Taverncast 62 - Temporal Anomaly

The following program was recorded on an earlier date for presentation at this time.

You disintegrated Einstein.

Calm down, Marty. I didn't disintegrate anything.

The molecular structure of both Einstein and the car are completely intact.

Where the hell are they?

The appropriate question is, when the hell are they?

You see, Einstein has just become the world's first time traveler.

I sent him into the future.

One minute into the future, to be exact.

And precisely, 1.21 a.m. in zero seconds, we shall catch up with him at the time machine.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Doc.

Are you telling me that you built a time machine?

Out of a DeLorean?

I've been working some long days.

Straight into some long nights.

But my mind keeps drifting away to those sweet Michigan delights.

Where my friends are all waiting.

No need for hesitating.

Don't worry about a thing.

Don't have a fear.

Cause happy hour don't start till you get here.

So pull up another chair.

And grab.

And grab a beer.

Cause happy hour don't start till you get here.

From the great state of Michigan and the American Midwest, it's time for good beer, great friends, and pure 100% fun.

This is TavernCast.

Welcome back to the bar. Grab a beer and pull up a seat.

This is TavernCast.

I'm Bill.

I'm Mike.

I'm Jen.

And I'm Bryce.

And that's everyone.

Check us out on iTunes, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Google, MySpace.

Is MySpace even around anymore?

That's not even on the list.

Yeah, it is, but we're not on MySpace.

We should be. All the cool kids are on MySpace from what I hear.

We're on AOL and stuff.

Actually, MySpace turned into like a, it's like a music hub now, isn't it?

Like independent music artists use it now?

Interesting. I don't know. Isn't that Pinterest?

They did three or four years ago. I don't know if they still do it.

Pandemonium.

I actually don't know. Is it still around?

Spotify.

I assume it's still open.

No idea. I never go to it, so.

Catch us on Instagram and Snapchat.

And for those of you that are looking for Grindr, you can find, I don't know, but search TavernCast.

You. You. Apparently. You are the only one with an official Grindr account.

You should search TavernCast on Grindr.

You can find Bill on Grindr at www.grindr.com slash InfernalWilliam.

InfernalWilliam.

Yes.

And remember, swipe left.

You should do a search for those terms on that.

InflamedWilliam.

On that app and find out exactly what comes up.

I'm sure there's a cream for that.

Scientists, writers, Hollywood, and everyday people have dreamed about it for centuries.

Time travel.

Is it possible? Where would you go? What would you even want to try? That's tonight.

But first.

What are we drinking?

When you hear the tone it will be exactly.

Time to get a drink.

Just a little drink.

Any little drink.

Will do.

It really goes down, is it?

Before the evening ends.

All right, tonight we have a delightful beer.

It is the Stone Brewing Company Arrogant Bastard Ale.

And you know what?

We had a beer like this on the show a long, long time ago.

But I think that one was Dirty Bastard.

Really?

Yep.

Way, way back.

Like ODB?

Like the first couple of shows.

Yeah.

This one's interesting though because it says.

This is ABA.

I can't read it.

I was asking for my phone so I can light it up so I can read it.

I'm looking at the bottle and I'm blind.

I can't read what it says.

This one's got an interesting thing on the back.

It says.

It's an aggressive beer.

It says, Bryce, you're old and your eyesight can barely make this out.

And I am not kidding about that.

Holy crap.

Can you read that?

Arrogance.

Okay.

I can read it.

All right.

It says.

Remember the show last time about being over 40?

Well.

This is one of those other things that changes.

In my day.

You can't see anything when it's dark.

In my day, I used to be able to read the back of beer bottles.

Oh, you know what?

They were delightful.

Here's an easier way to do this.

On the back of the beer bottle it says.

And I'm just going to.

I'm not going to read the whole thing.

It says, this is an aggressive ale.

You probably won't like it.

It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to drink it.

But if you are able to appreciate and nail this quality in depth, we would suggest that

you stick to safer and more familiar territory.

Maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it's made

at a little brewery or one that implies that their tasteless, fizzy, yellow beverage will

give you more sex appeal.

Hey.

What's up with that?

Sort of arrogant wouldn't you say?

These are arrogant bastards.

All of them.

Arrogant.

This reminds me of that commercial that's floating around right now for some kind of

apple, alcoholic apple cider thing where there's this dude in the front and he's like, he's

tasting a beer bottle.

And he's like, ooh, I'm getting Oak Town.

And he goes, I smell leather.

And then like the thing drops from the sky and explodes as frou-frou beer.

But I look at that commercial and I'm like, you're talking about me.

That's I'm the guy who is like, welcome to Oak Town.

I'm like, screw you guys and your fake alcohol drink.

Give me a Budweiser.

Budweiser, you're off the show.

So arrogant bastard ale is from Stone Brewing Company there in California.

It is an American strong ale.

I don't think in all of the taverns.

Taverns that we're aware of or on ONTAP, we've ever had an American strong before.

What is an American strong?

I mean, why is it?

Is it alcoholic content?

I know it has similarities to barley wines and old ales, which we have had.

Those were the ones we had at Ashley's that we liked.

Some are barrel aged.

So this is going to probably be a pretty, I would guess, malty and strong ale.

Yeah.

I would say that this is probably going to be an aggressive beer.

Yeah.

I'm going to probably say I won't even like it.

Yeah.

You know why you wouldn't like it?

Because you're one of those guys on that apple cider commercial drinking that apple

cider.

You're from LA.

I really don't have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality

and depth.

No.

No, you don't.

This might as well be brewed in Detroit.

All right.

Well, cheers, everybody.

We'd clink, but we're using plastic.

What?

You haven't even opened it, Bill?

No.

Mine's like.

Dude, how long have you been on the show?

Get the beer open.

You know how this goes.

It's his first day.

Hold on.

Let's pour.

We're very good at this.

Good, because we needed those sound effects.

We pre-poured.

This thing is huge.

Cheers, everybody.

Prost.

Clink, clink, clink.

Ooh, daddy like.

Actually, it's really interesting.

It's malty, and then it's super bitter.

Yeah.

Smelling it, I was like, oh, it's going to be really malty and sweet, and then I taste

it, and I'm just like, oh my gosh, it's not.

Run away.

It's not at all.

So we have.

It's really strong.

Wow.

Yeah.

Are you very.

And it's super cloudy.

Are you guys seeing the same kind of cloudy, cloudiness?

No, because we have them in red leftover paper cups from Christmas with a reindeer and a

peppermint stick on it.

I mean, it really is a nice color.

It's not.

It's between like a dark brown and an amber, but very cloudy.

It's got to be all the hops, wouldn't you say?

So we got Hawk Julie in the studio.

Listening in to the recording.

And Hawk Julie is Hawk Mike's significant other.

Hawk Julie, what do you think about the beer?

Hawk Julie.

I have to say, I actually really like it.

Apparently, I like a man's beer.

I don't know.

Oh.

Uh-oh.

She done brong it.

Do you like it?

Yeah.

You usually don't like bitter beer.

It's not bad.

I actually don't like bitter beers usually, but I kind of like this one.

So does that.

I can get over.

Bryce, does that mean you also like a man's beard?

A man's beard?

Yes, I do.

Oh, oh, oh.

Sorry.

I didn't hear that correctly.

Oh.

Sorry.

I didn't hear that correctly originally.

I can get over the hoppiness with the strength of the alcohol.

I'm good with that.

I got to say, this is one of the better-

Everything's better with the strength of the alcohol.

I may have a problem.

I think this is one of the better beers we've had on the show.

It's also one of the more-

Oh, really?

More bitter beers that we've had on the show.

But yeah, it's really drinkable.

You know, Beer Advocate gives this a 97% rating, which is in their world class category on

the site.

Really?

Yeah.

The world class example of the style, they say.

It's good because it is what it is.

It's not trying to be something it's not.

For example, it's not like, you know, it doesn't have like crazy maple-

Can you say that again?

Thanks.

Was that more or less significantly relevant to our conversation?

A lot of the other beers that we have have got like this sort of gimmick to them, or

at least, I know it's probably not a gimmick, but in my mind, it's a gimmick like, you know,

it's either got, you know, this one tastes like bacon.

This one tastes like celery.

This one tastes like, you know, you've infused it with some kind of fruit.

This one tastes like beer.

It does.

This one tastes like hop.

This one tastes like beer.

Like hop.

Yeah, exactly.

I like it.

So we will recommend Stone Brewing Company Arrogant Bastard Ale.

It gets at least, well, it gets one, two, three, three thumbs up in the studio and one

thumbs down.

I give it-

Oh, Jen.

Jen, what don't you-

I give it-

Go ahead.

How would I give it a plain?

Because honestly, I think their Dirty Bastard actually was more-

More malty.

Yeah, definitely more malty, more fun to drink.

Well, all this proves is that there are two men in the studio and two little girls.

Don't call Julie a man.

Jen, why don't you like this beer?

Do you not like hoppy beers or is this just-

I'm actually not a big fan of hoppy beers and I, I don't know, I mean, like, I agree

with what you were saying.

It has beautiful color to it and it actually is, it's very crisp and clean, which I do

actually enjoy that aspect of it, but I'll be honest, the aftertaste to it to me is,

I feel like a skunk is in my mouth.

Skunk is in my mouth.

It's like an ashtray.

It's like you swallowed an ashtray.

Yeah.

Not attractive.

I think it's a party in your mouth.

Oh.

Do you like bitter stuff usually, Julie?

Yeah, I do.

Heck yeah.

Well, who she's with.

Oh, man.

Where are you going with that?

Bought her money.

Cut that out.

Oh, by the way, too, Stone is the company that makes Ruination IPA.

Any of you guys ever had that?

No.

Ruination is famous.

Ruination is famous because it's the most expensive beer in the world.

Yeah, definitely.

I've never had an IPA.

I don't know if I've ever had it, though.

We probably would hate it.

Like, if this is a regular beer and it's as bitter as this, can you imagine what ...

This is a strong ...

I know, but can you imagine, though?

This is a regular beer from their collection, so can you imagine what a high IBU beer ... That's

bitterness, Unity.

Yeah.

I know.

Yeah.

I know.

It's NPS, by the way.

It's called, Ruination, for God's sake.

God.

I don't know.

If this is growing on me, actually.

I like it.

The more I drink it, the more I like it.

So these ... are the days of our lives.

Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.

All right.

So, I'm just going to kick it off.

I'm going to start with me, because I'm in ranting mode.

This is going to be cool.

Brace yourselves.

Are we going politics?

No, no, no.

So I've been trying to go.

You've been using a desktop here at work, a desktop computer.

And Mr. Monan over here has been doing all this great stuff where he takes his laptop out and he works remotely like all over the place.

Literally.

Everywhere.

All over the world.

And so inspired by his exploits, I've been like, you know what?

It's about time I buck up and I get a laptop again.

It's been several years since I've had one.

So I take my time.

I decide not to go to the Apple store, but instead I go to a local place that specializes in Apple computers.

And I go, you know, this will be better because my theory was, is that if you go to like a local place and not the Apple store, you might get like better service and you might get like, you know, a better warranty or hands on.

Wait, does that local place have 170 billion in cash too?

So, so I go to this local place that's an authorized Apple retailer a month ago and I order a MacBook Pro a month ago and I asked for one thing to be changed, which is it had a one terabyte drive in it and I wanted a two terabyte drive in it.

Oh, look at Mr. Fancy Pants.

The way I originally understood it was, is that I was going to send this, or I was going to get this laptop, it was going to come from Apple.

They were going to crack it open, put the two terabyte drive in and deliver it.

And when they first tell me, it's like, it's a week and a half to two weeks.

You realize, you realize all they did was they went on the Apple site and they configured it and ordered it.

Yeah, that's exactly what, that's exactly what happened.

And at week three, which would have been last week, I called and said, where's the laptop?

So they tell me, oh, it says, we don't know.

It says that it's in manufacturing.

That's all they did.

Yeah, that's totally what they did.

What does manufacturing mean?

Does that mean it's in China somewhere?

I mean, like how long, if I went to the Apple store, I probably could have walked out of the store with it.

So, okay.

So I'm trying to be patient, right?

Laptop finally gets here today.

I actually have a need for that laptop this particular weekend.

I've got a projector.

I need to project something with it.

I need it, right?

It shows up.

I'm like, hallelujah, the laptop's here.

I bring it home.

One terabyte.

I unbox it.

I'm ready to sync it up with the old hard drives and everything.

Turn it on.

And this is what the fan sounds like the second I hit power.

It's like a weed whacker.

It's like a gas-powered weed whacker with like a deck of cards stuck in the fan.

So, you know, I try to power it down.

Bryce, I can tell you right now, I've been using Macs for years.

That's not good.

No, no.

These guys built it for you.

They tested it, right?

No, apparently not.

No.

So I got to take it back now.

And you know what I'm afraid they're going to tell me?

They're going to send it back.

It's going to be like three weeks again for me to get the laptop back.

It'll probably be longer.

I'm curious.

What premium are they charging you for this excellent service?

Yeah, exactly.

I saved about $100.

I was going to say, so the moral of this story is do not go to the mom and pop store.

Do not favor the little guy.

Do not support America.

Support big business.

Thank you, everybody.

Good night.

It kind of is.

Like, I'm really pissed.

I'm just like, I've never had an experience this bad with any Apple product.

And it's all due to the fact that I didn't go through Apple.

I decided to, like, give business to somebody.

So let this be a lesson to you.

Service freaking matters.

Service does matter.

Absolutely.

And they've, that's, so I'd be curious what the thought was that they were going to give you as far as service.

Like, what were you going to win by doing that?

Here, okay, so the thought revolved around an idea completely divorced from computers, which is,

and I was talking about this last show.

If you go out and you buy yourself a lawn tractor, if you go to Home Depot or Lowe's or Menards or whatever

and you get a tractor, you're going to get a tractor.

The people there don't know really what they're selling.

They're just guys that are hired to work in Home Depot.

Maybe some of them do.

Maybe they don't, right?

But usually you don't get really good service with them.

You bring it back to Home Depot, they're not servicing it there.

They're sending it off someplace.

So you don't get any help there.

You get, you pay pretty much the same price or maybe even a little bit more at the big box stores,

but you get no hands-on service with it, right?

So if you go to a place like a local, like, lawn and garden supply shop or a farm store or something,

the people there actually will...

they know what they're doing.

They take the time to walk around the thing and show you.

And if you bring it back to them,

they usually have all these plans where they'll bring it out to you

and they'll come get it and they'll service it

and they'll do all this kind of stuff.

So I think in the back of my mind, I'm thinking,

I know this little place, they're an Apple reseller.

If I have any problems with it, it'll be better to deal with them one-on-one

instead of having to go to the Genius Bar in the mall and dealing with Apple.

You wanted to feel the love.

That was a bad idea, wasn't it?

You essentially went to Home Depot, though.

Right. The computer's not a tractor,

and basically they just Home Depoted it back to you.

Right. I mean, literally, if what Mike is saying is true

and they just went on the website, I mean, anybody could have done that.

I could have done that.

I could have ordered it myself.

But you know what? If it works, Amazon would have sent it to me or whoever.

But you know what, though? The concept should work, right?

I mean, there does seem to be a market for the small mom-and-pop computer store

that's going to give you some personal attention.

You just didn't go to that one.

The problem is, when he called, I asked, like, last week, I said,

well, where's your computer? Because it's been a couple weeks.

And he's like, I don't know. I should call.

They didn't know. They were like, oh, yeah, we're working on it.

The guy's trying to reformat the disk.

Oh, so they're just bullshitting.

They totally BS'd.

No, they were totally BS'd.

They had no idea who he was when he called.

It came sealed from the factory.

I know. That's what I'm saying.

I don't even know. See, this is the thing.

I haven't had to have it on long enough yet because of the fan issue

that sounds like it's nicked against some wire or something in there.

And I can't take it apart because I'll break the warranty.

What you're talking about right there is the reason why these shops are large.

So there's a reason for these shops.

When I was at U of M, we had a local Mac repair shop

that you'd take your computer in if you're having problems.

They would actually take it apart.

They would replace parts and stuff like that.

But just like cars these days, it's very difficult for anybody

who's not a very professional understanding with all the manuals

and all the computers and all the tools,

which usually means send it to the dealership.

Or send it to someone who's very good.

These stores are obsolete now.

They're just going to send it out to Apple.

You know what's really bugging me too?

Because I haven't had it on long enough to get into the OS and check it,

I don't trust they actually put the extended drive in there.

I bet Apple did.

I just don't trust them. How am I supposed to know?

The fan isn't even working.

The whole package costs nearly $5,000.

You wanted to get into the open source?

The OS.

Yeah, the OS.

The OS.

Dude, you don't even know what URL is.

The on significant.

No one cares about what you're saying right now.

The only second.

So that's my rant of the week.

Mr. Monin, you said you had some interesting things this week.

Yeah, we had an interesting week.

We actually got a new dog.

Yay!

It came home Friday.

We now have a little golden doodle dog named Messy.

Messy?

S-I.

S-I, like the soccer player.

Good name.

So I didn't get this.

That behavior or what?

When he first posted this on Facebook and I saw the dog,

and it's like, I think it was Hawk Julie who posted the dog picture,

and I'm looking at Messy and I'm like, is this some Italian name?

What does Messy mean?

What is this?

And then it finally hit me.

You named all your dogs Zizou was the soccer player.

My old dog's name was Zizou, named after Zinedine Zidane,

named after a very, very talented and excellent,

so arguably Lionel Messy is probably the best soccer player we may ever see in our lifetime.

Ronaldo?

Yeah, I know.

I agree.

I totally, I love, what's his name?

Yeah.

Right.

It's a labradoodle.

It's a labradoodle because Hawk Julie's got a little bit of a,

I'm sorry, a golden doodle.

I was going to say Julie's like part golden.

I'm like, no, she's not.

She's blonde.

There's a difference.

Wow.

Just wait until she's on the show with a mic and Mike won't be doing so well.

So Hawk Julie's got a little bit of dog allergy,

so we figured we'd go with the doodle part of it.

I really wanted a golden, so we went with the golden doodle.

Made a Frankenstein.

And so along with that, so just, we also fenced in the yard because you got a puppy,

you got to be able to put him in the backyard and have him not run away.

Okay.

Well, part of that.

Part of that was an electronic gate that we put across the driveway

because the way our yard is set up, you basically got to fence the driveway too.

So we did a lot of thinking and I worked with a carpenter buddy of mine

and we put this gate together, created it and got a big opener,

like a farm opener, like an extender thing.

Across the driveway?

Yeah.

It goes right across the driveway.

So it makes it look like a castle.

It's kind of cool.

The problem is somebody pointed out, they're like, well, what are you going to do in the winter?

And I was like.

Does it swing?

Yeah, it swings.

Oh, no.

So there's like about two and three quarter inch clearance under it.

Oh, no.

And there's a wheel that runs on the ground because the gate's heavy.

Yeah.

So anyone in the rest of the world listening to this who doesn't live in a climate where it snows is going,

I don't get it.

Yeah.

Picture a door in your house and on the other side of the door is like two feet of marshmallow fluff.

Now try and open the door.

No, how about slush?

How about when it's like eight inches of slush?

Yeah.

It could be eight inches of gravel.

Yeah, I kind of.

So now I'm going to be like, okay.

Walk out the front door with your shovel.

I think there's some things I can do to the thing, but I was trying to brainstorm.

I was like, maybe I can put like a flamethrower on the bottom of it.

So you flip on the flamethrower and it just clears it as it goes.

Can you get one of those gas fireplaces and just flip it upside down?

Probably.

So you get a remote control and it'll just melt everything, right?

The thing's stronger.

I could strap a tank, a propane tank to it.

Oh, I like it.

With like a couple of nozzles.

You can just like spray it on.

Is it too late to consider that lava moat you were looking at?

Well, it's a castle.

You need a moat.

Hello.

Aren't there driveways in Michigan that are heated though?

Like they can run electrical wire into the pavement?

Yeah, but heated driveways and two feet of snow.

It's not going to ever seem like it works very well.

We had one when I was growing up.

We had a heated driveway and it basically what it did is it melted most of the snow.

The rest of it turned into ice.

Yeah.

Down the steep driveway formed like a gigantic ice dam on the bottom of the driveway.

And that's why Bryce got sued.

Sounds lovely.

He doesn't live in that house anymore.

So you got to – it's a golden doodle.

I think my folks actually have a Labrador doodle, which is a Labrador retriever and

a doodle.

But I've seen other ones because we were looking into that as well and they've got

like German doodles, pit doodles, boxer doodles.

I think they even have a Chihuahua doodle, which just goes to show a poodle will have

sex with anything really.

late night music with more than just a ration of passion

tonight's topic time travel so what we want to talk about here is um could time travel actually

even be possible and if it was possible like what kind of technology would it require

i think we'll see something like that ever in our lifetimes and well there still are some

deloreans

you

i saw one driving around it doesn't mean their time mike what just i'm just fyi dude that's a

movie flex capacity what do you guys think time travel even possible you know i looked this up a

little bit on the internet because that's where all the answers of human knowledge lie and there

was like a an article of god of a guy in england that even that sort of referenced that i'm sorry

i'm on the wrong computer now but he referenced that you know

einstein's theory of relativity suggests that time travel to the future is possible i think that's

not too far-fetched right he said to the future really yeah going to the because usually it's

the going into the future that i read that is the hard one that's going into the past they think you

could do no no you i think you've got it reversed you go into the future just your mom's got it

reversed you do you get because wait i'm time traveling right now but there was a crazy guy

in england in 2013 that sort of surmised that you could go back in time and it was just the

weird funky way of saying like you'd have to create a wormhole and then tie the wormhole to

a spaceship's first moment in time as it travels through space and you go to a certain place and

you come back but not through the wormhole it would take you less time than it or yeah less

time than it took you to get there because the time in the wormhole is different so you'd end up

back at earth like three months before you left so this is all very scientific it was more like

mathematical equation to prove that you could go back in time but it seems is he saying is he

saying though that the wormhole is tied to the ship and whatever original point that the ship

left from like is it a machine like is there a some sort of like energy hub or plant or something

correct there's like you have to create some kind of a gosh darn it i wish i had the article in

front of me but the but the gist of it is that you have to create a wormhole right and there's

a principle there's a scientific principle that it's like the heisenberg principle or heisenberg

principle of wormholes of wormholes correct right yeah yeah yeah

so the heisenberg principle is so full of shit but you don't know no no i know it's on star trek

the heisenberg principle of wormholes is something along the lines that it's you have to

you you you have to create an event that creates a lot of energy very fast i'm sure i'm getting

that wrong but it's something like that no that's right because the problem with wormholes is they

know theoretically they're possible to make the issue is generating enough power that's it so you

have to create a singularity right yeah singularity and you have that's like a black hole or sun in

loading or something like that yep you got it this is what they're trying to do the collider

yeah well that's what some that's what some suggest could happen that's one of the possible

like so if they run the collider zero zero zero zero one percent chances of failure open a wormhole

and we can all go back in time that's one possibility save the earth the other possibility

is they could open a portal to one of any number of dimensions and either we can go through or bad

things can come out right but the thing is is that the travel back in time they were surmising

is limited to the event of the event of the event of the event of the event of the event of the event

the invention of the machine that takes you back in time so you couldn't go back to a point in time

that was before the invention of that machine so for example stephen hawking did an experiment where

he broadcast something on like latitude and longitude and on a certain date to any time

travelers in the future to have a time traveler convention and no one showed up it's so like so

so it's basically like you need a beacon in the past of some kind well you'd need to have the

technology in the past to be able to get forward again so you could have a time traveler convention

no can't you just bring the technology with you from the future it depends on exactly how you do

the transmission like how are you actually this is one of the things that i was talking about i was

thinking about when we were talking about this uh subject is are what are you actually doing are you

taking a particular object and moving it through space and time or are you actually having to fold

and change space and time and the state the object actually stays stationary what's actually changing

is it you know what i'm saying

i do but listen so you just blew my mind if you look if you do here's my favorite part if you go on

google and you do a search of is it possible here are the things you will find is it possible to get

pregnant during your period is it possible to grow taller is it possible to fly number four

is it possible to go back in time number five is it possible to get a bigger butt so we see

we see the importance of time

i've been working on that that's definitely possible when it when it when it becomes the

first um search completion term on google that's when we know time travel has become possible

that's right is it you just type is it possible yeah i just did the search the search completion

is yes you have to see the scientist this guy's name is william hart i'm sorry brian cox

and he is there's a picture of him in the article the young british scientist

right that's it and there's a picture of him holding a lady's um stiletto heel and he's holding

it to his ear like it's a phone so we know that he is a little so he's like maxwell smart he's like

he's like the neil degrasse tyson of britain a little bit younger and white yep that's right

is he a millennial he's probably a little older he's a little bit no he's probably our age yeah

well maybe younger forget that guy yeah yeah millennials

what do they do but play league of legends nothing all they do is own you on league of

legends all day long what good are they what do these guys even do nothing but here's the thing

like you could travel forward in time fairly easily right i mean because of einstein's theory

of relativity being able to well because you slow down like the faster you go the faster you approach

the speed of light the i see you're talking about like the planet of the apes exactly precisely

so you but

but the point is but you'd never be able to go back so you'd be able to see things in the future

but would that that doesn't really sound that appealing to me so there there are some there

are some scientists in quantum physics that suggest um along the ideas of um i think it's

string theory but that the fourth dimension is a um uh kind of like an elastic band and if they

could figure out how to basically punch a a wormhole into the fourth dimension they could

that band which is like the timeline of history and they could go back to it and return from it

basically like attaching a string to another string and that's how they could go back and

forth but again that's all these weird like mathematical theories it's all very theoretical

science fiction books basically yeah well and then there's all these things too like that it um you

know wouldn't it be dangerous right like aren't there um like the grandfather paradox right so

that's the thing where if you were able to go back in time and you encountered one of your relatives

and you killed them

or something right would you ever actually be born then and you could wipe yourself out from

history but then isn't it doesn't that mean then if you come out from history that you were never

left in the first place we're gonna send you back to the future and then there's the whole idea of

like the butterfly effect right so let's say you go way way back in time to like you know the

jurassic era or something and you you know step on a bug and because you stepped on a single bug

it irrevocably changes the history of the planet

the lizard that was going to eat that bug was the lizard that evolved into something that would

evolve into something else it would evolve into man and that and that lizard starved because it

didn't eat that bug right so this is the kind of stuff they always bring up in movies now so let's

assume let's assume because we're never going to answer there's no answer oh yes there is

actually we did we proved at one point on tavern cast if you recall that if you scream into the

mic loud enough that you break the time space continuum and you're going to die and then you're

And time travel becomes possible.

We actually proved it, and it happened.

It's on an episode.

I think it's a Christmas episode, actually.

Mike didn't listen to that one, though.

All right, so let's assume that time travel is possible

and get into some interesting theoretical questions.

So let's do backwards time travel first, so traveling back in time.

Let's just go around the table here.

If you could pick one event in history or one time period, one date, whatever,

where would you travel to, and why would you go there?

Let's start with Jen.

Is this a one-way trip, or can we go back?

Come back.

Let's assume.

This is Mr. Peabody.

You're just touring time, right?

Let's assume you can come back.

Okay.

But that's an interesting point, because it would change the answer, I would assume.

Well, yeah.

If it's a one-way trip, you might not go.

Yeah, if it's a one-way trip, then I'm probably not going to come back.

Better bring some penicillin.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Okay, so wait.

That's interesting.

So I want to know both, because that's interesting.

I want to know, where would you go if you could come back, and why?

And where would you go if you couldn't come back?

And I guess I don't need to know as much why, but whatever you want to say.

I would go back to the time when before Skynet.

Well, I've always been curious about a couple of specific periods of time,

one of them being, and everybody's going to groan on this one,

but one of them definitely being the Middle Ages.

No.

I know.

I know that that's kind of like, there's this part of me that says,

oh, it's kind of this romantic thing.

You're romanticizing it.

If I were you, I would not go back.

Right, but that's the thing.

When you think about it, you're like, maybe the plague time's not the best plan.

No, remember they made that movie about that timeline?

Yeah, yeah.

That didn't work out so well for those people.

Yeah, it didn't.

And actually, when I watched that movie, I was like, oh, dude,

yeah, you probably would have really gotten screwed.

Literally.

Like that poor French guy.

Yeah, literally.

But like that poor French guy that shows up in the middle of that war,

and the only reason he gets killed is because he's French, you know?

And, yeah, it was.

I have this feeling that the romantic idea of women in that era

is not quite what it's cracked up to be.

No, no, definitely not.

Unless you show up and you happen to be royalty and people buy into it,

then maybe.

And even then.

All I've got to do is go tell them, hey, this is my castle.

If we're going to Germany, I'm good.

Hey, I've watched Game of Thrones.

Don't end up like Sansa.

That's what I'm just saying.

Okay, so why the Middle Ages?

Just curiosity?

Yeah, more curiosity.

I've just always thought it would be interesting to actually see.

I guess I've always wondered, like, how do people actually live?

But that brings me to the place that I think that I,

after I've really thought about this,

the thing that I really want to do is I want to go back

and I want to see the pyramids being built in Egypt.

So you can call bullets.

You're going to be like, aliens.

I want to know how the hell.

That's a laser beam.

Come on, you can't have a tractor ready.

Seriously.

And then I want to see what else did they have?

Like, you know, there had to have been some crazy technology.

If we can't replicate that construction to this day

with all of our modern technology, we cannot do what they did.

I want to know, A, how the hell they did it,

and B, what else did they make that we don't have?

They're levitating that five-ton block with sound waves.

No, I told you, I already think it's magnets.

That's my philosophy.

I think it's magnets.

All right, all right.

So if you could go back,

and one-way trip, one-way trip, where?

It would be Egypt.

It would be Egypt?

You would go on a one-way trip to Egypt?

Yeah.

What if you're totally wrong,

and it's just like the pharaohs and their slave labor

dragging that stuff up with ropes and pulleys,

and you get drafted into pulling it up with ropes and pulleys?

Do you even know Aramaic?

In Egypt.

Yeah, but I'll be a redhead with blue eyes in Egypt.

Hello.

Oh, so you'd be stoned.

No, no.

No, so she's playing the God small g card.

Thank you.

She's like,

I am Zub.

I am Zul.

Worship me.

I am Amat-Ra.

All right, moaning.

I keep trying to think what would be good to go back to.

So you want to go back to Woodstock?

That might be kind of fun.

How about this?

I'm going to go back to last week with the knowledge.

You go to, wait a minute.

In all the history of mankind, you go to a rock concert?

Or last week.

I'm going to go last week because I know what the lotto numbers are.

Oh.

Last week.

And that's what I'm going to bet on.

That's fair.

Game the system.

All right, so what if you had a one-way trip?

Is it just last week?

Oh, yeah.

Definitely.

You do last week both times?

And then I'm going to be telling people what they're going to do, and they'd be freaked

out.

It'd be hilarious.

It's such a Mike answer.

He's all of history in front of me.

He's like, dude, I go back last week and win the lotto.

Dude, I can't go beyond the computer age.

I'm going back to the new.

It's true.

But was it a big lottery jackpot last week?

There's a billion dollar one in New York.

Oh.

All right, so Jen would become a small G god in Egypt.

Mike would go back to last week.

What are you going to do, Bill?

Geez, I don't know, man.

There's so many great moments in history, right?

You'd want to either go observe.

The question then is you have to decide, do you just want to be an observer, or do you

want to try to change history?

Do you want to go back and try to kill Hitler, or do you want to try to save John Lennon

for Mike's rock and roll fantasy?

Or do you want to ... There's so many great moments in history.

There's so many things you could try to do.

Or do you want to see the birth of Christ, or do you want to be there with the apostles

when Christ is later in his life?

Or witness the resurrection?

The problem is it's one way.

You've got to learn back then, though.

No, no, no.

He can go.

Remember, it's ...

Oh, all right.

Yeah.

So give us your you can go and come back answer.

We're tired of this.

It's tough.

It was tough for Mike, too, but he went back a whole week, so let's get with it.

I would definitely go back for the birth of Christ, right?

That would ... I mean, that's sort of like ...

Regardless of your religion, that is a significant moment in the history of the world, right?

The number of people's lives that that event had changed, has changed, continues to change.

I mean, 2,000 years later, it's so incredibly significant.

And if you are religious, I mean, that's probably the pinnacle of everything, right?

I mean, that's just such a super huge event.

That would definitely work for me.

All right.

So how about this?

How about going back to Adam and Eve?

That's pretty big.

Yeah, but they were .

Wait.

Yeah.

All right.

So do your one-way trip then.

My one-way trip is I would go back in time and hang out with Ben Franklin.

That dude was awesome.

I mean, in terms of just being a scholar, an inventor, and living life to its fullest.

I mean, the guy got gout, for God's sakes, right?

God.

He went to France, and he saw an amazing thing, shaped the form of the nation.

I would want to go back in time to pal around with Benjamin Franklin.

Yeah.

So that's one aspect of Ben Franklin.

The other aspect of Ben Franklin is he was like a crazy libertine.

You wouldn't just go to Paris to talk to the philosophers.

You would be drunk, and in orgies, and in crazy smoking rooms.

What if he didn't like you?

What if he was like, dude, you're a good example.

You're a goody-two-shoes.

Get out of here.

I'm sorry.

He wouldn't like me.

I'm not following what you're saying.

What are you ...

How is that possible?

No one likes this.

He'd say, put the big goofy head back on.

That's funny.

All right.

So for mine, if it was a two-way trip, I would want to go to about March 10th, 33 AD.

Martin Luther King?

About the week or so before Passover in 33 AD, because I want to see the death of Christ.

Oh.

I don't want to see the birth.

I want to see the death.

You're such a downer.

A downer.

I want to see the end of those events to forever put to bed any doubt on that issue.

So you're going to stake out the tomb?

He's going to be one of the three ...

Theoretically, I wouldn't have to do it longer than three days, right?

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

People have camped out longer for Star Wars, okay?

Let's not get crazy.

It's true.

Yeah.

Okay.

Now Mike just said Adam and Eve.

Think about that.

That actually is somewhat compelling.

Got to be like, Adam, who the are you?

Hi, I'm Bryce.

Oh, wait a minute.

So if it was a one-way trip, I don't know when, but I have this feeling that I would

like the 50s.

So I think I would go back to the 50s.

What's that?

Oh.

50s.

Yeah, leave it to Peter.

50s as a young kid.

Like elementary school.

What you doing, babe?

Just burning rope now?

Right.

That way I live through all the golden age of America.

I miss Korea and the Vietnam War, and I get to live through all the best stuff and never

have to go to anywhere bad.

And you'd be in Mad Men.

You'd be doing the same thing in Mad Men.

Which would be awesome.

Good music, good suits, good looking women.

What's wrong with this?

I don't know.

I'm just saying.

You have a wife, are you sure?

Not in the 50s.

I don't know.

I'm just saying.

You have a wife, are you sure?

Not in the 50s.

All right.

Still staying in the past.

Bill, you brought this up.

If you could go back in time and erase a person or kill a person or whole people groups or

a single event.

Whole people groups.

I would wipe out entire groups of people.

This is assuming then that you would go to a point where genocide is not really the factor.

It's more like a racial ancestor or somebody.

You wipe all this stuff out from history.

What would it be?

What would you expect the outcome of your actions to be?

What would you hope for?

Why would you do it?

Would you do it?

Bill, you start.

I mean, obviously, you take your great or your well-known horrible characters

of history, Hitler probably being the first and foremost in modern history, and you go

back and you wipe him out.

But it's questionable whether if you assassinated Hitler, whether someone else would rise to

take his place and then commit the same atrocities that he did.

Or be worse.

Yeah.

So maybe you'd have to take out like ...

Yeah.

Can you imagine Heinrich Himmler running the Nazis?

Right.

You'd have to take out Himmler.

You'd have to take out Hitler.

You'd have to take out his whole group of guys, right?

So maybe you take out him and all of his lieutenants.

So that's probably like maybe 1,000 people, 1,001 people.

Yeah.

1,001 people?

Sort of horrible to think about.

This is assuming you could even do that.

Assuming you could do that.

Like have the heart to go and ... You know, the needs of the many, right?

You'd kill 1,001 Germans and to avoid sort of World War II, and you know ...

All right.

So you would do the typical stop the rise of Nazi Germany and prevent World War II.

I would focus on that, but I'm not sure if I would have the heart to do it.

Okay.

Jen, what do you got?

See, this one's actually really tough for me because I'm one of those people that feels

like everything happens for a reason.

And so it's hard for me to sit there and say there is anything that I would necessarily

change.

Like I even think about, you know, like, oh, like we talk about, you know, if you can go

back to a different time and change anything in your life, what would you do?

And I'm like, I feel like if I change something, then I might not end up where I'm at.

And I actually really like where I'm at.

Yeah.

If I change something in the past, who knows what other people I would affect.

And then, I mean, yeah, taking out Hitler, it sounds like it's a good idea and I'm not

saying that it's not a good idea, but there's a lot of other things that have happened between

now and then.

What else might not have happened?

I mean, so you have World War II and it was a horrible experience.

But from World War II, there were so many amazing bits of technology that have come

out.

I mean, like we embrace nowadays, like we watched that movie about the guy that did

the code breaking machine.

The imitation game.

Yeah.

The imitation game.

And I mean, he essentially created the basis for computing.

I mean, like he actually was one of the first-

This was Turing, by the way.

So what you're saying is if they didn't have Hitler, then Benedict Cumberbatch would

be out of a job.

Exactly.

And that would be horrible.

Horrible.

I love him.

All right.

Mike?

Yeah.

So I'm going to go back and erase something.

I think the Nazis committed incredible atrocities against huge numbers of people.

And it seems like that's an obvious choice to just say, hey, yeah, we're not going to

let that happen.

But what about like Genghis Khan?

Yeah.

I mean, you could pick any number of different genocidal type things.

You can go to Hitler.

I mean, Hitler's an obvious one that's close to our lifetime.

Yeah.

Obviously, there's Genghis Khan.

Yeah.

And there's Napoleon Bernadette.

And there's a number of genocides that's happening even today in Africa and stuff like that.

You could erase all that stuff.

It'd be tough to pick one.

Hitler's obviously the most obvious one.

But it would probably be something like that.

I can't.

See, and for me, I'm listening to all you guys say this.

And I mean, I'd probably come up with things that are just as obvious.

But I would probably not do it.

Just because the ramifications.

The ramifications for removing something like that from the timeline without knowing

what it would do seems potentially more treacherous than just letting it play out regardless of

how bad it was.

Right?

I literally think about that.

How do you tell that to those people?

Well, you can't.

That's a good question.

So here's the thing.

From a rational perspective, I think, Bryce, you're right.

But as soon as it becomes personal, it becomes emotional.

No, I get it.

Right.

Right?

I just think about, like, you brought up the thing, like, if you took out Hitler, you'd

have to take out his lieutenant.

So I think, let's say you could only take out one.

You took out Hitler.

Now you have, let's say, Himmler rises up to be in charge.

Heinrich Himmler is a completely different dude than Adolf was from the standpoint of

Himmler may have been a lot more cautious and a lot less blatantly aggressive in his

military tactics.

Yeah, I get that.

But the thing is, is that if he, he was pretty charismatic.

Not the lead of people, though.

Not as much as Hitler was.

No.

But the point is, is that had he been able to, if the Nazi regime was already going by

the time you pull Hitler off, if Himmler took over, Himmler may have waited on attacking

the Soviets.

And if he had, if anyone had done that, we all might be speaking German at this point.

Because it was the Russians that beat him.

He attacked the Soviets and the Soviets beat him.

Well, here's the other, the other aspect.

So he took out more than he could chew.

The other aspect of this is actually taking somebody out before they've committed the

crime.

So we know in retrospect, right?

That's the part.

That's the part of this.

We know in history what happened.

But now if you're actually taking out the ones that were likely to succeed Hitler and

commit similar atrocities, they haven't committed any crime yet.

Well, there was that, there was that old.

You could kill them when they're children.

Pre-crime.

Yeah.

Minority report.

So what about, but what about instead of killing someone, maybe just doing something that changes

their life?

You just cut off a couple of arms, a couple of toes, maybe.

No, no, no.

You just go in your room and say, hey.

Like Hitler wanted to be an artist, right?

What if you showed him compassion and gave him an art studio?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

You go in there, you just hobble the guy.

You say, look, you're Adolfy.

I don't know what, you know, you kind of beat him up a little bit.

You say, look at that haircut you got.

You don't need that haircut, stupid.

And you just punch him in the face a couple of times.

Break his kneecaps.

I think you misunderstand Hitler in his role in history if you think that more abuse would

have helped him.

What if you go and say, hey, what's the deal with that little mustache you got there, fella?

Why don't you just shave that thing off?

Right?

Right.

What if we shave, I'm going to shave that thing off and punch you in the mouth.

All right.

So we're still back in time.

Real quick.

If you could, if you go back and you could safely interact with yourself in the past,

Jen, you just brought this up.

Would you interact with yourself?

Oh, hell yeah.

Hell yes.

Okay, Mike, you go first.

What would you say?

What would you do?

You can come back.

You get like, you know, you get like an hour to interact with yourself.

What do you do?

Where do you go?

What era?

What age?

You pick.

I mean, you can think of the, think of the things.

Is it, you feel like your biggest mistakes through your life and you might want to coach

yourself to do something different.

I can think of mistakes at any, any, any era, any age.

Coming onto this show.

Yeah.

That might be true.

Being nice to Bill.

That's definitely how I would coach myself against him.

Still not working well for you.

Doing that rap battle.

No, no, no.

That was good.

That rap battle.

You won that rap battle.

Absolutely.

Sorry, Bill.

And that, we're not talking about you either, Bill.

That's quite all right.

Mike had that Detroit sort of vibe with him.

He had a little Eminem in the mix there.

That and the beef.

All right, Bill, would you?

Yeah.

I mean, there's, you always wish that you could go back in time and tell it, give the

piece of it.

Cause who knows you better than you, right?

Like I raise my kids like they're me, but they're not me.

And so I make mistakes.

So I ended up telling them things that I would have wanted to hear, but they don't really

want to hear.

And you do your best and you make mistakes by doing that.

And you try to get into their head a little bit more, but it's very difficult.

But if I had actually me, like a young me that I could go back in time and give advice

to, I would hope that the young me would have sense enough to listen to me.

And, you know, you probably, I think I probably would, cause there'd be like this older version

of me and I'd be like, Hey, I still have some hair.

That's all right.

But the, um, but generally I think how invaluable, you know, just to actually give yourself not

necessarily winning a lot of numbers or specific advice on like who to date and who not to

date and who to avoid, but more like everything's going to be okay.

You know, you don't get stressed out.

Don't obsess.

Don't, it's going to work out for you.

It's going to, your younger self would never listen.

Never, never.

But I wish I could impart that knowledge to a very young, nervous, anxiety strung out,

you know, middle schooler and say, you know, look, it's going to be all right.

One day there'll be a league of legends and you'll have a chance to win a million dollars.

That's it.

And I hear next year, two giant robots are going to.

All right, Jen, you kind of already said it.

Well, I mean, it's hard because there's this part of me that sits there and says,

like I said before, I mean, I kind of like the, where my life is.

So if I, if I changed anything, I probably wouldn't be here.

But having said that, if I decided to make the decision to say, okay, I want to see what

else could have happened.

I might go back and yeah, there's definitely, I think I probably would have gone back to

myself probably late middle school, early, early high school.

And because I was really focused on a lot of stuff.

Been like, don't have that hairstyle.

Don't, don't wear those stirrup pants.

No, the stirrup pants were not that bad.

Stop listening to new kids on the block.

Wait, sorry, did you say stirrup pants?

I never.

Yes, I did wear stirrup pants.

I did not listen to new kids.

No, I mean, there.

Yeah.

I, there would be things that I would say, okay, keep the focus, but shift it to this

particular thing.

Like I always knew at the time that I was like, oh, I want to be in the movies.

I want to make movies, but I was very vague on what it was.

And so now having the knowledge that I have, I could be like, you know what, this is what

you're going to enjoy.

This is what you're really going to like having actually tried it and then see what would

have happened if I'd gone at it a decade or two earlier than I did, like having an extra

10 years to put effort into what I was doing.

Like, where would it have gone?

What would I have done with it?

For, for the reasons you just gave, like that you, you could potentially go back and alter

the course of your life just to see what would have happened if you would have made different

choices.

Like the previous question, I would not do it because though there have been things in

my life that I don't like, I would be too concerned that by changing, by trying to ward

myself off of the things that happened that I didn't like.

Okay.

That I would actually end up making things worse.

And for that reason alone, I would not do it.

I would not even go back.

I would not even want to see myself on the off chance I would change anything at all.

Party!

Yeah, right.

I'm disappearing from the photo.

All right.

So we got to move on.

Forward time travel, going into the future.

This is a little bit different one.

Would you risk doing it?

Where would you go?

And why would you go there?

It's a little bit more amorphous, right?

Because you don't know where you're going.

You might not know why, but there's always reasons to maybe go.

But how far would you go?

Do you have a target?

Would you even want to do it?

I think an important part of this question is whether you can come back.

This is even...

So, no, same, same.

Let's just go, yes, you can come back and we won't do the, you can go and never come

back because probably no one's going to agree to do that.

So...

Oh, I would.

I mean, I've got three kids.

Screw them.

I'm out.

How can I get away?

Sorry, kids.

Daddy's going away.

A very long way away.

This Taverncast is not meant for children.

Especially three individual children.

Bill's children.

All right, so do you have an answer for it?

If you could come back, you could go and come back, what would you do?

Oh, you got to go.

You got to go beyond your years, right?

You want to see where we end up, mankind.

I mean, technology is...

I don't know that I want to know that, actually.

Really?

I mean, I would be very interested to see what happens to, you know, the world powers.

When do we get into space?

Space?

Because, you know, that's...

Hopefully, that's inevitable.

You could get into space real quick if you happen to go too far and all of a sudden you're just in space.

Yeah, me in...

Right.

Where's the Earth?

Yeah, I wouldn't want to go like a thousand years into the future, right?

Because then it's like a completely different society.

It's not even...

It would be so ultra different than what it is now.

I think you'd only really need to go, say, for example, 200 years into the future and man would still be recognizable.

The language would still be recognizable.

And you would...

But you would know...

You would know where things go.

Like, where are we?

Did we survive?

Did we make it?

How far are we out?

Or did we wipe each other?

Or is everybody just gone?

I can see...

I can see that.

I can see, actually, even bringing that in a little tighter and saying like a hundred years into the future.

You know, you're talking maybe...

What's that?

Two generations?

A generation out.

And it'd be really interesting to see and bring back pictures of what the Earth looks like to show people and say,

dude, time stamped.

It's right there.

Look.

Look at the time on the camera.

And maybe we need to stop doing some of the things we're doing.

And maybe we can change it now.

Maybe we can affect, you know, because we know that information, we can actually change.

So are you saying...

Or I just get thrown in an insane asylum at that point.

I was going to say, are you seriously saying, though, that, like, your goal would almost be somewhat altruistic?

Like, you would want to go and see what happened and then come back and, like, almost be like a...

Like a...

Like an evangelist for change based on...

Based on what you'd seen?

Like, you'd be that guy?

I mean, yeah.

I've got a daughter.

I don't want her to...

That's interesting.

It'd be Nostromycus.

Yeah.

Yeah, right?

But, I mean, it would have to be, like, some planned thing where everybody would be like,

okay, yeah, you really did go.

And this is what he really did come back.

It can't be, like, in my basement.

Otherwise, there's guys like that right now, for all we know, they have gone into the future.

I ran into a couple of those guys on the street tonight.

All right.

Jen?

Well, kind of going back to what Mike was saying before, what's the lotto jackpot this next weekend?

Because I could just go to Saturday and come back.

That's the next question.

Yeah, I think everyone's going to answer it that way, but go ahead.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I would probably be interested in going forward.

I don't know that I would want to go too far, like Bill had said, because things might be completely unrecognizable.

You know, but then there's things like...

Back, back, back!

Right.

But what would happen to you?

Would you be able to actually make it back in that kind of scenario?

But I think...

I think if you went, like, you know, 100 years, maybe 200 years into the future, so you could kind of see where things were headed,

I think that would be interesting.

I think that it would be informative, and then, you know, I mean, maybe we'd go out there and find out.

Think of the jokes you could play on people, too.

You'd come back with, like, Photoshop pictures of, like, Skynet, and you're like, oh, my God!

But the thing is, so...

Mike goes into the future, and all I can think about is pranking people.

But, I mean, what happens if we go out there, and it's like, oh, hey, we figured this out.

Look, everything's actually fine.

What?

Okay.

So then the question would be...

We figured out this clean energy, or we, you know, and it happens 10 years from now, but I jumped 150 years too far.

Well, say you did that, and you jumped, and then you're able to bring back something, which then changed it,

so you're in this loop of, like, oh, it's actually got fixed because somebody went in the future and came back and fixed it.

I don't know how that works.

You know what would be cool?

If going in time...

I need a DeLorean!

The thing about going that far in the future, going, you know, 100 or 200 years...

in the future, is that you'd find the thing that we haven't imagined yet.

So much of the technology that we have nowadays seems like it's stuff that was imagined, like, in the 80s or the 70s or even the 60s,

but no one really imagined the Internet.

The Internet is sort of like an unusual...

Like, we've got...

Look at all kinds of pop culture throughout the years, and we've sort of...

It's almost like science has followed pop culture, and I think we talked about that on a prior show once.

This reminds me of...

There's this documentary I saw about these guys that have this radioactive waste dump in...

It was, like, Finland or some...

One of these Norwegian countries.

And the whole documentary was about not so much what they were...

You know, they were storing the nuclear waste and all that stuff,

but about how they were going to communicate that that was a nuclear waste dump to people who might come across it at the half-life point,

which could be, like, 10,000 years into the future.

How would they communicate that this place was bad...

And they were talking to all these experts about, like, the future could be so radically different from anything we can imagine.

There could be various catastrophes that could change things.

There could be positive changes that change things.

The languages would be completely different.

Just even based on, like, syntax and slang and things like that, you would have no idea what anybody's saying.

Even if there was a language.

Yeah, they were like, how do you communicate to people who need to know this is dangerous?

So they tried everything from, like, word pictograms to...

You know, like, different signs and whatever, and what would actually withstand the test of time.

And they decided on top of this thing...

They'd write a song.

No, no, no.

They built...

There's a snake in a can.

They built these monolithic carbon tube reinforced concrete, like, thorns.

Like a thorn forest.

Right?

That looks just threatening and creepy.

And with the idea that people from the future would associate that...

With danger.

That they would look at that as, like, it's maybe some mystical forest.

Like, if society, like, totally collapsed and we were back in, like, the Dark Ages.

Even simple people.

They didn't want to make some giant heads that all face towards the...

Did you know that those are not actually just heads?

Yeah.

Did you see that?

He's talking about the Moai on Easter Island.

How did they not figure that out?

They're full bodies.

What are they?

They're full bodies.

They have bodies.

It goes in the ground.

They buried the whole body.

No, they're buried.

They buried the whole body.

They have the whole bodies.

And there's writing on them that they've never seen before.

They're trying to figure out what the writing is.

How did they not realize this until now?

I mean, haven't people been studying those damn things?

Nobody's excavated.

I just saw a picture today of them, like, tipping one out where they had it almost all the way down to the feet.

It was, like, 100 feet tall.

And they've got all over the torso of this thing is some weird, like, paleolithic writing.

Oh, look.

We've got some heads sitting here.

What a phenomenon.

We can make it into a tourist attraction.

Don't anybody touch it.

Don't get close to it.

They're heads.

They're just heads sitting around.

What in the music?

We'll call it Easter Island.

You know what it says in the writing?

Don't go any further in the future.

So I think the future travel is interesting because it plays on sort of a human concept of we're all a little bit afraid of the unknown, right?

That's why going to the past is a little bit easier because, though, there's places you probably wouldn't go, the future is hard because you really don't know what you're going to expect.

So.

For my answer, though, I think, strangely enough, I think that as long as I could come back and I did the proper precautions, like, I wore some kind of crazy space suit with, like, lava armor and whatever.

Remember to be safe.

I don't know.

Some super suit.

Riding my Tyrannosaurus.

Yeah.

I would want to, like, go way forward.

Like, 10,000 years forward.

Really?

I don't know.

But that's what I'm curious about.

Yeah, but go back.

You'd be, like, all just ocean.

And you'd be like.

Oh, shit.

Well, yeah, but as long as you, like, turn around, really.

That's why you wear the suit.

Yeah, but humanity.

So that as you're sinking in the forever ocean, then you're like, okay, portal out, portal out.

But what would you learn 10,000 years?

Humanity would be unrecognizable, just like it was 10,000 years ago.

Can you go forward and be invisible?

Because then you could just observe everything.

Now you're just changing the rules.

Now you want to.

Oh, that's absurd.

Being invisible is just ridiculous.

It's just dumb.

Oh, way to ruin it, Jen.

Thanks.

You got to stop at 1,000 years to get the invisibility stuff.

And then you can jump another 9,000.

Okay.

All right.

So wait.

So we have to get close to wrapping this up because we're just over our hour time limit.

If you did go into the future, 10 years into the future, and you could only make one Google search.

It says two.

I know.

I'm changing it in lieu of time.

Got to roll with it.

If you could go.

Yeah, Jennifer.

Learn to cast.

If you went 10 years into the future, and you could make two.

Oh, my God.

Now I'm reading it.

If you went 10 years into the future, and you could make only one Google search before coming back, what would that search be?

10 years in the future, you can come right back.

You can make one search.

What do you search for?

I would do a search.

Is it possible?

And then the first thing would come up.

Is it possible to not have a Bush or a Clinton in the White House?

That would be one.

And the answer would be no.

No.

Choose one.

I would one Google search.

I would look up what is.

It's got to be phrased in a search, doesn't it?

That's kind of the thing here.

I mean, you can just type in winning lotto numbers 2016.

You could do that.

Definitely.

But I would do like, what's the business?

10 years from now, what is everybody, what are the startups that everybody's doing?

What's the technology?

What would be really interesting?

It would be really interesting to start 10 years earlier and be ahead of the curve.

I've thought about that.

I've thought about that with stuff like, what if you could go back to like 1965 with all the knowledge of like the Star Wars franchise?

With your iPhone?

Yeah.

And then like go make Star Wars.

But the question there is, it's one of those things again.

Could you do it right?

See, this is why lotto numbers are safer.

You just get the numbers you play, the numbers you win.

I think you would be sorely disappointed because I just looked up now what are the startups that everyone is doing.

And why?

No, I wouldn't do that as my search.

Oh, I see.

I'd have to figure out exactly what the search would be.

But, you know, essentially I'd want to know what's, you know, what's hot.

You know, what?

So, but you're only going 10 years.

Okay, so I just looked up what's hot.

The answer is hot.

Having a high degree of heat or high temperature.

I would actually look and see what in 10 years is a thriving business.

It's like a genie.

That started within that last 10 years.

And then come back.

All right, so what's your specific search?

Because Bill's going to run it right now.

Yeah, because Bill's just being a complete jerk.

It's like the genie.

You have to be, it's a Google search.

I Google for more Googles.

But you only get.

No, I'm telling you.

I'm telling you.

Google for more Googles.

Largest, largest winning lotto payout, 2016.

And it'll say 2012.

And you're fucked.

You're just being greedy.

Yeah, because you only get one question and then it's like you're immediately whizzed back.

You're like, 2012, no!

All right, do you guys think we're already being visited by time travelers?

Possible?

Are we already being visited by time travelers?

Well, how would we know?

That's probably the answer.

Yeah, all those, look it.

Everybody who wins on Wall Street.

Mike, look it, look it.

It's totally time travel.

It's like that.

Think about this.

Unless you're Martha Stewart.

Yes, we have been visited.

We've been visited by time travelers.

They're called billionaires.

Yes, exactly.

They've won the lotto.

Oh, God, that's a great story.

Think about that as a story.

The elite, like uber elite bankers and business people of the world are all time travelers.

And they're manipulating.

They did it in their basements.

Yeah, they're manipulating history.

They didn't touch anyone.

Either that or think about this.

Maybe they are space like tourists and this is like a big SIM thing.

They can be in charge and in control with all the money and they can figure it out.

So the whole, you know, online sometimes you see the thing.

I don't know if you've, I don't know if any of you have seen it.

I don't know if any of you have seen this, but on YouTube, it's like a big thing where

this is your home.

Yeah.

The president's the president and everybody else.

They're all reptilian aliens.

They're shaped shape shifters.

It's the stupidest.

Are you a moderator on that?

Yes.

No, I am.

I am.

But the, uh, the, so no, it is the reptilian guys.

They're the space tourists and they're coming to a planet that no one cares about to play

it like a Sims game.

Exactly.

That's beautiful.

Mike, I'm going to write that book.

Well done.

That's a good book.

So that's been TC 62.

We have officially determined that time.

Travel.

I thought Mike was going to wrap up and he's gonna in a second.

That's in the future.

We're going to go back in the past and have him redo it.

Right.

Mike is in the future.

I'm in the present.

Jen will go back to the past, retrieve Mike and he will come onto the show without knowing

we've already done most of the clothes and then do it his way.

So that's been, that's been TC 62.

We've covered the time travel is official and that it's the reptilians that are coming

here using time travel to control the human race and to play it like a live Sims game

because that seems most plausible.

So that's essentially what I'm doing.

I'm just controlling the show.

Why are you here?

You're not here.

I thought I was here now.

You were in the future.

He is here.

There's a paradox.

Mike is already here.

Go get Mike.

There'll be two Mikes.

If you like the show, please review us on iTunes, like us on Facebook, follow us on

Twitter and subscribe to us on YouTube and of course share the show with your nearest

and dearest or share the really bad ones with your worst.

Oh.

Don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Good night everybody.

Thanks.

Good night everybody.

Thank you.

Bye.

glasses tonight. Wow, lighting up

like a Christmas tree. Boy, you guys are really trying to piss

off Mike. Yeah, yeah.

Alright, remember, if you like the show,

please review us on iTunes, like us on

Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and subscribe to us on

YouTube. And of course, share with

the show your nearest and dearest,

or share... Boy, none of this

sounds like you're reading it. Huh?

None of it sounds like you're reading it. Huh? Let me try it

again. Eh, here, let me try it. It's weird

that there's a different verb for each

website. Review...

So iTunes has reviews, Facebook has

likes, Twitter has followers,

and YouTube has subscribers.

God, you guys are all

such amateurs. If you could go

back in time and not do this show,

would you?