Imagine What I Could Do To You

This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets.

English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job,

while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

FX's English Teacher is now streaming on Hulu.

All new Mondays on FX.

What We Do in the Shadows

I'm a sadist in sequence, evil as sin.

A turn-on for me is a scream or a howl.

Handing out punishment, I know every foul.

Don't take me lightly, things could be hard.

I used to give lessons to the Marquis de Sade.

My performance really started before I ever stepped outside the dressing room.

I'd look in the mirror, I'd begin to make up on.

The thing is...

Your clothes. I think your clothes are very, very important.

Especially to me, because I was known for my gowns and the make-up and all that kind of stuff.

It was like Clark Kent going into the phone box, meek journalist or whatever he was,

and he'd sort of come out like Superman.

When it was time for me to go in, they'd play my music.

I can break a door down with one hand behind my back.

I can crush a grizzly till its bones begin to crack.

I...

Then I'd step.

About, strike a pose.

I'd stand there and in my own mind, it's like,

OK, I'm a god, I've just descended from Mount Olympus.

Now you suckers can sort of worship me and all that sort of stuff.

So imagine what I could do to you.

Mmm.

I'd give like an angry sort of frown and go like,

What? You peasants.

This is like throwing pearl before the swine.

So imagine what I could do to you.

Mmm.

Whether they boo their lungs out or whether they cheer their lungs out for me.

Makes no difference.

They're going to know I'm there and I'm going to give them the best that I can possibly deliver.

So imagine what I could do to you.

Mmm.

Nice.

You're listening to Love and Radio.

I'm Nick Vander Kolk.

Today's episode, Imagine What I Could Do to You, featuring the exotic Adrian Street.

Can you describe some of your favorite outfits?

I'd always admired like big gowns and things like that on taller guys.

And I thought, well, I'm too short to wear like a full length.

But I thought, well, I'm going to try with that.

And I looked at it, I thought, damn, I like that.

It was purple.

The design in front was lilac, gold, white lace, and lots of crystal rhinestones all over it.

I've still got it.

And it still fits.

Do you design all of your own costumes?

I design everything.

From the age of three, I was actually designing costumes.

During the war, we all had our ration books over here.

You could only get like a couple of ounces of this, a quarter of that, and very small amounts.

I mean, meat, you couldn't get meat.

And I loved meat, but I never got it when I was a kid.

I sure make up for it now.

Anyway, I had my own little ration book.

And I felt important because that was my ration book and it had my name on it.

I'd go down to the bottom of the street to the one and only candy store, remember, back in those days.

Now, I wasn't looking for the chocolates, which I suppose were very nice.

They were actually wrapped in the best metallic foil.

That's the reason I wanted them.

I used to model little figures out of plasticine.

Through trial and error, I knew exactly where I needed to tear this and tear that to cover an arm, to cover a leg, to cover the body.

And I would turn my little plasticine figures into knights in shining armor.

So imagine what I could do to you.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, up here on Sounds, as you heard,

imagine what I could do to you, written and sung by the exotic one, Adrian Street.

And he starts quickly on Henry Garcia.

Do you remember the first time you went to see a wrestling match?

I certainly do.

I was in a place called Newport.

In those days, they wrestled.

Not like Vince McMahon's mob now where he's replaced good wrestlers for bad actors.

These guys were wrestlers.

The main event was a guy called Vic Hessel, wrestling against Bert Azzarotti.

He was a beast.

This guy was tough, and this guy wanted to hurt the other guy.

I mean, he wanted to hurt him.

But I wanted something more colorful, more flamboyant, more sort of showy.

Imagine a king and I.

This girl hurt your vanity.

That is all.

She didn't hurt your heart.

As that movie, with Yul Brynner and all the nice, beautiful costumes that they had in the Siamese court

and all that kind of stuff back in that time.

Imagine putting that show on, but instead of giving them those lovely costumes,

the Yul Brynner character, like the King of Siam,

was there with a pair of scruffy old jeans and a dirty T-shirt or something.

You know, what would you think about that?

For me, it's the same thing.

They'd walk in the ring wearing sort of dressing gowns and things like that.

They'd just sit like old men sort of sitting by the fire with a pipe, you know?

Big woolly trunks.

Colors came in black or brown.

I guess they were sort of functional, especially, you know, it can get cold in Britain.

It really put a dampener on my spirits, you know?

I mean, the wrestling was there, like I say.

You couldn't fault the wrestling.

I mean, damn, they were good.

But I wanted more.

I used to work out in the daytime in the YMCA in the middle of London.

There was like a balcony that they had the weights on.

I'd be lifting weights and looking down all the time

until I saw a number of wrestlers down there.

Then I'd go down and I would wrestle with those guys

as long as there was somebody there to wrestle with.

I found professional wrestlers had their own version of Cockney slang.

They could have a conversation

and you wouldn't understand.

You wouldn't understand one word that they were saying.

Wrestlers would say to me, like,

what was all that ruckus about, like, you know, coming out of the ring?

Oh, I was coming out of the ring.

A raspberry came up, hit me on the rose with his screaming.

I got mad, hit him in the north.

Now he hasn't got a genital on his ankle.

You wouldn't understand what I was talking about,

but another wrestler wouldn't know what I meant.

Coming from a ring and a raspberry ripple, a cripple came up to me,

hit me on the rose, my rosemary, my knee, with his screaming,

and he's screaming all it's such is crutch.

I hit him in the north, his north and south, his mouth.

Now he hasn't got a general, a general boot, a tooth,

in his ankle, his ankle and head, his head.

Coming from a ring and a cripple came up to me,

hit me on the knee, I hit him in his mouth.

Now he hasn't got a tooth in his head.

If somebody came into the dressing room and they didn't know who it was,

they'd say, Queens, and that was like, Queens Park,

Queens Park Ranger, a stranger.

And that's the first thing I heard whenever I walked into a dressing room.

People said, Queens, Queens, Queens.

And I said, I'm not Queens Park, mate.

I know what it's all about.

But nobody liked me at all, actually, when I had my first wrestling match.

Most of all, my opponent.

And then...

I was the main event, mind you,

with a guy called Gentleman.

Gentleman, Jonathan Moran.

First time I ever wrestled.

I couldn't feel my feet touching the ground when I was walking to the ring.

I mean, this is it.

This is something I dreamt of since I was a kid of 11.

And all of a sudden, here I am doing it.

Is it real? Is it real? Is it real?

I go into the ring.

The bell rang.

I run across the ring.

The guy was wrestling.

We started rolling all around the ring.

Head over heels, head over heels.

So I got back in the corner until he stood up.

I grabbed him, put an arm lock on him, threw my feet up in the air,

drove his face into the canvas.

And he screamed, you bastard.

I dislocated his shoulder.

That was the end of the contest.

When I got back to dressing room, I walked back all triumphant.

He was their top guy that I'd just beaten in less than two minutes.

When am I going to get some competition?

When am I going to get a chance at a championship?

Everybody in the dressing room was glaring at me like I had leprosy or something,

and it was contagious.

The guy's wife come running in the dressing room.

You bastard.

And nobody calls a Welshman a bastard, you know, because you take it literally.

I remember saying, if you were a man, I'd punch your face off.

Don't you?

Don't you dare call me a bastard.

The promoter came over.

He said, kid, kid, kid.

He said, you can't do that.

He said, you can't expect the people to pay good money for, he said,

a bleeding men event that only lasts two minutes.

He said, I know I promised you two pound ten shillings.

Think yourself lucky I'd give you anything at all.

So at least I got paid so I could call myself a professional wrestler.

I've had my nose broken more times than I can remember.

I've had all my ribs cracked and broke, cuts and bruises and split lips.

I was wrestling up in Scotland and I had my Achilles tendon torn in half.

Ripped right in half.

My foot was just flopping about.

I was wrestling with a guy that jumped off a corner post.

The guy weighed about 235, 240 pounds, missed my chest, hit my leg,

and the bottom of my kneecap ended up halfway up my thigh.

Oh, dear, I said as I fell down.

Oh, something like that.

My dad works in B2B marketing.

He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man.

Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing me to this day.

Not everyone gets B2B.

But with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do.

Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign.

Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit.

That's linkedin.com slash results.

Terms and conditions apply.

LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

I still remember my number.

The number in my locker, actually, is 226.

I'd put my helmet on.

Then I'd walk to the lamp room.

I was 15 years of age when I first worked in a coal mine.

My father was only 14, and his father was 13.

All the roof was cracked, and it was dripping ice-cold water all the time.

By the time I actually got to the bit where I was digging,

I'd be crawling through inches of ice.

I'd be crawling through inches of ice-cold water all the time.

I'd be crawling through inches of ice-cold water with water dripping on top of me

the whole time, like it was pissing with rain.

I would be absolutely soaking wet before I even started digging anything.

And in that particular place was the hardest coal I've ever met in my life.

I tell you, I used to be so miserable.

I used to feel like I could have just about laid down and died in the water

because it was such a horrible day.

I was doing that six days a week.

Out of the money that I earned,

I'd have to give it all to my mother.

I'd have to give it all to my mother

and just keep a few shillings for myself, pocket money,

and that was my life.

My father was supposed to be a nurturer,

who was supposed to love me.

That is what he wanted for me.

The thing is, I don't need to be in the dark.

I was made to be seen.

It's too dark down there.

You know what I mean? I need a spotlight.

I was a very good wrestler by this time,

for I was a good wrestler in the land of great wrestlers.

I needed to do something to stand out.

I got myself a jacket, puffy sleeves.

It was made of sky blue velvet.

I had trunks made in the same color to match.

I shot into a store, got myself some bleach and bleached my hair blonde.

A waist measure.

I was 27 at the time and my chest was 48.

I mean, I looked really good.

I had a great suntan.

Now I had the blonde hair and I thought I looked fantastic.

I imagine that when I walk from a dressing room,

fans that have got to know me will be going,

oh, wow, look at Adrian Strait.

What a great looking little athlete.

Like, oh, doesn't he look great?

They'd appreciate what I was doing.

When I walked out there, instead of getting the response

that I imagined I was going to get,

it was like, woo, Mary, aren't you cute?

Woo, give us a kiss.

When I stepped in the ring,

my opponent, who sort of witnessed all this,

wanted to get in on the act,

and he turned around and sort of blew me a kiss

and gave me like a limp wrist sort of wave

and pouted his lips and everything like that.

Then he turned around in the corner waiting for the bell.

But the second the bell rang,

I was across the ring

and touched him right up the backside.

He jumped about four foot, spun around all indignant.

I grabbed hold of him by his face and kissed him on the lips.

And the crowd went berserk.

I thought, bugger you.

Like, if that's what you want, that's what you're going to get.

When a match was over, which I won,

I walked out of the ring and, oh, my God, like, this is bloody...

You know, I didn't expect that kind of response.

I didn't expect that kind of response at all.

Like, I made a big grand entrance,

tripped over a banana skin,

fell face first in a sherry trifle or something,

you know what I mean?

I come up with cream all over my chops.

Then all of a sudden, it struck me.

That was not the response I was looking for.

But it was more response than anybody else got that night.

And I thought to myself, bugger it.

As time went on, I just kept pushing the envelope,

pushing the envelope,

until you ended up getting the Clodagh Adrian Street.

I put a little bit of make-up on my eyes.

First of all, just a little bit,

so when I walked past the people to the ring,

I'd hear them say, was he wearing make-up?

No.

It was silly.

I'm sure he was.

Then I'd wear a little bit more, a little bit more,

a little bit more of this.

There he is with a full make-up,

and I mean a full make-up here tonight.

My costumes went from powder blue and silver

to pink and purple and mauve and that sort of thing.

He really has laid it on.

A gold lamé.

He's got tights, he's got multi-coloured boots,

a usual blonde wig, and of course,

much more make-up on his face than ever before.

One of my favourites was to actually draw a butterfly on my face.

I dare my opponents to come and swat it.

I've always been somebody that enjoyed a fight.

How can I say, I was never a bully.

I was more of a bully-bully.

Whenever I went to school, if there was a bully there

that sort of beat up all the kids and everything like that,

I would purposely put myself in the face of some guy who was a bully,

have him challenge me and everything like that,

and now I beat the living shit out of him.

When I was first working in the coal mine,

there was a big gypsy.

I mean, they were like Irish pikers.

It might be wrong and what have you,

to call them gyppos, but that's what we used to call them in those days.

I mean, I've never been a racist or anything like that,

but it'd be like calling a black person the N-word,

was to call the gypsies a gyppo.

But anyway, these pikers, I mean, they could fight.

And there was a big one, we used to call him Jack the Gyppo,

and he was a bully.

When I met him first,

was when I was doing my training in Oakdale,

and he was on my case all the time.

I was kind of into bodybuilding,

and you could obviously see I was kind of built for my age.

And he used to call me,

Hey, Tarzan, like, what are you doing?

Hey, Tarzan.

And he'd get in my face all the time.

Do you ever remember Frankie Lane's song,

Sixteen Tons?

I don't think I know that one.

Sixteen Tons and what?

motherfucking shits.

It did sound different.

It was the typical song.

Practically, it sounds like we were acting,

creating,

and one minute what's going on in my soul is

the whole song becomes Rosary.

いる.

Another day older and deeper in debt.

Oh, don't you call me cause I can't go.

I owe my soul to the company's stall.

We imagined that he'd sung that song just for us.

On the day I decided to have a go at Jack the Gypo,

I revved myself up with that.

We used to have to catch a train from Oakdale

to the town I lived in, Brumau, and he would be on it.

Anyway, on this particular day, when I got on the station,

I saw him with one of his mates, and I went right up there

and purposely got in the same compartment as him.

I'm singing that song to myself, and I got it a bit...

One fist of iron and the other of steel

If the right one don't get you, then the left one will.

I said to him, why have you got such a big sloppy mouse?

I said, your mother used to stick you on the window

or something like that when she went shopping.

All of a sudden, instead of being right in my face,

she started backing off.

And I started playing.

I started pulling buttons off the upholstery

and flipping them in the nose.

Anyway, I'm looking over at his friend.

I said, hey, listen, you know what's going to happen to you, don't you?

I said, you interfere, and you're going to be very sorry.

As I'm talking to him, he said, you better look out.

And Jack the Gypo jumped off his seat and threw a punch.

Hit me in the chops.

Jack was a big guy.

I mean, a hell of a lot bigger than me.

He was really taller, heavier, an ugly, tough-looking thing.

And I found that a lot of big guys, when you actually tried them out,

couldn't actually fight to save their lives.

They've never had to exert themselves or push themselves

like a little guy like I did.

I tore him inside out and upside down.

I must stress, I don't have a little man complex.

But the amount of times I've been in a room,

and somebody's walked in with a big broken nose,

cauliflower ears, scars on their face,

and they've gone, oh, God, don't look over there.

I wouldn't want to tangle with that guy.

I said, I would.

He's got marks all over him that proves he can be beaten.

The fight ended when he was laying on the floor,

bleeding all over the place.

And then the next stop we came to,

he jumped out of the train, and that was that.

I had a reputation for being somebody that hurt people.

He fires away at him.

Adrian was kicking him in the head.

Fifth inning, British Bulldog is what Adrian Street calls

this submission home, the British Bulldog.

I've got so many ways to hurt you,

you'd have to invent new ways to scream.

I think I was in Texas or somewhere like that,

and there was a commentator.

There was a commentator there as I was walking into the ring.

Wow, here comes Adrian Street.

Oh, oh, just look at him.

What a strange character.

When he walks into the ring,

damn me, he looks like a French poodle.

But damn me, when he gets in the ring and that bell goes,

ah, he's no French poodle.

That French poodle turns into an American pit bull.

A good wrestling machine, this exotic Adrian Street,

a very good wrestler.

Everybody, including my opponents, would underestimate me.

The most unusual wrestler you've ever seen in your life.

I'd be missing around the ring, I'd be blowing kisses.

Don't let all of his affectations fool you a bit.

I'd carry the act on until the last minute.

He is a very, very dangerous man in the ring.

Then all of a sudden, I did turn into an American pit bull.

Is wrestling fake?

Put it this way,

I could get all of your fingers,

I could get all of your wrists,

I could get all of your arm,

and I could yawn while I was breaking him.

Now, how exciting would that look to a crowd?

Now, to make it exciting for the crowd,

you sort of grunt and make the face to look more vicious

and more sort of spiteful,

even though you're not using your full strength.

And not only that, I don't want to rip your arm.

I don't want to rip your arm out by its socket, which I could.

You're in the ring, you know, for the same reason that I am.

You're trying to earn a living,

and you're not going to be wrestling tomorrow night

if I rip your shoulder out.

Look at it this way.

This is something I've told my students, too.

You go in the ring, and you wrestle the other guy.

You might be capable of making the other guy look like crap.

But don't forget, it's the promoter has the last word

as to who wins and who doesn't.

What is wrestling?

Wrestling, in my time,

was not fake.

Fixed, yes, but not fake.

Now, any sport,

any sport you care to mention,

if there's money, if there's an angle,

if there's a way of making more money

for whoever's presenting the thing,

it's fixed.

Horse racing, football, rugby, you name it, it's done.

Wrestling was often fixed

because if they had somebody that had a lot of money

and that they imported from another country,

the only way they're going to

make their money back

is if this guy is going to be a big draw.

The only way he can be a big draw is a winner.

They put him on with me,

like joint promotions did sometimes.

You've got, like, some American,

he's got a bit of a name and everything like that.

He comes over, they've paid a lot of money.

They put him on with me.

Oh, Adrian, you know, we've got money invested in this guy,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

He wins.

Not in my bloody backyard, you don't, mate.

You know, okay, I'm paid,

I'm paid to sort of do what they tell me.

So in the end, okay, the guy might win,

but I tell you what,

he's going to have a damn rough time while he gets there.

I'm going to kick him inside out

because if the promoters are watching,

they're going to go, oh, damn, like, you know,

we're going to go on with Adrian a couple of times next week.

Look what Adrian's doing to him.

We can't possibly let him win

when he wrestles with Adrian again

because it just wouldn't look right.

He's actually losing the match

even if he gets the results.

He's going to lose the world at the end.

Now, the thing is,

do you think my opponent doesn't know that?

And the only way he's going to keep earning big money

is to beat the crap out of me.

So the thing is, it becomes real.

It becomes as real as it can possibly be.

Can you tell me more about the transition into a good guy?

How did that come about?

There was a news broadcaster.

His name was Ron Goldnick.

All of a sudden, he was trying to get in touch with me.

There was a young girl named Lisa Rush.

She had cystic fibrosis.

She had requested to meet her favorite wrestler

and his valet, Miss Linda.

They thought that...

She only had about 48 hours to live.

And, like, almost like the 11th hour,

Linda and I attended the hospital.

You're the first one to get one of these.

The very first one.

I took T-shirts, like exotic Adrian T-shirts.

That's specially for you.

That will never take it off.

No?

And I give this little girl a hug.

And she was like a 13, 14-year-old girl,

something like that.

And honestly, she was like a little bag of bones.

I mean...

You'd have thought she was only half her age.

And I said to her,

Listen, Lisa, you wanted to meet us.

I said, we wanted to meet you.

I said, but now there's only one thing

that you've got to promise me to do.

I said, you've got to get better.

When you're feeling really tough and strong,

you've got to cover the ring with Miss Linda and me.

The thing is, Linda is my valet,

but Linda needs a valet.

I said, you're the one I've picked.

So you've got to get better.

And you're going to be...

You're going to be our valet.

Okay?

In the ring, Adrian Street is a bad man.

But last night, he warmed the heart of a 13-year-old girl.

He was a class act.

From South Alabama Med Center, I'm Ron Golnick.

She started getting better.

They took her off some of her medication.

They even started wheeling her outside

around the hospital grounds.

They let her go home.

Eventually, she took up ballet,

and she was actually a little ballet dancer for a while.

Exotic Adrian usually blows kisses to everybody.

When he steps into the ring,

he planted one on her cheek right there,

and she lit up.

If I saw Adrian, I'd kiss him myself,

but he might misunderstand.

He might. That's nice.

A good guy, bad guy.

That little girl ruined the villainous image

that I had in that territory at the time.

You know, the funny thing is,

when I was a bad guy, when I was a villain,

people didn't like that I was using that sort of style,

that sort of gimmick to upset my opponent.

Touch him up the backside or grab him and give him a kiss.

They were upset by that

because I was doing it to their hero and diminishing him.

When, finally, I turned into a good guy,

I did exactly the same things to the bad guys

that I did to the good guys, and they loved me doing it.

I mean, the crowd go,

go on, kiss him, Adrian, kiss him, Adrian.

Go on, Adrian, sort of do this.

Go on, Adrian, do that.

I never, ever, never,

never, ever said I was gay.

I was interviewed lots of times,

and they came right to the point and said,

are you gay or what?

I go, oh, really?

Really?

When anybody tries to infer in any way, shape, or form

that I am effeminate,

it makes me want to scream.

Well, hello.

It's wonderful, absolutely wonderful to be here.

I'm being absolutely overreacted.

I'm overwhelmed with fan mail from females and things like that

asking me out for luncheon dates,

asking me out for dinner dates.

I'm very sorry, girls.

I haven't got the time,

and I absolutely lack the incentive.

I wouldn't say, oh, yes, I'm gay or anything like that,

which would have got reaction,

which would have got attention,

which would have got a hit.

But the trouble is, you come out with something like that,

and next thing is they can put you in a box,

they've got you labelled, that's it.

I wouldn't stay in a box.

The box isn't for me.

Can you really imagine me in my favourite restaurant

sharing a Chateaubriand with some redneck female

who would be far better off sitting in the back of a pickup truck

gorging herself with greasy hamburgers off paper plates?

Not for me, thank you very much.

No way.

All right, that's the lifestyle.

What about the competition?

What about the...

Did you view the character as making fun of gay people

or making fun of people from a fun point of view?

Or how did you view how the character sort of fit in?

Do you know, I've been asked that question before.

There was a gay person that did a documentary a number of years ago,

and he said the not flamboyant gay people were offended by what I did,

that they didn't like the idea of me, how can I say,

like giving gay people or something like that a bad name by doing it.

And I said, you shouldn't be offended by that,

I'm sort of actually mimicking flamboyant gay people.

You know, if you come to that, I mean,

flamboyant gay people are actually imitating women.

So what's the difference?

I've got to ask you a question, actually.

Yeah.

You're asking me a lot about sort of gay stuff.

Are you gay?

I'm not, no.

No.

But I think that's something that I do find really, really fascinating.

I think that's...

You're this very, like, super macho guy,

but then you also played this, like, effeminate character,

and I think the two, I find very, very interesting.

I find it interesting, too, and the thing is,

I regard anything, believe what you want to believe,

do whatever you want to do,

just don't interfere with anybody else or harm anybody else while you're doing it.

That includes preaching about it, whether it's religion or whether it's like,

oh, you should try...

Try it, dear.

You know what I mean?

Don't knock it unless you've tried it, which I've heard a million times.

My response to that, actually, if they sort of get, like, a little bit insistent, is,

I've never eaten dog shit, but I'm bloody sure I wouldn't like it.

Are you there?

I am, yeah.

I was just thinking that one through.

I was going to say, people are what they are, and, you know, I mean,

be yourself.

Wherever it is, you know, as long as you don't harm anybody else.

I hope I'm not being sort of politically incorrect or anything like that,

but I don't know, but I would imagine most gay people can't help or don't want to help

being what they are, and I think people ought to be what they are.

I don't know.

life as a professional wrestler, something I dreamed and craved to do and wanted to be

great at. One thing that haunted me all through my career is I know that one day I'm going

to be standing in the ring and this is going to be my last time. This is going to be the

last time I actually perform. And the thought that I knew one day I'd have to live that

moment was almost like contemplating death.

The last show that I did was in Graysville, June the 14th, 2014, about three and a half

years ago. Final match I wrestled a guy called Ian Flex. He was less than half my age and

I would say, give or take, about twice my weight. I beat him, kept the title, and I

wrestled him again. I wrestled him again. I wrestled him again. I wrestled him again.

I wrestled him again. I wrestled him again. I wrestled him again. I wrestled him again.

I retired undefeated as the NWA heavyweight champion. I had 57 years as a professional

wrestler. I've engaged in 15,000 professional contests, most of which I've won. I've been

a world champion. I've held four world titles in three different weight divisions. I don't

know anybody who's ever done that. And I'm very proud of my legacy.

I can be a tulip. I can be a man. The only way of knowing is to catch me if you can. You

can suppose what you want to suppose, but I'm just a sweet transvestite with a broken

nose. I've got to be royalty. My blood must be blue. I'm king of the ring and I'm queen

of it too. Have you ever seen muscles on a rose? I'm just a sweet transvestite with a

broken nose. I'll kiss you or I'll kick you. That's what I like the best. I'm as tough

as Marciano and as sexy as Mae West, as cute as Shirley Temple, and as fast as Bruce Lee.

I could kill a man eventually.

I could be a tulip. I could be a man. The only way of knowing is to catch me if you

can. You can suppose what you want to suppose, but I'm just a sweet transvestite with a broken

nose.

That's it for Love and Radio. I'm sorry to report that Adrian Street died last week

in Wales at the age of 82. This episode was produced by Stephen Jackson and was originally

broadcast in 2018. Special thanks also to Jeremy Deller. Music on this episode featured

tracks from Ensemble and Tendu, Time Warp, E. Rushka V, Voorhees, Lucretia Dalt, and

more.

For a full playlist, click here.

For a full playlist, please visit our website, loveandradio.org. I also have links there

to Adrian's autobiography, All Seven Volumes.

Love and Radio is a labor of love and radio and made possible thanks to our subscribers.

With extra special thanks to

Ali Mothra-Perry, Casey Pamela Anderson, Chakrit, Fodaydon Sudachan, Bam Bam Dan Palmino,

Jacqueline Potato Leak, Jason V for Vendetta, Joe Palm Harry, Mark Dunks' son, Nick Grills,

Sam Huffman,

Andrew Newk actually has to read this Schroeder, and Chris, who's too fancy to tell me how

to pronounce his last name.

If you want to join the group of wonderful human beings who make love and radio happen,

you can help keep the show going by becoming a member yourself at loveandradio.org slash

member. Or if you listen in Apple Podcasts, just subscribe right in the app for ad-free

episodes and access to the entire back catalog. I'm Nicholas Sardine-Ponchoponch-Vanderkolk.

Thanks for listening, Ricky.

Transvestite with a...

Did I mention that DJ Jimmy Savalit was over here? Jimmy Savalit had like a big name. He

was like a big DJ and all the rest of it. I mean, he was a tough guy, I suppose, from

an extent, because he used to do all kinds of things. He did like the basic training

with the Royal Marines, and he'd do all kinds of stuff like that to put himself over as

a tough guy. But it's all like publicity stunts more than anything else. I knew that he wanted

to be a professional wrestler or engage in professional wrestling for the same thing.

One of the best things I've done in my life is to be a professional wrestler. I've been

a big promoter, so we wrestled for... Oh, like, you know, that'll be great if we put

him on the card and everything like that. Anyway, now, because he was a big name, a

big celebrity and everything like that, he puts him on to wrestle with me in the meantime.

Our main event was this Jimmy Saval. I couldn't believe that they'd actually put me on with

him. I thought, this is a joke, surely. Ted Beresford came into my dressing room, and

he brought Jimmy Saval with him. He said, I want to introduce you to Jimmy Saval. You'll

be wrestling with him tonight.

I said, yeah, hello. He said, Adrian, I'd like you to do a draw. You get a fall, and

then Jimmy Saval gets the last fall. I said, piss off. I said, he's getting nothing. Oh,

now, don't be like that, Adrian. Like, you know, don't underestimate him. He's done this,

he's done that, he's done something else. I said, let's see if he can wrestle. I ripped

him inside out. I tore all the hair out of his head. He looked like an Indian had scalped

him. There was blood everywhere.

I kicked him, I punched him. For one thing, I was embarrassed going in the ring with the

bloody guy. And another thing is, I was embarrassed that he was even in the business. So I wanted

him out of it, and I put him out of it. He never, ever wrestled again. I pounded the

living crap out of him. But you know, the funny thing is, the newspapers were full of

it a little while later. Jim will fix it for the kids and everything like that. He was

molesting the hell out of him.

I didn't know at the time. We knew that he liked young girls because he used to boast

about it, but we didn't know how young. Everybody hated me for smashing him to pieces and everything

like that. Back in the day, everybody congratulates me nowadays that you should have killed him.

What if you could have a career where the opportunities are as vast as our nation, where

it's not about mission statements, but a shared mission? At U.S. Customs and Border Protection,

we go beyond to protect more than border security.

From ship to shore, air to ground, cities to local communities, CBP agents and officers

are keeping people safe. Join U.S. Customs and Border Protection and go beyond for something

far greater than yourself. Learn more at CBP.gov slash careers.