TUTT 2011 E1 – Eliza Skinner of Nasty Cute

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Tracks Up the Tree, your old favorite back again for

a new season, 2011, episode one.

On today's show, we're going to be interviewing the lovely, the talented, the beautiful Eliza

Skinner.

We'll be asking her about her new move to L.A., her improv groups that she's with both

here in New York and out in L.A., Tyler Perry, because how can you have any, any podcast

without mentioning Tyler Perry?

And also, her new website and also internet phenomenon, Nasty Cute, with readings from

Nasty Cute by the one and only Eliza Skinner.

So, I hope you enjoy the show and this first song.

Enjoy.

Darling, you are all I need.

All I need.

You, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll stay if you ask me to, ask me to, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

We've spent the night out, long for a key, it drains the confidence out of me.

So let it show its way to a star, oh, say, will you have said it before?

Darling, you know I love you, I love you, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll stay if you ask me to, ask me to, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Standing there looking so sweet, told me that I'm crazy, then I see it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll stay if you ask me to, ask me to, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Those deep words break in the old mixed sounds, reminding me that I'm not around.

You know that I would never forget the days we spent and could ask.

Long for a pass, long for a pass, when we're through is all I ask.

Long for a pass.

Long for a pass, when we're through is all I ask.

Please let me through, we must be done to save, we must make you know the waves crash my soul asleep.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

Shebang.

Hi.

Hello.

Thank you for being on the show.

Thank you for having me.

This is Eliza Skinner.

If you don't know Eliza Skinner from her amazing website, ElizaSkinner.net.

Dot net.

This is Eliza Skinner.

Hello.

Hello, Eliza Skinner.

This is the internet.

I found White House.

I'm sorry I'm sick, so my voice sounds.

That's all right.

Sick.

That's all right.

Everybody's allowed to be sick.

I'm not doing my usual drinking of a beer.

It's a little bit early on a Sunday afternoon.

So you're back from Los Angeles.

Los Angeles.

Yeah, just for a couple of days.

Just came back for a show.

What show is that?

Baby Wants Candy.

Oh, I've never heard of it.

It's a musical improv group.

They've been around for about 13 years.

I've seen that a few times.

Yeah.

And we had a show in New York and they flew me out for that.

Very nice.

Yeah.

Very nice.

But how are you adjusting to L.A.?

I know that you've been a New Yorker for 10 years.

Mm-hmm.

And recently moved out to L.A., much to the chagrin of...

You.

Me.

Okay.

Mostly me.

But other people also.

A lot of other people were very upset to see you leave.

Yeah, I've been adjusting pretty well.

I've actually been in New York a bunch since I moved, so it's still a whole lot of back and forth.

But I really like it out there.

I mean, this is the best time of year to move there.

Right.

Because it's disgusting here in New York and snowy and super cold, like punishing from God cold.

I know.

And there it's 80 degrees.

I know.

That's every time I get an update.

Bitch, please.

Oh, that's so upsetting.

It's so upsetting.

I keep on thinking that New York is the best place to live if you want to complain about the weather.

Yeah.

It's just always, there's always something new.

Even if you like snow, there's reason enough to get frustrated by the lack of it or too much of it or...

Yeah, but there's two weeks in April and two weeks in September or October that it's beautiful.

Yes.

Oh, absolutely.

And then that's it.

So, yeah, the weather is really nice.

And the big...

Quality of life thing that I've noticed is that here in New York, things aren't that much cheaper in LA.

But here in New York, you have to buy whatever you can get on your block.

You know, if you need food or a colander or whatever, you just get what's in your neighborhood.

And in LA, you get in your car and you go...

To Colander City.

Yeah, to wherever you want to get the actual thing that you want.

And, you know, you have like some choice.

And a lot more freedom.

Yeah, I feel it's much more local here.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, which I guess should be good.

And it feels like a really stupid kind of thing to focus on.

But I like that.

Just being able to be where I want to be.

Also, you don't need to carry everything around in a gigantic bag all the time.

That's true.

Yeah.

That was starting to really hurt my back.

This is fascinating.

It's supposed to be a...

It's like being a turtle.

What?

Being a New Yorker.

Like you have to carry everything on your back all the time.

It's true.

I'm...

I have this blog that I follow that's these two girls in...

One is in Northern Virginia.

One is in Richmond, Virginia.

And I don't know where the other one is.

But they do this blog about what they're wearing all the time.

And one of them bought a new purse.

And she was like, is this purse too big for me?

And all these people commenting.

They were like, that purse is gigantic.

You can't wear that purse.

And I was like, really?

That's the way...

The regular size.

Yeah.

In New York, your purse has to be super gigantic.

Because it has to carry everything for your whole day.

Your purse carries everything that your car would.

Plus anything that you want.

That you would have made a trip home for.

Right.

And then you also have your strand bag or something else to carry all the other stuff.

And so you wind up sort of becoming a Sherpa around New York.

Yeah.

Carrying everything with you.

All your goods.

Yeah.

It's a step away from being a homeless person.

Being a New Yorker.

It's being a homeless person with a home.

Yeah.

So you love it here.

I do love it.

Well, I love parts of it.

And then there's other parts that make me crazy.

Being a New Yorker forever and ever and ever and ever.

Yeah.

You know, there are little bits that I miss about New York.

Especially cultural things.

But the other nice thing about being in L.A. is that, well, two things.

You know, I have a new city to explore.

Right.

Whereas I got to the point in New York where I felt like there was no street that I could walk down and be like,

Ooh, what's this?

What's this area?

What's this little?

There's always a street in Chinatown.

No, not even in Chinatown.

That's the sad part.

I walk down to Chinatown every time I walk down.

It's like, what?

What's this street?

Yeah.

No, well, because I worked on Wall Street for a while.

Just like temping on Wall Street for a while.

I got used to that area of the city, too.

Right.

And I was like, all right.

Well, I've used up this entire island.

Yeah.

I don't even know what's down there.

It's no man's land.

So it's nice to explore a new city.

And it's also nice to kind of redefine myself, my career.

Because in New York, I've done so much work with musical improv.

That's very much how I've been seen.

Right.

So I would try to get booked on a show as a stand-up.

And contact people who I've known for years and be like, hey, I'd love to do your show.

They're like, what are you, are you going to bring a piano?

I don't understand.

Are you coming with a group?

What are you going to do?

Like, stand-up.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah.

No, I've been doing stand-up for a couple of years now.

And in L.A., I'm like, yeah, can I do your stand-up show?

And they're like, great.

Okay.

Right.

You're a comedian.

We believe you.

You don't have to wear a mustache.

Yeah, I don't have to explain.

Okay, there's different aspects to what I do.

Well, let's explore more after another song.

Okay.

The first one was Long Boat Pass by a band that I just found out about called Tennis on the album Cape Dory.

And the next one is Got to Move by Cake off their new album, Showroom of Compassion, which I am, I'm not sold on yet.

But this is a good song, and I think you guys will enjoy it.

So.

Sit back and relax.

You have always got to move.

You're always trying to prove that there is something new in everything you do.

You are mostly in your car.

You always seem so far.

No matter where you are.

Yo.

Thinking of your car and everything you say is really just a play for you to get your way.

And I found out yesterday that no matter what you say and no matter what you do, that you have got to.

You have always got to move your racing just to prove that.

And I found out yesterday that no matter what you say and no matter what you do, that you have got to.

You have always got to move your racing just to prove that.

There is something new in everything you do.

You are mostly on the phone.

You say you're coming home.

You say you're all alone.

But I know you're not alone.

And everything you say is really just a play for you to get your way.

And I found out yesterday that no matter what you say and no matter what you do, that you have got to.

There's always something new in everything you say and no matter what you say and no matter what you do, that you have got to move.

Yo.

Thank you.

You have always got to move your racing just to prove that there is something new in everything you do.

You have always got to move the racing just to prove that

there is something new in everything you do.

You have always got to move the racing just to prove that

So, cake.

I'm still totally not sold on this album.

It sounds like they might be cake giants.

Whoa, I don't know if that's an insult.

They might be giant cakes.

I like that.

Also, it's making me hungry for tons of cake.

I prefer tiny cakes.

Really?

I would much rather have a pile of little tiny cakes than one big cake.

Yeah, I feel like with cake, the problem is consistency across the cake.

When you get a slice of cake, when you get to the outside, that's a whole mess.

I feel the same way about cake as I do about pancakes.

That's just too much.

But if you gave me a bunch of nickel-sized pancakes,

Right.

Yum.

That's not going to happen.

I hope you weren't expecting that.

No, not here, but someday.

Okay.

Well, that's all it takes.

And the thing is...

If I had known, I would have done this earlier.

I'm not crazy about cupcakes.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying if you could get me, like, again, quarter-sized little tiny cakes, I guess,

petit fours.

Petit fours are pretty close to that.

Right.

That would be great.

Why don't somebody make that as a candy?

Like, when I go to the movies, I want to get a little baggie of cake bites.

This is...

It feels like you're giving away...

Okay.

Genius ideas.

I can't keep them all inside my brain, Ben.

I get too many of them.

I know you do.

If they don't come out, I get all stuffed up like I am.

Oh.

Yeah.

It's adorable, right?

Yeah, it is.

Adorable and funny.

It is.

You seem like a very small person when you're all stuffed up.

Yeah.

On the radio or whatever this is.

Well...

On the podcast.

Yeah.

You sound very small.

I do live in an acorn underneath a buttercup.

Well, that is true.

The apartments are small in Los Angeles.

Yeah.

So, you moved out...

Right.

...with a group.

You started a group here in New York called Diamond Lion.

I did.

At the UCB Theater.

That's where...

Yes.

The Apprenticeship Theater.

Mm-hmm.

Down in Chelsea.

Correct.

And you were one of the few improvisers who actually moved out and brought the band...

Well, not really a band, but you brought Diamond Lion...

Sort of.

Um...

So, Diamond Lion started out as six people.

Yes?

I think so.

Yeah.

Three girls and three boys.

Definitely.

And Thomas Middleditch...

I put the group together and then Thomas moved out to L.A. and then I came out to L.A.

And so, by the time I went out there, he was already there.

Right.

And my friend, Eugene Cordero, who I've performed with for a very long time...

Right.

He's been in movies and stuff.

Oh, yes.

He's done lots of great, fun, awesome projects.

Sorry.

Very funny guy.

Yeah.

He was already out there.

Also, Thomas Middleditch is funny.

I don't want to...

Yeah.

No.

They're all awesome people.

He's a jerk.

Um...

But they were both...

Thomas moved out there and then Eugene was already there and I knew Eugene would be a

great fit.

So, I had him come start doing the shows and he really liked it and so he wanted to get

into it.

So, that's sort of our bulb basis...

For...

For the West Coast group.

Um...

Well, it's great because, again, all the people in Diamondland are really, really talented.

Right.

They're all established comedians and improvisers.

Yeah.

Very established.

And so, they're traveling a lot.

Right.

So, like next month, we've got two shows in...

I don't know how many shows they're doing here at the UCB in New York, but we're doing

two in LA.

And for the second one, Tara Copeland will be there.

Oh, great.

And I think Jeff Hiller will be out there also.

Who...

And they're both East Coast cast members.

Mm-hmm.

So, they'll be able to jump into the West Coast show.

And I think it's...

So, it's great for all of us and we are trying to bring in some more West Coast permanent

members.

Right.

Totally.

But so far, we've been getting shorter time slots there.

Mm-hmm.

And musical improv is...

It kind of takes more time than regular improv shows.

Right.

How so?

Well, because with a regular improv show, if you have like four scenes, and let's say

each of those scenes is about three minutes long, then you got like a 16-minute show,

16-minute set.

Right.

If you do musical improv, you're going to have those scenes and then there's going to

be a song.

So, you're going to add...

So, it like doubles the time.

So, we're used to doing hour-long shows.

And right now, they only have enough time in their schedule, at least in February, for

half-hour slots.

So, keeping the cast small helps us keep the show...

Totally.

...in line with the time slot.

Just a little bit more condensed.

Yeah.

And a little bit more active.

Yeah.

And focused.

So, it's a little bit more of a musical improv rather than stringing it out.

Right.

Just packed full of laughs.

It kind of is.

It's really...

It's super, super fun.

I've been...

Well, all those people out there are amazing improvisers.

Yeah.

I mean, I've been involved with a lot of different projects.

As I said, Baby Wants Candy is also a great musical improv show.

Right.

Absolutely.

But Diamond Lion has a great combination as a performer for me of all of the story and

music elements that some of the other shows have, but it's got a lot of freedom.

Right.

It's a very different show.

I mean, Baby Wants Candy is very narrative-based, and it's like watching a musical.

It's like watching a real musical.

It really is.

Yeah.

And if you watch it, I know that my parents have seen the show many times, and most of

the people I know have seen the show.

You would be hard-pressed at a Baby Wants Candy show to even understand that it's not

a written musical.

Yeah.

Because it seems totally written.

Yeah.

And everything is thought out.

You're like, wow, this is great.

And usually, they're actually better than musicals.

Well, I always ... I feel like they're better than musicals.

They're spontaneous.

And it has the full band, which is really exciting, too.

Right.

Last night, we did a show at the Soho Playhouse, a Baby Wants Candy show.

Is that where they're now?

That's where they are now.

Yeah.

That's where they're doing the shows now.

It was the first time that the band was facing us, and so it was the first time I got more

of an accurate idea of what the blend of the band is.

It sounds completely different than it always used to, so that was exciting, also.

But, yeah.

Baby Wants Candy is like a real musical.

Right.

And Diamond Lion is like an improv show with music in it.

Right.

Absolutely.

It's very much more ... And also, in Diamond Lion, you also do ... A guest comes.

Yeah.

That's really fun.

Normally, someone who's not a musical improviser ...

Exactly.

... is forced into singing a song.

Yeah.

A lot of songs.

Yeah.

Which is really, really fun.

And, it's surprising.

It kind of ...

Yeah.

It brings out some good stuff in those performers.

Sometimes, there are performers that I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm sure that person's going to

do great.

James Eason, he's going to do great in a Diamond Lion show.

No problem.

And then, I'll put in someone like Will Hines or Joe Wengert, who people are like, oh, really?

Doing a musical?

That's not what I would have expected them to do.

Right.

And they do gangbusters, also.

Right.

In really different ways.

I think, as a result of some of the Diamond Lion shows, Will Hines might have even been

asked to do Baby Wants Candy tour shows.

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

I think that those also, those people, all those people that you mentioned are sort of

these real pillars in the improv community.

Yeah.

And, they're extremely funny people, but they're not people that you would normally say, like,

these are the people who normally would sing songs.

Right.

By any stretch of the imagination.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I keep forgetting that this is such a weird niche world that I work in, that not everybody

knows all these people that I'm talking about.

That's what you're here to explain, all these loving people out there.

And so, we'll take another song break, and then we'll move in to even more news about

Les Skinner.

Well, we'll get to that in a minute.

Thank you, guys.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you.

Oh, to you, girl

Oh, you, girl

No matter how far this is going

Well, I just want you to know

That my heart will always be true

For you

guitar solo

I swear

True

Oh

guitar solo

That was

one of my

favorite

songs

by an artist

called Dirty Beaches

It's called True Blue

It's on an EP

called True Blue

Black and White

Sweet 17

Really good

I love

that song

I love

how lo-fi it is

All the songs

I'm playing tonight

are kind of

50s-esque

inspired

I've been really

into this sort of

new revival

of sort of

doo-wop

Cool, that's very hip

It's very hip

It's very hip and cool

I'm in the wrong

borough for it

I'm just

I'm in the wrong

borough for it

I just

am excited

about anything

that doesn't sound

like it was

auto-tuned to death

Yeah

I'm so sick

of all these pop songs

that sound like

they were

churned out of a machine

I think they are machines

I think all those people

who do it

I mean they're just so

they're so perfect

Yeah

I heard somebody

telling a story

I went to The Moth

last week in LA

which is a great

storytelling series

And podcast

and radio show

and this guy

told a story

that one of the

small details in it

was that he was

seeing a show

at a just small

music venue there

that his friends

were playing at

and they played

either right after

or right before

Katy Perry

the night that

Katy Perry kind of

got discovered

or signed

and it was just

so weird to me

to think of her

playing in some

little clubs

I guess that's

I guess pop stars

have to do that too

they don't just

I don't know

get dropped off

by their parents

I don't know

what I thought it was

Or by the stork

I assume they're just

or in a vat

of like

DNA

I don't know

Exactly

Yes

The Katy Perry pod

is almost ready

It feels like that

sometimes

You're just like

What?

This is a crazy

crazy crazy woman

who just appeared

out of nowhere

Especially when they

come out with

cupcake boobs

It's true

Well it's not

You don't have to

complain about everything

I'm not complaining

I'm just saying

it makes sense

to think she was

made in a factory

It is

Yeah absolutely

Perhaps a cheesecake factory

Oh

Yeah

She might have

We don't know

where her parents

what her parents ate

before they did it

to conceive her

Right

That's not good?

No that's gross

Okay

So you

So besides doing

musical improv

which is one

side of what you do

You also teach

and you also make

internet

YouTube videos

I do

You've had a lot

of amazing success

with some of your

internet videos

I sound like an old man

So tell me about

your internet videos

Well

First you get a little

picture book

and then you flip it

with your thumb

Right

And then you

Yeah no

I have had some

success with

internet videos

My most recent

most popular one

was Eliza Skinner

Loves Tyler Perry

Right

I do remember that

Which is true

first of all

It is

Very true

People think that

sometimes you are

pretending

Yeah

As some like

ongoing bit

Or ironic

Yeah

Like you're

very ironic

I genuinely love him

But nobody ever

says that

to like

some smart

dude

cool dude

Cause I'm a cool lady

Nobody would say that

to some cool dude

who's like

Oh yeah

You know

I love

Transformers

I love

Michael Bay movies

They wouldn't be like

Really

You're joking

Is that an ironic joke

They'd be like

Oh I get it

It's like what you do

on Sundays

and whatever

And that's how I feel

about Tyler Perry

He's

He is the emotional

equivalent

He is to emotional movies

what Michael Bay

is to action movies

Like instead of

just

one car exploding

and everybody being like

That was scary

It's like

a car

that crashes

into a boat

that gets dropped

by a helicopter

onto a bus

of children

and they all explode

I haven't seen

a Tyler Perry movie

in a long time

Tyler Perry

Well that's Michael Bay

Tyler Perry

does that

but with emotional things

Right

Like instead of

somebody like

slapping a lady

they like

smack her

into a wall

and then drop her kids

out a window

while telling her

that they gave her AIDS

And it's like

Whoa

So much crazy

bad things

at work

for months

that it's

exciting

Yeah I know

Every time

you've been like

let's go see

a Tyler Perry movie

and we don't

I always regret

I was like

Oh I should see

a Tyler Perry movie

Yeah well because

every time that happens

we go see some

shitty movie instead

We saw

Clash of the Titans

Yes that was horrible

We saw

Due Date

Yeah that was terrible

Which broke

my heart

Yes that did

It broke my heart too

I could not love

two performers

More

They're both

Yeah all the

like on

paper that was

an incredible

Right

movie

Two amazing

performers

and an adorable dog

I know

This can't go wrong

Oh wait

Wait

It did

Yeah it did

It did

Those were the two

that were like

Okay we're gonna

go see

Oh

Yeah

I

So next time

Tyler Perry movie

Absolutely

Thank you

You're allowed

Thank you

I submit

I apologize

But yeah

The Tyler Perry

Eliza Skinner

Loves Tyler Perry

is me doing

an audition

for all the

because I love

Tyler Perry

I would love to be

in one of his movies

but there are

almost no parts

for white people

Right

So I figured out

the five parts

that I could play

and audition for them

and it got very popular

but a lot of people

also kind of felt

like I was complaining

that there weren't

more parts

Right

I am not

I love that there aren't

I love that he has

created his own thing

with his own

set of rules

and his own world

like without worrying

what Hollywood

or white people

or anybody else

Right

say about it

He's like

I'm doing this

the way I want to do it

Right

Especially as Hollywood

seems to have no regard

of what

Yeah

you know

African Americans

in this country

like putting them

in movies

Yeah right

Yeah so I got a lot

of comments back

being like

you know

what about

all the white people

parts in

in Inception

because that's

when it came out

or what about

all the black people

parts in Inception

why don't you do

that video

I'm like well

A because you'd be

really offended

if I tried to do that

but B

you should do

that video

that would be hilarious

why not

I mean I can't

speak for everyone

and I think some people

got upset

they're like

you're not speaking

for me

I'm like no

I'm sorry

I can't

I think you should

speak for you though

but Tyler Perry

liked it

Right

I did get an email

from Tyler Perry Studios

from their head of casting

asking me to

call her back

and I did

and she asked for

my headshot in real

and told me

it was hilarious

I loved it

I think the people

who see it

get it

also once you

understand that

because I know

that you love

Tyler Perry

you've seen the shows

you've gone to

you've actually seen

the stage shows

the only people

who get offended by it

are people who

cannot fathom

that I might

actually love

Tyler Perry

you're like

well this is

clearly a lie

she must be

making fun

and before

everybody goes out

there and watches

a Tyler Perry movie

I know you have

made a lot of

our friends

they have then

gone and seen

Tyler Perry movies

to mixed

to mixed reviews

so before you're like

oh okay

I'm going to give this

you do have to go in there

with sort of

like you have to have

this sort of

you know you have to enjoy

that this is not going to be

the most serious

you have to not be racist

right

you can't be racist

yeah

you can't be racist

A

you're not going to enjoy it

if you're a racist

you probably don't want to see it

yeah you don't want to see it

but I would say

I always suggest people

start with

why did I get married

because there's no

Medea in that

and some people have

a problem swallowing Medea

right

and also there are a lot

of preconceived notions

like you think

it's going to be

one thing

yeah which really

it really isn't

it's kind of

it's crazy the way

that he plays that part

it is

but you don't even

have to deal with that

with why did I get married

right

or I also suggest

Diary of a Mad Black Woman

because that is crazy

it's crazy

and it's like

just

the dude goes for it

right

he goes for it

he does not

pull any stops

he does

he doesn't do anything

halfway

I love it

yeah

I love it

yep

he's amazing

every artist should be

he's

you know

you know what

I would compare him

to Julie Taymor

wow

well I'm taking the

Spider-Man thing

off the table

but the whole

I'm going to have my vision

and I'm going to go

100% with it

right

I don't care

what anybody else says

I'm just going to

follow this

and see where it takes me

yeah

and do it on your own terms

yeah

which is also

I mean he makes

so much money

on these movies

well that's the other thing

anybody who's

it's him

yeah

anyone who's like

Tyler Perry

he sucks

like oh I'm sorry

Tyler Perry can't hear you

because he's swimming

in money right now

he'll tell you

when he gets out of the pool

the Richie Rich pool

yeah exactly

Scrooge McDuck

those duck tails

he's diving

in his

$100 bill pool

okay

because those coins

those would hurt right

they would

anytime Scrooge McDuck

would dive in those coins

I would be like

oh god you would

break your face

Scrooge McDuck

you would

that stuff would not

move out of the way

no

or if it did

it wouldn't be real gold

it'd be chocolate coin gold

I'm saying just

little tiny cakes

that's what I would prefer

tiny tiny cakes

okay

next time we go to the movies

okay

we'll bring tiny cakes

that would be great

I'm sorry

I don't think anybody

would argue with that

I don't think so

except for the frosting

what

no that

you have like

soft frosting

in the middle

and then like

more of a candy

like

everything

right now

we can make

a million dollars

on this idea

patented

internet

yeah

well that's

you say something

on the internet

and it's yours forever

that's right

when I was just a kid

this is what I was

this is what I said

kid don't you cry

I am older now

I say

it's alright

every tear

rolling down

is a

lesson learned

are you too

old to turn

are you

too young

to burn

too young

to burn

too young

to burn

too young

Now I sit by my window

Watch the sun going down, down

And I see all the people

Walking around and around

Every tear rolling down

Is a lesson learned

Are you too old to turn?

Are you too young to burn?

Too young

Too young to burn

Too young, too young

Too young to burn

Too young, too young

Too young to burn

Too young, too young

Too young to burn

Too young, too young

Too young to burn

That was you?

You were singing that whole time?

I was singing that whole time.

I didn't notice it until the very end.

Oh, yeah.

Here's the song that we're going to do.

The next song.

I just sang that.

That wasn't part of the song.

It was just me.

It was just me doing...

It was just a lie.

Right.

It was just a, whoa, hey now.

That was Too Young to Burn

by Sonny and the Sunsets.

Total weird song I found,

and I loved it,

and I just kept on listening to it

over and over and over again.

Again, has that weird 50s vibe.

Love it, love it, love it.

Speaking of loving it,

you took two things that people love,

peanut butter and chocolate,

and you turned them into Reese's...

No, wrong note.

No, I didn't do that.

Okay.

You took cute animals

and mixed them with hilarious narratives

and created Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Almost.

Okay.

What happened?

I created Nasty Cute.

Nasty Cute, right.

Yes, Nasty Cute.

So what is Nasty Cute?

It's a website, nastycute.tumblr.com.

Okay.

And it's, like you said,

it's pictures of cute animals

with them there.

Their inner thoughts or outer thoughts,

like what they would be saying

or what they might be thinking

during that photo.

And they're pretty horrible thoughts.

And I started it as a 365 project,

which it still is.

Every day for a year.

Yes, and I started it the 1st of January.

So it's only been about three weeks.

My friend Noah Scalin

had a website called Skull a Day

that ended up becoming a book.

He was on...

Martha Stewart.

And now he has a second book out,

365 Creativity Journal.

And I was reading that

and reading about different people

who had done these 365 projects

and all of them said,

you know, if you want to get really good at something,

do it every day for a year.

So I was thinking,

okay, what do I want to get really good at?

Writing and music.

And I still don't quite have a means

to do a music project.

Hopefully I will...

That's like one of those things

that you don't do naturally.

You're not sort of a musician.

You're not a musician

per, like, playing a piano.

I think I'm a musician.

Well, no, I mean...

I don't have the skill

with playing an instrument.

Right, right.

But you sing.

You sing all the time.

Yeah, and I'm composing as I do that.

Right, right.

But anyway, I do write a lot

and I can write

without having to learn

how to play something.

Right.

And so I started...

And I like cute animals a lot

and I also like dark humor a lot.

So I put them together.

And it's...

It's done really well.

It got picked up by HuffPo

in, I think, maybe it's second week,

if not maybe the first week.

Right.

Huffington Post

and by the Frisky,

Jillian Jacobs from Community

tweeted about it

and that got me

a whole bunch of followers.

Right.

It's very big on Twitter.

Yeah, it's big.

And it's growing every day.

I'm surprised.

It's very...

It's been really fun

because I like what I'm doing with it,

but it's also been really interesting

to see...

You know, I still get feedback

and good feedback

even when it's something

that I don't really like.

Right.

And I think a lot of performers

and writers and creators

hold ourselves to this really high bar

where you're worried

about putting things out

until you get it just right.

Right.

And what this is showing me is

I'm putting out things

that are not just right all the time.

Mm-hmm.

They're half-baked,

but I have to get something out.

And people still like it.

Right.

And it still is going pretty well.

And sometimes I do get more time

to refine things.

I have it a little bit more

like I like it.

But, yeah, it's been great.

Can you read one

so we might get a sense of...

Sure.

Do you know...

Which one do you want me to read?

Oh, my favorite one

is the hedgehog one.

You want me to read the hedgehog?

Yeah.

Okay.

It's kind of weird

about the picture.

Well, I'll put the picture in.

They'll have to...

The show note,

the icon for the whole show

will be the picture.

Okay.

So they can look at it right now

if you've been wondering

what this picture is.

So here's the internet.

And you should be

seeing a little hedgehog

staring intently

forward and down

as though, okay,

he's avoiding something.

I swear to God,

if I turn around

and that weird motherfucker

is still staring at me,

I'm going to go

roadhouse crazy on him.

I'm going to be like,

hey, you need something, fucko?

How about you blow my butt?

And then I'm going to

kick him in the face.

That sounds stupid.

Blow my butt?

What does that mean?

Oh, God,

why is he staring at me?

I'm not going to

kick him in the face.

If I'm not going to

I'm lucky.

I could maybe pee on him

before I run away.

That's a comfortable

level of aggression for me.

Seriously, what?

What is it?

Is he following me?

What does he want?

Ugh, I hate city parks.

Oh, shit, my quills.

I could puff up.

And I'll tell him

I have nunchucks.

He doesn't know.

Maybe I do.

I don't.

Ugh, I couldn't use them

even if I did.

I tried some once,

but I hit myself in the eye

and it bled.

Is it money?

Does he want money?

It feels like he's

looking at my ass.

Okay, I'm going to

turn around real slowly

and then,

throw dirt in his eyes

and scream and act retarded.

No one attacks retarded people

because they might be

super strong

or want to lick you

or something.

Please, Jesus,

don't let him put me

in a bucket and bury me.

One,

two,

three.

And we don't know

what happened.

We don't know what happened.

It just ends there.

I don't know if that

gets across.

I don't know how

it comes across

reading it.

I do, yeah.

I like it.

Okay.

One, two,

three.

Um,

so, yeah,

and it's an amazing site.

Every time I look at it

every day,

it updates.

There are always

amazing new characters

and new pictures.

Also, it adds that,

like, level to a site

like Cute Overload

where you're just seeing

cute things all day.

Well, on Cute Overload,

she does,

or they do sometimes

say, like,

what they're doing

and give them

kind of a personality,

but it's usually

a pretty cute personality.

Right.

Whereas here,

with mine,

they're...

I also know that you

have a real problem.

I have a real problem

when people portray

animals as being

kind of retarded.

Oh, I hate that.

When they misspell things.

That I really don't like.

stuff is really...

Yeah, because I'm like,

okay, so your cat

can type,

but just doesn't

spell really well.

Like, that's...

Right.

Come on.

Right.

And can lay out

the type over a photograph,

too.

Yeah.

Um,

and it makes those

cats sound kind of dumb.

Yeah.

It's also not that

after the first one,

it's like,

okay, you get it.

Right.

It's a,

it's a retarded cat

and it doesn't keep

on being retarded.

Yeah.

Um,

and you're also,

so that's just one

of the projects.

You also have a new,

um,

comedy show.

I do.

A new showcase,

right?

Yeah.

Uh, in L.A.

with, uh,

your dear friend,

D.C. Pearson.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, we're doing a show

on Saturday nights

at 10 o'clock

at the Smod Castle.

What is the Smod Castle?

The Smod Castle

is the, uh,

is Kevin Smith's

new theater

that,

he put together

for his,

um,

many, many podcasts.

So he wanted a venue

where people could do

live shows

and tape them

and make them

into podcasts.

So it's all set up

for podcasting,

but it,

it's a,

it's a cute little theater

also.

We're not gonna be

podcasting our show,

um,

but, uh,

but that's where

we're doing it.

Okay.

So,

and I'm excited about it.

Very cool.

Kevin Smith is,

of course,

the director

who did

Mallrats

and Clerks

and Chasing Amy

and,

Oh, yes.

Um,

all those,

Dogma.

Many, many movies.

Right.

Very nice guy.

Very good beard.

Yes.

I approve his beard.

Quite a beard.

And like,

80 million different

podcasts right now.

Right.

He is,

he is on a lot of,

if you check the iTunes

top 10,

he's on like three.

Yeah.

Right.

Um,

well,

that's very exciting stuff.

Yeah.

Thank you for being

on the show.

Is that it?

I think that's it.

Yeah.

Wow,

do you want to keep

on talking?

When do I get

my tiny cakes?

Uh,

that's on the

second episode.

Okay.

When you come back

or when I go out

to visit you in LA.

Okay.

Does that sound good?

Yes.

Okay,

what sort of cakes

am I supposed to make?

Let's be specific.

Very tiny ones.

An assortment.

I think an assortment.

An assortment?

Yeah.

I guess if you're making

tiny cakes,

you can do an assortment.

Like,

this all makes a lot of sense.

I'm sure someone at home

is going to start

tinycakes.com.

a little smaller than,

um,

than a munchkin.

You know,

those munchkins?

Yeah,

munchkins are the best

type of cake.

Yeah,

they're the best type

of donuts,

I feel.

Wow,

except they're from

Dunkin' Donuts,

which,

Right,

which are not the best.

It gets that,

like,

sandy feeling in your mouth.

Although,

Trader Joe's has little,

little donut-o's,

donut holes,

and they're good.

Because you can eat,

like,

two or three.

Why are you so in love

with Trader Joe's?

I love Trader Joe's.

Why are you so in love

with Trader Joe's?

I love Trader Joe's.

It's creepy.

I love it.

Like,

one of my plans is

if,

if graphic design

and podcasting

don't turn out

to be everything

that I've hoped for them,

because,

you know,

at the moment,

podcasting is where

all the money comes in from,

I'm going to start

working at Trader Joe's.

Yeah,

that's weird.

I know.

Every time you go

into Trader Joe's,

Like,

glaze over?

No,

you make 80 friends.

I do,

I make 80 friends.

You'll come out

and be like,

oh,

I was looking for

Peter Potter,

and there was this guy

in the aisle,

and he was like,

we're still stocking it,

and this other girl

came up,

and I made a joke,

and we all laughed.

Yeah,

I'll become

my best friend.

Yeah.

Except for

the Trader Joe's

here in New York

on 21st Street,

which is where

The close one to you.

The close one to me,

where I work,

the,

it's a different

type of,

like,

people working there,

and they're much less,

like,

there's some people

you know are like

Trader Joe's people

who are probably

from L.A.

or from California,

and they're like

really friendly,

or they're art students,

and they're really

happy to be there,

and then there's

some people,

like,

there's also that

New York contingent

of, like,

miserable people

who this is another job to,

and they don't

fit,

like,

you try to be like,

hey,

and they're like,

did you find everything?

And I'm like,

yeah,

and I found these cookies.

These are crazy cookies,

and they're like,

uh-huh,

and then they just

ring you up,

and you're like,

oh,

they don't care

about these cookies.

They don't tell me

what to eat

with these cookies at all.

They usually like

to tell me how to,

how to put these.

No,

they're like,

that lentil soup

is delicious.

Have you tried it

with the scallions

that we have

from Peru?

We're best friends now.

Right.

Me and this guy

who works at Trader Joe's.

I love that.

But in New York,

that doesn't happen.

It's like,

what?

Yeah,

there's a real mixed bag

in LA,

because it's,

I think,

because it's not

that big of a deal.

Right.

It's another supermarket.

Yeah,

because there's tons of them.

Here,

it's like a special place.

I go to my Trader Joe's

probably every day.

What?

Because I don't have

that much to do.

Well,

specifically,

I don't have that much to do

that gets me out of the house.

during the day,

especially.

Like,

I'll be at home writing

and then be like,

I gotta get out of the house,

and also,

the only food I have

is half a bottle of wine

and old grapes.

This is both the same thing.

Yeah,

the same thing.

The same thing.

So I have to go to the house.

Are you counting the wine

as old grapes?

Yes.

That's what I'm doing.

I have these old grapes.

But,

here's how tacky

and budget I am.

Mm-hmm.

I'm always gonna go

to Trader Joe's.

Why?

Because they're gonna

give me free food.

They're gonna give me

a teeny tiny,

teeny tiny little cup

of something

I wouldn't have bought

because I don't really

want that thing.

I never eat those things.

Really?

I feel so embarrassed

going up to,

I have this thing

about food.

Oh, man.

I always eat those things.

I always get the coffee,

and it's always me

and some crazy homeless person

who thinks they're

really good friends

with the person

who gives out the samples.

They're like,

where's Ray today?

Mm.

So,

I live in my boots.

That's the thing

in New York

is that there's just

these old,

kind of like,

old New Yorkers

who are like,

oh,

I've never had this before.

Yeah,

and they're like,

we don't need,

you don't need to justify it.

You don't need to stand here.

It's a free sample.

Or it'll be like

some old lady

who exactly wants

to justify it,

and so she stands there

and asks questions

that she doesn't care about

and nobody,

or just about whatever,

like,

so,

do you guys,

are you getting your peppers

from someplace else?

Because I noticed

they tasted,

yeah,

exactly.

Lady,

eat your cookie,

drink your coffee

like all the rest of us.

Right.

We know what you're trying to do.

Yeah.

So,

yeah,

I'm totally a sucker

for any free sample.

I was on the plane

at the airport,

coming out here.

I went by,

um,

I needed some food

and they had a Burger King.

Right.

So I was like,

blah.

But,

I got a little hamburger.

It's all coming out now.

Yeah.

I got a little hamburger.

How big do you think

hamburgers should be,

by the way?

Tiny?

It depends.

Oh,

oh,

oh.

Well,

I mean,

you have two different things.

We got sliders,

and they got,

oh,

there's this great

food truck in LA,

the Patty Wagon,

that does mini burgers.

They're not sliders.

They're mini burgers,

but it's grass-fed beef

and, like,

artisanal cheeses.

And they're fairly inexpensive,

right?

Yeah.

They're not super expensive.

Yeah,

I mean,

they're like,

they're probably,

they're probably a little

on the high-end side

for a teeny tiny burger,

um,

but they're,

it's not prohibitive.

It's like a dollar fifty

or two dollars

or something

for one of these things.

Oh,

that sounds great.

Yeah.

Sorry,

you were saying,

I'm sorry.

Um,

so that's good for tiny.

But yeah,

so I was at Burger King

and I bought a little hamburger

and a Diet Coke

or Pepsi,

whatever they've got.

And I was like,

blah.

But,

I was feeling like,

okay,

I'm at the max

of my snacking level here.

I should not be having

anything more than this,

especially no sugar

because I'm feeling really

out of shape

after the holidays,

blah,

blah.

And this lady came out

from the Starbucks

that was attached

with a tray of Frappuccinos,

little Frappuccino samples.

And she starts offering

them to people

and they were like

some sort of crazy Frappuccino.

You know,

when it's,

when the modifiers

way outnumber the coffee

where it's like,

like caramel,

toffee,

vanilla,

chocolate,

ta-da.

Like,

wait,

where does the coffee come in?

There's so many other flavors

happening.

It's just whipped cream

on top of flavoring.

Oh yeah,

and each little tiny cup

with a big mountain

of whipped cream.

And I started stuffing,

and the hamburger

was crazy hot

because they just made it.

Right.

And I started trying

to stuff it into my face

so that I can go

and get a free sample

of this thing

that I have plenty of,

I have enough,

I don't have tons of money,

but I have enough money

to afford one of those

if I wanted it.

I didn't want one.

I did not want that at all.

But once there was

a little tiny cup of it,

I was like,

oh,

give it to me.

Give it to me.

You just love tiny things.

It's kind of true.

Yeah.

I do.

If they had those

for 25 cents,

you'd be there.

You'd be like,

oh,

I wouldn't mind it.

Have you seen,

there's that Flickr group

with the googly eyes on food?

No.

I think that,

I think Amy Sedaris

might have started it.

She had something

to do with it.

But if you go on Flickr

and look for food

with googly eyes,

that's,

it's just this project

where different people

put googly eyes

on different kinds of food

and take photos.

And it's hilarious.

That could be the link of the day.

People always love

the link of the day.

Well,

I thought my,

what about Nasty Cute?

Nasty Cute will be

the link of the day.

That'll be the other

link of the day.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I jabbered on too long.

No.

You tried to end it

a long time ago.

It's just a link

that we mentioned.

Okay.

Nasty Cute is where

everybody's going to go

right now.

Okay.

Clicky,

clicky,

clicky.

Did I read the right one

from Nasty Cute?

Should I read a different one?

Sure.

Why don't you read another one?

We'll have two.

Okay.

I'll read the one

that you,

this is the one

that you liked.

Okay.

It's the little dog

with the cone on his head.

Oh, yeah.

It's this little teeny dog

with a cone on his head.

Read along

if you're by a computer

or have your iPhone out.

Well,

right now,

I am in trouble

from eating the bleach

under the sink

because sometimes

I do that

because sometimes

it feels exciting to me.

Also,

I have a spot on my bottom

that I chew on too much

and now it won't grow hair

and now I have to wear

this cone to keep me

from chewing on my bottom

too much.

I know it is bad

because it can get infected

and also because

it keeps me from sitting

for a long period

so I can't hold down a job

but still,

I like to do it.

Also,

my problem is

that my brain

is very small

inside my head

so I have problems

with number one,

reading,

number two,

standing still

and number eight,

numbers.

On top of that,

my skull bones

are really skinny

so I get scared a lot

that they will be crushed

by something falling on me

like a book

or a jet.

In that way,

the cone is good

because it makes me

feel protected

but bad

because,

it stops me

from chewing on my bottom

which I really like to do.

So,

I guess those are

my biggest weaknesses

in a professional setting.

Oh,

and I am too organized.

Next question?

Thank you very much,

Eliza Skinner,

for being on the show.

You're welcome.

I will talk to you soon.

Bye.

Bye, everybody

in podcast land.

Thank you so much

for seeing the reboot

of Tracks Up the Tree.

To leave you,

I will be playing

a song by

Benoit Poulard

on his latest album,

Lasted.

It's called

Cone on the Tongue.

I hope you enjoy it.

Come back next week.

You can always visit us

on upthetree.com

and get all the old podcasts

and listen to all the old podcasts

and find out

what we're up to.

Okay?

Talk to you soon.

Bye.

Thank you.