Ephesians 5:21-6:15

Calvary Church is dedicated to doctrine and we want you to experience the life change that comes

from knowing God's Word and applying it to your life. So we explain the Bible verse by verse,

every chapter, every book. This is Expound. Turn in your Bibles, please, to the book of Ephesians.

We're working our way through there. We're toward the end and we're in chapter 5 and on into chapter 6 this evening, God willing.

The Apostle Paul in this book talks about walking with God. In chapter 4, verse 1, he says that we should be

walking with God.

We're walking worthy of the Lord. And we explain that that means that our lives should weigh as much as our profession.

We claim to be Christians. Our lives should add to the weight of that claim. So then he describes what it means to walk

worthy. He says that we should walk in humility.

In his words, in lowliness of mind, preferring others. He then says that we should walk in unity

because there's one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one body of Christ. He then explains that we should

walk with variety because there are many gifts in the same body. That when Jesus died on the cross,

he descended,

he ascended into the lower parts of the earth. Then he ascended. And when he ascended, he gave gifts to men. And he lists some of the gifts in the body of Christ. Then he says that we should walk in purity, all in chapter 4. Walk in purity, not as the other Gentiles walked, but we should walk completely different in the new man, as he describes it. Not like the old manner of life, but with new values, new standards.

Then he says that we should walk in charity, in love, preferring one another, loving one another. Then he says that we should walk in sanctity, we should walk in the light, as he is in the light. And then he says we should walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil.

So we should walk circumspectly or carefully, with precision. Be very careful where you walk and how you walk. So all of those things put together give us the meaning of what he began with in chapter 4. And that is a walk that is worthy. So that's chapter 4 and part of chapter 5.

Now he's going to, in chapter 5, I should open my Bible actually.

Beginning in verse 21, that's where I left you hanging last week.

We should walk domestically. That is, our spiritual walk should be shown in our relationship with our family, our wife, our husband, our children, our parents, etc.

So all of these things speak to what it is to walk worthy of the Lord.

But you know, as we were worshiping, I had a thought. And that is, we talk about what it means to have a walk with the Lord and you and I should walk worthy and walk with him.

But the great truth, really, before that, is that God desires to walk with us.

The only reason we can have a relationship with him and walk with him is because he draws near.

He draws near to us and desires a relationship, a walk with his creation.

Don't you love Genesis where it says, God came walking in the garden in the cool of the day.

And it sounds like he made a regular practice of wanting to take a walk with Adam and Eve.

Walk with his creation.

In the best part of the day, when it's cool.

Before the sun and the humidity made everything miserable.

It's cool.

It's fresh.

Let's take a walk together.

And then I've always loved the story in Luke 24, how that Jesus came walking on the road to Emmaus with two of his disciples.

And as he was walking with them and fellowshipping with them and talking with them, they didn't recognize him.

And I feel like that is my life so often.

God is with me and he's walking with me and I don't recognize it.

I don't recognize him.

I just sort of launch into my conversations and my life and my diatribe and it's the Lord walking with us.

And then when Jesus left in that beautiful scene in Luke 24, the disciples turned to each other and said,

Did not our hearts burn within us as he walked with us and spoke to us along the way?

And it's my prayer that as we gather for these Bible studies that you and I will walk away saying,

Didn't our hearts burn tonight as the Lord spoke that message, that word of encouragement, that exhortation, that warning to me?

Now you have a walk with the Lord.

I have a walk with the Lord.

And some of you, because of difficulty, I'm reading all these difficulties, all these problems, these challenges in these prayer requests.

Some of you are drawing near to the Lord.

Now, because of the difficulties in your life, and that's good.

That's the right move.

Because the Bible says if you draw near to him, he will draw near to you.

You make that overture and he's all over that.

But now be careful.

When you get relief from some of those problems and challenges and the Lord answers your prayer and life is good again,

And then you think, well, I don't need to walk as close anymore.

I don't need to fellowship as much as often.

I don't need that.

I know it's a once in a while.

There's always going to be another one.

That you keep your priorities of seeking him and walking with him and drawing near to him.

Every chance you get.

We make that a priority.

Well, I sort of left you hanging.

As I mentioned last week, I mentioned to you last week, I kind of gave a quote.

It was a Howard Hendricks quote.

Howard Hendricks, who was a great teacher at Dallas Theological Seminary, a great preacher of the word.

He used to say, if your Christianity doesn't work at home, it doesn't work.

So don't export it.

So what?

What Paul does here in the walk of the believer is he takes it into the most personal relationships, the home life, marriage, children, and then the workplace, those who are bosses with their employees, those who are employees with their bosses, and shows how the walk ought to look.

So he gets very domestic here.

I mentioned to you last week that most of the books that I have read on marriage and family over the years, from a biblical perspective, most of them tend, when they get to Ephesians, they tend to begin with the teaching on the family in verse 22.

As Paul talks about wives and then husbands, etc.

That's where they begin.

In my view, that's a mistake.

It's a mistake contextually and linguistically, and I want to explain that.

You see, I believe that this whole teaching of walking domestically in our home life does not begin in verse 22, but begins a verse before that in verse 21.

Verse 21 is a transitional verse that introduces a topic of submission.

And then.

He gives four examples of what that submission should look like.

So in verse 21, he says, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

We notice something that submission is not one sided, but it is to be mutual.

Every one of us is to submit in some form with someone.

It is to be some type of role.

And why is that important?

Because it says in verse 22 where again, most teaching begins, most series begin,

wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

Now here's what I want you to know about verse 22.

You see the word submit in verse 22, it's not in the Greek.

It's not in the original.

it should be italicized like all the other words that aren't in the original language. However,

it is not, and here's why. The translators believed because the verse actually just says,

wives to your own husbands as to the Lord. They thought, well, we need to supply a verb

that is not supplied, but it obviously belongs here because down in verse 24, just as the church

is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything. That's the crux of

his teaching to wives, to be subject. So they borrowed the word from verse 21 and stuck it in

verse 22. And it's the word I've told you about in the past, though I don't expect you to remember

these words. I mean,

we don't walk around speaking Greek to one another, but the word is hupotasso. And here

it's hupotasso minoi. And the idea of subjection or submission is to one another. And then in

verse 22, it is not in the original. It's only supplied by the translators. But here's what I

want you to get this. He says, submit to one another. And then he gives four.

Now,

he's got one, not just to wives, but four examples of submission. And I say that especially to men

because some men have only memorized as their life verse the 22nd verse of chapter 5. Wives,

submit to your husbands. They know it. They quote it. They know it in several translations.

Cross-referenced it.

And though it does imply that wives should submit because the word be subject to your own

husbands is there, it is only the first of four examples of submission. Yes, wives are to submit

to their own husbands, but husbands, since it says submitting to one another, have also a role

of submission. Some men take umbrage to that. What do you mean, men? I've not heard this before.

This is a new teaching. No, it's not. That's why I said linguistically and contextually, it needs to

begin in verse 21. That's the transitional verse. So, wives to your own husbands, and then husbands

to your wives in this capacity. Love your wives as Christ loved the church. You say, well, it didn't

say submit. Right.

Wouldn't you agree that sacrificing your life to the point of death is pretty submissive?

So, the husband is to submit in his role by loving his wife supremely, sacrificially.

Then, children are to submit to their parents by obeying them. Fathers are to submit in the role by

exasperating their children, et cetera, et cetera, all the way down. There are examples of the

submission that is introduced in verse 21. So, wives, let's just take it as it is read. It is

implied. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. You remember back in Genesis 3?

You know, we know John 3.16. Do you know Genesis 3.16?

Genesis 3.16, after the fall, God says to the woman, your desire shall be for your husband, and

his desire will be to rule over you. That word desire to be for your own husband means desire to

maintain control over. That there's going to be a war between the genders. That she's going to be a

woman. She's going to want to be in control, and the husband is going to want to be in control. It's the

same word used a chapter later when God spoke of sin to Cain, who killed his brother. He said, sin's

desire is for you, but you must rule over it. So, the problems, the tension began immediately after the

fall.

And I think we're going to get this as we go through this. Sometimes marriage can become a

duel, and it's not meant, God never intended it to be a duel. So, we must all submit in our roles to

one another. Wives to be subject, husbands to love as Christ loved the church, etc. Instead of it being

a duel, it's better if it's a duet.

One complimenting the other. Husbands loving their wives like Christ loved the church. Because when a

husband loves his wife like Christ loved the church, the woman feels secure in her husband's love for

her. When she is insecure, that's when she doesn't want to submit. She doesn't know what stupid

decision he's going to make to place the family in jeopardy. But when she feels secure in his love,

it's a delight for her to submit. And when she is so sweet and subject and submissive, it's easy for

her husband to love her more. And it becomes not a duel, but a duet. It's a beautiful dance through

life. So, wives, submit to your own husbands, or again, be subject to them. For husband is the head

of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He's the savior of the body. Therefore, just as a

woman is subject to Christ, let wives be to their own husbands in everything. This does not imply

slavery. When a husband is a servant leader, then she feels secure. He is serving her. She sees that.

She feels that. She's secure in that. And she responds. Also, the idea of being subject to your

husband does not imply slavery. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet.

It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet. It's a duet.

It does not imply that the husband is superior to the wife. And a lot of wives are going, well, that's

true. He's not superior to me. And you are right. He's not. Though he is responsible for you.

So, when it talks about the head or the headship, the husband is the head of the wife,

it's not superiority. It's functionality.

it's the function. Every relationship has to have certain roles for that relationship to function

correctly, just like in an employer-employee relationship. Not everybody can be the boss

and call the shots and set the policies. Somebody has to submit to the one who does that.

So in a marriage relationship, the function is that the husband is to be the head.

Does not imply superiority, and here's the text I want to use. In 1 Corinthians chapter 11,

it says, the head of every woman is man, the head of man is Christ,

and the head of Christ is God, that is God the Father. Now, would any Orthodox Christian,

would any evangelical Christian ever dare to say that Jesus is not on the same level as God the

Father? Does that suggest, by reading that text or quoting that text in 1 Corinthians,

1 Corinthians 11, that the Father is the head of Christ? Does that imply that Jesus is inferior

to the Father? Not at all. Jesus said, my Father and I are one. Jesus himself said that he was

equal with God, and the enemies of Christ knew that he was claiming to be equal with God.

But for the sake of divine functionality, the Son surrendered his will to God.

When he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, and he was suffering, and he did not want to go through

the pain of being beaten and crucified and death, he said, if it's possible, let this cup pass from

me. Nevertheless, not my will, but thy will be done. He surrendered, he submitted to the will

of the Father. Though he was equal with God, and the Bible claims that he was equal with God,

for the sake of function, the Father is,

Christ submitted to the Father. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ,

so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything.

Now, women, if that is still bothersome to you,

let this add a little bit of encouragement. If your husband does

make some stupid, dumb decisions, he's going to have to answer to God for it.

The buck will stop with him before the Lord.

So you can kind of take a little bit of relief and stand behind the fact that God

is going to hold him responsible for how he superintended and servant-led the home.

So be subject to your husbands in everything. Husbands,

love your wives just as,

now this is how steep this commandment is,

as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

Whereas the wife is told to be subject to her husband

once by Paul in Ephesians 5,

Paul tells husbands to love their wives two times.

Here, in verse 25, also in verse 28,

so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself.

The word in English, husband,

is a word that means to till the ground or to cultivate.

It's what a farmer would do.

A farmer would cultivate the earth, till the ground,

plant the ground, care for the ground.

In John chapter 15, Jesus said,

I am the vine and my father is the vine dresser.

But the old King James has it right.

I am the true vine.

My father is the vine or is the husbandman.

So the idea of a husbandman or husband

is one who cultivates, tills, works that relationship,

is seeking to bring growth out of it.

So husbands,

cultivators, tillers of the ground of marriage,

love your wives as Christ loved the church

and gave himself for her.

I do believe we need Christians in all segments of society.

And sometimes I hear people say,

we need Christians in politics.

I agree.

Or we need Christians,

we need Christians,

we need Christians in social institutions.

I agree.

Or we need Christians here or there.

I agree with all of that.

But we also need, even more so than any of those,

we need Christian men in the home.

In the home, who will love the home,

love their families, till the ground,

cultivate the ground.

That he might sanctify, verse 26,

and cleanse her.

It's his responsibility with the washing of the water

by the word, teaching her truth.

That he might present her to himself.

That is, the Lord presenting here his church,

that he might present her to himself,

a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle

or any such thing,

but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So, husbands ought to love their own wives

as their own bodies.

He who loves his wives,

loves himself.

Remember when Adam first saw Eve?

He said something that we would probably consider unromantic,

but it said so much.

He goes, this is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

So, Adam was right.

He saw his wife as an extension of himself

because she was.

The Lord formed her from him.

So, likewise, our wives are an extension of us.

We become one flesh.

So, they ought to love their own wives

as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife, loves himself.

For no one ever hated his own flesh,

but nourishes and cherishes it

as the Lord does the church.

We get hungry, we eat.

We see a nice outfit, we'd like it for ourselves.

We take care of ourselves, we take care of our needs.

We go on, we work out, we go on diets and things like that

because we want to take care of ourselves.

Likewise, it extends to one another in the marriage.

For, verse 30, we are members of his body, of his flesh,

and of his bones.

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother

and be joined to his wife.

He's quoting Genesis chapter 2.

Leave his father and mother, be joined unto his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh.

The original says a man shall leave his father and mother

and cleave unto his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh.

So, that verse is special to me

because it sort of sums up,

God's original intention for a marriage relationship.

First of all, there is leaving.

He has to leave father and mother.

Now, Adam didn't have father and mother.

But God said, a man shall leave his father and mother.

He is setting a pattern for future generations.

And the idea of leaving is that I am setting aside

one relationship to solidify another relationship.

So, I have to sever ties of dependence to mom and dad

and solidify ties of dependence with my wife or my husband.

So, it begins by leaving,

and then it continues by cleaving,

or being joined unto his wife.

The word cleave is, or be joined,

is an old word in the Hebrew that means to be glued.

I like that translation, glued,

or bound inseparably.

This is why, when we do weddings,

we make the couple take vows.

Because we want them to know

this isn't just a living arrangement.

You're not just shacking up together.

You're making a permanent, lifelong commitment.

Will you have so-and-so to be your God-given wife

in a covenant of marriage?

Will you love her, honor her, forsaking all,

while others live only unto her,

as long as you both shall live?

That's pretty permanent.

I don't say as long as you both shall love.

But as long as you both shall live.

Because when you decide to make it permanently

by as long as you both shall live,

the love will follow

when you make that kind of commitment.

So, glued inseparably,

leaving,

leaving, number one,

cleaving, number two.

Now, because it is a word that means

to be glued or welded,

I often like to describe marriage

as gluing two pieces of paper together.

Once you glue two pieces of paper together

and let the glue dry,

essentially they become one.

And I can prove it.

Try to separate those two pieces of paper now.

You won't be able to do it without great damage.

Great damage.

Without great damage.

So God's original intention was leaving,

cleaving,

and number three,

weaving.

Leaving, cleaving, and weaving.

The two shall become one flesh.

That's a lifelong process.

And it takes commitment,

a lifelong commitment,

to continue to weave lives together,

interests together,

schedules together,

date nights together.

It takes that kind of fortitude and commitment.

Leaving, cleaving, weaving.

The two shall become one flesh.

So it's a very seminal verse

that Paul is pulling out of Genesis chapter two.

But verse 32 adds different flavor.

This, he says,

this is a great mystery,

but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

What Paul seems to indicate by this is that

marriage is an earthly microcosm

of a divine macrocosm.

A horizontal microcosm of a vertical macrocosm,

a vertical reality.

That marriage is to be a tiny glimpse

so that people can look at that and say,

oh, that's how God loves the church.

That's how Jesus loves the church.

Like you love your wife,

like you love your husband.

That kind of lifelong commitment of love

is how God loves us.

That's how he says,

I speak in a mystery.

I speak concerning Christ and the church.

So what that means is,

bottom line,

you know what it means.

A good marriage is a good witness.

So it's worth the investment.

It's worth the work.

It's worth resolving the conflict

to get the good testimony.

This I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular

so love his own wife as himself

and let the wife see that she respects

or reverences her husband.

Now, I'm glad there's a men's conference coming up.

And it's going to be great

and I would encourage every man here to attend.

Amen.

And that is because we need to counteract the attack,

the wholesale attack in this culture and this society

against marriage in general,

against men in particular.

You ever wonder why men are under such attack?

And anybody with enough sense

and who can read anything

and observe anything

can see that men are under such attack.

Well, if you want to neutralize an army,

take out the commander.

If you want to demoralize a nation,

assassinate the president or prime minister.

If you want to ruin a church,

get the pastor knocked out

for moral reasons or whatever.

You want to ruin families,

get men uninvolved,

get men not loving their wives,

loving their hobbies more,

et cetera, et cetera.

Not loving their children,

not taking an interest in raising their children.

And so it's a perfectly logical attack.

Satan has been working through the voices in our culture

to attack the family and in particular attack men.

So let's counter attack that.

And not be passive men,

but leaders, servant leaders in our home.

Love your wife as you love yourself.

And wives, learn to respect your husband.

Now he continues with this whole example

of submitting to one another with children and parents.

Verse one of chapter six, children,

obey your parents in the Lord.

And if a kid's reading this and go, why should I?

It tells you right after that.

For this is right.

Honor your father and your mother,

which is the first commandment with a promise.

And he quotes the promise that it may be well with you

that you may live long on the earth.

Now you read that children obey your parents

and you might think of little kids at home,

you know, who are 12 years and under,

but the word for children is the word tekna,

which means any child of any age, still living.

Living at home under the authority of parents.

And these days that could be up to 30.

But even after they leave home,

you don't stop honoring your parents.

I remember when I left home, I was gonna say 18.

I was really 17.

I graduated at 17, I left home.

And I thought, you know, I'm done with my parents.

I'm done with needing to honor them and obey them.

I can do my own thing.

Well, I did my own thing for a summer.

And right in the middle of that summer,

I was watching a broadcast on television with Billy Graham.

I gave my life to Christ.

And the first thought, I need to go back home.

I need to tell my parents.

I need to tell my brothers.

I need to tell my friends what happened.

So I went back and for a period of time,

I was once again living at home with my parents.

And the Lord kept bringing up this verse,

honor your parents, honor your mother and your father.

And it was very tough at this point because I had left the church I was raised in,

the Roman Catholic Church.

I'm this crazy, long-haired, born-again,

hippie Christian that they could not figure out and did not really like.

Though they loved me, but they didn't really like me.

And I had to figure out, how am I going to honor my parents in this new paradigm?

Honoring your parents is something that is to last a lifetime and it is for all of us.

And it is in the lineup, it is in God's top ten list.

It's the fifth commandment.

And I told you Sunday that of all the commandments, most of them are put in the negative.

Only two of them are put in the positive, really one and a half.

And the one that really shines as a positive commandment is the fifth commandment.

Honor your father and your mother.

And then a promise is attached to that, that you may dwell long in the land that the Lord

your God is giving to you.

Now there's a problem in the New Testament era because the religious leaders figured

out a way to take the fifth commandment.

And twist it so they wouldn't have to obey it.

Let me read this to you.

This is from the Gospel of Mark.

I'm reading from chapter 7.

You're free to turn there if you're quick on your feet or with your fingers.

Mark chapter 7.

When they came from the marketplace, this is Mark 7 verse 4, they do not eat unless

they wash.

That is the Pharisees.

That didn't mean like wash the germs off.

But ceremonially cleanse themselves.

Cleanse themselves.

And many other things which they have received and hold, like the washing of cups, pitchers,

copper vessels, and couches.

Then the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, why do your disciples not walk according to

the tradition of the elders, but they eat bread with unwashed hands?

They don't go through the proper ritual ceremonies when they eat their hamburger.

Amen.

He answered, and they wouldn't eat a cheeseburger.

That's not kosher.

He answered and said to them, well, did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites?

As it is written, this people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.

And in vain do they worship me, teaching his doctrine, the commandments of men.

For laying aside the commandment of God, you hold the tradition of men, the washing of

pitchers, cups, and many other things you do.

He said, amen.

Amen.

And he said to them, all too well you reject the commandment of God that you may keep your

tradition.

For Moses said, honor your father and your mother.

And he who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.

But you say, if a man says to his father or mother, whatever profit you might have received

from me is korban, that is a gift to God.

Then you no longer have the right to eat.

Then you no longer let him do anything for his father and his mother.

They knew the commandment of God, honor your father and your mother.

They knew they had a responsibility to care for their father and their mother.

But they had come up with an interesting way to twist the commandment of God to get out

of honoring father and mother, caring for father and mother, financially, et cetera.

And that is this.

They could, if they dedicated something they had, money or whatever property they had,

and they said it is korban, it is devoted to God, they could in turn dedicate anything

and everything to the temple.

Now as Pharisees, they were beneficiaries of the temple.

They were paid by the temple.

So they were able to dedicate everything to the temple, receive the financial benefit

of it.

But because it's dedicated to God, not honor their father and their mother.

So the ironic part is they're going, how come you don't keep our traditions?

And Jesus said, why do you, by your traditions, annul the commandment of God?

When I was growing up as a Roman Catholic.

I remember kids of parents who went to the priest or the monsignor or the bishop, and

a couple of them managed to get their marriage annulled.

And annulment means that the church doesn't recognize your marriage as valid, even though

you may have said vows to each other, even though you went through the ceremony, if you

really try hard.

you could get them to annul the relationship if the relationship is annulled then you're free to

like marry anybody else you want and it never really sat with me and thinking now how could

it not be a valid marriage if these are their children and that is their wedding certificate

and when I go to their homes I see pictures of their wedding and wedding guests but they had

figured out a way by their tradition to twist the commandment of God for their own profit for

their own benefit the Pharisees were doing that with the fifth commandment and Jesus nailed them

on that he said no you're to honor your father and your mother beautiful example of honoring

your father and your mother is Jesus on the cross Jesus had left home Jesus lived with his

disciples traveled the countryside now he is on the cross dying for the sins of the world

but even in his anguish he made sure that his mother was taken care of when he said son behold

your mother mother behold your son he made sure that John his follower would take care of her

he honored her in his time of anguish he honored his father and his mother so

children obey your parents in the Lord it's right honor your father and your mother

it's a commandment with a promise so that's the basic role of submission

then back to chapter 6 Ephesians verse 4 and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath but

bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord question for you

why is it when Paul addresses children he says he quotes the commandment honor your father and

your mother when it

comes to raising children he doesn't address father and mother but the father

well

notice the context notice the wording I should say

fathers do not provoke your children to wrath

it could be that Paul understood in that Greco-Roman culture

that it was a commandment to bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord

it was very easy and normal for fathers to neglect the raising of their children

that's woman's work you know I'm working in the Roman Senate or I have a very

important job with the city of Ephesus or you know I'm doing I'm doing my

occupation that's my work my work as a husband is to go to work and provide for

this family and I'll clean out the garage too and do a little yard work but

everything else with kids that's your responsibility

it could be just simply out of neglect a second reason he's telling fathers not

to provoke their children to wrath is

said

men kind B tend to be see if you agree with this suspect is bitter

just by virtue of the fact of the the fact that they have a great physical

strength they have a deeper voice usually than their wives do and when

they

When they yell, you know, it's, whoa, it can be intimidating and powerful and come across in a way that is harsh.

But there's a third reason, and I think really is the reason, although all of these are legitimate.

The buck stops with him.

The father is responsible for his wife and nurturing, husbanding her, cultivating that ground.

But also, he is responsible for the raising of the child.

He has to be involved somehow.

So even though it was not typical in that culture, he involves the men by saying,

you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up.

See the negative? Don't provoke them to wrath, but bring them up.

That's the positive.

Bring them up. Don't put them down. Bring them up.

Don't put them down.

Don't push them away. Bring them up.

Bring them up higher.

Encourage them.

Nurture them.

Train them.

Don't say, well, when they say, Daddy, why should I?

Because I said.

Don't do that.

Sit them down. Explain it to them.

Help them understand. Reason with them.

You are setting a template for how they will raise their children.

So bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord.

When it comes to Christian books on marriage and Christian books on family,

Christian books on restoration and counseling, those kinds of things, those domestic issues,

when it comes to that pool of love,

literature in the Christian world,

let me ask you a question.

Do you think men or women buy those books the most?

How many think men?

How many think women?

You know.

Eighty percent of those books are purchased by women.

They know. They care.

It's important to them.

They want nurturing.

They want restoration.

They want the relationship fixed.

I remember when our son was born, little Nathan Alexander.

And I remember holding him in my hands.

And my first thought is, he's so light.

Well, he was a newborn.

And I thought that was the first thought is that he's so light.

And then as I'm holding him thinking he's so light and I thought, boy, he's so light.

I hope I don't I don't want to drop him.

You know, I was just sort of nervous.

That I would would drop him.

These are the first thoughts that I had as a father.

And so I thought he's light.

And then suddenly I felt the weight

of responsibility.

Oh, he's not light.

This is heavy.

And the weight of responsibility that is it's going to be a lifetime of commitment,

a lifetime of paying for him.

You know, you know, this is one of the reasons we should.

Honor our parents.

It costs to raise a child today.

It costs from age from infancy to age 18.

About three hundred and thirty thousand dollars per child.

So you just you figure out the math and it's like, okay.

The least you can do is honor me.

Bond servants be obedient to those.

Who are your masters, according to the flesh.

with fear and trembling and sincerity of heart as to Christ,

not with eye service as men pleasers,

but as bondservants of Christ,

doing the will of God from the heart,

with goodwill, doing service as to the Lord and not to men.

Today we don't have in our culture bondservants and masters.

We have employers and employees, so we could easily translate it.

But employees, be obedient to those who are your masters or your employers,

according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and sincerity of heart as to Christ.

I read this statistic recently,

and I had to cross-check it a couple times because I thought it was outrageous,

and I actually found out I was,

a little bit on the shallow side, that it was actually much greater.

I'll explain.

I read this statistic that the average worker in America

admits to wasting 20% of his day.

And then I said, that can't be right.

It's 25%.

So, being on the phone, social stuff,

socializing.

Socializing.

Socializing with people, kind of doing their own little task when they got a little couple minutes to do it.

They waste the equivalent over one day per week.

Now, we should work as though our employer were Christ himself.

I'm doing this as unto the Lord.

And some of you go, well, I'd like to be in full-time ministry.

That looks more fun and more glorious to me.

Listen, if you work for me, you're going to work hard.

Or you won't work for me.

You won't work.

When I was working in the hospitals,

and I would bring my Bible, and I would bring commentaries,

and I would be studying for Bible studies that I would do,

I had several people say to me,

Skip, do you ever think you want to be in full-time ministry

and quit the job here and be in full-time ministry?

Because it just seems like that's what you're all about.

Ministry.

But you're working here at the hospital.

Do you ever want to be in full-time ministry?

And I corrected them.

I said,

I am in full-time ministry.

You and I are having a conversation.

You probably would never come to church.

But now,

you're an audience to me.

I am in full-time ministry.

Your ministry vocation

is your present location.

Wherever you are presently located and working

is your ministry vocation.

There are people there who wouldn't darken the door of a church,

as they say,

but they'll have very open conversations with you.

And it's very advantageous.

So, what does that have to do with this?

The workplace is the visual stage for unbelievers

to examine the life of a Christian.

As they examine the life of a Christian at the workplace,

they're wondering things like,

what kind of ethics do Christians have?

How do Christians treat other people,

other employees, other clients?

What do they do when something goes wrong, etc., etc.?

They're watching.

They're observing you.

So, it is a staging area for the gospel.

So, we shouldn't do it with eye service as men pleasers.

You know, here's the boss.

Polish the apple.

Hey, man, how you doing?

You look like you're working.

Knowing that whatever good anyone does,

he will receive it.

He will receive, verse 8,

the same from the Lord,

whether a slave or free.

You know, there's a lot of ways you can look at your job.

I love the story of three workers in Paris, France.

They all had the same job.

They were stonecutters.

A man walked up to these three men working,

and he asked the first guy,

hey, what are you doing?

And the guy said, I'm just breaking rocks.

He asked the second man, what are you doing?

He says, I'm just earning a living.

A few francs.

He asked the third man, what are you doing?

He said, I'm building a cathedral for the glory of God.

He was making the Notre Dame.

See, you can look at it as I was just breaking rocks.

I'm just earning a living.

Or, this is for the Lord.

I'm doing it as unto the Lord.

And you masters, you're not off the hook.

You employers do the same things to them,

giving up, threatening,

knowing that your own master also is in heaven,

and there's no partiality with him.

Finally, my brethren,

be strong in the Lord

and in the power of his might.

Put on the whole armor of God

that you may be able to stand

against the wiles of the devil.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood,

but against principalities,

against powers,

against the rulers of the darkness of this age,

against spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places.

Therefore, take up the whole armor of God

that you may be able to withstand in the evil day,

and having done all, to stand.

Stand, therefore,

having girded your waist with truth,

having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

and having shod your feet

with the preparation of the gospel of peace.

Now Paul turns a page here, so to speak.

He has been speaking in the first two chapters

about the wealth of the believer,

chapter 1, 2, and 3.

Chapter 4 and 5, the walk of the believer.

Now the second part of chapter 6,

verses 10 to the end,

the warfare of the believer.

He leaves the walk, he leaves the home,

and he takes us out to the battlefield

where you smell the smoke of war.

Spiritual warfare.

When I gave my life to Christ

that afternoon in July in San Jose, California,

I felt so much peace,

so much joy.

And I didn't even know how to describe

what had happened to me.

And I told you that when I went to see my friends

and I was trying to tell them,

and they told me about the word born again,

I had never heard that phrase,

and they just, they were listening

to what I was trying to tell them,

and the guy said,

Heitzig, have you been born again?

And I said, where did you get that,

that's a great phrase.

That expresses what I feel.

I feel like a new birth.

He said, well, Jesus said that.

He said, you must be born again

if you're going to see the kingdom of heaven.

I said, yes, I have been born again.

And I felt joy, I felt peace,

I felt satisfaction.

And then I read where Jesus said

in John chapter 10,

I have come that they may have life

and have it more abundantly.

And I did experience an abundant life,

and I do experience an abundant life.

But what nobody told me

is that you have abundant life, yes,

but you'll also have a battle.

You have abundant life, you have peace,

you have joy,

but you have a target painted on your back

because you have defected

from the enemy's territory,

the enemy's camp.

You have left the strong grip of Satan

on your life.

You have done the one thing

he didn't want you to ever do,

and that is surrender your life to Christ.

Now, read the book Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis,

now he and his demons will do everything they can

to target you, to discourage you,

to challenge you.

And so from that point on,

when I first discovered that,

I started reading all the other verses

in the New Testament

that I didn't underline,

where Jesus promised

that there would be warfare and battles,

fights.

At the end of Paul's life

in 2 Timothy chapter 4,

he ended his life by saying,

I have fought the good fight.

I have finished the race.

I have run my course.

I have fought the good fight.

Then Jesus,

when he promised that he would build his church,

do you remember how he described it?

He goes,

I will build my church

and the gates of hell

will not prevail against it.

It seems to imply that

they'll try their hardest

to prevail against us.

So I have discovered that

two things can be true at once.

I can be in the midst of a battle,

the battle of my life,

and that battle is daily

and it never ceases.

And at the same time,

have abundant life,

overflowing life,

because I'm assured the victory.

I fight not for victory,

I fight from victory.

But there are certain things

I need to know,

certain things I need to wear.

And though I really wanted to finish

all of chapter 6,

you know me better than that.

And I won't say the gates of hell

prevailed against me

because they didn't.

But what I'm going to do is

next week,

next time we're together,

finish off Ephesians

by just talking about these weapons

and the armament,

the defensive weapons

and the offensive weapons

that we have in this battle

against Satan.

And that'll close the book.

Fair enough?

Otherwise, I just read through it,

rush through it and say,

God bless you,

figure out a way to apply it.

But I think we need to

discuss it a little more.

So Father, thank you.

Thank you that we have all that we need.

We have the wealth

promised in Christ Jesus,

seated in heavenly places,

positionally.

And that which is true positionally,

I pray that we would work out practically.

That we would walk.

And that our walk would be weighty,

it would be worthy.

A walk in humility and unity

with variety,

in charity,

at home,

at the workplace.

And then Father,

I pray you would prepare us

for the battles we are going to face.

Some of us are deep in the weeds right now.

I pray you'd strengthen your flock.

Encourage those who have come.

Lord, for some of us,

you have spoken directly to our hearts.

And we must take these things

and apply them.

I pray, Lord, that

our marriages,

relationships with our kids,

our parents,

our employers, employees,

would honor and glorify you.

In Jesus' name, amen.

For more resources from

Calvary Church and Skip Heitzig,

visit calvarynm.church.

Thank you for joining us

from this teaching in our series,

Exbound.