes out who's stiff as a board looking like a

you know an anorexic scare anorexic scarecrow yeah but you know so i mean but that's my

expectation i i have to drop my expectation i expect her to have a ass at home are you

gonna make a youtube about expectations are you gonna do that you can make a youtube about

i mean a tiktok expectations are really bad you shouldn't have those the end giving my millions

of dollars

now and by the way act your wage stupid bitch anyway okay i think it's what i probably will

you know i'll probably make some um um videos about um mattress encasements because people need

those and so i'm everybody needs mattress encasements i wonder what a good name for one

would be do you know

prostitution alley sit your ass down here it's waterproof

whorehole.mattress.encasement.fr i think you need a french domain for that shit

now next time can we please have you make an avatar like me you know a nice one nice avatar

i have if i have to i got another i've but i made one for you when are you going out of town

uh not telling not telling okay i don't talk about

that because i'm always afraid people are going to rob me if i say when i'm leaving town it's my

thing got it yeah i get it nobody would be like trying to beat down the door to get into this

place how about this is that this wouldn't you could use yeah you know that looks like that

looks like alice singleton alice singletary who's that she lives in she lives in chicago she's

our our friend billy introduced me to alice yeah you can customize i'm gonna get the

problem is i'm not going to be able to do that i'm not going to be able to do that i'm not going to

is they don't let them be fat or old so it ruined i can't do shit but they do have some nice head

coverings let me do a head covering let me see yeah this one that's cool how about this you like

that is that a good look for me for you you get that i see that do you put that on in the morning

oh look at me did you see that one story they said that this woman was uh that a white woman

stole the idea now she sells those head wraps for seventy five dollars a piece when they

were they've been around for decades when there is like thirty cents at the walgreens

exactly oh my god for seventy five thousand dollars all right probation well thank you

for being on here i'll be at late and um you know it's fine i wish i had you know if you if you want

to do resentments yeah i want to do resentments let me send you a list of things that i really

resent i you know yeah people i don't really you know people are gonna do crazy but what kind of

resentments you gonna send me instagram things or what like what are you thinking no my resentments

when you said himbo's i thought you meant like straight men who have sex with um gay men that's

what i thought you meant with himbo's that's where your mind goes that's a whole i can't look at

myself i'm way too ugly this is with the this is with the youth filter and i still look this

fucking old jesus christ this is not good

they need better filters on zoom you don't look old do you dye your hair no i don't dye my hair

i need to my father thought i dyed my hair he's dead now he thought i dyed my hair he didn't

believe me because he people did your father died three years ago no five years ago six years ago

well i you don't need to know that but like he he was bald and bald people always make fun of my

hair you know because they bald

yeah i don't like myself this is what look see my appearance filters all the way up now i'm gonna

turn it down even worse i don't know that's that's all in your head you don't look bad

thanks i'm not gonna i'm not i'm not gonna fuck you but you don't look bad

unfuckable yeah let me see i need a better background wait a minute my father

talking about fathers my father told me that no i ran away when i was in high school

went to stay with somebody's as a friend's

house and and uh glenn ellen yeah when their parents were out of town for like a week or

something like that straight you know straight guy who was like i'll have some sex with you but

you know we never had any sex because it was just yeah awkward but i came home after that week and

my father said see nobody would see nobody would want you i was like yeah yeah and so i held on to

that one for a long time so you know yeah that's a little bit of a thing but i don't know i don't

get different than you know your hair looks your hair looks great it's not great

yeah get off yourself bitch somebody wrote a comment dang that other guy sounds like tarik

who is tarik i have no idea not all black people do not sound alike who is tarik what does it say

dang that other guy sounds like i don't know let's google it google it i can't i can't

wait i want to get a better face

hold on there's that now i'm happy i got happy faces you like that

oh you got the happy faces yeah i got the happy there's some dog here i'm gay

i don't understand that

um i have to yeah who's tarik i don't know i'm trying to find out because tarik is just

the first

name but there's a tarik nasheed on here hit uh an actor is that who they mean i don't know but

i'm a pirate now i don't know who tarik is they whoever it is much of life there's only two people

watching left and i'm one of them oh this is sad but in post i'm sure that once this is on the

podcast there'll be millions of views you like my outfit there wait a minute it says there's a

couple people here because worldwide web wizard said something and then listens at night yeah

i forgot who verbatim was enjoy her a lot she's thank you thank you doll well there's this thing

called time and as it passes people leave they come oh look i love this this is cute right

that's cute that's a little bonnet it's not racial is it that's like a mickey mouse thing

right what is this that's oh and now i'm in a room right i'm on the tv is it like a mom's

thing yeah i love mom's maybe i've got a couple of her

ones i love her i should play her i've been really into joni mitchell lately though

about this oh that's amazing don't you love joni mitchell i can't i want to play her but i can't

because i'm afraid it'll turn off the stream although i should try it and see if they shut

up that's a good experiment you know at the end of the show i'm gonna see if they'll turn on the

uh if i can play joni mitchell if they'll turn it off it was yeah there was one um two things

there was

two things yeah kathy woods is like you know she's arc invest oh and then there's

yeah and then there's uh invest this guy invest answers uh i think his name is jeff or something

anyway they they do they did some kind of a live stream yeah talking about investments

there's some jokers from wherever who take that stream and then repost it and make it look like

it's

like happening right now yeah and they'll put things on the side like kathy woods says that

if you send them a bitcoin oh yeah they will send you back too i'm like what the fuck i've seen that

shit all the time yes but i want to show you something because we're still here i thought

you had to go but since we're still here i gotta show you something real good wait i gotta get

myself a nice avatar and then we're gonna do this so this was actually the best one i can't believe

i didn't show it to you you're still looking at the screen right

mm-hmm

okay wait oh wait i'm actually oh wait okay wait

what is this it's a cheer

it's a cheer

.

you know what it reminds me of my college days like i'm still friends with a couple of people

from college that we were just party party buddies and that's that was our thing it was

like you know boom i got your boyfriend i got your man i got him and we would literally have

like these competitions lucy and i was like oh my god i got your boyfriend i got your man i got him

yeah we've copped drunk drunken competitions of like you know trying to get sleep with somebody's

husband

did you videotape it somebody's boyfriend back we were like in our 20s okay i wanna i know you know

this lady she's like some crazy jesus bitch with but she's got the joker mouth and we're gonna

watch her now okay ready not her ready three two one bro you're never free until you no longer have

a need to impress people

you don't need to live to impress one another we need to learn how to be free to be ourselves

oh girl you're never free until you no longer have a need what she got me through so much

you liar i'm serious like like right when i got out of college i mean i would listen to her because

she was like i fit i began my ministry in my room but look at the comments and i really struggle

with this i try to remind myself that god's love and approval is more than enough but i continue

to try to impress people all for jesus this made my day thank you heart prayer sign joyce amen

absolutely did you get the message what people people please there are men pleasers like you know

who am i please you know because

that is a whole thing you know people uh that you could be a people pleaser

or you could be a joker you know you could be a people pleaser or you could have a joker mouth

right leave her alone i didn't never i think so you no longer have a need to impress what she's

dead she used to be heavier and so i don't think i really noticed the joker mouth back then because

she had like a chubby cheek please she's had it for years let me see let me find one that's

super popular this is a nice close-up of her good

good face i want to encourage you to start approaching the word in a different way i'm

going to encourage you when you approach the word of god when you go to open it up

open what up that you my lips act like it's medicine

you go to your medicine cabinet at home if people still have those

they do if you have a headache you don't get like she don't have a medicine cabinet

i could cut your finger you don't stick an aspirin in it

what you'd like this

lady for real she got you through i i she got me through stuff but i needed to go and find

something different after her you know after a while i was like okay i can't you know but i

listened to her for a long time i yeah i remember going i was working at a social services agency in

chicago yeah uh right out of college and i would listen to her like every night you know because

those bitches were driving me crazy it was you know an agency that was hold on this one looks

real good hang on

i was really in depression bad and um

she said somebody came in her mouth life and the word came on

is that you

you're so offended people when they're hurting get cranky and grouchy and they don't want to

be around anybody and they take it out on everybody else amen

now you're talking to me

my language bitch that's exactly what i'm doing

yeah a lot who didn't like even the bible even says about jesus that

the anointing qualified him who's her plastic surgeon what happened well

she might have bells palsy she might just be ugly and have a terrible plastic surgeon

um you just love her i have no idea you love this lady

joice well not i haven't heard her in years it's probably been about you know 20 years today

that have been rejected a few times and it's been painful god she speaks to me i've been full of

compassion calm i need to edit that our god is full of calm many problems caused in my life

because of what happened to me truth is armor when you start walking in the truth well as most

of you know she's an std sexual

trauma she went through sexual traumas that that's what i had to invite in the mouth i guess

is that how her mouth got ripped and sewn back well go back to the first one that you show with

her and that the girl i don't i don't know why she was laughing at her the one the one with the

gun the cum in her mouth or whatever she's like i was about to kill myself and then joyce was like

ha ha ha bitch oh i think that was me but okay hang on let me get to it no i lost it now

is that it romans is that it no that's not it that's not i gotta go oh here she is really in

depression bad and um i had a gun in my mouth and i was ready to kill myself and my foot hit the

remote and life of the word came on sat in the refiner she's like what did she say and lo and

behold there was one of them and she was like what did she say and lo and behold there was one of

them are jumping around cr cree was acknowledge people are laughing just because they knew her

went she's got some point she's not the same you wanna go yes or no it's unexpected liamazzy

not asking you that every call i'm iceamiento and lawyer's

it's all ''эхbean horries''

something yes sir

ring表

the

i was

really in depression bad and um i had a gun in my mouth and i was ready to kill myself and my foot hit the remote in life and the word came on

she's laughing her

sat the refiner coming up

He always sees all, hears all, and touches all.

But the last thing that I wanted to say is the trial for the Idaho college killing suspect, Ryan Koberger, have been delayed indefinitely.

Oh, no.

And the reason?

Yeah.

What's the reason?

Collegiate moot court finals.

What does that mean?

Like Harvard, like when they train the lawyers, they have what's called a moot court, which is, and they compete.

A mock court.

Yeah, but it's called moot court.

Okay.

But it is a mock court, but they call it moot.

And so she's, you know, he's got, you'd have to see it.

Is this an affirmative action thing you're talking about?

Affirmative action.

You are such a racist.

It's like, you know, child, I'm over here working my ass off because nobody is giving me affirmative action.

And you're like, is that an affirmative action?

Act your wage, girl.

Act your wage.

Oh, God.

If I were white, if I was white.

And you are looking in all the wrong places for fulfillment.

I have this friend.

Why is she going to talk so mean?

Like, huh?

She talks like a big old butch.

I have this friend who's like, you know, I'm depressed, you know, and he takes antidepressants.

Fine.

No big deal.

But the fact of the matter is he's like squirrel, you know, just like distracted all day long.

Squirrel.

Like distracted, distracted all day long.

And, you know, fully is like in the faith that someone is just going to hand him a job.

Oh, wow.

And probably at some point, some other white person will.

Hand him a job.

Yeah.

Well, that's how it works for me.

They'll say, you know, we went through like 20 black applicants.

We couldn't find anything.

Yeah.

Thank God that affirmative action's over.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

I have somebody, a family member who's actually in the HR business in a very, you know, let's just say highway, like upper echelons of that sort of society with the HR.

She, her, her department's being sued because they do diversity inclusion.

So they're being sued because they're, they're doing affirmative action.

And the same guy who's like suing Harvard, you know, they saw this case, you know, with, with the Supreme court saying, you know, that, that college admissions don't have to do affirmative action as like a sign that any affirmative action, like any diversity hires is bad.

So they sued this person's company.

Which is a big reputable company in the, and you know, because they're hiring people of color, you know, it's insane.

Anyway, thanks.

I got to go.

I think my wife is waiting for me to cook my salmon.

I got a fish to cook.

That's not a metaphor.

It's not a metaphor.

I've been, I've been having, uh, tilapia.

Oof.

That's, that's a nasty fish.

I mean, you go girl.

Well, you know, it's, it's the routine.

It's, it's, it's tilapia, chicken, um, cancer, turkey, ground, turkey, rice, and, and broccoli.

And that's, you know, humans need diverse diet.

We are hunter gatherers.

We need a diverse diet.

Not the same thing over and over.

Okay.

You, you, you do you girl.

I'm going to get a big smiley face surgery and I'm going to give everyone advice.

There's my, that's my.

It's a theme song, so I got to go.

Oh no, it's the wrong theme.

This is the close one.

Well, go, well, make sure you get sexually molested first.

Okay.

I'll work on that.

Well, I got a bow in my hair, so I think I can.

Thanks, probation.

See you next time.

All right.

Bye.

You can hang up the phone.

I got to turn off the screen.

Stop.