第17回：おごって〜！

恋愛博士エミリーの開連のすすめ

Dr. Emily's Advice on Love and Relationships

こんにちは司会のさやかです

Hello, I am the host, Sayaka.

この番組では海外で様々な人間関係のドラマをくぐり抜け

In this program, we navigate through various relationship dramas overseas.

今では13歳年下のダーリンと幸せに暮らす恋愛博士のエミリーが

Now, Dr. Emily, who specializes in love, lives happily with her darling who is 13 years younger.

親友との気軽な対話という形式で

In the form of a casual conversation with a close friend.

リスナーの皆さんの恋愛、夫婦関係、婚活などの悩みに

To the listeners' concerns about love, marital relationships, and婚活 (marriage hunting), etc.

アドバイスをしてお届けします

I will provide advice.

心よい恋と書いて開連

"Write 'a pleasant love' and it opens up."

私も皆さんと一緒に今よりもっと自由に軽やかに

I too want to be more free and lighthearted with all of you than I am now.

楽しく恋する自分を目指します

I aspire to have a fun and loving self.

こんにちは

Hello

今回は質問じゃないんだけどねエミリー

This time it's not a question, Emily.

うん

Yeah.

あのー

Um...

その間エミリーが話題になったってね話してくれた

In the meantime, Emily was the topic of conversation, right? You told me about it.

デートの時のお会計についてちょっと聞きたいんですけど

I have a quick question about the bill during a date.

あらあらそれは

Oh dear, what is that?

なんかさお金ってやっぱりちょっと悩んじゃうところだと思うし

I think money is something that can definitely cause some worries.

私もね誰かとご飯食べに行ってさ

I also want to go out to eat with someone.

やっぱり本心は怒ってもらいたいんだよ

After all, deep down, I want you to get angry.

なんだけども

But...

お会計の時になるとついさなんかさっと自分もちょっと財布を出しといて

When it comes time to pay, I can't help but quickly take out my wallet a bit.

なんかやっぱり邪そうとするジェスチャーだけでもとか

I feel like just the gesture of trying to be evil is enough.

なんかさ

You know...

うん

Yeah.

やっぱりずうずうしい女と思われたくないとかさ

I don't want to be thought of as an insufferable woman after all.

うん

Yeah.

どうしても思っちゃうし

I can't help but think about it.

うん

Yeah.

それで結局自分が出す羽目になっちゃったりするんだよね

So in the end, it turns out that I end up having to pay for it myself.

うん

Yeah.

それってどうしたらいいの

What should I do about that?

これねあのー多分さやかじゃんだけじゃなくて

This is probably not just Sayaka, right?

うん

Yeah.

そういう方がねこれ悩むところだと思うのよ

I think that's where people tend to struggle.

うん

Yeah.

あのー前もね以前も結構関係性によるとか

Um, it's also quite dependent on the relationship, as it was before.

いろいろそういう風に言ってたんだけど

I've been saying various things like that.

これねまず出そうとしてしまうのって

What tends to come out first is...

あのいろんな人がいると思ってて

I think there are all kinds of people.

その友達といつも行ってて

I always go with that friend.

その流れで彼氏とも行くっていう人いるじゃん

There are people who say they'll go with their boyfriend in that flow, right?

どういう意味

What does it mean?

あのだから友達と行くっていう人いるじゃん

So, there are people who say they will go with their friends, right?

友達といつも割り勘してて

I always split the costs with my friends.

あーはいはい

Ah, yes, yes.

それが癖になってるから

Because it has become a habit.

彼氏とも割り勘みたいになっちゃってる人とか

People who end up splitting the bill even with their boyfriend.

うん

Yeah.

なんかそういうのが多いんだよね

There are a lot of things like that, you know.

でもさ男友達だったらどうじゃ

But what if it's a male friend?

男友達も私は出したことありません

I have never dated a male friend either.

恋愛は

Love is

あのこれね本当に私の場合ね

Well, in my case, you see...

もう徹底してるんだけど

It's already thoroughly done.

その

That.

女性同士もしくは上司ね

Between women or with a superior.

上司っていうかねこれね

I wouldn't say it's the boss, you know.

えーとちょっと隔たりのある人っているじゃん

Well, there are some people who feel a bit distant, right?

そこまで友達とかではなくて知り合いぐらいの人

They are not really friends, more like acquaintances.

とかあとはあの女性同士

Or else, it's about those women together.

これに関してはもちろん割り勘っていう風な運びになるんだけど

This will, of course, be split evenly.

あのデイティングっていうものって全然違うのね

That dating thing is completely different, huh?

知り合いとご飯食べに行くのと

Going out to eat with acquaintances.

そうだね

That's right.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

私の場合デイティングじゃなくって

In my case, it's not dating.

うん

Yeah.

なんていうか本当に男だけど友達だし

I don't know how to put it, but he's really just a guy, but we're friends.

うん

Yeah.

例えばあと旦那さんといっても

For example, even if I say "husband,"

うん

Yeah.

なんか順番に私が出す時と彼が出す時みたいにしちゃう

It feels like we're taking turns, with me going first and then him.

うんこれね

Yeah, this is it.

あのやっぱりその男性なんですね

So that man is really him, after all.

その男性が奢ってあげたいっていう気持ちがある人と

"Those who have the feeling that the man wants to treat them."

うん

Yeah.

あーやっぱりもういつも僕が奢ってんのって

Ah, I knew it, I always end up paying for you, don't I?

思う人って思う人といると思うのよ

I think that people who think tend to be with other people who think.

うん

Yeah.

なんだけどねこれね前もなんかの回で言ったけど

Well, I mentioned this in a previous episode as well...

女性が男性を育てるの

Women raise men.

はい

Yes

最初から男性はできないんです

From the beginning, men can't do it.

だからみんなねあーもういいわよねミニちゃんってそういう男性ばっかりで

That's why everyone is like, "Oh, it's fine, right? Mini-chan always attracts those kinds of guys."

えっと思っちゃうわけ

Well, that's what I think.

あーそうじゃないの

Ah, that's not it.

そうじゃないんですよ全く

That's not it at all.

あら

Oh my.

みんな最初出さないで私が出すのを待ってたような人がいるんですよ

It seems that there are people who were all waiting for me to present first instead of showing themselves.

そういう人たち

Such people.

えー

Uh...

それを

That.

そこからどうやってそういう風に育ったの

How did you grow up that way from there?

すぐ育てられるんですこれ

You can grow this right away.

あのこれはねすぐあのねこれね結局1回目2回目はやっぱそうやってたのよ

Well, you see, this, in the end, we were doing it that way for the first and second times.

だけど

But

なんか向こうも伺ってる様子

It seems like they are also observing from the other side.

そう伺ってる感じの様子

It seems like that's what I've heard.

そこでどう印象付けるか

So how do we make an impression?

そうあのねそこで

Yeah, you know, over there.

うん

Yeah.

ずーっと同じ流れになっちゃう人っているのか

Are there people who always end up in the same situation?

ずーっともう割り勘なら割り勘であーもういいわよねってこれね自分の中なの全部

I've been thinking that if we're going to split the bill, then let's just split it, right? This is all just in my head.

自分の中であ出してあげようとかね

"I'll let it out within myself, you know."

私食べたしっていうのが自分の中に必ず芽生えてるのよ

I definitely have the feeling that I've eaten it.

それで

So then

そう

That's right.

それで出して出すってことに対して

So, in relation to putting it out...

ありがとう私と一緒に過ごしてくれてって出すわけ

Thank you for spending time with me.

そうじゃなくてね

Not like that.

私そこを全部諦めたの

I gave up on everything there.

え

Eh?

諦めた

I gave up.

あの自分のその

That self of mine.

やったら

If you do it.

やってあげたーいっていう欲を

I have the desire to do it for you.

あーうん

Ah, yeah.

投げ捨てたってこと

It means "It means that (I) threw it away."

投げ捨てたそしたらどうなったの

What happened after you threw it away?

だからもうやってあげたーい欲っていわゆるお姉さんのようにね

So I really want to do it for you, like a big sister would.

うん

Yes.

あの私の場合年下の

Well, in my case, I prefer someone younger.

母性本能とかもそう

It's the same with maternal instinct.

そうそう母性本能とかあのまあ年上でも年下でも男性どっちでもいいよ

Yeah, yeah, maternal instincts and all that, I mean it doesn’t matter if they’re older or younger, male or female.

とにかくあのこの人ばっかりにはかわいそうだわ私も稼いでるしね

Anyway, I feel really sorry for that person. I'm earning money too, you know.

そう

Yes.

そうやっぱり男女平等の世の中なんだしみたいな

Yeah, I guess it's a world where gender equality is important and all that.

そうそれを全部あのその固定概念が私もあったんだけどそれ固定概念なんだけどそれを全部捨てたの

Yes, I had that fixed notion too, but I threw all of those fixed ideas away.

捨てた

I threw it away.

うん

Yeah.

だってさっきさやかちゃんが冒頭におっしゃってたようにみんなそうなんだけど女性はやっぱり怒られた方が楽なのよ

Well, as Sayaka-chan mentioned at the beginning, everyone feels this way, but for women, it's actually easier to be scolded.

うん

Yeah.

怒られたいの

I want to be scolded.

うん

Yeah.

だからこれは男性が育つってことだよ

So this means that men grow up.

っていうことはイコール男性の経済力もアップするってことなのね

That means it also equates to an increase in men's financial power.

おーそっかそっか

Oh, I see, I see.

うん

Yeah.

頼れば頼るほど私できないのやってって頼めば頼むほどお金もそう料金もそう割り勘もしなくなるね

The more I rely on you, the more I can't do it myself, and the more I ask for help, the less it becomes about splitting costs and fees.

彼が経済的にどんどん反映していくのよ

He is increasingly thriving economically.

それ前言ってたね確かそういえば

You mentioned that before, didn't you?

前も言ったと思う

I think I said it before.

旦那さんのことでね

It's about your husband.

そう

Yes.

あのね女性は男性を成長させてあげられる母性がさっきさやかちゃんがおっしゃってくれた母性があるんです育む力を持ってるの皆さんが

You know, women have a maternal nature that can help men grow, and that nurturing ability is what Sayaka-chan just mentioned, which everyone possesses.

これは子供を産んでる産んでないんじゃないのね女性には必ず母性があってそこでさやかちゃんとかすごい得意だと思うんだけどね

It’s not about whether a woman has given birth or not; every woman inherently has maternal instinct, and I think Sayaka-chan is really great at that.

あの得意だと思うというのは男性をいつも褒めたり喜ばせてくれるのが女性の力だと思うんだけどね

I think what I'm good at is making men happy and praising them, which I believe is the strength of women.

あなた可愛らしい

You are cute.

その声だけでさやかちゃんの声だけで多分喜ぶご馳走なのよ男性からすると

Just hearing that voice, just Sayaka's voice, is probably a feast that would make a man happy.

お金のことになると急に私の能力ってガクッと落ちるの

When it comes to money, my abilities suddenly drop significantly.

なんで

Why?

わかんない

I don't know.

なんでだろう

I wonder why.

あのねこれねお金っていうことってね

You know, when it comes to money...

本当にね

Really.

あのさやかちゃんのいるところと違うところがあるんですよ

You know, there is a difference between where Sayaka-chan is and where I am.

あのさやかちゃんってスピリチュアル性が高かったりクリエイティブな人芸術派だ

You know, Sayaka-chan has a high spiritual quality and is a creative, artistic person.

そういう人たちってねお金って真逆の物質的

People like that view money as the complete opposite of material things.

その芸術的情緒的スピリチュアルとかの真逆にいるんだよねお金って現実思考とかさ

Money is on the complete opposite side of those artistic, emotional, and spiritual aspects; it's all about practical thinking.

なんかそういうと

Well, something like that.

もう本当にドストレートにお金じゃん

It's really just straightforward money, isn't it?

ドストレートにお金じゃん

It's just straight to the money.

そうかなり物質

I wonder if that's really material.

そう取っちゃいがち

It's easy to take it that way.

でもさやっぱりスピリチュアルでお金も成功してる人たちっていうのは

But still, the people who are successful and making money in the spiritual realm are...

お金もエネルギーだしお金もスピリチュアルって言ってるじゃん

Money is energy, and they're saying that money is also spiritual.

でもそこにたどり着けないの

But I can't reach there.

これね自分が何を食べたいか

This is about what I want to eat.

自分がどんなレストランに行きたいかなのよ

I wonder what kind of restaurant I want to go to.

それがシンプルなの一番シンプル

That is the simplest of all.

どんなドリンクを飲みたいかね

What kind of drink do you want to have?

コンビニの

Convenience store's

わかった

Understood.

自分が何をしたいかって言ったら

If I were to say what I want to do...

私は本当は本心は奢ってほしいんだから

What I really want is for you to treat me.

それでいいんだよね

That's how it should be, right?

シンプルな答えなんです

It's a simple answer.

いつも真実は

The truth is always.

そうだよねそれを隠そうとしてるから変なことになるんだよね

That's right, it's because you're trying to hide that, which is why it ends up being strange.

隠そうと言おうか

Shall I say to hide it?

これねいろんな概念が幼少期からついちゃうのね

You know, various concepts attach to us from a young age.

前の話にも戻るんだけど

I'm going back to the previous topic, though.

幼少期のうちから

Since childhood

ずっと概念って刷り込まれるの親から

The concept has been ingrained in me by my parents for a long time.

先生から上司からいろんな人に刷り込まれていくわけ

You get ingrained with various ideas from teachers and bosses.

さやかそれ違うんじゃない

Sayaka, that's not right, is it?

さやかだけじゃなくていろんな人がね

Not just Sayaka, but various people as well.

AさんBさん違うんじゃないっていうのを

A and B are not the same, are they?

言われて育ってきてるの

I've been raised hearing that.

私たちって全員

We all do.

でその時に

At that time,

エミリー違うよ違うよって

Emily, that's not it, that's not it.

私ずっと言われたようにしてきたんだけれども

I've been doing what I've been told all along, but...

だから私がさっき諦めたって言ったんだけど

So I said earlier that I gave up.

言ったのは違っていいってことに気づいて

I realized that it's okay to be wrong when I said that.

それをその自分に嘘つくのを諦めたのよ

I've given up lying to myself about that.

自分に嘘つくのを諦めたのよ

I've given up on lying to myself.

そうだね

That's right.

手放したってこと

It means "It means I let go."

もう私だって

I can do it too.

以前の私もねそういう時あったのよ

There was a time when I was like that too.

例えば高級ディナー

For example, a luxury dinner.

何そんなのよりも手作りのでいいじゃないとか

"Why not something handmade instead of that?"

もちろん手作り私も大好きだから

Of course, I also love handmade things.

手作りも大好きだから

I also love handmade things.

手作りもするんだけど

I also make things by hand.

そうじゃなくてね

It's not like that.

私が言いたいのって

What I want to say is

やっぱりすごい汚い食堂と

As expected, it's a really dirty cafeteria and

すごい綺麗なレストランだと

It's a really beautiful restaurant.

私は綺麗な方が好きなんだけど

I prefer beautiful people, though.

汚いのが好きな人も絶対いっぱいいるから

There are definitely a lot of people who like dirty things.

それはそれでいいんだけど

That's fine in its own way, but...

私はもう綺麗なレストランが好きなのね

I already like beautiful restaurants.

そうか

I see.

でも好きなら好きで

But if you like it, then like it.

それはね自分の好きなんだから

That's because it's something I like.

好みだからいいと思うけど

I think it's good because it's to your liking.

私結構さ汚いところ

I’m quite dirty, you know.

好きじゃない汚いことが好きじゃないけど

I don't like dirty things that I don't like.

でもさなんていうか

Well, how should I put it...

香港とかのさなんか汚い

Places like Hong Kong are kind of dirty.

でも本場の味みたいなのが好きなんでね

But I like the taste that feels authentic.

なんていうか庶民の味が好みとかさ

I guess you could say I prefer the tastes of ordinary people.

うん

Yeah.

それってどう思う

What do you think about that?

いいと思うよ

I think it's good.

全然チープシックも

Not cheap chic at all.

だからそれが好きなの私

That's why I like it.

そういうチープシックがあって

There's a kind of cheap chic.

ラグジエリアスがあるから

Because there is a luxurious area.

ラグジエリアスがすごくいいように見えたり

Luxe areas seem really great.

チープシックがよく見えるじゃん

Cheap chic looks good, doesn't it?

両方あるからなのよ

It's because there are both.

両方あるから

Because there are both.

二つが愛おしく思えるんだけど

I feel that both are dear to me.

どっちかだとつまんなくなってくるのよみんな

If it's just one way, it becomes boring for everyone.

でもさそれが

But, you see, that...

それが何お金を遠ざけてるってことはない

That doesn't mean it's driving money away.

ないないない

No, no, no.

それは考えすぎだよさやかちゃんの

That's overthinking, Sayaka-chan.

多分ね

Maybe.

チープシックだろうが

It's cheap chic, isn't it?

ラグジエリアスだろうが

It must be luxurious.

私ラグジエリアスにずっといたいと思わないのよ

I don't want to be in Luxurious areas forever.

なぜかというとラグジエリアスにずっといちゃうと

The reason is that if you stay in Laguzieria for too long...

今度チープシックの

Next time, cheap chic.

そこの良さがあるんだよな

There's a goodness to that place.

っていうのはまたいいのよ

That's a good thing again.

だから両方の

So both of them.

この両極を行ったり来たりする

I go back and forth between these two extremes.

境界人

Boundary person

っていうか

I mean, or rather.

旅人みたいなのが私はすごいあってて

I feel a strong connection to something like a traveler.

自分が

Myself

両方いい

Both are good.

だからチープシック行きたいかったら

So if you want to go to cheap chic...

チープシック行ってもいいし

It's fine to go for cheap chic.

ただその時でもチープシック

Just that moment, it's still cheap chic.

行こうが

Let's go.

高級に行こうが

Let's go upscale.

これは男性に

This is for men.

おごってもらうのが一番いいの

The best thing is to have someone treat you.

そうだよね

That's right.

私

I

じゃあこの女

Then this woman.

払わないからいいやっていうような男性

A man who thinks it's fine not to pay.

嫌いなんだもん

I just don't like it.

まず最初にそっから

First of all, from there.

そういう男性が

Such a man

そこでどんどんどんどん

So, little by little.

落選してどんどんどんどん

"Getting rejected, again and again."

落ちていく

Falling down.

嫌だそんな男性

I don't like that kind of man.

だって若い男の子

Because he's a young boy.

もう私より20歳下とか

They're already 20 years younger than me.

それぐらいの人だってさ

It's that kind of person, you know.

超プライド高い人が

A person with extremely high pride.

いるんだよ

I'm here.

女性に

To a woman.

もう払われてたくない

I don't want to be paid anymore.

僕払う当たり前じゃん

Of course I'm going to pay.

みたいな人もいるんだよ

There are people like that too.

それがさ

That's the thing, you know.

20歳年下でもいるのにさ

Even though there's someone who's 20 years younger.

20歳年上の人が

Someone who is 20 years older.

払えよとか言って

"Say something like 'Pay up!'"

かっこ悪いと思わない

I don't think it's uncool.

っていう感じなんだよね

It's that kind of feeling, you know?

払えよって女性に言うのが

Telling a woman to pay up.

こなしてって

Handle it.

健康で

Healthy.

仕事も好きで

I also like my job.

ハツラツとしていて

Lively and spirited.

もちろんそういう

Of course it is like that.

精神病とかもなくて

There are no mental illnesses or anything like that.

ストレスもなくて

Without any stress.

元気でいる男性に

To a man who is doing well.

女性惹かれるじゃん絶対

Women are definitely attracted, aren't they?

うん確かに

Yeah, that's for sure.

メンタルも良くてよ

The mental state is good too.

元気で元気で

Healthy and energetic.

頼りになるとか

Dependable or reliable.

そうそう健康で

That's right, be healthy.

あのメンタルも健康で

That mental health is also good.

体も健康で

In good health physically.

仕事も僕好きなんだって言ってる人

People who say they like their job.

うん魅力的魅力的

Yeah, attractive and charming.

でしょ

Isn't it?

誰がどう見ても

No matter how anyone looks at it.

さやかちゃんもそうだけど

It's not just Sayaka-chan, but...

誰がどう見ても

No matter how you look at it.

魅力的なのよ

It's attractive.

そういう人って

People like that...

女性も男性もなんだけど

It's about both women and men.

でもそういう人たちって

But those kinds of people...

やっぱりお金持ってんのよ

After all, I have money.

ってこと

That means.

もちろん

Of course.

だって別に健康面も

Well, it's not like it's a health issue either.

支障もなくて

Without any issues.

だいたいそういう人って

Generally, people like that...

お金持ちが多いっていうか

It's more like there are a lot of rich people.

お金持ってない人も

Even those without money.

いるかもしれないけれども

It might be there, but...

やっぱり野心があったりとか

After all, there was ambition.

向上心がすごいある人は

People with a strong sense of ambition.

お金が出てくると思う

I think money will come out.

お金の方にも行くと思うけど

I think it will also involve money.

野心がない人っているのね

There are people who have no ambition.

もうこれぐらいでいいや

That's good enough for now.

みたいな

Like

それは自分を

That is oneself.

自分の活動の幅を狭めてる

I'm narrowing the scope of my activities.

っていうところなのね

That's the situation, huh?

あーそうか

Ah, I see.

でそこで女性が育ててあげられるってこと

So it means that a woman can raise (someone) there.

そうなの

I see.

それを言いたいの

I want to say that.

うん

Yeah.

そっか

I see.

エミリーの旦那さんも

Emily's husband too.

そうやって育って

That's how I grew up.

すごい経済力が上がったって

The economic power has greatly increased.

言ってたもんね

You said that, didn't you?

うん

Yeah.

私もじゃあクリスにもっと

Then I'll also give Chris more.

おごらせて育ててみる

I'll let you treat me and see how you raise me.

頑張る

Do your best.

うん

Yeah.

さやかちゃんの方が

Sayaka-chan is better.

だからできます

That's why I can do it.

頑張って

Do your best!

ありがとう

Thank you.

はい

Yes

それじゃあ今回はここで終わりにするな

Well, let's call it a day here this time.

はいまたねー

Okay, see you later!

またねー

See you later!

エミリー

Emily

はーい

Yes!

なんであろうが

Whatever it may be.

どうであろうが

No matter how it is.

あなたは幸せにしかならないからね

You can only be happy.

当初

Initially

毎週土曜の夜配信にしようと思って始めた

I thought about starting to stream every Saturday night.

ポッドキャストですが

It's a podcast, but...

なかなか時間の折り合いがつかず

It's been difficult to find a suitable time.

すっかり不定期配信になってしまいました

It has completely become an irregular distribution.

なかなか時間の折り合いがつかず

It's difficult to find a good time.

すっかり不定期配信になってしまいました

It has completely turned into an irregular distribution.

そこで開き直り

So I turned the tables.

アナウンスもこの機会に変えてみました

I decided to change the announcement during this opportunity.

ご質問は常に募集中です

Questions are always welcome.

いつでもお気軽に

Feel free to reach out anytime.

恋愛博士

Doctor of Love

at gmail.com

at gmail.com

renai

romance

hakase

Doctor (or Professor)

at gmailまで

to gmail

よろしくお願いします

Thank you in advance.

できればね

If possible.

なるべく状況がありありと想像できるように

So that one can vividly imagine the situation as much as possible.

質問してくださると

If you ask a question,

エミリーの直感で

With Emily's intuition.

ビビッときて

I got a vibe.

本当にびっくりするほど

It's truly astonishing.

ドンピシャな答えや

That's exactly the right answer!

私には思いつかないような

Something I can't think of.

これやってみるといいよ

You should give this a try.

っていうアドバイスで

With that advice.

思わぬ成果が出たりするんですよ

Unexpected results can occur.

それでは

Well then.

次回もお楽しみに

Look forward to the next time!