The Sunday Carve Up – 8th September

Now on Wide World of Sports, the Sunday Carve-Up.

Jai Arrow, what's planned for the off-season, mate?

You going away? You doing anything special?

Got a fairly big trip coming up with the missus.

Going to Ireland and then Canada to meet the family.

Awesome.

Oh, she's Canadian.

Canadian.

French-Canadian.

Toronto knows.

She's got a Bosnian-Croatian background, though.

Oh, firecracker.

I've heard that, but she seems all right.

Well, you have it up to her, yeah.

She seems all right so far.

I'm still waiting for that, mate.

A bold prediction.

I'm three-fifths of the way there, Ray.

Let's see if we can get them home.

What?

Three-fifths?

Is that more than half?

I said the back five of the Roosters to score.

Three-fifths.

60%.

Back it comes with the tennis one, Leahy.

And they score, basically, from the kick-off.

80%.

They...

Oh.

21.

We're watching a magnificent try by the Roosters

from the southern end to the northern end.

He's there tabulating.

What?

Four and a half?

Well, all you hear is 80%.

Thanks for your contribution, Josh.

It's been wonderful.

Hold on.

It might be back to 60%.

Joy Gray is obstructed and can't come forward to defend.

We have a decision.

That's right.

So let's just go back downstairs to Josh Morris.

60%, Ray.

Buy, swap and sell.

Let's bring it back.

What are you going to swap?

I want to swap the Harley.

How dare you?

Yeah, that's wrong, Gal.

You're disgusting, Gal.

Darling Bev and Daryl are rock solid.

Oh, yeah, right, yeah.

We've been together for a long, long time.

When was the last time we slept in the same bed?

Probably 20 years.

Rock solid.

It might have been last year after the bowls day.

Yeah.

Give me some skin.

Explain that.

Oh, well, she was off her chops.

Should I point out to you that I love redheads?

Let's see.

I do.

I love redheads.

Hey, at least your memory's good.

I know.

I remember her being here last year.

She's lovely.

I love you because you're redhead.

Strawberry blonde.

She's not strawberry blonde.

She's redhead.

I've got a tinge of the ginge.

Yeah, ginger.

I love that.

So, Daryl, you're using now national radio to hit on one of our listeners.

I'm not hitting on it.

Well, darling is in hospital at the moment.

I thought the peaking's just the name of the dish.

No, it's a peaking duck.

It's a peaking duck.

Are you sure?

Yes.

They like playing hide and seek.

I'm not convinced either.

What other sort of ducks are they?

Wild ducks.

You idiot.

I'm neither.

E-I-D-E-R.

They use it in quilts and pillows and stuff.

What are you talking about?

You're talking about feathers they use in like hide-a-down.

Listen, it's like a down duck.

Yeah, hide-a-duck.

You didn't have a duck.

Hide-a-butt-trap.

You haven't had a duck for years.

How do we get on to hide-a-duck when we're talking about peaking ducks?

Hide-a-duck.

How do you spell it?

You did.

What was this?

E-I-D-E-R.

How long ago was this?

He had an hide-a-duck.

Stop it, you idiot.

You can look.

What up, hide-a-duck?

E-I-D-E-R.

I just put in hide-a-duck.

Now, what did it say?

I've just realised what you're talking about.

She did come up to us in that last news break and she said,

Mark, when are you coming to sign the part of my body?

And I said, well, where am I signing?

And she indicated her left breast.

Why don't you do both of them?

Where's the boss?

Mark, and leave him.

Is there any bosses here?

Am I allowed to sign people's body parts?

That's okay there.

That's chess.

Mate, if you could sign one of mine, but it'd just be a full stop.

Can we get this on camera, please?

Why don't you come and give me some tips, Daryl?

Well, she's going to give you her tips.

You're talking from experience here, aren't you?

Oh, I wish.

If I tear him for three days now, I'm probably going to see him.

Newcastle Nights boys at home, heaving, heaving.

Frosty.

Heaving.

Easy.

Here's one for you.

We've got to take a break.

Not yet.

Take a kick out.

Question for who's run the show here?

Andrew Lucas.

This veteran media performer has just dubbed himself the Bradley Cooper of the media.

When I was working on the Today Show at Channel 9, it was about 11 years ago,

Jerry Ginger Spice Halliwell.

Oh, no.

Was coming on the telethon.

And she said to me, she goes, oh, do you know who you look like?

Bradley Cooper.

You know how he can look really handsome or really ugly in movies?

You look exactly like him when he looks ugly in movies.

Now, your son, Harry, he's got a touch of the gingers as well, hasn't he?

Yeah.

Well, because my wife has red hair.

What are you suggesting?

I'm not suggesting anything.

I'm putting it up to you to work it out.

She said I was ugly.

I was ugly, Bradley Cooper.

Ginger, spice, and Harry, but ginger.

Hang on.

How old's Harry?

10.

How long ago did you work at the Today Show?

11 years.

No.

I worked there 10 years and 9 months ago.

Hello, Bradley.

Bradley Cooper.

Give yourself a wrap.

I can't wrap myself, but he's right up there.

You batter a snapper.

Yeah.

He's a massive snapper.

Yeah, you do.

What's wrong with that?

That is ridiculous because it's such a lovely piece of fish.

Well, it's still lovely if you have batter around it.

No, you've just ruined it.

Oh, you're an idiot.

Bloody ruined it.

Hey, can you ever have a battered salve?

Do you?

Salves don't swim in the ocean.

Do you have a battered salve?

I don't see salves in the ocean.

Do you have a battered salve?

No.

You do so.

Do you ever just eat a salve without batter?

No.

You do so, hot dog.

Your pilate is ruined.

What?

Pilate?

I think you're tasteless.

Your pilate.

I might just tell much I missed you.

There's something broken on it.

New since the day we spotted.

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Brilliant.

Did you love ABBA when you were growing up?

Yeah.

Well, I was obviously a kid in the 70s.

They were massive.

Did you like Agnita or the other one?

The blockbuster.

The beyond one.

It wasn't beyond.

Agnita or beyond.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.