#45 欲望に素直になることを目指すアラサー

fumiyu ko

中島とKOの人生戸惑い中

どんな話するかね

What kind of story will we talk about?

最近は

Recently,

それにかぶせるとさ

If you cover it with that...

なんかそういう気持ちにさせるのってさ

It makes you feel that way, doesn't it?

一番中途半端な他人が

The most half-hearted other person.

そういう気持ちにさせない?

Doesn't it make you feel that way?

どういうこと?

What does that mean?

なんかすっごい仲良い人って

Someone you're really close to.

なんか落ち込むとかよりも

Rather than feeling down or anything like that,

あ、あんのかなみたいな

Ah, something like that, I guess.

なんか一回真剣に考えるの

I need to seriously think about it once.

なんか私の場合はね

Well, in my case...

なんだけど

Well, you know...

なんかえ?

What is it?

私ってえ?みたいな

Like, it's just me?

なんかダメなのかな?

Is it not good for some reason?

みたいな気持ちになるのって

It's the feeling of wanting to be like that.

うん

Yeah.

なんか

Something.

あー

Ah-

フィリピンだけど

It's the Philippines, but...

よく私のことを別に知ってるわけでもないみたいな

It often feels like you don't really know much about me.

でも共通点は一定ある

But there are certain commonalities.

なんていうの?

What do you call it?

職場がとか

Workplace or something like that.

あー職場が

Ah, the workplace...

とかなんかそれこそ

Something like that, or something similar.

なんか同じコミュニティに属してたみたいな

It feels like we belonged to the same community or something.

なんかすごい親しいわけではない

We're not particularly close.

中途半端な他人みたいなのに

Like a half-hearted stranger.

なんかぺろってなんか言われて

I was told something like "lick."

あ、あ、みたいな

Ah, ah, like that.

なんか動揺することが

Something that makes me uneasy.

あーあるね

Ah, there is.

多いなってすごい思って

I really think there are a lot.

あー確かにね

Ah, that's true.

うん

Yeah.

確かにね

That's true.

ちょっと中途半端にこう

It's a bit half-hearted like this.

一瞬なんかちょっと私のこと分かってんじゃないかみたいな

For a moment, it felt like you understood me a little.

そうそうこっちもこんな期待を持って

That's right, I'm also having these kinds of expectations.

え?なんかそう見えちゃう私

Huh? Do I look that way to you?

なんかなんかあれなのかなみたいな気持ちになったんだけど

I got a feeling like, I don't know, something like that.

いやいやもうでも最近は

Well, well, but recently...

もうなんか仕事仲間は

I'm starting to feel like my coworkers are...

友達じゃねえと思って

"I don't think we're friends."

あー

Ah~

そう

That's right.

友達じゃねえわ

We're not friends.

仕事仲間だわと思ったら

I thought they were my work colleagues.

最近私は楽になったんですよ

I have been feeling more relaxed lately.

なるほどね

I see.

確かにね

That's true.

みゆさんとこう今人数少ないから

Since there are few people now with Miu-san and Kou.

あ、そう

Ah, I see.

結構密接ですよね多分

It's probably quite close, isn't it?

いやそう

No way.

仕事とその人間性みたいなものを

Something like work and that person's humanity.

そういやー分かってくれますそこ

By the way, do you understand that?

うんだろうなって思う

I think that's probably true.

まあそれが良くもあり悪くもありっていう

Well, that's both good and bad.

そうそうそうなんか別にそれが悪ってことじゃないんだけど

Yeah, yeah, it's not like that's necessarily a bad thing or anything.

なんかやっぱ人はやっぱ適切な距離感があるから健全なんだなっていうのはやっぱ身にしみて思って

I really feel that people need to have an appropriate sense of distance to maintain healthy relationships.

そうこの1年なんかこう

Well, this past year has been something like...

友達ではあるけど仕事仲間みたいな時に

We're friends, but it's like we're coworkers at times.

なんかやっぱ難しいわけ踏み込み方が

It's still difficult, after all, how to get into it.

あー

Ah-

なったら今まで思えば

If it happens, think back to now.

なんかやっぱ適切に仕事として踏み込めるのって

I feel like being able to properly dive into work is important after all.

いや別にこいつに嫌われようが何だろうが仕事だしって

Well, whether this guy dislikes me or not, it’s work, so it doesn’t matter.

うんうんうんうん

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

ある種そういう割り切りがあった時の方が自分を主張できてたし

In a way, I was able to assert myself more when I had that kind of resolution.

こうなんていうの自分の仕事の正義感を

How should I put this, my sense of justice in my work?

プロフェッショナリズムを表明できてたんだけど

I was able to demonstrate professionalism, but...

やっぱそこに別の親しさっていうベクトルが入ると

When another kind of intimacy is added there, it changes the direction.

なんかこう嫌われたくないんだよなって思ってたんだけど

I was thinking that I don't want to be disliked or anything.

嫌われたくないっていうそこの情が入ってきて

The feeling of not wanting to be disliked comes into play there.

なんかすげーそれが難しかった今年だったんですけど

This year has been incredibly difficult for some reason.

そうなんですけど私はそれにその悩みを今年ずっと持ってたんですけど

That's true, but I have been struggling with that concern all year.

ある時元テレ東のプロデューサーの佐久間さん

At one time, Mr. Sakuma, a former producer at TV Tokyo...

本のずるい仕事術っていう本で

It's a book called "The Sneaky Work Techniques of Books."

仕事仲間仕事を通じて仲良くなればいいのであって

It's fine if you become friends through work.

友達になる必要ないって書いてあって

It says that there's no need to become friends.

本当にそうと思って

I really think so.

そこからもうなんか別にこの人友達になりたくて

From there, it feels like this person just wants to become friends.

今この話をしてんじゃないかって思いになってからは

Since I've started to think that I'm talking about this now.

だいぶ楽になりましたね私

I'm feeling much better now.

終盤でしたけどだいぶそう思いながら

It was the final stage, but I was thinking that quite a bit.

意外だわなんかそういうことで

It's unexpected, for some reason.

頭を悩ませてたのが逆に意外だわ

It's surprising that you were actually troubled by it.

そう私もこの悩みは何だろうってなんか

Yes, I also wonder what this concern is about.

あんまりね抱いたことのない悩みだったと

It was a problem that I didn’t really have much experience with.

抱いたことのない悩みだったからすごい

It's amazing because it's a worry I've never experienced before.

えなんだろうって戸惑ってたんだけど

I was confused about what it was.

その基本的なその距離感の問題だったんだなって

It was basically a problem of that sense of distance.

気づいたのが今年でしたね本当に

I really only noticed it this year.

そうなんですよ

That's right.

そんな今年でしたね

It was quite a year, wasn't it?

怒りが原動力

Anger is the driving force.

逆にそのさなんかあの

On the contrary, that kind of...

ゆうの話を奪っちゃったけどさ

I stole Yu's story, but...

逆にみずもはこうなんかこう落ち込むとか

Conversely, Mizumo tends to get down or something like that.

自分を責めるってベクトルに行きやすいんだろうね

It's easy to lean towards blaming oneself, isn't it?

なんかそういうのあるけど

There is something like that, but...

そう思うわそうそうそう思う

I think so, yes, I really think so.

それはあの

Well, that is...

何人と社会に出て周りの人とか見て

"How many people have you seen in society and observed around you?"

なんかみんなクソ偉そうじゃんと思って

I thought everyone was acting really high-and-mighty.

でるうちに

While I am out.

なんかもうしあんしっていう感じが身についてきて

It feels like I've really gotten used to this feeling of being more reflective or cautious.

でもう最終的には全てに怒ってればいいっていう

But in the end, it's okay to be angry about everything.

そこに行き着いたって感じ

I feel like I've arrived there.

わかる

I understand.

なんかわかる

I kind of understand.

基本マウント取ってくんなみたいなのってあるよねなんか

There are definitely things like that, where you feel like someone is trying to establish dominance or control over you.

ね特におじさんとかね

Well, especially uncles, you know.

そうそうなんだよ

That's right.

なんか自然動作がもうマウントだなこの人みたいなのってあるよねなんか

It's like there's this natural way of moving that feels like they're already in control, you know?

そう確かにちょっと待って私さおも…

Sure, just wait a moment, I...

おじさん

Uncle

いいよ何笑ってんの

It's fine, why are you laughing?

違うの違うのなんかおじさんに囲まれすぎちゃってこの

No, no, it's not that. I'm just too surrounded by older men, this...

社会人生活で

In working life.

なんか最近なんかあの今までの人生って圧倒的に女性の中で生きてきたわけじゃないですか

Recently, I feel like I've overwhelmingly lived my life surrounded by women.

あなたそうね

That's right, isn't it?

私がね

It's me.

なんか最近その

I've been feeling a certain way lately.

なんかあんまり女子なんだろうわかんない私の

I don't really understand what it means to be a girl.

なんか会社で女性と

Something about a woman at the company.

数人と和気あいあいみたいな方が

It seems like a friendly atmosphere with a few people.

うん

Yeah.

なんか辛くなってきた

I'm starting to feel a bit painful.

え新しい

Eh, new.

え

Huh?

新しいじゃんえでもその辛さをもうちょっと教えて

Can you tell me a bit more about that spiciness with the new jyan-e?

えわかんないの私もなんかそれがそのおじさん上にいるのが結局おじさんばっかでおじさんってある程度若い女性には甘いじゃん

I don’t really understand it either, but it seems like those older guys are all over the place, and older men tend to be somewhat lenient towards younger women, right?

そうね

That's right.

だからその感覚を得ちゃって

So I ended up getting that sensation.

それが楽ちんだからそれがいいってなっているのか

Is it because it's easy that it's preferred?

うんうん

Uh-huh.

もしくはそのなんだろう

Or something like that.

はい

Yes

割と女性ってなると結局やっぱり同じえっと一般社員一般社員の人間の方が多くて

When it comes to women, it turns out that there are still a lot of regular employees, regular employees.

立場的にも近いから

Because we are in similar positions.

うん

Yeah.

そういう人たちと喋るときの方がなんか気を使ってる

I tend to be more careful when talking to those kinds of people.

うーん

Hmm.

だるいからなのかがちょっとわかんないんだけどどっちもかなでも

I'm not sure if it's because I'm feeling sluggish or not, but maybe it's both.

うん

Yeah.

えでも私すごい思うのはやっぱなんか権力購買ついてる方が

Well, I really think that those who have power and purchasing ability are...

うん

Yeah.

悪じゃない

Not evil.

確かにね

That's true.

もうなんか相手が何したら喜ぶかってなんかわかりやすくない権力購買ついてるときの方がと

When it comes to understanding what makes the other person happy, it's often easier when there's a clear power dynamic in play.

確かに確かにだからか

"Indeed, indeed, is that why?"

うん

Yeah.

し逆にそこがフラットだとなんか共感とか

"And conversely, if it's flat there, it somehow feels relatable."

うん

Yeah.

理解とかに行くから

I'm going to understand it.

うん

Yeah.

なんかでも別に共感も理解もしてないけどそのふりをするっていうことの方が私は人間自分の人間性を阻害してくる感じがあるなんか

I feel that acting like I empathize or understand, even though I really don’t, somehow hinders my humanity.

人間性を阻害してくる感じ

A feeling of obstructing humanity.

そうなんていうのもうさもうああこの人はこうやってこう上におだてられてこうああいいですねいいですねって言われてるのが好きなんだなってわかればさ

Well, if you understand that this person likes being flattered like this, being told "Oh, that's nice, that's nice," then...

うん

Yeah.

まあそれを演説としてこうやってそれをやればいいけれど

Well, you could do that as a speech, but...

はいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes.

なんかなんていうのそうじゃなくて何ていうのこう感情的な労働を強いられるっていうか

It's like, how should I put it, it's not that, it's more like being forced into this emotional labor, you know?

あー

Ah~

そう

Yes.

そうですね

That's right.

なんかもう仕事だからそういうふりをしてればいいということではなく感情的にこっちがこう労働する感じが強くなる

It's not just about pretending to work because it's a job; it makes me feel more emotionally invested in my labor.

なんかちょっと上手く言えないんだけど

I can't quite express it well, but…

いやわかるわかる

Yeah, I understand.

うん

Yeah.

まあそこまで何かその喋ってるときにああ私は労働するっていうか

Well, when I’m talking like that, it feels like I’m laboring or something.

その喋ってるときに私は労働強いられてるぞ

I'm being forced to work while I'm talking.

ここらへんけどもしも確かに極論見つめるとそういうことかもしれない

It might be true if you look at it from an extreme perspective around here.

そうすぐんそう思う

I think so too.

うんやばいね感情的なロードもそうだよ寄り添うかも

Yeah, it's intense; it might be an emotional ride.

なぁでもねなんかねいやいいんですよ

Well, you know, it's sort of... no, it's fine.

全体の女性っていうのは年の近い先輩の女性がいないんだよなぁどんぐらい上なの

There aren't any female seniors who are close in age in the whole group. I wonder how much older they are.

すぐ上で10個上とかその人はめっちゃ仲良くてでもそれこそ全然子持ちで

The person above me has 10 years on me, and we're really close, but they completely have kids.

なんか子持ちだし

Well, I have children.

割とでもなんか似てる

It's kind of similar, though.

性格が似てるけど立場がなんかもう全くその子持ちと独身で違うから

Our personalities are similar, but our situations are completely different because one of us has kids and the other is single.

年齢も実際から違うからなんかすごいやりやすいんだと思うんだよね

I think it's easy to do because the age is actually different.

そうでもなんか

Not really.

そうか年下の女子ねーとか

I see, a younger girl, huh?

年下の女子が苦手なだけかも急に

It might just be that I'm not good with younger girls all of a sudden.

急に違う結論

A sudden different conclusion.

うんきついんだけど

Yeah, it's tough, but...

まあでも年上が得意か年下が得意かやっぱ人によってある気はする

Well, I feel like it really depends on the person whether they are better with older or younger people.

いやあるよね

Yeah, there is, right?

あると思う明確に

I clearly think there is.

明確にあるわ

It's clearly there.

うん

Yeah.

あるよ

I have it.

うん

Yeah.

まあでもなんか男子と喋ってる時の方がなんかなんか気が楽ですね

Well, I feel more relaxed when I'm talking to guys.

なんか最近はもう

Lately, it feels like...

うんそれもそれでわかる

Yeah, I can understand that too.

なんかもうもうあなんかそうね

It feels like, well, you know...

何したらいいかは明確かもね

It might be clear what you should do.

それがあるかもしれないけどね

That might be the case, you know.

なるほどめんずの方がね

I see, it's the men's side, huh?

そうね確かにそう

That's true, indeed.

確かにそう

That’s true.

おーそうそうそう

Oh, I see. Yes, that's right.

メンズの原理は分かりやすいと思う

I think the principles of men's are easy to understand.

なんかなんか俺これやったんすよみたいなのやっても

It's like, even if I say I've done this or that...

あーそうなんだ流石にって言ってあげれば終わるから

Ah, I see. If you just say "as expected," it will end there.

それは楽です

That's easy.

わかる

I understand.

わかりますそんな感じ вわかります

I understand that feeling.

それが最近の中島好きですね最近ちょっと人思ったことが結構あったみたいで

I've been quite fond of Nakajima lately. It seems like I've had a lot on my mind about people recently.

いいですね

That sounds good.

今年1年振り返るとどうですか

How do you feel when you reflect on this past year?

変な年でした

It was a strange year.

そういうのあなた大変だったよね

You must have had a hard time with that.

疲れた

I'm tired.

早く終わってほしい

I want it to be over soon.

って感じですね

It feels like that.

よく

Well.

のんびりした人間なのに

Even though I'm a laid-back person.

よくいろいろ

Often various things

やってるなって自我自賛しますね

I'm really impressed with myself.

私は今年で30になるわけよ

I will be 30 this year.

そうじゃん

That's right.

30歳よ

I'm 30 years old.

あんたとも

With you too.

12年くらい知り合いって思って

"I've known you for about 12 years, I think."

怖いんだけど

I'm scared.

10年以上は

For more than 10 years.

知り合いってことよね

So, you're saying we know each other?

本当に

Really.

そうじゃないだって

That's not it.

大学に入学したのいつ

When did you enter university?

2012年

2012 year

2013年に大学入学でしょ

You entered university in 2013, right?

2014年に

In 2014.

そうよね

That's right.

もう10年近いわ

It's been nearly 10 years.

2014年だね

It's 2014, isn't it?

10年くらいか

About 10 years.

来年10周年

Next year is the 10th anniversary.

マジか

Seriously?

そうだよ

That's right.

ビビるな

Don't be scared.

え〜

Eh~

10年で変わった

Changed over the past 10 years.

10年でふみえさんも変わったよね

Fumie-san has changed a lot over the past 10 years, hasn't she?

早起きになったよね

You've become an early riser, huh?

早起きになった

I have become an early riser.

でもなんか最近ちょっと

But recently, it seems a bit...

疲れちゃって

I'm tired.

もう遅いんですけど

It's already late, though.

7時半8時くらいなんですけど

It's around 7:30 to 8:00.

いやいやいや

No, no, no.

前とか

Before or something like that.

前と比べたらね

Compared to before, yeah.

10時に起きたらラッキーくらいに綺麗に

If I wake up at 10 o'clock, I consider it lucky.

そうそう

That's right.

だから6時6時半に起きてた人が

So, the person who used to wake up at 6 or 6:30...

そうよ

That's right.

ちょっと7時半になってるって感じですけど

It feels like it's just about 7:30.

普通の人間の

Ordinary human

人間の暮らし

Human life

いや本当に人間の暮らししたね

Yeah, I really lived like a human.

なんか

Something like that.

なんかそう

Kind of like that.

でも圧倒的にやっぱり30歳の時は

But overwhelmingly, when I was 30 years old...

30歳なんかね

Is it about being 30 years old?

思うんだけど

I was thinking...

やっぱこう

As I thought.

年を上げるごとに

As the years go by

なんで年収を上げなきゃいけないかっていうと

The reason why we need to increase our annual income is that

やっぱ金がかかるポイントが増える

After all, the points that cost money are increasing.

厳しいな

That's tough.

それはなんか生活水準を上げるとかではなく

It's not about raising the standard of living or anything like that.

元気でいるために

To stay healthy.

金をかけなきゃいけないことが増えてくるわ

There will be more things that require spending money.

どういうこと?

What do you mean?

健康でいるために

To stay healthy.

そうそれこそさ

Yes, exactly that.

例えばさ

For example, you know.

昔さ気圧で辛いとか全然分かんなかったわけ

I used to not understand at all how tough it was with atmospheric pressure.

お〜

Oh~

全然気圧で辛いわけ

It's really tough with the pressure.

おいしいよ

It's delicious.

今

Now

でなんか気圧で辛すぎて色々調べて

I looked into various things because the pressure was too much for me.

なんかこう体の中の水分を巡らす漢方買ったの

I bought some herbal medicine to circulate the fluids in my body.

そんな高くないんだけど

It's not that expensive.

でもやっぱ全然違くて

But it’s completely different after all.

まあそれも

Well, that's true too.

マジ?

Really?

そう本当に違うんだよ

Yeah, it really is different.

まあそれも月に2000円とかでしょ

Well, that's only about 2000 yen a month, right?

でなんかもう風邪ひきたくないから

"I don't want to catch a cold anymore."

まあちょっと高いビタミンCとか買うわけよ

Well, I'm going to buy some expensive vitamin C.

それ月3000円とか

That's about 3000 yen a month.

え〜

Ehh~

そう高いんだけど

It's really expensive, though.

でも本当にそれいいの?

But is that really okay?

え〜

Hmm~

でもこれでもう5000円でしょって思うと

But when I think about it, it's already 5000 yen, right?

あ何年間6万出費増えてんだと思うと

Oh, when I think about how my expenses have increased by 60,000 over the years...

あ〜

Ah~

やっぱなんか自分を健康でい続けるための維持費がやっぱちょっと若い時と違うんだと思って

I think the maintenance costs to stay healthy are definitely different from when I was younger.

うん確かに

Yeah, that's true.

うんうん

Yeah, yeah.

本当に体調なんかクズ地味な体調崩しとかしたくないですよね

I really don't want to feel sick or have a lousy condition.

そうそうそう結構引きずるのよ本当

Yeah, yeah, it really lingers, you know?

そうそうそうそう

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

昔自分がこれぐらいで治るよなって思ってた期間の1.5年ぐらいで

About 1.5 years since I used to think that this would heal pretty quickly.

期間の1.5倍ぐらいになって

It has become about 1.5 times the duration.

うん

Yeah.

ならないと治んなくなってきてる感じがする

I feel like if I don't do it, it's starting to not get better.

本当にそう

That's really true.

そうなんです

That's right.

そう思います

I think so.

パーソナルジムにとか行きたいもん

I want to go to a personal gym.

いいよ

Sure!

体力つけたい体力

I want to build up my stamina.

うん

Yeah.

体力ついた?ジム通って

Have you built up your stamina? Are you going to the gym?

でも元気にはなったけど

But I feel better now.

うん

Yeah.

なんかねやっぱ体力と筋肉別なのよね

You know, it’s like physical strength and muscles are different things.

へーどうしたらいいの

Oh, what should I do?

体力はやっぱなんて多分ね有酸素なんだと思う

I think stamina is probably related to aerobic exercise.

あジョギングとか

Oh, jogging or something.

そうそうそうそう

That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right.

そうなんだそれでいいんだけど

I see, that's fine then.

うんうんそうなんか多分血管をちゃんと強くするとか

Yeah, yeah, probably strengthening the blood vessels properly.

こう酸素なんていうのそう肺を強くするとかそっちなんだと思う

I think something like increasing oxygen is related to strengthening the lungs.

うん

Yeah.

へーそうなんだ

Oh, is that so?

うん

Yeah.

だからそのジョギングを定期的にすれば体力がまずないっていう

So if you jog regularly, it means you don't have physical strength to begin with.

あそうねわかるよ

Ah, I see, I understand.

わかる

I understand.

そこはね

That's the place.

うんまあそうそういう

Yeah, well, that's true.

悩みどころだわ

It's a tough situation.

そうそう

That's right.

あと私が最近思うのはやっぱねこの年代さもうボコボコ子供が生まれるわけ私の周囲

What I've been thinking lately is that in this age, children are being born all over the place around me.

うんでしょうね

I guess so.

だからねすごい複雑なのは別に

So, you see, it's really complicated, but it's not specifically.

人とどうこう言うっていうよりもなんかやっぱどんどん母になっていくわけみんなが

Rather than talking about people, it seems like everyone is gradually becoming a mother.

わー

Wow!

なんかなんか母の人格が強まるのを見て

Seeing my mother's personality becoming stronger somehow.

うん

Yeah.

あなんかなんていうのこうやって人は母になるんだと思って

I think this is how people become mothers.

うん

Yeah.

こうなんていうのこう大学生の時のこうやっぱ時と違うわけよ

It's different from when I was a university student, you know.

まあね

Well, you know.

それがポジティブとかネガティブというよりもやっぱなんか人がこう母になっていくプロセスを見て

Rather than it being positive or negative, it's more about observing the process of a person becoming a mother.

でなんかそりゃ尊いんだけどやっぱなんか自分のことに置き換えると

Well, it is precious in its own way, but when I try to relate it to my own situation...

あーなんかまだ自分という人格を100%手放したくないみたいな思いもすごい湧いてきたのが今年でしたね

Ah, this year I've really had a strong feeling that I don't want to let go of my own personality 100%.

なんかなんか

Something, something.

うわー

Wow!

なんかあ素敵なことだなーとかいいなーとか家族が増えるのっていいなーと思うと同時に

At the same time, I think it’s really wonderful and nice that a family is growing.

なんかあなんかこうやっぱまだ恐ろしさも感じるわっていうか

I don't know, but I still feel a sense of fear, you know?

いやー恐ろしい

Wow, that's terrifying.

うん

Yeah.

恐ろしいと思って本当

I really think it's scary.

うん

Yeah.

なんか恐ろしいっていう表現が正しいか分かんないけどいやでもなんかまじかーって思う自分も全然いた

I'm not sure if "terrifying" is the right expression, but still, there was definitely a part of me that thought, "No way..."

そうだよね

That's right.

うん思った

Yeah, I thought so.

そういやいやわかりますよその感覚

By the way, I understand that feeling.

うん

Yeah.

別にまあその未知のね友情を見るのもおののきですし

Well, seeing that unknown friendship is also quite astonishing.

あそうそうそれもあるあなんか

Oh, right, there's that too, um...

おー

Oh!

多分なんか変わった変わったんだなっていうことに寂しさもあるんだろうね

Maybe there's a sense of loneliness that comes from the fact that something has definitely changed.

うんうんうん

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

そうまあ多分それもあるんだろうけど

Well, I guess that's probably part of it too.

うん

Yeah.

ねーほんとにそうね

Yeah, that's really true.

うん

Yeah.

なんか会わなくなる友達とか増えますもんね

You end up having more friends you don't meet anymore, right?

うんそうそうよほんとに

Yeah, that's right, really.

うん

Yeah.

うわーほんとなんかでその四五十代とかになったら多分戻ってくるんじゃないかなって思うんですけど

Wow, I really think that when you hit your 40s or 50s, you might probably come back.

ジェンスーもよく言ってるよね

Jensu often says that too, right?

そうそうジェンスーがよく言ってるじゃん

Yeah, yeah, Jen-Soo often says that, right?

うんあの戻りジャケでしょ

Yeah, that's the return jacket, right?

そうそうそうそう

That's right, that's right, that's right!

うん

Yeah.

って思うんだけどやっぱもうこのこの年代その自分の人生構築を始める年代ってやっぱ散り散りになるんだなって

I think it's the age when people start building their lives, but it really does scatter everyone in different directions at this age.

うん

Yeah.

改めて思いました

I thought about it again.

うんそうですねほんとにわかります

Yes, I really understand.

うん

Yeah.

いやー

Well...

うん

Yeah.

確かに

Certainly.

気合で子供を

With determination, a child.

うん

Yeah.

すごい音してるけど大丈夫

It’s making a crazy sound, but is it okay?

すごいちょっと炭層開けたら

Wow, just a little, when I opened the carbon layer...

うんうん

Uh-huh.

すごい dinosaur

Amazing dinosaur

精華ゾーンしたわ

I achieved the essence zone.

すいません

I'm sorry.

大丈夫

It's okay.

なんだっけ

What was it again?

あーそうそうだから

Ah, right, that's why.

勢い勢いでやっぱ

"With momentum, after all."

勢いが大事なんじゃない?

Isn't momentum important?

急に全然飛んだけど、なんですか?

It suddenly jumped completely, but what is it?

子供を持つとかさ。

Having children, you know.

本当に結婚も思うけど、結婚も子供も半分くらいノリ。

I do think about getting married, but both marriage and having kids are about half just going with the flow.

ちゃんと考えたら、全然リーズナブルじゃないっていうか、合理的じゃない気もする、全然。

If you think about it carefully, it feels like it's not reasonable at all, or I guess you could say it's not rational at all.

でもさ、食費とか生活費がさ、食材の買い方とかさ、その辺も折半になるしさ、世帯への補助とかも出るわけじゃん。

But, you know, expenses like food and living costs, like how we buy groceries, those will be split, and there will be subsidies for households too, right?

そこら辺はあまり旨味はないんですか?結婚してでも。

Isn't there much flavor in that area? Even if you get married.

多少あると思うけど、何を天秤にするかだけど、

I think there is somewhat of a difference, but it just depends on what you weigh it against.

なんだろう?

I wonder what it is?

そこの旨味があるのって、経済的な一定の不都合がある場合だと思うんですよ。

I think the richness found there is often due to certain economic disadvantages.

女性側がとかどちらか。

Which side is the woman on?

正直そんなないわけ、今の自分に。

Honestly, I don't really have that much right now.

別に言いたくもないけど、不便もない時に、経済合理性で結婚する理由は全くないわけ。

I don't really want to say this, but when there's no inconvenience, there is absolutely no reason to marry for economic rationality.

あー、なるほど。

Ah, I see.

うん、なんか。

Yeah, something like that.

確かに。

Indeed.

そう。

That's right.

むしろ、自由さとかを取ったら全然一人でいる方が、いろんな選択の自由さを考えると、一人でいる方が合理的だなって思う瞬間もあるけど。

Rather, there are moments when I think that being alone is more rational when considering the various freedoms of choice, especially if you take away the aspects of freedom and such.

だからなんか、結婚って本当に精神的繋がりに寄ってる。

So, in a way, marriage really relies on a mental connection.

特に都市部での結婚。

Marriage, especially in urban areas.

都市部での結婚?

Marriage in the urban area?

そう。

Yes.

都市部で働く女性の結婚って、すごいこう、なんていうの。経済合理性に寄って、なんていうの。精神的な繋がりか。の方にすごい寄ってるなって思う。

I think marriage for women working in urban areas tends to be heavily influenced by economic rationality, or rather, it seems to lean significantly towards a more practical, economic connection rather than an emotional one.

えー。

Uh-huh.

うん。

Yeah.

都市部での結婚ってめっちゃ面白いんですけど、それが普通に人の口から出てくるのがウケる。

Getting married in the city is really amusing, but it's funny how it just comes up in conversation so casually.

うん。

Yeah.

なんかさ、それってあれじゃない?

Isn't that something?

受験の時に読んでる。

I read it during my exam preparation.

受験の時に読んでる。評論の中に出てくるさ、単語みたいな感じなんですけど。

I'm reading it during my exams. It feels like a word that comes up in critiques.

社会の時間みたいなね。

It's like social studies class, you know.

そうそうそう。なんだっけ。都市部での結婚ってちょっと、だいぶ、だいぶごめん。

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it again? Getting married in the city is a bit, well, really, really sorry.

大丈夫。ごめん。ごめん。

It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

精神的な繋がりに寄ってるっていう。

It's said that it relies on a spiritual connection.

そう思う。

I think so.

うん。

Yeah.

まあ、確かにね。

Well, that's true.

うん。

Yeah.

あー、そう。

Ah, I see.

うん。

Yeah.

いやー、なんかほんと、子供、子供を育てるっていう目的以外になんかあんのかねっていう。

Well, you know, I really wonder if there's any purpose other than raising children.

ないんじゃない?

Isn't there?

大人の手が、

An adult's hand,

ない?

Isn't there?

2名以上必要な、ね。

It requires two or more people, you know.

うん。

Yeah.

なんか、目標ってあんのかねって。

I wonder if there are any goals.

ないんじゃない?ほんと。

Isn't it true that there isn't? Really.

ないんじゃない?

Isn't there?

うん。

Yeah.

手が必要。

I need a hand.

うん。

Yeah.

そう。

Yes.

うん。

Yeah.

あれ、今、平日もいるんでしたっけ?

Oh, are you here on weekdays now too?

そう。いるのよ。

Yes. They exist.

一緒に、一緒に暮らす。

Live together, live together.

そう。だから、前回からのアップデートって言って。

Yeah. So, I said it was an update from last time.

そうね。なんか、また。

I see. Somehow, again.

確かに。

Indeed.

週末婚だったのが、ちょっと夫の勤務形態が変わりまして、平日も一緒にいるようになりまして。

We had a weekend marriage, but my husband's work schedule has slightly changed, so now we spend time together during the weekdays as well.

ね。え、どうなん?どうなん?

Hey. So, what do you think? What do you think?

え、でも、だいぶなんていうの?それこそ、なんか、夜一緒の時間があるのとか、一緒に、まあ、一緒にご飯が食べるっていいなとは思う。

Uh, but, how should I put it? Well, having some time together at night or, you know, having dinner together sounds nice.

へー。

Oh really.

うん。

Yeah.

まあ、確かに。

Well, that is true.

うん。うん。

Yeah. Yeah.

いいなと思うけど、まあ、例えば、なんか、些細なことだけど、こう、自分の好きな音楽をガンガンかけるわけでは、ガンガンかける感じではないとか、相手のご飯も作るとか、やっぱ、そういうのはあるけど、まあ、でも、そうね。こう、なんていうの?こう。

I think that’s nice, but, well, for example, it’s something trivial, but it’s not like I’m blasting my favorite music or anything; it’s more like I also cook for the other person, you know, there are those kinds of things, but, well, I don’t know. How should I put it? Like...

うん。

Yeah.

旦那といる時間が非日常じゃないっていうのは、これはこれでいいなと思う。

I think it's nice that the time spent with my husband feels like an everyday occurrence instead of something extraordinary.

うん。

Yeah.

ね。

Okay.

あ、これぐらい、こういうことか、結婚程度はもう。

Ah, this is about how much, something like marriage, I guess.

うん。

Yeah.

やっぱ、なんか、細かい擦り合わせは迷う必要だなと思うし。

I think there still needs to be some fine-tuning and adjustments.

うん。

Yeah.

まあ、そうだよね。

Well, that's true.

うん。

Yeah.

週末婚でしたから、前も。

Since it was a weekend marriage, it was like that before.

そうそうそうそう。そうですよ。

That's right, that's right. Yes, indeed.

週末婚とか、いいとこ取りだよね。

A weekend marriage, that's a good way to have the best of both worlds, isn't it?

あるっしょね。でも、そうだと思う。本当。

There is, right? But I think so. Really.

いいね。

Nice.

うん。

Yeah.

そう思います。本当に。

I think so too. Really.

うん。

Yeah.

引っ越したいなあ。

I want to move.

うん。今の家。

Yeah. The current house.

そう。

Yes.

どこ引っ越すの?

Where are you moving to?

え?

Huh?

どこ引っ越すの?引っ越すとしたい。

Where are you moving to? I want to move.

ねえ、でも、なんか、やっぱ、東の血が騒ぐっていうか。

Hey, but you know, it's like, my eastern blood is definitely stirring up or something.

うん。

Yeah.

東の血が。

The blood of the East.

うん。

Yeah.

東からあんまり、なんか、移動したくないっていうのがありますね。

I feel like I don't want to move too much from the east, you know?

うん。

Yeah.

なんだかんだ言っても。まあ、ちょっと、親がね。

Well, no matter what they say. Well, you know, it's just that my parents...

そうね。

That's right.

母親が今、心配なんで。

My mother is worried right now.

うん。

Yeah.

ちょっと、一人。

Wait, just one person.

あんまり、そう。一人だし。

Not really, like I said. I'm by myself.

うん。

Yeah.

なんか、なんだろ。あんまり行きづらいエリアに行くのかなって思うんで。

I wonder, what is it? I feel like I might be going to an area that's not so easy to visit.

うん。うん。

Yeah. Yeah.

なんか、東の方で、なんか、もうちょっといい感じのとこしつみたい。

It seems like there’s a nicer place to stay in the eastern direction.

いや、いいじゃない。

No, that's fine.

曖昧な。超曖昧な。

Ambiguous. Super ambiguous.

はい。

Yes.

浅草。

Asakusa.

浅草もいい。お仕上げもいい。

Asakusa is great. The finishing touches are also good.

お仕上げでね。お仕上げで、小沢さんと今井さんが住んでるよね。

In the finishing touches, Ozawa-san and Imai-san are living there, right?

うん。そうそうそうそう。知り合い。

Yeah. That's right. Acquaintance.

知り合い多いし。

I know a lot of people.

知り合い多いし。まあでも、あんま変わんないんですよね。お仕上げだと。なんか、もうちょっと何か、句を変えたい。

I know a lot of people. Well, it doesn't really change much, does it? Especially in terms of finishing. I want to change the phrase a bit more.

うん。

Yeah.

句は違うわ。隅田倉から。

The sentence is different. From Sumida Warehouse.

うん。

Yeah.

台東句は?

What about Taito-ku?

浅草とかね。

Asakusa and such.

そうそうそうそう。とか。それこそ、あの、今日の気持ちが変わるから。

Yes, yes, yes, that's right. That's exactly it, you know, because my feelings change today.

うん。

Yeah.

それこそ、あの、清澄白河とかさ。あそこ。

That's right, like, you know, Kiyosumi-Shirakawa or something. That place.

ね。確かに。清澄ね。

Yes. Indeed. Kiyosumi.

うん。いいよ。あそこやっぱいいよね。

Yeah. That place is really nice, isn't it?

ね。やっぱあそこはね、東の中でもね。

Yeah. After all, that place is one of the best in the east.

やっぱ、あの。

Well, um...

まともな土地として。

As a decent piece of land.

とか、蔵前とかね。あそこらへん。

Like, Kuramae and such. Around that area.

あー、ね。

Ah, I see.

やっぱあそこもいいじゃない。

That's nice over there too, after all.

あそこもね。確かに。

That place too, indeed.

この間なんか、あれ言ったか。なんか、家の近くのマンションのなんか自転車置き場で、

The other day, did I mention that? Something about a bicycle parking spot at a nearby apartment.

うん。

Yeah.

自転車置き場で人が寝てて。

There's a person sleeping in the bicycle parking area.

え?

Huh?

そこが、私があの、家に行くまでの道で、そこの角を曲がんなきゃいけないんですよ。

That's the road I have to take to get to that house, and I have to turn at that corner.

うんうん。

Mm-hmm.

それで曲がったら、なんか人寝てて。ふざけんだと思って。

So when I turned, there was someone sleeping there. I thought it was a joke.

え、こわっ。

Eh, that's scary.

やばいでしょ。

That's crazy, right?

うん。

Yeah.

このエリアよくないっすよ。マジで。

This area is not good, seriously.

こわっ。

Scary.

ビビったわ。

I was surprised.

うん。

Yeah.

うん。そんな感じですからね。

Yeah. That's how it feels.

そんなの人じゃないし、多少やっぱちょっと安心できる方がいいよ。

That's not really human, and it's definitely better to feel a bit more at ease.

ねー、そうだよね。

Hey, that's right, isn't it?

あとなんか、ぼんやり話してくと、ビクエルと私今年、頑張りすぎたね。なんか。

Also, when I think about it vaguely, it feels like Biquer and I worked too hard this year. Somehow.

あ、そんな頑張ってたの?

Oh, were you working that hard?

そんなすごい、こん詰めて頑張ってたわけでもないけど、やっぱ仕事大変だったから、やっぱ仕事のことを多めに考えてたんですけど、

I wasn't working that hard or anything, but since work was tough, I found myself thinking a lot about it.

うん。

Yeah.

思えばなんかちょっと自分の趣味とか、自分の好きなことみたいなところで言うと、やっぱりちょっと物足りなかったなっていう気持ちはありますね。なんか。

Looking back, I do feel that in terms of my own hobbies and the things I like, there is a sense that it was a bit insufficient. Something like that.

そうなんだ。

I see.

うん。なんか。

Yeah. Something.

なんか作るとか。

Like making something.

あ、そうそうそうそうそう。なんか、ちょっと、やっぱなんかどこまで行っても作ってたい人間だから。

Oh, right, right, right. I guess I'm just someone who wants to keep creating no matter how far I go.

なるほどなるほど。

I see, I see.

そう。やっぱそれがないとやっぱね、なんかダメだね私。

Yeah. Without that, I just feel like there's something missing.

うん。

Yeah.

うん。と思って。

Yeah. I guess.

うん。

Yeah.

うんうん。

Uh-huh.

それを着実に来年はやろうって思いました、ほんと。

I really thought we would steadily do that next year.

へー。

Oh, really?

うん。

Yeah.

具体的な目標でいいですね。

Specific goals are good, aren't they?

あ、ほんと?これ具体的?嬉しい。

Oh, really? Is this specific? I'm happy.

具体的じゃない?

Isn't it vague?

うん。

Yeah.

まぁ私だって、いかろう、かわいこぶりっ子しようとかだもん。

Well, I also try to act cute and be charming sometimes.

全然いいじゃん。

That's totally fine.

それさ、今までのあなたからすると結構曲振りしてるじゃん。

Well, considering how you've been until now, that's quite a twist, isn't it?

どういうこと?

What do you mean?

え、だって別にかわいこぶりっ子も得意芸ではないしさ。

Well, it's not like being a cute flirt is really my strong suit or anything.

うん。

Yeah.

そうね。そうそう、得意じゃないけど。

I see. Well, I'm not really good at it, though.

うん。

Yeah.

いや、なんかぶりっ、なんか私が一番かわいいしって。

No, it’s just that I feel like I’m the cutest after all.

うん。

Yeah.

っていうタイプで。

That's the type.

うん。そういう。

Yeah. Like that.

いた方が、なんか得意じゃね?って最近思って。

I've been thinking lately that having someone around makes things easier, doesn't it?

そういう。

I see.

で、なんかおじさんとかに対してだったら、えーとかって言えるから。

So, I can say things like "uh" to older men and such.

うん。

Yeah.

なんかもう素で、それを、やっちまおうかなっていう。

I’m kinda thinking that, you know, I might just go ahead and do it.

芸芸。

Artistry.

っていう感じだね。

That's the feeling.

うん。

Yeah.

まぁ得意芸、お得意芸ではないですけど。

Well, it's not exactly my specialty, but...

うん。

Yeah.

やってみようっていう話ね。

It's a story about trying to do it.

やってみようっていう話。そうです。

It's a story about trying it out. That's right.

うん。

Yeah.

得意芸って何?そのお家芸みたいな。

What is your specialty? Like a family tradition.

文津さんのお家芸は何?

What is Buntō-san's specialty?

え、なんだろう?お家芸。

Huh, I wonder what it is? A family specialty.

何だろうね?何だろう?私のお家芸。

I wonder what it is? What could it be? My specialty.

何だろう?お家芸。お家芸って。

What could it be? Family tradition. Family tradition, huh?

何、何だろう?

What, what could it be?

全然分かんない。

I don't understand at all.

しゃべ、しゃべ、しゃべって倒すとか。

Talk, talk, talk and then knock them down.

分かんない。

I don't understand.

やってるかな?最近そんな。やってるかな?でも最近そんなファイティングモードじゃないけど。

Are you doing it? Not really recently. Are you doing it? But I'm not really in that fighting mode lately.

あー。

Ah.

文津さん思ったの?それこそ、昔はしゃべって倒すスタイルだったけど。

Did Buntsu think so? Back then, it was all about talking to defeat.

うん。

Yeah.

なんかもうね、倒すほど相手に向き合うパワーがもうない。

I just don't have the power to face my opponent enough to defeat them anymore.

だから、本当なんだ、そうなんだ、へー、いいねって言って全く同意してないみたいな。

So it really is true, huh? Oh, that's nice, but it feels like you're not agreeing at all.

まあ、ちょっと。

Well, just a little.

なんか相手、そうなんだね、へーとは言うけど、別に私はそれを一緒にやろうとは全く言わないみたいな。

It seems like the other person is saying "Oh, I see," but it's not like I'm suggesting we do that together at all.

あー。

Ah.

っていう感じね。

That's the feeling, huh?

なるほどね。

I see.

うん、なんかもう、ああいいんじゃない?あなたがそれならっていう方になってるかもしれない。だから昔よりある種白状。

Yeah, I don't know, isn't it just fine as it is? It might be leaning more towards what you want. So in a way, it's more honest than before.

あー。

Ah.

ある種白状。

A certain kind of confession.

白状。

Confess.

いや確かにね、昔はもっとなんか、確かにね。

Yeah, that's true. In the past, there was definitely something more, for sure.

うん。

Yeah.

確かに。先進合宿みたいな感じだった。

Certainly. It felt like a advanced training camp.

そうそうそうそう。許さないみたいな感じだった。

Yes, yes, yes, yes. It felt like they wouldn't forgive me.

そうそう。

That's right.

許されない、そんな言葉みたいな感じだった。

It felt like a word that couldn't be forgiven.

確かに。お前はどう考えてるんだ、イエー!みたいな。

Certainly. What are you thinking, yeah!

そうそうそう。

That's right, that's right, that's right.

いやでも昔そうだったよね、結構。

Yeah, but it used to be like that a lot.

いや、めっちゃそうでしたよ。

Yeah, it was really like that.

お前の可能性をちゃんと出せみたいな。

"Show your true potential."

そうそうそうそう。だから私、あれ、まゆ言いましたっけ?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. So, did I mention that to Mayu?

いや。

No.

後輩じゃなかったら、ちょっと。

If you weren't a junior, maybe a little.

いや、あんまり近づいてなかったかもしれない。

No, I might not have gotten that close.

そうだよね。ちょっとめんどくさいよね、冷静に。

That's true. It's a bit annoying, to be honest.

めんどくさいっていうか、なんか、すっごい。

It's not just that it's troublesome, it's really something.

そう。すげぇ熱量って感じですね。

Right. It feels like an incredible amount of energy.

うん。

Yeah.

まぁあの熱量は、あの、年を取るに従って程よく中和されたと思う。

Well, I think that intensity has been somewhat neutralized as I've gotten older.

すごい。

Amazing.

うん。そう思う。ほんと。あんなのはないもん。

Yeah. I think so too. Really. There's nothing like that.

あんなのはない。

That's not happening.

うん。あんな、あんな感じではないもん。

Yeah. It’s not like that at all.

うん。

Yeah.

まぁやる人にはやると思うけど、もうちょっと、うにゃっとさせてるかなって。

Well, I think those who will do it will do it, but I feel like it could use a little more of that "unyatto" element.

うん。

Yeah.

うにゃっとさせてね。

Make it squishy.

処生術。

Life skill.

そうそうそう。処生術。

That's right, that's right. It's life skills.

そう思うと、昔の私が生きづらかったのも当たり前だなと思う。

Thinking about it that way, it's no wonder that the old me found it difficult to live.

そうだね。

That's right.

その濃度でさ、全部ぶつかってたら、もうさ、周りも死んじゃうぜと思って。

I thought that with that concentration, if everything collided, everyone around would already be dead.

いや、ほんとそうだね。確かにそう思うと。

Yeah, that's really true. I definitely think so.

そうそうそう。

That's right, that's right, that's right.

ねぇ、なんか、ほんと。なんか、高校、なんか、不良少年を更生させようとしてる人みたいな。

Hey, you know, it's just that, it feels like, in high school, you're like someone who's trying to reform delinquent boys.

あの、夜直し先生のパワー。

Um, the power of the Night Corrections Teacher.

そうそう。夜直し先生みたいなパワー。うん。

That's right. A power like Mr. Yonaoshi. Yeah.

まぁ、それがね、いいと、いいっていうか、ありがたいというのもありましたけどね。

Well, you know, it's nice, or rather, I was grateful for it as well.

まぁ、別に求めてないみたいなね。

Well, it doesn't seem like I'm really asking for it.

そうか、今は、今、クールダウンしちゃったんだ。

I see, so now, you've cooled down.

うん。

Yeah.

それはそれで、残念かもしれないけど。

It might be unfortunate in its own way.

まともな人になった。

I have become a decent person.

うん。

Yeah.

そうよ。まともな、そうね。まともな人になった。

That's right. I've become a decent person.

まともな人になった、はず。

I should have become a decent person.

いやぁ。

Well...

うん。

Yeah.

問題ない気もしますね。

I don't think there is a problem.

ほんと?

Really?

まぁ。

Well.

時々、時々なんか眠れる、なんか、魔獣が起きてきたみたいな感じで目覚めてほしいけど。

Sometimes, I want to wake up feeling like something, like a magical beast, has awakened.

あの、まぁ、でもそれこそすごい、うーん、なんのかなぁ。

Well, um, that's really something, hmm, I wonder what it is.

そう。

I see.

まぁ、でも、大事な人にはそれするかもしんないけど。

Well, I might do that for someone important to me.

うん。確かに。

Yeah. That's true.

まぁ、だから、もう、だいぶ人を選ぶようになってた。

Well, that's why I had gotten quite picky about people.

うん。

Yeah.

あぁ、確かに確かに。

Ah, indeed, indeed.

え、オオカちゃんとは、なんか、そういう、ひざ詰め、ダンパーみたいなことは行われるんですか?

Eh, does that mean something like sitting close together, like a knee-to-knee conversation, happen with Ooka-chan?

あの、うちの旦那、繊細ボーイだから、ここまで詰めちゃうと、もうほんとに、カァってなっちゃう。

Um, my husband is a sensitive guy, so if things get too intense, he really just loses it.

カァって。

Kaa~!

そうってなんですけど、まぁ、昔より表現は柔らかだけど、言うことは言うよ、多分。

Well, I'm not sure, but I guess the expression is softer than before, but I probably still say what needs to be said.

言ってることは言ってると思う。

I think what you’re saying is what you’re saying.

あぁ。

Ah.

うん。

Yeah.

すごい。

Amazing.

うん。

Yeah.

そこの手がいいんがね、できるようになったっていう。

That hand over there is good, you know, it has become able to do it.

そうそうそうそう。

That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right.

こともね、また変化で。

It's just that, again with the changes.

ほら!っていう言い方はしないけど、いや、私はこれを大事にしてるから、これは嫌です。みたいな、そういう表現はできるようになったかもしれない。

I might not say "look!" but I could express something like, "No, I value this, so I don't like that."

へぇ。

Oh, really?

すごい。

Amazing.

うん。

Yeah.

なるほど。

I see.

凄い。

Amazing.

なんか、カワってますね。

Somehow, it's cute.

カワったよ、今日。

It was cute today.

そうだね。

That's right.

思えます? ほんと。

Can you believe it? Really.

逆に、じゃあ、中島さんの子変わったなって。まぁ、10年だからね。10年で変わったコレ。

On the contrary, well, I think Nakajima-san has changed a lot. After all, it's been 10 years. This is how much things have changed in 10 years.

いや。そこから。。。

No. From there...

換算したらそれが変わってますけどね

It's changed when converted, though.

そりゃそうよね

Of course, that makes sense.

なんだろうな

I wonder what it is.

でも

But

それこそ繊細度は

That is exactly the level of delicacy.

もうちょっと

A little more.

社会に対しての繊細度は

The sensitivity toward society is

程よく

Moderately

中和されました

It has been neutralized.

気がする

I have a feeling.

知らねえよってなりましたね

I don't know, right?

本当に確かにそう

That's really true.

昔はもっと繊細でした

It used to be more delicate.

はっみたいな

"Like, huh?"

そうそう

That's right.

いちいちね

One by one.

確かにそう

That's true.

確かに

Certainly.

言われましたもんこの間

I was told the other day.

結構なんか

That's quite something.

言われても全然しれっとしてますね

Even if you say that, I'm completely unfazed.

みたいな

Like that.

言われて

"Being told"

そうだねみたいな

Yeah, something like that.

そういう感じになりました

It ended up feeling that way.

確かに

Certainly.

Sounds good.

あと何かな

What else is there?

あの

Um...

あと何かな

What else is there?

どうしよう

What should I do?

そうね

That's right.

あと

And then

あと自分の欲望には

And also to my own desires.

ある種素直になったかもね

I might have become a bit more honest.

それと

That too.

合わせた

Matched

まあ確かにね

Well, that's true.

てか

By the way

いやでも本当なんか

No, but really it is something.

いやでも

Well, but...

もっと欲望を

More desire.

ねえ

Hey.

出していけたら

If I could bring it out.

もっと欲望を出していけたら

If I could express my desires more.

もう行きたいですけど

I want to go now, but...

やっぱ

As I thought.

ねえ

Hey.

何かそこら辺が

Something around there.

まだまだ

Not yet.

まだまだ作って

Keep making it!

何かなって思えますね

It makes me wonder what it could be.

そうなんですね

I see.

何かでも欲望ほらある人って

People who have desires for something, you see?

なんか

Somehow

ちゃんと

Properly

なんで

Why?

おじけ付かないじゃない

You’re not getting scared, are you?

ん

Hmm.

あーめっちゃいいこと言うじゃん

Ah, you're saying something really nice!

でも欲望ほらある人って何か

But those who have desires are something...

ちゃんと

Properly.

なんで

Why?

おじけ付かないじゃない

Aren't you scared?

ああ

Ah.

めっちゃいいこと言うじゃん

You're saying really great things!

うん

Yeah.

本当に

Really.

ちょっと

Wait a moment.

何か

Something

そうなんか

Is that so?

僕最後の

I’m the last one.

でもちょっと

But a little...

それの部分が

That part of it.

そこが全然足りてない

That's completely insufficient.

おじけづかないって

Don't be scared.

どんなイメージしてるの

What kind of image are you imagining?

なんだろう

I wonder what it is.

やれるか分かんないけど

I don't know if I can do it, but...

やりますみたいな

Like "I'll do it" or "I will give it a try."

そうね

That's right.

チャンスあれば飛んできます

If I have the chance, I will fly over.

みたいな

Like that.

分かる

I understand.

何をやっても私がやりたいから

Because I want to do whatever I want.

やってますみたいな

It's like I'm doing it.

ことをさらっと

To do something casually.

やってる人に

To the person who is doing it.

憧れるわ

I admire it.

その自尊心の

That self-esteem.

持ち方健やかだよね

You're holding it healthily, aren't you?

健やか

Healthy

めちゃめちゃ思う

I think a lot.

その健やかな自尊心

That healthy self-esteem.

鍛えたいなってめっちゃ思う

I really want to train.

ね

Yeah.

それは思いますね

I think so.

やっぱり

As expected.

やりたいと

I want to do it.

認めるとか

To acknowledge or something.

自分にその欲望があること

The fact that I have that desire.

認める

Acknowledge

そのベクトルだよね

That's the vector, right?

やっぱり

I knew it.

そのベクトルだよね

That's the vector, right?

まず認めるところから

Starting by acknowledging it.

できてる人は

People who are capable.

すごいなって思うんですね

I think it's amazing.

別にそれはほんと周りの

It's not really that, it's just the people around.

おじさんとかでもそうだけど

It's the same even with uncles and such.

分かるわ

I understand.

何なんだろうな

I wonder what it is.

分かるな

I understand.

まず自分にその欲望があることを

First, acknowledge that you have that desire within yourself.

認めることじゃん

It's something to acknowledge.

あとはなんか

Is there anything else?

あとなんか

And something else.

やっぱり

As I thought.

できなかったらどうしよう

What if I can't do it?

そういう場合って

In such cases,

人からできなかったらどうしようって

What if I can't do it because of others?

究極さは別に

Ultimate is separate.

できないことが問題というより

It's more about the fact that what cannot be done is the problem rather than...

できなかった時に

When I couldn't do it

人からどう言われるのかを

What people say to me.

気にしてできなかったらどうしようなわけじゃん

What if I couldn't do it because I was worried?

そうね

That's right.

それでさ

So, you know.

それで自分のことを評価してくる人間って

So, people who evaluate themselves...

たかが知れてるから

Because it's nothing to worry about.

そことやっぱりもっと