RIP a Livecast #785 - Muff McKagan

This is your announcer, Shannon St. Mainframe, welcoming you to our IPA livecast.

Did you hear? Dick Cheney says he's voting for Harris in November.

So the livecast is going for his endorsement too.

I'm sure we'll have it in the bag after we drone strike Jamie Justice's podcast studio.

Our IPA livecast starts now.

Welcome to the live, the RIPA podcast.

Drone strike. There'll be no drone striking.

I did not know we were seeking out Dick Cheney's endorsement.

I don't want him endorsing anything I'm doing.

Sorry. No, thanks. Sorry, not sorry, as you'd say.

Not interested. Pass.

Trash it.

Yes, that is 100%.

That's that trash.

Okay.

Poor Dick.

He's such a good soul.

And, you know, everyone always shits on him.

Yeah, he's done so much good for this world.

I have to say, you know, we're very cynical about politics a lot of the time here.

But I do want to take a second and say I really do think it's great that you have a choice.

Like whether what type of Republican you are, you have a choice in this election.

And I think that's awesome.

That's like a really.

That's like a really good statement on our democracy.

Start.

At least someone has a choice.

Progress, right?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Welcome to the show.

It is September 7th.

Twenty thousand and twenty four.

No, that's not right.

Twenty hundred and twenty four.

Right.

That would be more accurate.

Two thousand and twenty four.

Yes.

Two thousand.

There you go.

Twenty hundred.

You have a stroke.

It works.

We're talking.

We're talking about how how Shannon had a stroke in the beginning of the podcast.

But maybe Rob is a little off to a stroke or a toke.

Which one was it, Rob?

I took a toke.

Probably went to the morning.

He probably went to the beach this morning.

So he did have a stroke over there.

Yeah.

Did you have eggs for breakfast?

Because then it'd be a stroke, a toke and a yoke.

No beach, no yoke.

A little sex because then you had a poke.

Definitely.

Yeah.

Had a poke with a bloke.

Listen to any tone.

Look.

Carefully.

You don't croak.

So just a joke.

It should be the rest of the episode, though, though.

I just ruined it.

God damn it.

Episode.

Go in the bath.

You'll have an epic soak.

Drink a Coke.

I think we're all out.

No quick man comment says this is the Letterkenny portion of the live cast.

I've never seen that show, so I don't get the reference.

Do they do rhyming?

Well, I know someone who is extremely into Letterkenny.

My ex-wife actually is some TV show about Canada.

Yeah.

People love it.

I've been told to watch it, but there's like so many episodes.

It's just like it's too much to get into at this point.

Yeah.

It's Schitt's Creek.

I tried.

When that first came out, I watched like the first two episodes and wasn't into it, and

I dropped it.

And then everybody's like, no, no, no.

It's great.

I tried.

I love the cast.

I love everyone in the cast.

Great people.

But the time has passed.

Huh?

Yeah.

Eugene Levy and me go way back.

He did my bris.

What?

Okay.

He's as much of a Brooklyn Jew as you can be growing up in Canada.

Yes.

100%.

Yes.

I know so many people who's when I grew up, whose dads look like Eugene Levy.

Absolutely.

Same.

A lot of people in Brooklyn look like Eugene Levy.

Is it Levy or Levy?

Honestly, I don't know.

I've heard it both ways a million times.

I've heard mostly Levy.

I don't know if that's just like a Canadian thing or what, but I've mostly heard his name

said Levy.

Can't have a Jewier name than that.

I don't think.

I don't know.

My.

High school psychology teacher, Mr.

Schmertzler.

I don't even know what his first name was, but his last name was Schmertzler and he had

a comb over.

Oh, so I think that he is the, that most Jewish person and name.

Yeah.

Sorry, Eugene.

You've been eclipsed in Jewishness.

I'd, I'd go back and like Google what his first name was, but I'm not sure how to spell

Schmertzler.

Google.

Take the rest of the episode for me to figure that out.

The AI will, will parse that out for you and find him.

That's how it works now.

There was also Mr.

Shepetinsky, a very heavyset math teacher at my high school.

Dare, you didn't have any of these people?

Nope.

I think you're making this up.

Honestly.

No, no, no.

There was, there was Mr.

Schmertzler.

There was Mr.

Schmertzinski.

This was our junior high school or?

No, no, no.

High school.

This is Madison.

Oh, okay.

Nope.

Didn't have any of those.

Well, I was only in Madison for two years.

And then I stopped going.

That's plenty.

I like how everybody in the chat is saying hello to my cat.

Just as she leaves the screen.

That's, that's how she is.

That's very cat-like behavior.

The second she's noticed, she's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

Apologies, everyone.

My Judaism was put into question this week, actually.

Whether you are Jewish or how much of a Jew.

How dare.

No, whether I was Jewish, it was a, so our, the morning jujitsu class,

we have a WhatsApp group.

We have like a group chat.

Okay.

Uh, we have like a group message and, uh, in the group messaging.

I posted, uh, asking, I'd like to, I'd like to throw out some engagement

bait into, into the chat occasionally.

Uh, just to, just to get a sense of what people are doing.

And I was just like, oh, uh, what do you guys eat before class?

Because, uh, I typically either don't eat or somebody mentioned how they need to eat

something.

Uh, to have a little energy for the rolling and what granola bar perhaps.

Right.

Yeah.

Or pussy.

No one suggested that.

It seems like an amp you up too much.

You know, that's what I was thinking.

Like, I feel like jerking off or, or getting off, uh, in any way before class kills some

of the mojo you need for these roles.

You want to get off after class?

I think I can see that.

We're during your role.

Hey.

But, uh, the next day at the gym, one of the, uh, one of the people, uh, one of my

classmates, one of my colleagues, what would they be called?

Uh, classmates is fine.

One of these schnooks, uh, one of these schmurchlers.

It was meant to be like, uh, and you know, he's a bit of a ribber, so he kind of goes

like, oh, this little baby's stomach hurting.

Is your stomach hurting?

I was honestly a little.

I was.

I was a little taken aback initially.

Like, like, are you coming for me right now?

I mean, it's fucking nine 30 in the morning, bro.

And you're coming for me, bro.

But, uh, and then he was like, ah, what are you complaining about us?

Jews?

We're the ones with the, the, uh, poor digestion systems.

And I'm like, well, I hate to break it to you, pal, but you are amongst the chosen ones.

And he's like, what?

You're Jewish.

And I like, yeah, like a lot of like, fully.

He's like, what?

No, but your last day, but I'm like, oh, that's how we determine Jew is you want me to drop

my pants?

Oh, wait.

But everyone's circumcised right now.

That doesn't prove it.

I didn't say that.

I didn't say that, but he was, he was stunned.

And honestly, I could have thrown it right back at him.

I'm like, listen, pal, you don't look Jewish either.

Step back.

Just throwing compliments at each other.

Yeah.

Your news.

Your dose.

Your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your were the, was his name.

Schmertzler?

By any chance?

No, I don't want to say his name, but okay.

But we eliminated Schmertzler from the very American.

It's nothing, it's nothing of this ilk that we're, we're joking about.

Yeah.

That guy.

Yeah, it's okay.

Rob is not intimidated.

I can, I can take them out.

I, Rob has many Jewish traits.

Yeah.

And it's so interesting.

Because it was the first time where it, like, my internal sense was like, no, no, I'm Jewish.

Usually I'm like, I'm not that Jewish.

Right, yeah.

Like, no, no, no, I'm Jewish.

Well, you don't usually have the proposition challenged in such a way.

Yes, yes, exactly.

You were so triggered you went home and donated $300 to the IDF.

I wasn't that triggered.

All right, maybe next time.

I would say, Junarito asks, how Jew-y was his day?

Which is a borderline questionable question.

We were all thinking it.

On a scale of one to ten, I would say it's two.

I would say it's two or three, his name.

So I honestly didn't even realize he was Jewish.

But, you know, I still haven't really told many people that I'm Russian or, you know, Ukrainian, whatever the fuck.

You don't even know, how can you tell them?

Whatever the fuck.

No, because there's a few Soviets, or whatever they are, you know, in the class, ex-Soviet.

Boy.

Some, and I haven't really, I haven't blown my cover yet.

For someone who's so concerned with all these labels, you just don't get any of them right.

Like, you don't care.

Not that you don't.

You just don't get it.

Just the Jewish one.

The rest I don't care about.

Okay.

I mean, you know, like, I only, I've only.

Uh, accepted my Persian heritage in my, in my adult life anyway, so.

For the longest time, I was like, eh, I'm just a.

I would, as a kid, I would, I would say I always felt like I was Russian, which is so inaccurate.

Why?

In every sense.

Uh, what?

Why?

Why is that inaccurate?

Uh, well.

I wasn't born in Russia.

I was born in America.

But, like.

Yeah.

The neighborhood you grew up in, the language you spoke at home.

Right, right, right.

So, yeah.

So, but if I, if you ask the people that came from there, they would, I don't even know

if they consider themselves Russian.

I think they would consider themselves Jewish or Ukrainian, maybe.

You know?

That was the, that's been the weird thing.

It's like, oh, yeah, I'm Ukrainian.

I'm not, like, my heritage is Ukrainian.

It's not Russian.

But when.

My whole.

When you were a kid, it was still like.

My whole life shattered.

It was like, basically still all one thing.

People weren't making that distinction.

The majority of my life, it's been Ukrainian.

Yeah, but when you were young enough that that opinion was forming in your head, it

wasn't a distinction.

Yeah, okay.

I'll take it.

Thank you, Sid.

That's all.

That's understandable.

Let's all have some Dr. Scott.

And that's how people viewed us when we were kids at school.

Like, they didn't ask which part of Russia you're from.

You're just one of the fucking Russian kids.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

No one was like, oh, they're the Ukrainians.

Those are the Belarusians.

Yeah.

And it was funny how they, like, you, Jewish was one of those other boxes.

You know?

Like, you wasn't like.

Because there's no nationality that's Jewish, you know?

But it was like, you were Russian, black, Puerto Rican, whatever, or Jewish.

You couldn't be Jewish and something else.

My mom insists that Jewish is a nationality.

It's a fight I have with her to this day.

Right.

Well, I think that that's a widespread belief.

And that's why people did that when we were in school.

It's because their parents just drilled it into them that that is a nationality.

Well, also, yeah, to your point, Sid, I'm sure when she was a child, she was told her

nationality is Jewish.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

That's that's a big reason why all the Russian Jews left Russia.

Yeah.

Because they were quite oppressed there.

And then they found other.

Yeah.

But here it's like, all right.

You let like, could you drop that already?

You're like, yeah, everyone here is a Jew.

And everyone here is Russian.

It's all the fuck.

Yeah.

Like in my elementary school, the Americans were the minority.

My classes were like 90 percent Russian Jew.

Yeah.

That happened right after I left elementary school.

I feel like that started happening when I was in junior high.

Is that like?

I guess the Berlin Wall came down at that point or something.

No, I wasn't.

I was in high school.

But like, yeah, all the Russians started coming in.

And then it was like that was the majority in Brooklyn.

I was a kid like the dividing line was right.

It was overnight because like before that, it was Jewish, Italian, Irish, a few Puerto

Rican, a few black kids.

And there was like maybe three Russians in my entire class.

But they came like they escaped as opposed to coming here, you know, emigrating after

the wall.

And I'm sort of in between the two of you.

So for me, I know for Russia, it was like late 70s.

You could start.

They started letting go.

That's when 79 is when.

But there wasn't a flood of people, though.

There was.

Yeah, it was a slow trickle.

And then that's what I was going to get sponsored.

Yeah.

Like when I started elementary school, I was one of like maybe two Russian kids that I

knew of in the school.

By the end of elementary school, they were calling me into the principal's office to

translate.

For new Russian kids that were trickling in in junior high, there was just ESL classes

full of fresh off the boat Russian kids.

And then by high school, like it was fucking 50 percent.

Yeah.

By the time I was in, I guess maybe like first or second grade, not so much kindergarten.

But yeah, it was already.

That's it.

The invasion was here.

Russians are here and they have they've been breeding and their children are in class in

South Brooklyn.

Speaking of Russian, I had a MRI.

I had a MRI.

Today, all my stories are connected because I'm beginning physical therapy because my

jujitsu injuries are starting to add up, which is exciting.

It feels like the next step in my jujitsu journey is being broken.

His PT.

Yeah.

But the I've had an MRI before and it was in the city and it was this guy relatively

my age.

He was really cool.

He was very chill, very accommodating.

Great bedside manner would constantly be like, we're almost done.

It's cool.

You know, like just try to stay as still as you can because the more still you stay, you

know, the less we have to retake stuff, yada, yada, and constantly updates like, oh, we're

almost done.

I went today and this was here in Brooklyn, although the nicer part of Brooklyn in Cobble

Hill, I will say it's not in Russian Brooklyn or ex-Soviet Brooklyn, which I.

Would go out of my way not to see a doctor for a lifetime of trauma.

You want the guy fucking smoking a cigarette while he's running the MRI machine that are

just guilt tripping you.

I've had that happen.

Like not MRI.

I went there for not for an MRI, but the same, the same thing.

The guy was walking around smoking a butt.

Not kidding.

Oh, I 100% believe you.

He thought I wasn't there.

Like he was in, I, you know, they bring you in.

I'm sorry to interrupt your story, right?

They bring, they bring you.

Yeah.

They bring you.

You're sitting in the waiting room.

They bring you into another second waiting room and you got to sit there like they take

your blood pressure and all that.

And the guy walked by like not knowing I was there, I think.

And then he saw me.

Oh, he starts.

Oh my God.

Right now.

I'm like, well, where the fuck am I here, bro?

That's the risk.

I have very good insurance, like money wise, like it pays for everything.

And I'm very lucky to have that.

But the, like the choice of doctors is not great.

Like you have to look around a lot.

And I've have found good doctors, but it takes work.

Yeah.

So like you got to go trial and error on some of them.

A lot of them are Russian, Russian places.

Uh, yeah.

So the MRI tech was Russian and she just had no time for anybody's bullshit.

Yes.

Come, come, let's go.

Come.

Yes.

Put, put all electronic in locker.

Let go.

Anything with metal.

Uh, your clothes.

What did you wear?

What is this?

What is this short?

Oh, it goes into my crotch to, to like, look at the string on my, on my shorts.

Cause it doesn't have a.

Now, when you say she goes into your crotch, what exactly does that mean?

Like, like not literally like, like she sticks her face parallel to my crotch to like observe

the, the drawstring on my shirt.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

To make sure there's no metal.

What position are you in when this happened?

I'm standing.

Tell us a little slower, please.

She squats down.

So she's eye level.

Not squats.

But like bends over.

Like her knees aren't bent.

Her, her back is bent.

Okay.

And I'm like, like it all happened so fast that I'm almost like, what the fuck?

It's starting to sound like a less unattractive doctor's office.

All those.

Uh, and then, and so I take, yes.

Put that.

Come here.

Come.

Let's go.

Yes.

Okay.

And then I walk in and, and so I'm still of the, I guess because I'm, I'm wearing,

uh, mostly cotton clothing.

I didn't have to change.

Uh, I didn't have to change.

I didn't have to change.

Uh, into the scrubs, even though there was a sign in the, in the room, like, like you

to change just because you know, whatever like, uh, and she's like, no, come lay that.

So I walk in and I'm like, oh, I don't have to change them.

I'm like, man.

Yes.

Now let's go and then here, here, you know how there's like a, a fail safe that they

give you?

you start freaking out like a panic button like a panic button yeah yeah that's what i meant

i was like yeah this is too much just press this you'll come out but

uh and i you know uh it's always just the first second when you're uh like uh you know

escalated into the mri thing that it feels intimidating but then i'm just like whatever

i'm gonna take a nap yeah i basically just napped the whole time and it was fine okay you're done

thank you next like no bedside man and also i want to be clear it's not like this was

you know at the end of a long day i intentionally had my appointment at 8 a.m to be the first person

to not to avoid the bureaucratic hell of having to sit there for two hours and wait to go through

it i just wanted to be first so i was her first patient what is she so

upset about what is she so impatient about where does she have to go she has the whole day ahead of

her and yes this is what the show has turned into 40 year olds talking about

techs and medical procedures deal with it not 40s not 40s well no well 40 plus let's say yes yes

middle-aged men yeah hopefully

medical procedures

you should rename this the barely alive cast oh we're doing all right

are we actually a live cast that was actually uh something that gave me a little pause was that i'm

i'm past the uh all of us are likely past the halfway point of our lives well hey listen speak

for yourself that's right your family you know they live pretty long i don't want to jinx it but

yeah

i did have uh two aunts that one lived to 102 and one lived to 104 and their sister lived to 97.

hopefully that's pretty good yeah i'm i'm leaving this this plane early i'm not i'm not staying oh

well you but you live fast die hard that's uh look i just smoked weed what do you mean live

fast what do i live fast you do stuff in the ocean you're gonna see aw on every continent

i haven't done that in a long time i haven't done that in a long time i haven't done that in a long time

over the place wait what getting strange ass all over the place i've tempered that down that

is that really true yeah what what can we explore that or do you not want to talk about it

curious i never knew not quite ready to talk about it oh shit is there a story there you

just don't feel like opening that right now uh just don't feel like talking about it okay sorry

rob i apologize but no yeah i'm i'm really like what's what is that you think i'm gonna die from

that

sex get out of here get out no i didn't mean it that way i meant like you do a lot of heart rates

better you do a lot of stuff i don't mean that's gonna cause you to die i'm just saying you're

more willing to die because you've had no less sedentary life oh because i'm traveling you're

saying like there's a chance i could die in a plane crash no not you're reading this completely

wrong i'm saying like your your life is action-packed and so you're more like wouldn't

that give me a longer life though if you're more sedentary aren't you prone to die sooner

you're looking at this literally your readiness and being okay with it as opposed to a life full

of experiences yeah so you're like good with what yeah i'm okay with it sure yeah fine with it i've

i've accepted it it's nice but sounds so fatalistic when you say it that way yeah you're expecting a

lightning bolt or something yeah well my uncle died in his 50s and uh like i mentioned my uncle

the great uncle

uh

lionized on the show what was his real name let's be fair to him uh his name was arnold arnold

you just made it you just came up with a name i think i did that

someone uh no but he died like i have a very similar body type to him i look a lot like him and

everywhere yeah well i don't know i haven't seen those photos

oh my god or alive in person that would be let's exhume the body just to make

sure alive in person we did go to bathhouse but i don't remember oh no i guess i didn't go to the

saunas i would just stay in the in the pools let's exhume the body you're saying his cock was that big

that there would still be meat on his on his body in that area by this point let's be a little

respectful it's actually the 30th anniversary just passed oh shit which is so wow is this

something you commemorate well it's the he died one day before my birthday oh god it's very easy

to remember jesus uh yeah and so uh but you know uh so he died uh in his 50s so i'm kind of like i

i do have this kind of back of my head like oh you know plus i'm a bigger guy right i use more

more more resources internally i mean i'm relative to us you're bigger you're not like a

fucking seven foot four you don't have acromegaly yeah bigger than average though but but i'm saying

my my heart has to pump harder there's more to pump there's more to cover but also that's one

guy like you have your parents are older than 50 yeah that's true

sorry rob you might live longer yeah i hope so sure well honestly i think a big part of it too

is that he didn't really do any preventative care which i'm very on top of and uh uh

trying to

be ahead of like i've seen like every sort of specialist

that i like my insurance is very expensive but i i intentionally got the one where i can just go to

uh any specialist without a referral like i could just pick one you know and so

i've just been doing that but that shit adds up but it's nice it's nice to go to a certain

specialist and they'll be like nothing is wrong with you yeah in this field and i'm like great

thank you i'll see you in two years one down 31.

to go okay yeah yeah exactly um you gotta go check out a gastroenterologist

enterologist yeah that's my next what's wrong with your gastro well here's the thing i i it's

so funny because for the longest time i've had brutal acid reflux you remember even on the show

like i couldn't sometimes get through a read or something without you know like those burps that

i would have those really gross burps

but uh i've i've actually noticed that once i started jiu-jitsu and lost the 40 pounds that

i've lost and had this body transformation it's actually curbed my acid reflux greatly like to

the point that i barely even get it like the only time i will get it is if i you know i'm asking for

it in the sense of like having some sort of incredibly spicy indian food or or or like a lot

like italian food you know the acidity of tomato we'll get that's what does it to me i found is

tomato sauce that's the most yes yeah i agree with you like that which is so funny because i feel

like before i was way more tolerant of it like my body same could process it much better than it

does now yeah tomato sauce is the biggest one and then like really spicy indian food like that

fancy place that sid sid and i masala wallah and sons yeah but how is it that spicy

it's not necessarily it's not it's not that it's unbearably spicy or anything like that it's just

that that whatever those things are trigger just my gastrointestines to start like bumping it up

those like that place it's worth it yeah oh absolutely and it's it's it's manageable now

where i could just take you know an antacid and it'll it'll curb it but so that's really exciting

if you want to be healthy again i would say that's the best way to do it i would say that's the best

good way to be healthy just lose 10 pounds lose 10 pounds just let rob put you in a chokehold

yeah join a jujitsu club if you can't there's always ozempic

that's what it's gonna end up being for everybody until we find out that there's

like all these horrible side effects can we make that the episode title by the way there's always

ozempic sure maybe they'll give us like a sponsorship judarino shouting out the

best thai place in los angeles says rob and i still need to go to jiltada jiltada in hollywood

i always say jiltada i've seen that on various like restaurant tv shows that like do different

they just show items from different restaurants that jiltada is pretty famous

i wonder if you have been to the my favorite thai restaurant in new york which is called

zub zib i think you've mentioned that before on the show right that name sounds familiar

i don't know it's pretty like popular place i don't think i've been where is it

ninth avenue in 30s 30s 30 something yeah manhattan oh so in the thai district is it then i don't know

well i feel like in chelsea there's like there's a bunch of thai places like right up against each

other the thai place over there that i've been to is pong sri i don't know if that's still open

that was the one i used to go to

zub zib very good very

spicy i like that authentic well to me my white palette but i don't know for a fact that it's

authentic but it's different from all the basic bitch thai places around you know yeah they just

have pad thai uh yeah i don't think this place even had pad thai which is nice if i remember

correctly but

i'm craving a panggang curry

wait which kind panggang panggang pangbang pangbang i think bang bang this sounds like

this sounds like uh your favorite video title uh series dusty roads mothler rob knows all about

the thai district from sex tourism well rob just said he's curbing that dusty letter yeah

maybe that's why maybe there's a thai flashback starbucket

like on lost too spicy burn that dick you get you get a tattoo from bai ling

yes my first tattoo was in thailand on a sex tourism trip from a 13 year old boy oh he tattooed

help me i've been kidnapped on rob's lower back oh on his back i was gonna say if it was on his

cock there would be so much extra room no one would see the message

rob no no comment no no comment you have to be tattooing for an hour on all the cock

can we see your lower back right now rob just to make sure there's not a distress message carved

oh he's gonna do it

oh all right

tattooed

some hair on there

don't no no crack no cracks sit back down get out of here

we're all looking very svelte svelte

that's right

family show

since when is this a family show

deuterino impressed with your tan lines or terrified by them i don't know deuterino

elaborate please

that's a kink for some people right tan lines

is that i guess hello jay cutson with the smackdown logo

is he related to ernie

kate henry

deuterino says i love anything about rob

oh good grief

um take it down a notch are you guys excited about the lincoln park reunion

yes it's called it's probably going to be missing one key feature though

well they have a new they have a new co-vocalist okay is he just doing an impression though oh you

don't know it's a she she is she doing an impression i don't have no idea do not follow

lincoln park news please enlighten her name is emily armstrong she's from some band i've never

heard of dead sarah so they're not recording anything they're just they're releasing a new

album oh they have a new single out it actually sounds pretty good it sounds fine uh very out of

the loop apparently uh yeah so i don't really want to play any of the music uh because i don't thank

you to have a copy for my benefit oh also the copyright strike oh yeah really for sid uh

yeah

so they they had an interesting so there were rumors about who the singer the new singer would

be and that they were being reactivated they were teasing it there's been a rumor for a long time

that it would be a woman because of chester's relatively high register of course jesus christ

fucking went and died stop it being that bad he was that's what she that's gonna be those

drop-in lyrics he was such a bitch such a bitch

such a bitch why did i bring this up i regret it

screaming like a bitch

constantly screaming like a bitch because did you like the good part darren i don't see i do i'm just

i mean like not a fan super fan at all obviously i didn't even know they had a new fucking singer but

you know if there's a few catchy songs that i like to me it was just announced two days ago

darren so you're not that out of the loop thank you uh i probably wouldn't have known in two

months either to be honest let's be fair no it's interesting so the way they did it i'm surprised

they did it this way was they started teasing a countdown and when the countdown ended it started

a new countdown what that's good that's a good gimmick i'll give them that's like with baseball

now there's a pitch clock but if the pitcher steps off the mound it's a disengagement and

the clock just resets so they just had a disengagement and then reset the pitch clock

so eventually uh it was a real that there was some live event that they were selling tickets for

and they were being very careful with the scalping and that the tickets were non-transferable

you can only buy one ticket for yourself okay uh stuff like that so you can't go with a friend and

sit together

they understand that no lincoln park fan has friends

going in yeah take that uh and so uh anyway so what it was was a live event and then they start

performing and then here comes emily armstrong and she's the new singer and here's what i will

say she is not doing a chester impression she's using her own voice okay but there is a similarity

and she does sing a song and she does sing a song and she does sing a song and she does sing a song

and she does sing a song and she does sing a song and she does sing a song and she does have the range

where a lot of the time she's hitting those notes and it's like and it sounds respectful enough

where it's like close enough where it's respectful but different enough where it's not just

some doesn't seem like a cash you know well i don't think i'm glad you mentioned a cash in

because this is i'm kind of torn on this hearing this because i think i i'm i hate when people

will say the stuff about even about motley

crew someone i can't stand like what are you doing don't go out until if you want to make

money you think people will show up at the show go ahead and do it i don't begrudge anybody that

but lincoln park specifically feels like a band that you can't like you can't replace the guy

that died like it just doesn't it will seem like a pale imitation no matter the guy is that band

for better or for worse like if you're somebody like sid that doesn't like lincoln park or hates

them he is the embodiment of what you don't like and if you love them he is the embodiment of what

you love you know what i mean on the one hand that's true but on the other hand queen tours

without freddie mercury the grateful dead tour without jerry garcia i think like bands have just

dropped that pretense like they're just like whatever people still come see a show i agree

songs and like they're like oh it's a celebration you're not getting the original thing we're just

going to do it again

to celebrate so the tickets will be discounted to reflect that right definitely right it's going

to be cheap well if you think about it they're discounted from what it would be if if he was

still around i don't know is that true like i need to probably be much more if he was still

around then they would have put out like five albums in the interim here and they would be a

band that nobody cares that much about because they never went away well this is also why i

opened by saying i don't begrudge them making money if they feel there's a

market

go fucking do it you know go capitalism go do whatever you like but my what my statement is

more geared towards the aesthetics of it like i just think it is doomed especially if you make

an album if you just tour like whatever okay if you make an album it's endlessly going to be

compared in that vein of to what that and especially the fact that they're dead they're

not kicked out it's not david lee roth situation the person's dead you know i have to think though

that most people's

expectations will be super low going in so the album can only exceed right probably nobody's

going to be like oh yeah this is definitely going to be a classic lincoln park record now

maybe not classic i think it'll be still judged in the you know next to the other one i mean

honestly like i was over lincoln park by the time you know by that point anyway like i felt like

they fell off for uh a few years like a few albums before like i only really cared about the first

two albums and maybe a couple of albums and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm

going to be a single or two off the third album and then they kind of transitioned into more of a

pop band which i think that's that's what they are really they're like a pop sort of rock band

they're a pop band that rock journalists pay attention to i think just also song is a pop

song the pop is it well i think fairly heavy to me it's very catchy i think also the less than

them changing as much i think the pop uh scene changed it's like to more include them to sort of

you know the more than just you know the rock

and groove the more than you know they are taking a joy out of them but it's part of it

so i'm still kind of a fan of them i i'm kind of a fan of them and kind ofлушай people son of a

kind aswell and so i would say that it was fun which is really funny because as long as you know

what you tried to build it needed to cause a steep incline you know if you have NFL h kernel

than that was really weird so i was really lucky i didn't really want to have a giant concert we

it was a tampon string nose to testicle uh contact anywhere there no nose to test nothing

like that thankfully like the rougeau's finisher the nose to the penis to nose move got it sorry

uh no so i guess somebody uh pointed out that she is a uh known scientologist

like a hardcore scientologist allegedly allegedly allegedly a scientologist and

that she uh supported danny masterson during his uh trial where he was convicted of rape

that's so weird by support here's what happened was she was spotted at one of his early hearings

and the person who called her out was the singer of

uh cedric whatever i can't say bixler zavala sure yes because as you recall his wife

uh was in the church and was one of the people that danny masterson abused allegedly and they

went through total hell because of it apparently like

their house would be fucked with the two of their dogs were poisoned yeah

uh it was uh it was

brutal that's so weird so how people uh say alleged science like nobody will do that with

christianity he's an alleged christian alleged jew imagine it's okay

you're right i didn't think of that take it back darryl no you were called a allegedly a non-jew

oh yeah and you got mad you're an alleged goy so then theoretically he could have been

alleging you were a scientologist

that's true that's a good point uh poisonous dog rob please

yes no i would never yeah say that yeah you want to be quoted saying you would never but then you're

actually going to go do it rob congratulations i just gave you a test on whether you were

scientologist and you can't zero thetans detected that's the first thing they test you on whether

you can kill a dog be careful with your joking so they're going to kill you if you don't kill a dog

come for your cats fuck no my cats don't leave the house so danny danny masterson's right outside

your window right now no isn't he in prison i don't know so there so it was a big to-do on the

internet yesterday and uh and i guess you released the steaton today uh say not addressing the

scientology stuff

but saying that essentially yes she was at one of the early hearings because she had no idea about

like the length of the depravity uh of the accusations against him and she does not support

him and she believes victim like it was a i will say it was a good statement it was exactly the

statement she needed to release uh to uh push back against these allegations because she was

apparently the allegation is she was seen at

one early hearing against danny masterson i think it's within the realm of reason to assume that she

wasn't up on what exactly the charges why is she fucking like have you ever gone to someone's

fucking court hearing just to observe rob unless you're a fucking court reporter like i guess i

don't have any friends that have been accused of rape and but is she friends with him does she even

admit to being friends with him uh she uh here's her statement

hi i'm emily i'm new to so many of you and i wanted to clear the air about something that

happened a while back several years ago i was asked to support someone i considered a friend

at a court appearance and went to one early hearing as an observer soon after i realized i

shouldn't have i always try to see the good in people and i misjudged him i haven't never spoken

with him since unimaginable details emerge and he was later found guilty to say it as clearly as

possible i do not condone abuse of power i do not condone abuse of power i do not condone abuse of power

or violence against women and i empathize with the victims of these crimes

good so she's sort of making it seem like she didn't even know what he was accused of until

she went to the fucking hearing as if that shit wasn't widely available on the internet if she

just cared to google it get the fuck out of here scientology you cannot use google and oh okay well

then that expects it's forbidden by xenu xenu who clearly wrote that fucking statement for her

fuck out of here emily emily's her name right yes thank you emily schmertzler oh my god no wonder

she turned to scientology yeah it's a very scientology name she goes by armstrong though

well of course she does now i didn't fuck my fucking name was schmertzler i changed it to

armstrong sorry to anyone in the audience whose name is schmertzler we'll really be schmertzling

you this uh this show

i apologize oh my god i'll say if if you could conjure the image of someone whose name is

mr schmertzler in your head that's exactly what he looked like i already got it yep

there was a guy named mr rotberg i remember him no the math teacher he looked like a like uh

like israeli jewish santa claus but his beard wasn't white but like his face okay i had a math

teacher like that at junior high school i had a math teacher like that at junior high school

named mr kurtz yeah mr kurtz is similar to that yeah like we did at the beginning of the show

i remember mr kurtz one time he gave a he used to he had this like um they had a math league

or something okay and uh it was but in the regular math class he would advertise joining the math

league so once in a while when there was class time he would give an incredibly complex math

problem and all the kids would just sit there like you know it's like a goodwill hunting kind

of situation

and then he would go in and ask the question how do you know and then the right answer would be

whatever's wrong and the right answer would be four three oh the eighth answer would be

любим he'd go he'd you know demand across theking the termisk six six seven eight five

seven eight nine twenty seven billion dollars worth of math also the axelina die london

well that's a very interesting lesson there's two pieces of math solving where one was like

you know two Venusians a equation invert three waves roughly eleven and maybe buried i don't

know how long that's as i remember that that's the the but how long that was the like 6 months

schmertzler get it right you're sorry you're taking away so many letters from his name

who can blame rob for that it's way too many letters in there it's a covid uh situation

what are you seeing in your head rob what are you uh the character from big mouth uh played

by nick kroll the like really schlubby the gym teacher yeah it's similar schmertzler i feel

was a little bit more heavyset with less hair and he had like a he'd wear like a white button

down shirt and dress pants that he didn't really fit into that well of course so so the brooklyn

covered in chalk dust oh yes the brooklyn educator uniform team uniform so i guess that's not a thing

anymore they all have like dry erase boards right there's no more like chalk i would oh is that so

probably right what i don't have kids i don't know my college

still has chalkboards oh but they have both like each each classroom mostly has a chalkboard not

the not the film department really but the other classes because i have some non-film classes they

all have a chalkboard but then there will sometimes be a whiteboard in there okay in my mind they just

everybody i guess yeah they're not spending that much on education here to just take out all the

old chalkboards and replace them so this depends on the school so remember a few uh months ago uh

i shared a it was like an edit of the debate between biden and trump and they were both singing

a chinese song yes that was great i want to present uh i found there's a sequel oh no they

haven't even debated yet there's already an edit they have to update i mean yeah exactly

you got the same wings i show up they farm cheetah

you go what's up

why

really sound like her trump i can sort of hear it trump one is so good yeah her voice is not

nearly annoying

no no no cackle

uh what a it really isn't as good as the original but i enjoyed it uh well we've got a debate coming

so maybe they'll have more yeah oh it's coming is it this week is it tuesday oh oh boy is this

the one on abc the one where where they're cutting uh mics and all that the same rules as the last

one yeah

the one where trump i guess practiced with you

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

koz when the last debate or the last set of me just boring

i don't

i

have trouble imagining anything could be as bad as the last debate

yeah

but i don't think it'll be boring some something something a fly a land on somebody's head or some

i felt the last debate was great i thought it was i just i bad as in like train wreck

oh not bad as in on watch right that's what i said yeah oh it'll be way more

it'll be way more unbearable to watch it'll be just that's what i mean each team's uh like

supporters will be over the moon orgasmic with how much they destroyed the other person

yes i was gonna say it's gonna be just endless like snapbacks that the other side will just be

like what no but the one you're you're pandering to is like yeah you got him but that's every

debate that's why the last one was so bad because on the democratic side no one could even find a

way to be like no you did good they're just like oh fuck it was so bad that he had to drop out of

the fucking race so that stands out historic this will just be a standard i think what if

kamala is so bad that she needs to drop out then what happens i don't know i don't think it's

possible she's fine in debates who's on deck she's she's actually great in debates i think

she's great in debates like what we call a debate if you actually had a policy debate

she's fucking in the middle of the atlantic she's great at clapbacks i guess is what i'm saying

yeah you know like she's she excels in this field of uh excuse me i'm speaking

yeah uh and and uh that kind of thing let's let's do a recap of the last debate

is actually what chester bennington

says

they'll be together soon

do you do you think we'll get the uh star wars like the ghosts forced ghosts of biden and chester

bennington standing over the uh the presidential debate their their holograms will perform at the

next coachella is what it's gonna be standing room only i tried so hard but in the end they

made me stop running for president

are we sure that joe biden is in chester bennington like somehow reincarnated or something

jester bennington does sound like a made-up name that joe biden would say he went to high school

with right yeah just yeah corn pop yeah exactly

Wow, this is huge.

Maybe, Jodorowsky, we need some sort of Chester Bennington Biden Photoshop situation.

Chester Bidenington.

What else is happening in the world, folks?

Do we want to get into these shirtless Mets?

Darren, we wanted to get Rob's take.

Rob, can you please explain this to the audience first?

Sorry, Darren, explain the backstory here.

Well, a few years ago, the New York Mets started a trend of when they would get a walk-off base hit,

which if you don't know baseball is, the game's going on, and you get to the end of it, the game is tied.

If you score a run, the home team scores a run, the game stops instantly, and they win.

So if that happens, there's usually a celebration.

The guys start chomping around, mobbing each other.

Well, the Mets started a thing.

They're during this event of mobbing each other.

They would rip the hero's shirt off, the shirt hero guy who got the big hit.

So they ripped his shirt off.

So this happened yesterday, and one of the guys, a youngish guy, he's like 24, got his shirt ripped off.

And we wanted to get Rob's reaction to that.

And then we started thinking maybe we'll see his reaction to these other shirt ripping events.

Yeah, I'm dropping links.

So the first one is the Conforto.

And then the second link is Pete Alonso.

And then let me find the last night's.

Yeah.

Well, let's start with last night.

So we go.

Hold on.

We see what started this all.

Getting that one.

I still vote for Conforto.

I'm not gay.

So disclaimer.

But I think Conforto has the best body.

All right.

So this is in reverse chronological order.

Open the newest link first, Rob.

Okay.

So here's number one.

I forgot one important detail.

Oh, go ahead.

Well, you'll see it on the screen.

He's got a Hebrew tattoo.

Okay.

This is the guy last night.

This is after it's settled down now, and they're interviewing him.

It's hard to see what his face looks like.

What's his name?

Mark Vientos.

Okay.

I would say a mild thrash.

I expected more definition in his chest, to be honest.

When the shirt came off, I was a little surprised.

I mean, his whole game is like power.

He just hits bombs.

So I thought he'd be ripped, you know?

Yeah.

I guess he has a right arm.

He has more of like a swimmer's build.

But he has a cute face.

Cute face.

What do you think of the nips?

Disappointing, honestly.

Oh, well, to be fair, it's like it's also not a fair representation because it could be cold.

He's sweaty.

So they could be like.

You know, it's not.

Oh, 100%.

We need them at rest for me to get.

Okay.

Oh, wait.

Here's another.

Oh, you know, see, if you showed me this.

If you showed me this photo that I just pulled up, I would.

Oh, the same day.

It's.

Yeah.

Right.

It's like all his energy has been expended.

You know, the nips look much better here.

It depends.

So it's hard to judge.

But no.

Yeah, I would absolutely.

I would respond to his grinder solicitation.

I'll put it that way.

Rob, what if what if we watch it in motion like you can see the full glory?

Oh, yeah.

Watch the clip.

If you could if you could pull up the clip, that would be great.

That would be the.

If you have it there and go ahead, I'll start looking.

MLB.

Okay.

And then so next, who's this guy?

Well, while you're looking.

This is Pete Alonzo.

This is from a few years ago.

So he was probably in his mid 20s at this point.

He is an epic home run hitter.

They call him the polar bear.

Yeah.

Not my kind of guy.

Not my kind of definitely a bear.

And he's also more of an otter than a bear.

Yeah.

I would say, Sid.

He's from Florida.

He's like a lovable version of a Florida douchebag.

I would say both of them so far are actually from Florida.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

So I would pass on him.

And I would add that this is the type of physical appearance of a person that I get the most

solicitation.

Oh, wow.

Where I'm like, no, sorry, not my type.

Have you ever gotten a solicitation from literally Pete Alonzo?

I might have.

I just know it was him.

I'll pay attention.

Rob, pimp yourself out.

So me and Darren could get season tickets.

And then who's this guy?

This is the first one.

This is Michael Conforto.

This is Darren.

You said 2019.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

What do you think?

He's sort of like, I thought maybe halfway between the other two.

This is good.

Yeah.

This?

OK.

Here he's your favorite.

Yeah.

I like the nipples.

Good nipples.

Good chest.

Good overall torso face.

Yeah.

Well, let's see some of these.

He looks like he acted in sitcoms when he was a teenager.

He has that face.

Yeah.

That's like he looked like he was cuter when he was younger.

But he's a lot when he was on Growing Pains as the neighbor.

Yeah.

So I would say the first guy was my favorite.

OK.

Oh, Viento.

okay yeah so i think darren has oh you found the video okay let's see there's an ad so uh you want

to oh no no ad what no sound oh there it is the sound the sound will probably be

this is how we're gonna get a copyright strike problem we're now gonna see him

have his shirt ripped off in motion get ready for it okay oh no they cut they cut where the

right so oh i like that and the the photo didn't display his best feature which is

clearly his backside oh backside look at that look at that trunk that he's carrying around

all right let me cut the video before we oh he's getting doused with liquid oh i'm enjoying that

all right all right

a drop get it this met season has something for everybody it's true

yeah they're very lgbt friendly it's the uh well one thing i will say against that is that they

their pride uh accoutrement let's say was very ugly this year oh i was happy to the one thing

i will cave on on lgbt messaging and this stupid pride stuff i will buy mets gear that is pride to

be an ally because i love the mets so much and in the past a lot of it has looked good

it was garbage it was look i was very turned off by it i don't remember what it looked like

it was just bland and like like a little token rainbow stuff i want a full-on like a blue mets

jersey like traditional not traditional but the alternate mets jersey with like the letters have

the rainbow styling i would buy the shit out of that or like maybe a shirt where it's like

mr med and bondage gear oh why does everything gay have to be bonded i don't know i don't know

it's just what came to my mind how about mr met and another mr met uh like kind of let themselves

go but they really like quilting and like you know crafts and stuff they've retired together

to vermont yes also it could be mr matt ms matt and the philippinatic taking taking a triple uh

you know oh that exists i'm sure you could find that right now that photoshop has been

done yeah there were phillies fans that made like uh you know mr met getting

cucked in the corner while he fucks mrs met

but i don't want that thing if you like ass mrs met has asked for days yeah well the woman

playing mrs met at the stadium uh she's they've got cakes i don't know who it is it might even be

a guy who knows i assumed i was just part of the costume and that was an actual ass i mean maybe

it to me it looks like just below the head it looks just like a person wearing a mets uniform

it doesn't look like a person wearing a mets uniform

it doesn't look like a person wearing a mets uniform it doesn't look like a person wearing a mets uniform

rob cue up some mrs met shots let's i have just the thing to queue up they just posted this on

their instagram yeah which was so funny do you that that's not a real ass mr met doesn't have

ass no that's real you think so it might not be but this is not it actually looks different than

i remember i feel like there was a they had a 10 like a body woman in that suit or a man this might

be a different person yeah yeah yeah but it looks real it looks like someone that's got a

little muffin top a little bit i just in my mind i just assumed it was all padding but i guess maybe

not no i'm not saying you're wrong i'm just saying my first instinct would be that's someone with a

lot of lower body uh yeah one thing that i think is a little sexist is that they sung down the

mrs met twitter account and now the mr met twitter account the title of it is mr and mrs met so now

they're sharing an account i think this looks like instagram well this is instagram but it wasn't

the mr met instagram all of their social stuff is now under mr matt it's sexism well they didn't

even have a number yeah but she's the star she's the freaking star now you're just saying too many

people were sending come tribute pictures to the account so they had to close it

rob i think i think they're the most wholesome looking mascots i just i don't know what it is

about this baseball face and like the eyes it's it's just perfect i love it so much

the original mr med if you want to be horrified oh yeah i know i've seen that they're very creepy

yeah we'll show that in a sec oh here's here's a little this you know like i have to say i'm usually

like darren very cynical about pride pandering but seeing a baseball team do it seeing something

like relatively community-based it really worked it like this worked for me big time i was like yes

this is beautiful that shirt i kind of like the i like the logo i don't like the new york is love

that's kind of cheesy

statement but i like the design of the shirt oh i like this little baseball uh

pride yeah that's cool it's just that i'd like something specific to the mets i don't really

much want to wear generic baseball shirt yeah so i'm like kind of including the yankees

by proxy

oh talking about hello how much did did grimace get forgotten now because like oh it was like

winning because of grimace haha and now we just keep fucking winning every day so it's like oh

well maybe the omg has taken over but i still have my grimace shirt and i was wearing it last night

it was very fitting and what about hawk tua the hawk tua they're like 14 and six and she threw

the ball all right uh omg rob is one of the players on the team uh you like one of the lesser

players like a utility infielder he he recorded a song a single and it blew up so they they now

it's the song is called omg

and they just they have this like like sign of omg whenever someone hits a home where they take

a picture with it it's very cute oh

this is the original mr matt nightmare fuel that's the original that's the other one was

the second dandy yeah the other one was the second one which is oh oh my god this guy

looks like a guy with a tumor

he's very happy

and the normal human hands that's the freakiest you're right that's what it is

going yeah mr matt is this should not be in the uncanny valley should be like all fantasy

yeah yeah like even his like his shoes are exaggerated right modern time yeah the ass

cheeks don't bring me back to like oh there's a guy in the suit that's really strange

i love it that's cool that's such a nice art art deco style mr matt

that's a tattoo i would get if i if i was ever gonna get a tattoo like something like that cute

but makes a statement about something i love well rob's got that uh thai 13 year old in his

bedroom locked up he could give you a tattoo come on now come on now free tattoos for life

if you release him from his captivity yeah he'll just hook you up with bai ling

rob

doesn't want anything by he's made his choice i don't like i don't mind the gentlemen who are by

oh okay just not actively while you're with them yeah yeah you don't tolerate don't tolerate that

shit the right mmf situation i would consider what does that mean well yeah paint that scenario

for are you interacting with the woman or is she like you you were doing the guy you're both doing

the guy it would probably it would lead more uh to the

ladder oh but you'd cave in and like lick her puss or something uh not that but other stuff yes

you'd play with the boobs rob is a boob yeah yeah yeah would you fuck her though

uh just don't like vagina i mean like yeah i'm not into it but let her go down on you

yeah yeah that's just the mouth that's yeah yeah uh and like uh the fucking girl i don't know it

would depend on what the vibe is like if we're all like i don't know i don't know i don't know

really into it and it's hot the vibe all right let me paint the vibe the vibe is this is your

first time visiting noah in a few years and she's really happy to see you no i think i would not be

able to have yeah i can't have sex with her because she had at this point wait you didn't have sex with

no like i could have sex with her at a certain point when i was you know i dragged her as a kid

or even then i probably couldn't i was probably lying to myself i was about to ask you do you

just like misreading friendship signals for uh passion like you know some sort of sexual so you

think like when it came time to do the thing you would have backed out if she had said somehow had

had a weak moment and said yes we can have sex yeah well i've had sex with a woman no i'm saying

you i am not a gold star gay and it did not go well i didn't mean you never had so i know you

i already knew who you had sex with and all that but like you did for the show you think if noah

would have caved you think you would have gone through it and come to completion

if i'm if i'm answering like completely honestly honestly like let's say at the time that i was

attracted to her if she was like yeah let's do it i have a feeling i would be so anxious that i

wouldn't have even been able to get an erection like it would have been so i would have had a

heart attack that makes sense and i will say also not just from a gay perspective but i had

uh when i was much younger i had

friendzone situation that eventually i i wasn't even i mixed i make i was gonna say wore her down

but it makes it sound like i was like a pickup artist trying to like groom her it wasn't nothing

like that like i was legitimately okay with just being a friend but it organically it somehow i

got off the friendzone track and she became interested in me and it was a lot of it was a

lot of pressure to perform like i felt like yeah i have to now live up to this ideal of now she's

finally fell in love with you and all that worth it yeah yeah i can really that's a lot of anxiety

there's a lot of that in with the hookups too i feel like that was something it's something to

overcome in the first few minutes of something like that where you're just like oh this person

expects me to perform i need to like yeah you know like it's like it's like well wait hold on

this isn't a job it's is it do you think that's tougher for the top or the bottom i'm guessing

for the top because you have to maintain yeah absolutely yeah yeah

and that's exactly it but there's a performance aspect i'm sorry rob there's a performance aspect

to being the bottom too though like you know you they lay there like a dead fish you know you know

you're not gonna really enjoy it as much i might maybe i'm wrong that's your kink right uh you like

there is a huge performance aspect too because you have to be relaxed because you have to relax

your sphincter to allow entry you know you have to be relaxed well that's more anxious and tight

tactile sense but i meant like performance art being into it like you know showing your

do you not care about that no i really care about it okay

i just think about i don't know if you guys have ever seen the movie the killing of a sacred deer

with colin farrell and nicole kidman it's a your ghost lanthimos movie

uh so they play a married couple and their kink is that she just lays there pretends to be dead

while he does stuff to her

so that's what i think about so it is somebody's into it clearly

like a pleasant movie oh his movies are always really fucking weird and that one is especially

it's fucking great

highly recommended all of his stuff highly recommended but that is high on the list check it

out

well um let's see what else we got going on

um

i got nothing anybody do anything fun this week

i'm just by myself my wife has gone into france for two weeks so i'm just living the bachelor life

which means like just doing pretty much the same stuff that i normally do but just less

of a chance of having sex rolling roaster yeah i did that yesterday oh really yes today for lunch

yeah um sid what were the two things uh your wife told you not to do well

she was out oh don't eat don't fuck anyone else and don't have any mexican food

because mexican food is her favorite she doesn't want me having her favorite food while she's not

around you couldn't you just have it again sure but is that like cheating i guess part of it is

just like because when we're together and we're deciding what food to order she always wants

mexican food so i veto it quite often so in her mind it would be unfair for me to then wait till

she's gone and have it by myself okay because then like how dare i ever veto honestly this

makes perfect sense to me yeah honestly now that i haven't now that i asked i feel like i buried

the lead because he also said don't fuck anybody else like why do you have to say that i i just

just to make sure it's covered just so i don't have the loophole of well you didn't tell me not

to i guess dusty rose muffler asked what if the woman was sarah j what if sarah j knocked

up on you

on your door no that was for you rob that question he posted about the mms close enough

no but she's like below the neck she's very that's the part that rob really cares about

she's still a woman there uh sarah j i would not be into sarah j at all oh at all i think she has

a feminine body doesn't she let me she's got implants so that's a deal breaker oh i see but

she's still womanly though i can't say sure but she's not my type just the face is just

her

horrendous but like joe camel yeah the rest of it she's a very attractive woman triple h side by

side oh my god or maybe duff mccagan do you get a little definitely duff mccagan i see it

muff mccagan is that is anyone ever called is that the episode title to be like the type of

woman that i would be attracted to would have to be like a lee like i almost don't want to say it

i'm sorry but like i'm making no

a what like a mega fox ultra feminine yeah but like like like a barbie doll-esque

why do you think that is because you want something so different from the masculine

ethos that you have to you know yeah like something like yeah like ultra ultra feminine

i guess would be okay i think sarah j is very feminine she's just not she doesn't have a nice

face yeah i'm sorry she does the face is really important the face the face would be really

important to me when you see her on the screen she's not a nice face she's not a nice face she's

on screen she's like she has a very woman aura you know that's why she's so popular i honestly

don't think i've ever watched this yeah oh no oh my god well she's this is like she's age and also

that she's she's like making a face they caught her in a video still there uh they just caught

her looking like herself yeah well no it's worse than her the curl come on that's this switch this

here oh this is the woman you could see on the train she's not yeah i was about to say she looks

like a fucking junior high school crossing guard that you'd see on the train yeah i was about to say

she's not yeah i was about to say she looks like a fucking junior high school crossing guard that you'd

see in like fucking bensonhurst i want like like smaller boobs like like like a b or c cut like

you want her built like a dude no no i don't want her built like a dude but i don't want d like i

don't want like insanely big breasts but that is a barbie doll though barbie doll proportions are

like giant tits and no waist you said you want a barbie but you mean like facial doesn't have

massive tits right like she has implants i think she has

like maybe one degree smaller i guess proportional though you just want to be somewhere that mgk has

been that's all it is that's up rob you want to taste it i guess you want to get his back wash

yeah see like i don't even think about this that often i wouldn't even be able to describe it

because i'm not well now looking at this and be like no i don't want to have sex with megan pop

yeah no i don't even want to have sex with me no this is too much i'll do the dirty work for this

no her face her face is really hot her face is definitely the

type of uh uh female features she looks like the winner of last season of canada's drag race

i will say she's more attractive i think venus probably got plastic surgery to look like megan

fox but that's what i see when i look at her yeah she was more attractive 10 years ago 15 years ago

i could say that weren't we all yeah but it's not from aging well no i would say no i would

say i'm more attractive now i think you're the exception

i was very slovenly 10 15 years ago i was in a bit of a rut 15 years

specifically i was quite a depressive rut same yeah with me i can't make heads or tails of it

i could be in a depressive rut now 15 years ago maybe it was when it was or

maybe this whole time i don't know who knows but you look exactly the same yeah

that's what i'm saying like hey it's not a rut it's just a depressive valley that you live in

the look

i bought real estate in the rut

see sarah j i don't think really that's a funny joke i don't think she really looks like triple

h her nose the nose is the commonality there yeah but she i i really like the duff mckagan was the

good do you think she just got the big implants to sort of draw the eye away from the nose yeah

the porn thing happened after yeah oh well it

these now yeah but now they're closer to her nose so maybe people are looking there more

everything is sagging the nose is drooping down as are the boobs yeah do they ever and i don't

dusty could probably answer this i i've i've maybe seen one clip of sarah j in my life uh actually

fucking like do they allude to the fact that she's butt ugly or is like is that a fetish thing like

like call her ugly names and stuff

or is it just more like couples porn and you're just not supposed to pay attention to to that

i'm wondering seems like a a niche thing that she could use you know what i mean in a scene but

she seems famous enough that she doesn't need to though at this point but maybe past like her early

work i don't even know is she still working is she still active no clue every time we talk about

sarah j it's because dusty brings her up right but i get very curious about the whole sarah j world

and then 45 minutes after the show's over i'm like i forget completely all about her existence

what are we talking about that's a great question empty robot

we're talking about the new single from empty robot records which is

no but just kidding we don't we're not gonna plug your shit don't say it

dusty says she does more milf porn and stepmom

that's like 90 of the market now i feel like yeah though at least she is that look and age

whereas i feel a lot of it is just like oh this actress is in her late 20s so that means she's

got to be a milf now that's a good point and that she also has the the benefit of being like

looking like somebody's mom random mom yeah but with the talent of a porn actress you know

she could pull it off allegedly i can't vouch for the talent that's well i'm assuming i mean if if

listen

if she got that face and she's that popular she has to be good right right i mean i don't know

but i guess that's true i guess that's true there must be something there a fair assumption yeah

rob will you do a book report will you watch some sarah j porn and report back next week on

what you think her strengths weaknesses i guess if you give me some scenes with hot guys maybe

some latino men i'm not giving you anything you're figuring it out you gotta do the leg work

who are the men in porn in straight porn yeah nowadays just look at the google her and see if

she did like a mandingo video or something i mean that's a real guy oh my god empty robot records

with a fucking grim ass question jesus christ what do you think of all the porn stars who take their

life jesus i'm against it i don't yeah is this tying back to chester bennington somehow is that

what we're doing he did take his life right he did take his life right he did take his life right

that was how he passed i believe so yes um obviously i think it's a very rough business

yeah it's very tough and uh i think what's uh the most fucked up about it is you know the

performers are kind of like the last to get paid too you know like everyone kind of makes money

off their bodies except for them which is in turn why i'm a big proponent of the modern kind of

only fans culture

because at least the creators are getting the earnings here well there are there is an epidemic

now of like the same dynamic taking over only fans where some guy will establish the only fans

for the woman and then like monitor the proceeds and stuff like i don't know if that happened i'm

talking because of the heterosexual version but it's probably sure it happens in the right world

couple accounts yes uh but you're saying well but no matter what type of paradigm

you come up with for sex

work, there's going to be someone who steps in

as the middleman and exploits

the worker.

A digital pit, if you will.

And I am

I think all sex work

consensual sex work, I should say,

should be legal.

That way you wouldn't have to go to Thailand.

You just get your rocks

off here.

You get your rocks

off here. There's websites

Roll and Roaster

dot com.

Get your rocks off. That's the thing you love the most.

Delicious roast beef.

I don't know what the straight escort

websites are, but I can tell you

the gay one.

Okay, what are they?

You have a discount code?

Yeah.

Promo code Rob.

Well, I guess I don't want YouTube

to pick up that.

Oh, I see.

But if you search for the word rent

next to it,

you put the word men.

Ah, boy.

Empty road.

He got in trouble.

Well, no rent boy got shut down

by the feds because they were doing

you know, what's interesting is like they

I think they like the charges

against them may have to try

like the people they were charged. They didn't really

they just wanted to close the website

because it was being operated in New York

City, I guess.

And they just the Bloomberg

or whoever shut it down at the time.

Right.

Didn't want that.

And this new site popped up.

And I believe that the site

is operated overseas.

So it's a different jurisdiction.

That's I don't know.

And there's no prices on the site.

You have to negotiate that one on one.

That's what I find out. You're Jewish.

Yeah.

I just haggle down the rent boy.

Site owner's name.

Lyle Schmertz burglar.

Oh, no, no.

He's it all comes back.

Schmertz.

Whoo.

All right.

I guess we talk about our.

Playlist picks.

I want to answer this important question for quick comment.

Is Rob a fan of Johnny Sins?

No, he is not my type.

Sorry. Who is that?

A porn star.

This is the Brazzers or something.

Yeah.

You're straight.

Straight.

Okay.

He's like the good guy for porn now.

Like the the the the viral.

Well, I shouldn't say viral.

Probably the most trending, well-known male porn star.

I would say from what I read and stuff.

Very out of the porn world, just like the Linkin Park world.

Let's talk about our Spotify picks every week.

We each pick a song.

Throw it on a playlist.

For you to listen to.

Mm hmm.

And.

Look it up, it's the RPO live cast music break.

And.

We have two full days of music on there.

So.

Throw it on, put it on shuffle.

Maybe you'll find something you like.

I mean, you don't even have to put it on shuffle.

It's right.

It's not like it's all the same artist anyway.

It's already pretty much shuffled.

It's a good point.

The artist that I picked was days of the new.

Oh, my God.

The late nineties, baby.

Touch, peel and stand is the song.

Now you might be wondering, why am I?

Picking a obscure late nineties rock radio hit.

And that's because I've been looking up for fun.

I found a user on Apple Music who created playlists

of the Billboard Top 100 active rock songs.

Oh, my God. Years.

So there's like one for like 96, like June 96 or one for like this one was 98.

And the real fun like I'll say, I usually end up.

Skipping like the first five or six songs because it's songs you would hear.

Yeah.

At nausea, you know, like like a Foo Fighters song like ever long.

I don't need to hear that again. Yes.

But then once we get to like 20,

that's when the fun really starts because it's like, Oh, my God,

I haven't heard this song in so long.

And such was the case with this days of the new song.

Not that I haven't heard it like I'm sure I have heard it recently,

but it's been long enough where I was like, My God, this is such an earworm.

And all week I've just been singing to myself.

Well, I finally found a reason.

I don't need an excuse.

I got that time on my hands.

Your ears are the ones to abuse.

Yeah, that's right.

Any other bands that you haven't thought of in 20 years

that popped up that you want to shout out?

Answer songs.

Well, Marcy Playground. Oh, the.

It's a candy.

Oh, no, it's been long enough

where I like I gave it a, you know, a fresh listen.

And it's just like this song is 45 seconds long.

It's just the same hook.

And it's far over and over.

How about some edema?

Oh, you like them?

I see. I did come up.

There was like a 2003 playlist.

It's so crazy that how active rock completely changed post 9-11

because it'll be like edema.

Then the strokes, then like cold, then the white stripe.

You know, like you could see the genre shift happening.

Harvey Danger.

Oh, I liked Harvey Danger.

They I like that one song. Yeah, bad.

Verve Pipe.

You get a little verve pipe, a little freshness.

I had to skip that because that popped up on Sirius XM this week

while I was driving and God damn, that song sucks.

It was.

It was a huge fucking hit.

It's awful.

There's so many bad one hit wonder bands.

Trapped.

Oh, like that, that I have.

But talking about days of the new just reminds me,

and I probably told the story on the show before,

but the band that they were in after days of the new was called Tantric,

if I'm not mistaken, correct?

So that band was in my office to do a bunch of radio interviews.

And I was in the bathroom.

I'm taking a massive shit.

And then they all walk in like to take a bathroom break

and all audibly reacted to the stink that I was causing.

And it made me so fucking happy because I knew exactly who it was.

And I hate their music.

And it was fucking retribution.

They caused the stink in your ears and you guys think in their nose.

Exactly right.

Two other songs.

Apollo 440 Stop the Rock.

Remember that song? Stop the rock.

Can't stop. I.

Rock. That was on the active rock charts.

Yeah.

They tried to make that a thing again when Barack Obama was running for president.

Oh, my God.

A rock.

This is it.

And then what other one?

Power Man 5000 Nobody's Real.

That brought me back to our old podcast

because that was the intro to our old radio show for me and Darren.

Which really worked for their label for a little bit.

Yeah. After they were on their way down.

I worked with they jumped the shark.

Yeah. Yeah.

Darren, what was your pick?

I picked the Super Bowl shuffle by the Chicago Bears of 1985

because it's the first week of football season.

I was in a football mood.

And you got some Walter Payton in there.

You got the refrigerator, Perry.

It's just a bunch of football players on the Chicago Bears team.

Rapping.

Jim McMahon.

Apparently, Jim McMahon.

I will Google this.

Jim McMahon and Walter Payton both refused.

Both refused to do this because they were not because they were against the idea of releasing a song.

But they said, guys, we should not do this during the season.

Like, it's a jinx.

Yeah. What if we well, not so much a jinx, but it'll look very embarrassing if we lose.

So let's not do this.

But this I guess the team was insistent.

Like the people who are trying to put this together.

We have to do this now.

We have to.

It's going to be such a phenomenon.

And then they recorded their bits and threw them in.

Yeah.

It's one of the most memorable, terrible songs ever made, I would say.

Eternally parodied.

Yeah.

I remember SNL did one where they had all the guys from the NFL who don't speak English doing a Super Bowl type of shuffle.

It was like Ali Haji Sheik.

Okay.

And he was like, I kicked the ball.

I tried to kick.

I named Raul.

People couldn't speak English doing rap.

Rob could recreate that.

Now with all his various accent work.

Oh, yeah.

Very timely.

With pleasure.

All right, folks.

That's the show.

Of course.

I didn't.

You want a little more shit.

Jesus Christ.

Disrespectful.

Shutter to Think is a band from the D.C.

Virginia area from like the late 80s, early 90s, I'd say was their heyday mid 90s.

And this isn't my favorite song of theirs.

But it's the one that pops into my head the most often.

It's called The Man Who Rolls.

It is one of their heavier songs.

And they're not they weren't really a heavy band.

They were sort of like post-punk kind of melodic kind of stuff.

But it's a really good song still, even though it's not the best.

It's up there.

It's good.

And it's Shutter to Think.

That's that's that's all I got.

Right now.

My apologies.

I confused your tantric story for you.

Oh, sorry.

No, I wouldn't.

Next week, I'll pick a tantric song for the play.

And of course, if you want yourself more live guests or just to show us a little bit of support.

This is a free podcast.

We would always appreciate it.

We set up our Patreon.

Patreon.com slash RIP a live guest.

And you can contribute as much as you want.

Five bucks a month to get access to our bonus episodes.

We have four or five years of bonus episodes.

Lots of fun stuff in the archive.

And including perhaps our greatest.

Feed yet.

We watched Hogan knows best.

Oh, my God.

Watched a few episodes, including one where he tried to get to know his Jewish neighbors because he moved into a Hasidic neighborhood.

It seemed like it was one of the weirdest things we've ever seen.

Yeah.

Of course, every week, Sid has a recommendation on what to watch on television with his column TV talk.

And our most recent bonus episode is we did a listen along.

We listened to the entire Macho Man rap song.

Macho Man rap album.

Be a man.

And gave our live reactions to something that I'd never listened to all the way through.

It was quite an experience.

And I think you would enjoy it.

And other previous bonus episodes is there's a episode where we talk about trendy food in Belarus.

Really gross.

Slash beverage.

Yeah.

And.

Stegma buildup.

Very gross story about Stegma buildup.

But I can't believe that is the show.

Yeah.

And.

And we also recently did a watch along of Danzig's very, very not fresh horror movie that came out last year.

Well, it came out fucking five years ago.

Yeah.

Finally available to stream.

You can look that up.

That's listed as D.R.I.T.H.V.

Watch along.

I didn't want to write out the full thing because I assumed Danzig Googles himself.

I didn't want it to come up.

All right.

Did you really do that?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Because it's like, what's the name of the movie?

Death Rider in the House of Vampires.

Yeah.

There we go.

See?

Yeah.

That's the acronym.

So that's.

You just wanted to know to make sure you spelled it right.

RIP a live cast.

Show us your support.

And if you drop a $10 donation a month, you're a top live cast fan of the week.

Get a shout out at the end of the show, which is right now.

How are we doing the shout outs, folks?

Darren, do you have any ideas?

How about your Dick Cheney giving an endorsement to each of these people?

Oh, my God.

I want to endorse Eric and Benjamin because they're not Trump fans.

I want to endorse Dan R. It's because he shot his neighbor once.

And Lando Danks.

Right.

He doesn't think anyone in their community deserve any rights.

So they're cool with me.

Corey and Scotty H., you seem all right.

I endorse you.

Aaron.

Aaron, you seem white.

I'll endorse you.

Wow.

Rob gave Troke a hickey.

I don't endorse that.

I don't.

I don't endorse any physical touch.

Douglas, who are you?

Leveson.

Who are you?

I'm the former president of the United States.

I'm Dick Cheney.

True.

Slinkys.

Slinkys sound too fun.

I don't like that.

And Jander, not very American.

Get some secret service on that guy.

Randy Bled.

Sound like you've been compromised by the Russians.

All right.

That's a very good Russian accent.

Yeah.

I like that.

No matter what voice you do, to say that word, you always go back to your normal voice

and pronunciation.

Randy Bled.

Yeah.

See?

Randy, I think Dick Cheney spoke plenty of Russian back in the day.

So who knows?

Okay.

Folks, that's our show.

Thank you for tuning in.

We'll be back next week.

Until then, we love you.

We kiss you.

Bye.