I Still Have a Voice (Epilogue)

hey there friends what's an exciting season of storytelling and art connections working on this

mixtape was a fun opportunity to dabble back into audio production after losing my voice

to officially close out the season i want to share a piece called i still have a voice

that first aired on a kqed show called perspectives featuring opinions from folks

living in the bay area if you haven't already heard it check them out you can find perspectives

on all the podcast apps and we'll have a link to the link in the description below

their feet in our show notes and away we go

as a high-risk disabled person i have been vigilant about staying safe and avoiding

infection during the pandemic unexpectedly this summer i had several medical crises that led to

four weeks in the icu i came home with a tracheostomy

a tube inside my throat attached to a ventilator allowing me to breathe

while recovering communication access is one of my greatest challenges since i can no longer speak

people have talked over me ignored me or became impatient as i type my responses

i currently use a text-to-speech app called proloquo for text the voice options are robotic

clinical and wide-ranging and i've been able to use it for a long time i've been able to use it for a long time

and i've been able to use it for a long time i've been able to use it for a long time and i've been able to use it for a long time

it also fails to capture my personality cadence and emotions right now can you feel what i am saying

using this technology has made me a better writer because every sentence has to have a succinct

purpose i will both mourn my loss and adapt to my new body because this is what it's like to be

disabled in a non-disabled world and non-speaking in a speaking world

you

and yet i can still grin devilishly roll my eyes sarcastically and my personal favorite

give the middle finger communication isn't solely my responsibility everyone should take a beat

care and make an effort to understand one another to quote my friend mia mingus access is love

i still have a voice and lots to say

oops there goes my voice

there goes my ventilator alarm with the perspective i'm alice wong

i want to give a huge thank you to kqed's perspectives podcast for sharing this episode

with us i also want to thank everyone at the san francisco museum of modern art who helped

make this season happen don't forget to follow and subscribe

to perspectives on your favorite platforms and you can find all their work at kqed.org perspectives

thanks again for listening and learning with us this season officially closing the

book on the raw material disability visibility mixtape catch you on the flip side

sounds like a gimmick little people living in a big world successful married couple to have kids girl

let me guess they are?

dinner too my friends ain't nothing but an interview the gang born in the lame medical

debt the brain body weren't identical yet we made a hell of a bet a hypothetical mess

now i give no fucks and it's incredible yes i'm still tangled up in a mic cable and not able to

eat at high tables or live life stable up at all your right labels but didn't get cat called and

ain't complaining at all they're like caitlin you talk too much shut up you walk too much

or is sex still the same i'm like give me some confidence now i got too much

the inspirational porn star oh my cute wheelchair costs as much as a sports car

look we got enough problems so neat for you to call a cop you can't solve one

tis the season get a job taking pics of santa in the middle of the mall unless you're good

at bagging groceries or pushing carts through the snow freeze good thing for goodwill oh please

every time i go to a show you can't see

you can't see

shit but i park front row but i don't ask for no pity so why you rapping so shitty

so tell me how the hell we gonna get in

lord knows where i'm heading it's hard out here for a gimp there's a stairway to heaven

so tell me how the hell we gonna get in

lord knows where i'm heading it's hard out here for a gimp there's a stairway to heaven

so tell me how the hell we gonna get in lord knows where i'm heading it's hard out here for a gimp

lord knows where i'm heading it's hard out here for a gimp there's a stairway to heaven

so tell me how the hell we gonna get in lord knows where i'm heading it's hard out here for a gimp

it's hard out here for a gimp

I'm going to end it.

I'm going to get it.

I'm going to end it.