#74 radio

お前にこの意味がわかるか

Do you understand the meaning of this?

自分が今どうなっているか

What I'm like now.

ろくにまだ判断できずにいる幼い子供が

A young child who is still unable to make proper judgments.

暗くて寒いトイレの中で

In the dark and cold toilet.

苦しみに破れんばかりの胸を

A chest on the verge of breaking from suffering.

そのちっちゃな拳で叩いたり

With that tiny fist, you hit or punch.

目を真っ赤にさせ

With eyes turned bright red.

誰を恨むでもなく

Without blaming anyone.

おとなしく涙を流しながら

Silently shedding tears.

自分を守ってくださいと

Please protect yourself.

神様にお祈りしている

I am praying to God.

お前にこんな馬鹿げた話が理解できるか

Can you understand such a ridiculous story?

お前は言ってみれば

You could say that you are...

俺の友達だし弟だ

He's my friend and my little brother.

そして神に使える

And serve God.

従順な見習い層でもあるわけだが

They are also obedient apprentices.

そういうお前にこんな馬鹿げた話が

To someone like you, such a ridiculous story...

何のために必要なのか

What is it necessary for?

作られているか

Are they being made?

なんてことが理解できるか

How can I understand something like that?

聞くんだ

I'm listening.

人は皆永遠の調和を苦しみで

People are all suffering in eternal harmony.

あがなうために苦しまなければならないとしたら

If we must suffer in order to redeem ourselves.

子供はそれにどう関係する

How is that related to children?

どうだ一つ答えてくれ

How about it? Answer me one thing.

なぜ子供たちは苦しまなくちゃならなかったのか

Why did the children have to suffer?

何のために子供たちが苦しみ

"For what purpose do children suffer?"

調和をあがなう必要などあるのか

Is there really a need to seek harmony?

まるっきりわかんないじゃないか

I completely don't understand it.

一体何のために子供たちは

What on earth are the children for?

誰かの未来の調和のための人柱となり

Becoming a human pillar for the future harmony of someone.

自分をその肥やしにしてきたのか

Have you been using yourself as that fertilizer?

人間同士が何らかの罪の連帯責任を負うというのは

The concept that human beings bear collective responsibility for some kind of sin.

俺にもわかる

I can understand too.

復讐の連帯責任ということだって俺にはわかる

I understand that there is solidarity in revenge.

だが子供たちが罪の連帯責任を負うというところは

However, the part where children bear the collective responsibility for the sins is...

俺はわからない

I don't understand.

仮に子供たちも父親たちのあらゆる悪について

Suppose the children are also aware of all the wrongdoings of their fathers.

父親たちと連帯責任があるというのが真実だとしたら

If it is true that there is joint responsibility with the fathers.

もちろんそんな真実はこの世のものとは言えないし

Of course, such a truth cannot be said to exist in this world.

そんな真実は俺には理解できない

I can't understand such a truth.

でもひょっとすると

But perhaps...

どこぞの御調子者がこんなことを言い出すかもしれないな

Someone might say something like this, you know, a certain charmer.

子供たちだっていずれ大きくなれば

The children will eventually grow up too.

罪を犯すことになるとかね

It means "It might lead to committing a crime."

でも実際にその子供は大人になっていないじゃないか

But that child hasn't actually grown up yet.

あの子は8歳で犬に噛み殺されたじゃないか

That child was killed by a dog at the age of 8, wasn't she?

ああ両者俺は神を冒涜しているんじゃない

Ah, both of you, I'm not blaspheming against God.

俺には宇宙が震えるっていう状態が

I have a state where the universe trembles.

どんなものかわかるんだよ

I can understand what kind of thing it is.

その時天上と地上の万物はこぞって

At that time, all things in heaven and on earth gathered together.

称賛の声を上げ

Raise voices of praise.

生きとし生けるものがこう叫ぶんだ

All living things cry out like this.

俺は神を冒涜しているんじゃない

I'm not blaspheming against God.

主よあなたは正しい

Lord, you are righteous.

なぜならあなたの道が開かれたのですから

Because your path has been opened.

とな

It's a colloquial expression often used to mean "Okay" or "Sure."

で母親が犬に我が子を引きちぎらせた迫害者と抱き合い

And the mother embraced the persecutor who had her child torn apart by a dog.

母と子と迫害者の3人が涙ながらに

A mother, her child, and the persecutor weeping together.

主よあなたは正しい

Lord, you are righteous.

と声を合わせて叫ぶ時にだ

It's when we shout together in unison.

もちろん認識の頂点というべきものが

Of course, it should be called the pinnacle of recognition.

その時訪れ

The time of visit.

全てが説明されることになるんだ

Everything will be explained.

しかしここのところが難点なんで

However, this is where the difficulty lies.

俺はとてもじゃないがそんなことは受け入れられない

I certainly cannot accept something like that.

だからこの地上にいる間

So while I am on this earth

俺は急いで自分なりの手段を講じようと思うんだ

I plan to quickly take my own measures.

いいか両者

Listen up, both of you.

この俺がその時まで生きながらえるか

Will I be able to survive until that time?

そいつをこの目で見るために復活するようなことが

"To be revived just to see that thing with my own eyes."

本当に起こるかもしれない

It might really happen.

でもしその母親とその子供と

But if that mother and that child

迫害者とが抱き合っているのを見て

Seeing the persecutors embracing each other.

自分もみんなと一緒に

I want to be with everyone too.

主よあなたは正しい

Lord, You are righteous.

と叫ぶようなことがあるとしてもだ

Even if there are things that make me want to shout.

俺はそうなっても叫ぶ気はないぞ

I won't scream even if that happens.

まだ時間があるうちに俺はさっさと自衛策を講じて

While there's still time, I'll quickly take measures to protect myself.

最高の長男ってものをすっぱり跳ねつけてやるんだ

I'll completely shake off what it means to be the perfect eldest son.

そんなものは

Such a thing is.

ちっちゃな拳で自分の胸を叩き

With tiny fists, I pound my chest.

臭い便所で涙を流して神様に祈っていたあの

I was crying and praying to God in that stinky bathroom.

散々苦しめられた子供の一粒の涙だって

Even a single tear from a child who has suffered greatly.

値するものか

Is it worth it?

そう値しない理由ってのは

The reason it doesn't deserve that value is...

子供の涙が何一つ償われていないからなのさ

It's because no child's tears have been compensated for anything.

あの涙は償われなくてはならないし

That tear must be compensated for.

そうでなきゃ調和なんてものはありえない

Otherwise, harmony would be impossible.

でも一体何でもって償うのか

But what exactly am I supposed to atone for?

償うなんてことが本当に可能なのか

Is it really possible to atone?

奴らが復讐されることでか

Whether they will be avenged or not.

でも奴らへの復讐が一体何になる

But what does revenge on them accomplish?

迫害者の地獄が何になる

What will become of the persecutor's hell?

子供たちが散々苦しんだ後で

After the children have suffered greatly

何が強制できる

What can be enforced?

それに仮に地獄があるというなら

If, hypothetically, there is a hell...

調和もクソもないだろう

There's no such thing as harmony or anything like that.

俺だって許したいしは抱き合いたい

I want to forgive you and hold you too.

これ以上人間が苦しむのなんて

I don't want humans to suffer any more than this.

まっぴらごめんだからな

I absolutely refuse to accept that.

でもしも子供たちの苦しみがだ

But if the suffering of the children is...

真理を贖うのに不可欠な苦しみの

The suffering that is essential for redeeming the truth.

総額の補充に当てられるんだったら

If it's going to be allocated for replenishing the total amount.

俺は前もって言っておく

I'll say it in advance.

たとえどんな真理だろうが

No matter what the truth is.

そんな犠牲に値しないとな

It's not worth such sacrifices, huh?