MikeyPod 355 | Pianist Sophia Subbayya Vastek

Hello and welcome to MikeyPod podcast episode 355 for January 2nd, 2023. And

Happy New Year. On this episode pianist Sofia Sabaya-Vostek joins me to talk

about her gorgeous and fascinating new album Inner Softening which was written

on and for a piano that she discovered in a church building basement that had

been sharing space with a well-documented hate group. There's a lot

to talk about with this instrument. This is just the intro to the show. I can't

get too much into it. The music though is intricate, delicate and it's really

intriguing and hearing her talk about the creation of this album, the

discovery of the piano, all of these things are outstanding. This is a great

conversation. By the way I'm your host Michael Herron. I'm a composer, pianist,

electronic musician and storyteller based in New York City. On this podcast I

have conversations with fellow creators who use their creativity

to change the world. I've been sending this podcast to your ears for well over

17 years. If you like what you hear subscribe using the colorful buttons in

the sidebar and footer at MikeyPod.com or you can just search MikeyPod in your

favorite podcast directory. If you'd like to know more about me you can stop by my

website at MichaelHerron.com. Hit me up on social media everywhere-ish. I'm on

and off social media lately at MichaelHerron.com and you can always send

me an email at MikeyPod at gmail.com. So hello.

Happy New Year. It's been a little while since podcast the holidays etc etc. I am

curious what's going on? What's going on with you this year? I've been really

thinking about I have a very casual relationship with New Year's resolutions

but I do like some things were sort of like getting in process for me already

before the new year so I'm feeling happy. A lot of it has to do with like the

structure of running a business. I'm feeling happy. I'm feeling happy. I'm

feeling the business of my life and the business of my business and the

business of this podcast and the other kind of creative work that I do. I am

focusing this year on a single word that was this idea was shared with me at a

party the other night. Now I forgot what my word is. What's the word for like

let's call it abundance. That's not the word I chose but actually I like it

better. Maybe that's why that happened. Yeah I'm focusing on abundance and

feeling abundant and

I don't know like just to put it in a short way a lot of my life I've spent

you know as an artist as a waiter as a teacher finances for me have always been

sporadic and something you can't always count on being consistent and being an

artist and growing up in a society and in a world where that's sort of

considered not a good hobby. I haven't really taken

my life as something that could be abundant or never thought of it that way

and just over the past year or so I've been really shifting in that way. So a

lot of like behind the scenes structuring and that sort of thing has

been happening and I really pushed the last week before the end of the year

because it felt like okay January 1st all this stuff it's time to like keep

getting this stuff in action or really embrace it. So I don't know whether

that's even something you care to hear but that's where I'm at with the

new year and I really would love to know what the new year is looking like

for you. You can always comment on this podcast or on my social media or email

me mikeypod at gmail.com. I really I really want to hear from you. So if

you're listening to this podcast you have even the shortest comment to make

let me know. I'm really excited to hear from you. Another thing that's going on

in podcast land is that I am going to work on doing some bonus material that

will come through the Apple podcast.

I'm going to be setting that up this week. I'm not sure what that's ultimately

going to look like and if I want to stick to it, but it's going to be fun to

sort of experiment and see what that's like and that's really it. That's my

middle of the show check-in for you before we get on to the interview and

some music from Sophia Savaya Vostek. I do want to make sure that I thank my

subscribers on patreon for powering this podcast and all the other creative work

that I do. These are people who subscribe for $5 or more a month and get special

perks.

Like tons of free downloads of my music and zines and bonus podcast as I mentioned earlier,

there are 90 over 90 of them that you'll have immediate access to when you subscribe

including this week's bonus episode, which will feature an extended conversation with today's

guest Sophia Savaya Vostek. So I mentioned in the beginning of the show a little bit

about this album and I did it in a really clumsy way and you'll I was feeling very

clumsy about describing this album. You'll hear the music. I'm about to play with my

track for you and the conversation we have about it. The piano itself is so

imperfect sounding and the thing that I really love is that the music is and the

imperfections of the album became part of each sorry the imperfections of the

piano became a compositional part of the of the music that yeah I'm gonna leave it

at that there's so much great stuff in this conversation.

But before we listen to it, here's a track from the album. This is called the seas that

made us and following this we'll hear an interview with Sophia Savaya Vostek.

You're listening to the seas that made us and following this we'll hear an interview with Sophia Savaya Vostek.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

there's i i love this kind of conversation like oh yeah i want to talk about that video oh but

wait i want to talk about that other bit the um official music video not the live performance

it was really interesting the way it was filmed and i didn't catch it the first time strangely

because now that i watch i'm like oh obviously this is uh it it appears to be in slow motion

yeah what this is just like how'd you do that like because you're you're playing with the

recording like the it's the the studio recording of the piece um you know what i'm talking about

better than i can explain it so how what did what was entailed or was entailed in creating that

video um yeah so basically yeah we shot it in slow motion which meant that we had to make a track

that was sped up to the right you know ratio of time for the slowing down um and yeah i i had to

practice playing it fast

oh yeah you know and so like obviously um if you're if you're really paying attention

you know you can see it's not really lining up and that's okay um but we wanted this this kind

of gauzy dreamlike sense and that there's this piano and this pianist playing outside

um and so i think it it honestly doesn't even really matter that it it doesn't you know because

it's kind of dreamlike

so it's not like you're really seeing a performance of this of this song but but in any

case yes i had to play it fast and on this piano that was outdoors that just sounded

so incredibly terrible and everyone around me i was just like oh my god i'm so sorry for what

you're hearing right now was it were you worried that i'm just imagining myself playing it like

wanting to tell everyone hey everyone this isn't this isn't the record this isn't the

thing that you're hearing yeah there were like neighbors walking by and i was like this isn't

actually i like yeah yeah but you know you achieved and i think part of like i was kind

of joking that i just didn't didn't realize at first that it was slow motion but that kind of

was is what's so cool about the effects because i didn't realize it and it did just have this

dreamlike quality that i didn't really register something different was happening it just felt

very dreamlike but then i realized like oh wait there's

dancer is moving slowly but fat like yeah so yeah it's a really cool effect will you ever

perform these pieces on a different piano like does that or they feel like they're just really

attached to this instrument yeah that's i've been getting that question a lot and i i have

actually played some of the pieces on different pianos um both both grands and uprights and

yeah i think some of the pieces work better than others

different pianos like the ones that are more textural um don't work as well i feel like

because there's also a lot of sound design in the recording um which i think a lot of people don't

realize perhaps on first listen you know they were very intentionally recorded and then also

produced in a certain way um so yeah i'm i'm definitely wrapping my mind around how to

perform these pieces out in a certain way and i think that's a really cool thing to do and i think

that's a really cool thing to do and i think that's a really cool thing to do and i think

and and i've done it and i'll i'll keep doing it but i'm also in the process of of reimagining

them um so i've been just thinking about how i can play these in in ways that are just

really very different from the album so it's not like it feels like a lesser version you know what

i mean yeah yeah that makes perfect sense because a lot of i mean i was thinking when i was listening

to it a lot of the character of the pieces

would not be represented on a brighter more like i anything i want to say like the thing i love about

the pieces and the way the piano sounds are its imperfections so i'm trying to find a way to

talk about the imperfections in a way that they're perfectly perfectly imperfect but you know like

but there's a sound to the to the piano that you perform on that isn't yeah anyway i think i'm

restating

what you already said it's okay but that does make sense and it's really interesting to think

of the pieces themselves having a different life and being reinvented for a different instrument

yeah yeah it's it's a big question in my mind right now because i feel like the you know so

much of my creative output for the last like two years has been centered around this piano

and it really took me through the pandemic and you know some very dark days and i was

at home with this

instrument making music and recording and now it's like i have to i have to journey beyond that

the the safety of this instrument and um and i think it's it's it's new music but it's also

uh yeah reimagining what i've already written for that instrument part of this album and the

composition of this album um relates to your processing of some grief did i read that correctly

that you'd lost your dad

yeah yeah you know the um so that was in in 2015 and it was it was pretty sudden and then i

um so then my my last album histories uh was really a very like direct kind of synthesis

of of that experience and and trying to connect to um my family and ancestry that in a way

because of him being gone and then i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so

so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and then and then this album i actually um

hadn't originally really thought of it in that way but then as i was as i was coming to the

to the finish line of working on this album and and it's really so different from histories but

as as i was thinking about it it's like wow this it's all the same themes like whether

i like it or not like i feel like i'm still kind of processing um you know what it means

means to, to lose a parent, what it means to lose a connection to, um, you know, to their,

to their family, to their country, um, in this case for me. And, uh, it's just, yeah. So yes.

And I didn't, I didn't realize that until kind of late in the, in the process.

Yeah. It's the, it's, uh, it, yeah, you know, it's a process and it's a thing that we think,

yeah, I there's, I did some work about the, um, like some creative work and other kinds of work

about the loss of my mom and, and a lot, it was a very healing process, but also like making art

about something like that really reveals more than you might, you might realize. Well, you probably

realize cause you've in that process too. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Um, and of course this is, um,

I mean, this is why we make art, right? Like the, the most personal things that we can imagine

are actually what brings other people in, right. And connects us. And of course grief and loss and

death is really like, if there's one thing that we can connect with, with everyone, it's, it's that,

right. Um, I mean, it's such a, an all encompassing thing that every single human being goes through.

Um, so yeah, I think there I've gone through stages of like, wow, this feels so gratuitous.

Like I'm all of my art, all of my music is about like me and these very personal things. But of

course that's, that's what it is. And that's what other people connect to. Yeah. Yeah. It's,

that's a ongoing challenge, especially being a solo artist. I know you're not entirely a solo

artist, but like doing a lot of work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Work. That's just your music and you performing it. And I'm relating to that because I do a lot

of that too, that it's easy to fall into. And maybe even those, uh, I always forget the RuPaul

has a perfect name for like the inner, inner, inner saboteur, um, that little inner critic

that's like, Oh, here you go again, making your art about you that you're gonna, you know,

do you experience that level of, um, uh,

self criticism? Oh my gosh. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Um, I mean, yeah, you know, like leading

up to an album release, I feel like, you know, it's not a real release if you don't go through

at least like a few, few periods of just like, wow, I can't release like this should never see

the light of day. Like, you know? Um, and it's, I mean, it's intense. It's really intense. And I

think, you know,

an album that comes out, like all people see is this beautiful finished product. And it's like,

man, you know, there were two plus years of just like going through these cycles of,

of writing and feeling really great about it. And then cycles of just despair that you've spent all

this time on something that you don't feel good about. Um, and I don't know, it's, it's, uh,

it's like, we know every artist goes through this, but I also,

I feel like it's not always talked about.

Yeah. And it's hard even, even after having experienced my own version of that,

it's hard to remember how real it is when it starts happening. And that feeling,

I like, I'm so connecting with that feeling of like, oh my God, what is this? Like,

what have I done? Yes. I can't. Oh my God. What was I thinking? Like, yeah, all of that stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm really happy that you got past all of that and, and have released this album.

Yeah. Well, and I will say that I feel very, very lucky that my husband, Sam is the one who,

who produced the album with me and engineered it, you know, and he obviously knows me better than

anyone really. And so, you know, the darkest times, like it was just good to have someone

right there.

Hmm.

That was so deeply in my corner and just like understood this music and this project

as well as I, or even better at certain times, you know? And so having that,

that person there, I think was, was just really crucial.

Yeah.

And not everyone has that, you know? And so I feel very fortunate that that was the case. And I

think it, it also informed the music in a lot of ways and the way that, that it turned out in the

end.

Yeah.

Oh, that's interesting. I, I was wondering about the production and all that kind of stuff. So

that's interesting. Like it's interestingly in-house within like your relationship anyway.

Yeah. It's extremely in-house. Everything was in-house, which was another big, big difference

with, with histories. You know, where I went to the place and recorded with the person and,

you know, and it's just a very different experience.

For this album, you know, I, I really feel like this music, it, I don't know that I would have

gotten to the place that I really needed to get to in terms of the intimacy and the, the vulnerability

of it if I had been going to a studio. And of course it would have been an entirely different

thing anyway, because it would have been a different piano and whatever, that's a different

project. But just having that experience of being able to, to play that, this piano with this person

recording.

You know, I think it, it made the album what it is.

Yeah. Oh, I, this is, I was, I did a podcast interview earlier today and I've,

we both kind of confessed she, they are also a podcaster and that we like do podcasting to have

an opportunity to have conversations with people that we wouldn't otherwise. And this is one of

those conversations I'm like, oh, this, I love getting this type of insight about a piece of

work, like your album. So thanks for, side note, thanks for sharing all that.

All this stuff. So the album is called Inner Softening and you make a lot of references

throughout like your website. And I think I saw it on Bandcamp, like different places.

I can't remember the exact, something about softies or an album for softies. Did I see

or something like that?

Yeah. Music for softies. I call myself a softie. Yeah. Yeah.

Is there more than just that in the composition of the album or how you looked at creating it?

Oh, that's a big question. Yeah. Well, so as you, as you've gathered, I have very much

latched onto this word soft and, and it, it happens, you know, right away when I

first encountered this piano and, you know, just kind of very, very technically, physically,

the piano is, is very soft. And, and so, you know, kind of right away I was, I was just

imagining this very soft piano. And, and so, you know, kind of right away I was, I was just

being in this building that had been so hard and, and hateful for so long. And I just started

chewing on the word soft and all of its incredible meanings in, in so many different ways, you

know. And it's just, I don't know, I just fell in love with this word and, and all of

its connotations. And, and I think as I was, as I was writing the music, you know, it just

kept running.

running through my mind, this idea of softness and how I can create an album experience that

invites people into softness, whatever that might mean for them. You know, I mean, I have

a laundry list of, of definitions, you know, softness of our hearts and minds and bodies

and how we interact with other people. Like, I just love this idea of like soft bodies

squishing together. Like there's, there's,

like a connection that happens there as opposed to like hardness where things can't interact

in the same way, if that makes any sense. So yeah, it did. It really informed everything

with this album and, and it just started purely because of this very soft instrument.

That description of the instrument is kind of what I was trying to find earlier when

I was trying not to, to insult the piano.

You know, like there's the, the piano itself is so soft. And I think that's what made me

really wonder about performing these pieces on a different instrument, because in general,

some of the sound that you achieve in these pieces sounds like it's the piano, you know,

like it's some of the notes that are really intentionally brought out, probably take more

effort than they would on a, on a different piano. Just like so much of the kind of a,

I think of it as like a wash feeling sound. Like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, there's not a lot of attack on the, on the notes.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. So, that's what I think really- what I was wondering about, which you already answered,

but it's made, suddenly I'm like, oh yeah, soft. That's, that's the complement I want

for this piano.

It is very, very, very soft. Yeah, I love when you know, people come over and play a

little bit on the piano,

and have similar reactions as I did the first time.

And it's just, I think it pulls you in because it's so intimate, it's so soft.

And so it just kind of forces you to listen very carefully.

And then you start hearing all the clicks and the mechanical sounds.

And then you hear, you know, and so it just kind of takes you on this journey with this instrument.

And, of course, listening intently and carefully and softly is also a huge part of what I imagine for this album and a listening experience, you know.

Yeah. And just for your notes, the album has the same experience.

You know, as you're listening, as I was listening, different things started to uncover.

As you know, as you settle into like, okay, here's where we are.

And you can start listening to.

And more different things and the different clicks of the piano and the rhythms of the clicks that, you know, like they feel separate and part of what's happening.

It's so cool.

I really love it.

Oh, thank you.

So speaking of, we should listen to another piece before we go, which it's also time to do.

We're going to listen to the closing of the album after Stardust.

And this will also be our goodbye.

Is there anything in particular you want to mention about the piece we're going to listen to?

And there doesn't have to be.

Yeah, I don't think so.

I mean, I really, yeah, I try not to give too much, you know, kind of specific narratives to the individual songs.

I really just want people to go to their own place.

But, of course, after Stardust, I always, I think about Stardust.

As this kind of unifying thing.

Another unifying thing for humans that we all kind of come from the same place.

And, you know, the first track, The Seas That Made Us, also that we all come from the same primordial soup, you know.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, just like, I guess the overarching idea that we're all connected and listening to this music or any music or any art, you know.

Finding.

Those connections with people.

And so, yeah, after Stardust, I guess, wherever it takes you.

It has been so great to talk to you.

And patrons who are listening, if you want to hear more, we're going to have a little second bonus exclusive interview that will be on Patreon in a couple of days.

Thank you so much for joining me, Sophia, on that podcast today.

Thanks for having me.

You're welcome.

Happy New Year is wonderful.

And I will talk to you soon.

Bye.