Pumpkin Mode!

Hi, this is Norm Augustinus.

I'm sorry I missed your call.

You have to tone and leave your name and number.

I'll get back to you.

Hi, Norm.

I hope you are well.

I hoped you would answer your phone, but since you didn't,

I'm leaving you this message on your telephone answering machine.

Norm, when I was a teenager, I went trick-or-treating with my parents.

I went door-to-door in my neighborhood while my mom and dad waited for me on the sidewalk.

I went to many houses, but one house in particular stands out.

Here's where my story begins.

Norm, when I got to the front door of the house in question,

the door was open and there was a hand-painted sign hanging from a string that read,

Bob for apples, inside.

I like bobbing for apples, so I went inside the house

and I lowered my head into a large plastic bucket filled with apples and water.

It was Halloween and I was going to get an apple.

Norm, when I lowered my head into the big bucket,

someone pushed a rubber device.

into my mouth.

The device was connected to an air hose.

It was some kind of scuba diver mouthpiece regulator.

Someone wanted me to be able to breathe while my head was underwater.

Norm, I couldn't lift my head out of the water.

Someone was clutching onto my hair from inside the bucket.

As I stood there bent over with my ass aimed upward and out,

I felt someone or something tear my hot pants and panties off.

It was at that moment that I realized this wasn't a free bobbing

for apples homeowners association neighborhood thing.

It was a sex thing.

It was about pussy.

It was about stink stars.

My pussy.

My stink star.

And then I felt a sharp powerful jab to my genitals.

I was a virgin, but I knew about sex.

Norm, I was taking dicks.

Lots and lots of dicks of all shapes and sizes.

While my head was underwater, I came dozens of times.

Floating apples slammed into my head again and again.

When my exhalation bubbles rose to the surface of the water and popped,

you could hear my

grunts and moans.

I took thousands of dick strokes from hundreds of men over a period of about 20 minutes.

Norm, I was in pleasure overload.

The final powerful orgasm was a 6.9 body tremor on the Richter scale.

My body rocked, reeled and shuddered.

My legs shook uncontrollably.

I was covered in goose pimples.

Norm, do you know that scene in the movie Jaws,

where the woman is pulled underwater by the shark and she is bit in half?

The sounds of her underwater screams

were horrifying.

The final coming sounds I made as I came with my head underwater in the bucket of apples

were like the screams the woman made in Jaws as she was cut in half.

Norm, that's when I blacked out.

When I regained consciousness, a police officer told me that I'd been banged out

by 152 costumed pin-dicked boys and 53 hugely hung fathers.

The fathers were accompanying their sons while they were out trick-or-treating.

Additionally, 17 lesbians using strap-on dildos also crammed my sweet pussy.

The owner of the house changed the sign that was hanging at the front door.

It wasn't about bobbing for apples anymore.

When my head was in the bucket, the original sign was replaced and the new sign read,

Get young tight pussy inside only $10, happy Halloween.

The owner of the house was arrested.

All I wanted to do was bob for apples, but I ended up getting hammed,

crammed and jammed by everyone within a five block radius.

I was told this pervert pulled in over $2,000 in profit that night.

I have an audio clip.

It's a video clip of what it sounded like as I was getting porked in that house.

I'll play it now.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

the end of the audio clip. Norm, I couldn't walk for 11 weeks. When I finally did walk,

I walked bull-legged. I'm afraid of water now. I bathe using wet wipes. If I see an apple my

eyes roll back and I pass out. Any television show that features scuba divers causes me to vomit.

I hate Halloween. I hate trick or treaters. My father bought the bobbing for apples bucket from

the man that owned the house. My dad hung it from my bedroom ceiling using a long piece of rope.

Because my story got national coverage, my mother sold the water that was in the bobbing for apples

bucket online and called it Sarah's stink water. My black half-sister calls me cunt apple to this

day. Norm, I'm telling you this story in the hopes that it will help your female listeners.

Girls, watch out when you bob for apples this Halloween. You could end up taking a lot of

unexpected meat. I did. Now I must go.

Norm, I call all the time, but you never call me back.

What gives?

All my friends call me cum panty.

You can call me cum panty too.

I just shit.

I was dusting the shelves above my daughter's goldfish bowl and I accidentally shit into it.

All the water was forced out of the goldfish bowl and her goldfish is covered in a mountain of

dung.

I have irritable.

Bowel syndrome.

I guess I shouldn't walk around the house naked.

Sorry about that.

Bye.

End of messages.

He wishes he could have killed his grandmother.

His mother says everything he touches turns to shit.

He's been to jail, spent 24 hours in a mental institution, and unsuccessfully tried to kill

himself three times.

And now, live via the internet, apps are fucking looting free.

Norm Augustinus.

Give me a couple seconds.

You see, you have to understand, right off, that chicks right now are in pumpkin mode.

Oh, fuck.

Son of a bitch, man.

Always playing around with a fucking gun.

One of these days, I'm going to blow my head off.

What are the odds, man?

I just shot a goddamn hole right through the tube of pussy lubricant that I used on Sigourney

Weaver's cunt in 2012.

It was special to me, man.

God damn it, man.

It was special.

I always liked Sigourney Weaver, man.

Her cunt was a little dry, but we got through it.

I'm not shitting you.

She lives in New York.

Has an apartment there.

I banged her out.

I had to use a tube of gel on her.

Lube.

Fucking thing was special.

She signed the goddamn label, too.

I used half the tube on her cunt.

I ain't got nothing now.

It's fucking actually leaking out the bullet hole.

Great.

Just great, man.

Motherfucker.

Life's about loss.

That's what they say.

It's okay.

It's about loss.

Let it go.

Just let it go.

Fucking all brown around the label.

Can't even read her signature now.

A little fire started there because of the bullet.

It's hot.

Always playing well with guns.

I'm going to shoot myself one day in one of these recordings.

Damn it.

All right.

Let's get back to the recording.

Let's get back here.

Shit happens, doesn't it?

They say shit happens.

Whatever that means.

Let's get back to...

What was I talking about?

Let's get back to pumpkin mode.

Let's get back to pumpkin mode now.

Let's move on.

Worry about the lube later.

Just stuff my end of a sock in the bullet hole through both ends of the lube.

I don't want to waste it.

It's a memory, man.

Let's get back to pumpkin mode, what I was talking about.

Pumpkin mode.

And what am I talking about?

I'm talking about Halloween.

Halloween, the holiday.

It's upon us.

It's come again.

Please understand, fuckstick,

that chicks have bought really cool winter boots.

Over the summer.

They've been salivating to wear these boots

because they think you're going to see them.

And they could get...

They've been salivating over the winter coat they bought with a fur collar.

Over the summer, they bought it.

And when you see it, they think they might get...

They've been salivating over the scarf they've bought for winter.

They look just like an advertisement.

And that's how their mind works.

They've been salivating.

They've got a scarf.

They've got a coat.

They've got special winter boots.

And they've got gloves with fur on the end of them.

Actual fur.

All fucking winter, they've been waiting to wear these.

Because why?

They were going to wear it.

And all summer, they've been wanting to wear these.

Because why?

Because it's now fucking...

It's now pumpkin time.

It's October, right?

And they think if they wear this outfit,

they could get a winter dick.

A fall and autumn dick.

It's romantic.

Look what I got.

Look at my cool coat.

I saw it in a commercial and I had to have it immediately.

Look at my cool scarf.

I saw it on fucking an ad online.

I had to have it immediately.

Look at my winter-autumn boots.

I had to have it immediately.

I bought them all.

It's what's going to make me the person I am this fall.

Hot chocolate.

Cocoa.

All kinds of...

Pumpkins.

All kinds of stuff to do with Halloween parties.

And they want these clothes.

Because why?

Because they want your dick.

And you hear the way I say dick.

Excuse me.

I say dick properly.

I say the dick hard.

The D.

And then I slide through the I.

And I slowly start to come up with a C.

And when I hit K, I really put it on.

Dick.

You have to say it like that.

That's how you say words.

They're all gearing up.

For what?

Pumpkin season.

Look at pumpkin season.

I'm going to get me some winter dick.

I'm going to get me some fall dick.

This is how chicks think.

And I'm telling you this to help you get abundant amounts of pussy.

This winter.

I'm telling you this.

How to do it.

To get all kinds of pussy.

To understand the stupidity, the ignorance of what they're doing.

They don't know they're doing it.

They've been controlled by TV commercials and advertisements forever.

They see it.

They freeze.

They have to have it.

Unlike a man.

They eat a pizza and watch something on TV and whack off.

That's it.

They wake up.

They're happy.

Geez, I woke up.

They've been buying this stuff gearing up.

Because why?

Because chicks go in cycles.

They call them slutty summers.

Now they're going to get all kinds of dick in the summer.

Now they got October.

They're going to get dick then.

They're going to gear up to try to find men in these different cycles.

Summer.

Fall.

Winter.

Autumn.

These are the areas.

These are the seasons.

They keep changing their attire.

They keep changing their attire to try to draw you in.

To get some dick.

They want dick abundant amounts of dick.

It's no coincidence that a chick is attracted to a pumpkin.

Look at your dick head.

It looks just like a pumpkin, doesn't it?

It's just like it.

They see the pumpkin.

They see a dick.

They see your dick in their butthole.

They see your dick in their cunt.

Deep.

I mean really fucking deep.

You know the deeper you go with a dick,

the more endangered.

You are to getting this whore pregnant because now your dick head has gone

through her cervix and it's right on top.

The egg tree.

You're going to get in trouble.

They can't miss an egg.

You're going to get in trouble.

Can't miss an egg to go deep.

They're all gearing up using a fucking fall.

They got their clothes ready.

Their boots ready.

Some chicks get excited and you'll see him wearing in a winter outfit.

When it's 80 degrees out, it might be in October and 80 degrees.

They're wearing that come hell or high water.

I'm wearing it.

I got to get me a winter.

I got to get me a fall dick.

I got to go ice skating with my fucking some dude.

I find I haven't found him yet, but I know I'll find him.

I got to go ice skating and he's going to go to a fucking box near the ice skating rink and buy me hot chocolate and maybe a donut.

They see this.

This is the hell they live in.

It never ends.

It's like they've gone to hell.

They don't know they're there yet.

They're there.

I want to go ice skating.

I can see me and my lover.

We're going to go down a hill in some park to in a toboggan and we're going to fall on top of each other.

We're going to start laughing.

This is this shit.

They sell a woman and you've got to do this.

You imbecile.

Why?

Why are you like a puppet was fucking strings?

We're going down the hill in a toboggan.

We're on a sled.

Look at us laughing.

She won't really want to go ice fishing or a shanty in an ice fishing shanty.

That's not for her.

A chick doesn't want to go.

Ice fishing in a shanty because why?

Because as soon as that cunt turns on and it smells dick that close, it's going to start to stink up the area.

This high potency smell because that's what draws dudes in and you're going to maybe die inside the shanty of asphyxiation coming from her pussy.

They don't want to be caught that my cunts on that.

I'm turned on.

I don't want anybody to know that.

When you see a chick and she's in a store and she's buying special boots for the winter.

Really cool.

It boots understand that she's there thinking of dick your dick my dick.

She's thinking of the dick.

She's going to take I'm going to take this dick.

I know I'm going to get it and these boots are going to help me.

Can you imagine people in China making fucking these boots have no idea that a chick is using the boot to take a dick.

There they are.

Oh, I see.

Uh-huh.

Take a dick boot.

I saw it for weather notes to take a dick imbecile.

It's a take a dick.

She's getting a scarf and she says this thing will really fucking compliment me as I'm walking around men will see it.

They'll see I'm hip.

I'm in charge.

I'm in control of life though.

The reality is she doesn't work and she owes $75,000 in a sick car payments from fucking she hasn't paid.

It's going to be repossessed.

They don't see that they think this I'll meet a dude even though they all tell us that we're all working and they're not I'll meet a dude.

He'll fix all that shit for me.

No, I won't.

Once I've blown my load up your crapper.

I'm fucking gone.

You know that song I sing 18 inches in your crapper.

Don't you look mighty dapper?

You know, I get requests for that all the time.

That's what you think.

That's your motto.

No, it's not to abuse a woman.

It's not to exploit her.

It's to do what you're supposed to do, which is fuck and understand how to get pussy as fast as you can instead of blowing your load into the air.

You know molecules that are floating in the air and shit.

They actually have living shit in them molecules living bacteria microscopic when you blow your load in the air.

It's not just going in the air.

You're hitting this shit.

They don't tell you that stuff.

You're hitting it.

You're causing collisions and accidents and all kinds of shit organisms to act funny because your loads in the air.

She's buying all this stuff a special pair of fucking snow pants a special pair of fucking snow shirt snow coat like she's on a ski skiing.

She's going skiing.

She got skis.

She's going to roll into somebody.

They're going to crash together in the fucking woods at the bottom of the hill and it's going to develop into a big love story and she's going to you're going to marry her.

You're going to pay all her bills.

That's what really is going on.

Dad pays the bills and he passes around to you to pay all her fucking bills.

But that's not it's not how it is.

Accordingly what I'm reading.

They're all working and flourishing.

Why do they want you for dick?

Not really dick initially for the 10-year window when their eggs are thriving.

When their eggs are on fire inside their box to make a kid.

Look at what they're doing to that.

So this is the chick says this to you get the fuck out of there.

She says this you just meet her.

What do you like to do Madison?

Well, she says this well,

You get the fuck out of there.

You know what travel costs?

Travel costs $10,000, $15,000.

That's what travel is.

Well, I like to travel.

You're never traveling with me.

You see the White Castle across the street?

We're going to go over there, motherfucker, and we're going to have some chicken rings.

That's where we're going to travel to.

I'm not paying you $10,000, $20,000 to travel somewhere else

when people are exactly the same there as they are here.

They're shitting, they're fucking, they're sleeping, and they're working.

I like to travel.

When she says I like to travel, what it really means is this.

I want some poor motherfucker making minimum wage to wait on me while I'm traveling.

I can feel special.

I can feel big.

Look at this.

I'm living classy.

You know that 97% of chicks that travel, when they come back,

they suffer extreme depression because now they're back into reality,

which you can handle perfectly.

Oh, my God, I'm back.

I'm fucking back.

Look at that.

A junky-ass car that needs a muffler just drove past me.

And look at that.

There's two fucking, look at that.

There's three fucking people pulling a train over there by the fucking wall

on Central Park across from 240 Central Park South.

And look at that.

I got to go back and travel.

What they're saying is they got to go back and travel to something else

that can take them away from the reality, the mundacity of what they live.

Well, I like to travel.

Forget it.

Get out of there now.

Just get out.

You have to understand.

The fall is pumpkins.

It's parties.

They try to change it.

Years ago, Halloween was about kids.

Today, Halloween has been absconded by chicks who've turned it into a day of sluttiness,

extreme sluttiness.

I don't even know if it applies anymore.

They're already there anyways year-round.

That's what they've done.

They've taken it away.

It's not when I was a kid.

When I was a fucking kid, I put a skeleton outfit on that cost 10 cents at the Salvation Army

when you could afford the Salvation Army.

I went around.

I'm looking.

I'm looking for candy.

I never thought of fucking pussy.

I never thought, hey, it's candy.

Look at me.

I'm going door to door.

It's candy.

I stand at their front door.

The door's open.

And what was a joy to me was to smell their house indoor, whatever that was how they lived

in their house.

The smell would hit you.

You could smell vegetable soup.

You might smell sausages.

You might smell a cereal-like smell.

It was all different.

That was a treat to me.

Their door's open.

I can smell this family, how they live, how their house is taken in these odors, absorbed

them, and are giving them back to me.

Giving me is a gift.

Well, I like to travel.

And they have to have these outfits.

They have to have the boots.

They have to have the scarf.

They have to have all of it.

Special HD makeup.

And why?

It's not to draw on a woman.

How could it be to draw on a woman?

She can't support her.

They're not going to support each other.

She's not out there to draw on a woman.

She's out there to draw in you, imbecile.

You're a proven rube.

You know, as soon as they realize that you might know the things that I know, that you

might...

One of these things.

She's gone.

She'll test you.

She's gone.

She'll slip something like this.

When you're out with her, it's Halloween.

When you're out with her, you might say this.

She says, yeah, you know, I like working and all.

But, you know, it really starts to get tiring.

She wants you to say this.

Well, you know, I think women shouldn't have to work.

And I'm all for women not working.

As soon as you say that, you're in.

You're the one.

You've won the big grand prize.

Here's what I say when she says that.

Well, you know, I don't really like to work.

And I'm hoping one day I can cut it out or slow it down.

I say to her through this.

Well, you know, you can maybe get a part-time job.

Two part-time jobs.

That'll be a lot easier.

As soon as you say that, she's fucking gone.

Get two part-time jobs.

You know, that's like not a real full-time job.

You could ask your boss to cut you down to fucking 37 hours.

That's part-time.

How's that sound?

They don't want to hear that, stupid.

Do they?

No.

See, it's Halloween.

It's Halloween.

If you understood the secrets of Halloween, what you could gain at Halloween,

how much pussy you could get, truckloads of pussy, abundant fucking amounts of pussy,

train cars full of fucking pussy.

If you understood this, then you'd know the secret.

You'd know what you're doing.

You'd know where to go.

You'd know how to control the situation.

Once you know the secret, as I always say, you're in control of the situation.

You're the boss.

You make the moves.

You make things around you happen because you know the secret.

And that's what this recording's about.

I share you with these things because they're proven, and I've done them for fucking years.

I know the secret.

I shouldn't be giving this shit out.

And that's what I'm doing.

I'm giving it out.

I'm giving it out for free.

Why?

Because I love you.

And I know you love me.

I've been giving it out for free for 25 fucking years.

This is the longest-running podcast.

Don't let anybody bullshit you.

Go look up when my podcast was started.

The longest-running podcast on the fucking Internet.

Do they?

Do they give your correspondent Norm Augustinus props?

No, they don't.

Because they can't be me.

If you've got somebody very talented, you want to ignore them because they now show everyone how fucking obtuse you are.

That's how it works.

But you know.

And we've got this connection.

We've got this group, this special fucking club that we go to every goddamn week at the big clock where you are always welcome,

where there's a seat for you every time in the front fucking row.

You can't always find a seat for yourself in the front row with other people.

But you're always welcome here, motherfucker.

When you hear that fucking chiming clock, understand it's time to fucking really live.

Time to understand.

Here it comes for free.

So, I want to tell you something about this Halloween.

Excuse me.

I had some bad weed and the goddamn shit was like smoking wood bark from a tree.

And it just.

just burned the shit out of my throat. I want to tell you about Halloween and what you need

to understand. Halloween is the number one time for you to get pussy. The number one time. And

you maybe are not aware of this. Let's jump into this right away. You take a chick to a pumpkin

patch. It's Halloween. She's got her new scarf on. She's got her expensive boots on. She's got

her $2,000 purse on. She's got all this shit going on. $2,000 boots on, fucking purse or a fucking

clutch. It costs $1,500. You take her to a pumpkin patch. You know what that is. What's a pumpkin

patch? A pumpkin patch is where they grow hundreds of pumpkins. They come out of the ground. They're

created out of the ground. There they are. They expand into fucking big orange ball. And you look

at this pumpkin patch from afar. You're standing there and you think, wow, this is a lot of

pumpkins, man. And she says, yeah, it's a lot of pumpkins. She's looking at these. The first thing

you need to know with this scenario,

with this gaze, as you're standing with your slut, whatever you found on the planet, she's one

of a billion from her line of people. Understand if she's made it this far in her world, if she's

made it to 2024, what does it mean? It means her bitches, the people below her, were fucking evil,

were dangerous, were devilish, were nonstop, kept coming and coming and coming and killing

anybody they had to survive. And that's why she's still here. See, weak strains of

people, weak species, species that can't make it, they die out. But if you meet a bitch in 2024,

understand you've already got a person that thrives. Her chain thrives. Her people survived.

And you're now there somehow thinking you're going to control the situation. You're not.

Men are still here because, man, they don't really, they shouldn't, kind of shouldn't be

here. They take chances. They're fucking filled up with enthusiasms. They think they can do and

kill anybody. They can't. They're more weaker than a female.

You're there now with this chick. I've given you some backstory on her. And you're looking at all

the pumpkins and they're orange. What about an orange pumpkin would turn a chick on? I'm going

to give you a scenario here, an exact scenario, something that actually happened to me. And I've

seen it happen more than once. And why looking at orange or lightly orange pumpkins from afar,

from a distance, from a gaze, you're standing there awing and you're awed and amazed by what

you see. I banged out many women.

Now, remember, I was in Vietnam 18 months. When I say banged out, I'm not bullshitting you.

I banged out once. This is the truth. Maybe there was 150 chicks, fucking VC, in the fucking rice

patty. Everybody in that fucking helicopter, the Huey Bell helicopter, I was a door gunner.

Everybody in there banged out every chick in that rice patty. We had that kind of control.

We wouldn't come till we came to the deluxe model and then we'd blow our load in her.

But I remember banging out at least 150 women one time in a fucking rice,

patty in Vietnam, about 30 clicks from the fucking Da Nang River. Honest to God,

it was incredible. I've got a lot of skill. I've got skill that fucking VC showed me how to have,

how to handle pussy that no American woman could ever handle. Remember, VC at that time,

they lived in fucking tunnels. I learned some shit and I put it together in an American way,

an American understanding that I can deliver to you in the best way I can.

That's just one area, motherfucker. When a chick's gazing out in the orange,

excuse me, she sees all these pumpkins. Now, what happens is this. This is what's happened to me

many times. I've been on my back with my 15.5 pound dick. It's a huge hunk of meat. And I,

honest to God, I do have a 15.5 pound dick. When it's fully extended, it's 14 inches long. I had

it one time weighed by my friend who was a cocaine salesman. And I weighed it on his mechanical scale.

It was 15.5 pounds. That's how big my dick is,

powerful my dick is. And of course, you can understand why I would be in demand by bitches.

They don't know what they're going to get with you. It's potluck. They don't know. They try to

look at it. They try to understand it by gazing at your balls. And they're experts at that.

When they look down at your crotch, you don't even know they're looking and they know how big

your dick is and if they should proceed any further. They look at size very much. I found

a dildo once when I was dumping all kinds of shit when I went to university. It was a summertime.

The semester was over. I was like, I'm going to go to college. I'm going to go to college. I'm going to

We were done for the year. And some bitch had dumped a dildo in the fucking garbage room. It was

laying to the right on the wall. It rolled its way there. And there were pencil marks up and down the

dildo how much dick she could take. That's what you're dealing with. That's the mindset you're

dealing with. So I was on my back. I'm just going to give you one scenario because you can't

understand. I can't give you dozens and dozens of this shit. It's all the same. One will do,

distill down into a tightly conditioned,

dense, firm story, something that you can ingest. I was on my back. The chick was on top of me.

I had all 15.5 pounds of my dick at full erect, 14 inches long. And honest to God,

I got two fistfuls of cum in my balls because I propagate the cum. That's what we are. We

propagate. We manufacture cum to deliver it. If you don't deliver it, what kind of a trucker are

you? What kind of a person are you? You're not moving around delivering your cum. You've got to

deliver it. You've got to deliver it. You've got to deliver it. You've got to deliver it. You've got to

empty it. That's your job. That was your ultimate job to do. She's on top of me. My dick is deep. I

can feel that my cock head and the shaft of my dick has penetrated, gone past her cervix. It is

just right on top of where the fucking eggs are. There's a cervix. That's the little hole there.

My dick went right through the cervix and was right up there where her eggs are up in that area. All

that fucking, that egg tree that holds all the eggs. The egg and the dick head recognize one

another. When she gets up there, she's got to get up there. She's got to get up there. She's got to

get up there. She's got to get up there. She's got to get up there. She's got to get up there. She's got to get up there.

When she gets a lot of dick, the egg likes it, and it sees the dick head, they're friends,

and she gets the same feeling she gets when she meets an old friend she hasn't seen since college

day. The dick head and the egg have the same feeling. Then she feels good overall. That's how

it works. While she's banging me out, while she's moving up and down, doing whatever routine she

does, this routine that she learned from tons of other men, shitloads of other men, since she was

14 years old, she's learned these tricks, these faces, these sounds from other men. You're just

getting stuck. You're just getting stuck. You're just getting stuck. You're just getting stuck.

Sally, and she's performing. She's on stage. Unlike you, you think you're really thrilling

her. You're not, fuckhead. As she's going up and down on my dick, she has her period. I've had

chicks many times. I've banged them out in their period. I don't really care. It somehow seems

even closer, like you're closer to God, like there's been blood spilled, like there's a

sacrifice that's happened here. It's really thrilling, and she's had her period. Now,

period.

My balls. It went all over my balls, and it felt nice and warm, and we fell asleep because I really

wear them out. In the morning when she gets off, when I throw her body off of mine onto the floor

because I'm hungry now, when she gets off, I look at my balls, and what do I see? Well,

the blood's not on my balls anymore directly. It's stained the mattress and gone through five

sheets, and you're never going to get out of the mattress or the foam or whatever you're sleeping

on, but my balls have turned a kind of orange. It's a kind of orange because the blood's not on

the balls anymore. It's turned a kind of orange. Now, she sees this. You see it. She sees this.

She's seen this since she was 14, 13, whatever, hundreds of times as she was getting banged out.

It looks like a fucking pumpkin, doesn't it? It looks like two pumpkins there that are orange

because the blood's gone off. It's kind of weakened itself. It's diluted itself,

the actual pigment, the color, and she sees what? She sees two goddamn pumpkins sitting there just

standing there in a pumpkin patch. She sees this and she starts thinking about taking dick. She

starts thinking about old dicks, favorite dicks, favorite times she's come, most powerful orgasms.

She's looking at pumpkins but can't really connect to the pumpkins in the way you and I do,

which is it's just a pumpkin. Look at the pumpkin. There's a pumpkin. It's a fucking holiday. I put

the pumpkin on the porch. There it is. She sees it as the blood on your balls that turned a kind

of orange.

It sort of turns like a steep suntan or an orangish suntan with fake tanning stuff. It turns

into a kind of orange. She sees it there and as she's standing next to you, fuck's dick,

what happens? Well, her legs are automatic receivers for dick. That's what the legs on a

woman are. They're antennas and they're connected to the earth and they're feeling dick. They're

feeling for dick. That's how they can find dick. I mean, how can a woman go from, let's say,

Michigan to California? How can a woman go from there?

She finds a dick in California because her legs are that powerful. The receiving units are that

powerful. These antennas looking for dick and she went to California and found that dick. It doesn't

matter where it is. They can find a dick with her receiving units, which are their legs, which are

super tuned antenna receiving legs for dick. She's standing there. She starts feeling your dick. She

can tell your dick's filling up with blood. She can feel it much like a robin, a red-breasted robin.

They can tell if there's a worm under them. She can tell if there's a worm under them. She can tell

them or not. She can feel it. They know if there's a worm, the size of the worm, where to go for the

worm, a robin, red-breasted American robin, North American. She can feel the dick in his pants. She

can understand the sizing of it. She can understand if it's filling up with blood. She can actually

smell it because of her super powered nose, which they say women have. And that's solely developed

because it's looking for dick. They're just a dick receiving machine trying to find dick. And yet

you turn it into a very hard thing.

I can't get any pussy.

I can't get any pussy. I don't understand it. The fuck's the matter? Do they make fruit? Am I gay?

I can't get any because you're making it too much of a big deal. You're looking at it too hard.

Relationship and you've got to get her something and buy her something. None of that is necessary.

Their body, first and foremost, is designed to take dick way before they want a ring. They just

want the dick. The ring comes in with you. It's a sort of, here, I've impaled you. Here's a ring,

truce, circle of whatever.

Whatever you say. She can feel all that as she's looking at the pumpkins. Her tits are filling up

with blood. The nipples are rock hard. She's standing there. She's got super fucking wet

panties on now. You know, the panties and chicks clothes, the panties in their drawers. They have

special fiber in the fucking crotch of the thing because their pussy juices would eat a hole through

their fucking crotch, the panties and through their fucking pants in about 60 seconds. This is

not advertised because it would eat a hole through their fucking crotch, the panties and through their

pants. It would make a woman look dangerous. What you know, they are. I mean, they're fucking

dangerous, man. I mean, you know it. I mean, they're fucking can be so dangerous. I mean,

you're fucking literally in danger right now. Somebody's got their sights on you. It's at work.

It's your HR person. They're fucking dangerous. Your neighbor is filing a lawsuit. They just are.

They don't want you to know that their pussy juices can eat through clothes, can eat through

the crotch of pants. They just don't want it. It shows you how dangerous they are. They don't want

you to think they're dangerous. They want you to think they're dangerous. They want you to think

they're this petite little angel who's going to love you forever. And it's not possible for a woman

to love you forever. It's not going to happen. You could be married to her two years. She meets

another guy. He's got 10 times the money you do. And she'll suddenly be gone from you. Yes,

it's about money. How the fuck do you eat if you're in love and you got no money? You don't.

You need to eat to fuel the feeling, the emotion of love, the chemical response of love. You need

to eat. Without eating, you don't have that feeling.

You need to eat. Without eating, you don't have that feeling. You need to eat. Without eating,

she's digging out all the information on you. She knows how much comes in your bag. She knows how

big your dick is. She knows if your fucking heart rate's gone up just from her leg receiving units.

And how'd you start that? You started it by taking her to a pumpkin patch. You've got a pumpkin.

It turns on all bitches the same way. You've got a pumpkin in front of you. This is a key during

October. Now, you can afford all her bullshit with regards to her clothes or fucking her fall

lover and all that stuff she's got to have because you understand the secret of what's going on in

her body. I mean, I don't care how many clothes she has. The fucking clothes are going to end up

in the dryer. The fucking clothes are going to end up in the washing machine. The clothes are

going to end up under her bed or wherever they're going to be. They don't mean shit anyway because

the clothes will eventually dry up and rot and be discarded. That ain't worth shit. They're

temporary. They're nothing. It's long term.

It's you and I. You and I pounding away at the pavement in how to work this system,

how to work this life, how to get fucking truckloads of goddamn pussy. You know how to

say pussy? You don't say pussy like pussy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They were talking about pussy and stuff.

That's not how you say it. Pussy wants to be impaled. Pussy wants 14 inches. You wouldn't

say pussy like that, would you? You'd be some kind of weirdo, some kind of fruit. Pussy. That's how

you say it. Pussy. I want some pussy. Now, you can say it like that. You can say it like that.

You can taste it. You can smell it. You can feel it. It's there. Pussy. She's felt all this stuff

out on you as you're standing there and you're still standing there. And you know what you say?

Excuse me. You say this. Should we buy one? Should you buy one? Do you want to get a pumpkin? Do you

want to pick it out? You want to get a pumpkin? You want to pick it out? That's what you say.

That's not what you say. She's so fucking hot standing there right now because of the images

mudstained balls. She just wants a dick in her crapper. She wants to take the dick in her

crapper. 18 inches in your crapper. Don't you look mighty dapper. That's what she wants.

She wants to take the dick. Hang on a second. Just adjust the microphone. She wants to take

the dick. It's a crapper. She wants it. 18 inches. She doesn't care about you buying one. Yeah,

that helps. That helps develop your relationship. That helps develop. Wow. There's a part in her

mind that says, what a lovely man. We're going to go home. We might carve a pumpkin together.

Isn't that something? We're going to carve a pumpkin. We're developing something here. It's

lovely. She sees us in a commercial. I like that. You know what she really wants? Goddamn dumbass.

I want to dick in my ass now. I'm so fucking horny. I want to dick up my crapper. I want to

dick in my fucking brown eye, my stink star. I want the dick in my

ass now. That's what she's thinking. But you said, would you like to buy one? Did you want to

pick one out, Marcy? Let's go pick one out. You don't say something like that. She's turned on.

She's on fire. You're on fire. It's time to fuck. Just drop your clothes right there and start

fucking. When you're done fucking, you can throw the pumpkin at her. You can chase her. She's naked

running through the pumpkin patch and you're chasing her with tiny pumpkins and you're

threatening to knock her the fuck out, knock her unconscious. She's running through the pumpkin

patch and pumpkin.

Cunt and fluid juices and cum's dripping out of her fuck hole as she's running. And she likes that.

I'm going to knock you the fuck out with this goddamn baby pumpkin.

I don't knock you out. You hear me, slut? And now they're getting turned on. They're beyond

turned on. They're running through the pumpkin patch, screaming for goddamn help. Her scarf's

not with her anymore. Her fucking $2,000 boots aren't with her anymore. Her fucking $1,400 coat's

not with her anymore. Her $700 designer gloves and the fur fucking edge is not worth her anymore. Now

it's all shit and real. That's a good fuck. But now I'm going to break this fucking baby pumpkin

over your goddamn head. And she starts running. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Now she's super turned

on. Do I die or do I cum? It's the same thing. Do you want to get a pumpkin? That's you. Wrong

answer. You know, I would get a pumpkin, you'd say.

But I got to tell you, I can smell your pussy from here. I can smell it. You can smell my bag.

Let's get the fucking on. Let's get it on. Let's get it going on. That's what happens when you

take them to a pumpkin patch. You take them to a pumpkin patch. That's what happens. That's a

result. Years and years of study, years and years of experience has shown me this again and again

and again. You tell me, you tell me right back when you take some slut to a pumpkin patch and

you're there supposedly looking for a pumpkin.

You tell me that it didn't work, that you didn't get action that minute. Look at her. Love her.

Take your time paying for. The other thing with a pumpkin is this. You know what's inside of a

pumpkin? This is important shit. What's inside a pumpkin? Pumpkins have seeds in them. Those are

like eggs, pumpkin eggs. Well, her pussy's got eggs in her too. She has a kinship with herself

and the fucking pumpkin. There's eggs in there. When she sees you pull the fucking pumpkin seeds,

out of the pumpkin, she gets personally pained and she gets seriously worried and starts to panic

because she sees you yanking the seeds, the eggs out of a pumpkin just so you can carve it. You

know what she thinks then? Oh my God, I'm running out of time. I'm running out of fucking eggs.

That's just what she says. I'm running out of eggs. My fucking womb is emptying. I'm running

out of eggs at a rapid rate. Take dick now. Take it from anybody. Look around, find some dick. Take

it now. That's what she starts thinking.

That's her heart. As soon as you pull the seeds out, there's an opportunity right there.

She doesn't want to lose one more minute with her egg coming out of her cunt again. Five,

10 eggs every goddamn period. She has a million when she's born. By the time you meet her,

she's maybe got three, 400,000. Now she's panicking and you just showed her.

So she wants to take advantage of her pussy. And what happens? The scarf idea is dead. The

coat idea is dead. The boots are dead. Her gloves are dead. She just wants dick.

That's what she wants because you've just shown her with a pumpkin. Now, if you carve the pumpkin

with a big knife and you do it slowly with a big, scary knife, she knows you could go crazy.

Nobody's guaranteed sanity 24 seven for the rest of their life. There's a point when something

could happen when you, when you lose your mind, she sees that knife and she thinks, God, I hope

he's okay. I hope this isn't the moment that he loses something in his mind. Like we all do.

And he says, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

my heart with a knife. And what happens? She starts to get turned on with the idea of her dying

with a dick in her. It's somehow a turn on. They don't know why violence to turn on dick,

big fucking blade. That's why they make horror movies because women are sitting in the audience

and they're soaking wet. And when they're soaking wet, they need to eat. They need to drink.

I'm not getting date. It's like, I'm running a fucking 5,000 mile dash. I I'm so turned on. I,

I've got to have Coca-Cola. I've got to have fucking popcorn. I got a chocolate to sustain

me. I've got a, I've got to have Coca-Cola. I've got to have fucking popcorn. I've got to have

through this fucking movie it's like that they're getting turned on she sees that knife she's

frightened to death and she wants to fuck your brains out i'm gonna go down on him i'm gonna

give him a rim job we're gonna 69 one another we're gonna scissor one another we're gonna do

it all everything and then what's what are we gonna have afterward nothing this empty feeling

i fucked and nothing changed not a goddamn thing in my life changed where'd everybody go

if i've been lied to where'd it all go she sees that pumpkin and she sees you carving the eyes

out she sees you carving the nose and the mouth you know what that reminds her of

she says this to herself he's creating something look at him create that thing he's creating

something he's a good provider we could create something together look at him creating this

orange thing that reminds me of his balls it's all around my pussy he's creating something we

could create something look at him create

that we're gonna create a masterpiece together i'm so goddamn horny

that's me eating pussy you didn't see it but i had my fingers up and i was eating pussy the

special way you you hold your pointer finger and your middle finger he's creating something

the orange ball the seeds look at it oh i i'm gonna start fucking this guy i've got complete

overload he knows every thing he knows he knows every thing he knows he knows every thing he knows

he knows every thing he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows

he's opened every goddamn door to me and how's he opened all these doors me how does he know this i

just thought he was a dummy who would work relentlessly in a factory for forty dollars an

hour and never quit and give me all the money that's what some men do i just thought he was

that i didn't expect much more he's opened every door wow she sees that happening all with just a

pumpkin that's all and then what happens you say to her this

you say to her you know i'm a pretty good cook pretty good cook would you like to take this

pumpkin back to my house why don't we do that my apartment my condo my townhome my flat would you

like to take this back there and we could make together a pumpkin pie would you like to make

pumpkin pie see how he said that pumpkin pie she knows what's between her legs she's turned on

already from the whole setup and you say pumpkin pie pumpkin pie pumpkin pie pumpkin pie pumpkin pie

but you say less with a pumpkin would you like to go back to my house we could make pumpkin pie

pie she knows everyone refers to her pussy as pie and she gets further turned on look at how it's

working look how you're undoing things look at the roadmap we've created the schematics that we've

created look at what we've done here and you'll understand it clearly and it will open up in your

mind you'll say holy fuck i thought norm was insane i thought he was a buffoon i didn't think

he actually knew anything he does know something he doesn't know anything he doesn't know anything

look at the fucking millions of people who reject his ideas for fucking some tv commercial

look at that for some piece of clothing here it is i'm giving it to you look at this priceless shit

you're getting would you like to go back to my house and get some pumpkin pie pumpkin pie the

pie she knows it's her pussy look at that would you like to go get some cider would you like cider

look at that

it's the juice from within the apple and what is the apple your balls she thinks this he wants to

get me give me he wants to buy me the juice from inside an apple i'd like to drink the juice from

inside his apples that are created from his apples i'd like to drink all that she's now

stressed beyond stressed the heart's going

you can't stop her she's on you've hit her in all levels because you know what sex is you know what

sexuality is you know the dynamics the logistics the mechanics because you know the secret

now when she's walking and stuff like that you're walking she walks through the pumpkin patch right

you're walking through the pumpkin patch pretending to look for a pumpkin playing the game

that each one of you were trying to fool each other you're both playing a game but you know

the truth of what's really going on it's difficult but as she's walking through the pumpkin patch

with her fucking two thousand dollar imitation victorian boots from 1850 made from plastic

as you're walking through the pumpkin patch what do you hear well there's all kinds of vines

everywhere pumpkins will grow on vines they come out of the ground they're on vines with yellow

flowers and you're walking through these fucking vines and what do you hear as you're walking

through them trying to pick the ideal pumpkin the ideal ball which you should understand is

she's showing you there she's projecting to you what size balls she wants the pumpkins are hugely

big she likes big balls and all women want a big set of balls it's bizarre it's primitive

it's like some animal thing like two cows fucking or something in a farm they like big balls if she

picks a big pumpkin she thinks that you've got big balls she wants big balls she's let out a piece of

what she really is and you've got that now tuck it away put it in your stomach put it in your crawl

as you're walking through the pumpkin patch you hear this what do you hear you're crunching sounds

your pumpkin sounds the vines they're cracking they get hard they're cracking as you're walking

now why would that do anything sexually why would that do anything sexually for her for you for the

whole setup for the group for the collective that do you the world you're going to create

this seductive world this eventual fuck why would that do anything like that why would it be any kind

of a turn on because everybody knows this when you're fucking when she's on her back when you're

banging her from the rear when you're banging her from the back when you're banging her from the

when her head is hitting the wall of the headboard as you bang her from the rear there's what going

on in her spine all kinds of cracking man one crack after another one vertebrae after another

the gas is escaping as the bone as they turn incorrectly as they bend as they twist the gas

the fluid is escaping from between the disc and it makes a cracking sound and she recognizes that

sound immediately there's the balls there's the cracking sound there's the big balls the indicator

there it all is the orange balls the big balls the indicator there it all is the orange balls

the balls the there it is the seeds she's hearing cracking sounds and she knows it's time to fuck

she's there now there's no more reality to her there's no consumerism there's no fucking plastic

products there's no designer things there's no amazon there's no timu.com she's now reverted

back to what she is and will she'll always be which is a fuck machine that's it she hears the

cracking sound you understand that i hope you do i hope you can understand that i hope you can

understand that. And it equates into fucking as you're looking for the pumpkin. As you're buying

her cider, the juice from within an apple. Would you like some cider? Apple cider? It's squeezed

out of an apple. Well, that's what you do to a man's dick. She plays with your balls. She licks

your balls. She gets it to come. She squeezes the cum out. She's pumping the otter. She's squeezing

the juice out. This is all from a pumpkin. Now try to imagine if it's just from a pumpkin. I'm

giving you this scenario. It's into the billions or trillions of scenarios that can come from any

particular object with regards to fucking, to regards to eating out the concubine, 69ing the

concubine that you have your eyes set on. You have to know this shit. You have to be prepared. It's

your armor. It's your protection. It builds

you up with an exterior of steel or titanium you can't lose walking through the pumpkin patch

look at that isn't that beautiful look at that flower that flower she starts thinking yeah i had

a flower once i had a cherry once it's broke up now the flower the orange flower and the pumpkins

the cherry popped i was no longer flowering but i am with this man now the pumpkin patch is telling

you this whole goddamn thing maybe a white dove flies overhead as you're selecting the perfect

pumpkin she sees that she thinks this is destiny this is an apex we've climaxed we're at the top

this is a signal for me chicks believe all that shit you'll be fucking you take her back because

you're going to make a pumpkin pie you told her that you want a pumpkin pie let's go back and

make a pumpkin pie it's going to be great i did this once

i did it once but i was stupid i admit it i i'm embarrassed i had followed a lot of those steps

and didn't even understand what i was doing didn't understand what was going on the dynamics

the under fucking world of what was going on subconsciously stuff i took the chick back to

my house to make a pumpkin and i never banged her out man she went back to the house to make

the pumpkin to fuck she didn't fuck she i made the pumpkin pie i'm embarrassed to say that

i made the pumpkin pie fuck stick there i said it i said it man i made the pumpkin pie

you take her back to your house this is reviso this is revised all new all new process through

the mind that i have now hours and hours of unbelievable study unbelievable research

dry erase boards wet erase boards all kinds of little pocket journals handwritten when

you take her back to make a pumpkin pie

the pumpkin pie she sees the you you're now you have to here's what you have to do the pumpkin pie

you have to cut it in chunks the pumpkin and then you have to peel off the exterior skin

and then those chunks are put into hot water and they're boiled like 30 minutes once they're boiled

like 30 minutes you then mix the pumpkin mash you mash it up and you add sugar and cinnamon and other

stuff like that to the pumpkin pie mix the actual slop in them that's you know inside the pie the

pie plate the pie pan the dough that's you know the whoa hang on a minute i just saw a bitch run

across my backyard she's trespassing i just got a new rocket launcher i'm gonna take the slut out

sorry about that uh where was i oh yeah

yeah that's crushed and all that shit as you're doing that and she sees that stuff what does she

see

when

and you're showing her the ground-up, the pureed pumpkin pie mash that you've made.

She sees that, and she thinks, excuse me.

She thinks, wow, look at them make that pumpkin pie mash.

Isn't that something?

Look at the pumpkin pie mash.

Look at it coming out.

I remember once when I was banged out so hard, I remember the orgasm that I had so hard,

the meal someone bought me turned into diarrhea.

It turned into diarrhea.

She thinks this, but it was the most powerful orgasm she ever had, so it's not gross.

It's acceptable, and somehow, in the deep recesses of her mind, it's in there, somewhere

with the frontal lobe where the violence is, where it hangs out.

She sees that pumpkin pie mash, and she thinks that.

Wow, look at that.

She also equates it to other stuff.

Look at it.

I had a paper mache thing once in my house by my headboard.

A guy I fucked, he had such a big load, the paper mache thing fell apart about my headboard

and turned into goo like that.

All kinds of memories come flashing back.

She smells of cinnamon.

She smells of sweetness.

It's like a realtor showing the house.

Got to get that.

When a realtor often shows a house, they'll tell you to bake cookies, bake a cake, to

fuck the people who are coming in.

This is a homey place to live.

Look how wonderful it is.

It's homey.

It's home cooking going on.

Welcome to America.

They're conning you.

And that's what a chick thinks.

You've set her up like that.

I'm a realtor, only I'm a prospector for pussy.

I'm a realtor.

Look at me go.

Getting some pussy.

And you tricked her.

All this from a goddamn pumpkin.

You think that's not possible, Norm?

Yes, it is.

Now, we're not done yet.

You cut the fucking horn off the pumpkin, didn't you?

You had to cut the handle off, if you're going to cook it.

You cut the handle off the top.

where the actual plant vine went into the pumpkin and they make this big, beautiful, ornate handle at the top

that we like to hold on to as we pull the cut lid off the pumpkin, the jack-o'-lantern you've carved.

Well, you don't throw that away.

You kind of finesse that.

You aim it towards her.

You show it to her.

You say, isn't that a beautiful carving job?

Look at that lid.

She sees the fucking handle.

She sees this finey, grainy-looking thing.

It's much like a dick.

It could be gray or brown or green, and it looks like a dick that's bent up,

like a dick that's rock hard and it's bent up, got a bend in it.

She starts going crazy inside of her body.

You've got that there.

You've just given her the suggestion from a fucking pumpkin.

She sees not a handle on a pumpkin.

She sees a what?

Yeah, say it correctly.

She sees a dick.

She sees it, and she's going to have it.

They were born to take dick.

They were born for it.

To take dick all the time.

Dick, dick, and more dick.

In cemeteries everywhere.

I've said this before.

There are chicks at the top of the cemetery.

They're in a hill.

They like to be at the high window in the apartment, the high floor.

She's in the cemetery.

You know, I've examined that fluid.

Fluid pours out of the coffins, into the dirt.

I've had my friend.

This is no shit.

In Detroit.

He works for the fucking Detroit Health Department.

And I've had him examine the dirt.

You know what he told me?

In the dirt.

His cum.

His semen.

Now, they've been dead for years.

But the semen is in their body, in their cunt.

And he even fucked before they died.

His semen's slurping down, going down the fucking hill.

Isn't that amazing?

That's what goes on.

Cum coming down the hill.

In a cemetery.

And there you are.

There you are.

Hey, man.

You want to go to the movies?

Hey, what are you doing?

How are you?

This stupid small talk?

What's going on?

How are you?

Talking through electricity.

Electrons, protons, neutrons, negative, positive.

All kinds of energy.

You're talking through that.

That doesn't cut it.

Your real voice has got a special sound.

A special vibrato going on.

It makes a connection with her when you're on top of her.

Why do you think fucking has all kinds of people talking as they're fucking?

They're close range.

Why aren't they talking in the phone?

Each one holding a phone when he's on top of her?

Because the voice close range is what really works.

Not the phone.

Phone distorts shit.

Electricity feels deceived.

It feels like it's been ripped off.

Conned.

Used as a slave.

Electricity is living.

It hates it.

So it distorts your voice.

It'll change your voice in ways that'll make you unattractive to the chick.

Haven't you ever got off a phone and said,

That thing's over.

That's going nowhere.

Holy shit.

Electricity's angry.

Mad.

Now you got all this information.

You got all this.

From a pumpkin.

A fucking pumpkin, man.

Have you ever thought that?

Have you ever done anything like that?

No.

Now when you turn the fucking furnace on.

I mean the stove.

You've got a fire stove.

You've got a gas stove.

You've got an electric stove.

When you turn that on, it makes a warm feeling.

You got the warm feeling.

She's standing by it.

It's heating her up.

You got the smell of the pumpkin cooking.

You got the promise of your dick in there that could impale her and fill her up.

She wants to be filled up.

She's weak in that area.

She needs to have more energy put into her body.

She needs that semen.

What are you waiting for at that point?

What are you waiting for?

I once was in that situation.

Honest to God, I picked a chick up.

I put my finger through her back belt loop.

And I put my finger and my thumb through there.

And I threw over the fucking counter.

And she landed on the glass table.

Honest to God.

Perfect thing.

When she hit the table, her whole pussy area, which was soaking wet, made like a sponge effect.

If you threw a wet sponge on a table.

And pussy juice was all over the.

Glass where she slid and eventually stopped on the glass table.

It was a big long table for a big party that you'd have or a big family at some holiday.

She slid and that whole pussy trail, that juices just went with her.

I could see it.

What did I do?

I walked up calmly, man.

I walked up calmly.

I walked up suavely.

Sophisticated.

Man with talents.

A man with education.

A man with foresight and ideas.

I walked up to it.

And I put my index finger on the glass.

And I moved my finger across the juice.

And I put my index finger on the glass.

And I licked it.

She didn't even get up.

She was still on her stomach with her head turned back.

Looking at me.

She didn't know what happened.

She was ready.

There was no more mind left.

When I licked that pussy juice.

When she saw my dedication.

What I was.

What do you think happened?

Yeah.

We started fucking.

Which is where this was going.

We started fucking.

And it all started with a pumpkin.

And your lame ideas.

You were going to buy her a pumpkin.

You were going to go buy her a pumpkin.

You might have bought her fucking apple cider.

But you would have never thought of what the real effect of apple cider is.

You might have bought her a donut.

But you never would have thought of what the fucking donut is.

The cinnamon hot donut.

During Halloween.

During October months.

October.

You wouldn't know.

All a donut is when they're serving you.

Is showing the chick's asshole.

It's her fucking brown eye.

It's her stink star.

There it is.

She sees it.

It looks like a stink star.

Look at the hole on a donut.

At fucking Halloween in October.

Look at the hole.

It looks just like a stink star.

It's brown and crinkled.

Look around the hole.

It looks like her shithole.

And she sees that.

You see that.

And this unspoken, unconscious, subconscious shit's going on.

You'd have never done that.

Here's you.

You want a donut?

You want a glass of something to drink?

You'd have never put all the shit into it.

You want that?

You want to get that?

We'll go out there and pick a pumpkin.

Can we have a bag, please?

Can we have a paper bag or a plastic bag so we can buy the correct, select the correct pumpkin?

Can you help us out in this area?

You'd have never done that.

It's wonderful.

All the chicks there, they're all sending pheromones out of their cunt.

They're all standing there.

Everybody's all turned on.

It should be a big fuckfest.

But nobody wants to look like a fool.

Nobody wants to look stupid.

I can't make a move.

I'll make a move.

Excuse me.

The light's dark in here.

I got this rechargeable flashlight.

It's gotten dim.

And I lost connection with my dick.

I have to be able to see it.

I got it out right now.

And when my battery goes.

I can't see my dick.

And I can't lose connection with my dick because it's what I am.

It's who I am.

We're partners for life.

Me and my dick.

I protect my dick from disease, from injury, from personal attack.

And my dick provides me, in exchange, it provides me orgasms.

Feelings of pleasure.

Feelings of being a man.

Feelings of identity.

That's what I get from it.

So I have to protect it.

I have to see it all the time.

It can't protect itself.

It can't run away.

Hang on, will ya?

But I protect it.

That's the agreement that we fucking have.

Take your bitch to a pumpkin patch, fuckstick.

you've been listening to the one and only

my dick is enormous there is no escape

we meet at the big clock in cyberspace it's dark out there in cyberspace it's scary out there in

cyberspace you're out there in cyberspace you're frozen with fear you don't know what to do you're

looking up you're looking down you're looking to the right you're looking to the left it's windy

out you don't know what to do you're frozen with fear you don't know what to do you're looking up

frozen. Till eventually and quite abruptly, you hear this distant chiming clock in the background

and you follow the chiming clock until it gets louder and louder and louder, eventually bringing

upon this brightly illuminated place in cyberspace. There are thousands of people there. They're

holding hands. They're smiling. They've been waiting for you. There's that thing that brought

you to this place in the first place. It's a tower, 100, 150 feet tall, brown bricks, tan mortar,

way at the top of this tower is a glass bezel. It's a clock. It's backlit. And above that is

this chimey bell-like thing that brought you to this place in the first place. And you know why

you're at this place in the first place. You're here to clear out your pains, your frustrations,

your aches, your woes, your disappointments, your hurts, the person that died on you,

the ramen noodles you're sick of eating, the credit cards you can't pay off, the apartment

you can't pay for, the house you think you'll maybe

never own, the bitch who left you, the guy who left you. You're here to clear all those pains

and frustrations out. And how do we do that? Well, the moment you heard my voice, you were instantly

and automatically filled up with this highly absorbent, orange-colored solution. It's been

inside your body, sloshing about this entire recording. And now, at the end of this recording,

we lie you gently down, we pop the corks in your toes, and all of that highly absorbent,

orange-colored solution comes gushing out of your body.

Look at it. It's forming a small mini-lake alongside you. It's orange-colored. It's rusty.

It stinks. It's toxic. We shake your feet, getting out the last drops of highly absorbent,

orange-colored solution, and replace the corks in your toes. You can't believe how good you feel.

You feel like you can go on another second, another minute, another day, another hour,

another year, maybe infinitely. It doesn't matter that a friend of yours is making $250,000 a year

and lives on it. You're here to clear all those pains and frustrations out of your body.

You're in a million-dollar house. It doesn't matter that another friend of yours has got the

best-looking bitch you've ever seen, or another friend of yours has the best-looking dude you've

ever seen. None of that shit matters. All that matters is how good you feel right now. You know

you can feel this good any time you want to, any time you're in duress, any time you feel like you

can't go on another second. All you gotta do is think of the big chiming clock in cyberspace,

where you meet your pal, your friend, Norm Augustinus. And instantly,

and almost automatically, you'll feel refreshed and clear. You know the best part of this recording,

the most important part of this recording, at least to me, is that for one hour, we were friends.

Friend, I enjoyed myself. I hope you did too. Write me, normaugustinus at gmail.com.

Tune in again for another exciting episode from the amazing mind of Norm Augustinus.

Dick. The dick pumps air into the pussy as it moves in and out of the snatch. This trapped air,

when released from the cunt, also known as a pussy fart, will create a huge pussy fart bubble

if the woman is underwater. All 127 women were blowing pussy farts as they floated to the bottom

of the ocean. I want to mount an extensive expedition and find these pussy fart bubbles.

The pussy fart bubbles usually get hung up under rocks,

ledges, and caves underwater. But because the Titanic is still somewhat intact,

I believe I will find dozens of intact pussy fart bubbles trapped inside the hull of the Titanic.

My hope is that I can collect these intimate pussy fart bubbles. Once in my possession,

my team will use specialized tools to examine the contents of that pussy fart bubble.

I will look for traces of DNA, hair,

scabs, skin, fecal matter, semen, blood, and more. Once the results are in,

my team will make a full-body clay model of the woman and of the man, including his dick,

that the woman was fucking while on the Titanic. I need to raise 1.2 million dollars. I have heard

you won the lottery. Get back to me if you can help. Love, Norman. P.S. I bumped into your big

little sister at the pumpkin farm.

Off 131. Your big-titted little sister sucked my cock and I ate her out. And then we 69ed and

scissored one another. Another flat-chested girl that works at the pumpkin farm showed up. And I

gave your big-titted little sister and the flat-chested girl robust rim jobs and invigorating

wine enemas. When a customer pulled into the pumpkin farm wanting a pumpkin, the girls ran

after them. And they were yelling and waving their arms. And they were yelling and waving their arms.

And their swollen pussies were jutted out as they ran after the car.

Attention, Titanic store shoppers. This is Baloney Pony, the Titanic store manager.

Folks, right now we're selling pussy fart bubbles extracted from the hull of the RMS

Titanic that sunk in 1912 in the North Atlantic Ocean. Folks, these pussy fart bubbles were

blown out of an actual female passenger's cunt as her dead body floated to the sea bottom.

What does that mean for you? What it means, ladies and gentlemen, is that the woman was

likely fucking as the ship was sinking. Air was pumped into her pussy by a hugely hung man

that she picked up who was also a passenger on the RMS Titanic. The pussy fart bubble is sealed

in a transparent hardened gel and comes in a custom wood-framed plexiglass case. I've been

that you can break open the case and pop the bubble.

If you want to go back in time and smell the putrid gas

trapped inside the dead woman's pussy fart bubble,

these pussy fart bubbles are priceless.

Hurry, I've only got 10 authentic Titanic pussy fart bubbles to sell.

They're only $99.

On a side note, my assistant Mandy Phelps has just shit

into the opening where the VHS tape is inserted

on our Panasonic 993A VHS player.

Does anyone have a wet and dry vacuum in their car?

Please help me.

This has been Baloney Pony, the Titanic store manager.

That is all.

Fuck!

Ugh!

Fuck!

Ugh!

Fuck!

Ugh!

Fuck!

Ugh!

Fuck!

Ugh!

Women are constipated three times more than men.

When you're walking down the halls

and your balls hit the walls,

it's a rupture.

It's a rupture.

Ugh!

Shit!

It's a rupture.