Owned 11/19/05

November 19, 2005.

You're listening to OWN with your host Dave, Kevin, EJ, and Dan Tauber's not here again

because he's Jewish.

That's not exactly the reason.

That's not the reason.

He had a surprise party he didn't know about until I called him.

That's why it's a surprise.

So no Dan this week, but that's okay because we got some great material since we didn't

have a show last week.

We were saving it up.

Is that what you're talking about?

It's a surprise party he didn't know about.

No, that's what he told me.

He said it was a surprise party and he didn't realize it.

Okay, turn off the game.

That's it, man.

It's in his fucking game.

Alright, it's good.

So this week on today's show, we're going to be talking about the Xbox 360 since it's

launching on Tuesday and we're going to have a movie review of Harry Potter and the Chamber

of Stone.

No, that's not the right title.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Fire.

And another review on True Romance.

Just get it.

Kevin.

This week on South Park and Dave and Kevin talk about World of Warcraft and finally we're

ending with a Petty Prank Call, which you should pick up this week because he's not

in band, right?

Yeah, and there's no football game.

And there's no football game.

Yeah, there's no band.

No band.

Okay, so let's get started with the Xbox 360 launch titles.

Well, both me and EJ want to buy one on Tuesday, so we're going to go...

Kevin can't because he's poor.

Kevin's poor, so he can't buy one.

Buy one.

Okay, so we're going to be talking about Xbox 360 today, which is coming out on Tuesday

versus Saturday.

All right.

So I'm going to go through all the games that are coming out for it and we can talk about

whether we like them or not.

King Kong, no.

Perfect Dark Zero, maybe.

Yeah, yeah, we're thinking about that.

Madden, NFL 06.

I thought we were going to talk about them.

We will talk about them.

We're going to list them off so people can understand what they are.

All right.

Madden, NFL 06.

Amped 3.

PG.

What's that?

Oh, the racing game.

3.

Yeah, the racing game.

Dead or Alive 4.

Quake 4, which sucked, which I reviewed a couple weeks ago.

God, which sucked worse.

Gun, which is awesome because it's about guns.

Condemned.

Need for Speed.

Wanted.

Wait, I thought it was Most Wanted.

No, just Wanted.

Oh, cool.

Cameo, Elements of Power.

Pube.

Tiger Woods, if you want some golfing games.

Good one.

FIFA.

I think it's right now Tiger Woods is the only non-live game because golfing.

You can play golf with other people.

But it's not online.

It's just, you know, not because it's not cool.

Shut up.

Golfing is awesome.

Tony Hawk Wasteland.

Call of Duty 2.

And Dynasty Warriors 5.

5.

There's a third?

There is no game on there that makes me excited to get an Xbox 360.

I think you're excited about NHL 2K6, Kevin, because you're so into it.

I did not even do that in 6 yet.

I can't do that.

You're so into whatever sport it's about.

Not hockey.

Hockey?

Oh, the H is for hockey.

Yep.

Okay.

I love horse racing.

My neighbor's a horse racer and a cutter.

My neighbor races horse.

A horse racer and a cutter.

She does both at the same time.

It hurts.

Sometimes she bleeds.

And so.

So deep that it didn't even bleed.

I don't get it.

It's used.

Really?

Yep.

It's a really weird video with cartoon people.

Oh, that's their one.

That's kind of.

That's crazy.

That's the one where like the guy walks in the bookstore.

He's like, oh my God, there's so many books.

And then he like opens one and it's like the used bookstore.

And then he goes, it folds up.

And then he's in.

Yes, it is.

He's in.

I've never seen that music video.

Yesterday I saw the one called Burying Myself Alive.

I was pretty happy.

He was in a box.

Okay.

Anyway, back on topic.

The thing is going to cost, in case you didn't know, two varieties.

The $299 one and the $399 one.

And if you buy the $299.

$299 one, you're a chump because you basically have to pay $40 to even work the thing and

then more to buy.

$4?

I'm getting the premium because I'm cool.

Not really, but I hope they have them because they might be sold out.

Do they have the core systems?

Are we going to get that?

No, that's the only one they have left.

I'm not going to get one.

I'll go to Costco the next day because I know they'll have it.

I feel like.

We should go to like.

Costco will have 200.

They know that nobody will be going to Circuit City.

Walmart.

Who goes to Walmart?

The majority of the world.

Circuit City.

You want to go to Circuit City?

Let me go to Twitter right next to it and look at speakers.

Circuit City?

That's what someone told me to go get it at that.

Circuit, really?

I don't know.

Maybe.

What was his name?

Ethan Reox?

No.

Reox.

We were talking.

Me and Ethan were talking.

That's an in-joke.

No in-jokes.

They're in-jokes we talk about.

Never mind.

That's an in-joke.

We're going to try to buy it.

Where are we going to go?

Walmart?

Well, we're going to call around tonight.

Oh, yeah.

We've got to call around tonight.

And hopefully we're going to go at midnight.

So we're going to go at 7 o'clock and Kevin will come with us to entertain us.

He'll be there for amusement.

I'll be like the court jester.

John Marshall.

Shut up.

What?

No.

History.

And we're going to go there at like 7, I think.

And we're going to bring like 9 millimeters just in case we get robbed.

Rob.

You said rob.

And there might be gang fights, but it'll be okay because we'll...

I poop too much.

We got our nines.

Anyway.

Okay, so the Xbox 360 is coming out.

And we don't know a whole lot about it.

And the games are okay.

What the hell is going on with that man?

Kevin's playing with the knobs.

You look crazy.

Sorry about that, folks.

My ears.

It hurts.

My ears are bleeding.

Shut up.

That was funny on the internet yesterday.

We were talking to Petchy.

On AIM.

And he said something stupid.

He was like, shut up, Petchy.

Yeah.

What the hell?

I started laughing because it was funny.

Anyway.

Lol.

My skin's a loler.

So, what games are we going to buy?

You talk about what game you're going to buy, EJ.

I'm going to get Cameo.

A perfect dog.

He's going to get Cameo the fairy game.

Man, you haven't said that you're a favorite.

You must have been wagging off to that.

What favorites?

Look.

Your freaking bookmarks.

Watch this.

Everybody, look at this.

Oh, never mind.

Where the hell is it?

History, maybe?

History is not the same as bookmarks.

Don't look for...

Right there.

Fairy.

Alright, so.

I'm probably going to get PGR3, the car game.

You might have seen the commercials on Comedy Central.

I haven't.

Well, they're good.

It was probably so much like real life, you didn't even notice.

You didn't even notice those games.

I was like, wow, it's real life, so I'm driving a car.

Anyway, it looks really slick, and there's like red cars.

So, I'm going to buy it.

Good for you, dude.

It's a red car.

If it didn't have red cars, would you not buy it?

No.

I wouldn't buy it.

Unless it had purple cars.

Yesterday, I played this game in the movie theater, and it was pretty homosexual.

Maybe you've played it before, Kevin.

It's where you...

Someone starts saying...

Why would I have played it before?

It's where someone says a color, and then you go down the row, and you each name colors,

and if someone names the same color again, you've got to make a noise in the movie theater

really loud.

I'm guessing Stu made that one up.

That sounds awesome.

It was pretty...

The only thing that was exhilarating was Harry Potter.

No, we're not getting there yet.

We'll get there.

Well, it kind of leads in, because this is what we did in the theater.

That sounds cool.

So, the more...

What is the name?

Mark Morris.

Oh, shoot.

I've got to edit that out.

Mark kept saying, doing it, and he...

It was funny, because he was told to stop by the lady sitting in front of us.

She turned around and says, can you stop doing that?

I'm here with my daughter.

So, we were kind of mean, so...

Anyway, we saw...

We were at the movie, Harry Potter, in the chamber of...

No.

The Goblet of Fire.

There's so many, and they're all the same.

Where's the goblet?

But anyway, the goblet was pretty cool.

It was enormous.

It was like...

It was enormous.

It was this huge goblet.

And it was shooting out fire.

Oh, I remember from the whole entire movie.

I fell asleep during part of it, when Mr. Dumbledore...

Dumbledore!

When Dumbledore was talking at the end, I just, like, nodded off.

I was asleep.

And then someone turned around and yelled at me, and I woke up.

So, I think it was crappy?

It was...

It was not that good.

I mean, it had really good special effects, and if you like Harry Potter, I guess you have to see it, but...

If you like Harry Potter, then you've probably already seen it.

Was there any sex?

Well, there was a...

Yeah, from Iron.

Bang, bang, bang.

Bang, bang.

There was some pretty raunchy scenes in it.

Oh.

To be honest, there was the bathroom scene, where Harry gets naked.

Oh.

And Moaning Myrtle comes and, you know, frisks him.

I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

He's gonna poop.

Bye.

And there was also the scene where they go to the ball, and they have to invite...

People to the ball, and that scene just...

Blew me away.

Pretty hot.

It was pretty hot.

There was a...

There was a wizard mosh pit.

Really?

No, seriously.

There was, like, heavy metal witches playing music at one scene, and they were all jumping around.

Of course, Harry wasn't dancing, because he was depressed, because he didn't go out with Cho Chang, the Asian...

Emo people don't mosh.

Harry's emo.

He doesn't jump around.

No, they don't.

They don't.

They sit around.

They pit dance.

Emo people are...

No, they cut while...

That really hurt.

They cut the line.

Oh, you mean that?

Okay, forget it.

And so, I'd say, if you're really into Harry Potter, you should go see it.

But, otherwise, you can skip it, wait for it to be on DVD, get it from Netflix.

Unless you really want to see the naked Harry in the bathroom scene.

Which is pretty hot.

Oh, and there was, like, it was almost nudity.

Almost.

It was, like, this close.

In who?

Wait.

Who was almost naked?

Who?

Everyone.

Hermione, Harry, Ron, Mr. Weasley.

Dude, I hate your...

Hagrid.

There was this Ronji scene with Hagrid and the other tall woman.

And they were picking stuff out of each other's beards.

And it was pretty crazy.

Of course, a lot of that stuff was lost on me because there was these two girls sitting behind us.

And every single thing they had to make a comment on.

Like, when Harry wanted to go ask Cho Chang out, they were like,

Oh, it's so sweet.

Oh, I would have said yes.

Oh, it's so sweet.

I'm sorry.

I was kind of going around and slapped them.

Hey, bitch, I'm watching a movie.

I took my soda, threw it right out of their face.

Oh, sorry.

I would have said yes, too.

It was bad.

And then, like, every scary thing, they're like,

Oh, my God.

And at the end, they're like,

I knew that was going to happen.

I knew he was the bad one.

It was Petchie.

Petchie wasn't there.

There was a couple people I knew.

I mean, the theater was packed because it was, like...

It was Arabia.

Don't mess with the script, dude.

Now I have to erase it.

Wow.

I would have gone and seen it.

Kevin would have went, but we forgot to call him.

I wasn't in charge of calling.

Morris's were in charge of calling.

Yeah, well, it's because I told Dan.

Because I thought you guys were going to go see it at 530, and you didn't.

I don't know.

Well, I didn't know Dan Tower called me up.

But he was not on the show.

Because he was too busy thinking about Harry Potter in the bathtub.

He's probably masturbating right now.

Hold on.

Anyway, Harry Potter and Chamber of Secrets.

What should I give it?

It was the Goblet of Fire.

No, I'm going to give it a zero.

It had good special effects.

You know, I don't like the new Dumbledore.

The one that died was a lot better.

He was a better actor.

Well, Snape killed him.

Snape didn't kill him.

I stood up at the end of the movie, and I did say, I was just sad.

Like, Snape kills Dumbledore.

But no one listened, because everyone was talking about how wrong.

Everyone's read the book already.

Yeah, and Harry was in the bathroom.

Stop talking about the book.

What the...

Oh, forget it.

So, I'd give it maybe six out of ten on the Dave scale of coolness.

Or the D-S of C.

All right.

Moving to a future romance.

So, you don't have to hear me talk for a little bit.

Yo, yo.

All right.

Hey, Kevin.

You take a gun, you put it in your eyes, and then you do something.

All right?

Okay.

Anyways.

Beef is when you sleep with nine millions.

Nine millimeters under your pillow.

That's what beef is.

Is that Alan's profile?

Beef.

I eat beef.

All right.

You don't.

All right.

Okay.

To romance.

An amazing story about...

The amazing triumphant cinematic feature.

Have you ever seen it?

Have you ever seen it, bitch?

All right.

It tastes like crap.

What?

Your mom tastes like crap last night.

Anyways.

It's pretty great, because...

It's a gangster movie.

Gangster movie.

It's about a pimp and a hoe.

Shut up.

That's because I'm listening to you guys talk.

Well, the audience can't hear us.

All right.

I'm getting distracted, dude.

Do your show.

All right.

Anyway.

So, it begins where, you know, there's a woman.

It's a EJ show.

Her name is Alabama.

She's from Alabama.

You know, it's pretty ironic, I guess.

Not really.

Shut up.

It's pretty ironic if her name is Alabama.

She was, like, from, like, Florida.

It's ironic, all right?

She's from the second region, dude.

Actually, I don't even know if she's from Alabama.

Maybe Louisiana or some other slave state.

But continue on with your...

Anyway.

Turn it off.

You don't even have a cable down here.

I know, but we can pretend.

Anyways.

So, she is a hoe, because she needs money, and, you know, she's a hoe.

So, she meets up with this...

What actor is her name?

Shut up.

What's his name?

Well...

Daniel Fagcliffe.

Anyway, I forgot his name.

I forgot his name.

I forgot his name, but he's really good.

The main character is, like...

Shut up.

The main character is, like, a regular guy, you know?

He deals comic books, and he gets...

It's his birthday, and his boss of the comic book dealing shop...

I...

Shut up.

Anyway.

Shut up.

You gotta do comic books on the stick?

You're telling me comic books are not drugs.

Anyways.

So, the comic book...

The leader guy, or whatever, he...

Shut up.

At least be quiet about friggin' laughing.

Anyways.

Dude, this table's real flimsy.

Anyways.

It's from Ikea.

Probably cost five dollars, and it was made by slaves.

Slaves.

Slaves and bulldozers.

Slaves.

Anyways.

Shut up.

Anyways.

So, he gets...

You know, he gets the whore.

He doesn't know she's a whore, so, you know, they're pretty into it.

You know, they have some butt sex.

It's like pretty woman.

Shut up.

A little bit of butt sex here and there.

Alright, so, then she tells him he's a whore, and he's like, yeah, whatever, it's cool.

So...

But she also says, I love you, so...

That messes up.

They're in love.

What did you do?

You ruined it.

No, he didn't.

That's what I was doing earlier.

Okay, anyways.

Anyway...

Shut up for a second.

Anyways.

So, um...

It's pretty sweet, because...

Well, the best scene in the movie, I'll tell you, alright?

They have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

They find...

Alright.

They find a bunch of cocaine.

And...

At the pimp's house, because, you know, he kills the pimp because he's being a little bitch.

So...

No, dude, this is at the beginning.

Anyway, so they got the cocaine.

And the best part is when the whore, she's fighting the guy who wants his cocaine back.

And he's beating her like crazy, alright?

Her eyes are bleeding, alright?

You know, and she takes...

She takes the cross and stabs it right into his foot.

And he gets really angry.

So he shoves her into his shower and she gets all bloody.

Because she gets all the glass in her...

In her boobs.

And...

And, uh...

And then, guess what she does?

He takes out his gun.

And right when he fires, she dodges it like Neo.

But different.

And she has a lighter.

So, his...

Or no, he has not a lighter.

He has a...

She has, like, hairspray.

And she sprays the flame into his eye.

And he just burns down.

It's pretty sweet.

It does make sense.

See it.

Download it now, Dave.

Anyways.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Nothing illegal.

Nothing illegal on Dave's computer.

Anyways.

So, basically, the movie is definitely a 9...

And it's written by Quentin Tarantino.

And it's really amazing.

So, I give it a 9.5.

I only lose a .5 because Joe Pesci wasn't in it.

No, not Pesci.

Pesci.

Anyways.

Okay.

Now, we're going to move on to some South Park this week.

Okay.

Well, I thought it was good.

But Kevin and Dave didn't.

And we'll tell you why.

I thought it was good because I hate R. Kelly.

And I don't really like Tom Cruise.

And John Travolta is not my BFF.

So...

Yeah, but he's not my BFF, I said.

Who is your BFF, DJ?

Samuel Jackson.

Okay.

Snakes on a plane.

That movie is going to be so funny.

Black people rule.

Are you here about that?

No.

Let me talk about snakes on a plane.

Okay.

This is Kevin's...

Okay, yeah.

Samuel Jackson was asked to be in this movie.

And like...

Yes, I'm black.

Okay, no, like...

The plot is...

Like, Samuel Jackson's just got on a plane.

And this person brings a bunch of snakes onto it.

And, I don't know, the working title was Snakes on a Plane.

Which is the most freaking awesome thing ever.

And so...

The only reason Jackson, like...

Went onto the movie is because it's called Snakes on a Plane.

And he made him not change it.

So the official title of the movie is going to be called Snakes on a Plane.

That is pretty cool.

It's going to be amazing.

And we're going to go back to South Park.

Back to South Park.

South Park.

So, um...

Yeah, that was okay.

Maybe you laugh once or twice.

There was never any, uh, lol moments for me.

No lol moments.

Lol.

They were all his...

The best part, I think...

You gotta sit up.

I mean, I chuckled, but there weren't lol moments.

The best part was when he says...

Russ, uh...

What was it?

R. Kelly?

The R&B rap star or whatever.

He says...

One...

I'm gonna shoot you both.

Two...

I'm gonna cap a bitch.

Three...

And then he goes in the closet.

And it's just hilarious because it's making fun of his song called...

In the Closet.

Really?

Yes.

You never heard it?

I didn't know enough about R. Kelly.

Way over my head right there.

I didn't know enough about R. Kelly.

You don't listen to R. Kelly?

Alright.

Oh, so you do listen to R. Kelly.

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

Death Metal, R. Kelly.

I don't listen to R. Kelly.

Death Metal, R. Kelly.

Pretty sweet.

I've never heard that song.

Go eat yourself.

Anyway.

See, I thought it was being clever and subtle when Tom Cruise went in the closet at first.

Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, that's funny.

I got that.

That's funny.

Then they just beat him.

Yeah, I know.

It's the whole episode.

It was all that.

Yeah.

So, I mean, that kind of took away.

It made fun of Scientology because Scientology is gay.

No, no, no.

But the whole coming out of the closet thing, they just beat that into the ground.

Yeah, I thought that was just like a play on words.

It wasn't funny that much.

You know it.

Anyways.

What the...

What did I beat?

No, but you can't...

What did you do?

Didn't you think that was a little overdoing it?

Yeah, it was funny at first, but then...

Like, for the whole episode?

Yeah, it was funny at first.

It was clever.

Like, I laughed, and then they cut the commercial.

But then when they came back from the commercial, that was the whole episode.

I was thinking of Scientology.

Didn't you...

Yeah, yeah, we got the Scientology part.

Yeah, that was funny.

And that was good.

Okay.

But the Tom Cruise thing was beaten.

Beaten.

So, it was okay.

Beating a freaking dead horse.

Uh-oh.

The door opened.

Okay.

Hey.

Anyone there?

Okay.

All right.

So, now we're going to...

We're going to talk about World of Warcraft.

World of Warcraft.

All right.

Poof time.

So, if any of you people haven't boughten this amazing game yet...

I really don't blame you, because it's really freaking expensive.

Because it's expensive, because in total, if you want to buy it, and if you, like, don't

have a credit card, it's 80 bucks, because you've got to buy the game, and you've got

to buy the game card.

Do you get a free month if you buy the...

Yeah.

You get a free month.

If you buy the game, or...

If you buy the game, you get a free month, and then you get the two months after if you

use a game card.

Okay.

So, if you bought the game, you get a free month.

Okay.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

Then I might do that.

Anyway.

So, it's a good time to talk about it, because...

Shut up, PJ.

Because they just released...

Shut up, PJ.

The free 10-day trial that you can download on the internet, so anybody can do it.

So, this is a good time to get into it.

How many downloads can you get?

Can you just get one?

Let me see.

What?

Can you just, like, keep downloading it?

You get 10 days, and that's it.

You get 10 days.

But why would you want to, anyway?

Because then you're going to make a new account.

Oh, that's what you keep doing.

Shut up!

I did it once.

It's a little 50s.

Do you have to, like...

How do you...

Do you have to buy the game, and then get a 10-day free trial?

That doesn't make sense, because you have to install it.

Because it takes forever to install it.

I think, yeah.

You download the client, and then it just installs the patches, which takes about an

hour.

You might as well just turn it on and go to sleep.

Yeah.

Because it takes forever.

It took forever to install a game on my computer.

Yeah.

And the max, it takes a while, because I don't know why.

Yeah.

The little...

It stops at the end, and it takes, like, 10 minutes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, so, the game's amazing, and we'll talk about our characters.

We both have...

We've got two characters.

I got a hunter and priest, and Kevin has a druid.

You got a freaking cow.

It's freaking awesome.

He's a cow.

Shut up.

We've got to do this next.

A tauren druid.

A tauren.

And I got a troll and a zombie.

Dave, I see why Robin won't go out with you.

You talk about World of Warcraft.

No, because she's a lesbian.

That's why.

I think she seriously is a lesbian.

She is.

She only talks to girls.

Have you ever seen her talk to any other boys?

That's because she's tired.

Well, EJ only talks to guys.

How many girls have you talked to in your life?

I'm just kidding.

More than you.

I don't think so.

I'm the king.

I'm king.

JK.

Seriously, though.

I'm seriously kidding.

I'm going to do a Robin friend call.

It's a freaking awesome game.

It is awesome.

And...

I'm talking in your mouth all day.

Okay, that's it.

Try to bring it all the time.

No.

You guys need to know what I'm talking about, dude.

Alright, so...

David's a turtle.

I've got a turtle, and I named it Rob the Lez.

Rob the Lez or Robin?

Robin, whatever.

But it's all one word.

Oh, Rob.

Rob is a lesbian.

Rob versus Robin.

Rob versus...

Robin versus Robin.

Robin.

We should fight.

Like Kramer versus Kramer.

I got a turtle.

Now I'm going to name him the Dominator.

Because Rob the Lez was apparently incorrect.

For some reason.

I wonder why.

And he's awesome.

And it's...

I'm a hunter, and hunters are awesome.

I'm a druid, and druids are freaking awesome.

Because I can turn into a freaking bear.

Plus, it's like Legend of the Druids,

with a guy that got a pole shoved up his butt.

The mystery of the druids.

Whatever.

The guy that's been screaming,

and then he got the pole up his butt.

Yeah, none of you will get that.

But, like, when we were in sixth grade,

David was in a gaming magazine for an ad for this game,

The Mystery of the Druids.

And on the...

On the advertisement was this guy.

He was like,

He had a steel rod up his butt.

It was great.

We laughed about that.

It was funny.

Anyway.

For the whole entire week.

You guys are so cool.

World of Warcraft.

Amazing game.

Go download the free trial.

I mean, because it's out.

So, you can sample it,

and you can find how awesome it is

and become addicted like us.

Okay, so...

We should try to do a Petty Prank call.

Should everybody have cell phone on them?

Whip it out.

Hey, you whip...

You have absolutely...

None of you guys have speaker phones.

That sucks.

You go get a cell phone.

Get a speaker phone, ho.

Ho.

Okay, so I'm going to do the...

I said ho.

Sexuality survey.

Yeah.

Turn up the volume as much as you can.

Yeah, it's right now,

so I'll put it down all the way.

Because this is a new cell phone

we found in my garage.

What?

Long story.

My mother...

My mother lost hers,

and she thought it was at a swim meet,

so, like, she went back and...

Anyways, it was in the garage.

So, it was like eight months we found it.

So, you didn't find it.

Well, yeah, you did find it.

I don't have his number.

Does it have a speaker phone?

It's a different phone.

I don't have his number.

Oh, I can't remember.

Want me to go get it?

Where could you get it?

Oh, yeah, you guys discussed something.

I'll go get it.

All right.

Where did you go get it?

Oh, anyways, um...

How you doing, EJ?

What's this?

This has been pissing me off for a while.

What?

This thing right here on the side.

You see that right there?

What is that?

Is that Castlevania?

Oh, it looks like it, yeah.

Yeah, look at him.

He's pretty gay.

Yeah, it's Castlevania, definitely.

Maybe it's Petty.

Peyton...

Oh.

Peyton, you the Manning?

Wow.

That's gay.

I'm gonna look at this kid.

Anyways, yeah, we're pretty much just talking

because Dave's going to get Petty's number

because Petty's cool.

Petty's freaking awesome.

Dude, you seriously?

Anyways, oh, Petty!

Petty's in MySpace

because I know all you guys.

You're probably emo or something.

Yeah, we're going to Petty's MySpace, everybody.

It's probably safe in, like,

ultra bookmarks or something.

Okay, Petty.

Let me...

Okay, we're gonna...

I spelled MySpace wrong.

Wow.

Okay, we're gonna give you a link to MySpace

so you can see what this gay kid looks like.

Well, you need to be his friend

before you can view his profile.

It's so depressing.

It doesn't matter.

You can still look at his gay picture.

He doesn't have a picture.

Yeah, he does.

He does?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It was his, like, picture where it says,

is it Friday yet on his shirt?

Okay, hold on.

Vicious...

What the hell?

That's just my email address.

I got it in, like, 6K.

Vicious RD?

Yeah.

What is that?

Vicious...

You spelled cocks.net wrong.

No, I just did a slash instead of a dot.

Yeah, you spelled it wrong.

No, I didn't.

Wait, what's RD?

Is that, like, Robin Downing?

Don't look at my password.

It doesn't matter.

I don't care.

Okay, we're going to read you off the exact URL so you can go.

This is my, uh...

Oh, crap.

I got a comment.

Uh-oh.

It could be Batman.

Oh, now this is your friend.

Oh, crap.

Oh, here we go.

Oh, my God.

He looks even gayer than before.

Holy crap.

I think he's drunk in this photo.

Holy fuck.

Dude, he looks...

He's the gayest kid ever.

And he's...

Oh, my God.

Oh, he changed it.

Oh, no.

That's...

Look at that.

He probably went home the day after we made fun of it and changed it.

Yeah, he did.

He did.

Okay, we're going to read you off the URL.

You're going to read that whole freaking thing?

Wait, shouldn't it just say, like, Apeche's name?

But no, only if he has one.

Oh, Jesus.

Pube.

Yeah.

Okay, we're going to...

We can't tell them our hometown, though, or they'll come and kill us.

Hey, that's me.

You're so gay.

Kenneth the...

Dude, my picture's better than yours.

Me?

Yeah, your picture sucks.

My fat fisherman.

Dude, my fat woman from Cheshire's.

Yeah, he...

Oh, crap.

It's a freaking long.

So, forget it, but Apeche...

Oh, Pernov.

And Maneep.

Pwned by Pernov.

Look at Colin.

Pwned by Maneep, man.

Okay, okay, okay.

Anyways.

Dude, Apeche doesn't know girls.

That's Amy Boisvert.

She's a senior.

She's in a marching band.

Apeche thinks that...

Is that Chrissy Copes?

Yep.

Okay.

Apeche thinks that...

Oh, that was Rob.

That was Rob.

Okay, okay, we're done.

We're done.

Okay.

Pitch a prank call.

Oh, okay.

Now I lost the number.

All right, two, seven...

Oh, wait.

Get your...

9157126.

I didn't know he liked bands.

I've read this off to you.

Were you listening?

No.

Okay, enough of...

I was writing a history essay.

Okay.

What's the number?

9157126.

Star six seven nine.

No.

Star six seven nine.

Seven one two six?

Yeah.

Let me say it real quick.

I'll say it right now.

Blatantly.

I'm a six.

What?

You call it.

Kevin.

Spit it.

Get this ready, dawg.

Get it ready.

Okay, you guys need to shut up.

Dave, you can't go...

Before I'm going to make the room.

Do you want me to leave the room?

Or just stand over there?

No, you can't leave the room.

Stand over there.

Come on, you just can't leave the room.

We're good.

We'll be quiet.

Here, what's 9-1-5?

We won't look at you.

We'll look at each other.

Do I need to do star six seven or not?

Is it in the...

It's already hit.

I think.

Come on.

Let me just make sure.

Turn it off, heavy.

Oh.

We don't have a lot of material.

We don't have a lot of material this week.

We're very sorry.

But we didn't really prepare for it.

This episode sucks.

You guys leave.

Just stop.

Shut up.

We're going to...

Once we get it, we're going to...

The Xbox 360s, it'll be a lot better

because we'll actually be able to talk about it.

Yeah, next week's going to be sweet.

Thanks.

Whoa.

Except for the Tupac quiz in the end.

Let's play.

God damn it.

They didn't answer.

He didn't answer.

Are you kidding me?

No.

No, he is kidding.

He didn't say anything.

I haven't seen.

Here.

Do you want...

Robin?

I'm going to hide my number

because he doesn't know his number.

You can try Robin.

Okay, I'll try Robin.

All right.

Should I do the human sexuality stuff?

Yeah, but we got to first tell...

203.

Because I'll...

The story of Robin.

No, we shan't.

No, I'll just...

Robin sucks.

That's the story.

I'll just imply she's a lesbian

with all the questions I ask.

203.

Wait.

Hold on.

No.

Because the human sexuality...

And you can ask if she's a lesbian.

Like, for real.

Because it's serious stuff.

Yeah, I know.

That's what I mean.

No, you can't.

You can't.

651-9668.

Actually, you can't say 651-9668.

651-9668.

651...

We probably shouldn't be saying

these numbers, though.

We didn't say the area code.

Oh, 651-9228.

If I say 20,

they have nine numbers

they can choose from.

I'll change my voice, too.

Nine numbers they can choose from.

Okay.

10.

I'm sorry, 10.

Let me get some...

Wait.

Okay.

Let me get some...

You have reached

the mailbox of...

We won't do anything

this weekend.

Give it to me.

Yeah, yeah.

This episode really sucks.

I'm sorry.

We're sorry.

Next week,

we're going to give you

reviews of the Xbox 360

when we get it,

and we're going to have

awesome stories

of how we had to fight off

homeless people to buy it,

and Kevin will talk about

something interesting.

I'm sorry.

No, I won't.

All right.

Good night.

Good night, all you people.

Do you have any other gay people?

Oh, and don't forget

to email us at...

Which no one has, by the way.

I think one person did,

but they didn't do it correctly,

so I can't read their email.

Because we're going to be

giving away

Delta Force Blackhawk

down for the PS2

or a T-shirt.

That's not designed.

Yeah.

So, you can email us

at dman321 at cox.net

and just send us an email.

Just write us anything

and we'll read it on the air.

And if yours is picked,

which it might as well will be

if you're the only one running in,

you will receive the video game.

So, all right.

This is...

You've been listening to Owned.

Three guys talking about stuff.

We're supposed to be playing...

Three guys talking about

absolute crap.

Absolutely nothing.

We're supposed to be playing

Counter-Strike,

but we stopped it

after the first episode.

So, all right.

Good night, you guys,

and see you later.

What do you want me to do?

All right.

That would be a good thing

to end it with.

What do you want me to do?

All right.

I'll hit the button.