The Mad Music Podcast #57 October 5, 2022

a vast g swabs tis time for episode number 57 of the mad music podcast a half hour of mad music

and silly stuff brought to you by madmusic.com the world's largest comedy music website

i be your guest host dave au jus with this year's halloween show i'm here today to play

your favorite creative commons and podcast friendly songs and some you may not have heard

before halloween can never come soon enough for some folks so let's kick the show off with this

song from megathruster

it's never too early to put out your pumpkins never too

early to hang up your lights decorate doorways with scarecrows and spider webs dress up your

windows festooned with frights find some sound effects of evil laughter do the monster mash

all month long crank up the eerie psycho screaming and dig your collection for vampire songs

and don't forget to head to

target to pick up the fun size

it's never too early to invite your friends over it's never too early for

costume

fun bobbing for apples and pumpkin carving and handing out candy by the ton dry ice in the

bunch and lots of pizza the fog machine is going strong ghosts and bats and clowns and even robots

no one is going home till dawn and don't forget to head to target

to pick up the fun

signs

so

so so

so

have a

do the

too slowly

do the

media

middle

of the

Holding hands while you chant and sway

Open the portal to a hellish dimension

And tremble as you hear Satan say

Don't forget to head to Target

And pick up the fun size

Don't forget to head to Target

As a kid, Halloween was quite the big deal

What I did was eat candy each night as a meal

From a stash so big you'd think it fell off a truck

And I tell you I could swim in it like Scrooge McDuck

My costumes made Mrs. Rosenberg plots

I don't know what that means but she said it a lot

Each year we would take our game to the next level

And we'd make our way through town like the Tasmanian Devil

My friends would come visit my vast neighborhood

Then we'd finish up with theirs just as fast as we could

Then the plan was we'd all switch costumes

And then if we can go back

Out and do the whole thing again

Since I'm out of school, ain't no more trick-or-treating

Have to go to the store, buy the candy that I'm eating

That's lame, it isn't the same as back then

If only I could go trick-or-treating again

Trick-or-treating, y'all

Just once, I wanna go and do it again

Get dressed up and go through the neighborhood with my friends

If I could, man

I'd be taking my shit

I should

Well, why not?

Maybe I could dress up like a ghost or a ghoul or something

And they'll think that I'm a tall middle schooler

Yeah, I'll be covered from head to toe

Ain't no way I'll be discovered

How would they know?

Maybe I could walk on my knees to look short

Or talk with some kind of voice changer of sorts

And use more young people slang when I speak

Do kids still say that things are on fleek?

I know it's a plan that I should outgrow

But throw a sheet over my head and I'm good to go

Got the spreadsheet

Ready for the official tally

I just hope no one thinks I'm heading to a Klan rally

Trick-or-treating, y'all

I'm doing it, man

Trick-or-treating, y'all

I'm actually doing it

I'm actually going out

Trick-or-treat

Oh, hey, Devo

Taking the kids trick-or-treating, eh?

Um, where are the kids?

No kids, just me

Trick-or-treat

Hey, Devo

What's up?

I'm not Devo

I'm Billy from the next town over

Trick-or-treat

Hi, Tom

Uh, where's the rest of your crew?

Just trick-or-treat

Just put some candy in the bag

Doorbell's broken

Devo, hi

Um, I thought the rally was moved to next Saturday

Oh, come on!

Okay, fine

So that's how it's gonna be then

Guess I'll be a kid again and get my sweet revenge

I can teepee your house or throw eggs at your door

But wait, I'm an adult and this begs for more

I'll get all your family info and then post on Reddit

Or get a loan in your name and there goes your credit

I said I'd hope it wouldn't have to come down to that

But all it would've cost you is a damn Kit-Kat

But no

So I guess I'll give the classics a try

I shop at Costco

You know how many eggs I can buy

It'll be weeks before it goes away

And I'm sure you'll get a fine from the HOA

So remember next year's

When I come to your door

Make the candy appear

Or I'm funding a war

If not, you'll find out just how mean I can be

When it seems you didn't get a Christmas card from me

Trick-or-treating, y'all

And I'll do it too

Trick-or-treating, y'all

I'm just that crazy

Trick-or-treating, y'all

Master, I've brought these shovels

Good, Ego, good

We have much work tonight

Oh, and I brought your earmuffs

Yes, Ego, yes

It gets cold at night in the cemetery

And did you bring my latte?

Yes, Master

Skim milk, true splendor

Good, Ego, good

Let's get started

We dig in the earth

The graves must be new

The flowers must be new

Fresh, not too rotten

The maggots must be few

I found a good heart

I've unearthed two good legs

A lung, a liver, an arm

An egg?

We spend the night searching eerie wings all around

Digging for fresh pieces, six feet underground

We hunt for limbs and organs

Torches flicker and they shine

Ha ha ha, pots for Frankenstein

When all the pots are collected

Add brain, spleen, and face

To the hardware store for boats

Screw them tight into place

Frankenstein is ready

Now to bring him to life

I wonder if this works

Should we make him a wife?

Some say this work is evil

You never play with life and death

But I'll prove it isn't over

When you take your final breath

The pieces are in place

The storm is at its height

Our pots for Frankenstein

Frankenstein will come alive tonight

Ha ha ha ha

Oh yes, Igor, yes

Raise the platform

Raise

It's time

Well

Hook up the electrodes

Plug them in the wall

Turn on the juice

Hope his heart will not stall

Buzz

He's alive, he's awake

Some say this work is evil

You never play with life and death

But I'll prove it isn't over

When you take your final breath

The pieces are in place

The storm is at its height

Our pots for Frankenstein

Have come alive tonight

Ha ha ha

Buzz

He looks awfully hungry

Buzz

I hope we're not caged.

No, we're toast.

We just heard Parts for Frankenstein by Steve Goody from 2019.

Before that was Trick or Treatin' by Devo Spice from 2017.

And we started the set with Never Too Early by Megathruster from 2017.

Up next, haunted houses, vampires, trick-or-treating, and Halloween pranksters.

They promised us their whole candy haul

And we went inside and tried to find the truth of it all

Before you knew it, we were up the stairs

Breaking in a house on a double dare

But we were not prepared for what we saw

His name is All Hallow's Team

And he comes on every Halloween

We're all Halloween

Every cocky little children need a fright

And he didn't have snakes for arms

But he had a terrifying charm

Cause he told us what it's like to be thirty-five

But we stood before him and said,

But we didn't trust our eyes

Trying to decide if we were traumatized

He rocks some cargo shorts and new balance with high socks

Cause the kids, when you get to be as old as me

Your ears get hairy and it's hard to pee

On that candy of stones that were bigger than an ox

But you don't go out nearly as much as your back

And you're eating mostly vegetables

And you just stay this fat

He went on and on for what felt like days

And told a corny joke and didn't seem half-faced

When he was the only one that laughed

His name is All Hallow's Team

And he comes on every Halloween

He moves so slow it's like he's buried alive

We thought that we were running free

But we're not

But now we just want to leave

But the front door's slammed

And we're stuck here for the night

Now the years have passed so I go back

The house looks empty but the door is cracked

I go in and hear a creak

He's at the floor, adjust my knees

I see a little kid and he's tracking mud

So I pop around the corner shouting,

Hey there, bud!

Smiling, I wave, but this brat just points at me

And then he screams

He screams, it's All Hallow's Team

I guess the torch has been passed to me

It's an honor that I feel I must uphold

Tuck my polo shirt into my jeans

Cause I know I'm about to make a scene

Cause there's nothing scarier than getting old

No, there's nothing scarier than getting old

All day, hiding in my coffin, playing Gotham Death Rock MP3s

All night, bats and werewolves nagging me to take them out for drinks

Because it helps them feel alive or something

I meet long neck girls at clubs but they say

Bite me, that sounds good to me

Cause I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead

I know my lips are stained red, my fangs are too

But just ignore that please, it's only gum disease

I'm not ghostly, I'm just reflection impaired

I know right now you look scared

But pound some Red Bull and tie baby

And prowl the night with me

We break into the best buy I could

Drink some plasma screen TVs

And I know, I know I've got a substance problem

I keep robbing blood banks

But I've got to clear my cobwebs with a shot

All three, self-control is hard

I'm only nineteen centuries old

But I'm not hasty, I'm just a little undead

I know worms live in my head

And at the beach I have to rub on me

SPF infinity

I'm not spooky, I'm just existence impaired

I know you'd like an expan

I'm spookey, I'm just existence impaired

I'm sorry, babe, because you date with me

For the last eternity

I've been craving salty snacks

This ain't all you chicks with saline

Come to my all-night buffet

I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead

Don't put garlic on my bread

I like my steaks bloody as can be

But don't drive one through me

I'm not eerie, I'm just living in pain

I know I'm your worst nightmare

But all the cool Transylvanians see

That no one sucks like me

Yeah, no one sucks like me

No one sucks like me

I'm just a little undead

No one sucks like me

Hey there, open your eyes

Prepare to meet your demise

I've been busy when you were asleep

That's a hacksaw over there

You can't move, I bet you're scared

It's Halloween, so scream and no one cares

I'd like to make you start to bleed

And make you suffer slowly

Maybe I'll take these pliers

And start ripping out your teeth

You look like a jack-o'-lantern

Oh, how do you know?

How neat

I'll scoop your right eye out

So you'll shout and watch your mouth

Keep an eye out for a cyclops now

Why don't you lend a hand

Or maybe a foot instead

There's no trick, it's a treat

To smell your feet

I love to hear your mumbled screams

And twist is fun

And try so slowly

Try not to pass out now

We just started, you and me

I would not want for you to miss a thing

On Halloween

Would the funny bone be a wisecrack?

I think they'll take me a souvenir

Take the entrail, I'll take the psychopath

I think they'll take me a souvenir

If I flayed your chest, that would be great

I think I'll take me a souvenir

Now you're appealing, and you've lost weight

And when your blood starts to fly

That's when I cauterize

Can you guess what's next?

I think I've got you stumped

I think I'll sever your arm

And later I'll take your heart

I get a heart on

If I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make you cry and scream

And twist this knife so slowly

When this buzzsaw hits your ankles

You'll lament defeat

I've cut you down to size by a few feet

On Halloween

I'd like to make you beg and plead

And peel your scalp

Back slowly

When I said I'd love to see

Exactly how you think

Bet you never guessed it literally

On Halloween

Boy, I sure love Halloween

Removing your heart so slowly

I can tell by your longing eye

Your heart belongs to me

Now listen as we hear the final beat

Trick or treat

What scary costumes

Here's a foot for you

And an arm for you

Thank you

Happy Halloween

It was getting all dark and spooky and autumnal

About what the pumpkins and the skulls and the things

In unrelated news

Ian was being even snarkier than usual

Hey!

I decided to have some fun

Ian of the insane

What was up with your brain

That made you think that Halloween's the time to be a pain

It was time to get to work cause I was tired of his crap

So I dressed up like a ghost

While he was taking a nap

Put some raw meat in his hands

While he was still asleep

And just to be different

I borrowed several sheep

I screamed

What have you done Ian?

Were you having fun Ian?

You slaughter sheep in your sleep

With a gun Ian?

I woke with a start

And began to scream

That's not what you want to see

When you wake from a dream

Man, Kyle is so mean

Just because I was napping

But here's why I'm rapping

Cause this is what happened

I saw the meat in my hand

So I started clapping

And the ghost started laughing

He's practically gasping

Until he sees me cluttering on the things

Kyle has drawn

That's when we both knew

The prank war was on

We were getting ready

For Halloween

We were getting even

On Halloween

We're a pair of instigators

And it got really mean

It's gotten creative

And it got very innovative

We're getting hollow even

If you know what I mean

Yeah, we're pranking each other

This Halloween

Trying to top one another

With each crazy scheme

Instead of eating candy

Our pranks are getting fancy

You'll best be believing

We're getting hollow even

So Kyle thought he could pull a prank

And then just walk away

But that's not how I play

I swear he'll rule the day

To get Kyle back

I had to seriously think

And then I settled on a plan

To get even with that fink

I filled his pumpkin coffee

With trout

Boy did it stink

And then I said

We're getting even

On Halloween

And all his pens are replaced

With disappearing ink

When Kyle went to drink

He'd get fish in his straw

And then he'd lose everything

That he attempts to draw

So I sat at my desk

To draw a Halloween card

Spotting the coffee

Fish wasn't too hard

And I draw digitally

With a Cintiq and a stylus

So the disappearing ink

Didn't bother the Kyle's

But suddenly my monitor

Went blood red

And said

You've done your last drawing

Prepare to be dead

And a Jew put evil spirits

In my Mac

This doesn't really seem

To be an Ennish attack

We were getting even

On Halloween

We're a pair of instigators

And it got really mean

It's gotten creative

We're getting hollow even

It's gotten creative

It got very innovative

We're getting hollow even

If you know what I mean

Yeah we're pranking each other

This Halloween

Trying to top one another

With a crazy scheme

Instead of eating candy

Our pranks are getting fancy

You best be believing

We're getting hollow even

So I kinda figured out

This wasn't Ennish attempt

To stoke me

When a hand came

From my monitor

And tried to choke me

Then Enn rushed in

With a Ghostbuster suit on

Then I yelled at the ghost

Yo taste some Neutron

I blasted it with my

Funnily functioning proton pack

Which the ghost just avoided

And I wrecked Kyle's Mac

I said

Oh geez

No time for apologies

Kyle it's called

All the Truth

Could you help me

If you please

Stand for good buddy

And now I must mention

I made a little transformation

By yelling

Henshin

Kamen Rider Ghost Slappers

Who I became

A tokusatsu hero man

This is getting lame

Enn used his pack

To zap the ghost in my Mac

Then he threw his trap

But it was my turn to act

I was gearing up

For my supersonic

Ghost Slap attack

But before I could move

The ghost struck back

It gave Kyle a smack

Then began to squeak

I'm the ghost of all pranks

And your jokes are so weak

You think these are funny

But you guys are just slaves

Stop trying to prank each other

You sullied my name

Then I got an idea

And looked quickly at Kyle

I knew my man was red

When he started to smile

So I leapt into the body

Of that dumb old ghost

What?

And possessed him right back

Yeah I made him my host

Oh

And I ran around the room

Going duh I'm undead

Man

I got no freaking legs

And a stupid white head

That's not exactly

What I had in mind Kyle

I don't know what to do with this

You're out of line Kyle

Bloop bloop bloop

I have unfinished business

My afterlife was unproductive

I couldn't care less

Well guess what ghosty

I'm tired of your crap

Ghost Slap

Then I threw out the trap

The door shut with a snap

That's how we caught the ghost

We got him

And we pranked it right back

We got even with him

For picking on us

Cause even comedians

Know how to bust

With all of that done

We knew just what to do

And prepared for what

Next year's prank war

Will ensue

Yeah

This is

There is extra space

We were getting even

On Halloween

We're a pair of instigators

And it got really mean

It's gotten creative

It got very innovative

We're getting hollow even

If you know what I mean

Yeah we're pranking each other

This Halloween

Trying to top one another

With these crazy schemes

Instead of eating candy

Our prank war

Will ensue

Yeah

If you're getting fancy

You'll best be believing

We're getting hollow even

Kyle

We did it

What

We did it

What did we

What did we achieve

We defeated the ghost

Well we did but

Yeah and I got a cool proton pack

And stuff

It's neat

Well you know

I got my rider belt

Yeah you've had that for a while

Yes you're mocking me

My Mac

And could you

Henshin

Yes my Mac

What

You destroyed my Mac

Nobody cares

I'm not giving to your Kickstarter

Oh

We just listened to

Halloween Even

By Scooter Picnic

From the 2013

Getting Hollow Even

EP

Before them

We heard

Halloween Night

By Dino Mike

From 2010

The Money Shot Cosmonauts

Gave us

A Little Undead

From the 2009

Fump

Volume 17

CD

And All Hallows Steve

By Toby Danger

Started the set

What's scarier

Than Halloween

Politics

A podcast

About

Halloween

And how

Halloween

Was

Up next

It's

Election Time

Boys and Girls

And Mommies

And Dads

Aren't you

Tired of

Negative Ads

Tons

And Smears

And Slender

And Slime

Yes it's

Almost

Election Time

It's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

There is

No

Relief

In Sight

It's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

Gotta Toe The Party Line

Who Will Win

Tuesday Night

Not To Sound

Too Extreme

But One More Ad

And I May Sleeve

I am the one

That's making you

Fret

Telling you

We've got

To Control

Our Debt

I am the one

Giving seniors

A scare

Telling them

The other guy

Will take their Medicare

It's

The Election Time

Singing all the money rhyme

All the time

Vote for me

All you fools

I promise

I can improve

The schools

If I win

Ladies and gents

I'll only tax

The one percent

La la la la

Here's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

La la la la

Here's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

La la la la

Here's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

It's

Election Time

La la la la

Yeah

Vote for me

Greetings, I am the Count

My friend Big Bird is in trouble

And it all comes down to voting

Which means counting

So I've written this little Halloween song

About why every vote counts

Count it off, Grover

One, two, three

When the truth is spun

And the facts get blurred

And they change the voting laws

And make it harder for us to make our voices heard

They don't want nobody to vote

They don't need nobody to vote

They get what they want when nobody votes

You better get your butt out to vote

Quote!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

Wow, did I just hear right?

I'll have to do something to help Big Bird

When these guys want power

They want you to stay home in bed

Yes, and most of the names at the polls

Are already dead

Really?

They don't want nobody to vote

They don't need nobody to vote

They get what they want

When nobody votes

You better get your butt out to vote

Your eyes can see

Your mind can think just fine

Yes, but in their heads, baby

All they see is lots of dollar signs

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

They don't want nobody to vote

They don't need nobody to vote

They get what they want when nobody votes

So you better get your butt out to vote

Quiet, Grover!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

Grover is tired

For years they've been running

He thinks he's the best

Are they your friends, baby?

Or just part of the mess?

They don't want nobody to vote

They don't need nobody to vote

They get what they want

When nobody votes

You better get your butt out to vote

One vote

Two votes

Three votes

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

And be sure to bring your driver's license

Or some other form of picture ID

There are many new votes

There are new voting laws

That require picture ID

And no, you can't just draw them a picture

When you get to the polls

Ernie tried that in 2004

And you see where that got us

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

Grover need drink

Cool

We just listened to

Nobody to Vote by Steve Goody

From the 2013

Drinks Well with Others

CD

And Morningside Kick

Gave us

It's Election Time

From 2012

This is an election year

So remember to vote early

And vote often

That wraps up our podcast for today

I hope you enjoyed the show

So until next time

This is Dave Ajou

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