『ドライブ行きたーい』←目的を明示しろバカ#最終回

ブーンつって

Bzz, it goes.

キキーつってな

It goes "kikii" (like a screeching sound).

ラブホの帰りに聞くラジオ

Radio listened to on the way back from a love hotel.

さて始まりました

Now, it has begun.

ラブホの帰りに聞くラジオ

Radio to listen to on the way back from a love hotel.

この番組は楽しかったラブホ帰りをもっと楽しく

This show makes the fun of coming back from a love hotel even more enjoyable.

つまらなかったラブホ帰りを

I returned from a boring love hotel.

少しでもマシなものにしようという

Let's make it at least a little better.

新感覚ラブホバラエティ番組でございます

This is a new sensation love hotel variety show.

そして本日もお送りいたしますのは

And today, we will also be sending you...

私北本

I am Kitamoto.

そして私長谷川でお送りいたします

And I will be sending this as Hasegawa.

ブーンつってな

"Buzzing, you know?"

ほんでキキーつってな

And then it goes "kikii."

つってな

I’m saying that.

サイドブレーキキッつってな

"I'll pull the handbrake."

教習所?教習所の話?

Driving school? Talking about driving school?

ミラーパターン畳んでな

Fold the mirror pattern, okay?

言ってな

I said it.

ほんでなんか

So, like...

鉱石とか確認したりしてな

I've been checking things like ores.

巻き込み確認よしとか言うたりしてな

Saying something like "make sure to check for entanglement," huh?

ガタンゴトンが来るとこで窓ブーン開けたりな

When the train comes rumbling, I open the window with a whoosh.

そういうのもやったりしてな

I do things like that too.

違うんすよ

That's not it.

教習所のじゃなくて

Not from the driving school.

教習所のラジオじゃないんだ

It's not a driving school radio.

ドライブ行きたーいっていう女

A girl who says she wants to go for a drive.

いるじゃないですか

You're right there, aren't you?

ええやんええやん

That's great, that's great!

なんかやたらインターネットとかでも見ません?

Don't you see it quite a lot on the internet or something?

ドライブ行きたいみたいな

I want to go for a drive.

ツイートするやつ

The one who tweets.

なんなんだ?

What the heck?

別に今まで何の感情もなく過ごしてきたけど

I’ve been living without any particular feelings until now, but...

何が目的なんだ?

What is the purpose?

思いません?

Don't you think?

何が目的なんだ?

What is the objective?

お前は

You are

世界ってそんな全ての物事の目的を言わないから

The world doesn't specify the purpose of everything.

でも思うでしょ

But you think, right?

ドライブ行きたい

I want to go for a drive.

言われてみたらね

Now that you mention it.

お前何が目的だ?

What is your purpose?

これは何?男とっていう意味か?

What is this? Does it mean "man"?

やっぱドライブ

After all, it's a drive.

っていうことなのか?

Is that what it means?

それも分かんないじゃん

I don't understand that either.

確かに

Certainly.

で大体その

So basically, that…

あのー

Um...

いや車アカウントの女

No, the car account girl.

の子が言うんだったら俺はいい

If the child says so, then I'm fine with it.

別に自分の車で乗りたいってことですから

It's just that I want to ride in my own car.

まあね

Well, you know.

なんか車持ってないような女の子が

It seems like a girl who doesn't own a car.

ドライブ行きたいみたいな

I want to go for a drive or something like that.

何その運転はせずに

What do you mean by not driving like that?

運転がしたいじゃないもんね

It's not that I want to drive.

運転がしたいなら分かるよ

I understand if you want to drive.

アクセル踏みたいならまだ分かるね

I can still understand if you want to press the accelerator.

ドライブしたいでも運転はせずに

I want to drive, but without actually driving.

でもドライブもいろんなドライブあるから

But there are all kinds of drives.

そう

Yes.

やっぱりその

After all, that...

何が目的だ?

What is the purpose?

心をドライブっていう意味かもしれないし

It might mean driving the heart.

この

This

ドライブ感のドライブ

The drive of drive.

の可能性もあるから

because there is also the possibility

ドライブBの可能性もあるし

There is also the possibility of Drive B.

清学の

Seigaku's

清学の一前の

Before Seigaku.

可能性もある

There is a possibility.

そうだからその

That's why, um...

ドライブ行きたいって

I want to go for a drive.

いやでもだから

No, but that's why.

バッと考えるなら

If I think quickly,

やっぱその

Well, you know...

一中の

"Ichichu no" (This phrase alone does not have a clear meaning in English without additional context.)

男と

With the man

ええ感じにドライブ行って

Let's go for a nice drive.

ご飯食べて

Eat your meal.

何だったらこの

What if this is...

ホテルにそのままスー入りたいわ

I want to go straight to the hotel.

じゃあもうドライブ関係ないじゃん

Well, then it has nothing to do with driving anymore.

ドライブ関係ないの?

Does it have nothing to do with driving?

って思うの

I think so.

ドライブ関係ないの?

Is it unrelated to driving?

いやいやしたいでしょドライブ

You want to go for a drive, right?

でその

Well then,

車何でもいいの

Any car is fine.

いやいやよくない

No, that's not good.

だってドライブ

Because it's a drive.

その車にカーに乗って移動する

I will move by getting into that car.

がしたいだったら

If you want to do it

もう何でもいいの

I don't care about anything anymore.

いやいやいや

No, no, no.

ちょっといい車の方がいいんじゃない?

Isn't a slightly nicer car better?

そうだから何でもよくないんでしょ

That's why it shouldn't be anything goes, right?

何でもよくないこと言えよ

"Say whatever bad thing you want."

ワゴンRだとちょっとってなるんじゃない?

Isn't it a bit off with the Wagon R?

ワゴンRとかさ

Like the Wagon R, you know?

だと嫌なんでしょ

That's probably bothersome, isn't it?

タントとかだと

For something like the Tanto,

いや知らんけど

Well, I don't know, though.

ミラーとか

Like a mirror.

ミラー

Mirror

だったら嫌なんでしょ

Then you don't want that, right?

まあね

Well, yeah.

書いてほしい

I want you to write.

あの

Um...

ウィンドウを手でこう

"Like this with the hand on the window."

回すタイプだったら嫌なんでしょ

You wouldn't want it if it was the type that spins, right?

ドライブ行きたい

I want to go for a drive.

ミラーでは行きたくなーい

I don't want to go by the mirror.

あと私は運転したくなーい

I don't want to drive anymore.

その何目的なの

What is that for?

だってそのなんか

Well, it's just that...

ドライブしたい

I want to go for a drive.

なんかその

Well, um...

愚痴聞いてほしいみたいな

It seems like I want someone to listen to my complaints.

え?

Huh?

例えばね

For example.

ドライブしたいが愚痴

I want to go for a drive, but I'm complaining.

だったらなんか分かるのよ

Then I sort of understand.

大人がお酒飲みたい気分じゃないけど

I don't feel like drinking alcohol as an adult, but...

なんかちょっと喋りたい

I want to talk a little.

あーなるほどね

Ah, I see.

でもなんか

But somehow

車中という空間でね

In the space called a car.

そう

Yes.

喫茶店に行きたいなぁ

I want to go to a café.

もうなんか変だし

It's just kind of weird now.

それだとなんかちょっと

That feels a bit off.

テンション上がんないから

I'm not feeling hyped up.

純喫茶アカウントとは別よ

It's different from the pure coffee shop account.

純喫茶アカウントだって

It's a pure coffee shop account.

ええですけど

That's fine, but...

そのなんか

That something

はいはい

Yes, yes.

取り留めのない話をちょっと

Just a little bit of a rambling conversation.

うん

Yeah.

なんか

Something

したい

I want to.

ほんのり

Slightly

疲れてるから

Because I'm tired.

みたいな

Like that

うん

Yeah.

ことなの

It is a matter of...

だったらその目的は書いてほしいのよ

Then I would like you to write down that purpose.

ドライブに行きたい

I want to go for a drive.

かっこ

cool

その主な目的としては

The main purpose of that is

取り留めのない話をしたいので

I want to have a rambling conversation.

ミラーでも大丈夫

It's okay even with a mirror.

とかなのか

What is it?

うん

Yeah.

そうだから

That's why.

お前何してるの

What are you doing?

何が目的だ

What is the purpose?

世界ってそういう風にできてないのよ

The world doesn't work that way.

お前一体何が目的なんだ

What the hell is your objective?

何だったらいいんだ

What would be good?

取説が全てあるわけじゃないのよ

It's not that everything comes with a manual.

そう

Yes.

うん

Yeah.

取説を書いてほしい

I would like you to write a manual.

まあね

Well, you know.

うん

Yeah.

全部書いてほしい

I want you to write everything.

そのこのぐらいの車種で

In this range of car models.

男のビジュアルはこのぐらいで

The man's visual is around this much.

私は全く運転しないで

I don't drive at all.

主な目的としては

The main purpose is

このような形だから

Because it's in this form.

ドライブに行きたい

I want to go for a drive.

まあもう

Well, already...

ドライブというか

It's more like a drive.

っていう

"That's what I'm saying."

本筋はこれですって

This is the main point.

婚活予想になる

It will become a marriage activity forecast.

言ってほしい

I want you to say it.

言ってほしいの

I want you to say it.

ああ

Ah.

いやでも

Well, but...

ちょっと気持ちわかるかもしれない

I might understand how you feel a little.

ドライブってちょっと特殊じゃん

Driving is a bit special, isn't it?

何が

What is it?

音楽とかかけたりさ

Like playing music and stuff.

うん

Yeah.

ほんでなんか

And then something...

これ好きなんだみたいな

I kind of like this.

うん

Yeah.

言ったりするやん

You say things like that, don't you?

うん

Yeah.

そのときめきじゃない

It's not that thrill.

でもそのほら

But you see...

もう車じゃないじゃん

It's not a car anymore.

メインが

The main (dish/part).

メインは車じゃないよ

The main thing is not the car.

その

That

じゃあさ

Well then,

ただ車がないと

But without a car...

じゃあその

Well then, that...

何

What

あの

Um...

台車だと無理よ

It won't work with a cart.

男クタクタでもいいの

It's okay for men to be worn out.

逆に言ったら

In other words,

その

That

じゃあいい車で

Well then, a nice car.

うん

Yeah.

いい車で

A nice car.

クタクタ男だったら

If he were a tired man.

うん

Yeah.

いいんですか

Is that okay?

いやちょっとね

Well, you see...

いやちょっととか言うじゃない

Well, you say "just a little," don't you?

逆に

On the contrary.

いい男で

A good man.

うん

Yeah.

タイの

Thai

トゥクトゥクだったら

If it were a tuk-tuk.

いいけどね

That's fine.

ああだからほら

Ah, that's why, you see.

もうなんかその

Well, um...

なんかもうそれ何なの

What even is that?

じゃあいい男で

Then be a good man.

いい男で

A good man.

トゥクトゥクならいいけど

If it's a tuk-tuk, that would be good, but...

いい男で

Be a good man.

Nボックスだったらどうなの

What about if it's an N Box?

いい男Nボックス全然いいでしょ

A good man, the N box is totally fine, right?

いい男Nボックスはいいの

The good-looking man N box is good.

女の子別にそんな車種とか気にしないもん

Girls don't really care about the type of car.

ちゃ

Cha

そんないい車だからすごいみたいな

It's such a great car, so it seems incredible.

ないから

Because there isn't.

わかんないし

I don't know.

いやじゃあ軽でもいいの

Well then, a light one is fine.

軽でもいいよ

It's fine to be light.

軽でもいい本当に軽でもいい

It's fine to be light, really, it can be light.

あのーなんか農家のギリギリの軽で

Um, something about a farmer's risky light truck.

そうね

That's right.

これ何年もの

What year is this?

道端で15万ぐらいで売られてるような

It seems to be selling for around 150,000 yen on the roadside.

そうそう

That's right.

終わりかけた

It's coming to an end.

3万とかで売られてる

It's being sold for about 30,000.

軽じゃなければ

If it's not light.

60万キロ

600,000 kilometers

そう

Yes.

そんな走ってる

How about running like that?

飛んであるっていう

They say it's flying.

うん

Yeah.

のじゃなく

not - no

じゃなければ

Otherwise

普通にその何

Normally, that thing...

そのなんかレンタカーの一番安いやつとかでも別にいいよ

Even the cheapest rental car is fine with me.

いいの

It's okay.

いいでしょ

It's nice, isn't it?

いいかって思うのよ

I wonder if it's okay.

クタクタの男じゃなくて

Not a worn-out man.

なければね

"If there isn't, then..."

おいおいじゃあもうドライブじゃないじゃない

Hey, then it's not a drive anymore.

ドライブの顔を

The face of the drive.

じゃあ何

So what?

だから

So.

ドライブの顔をかぶった

Wore a face of a drive.

ビジュアルのいい男と

A good-looking man and

ほんのり二人きりの空間で喋りたいなの

I want to chat in a subtly intimate space, just the two of us.

そうだね

That's right.

だからドライブじゃない

So it's not a drive.

ドライブがいいんだったら

If you enjoy driving...

あの男が車に変形するパターンでもいい

It's fine if that man transforms into a car.

良くなっちゃうから

Because it will get better.

トランスフォーマーみたいな

Like a Transformer.

そんなわけねえだろ

There's no way that's true.

そういうドライブもあるから

Because there are drives like that too.

で後頭部に乗ってもらってっていうタイプの

It's the type that you want to ride on the back of your head.

ドライブでも

Even while driving.

結局ね

In the end, you know.

それがその空間にいたいっていう

"I want to be in that space."

でその全部書け

So write all of that down.

しかもそのそういう過去が今まであって

Moreover, such a past has existed until now.

それを思い出してます

I'm remembering that.

そう確かにそれはある

Yes, that's certainly true.

そのなんか結局

Well, in the end...

初手でそれは書かないもん

I won't write that on my first move.

結局昔ドライブで良かった思い出を

In the end, it was a good memory from a drive in the past.

なぞりたいがためにドライブに行きたいと言ってますと

"I'm saying I want to go for a drive just to trace it."

そう書け

Write it like that.

だからなぞれるぐらいいい男と

So he's a good enough man that I could trace him.

なぞれるぐらいの車でお願いしますと

Please make it a car that I can trace over.

確かにね

That's true.

あのレインボーブリッジの夜景が

The night view of that Rainbow Bridge.

忘れられませんの方がね

I can't forget you.

そう、いやそうなのよ

Yes, that's right.

はいはい

Yes, yes.

車とか何でもいいのって

Anything is fine, like a car or something.

思う

to think

オープンカーとかだったら風もう

If it's a convertible, the wind will...

ブヴォーブヴヴォーない

Bubuwa Bububwo doesn't exist.

でなんかその

Well, um...

髪とかグシャグシャだるし

My hair is all messy.

あんま喋れないけどって

"I can't really talk that much, but..."

あなたでもドライブしたいんだったら

If you want to drive too,

文句言うなよみたいな

"Don't complain, okay?"

感じもありますから

There is also a feeling.

ほんと目的かけ

Really, it's a purpose.

目的をかかないと

You have to specify the purpose.

最悪のドライブになるかのうせい

The possibility of it becoming the worst drive.

目的をかけってることですから

It's because I'm focused on my goals.

なめんじゃないよと

"Don't underestimate me."

そんで悪くないみたいな顔されますから

And then you get that kind of look that says it’s not so bad.

男に

To a man

そうなのよ

That's right.

だってそのドライブ行きたいっていうさ

Because you said you want to go on that drive.

オーダーだったらさ

If it was an order...

だって書いてないじゃないか

But it doesn't say that.

そう書いてないじゃないか

That's not what it says, is it?

ヨレヨレNBOXだって

Even a worn-out NBOX.

二人で乗って何かどっか行けば

If we ride together, we could go somewhere.

うん

Yeah.

ちょっと5キロ先の王将に行けば別に

If I go to Ousho, which is 5 kilometers away, it's fine.

もうそれだって

That's already it.

ひどい意味でドライブじゃないかっていう

Isn't it a horrible drive?

違う持てないよそんなこと

I can't do that.

ことなっちゃうから

It would be different.

はい

Yes

全部言ってほしい

I want you to tell me everything.

全部言ったほうがいい

It's better to say everything.

求めるものを

What is sought after

あー確かに

Ah, that's true.

相手

Opponent

うん

Yeah.

場所

Location

この情報化社会ね

This information society, huh?

そう目的

That's the purpose.

匹みを持たせちゃうとよくないかもしれない

It might not be good to make it too tame.

はい

Yes.

ですからね

So you see.

はい

Yes

もうほんとドライブ行きたいって言うな

Don't say you really want to go for a drive anymore.

はい

Yes

言う時はもうカッコいい全部書け

When you say it, write everything cool.

うん

Yeah.

はいというわけでこの番組は毎週月曜日の週1回放送だったんですが

Yes, this program was broadcast once a week every Monday.

だったんですが

It was...

はい

Yes

もうもう終わります

It's almost over.

あ終わります

Ah, it's ending.

おー終わります

Oh, it's ending.

今日で急に終わります

It will suddenly end today.

おー

Oh!

そんな感じもなかったのに急に

It wasn't like that at all, but then suddenly…

そんな感じもなかった冒頭からね

It didn't feel like that from the very beginning, you know.

はいはい

Yes, yes.

車は急に止まれないけど

The car can't stop suddenly, but...

ラボの帰りに来くラジオは急に

The radio that comes back from the lab suddenly.

ガッて止まります

It stops suddenly.

はははは

Hahaha

0点で

At zero points.

1年ぐらいですか

Is it around a year?

あーやってたんじゃない

I wasn't doing it like that.

多分

Maybe.

1年以上やってた気はするけど

I feel like I've been doing it for over a year.

1年以上やってた気はしますが

I feel like I've been doing this for over a year.

はいはい

Yes, yes.

やめる理由としては

The reason for quitting is...

うん

Yeah.

まあなんか特に意味ないからやっててもっていう

Well, it's not particularly meaningful, so I could just do it anyway.

はははは

Hahaha

なんかリアルなとこよねー

It's kind of a real place, isn't it?

なんかこれ

This is something.

ほんと

Really.

なんか特にやってて意味ないかっていう感じになったからです

I felt like there was no particular meaning in what I was doing.

なんかこうそうなんだよね

It's kind of like that, isn't it?

うん

Yeah.

歩いてるだけっていうか

It's more like just walking.

歩いてるだけ

Just walking.

まあ1年やったにしては

Well, considering it's only been a year...

うん

Yeah.

そのまあちょっと伸びたかなぐらいだったかな

Well, it was just a bit longer, I guess.

確かに聞いてくれてる人も多いですしね

Certainly, there are many people who are listening.

めっちゃけ

Super cute!

うん

Yeah.

そのー

Um...

ダラダラーやってたから

Because I was goofing around.

わけじゃないけど

It's not that I don't want to, but...

1年まあ割とちゃんと頑張った割には

For a year that I worked reasonably hard, it was relatively…

はいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes.

なんか聞いてくれる人増えてるとか

It seems like there are more people listening to me.

うん

Yeah.

そのスポティファイの公式にピックされて

Picked officially by Spotify.

星とか多分めちゃくちゃついた

I probably got a lot of stars.

確かにね

That's true.

ですが

However

星をつけていただいた皆さんありがとうございます

Thank you to everyone who gave me stars.

まあなんか多分このままダラダラーやっても

Well, I guess if we just keep lounging around like this...

うん

Yeah.

なんかまあ同じぐらいとか微増のね

Well, it's something like a slight increase or about the same.

はいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes.

微増のリスナー数みたいな

Like a slight increase in the number of listeners.

うん

Yeah.

のでやっても

So even if I do it

そのー

Well...

あんま意味ない

It doesn't really mean much.

あんま意味ないっすなって

It doesn’t really mean much, does it?

寿命が永遠の神だったらいいんだけど

I wish I could live forever like a god.

そうそうそう

That's right, that's right, that's right.

死んでまうわって

"I'm going to die."

そう

Yes.

まあだからね

Well, that's why.

あのー

Um...

割とおもろい企画でしたなということで

It was quite an interesting project, wasn't it?

はい

Yes.

しまりますという

It means "It will be closed."

はいはいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

ちゅんと

Chun to

星になったということ

The fact that I became a star.

星になったという

They say you became a star.

ふふふふ

Hehehehe.

ちゅんと

Chun to.

はいはい

Yes, yes.

っていう理由で

For that reason.

うん

Yeah.

なので

So.

なのでね

So, you see.

はい

Yes

あのー

Um...

またなんか

Again something.

やるかもしんないし

I might do it.

はいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes.

やんないかもしんないので

I might not do it.

うん

Yeah.

あのー

Um...

まあこの過去

Well, this past...

100回はないかぐらいなんでね

It's probably not even close to 100 times.

そうだね

I see.

多分

Maybe.

ラブホの

Love hotel

この帰りに聞くラジオ

The radio I listen to on the way back.

はい

Yes.

これにて

With this.

まあ一時完結ということで

Well, let's say it's a temporary conclusion.

そう完結ということでね

So, that's that for the conclusion.

はい

Yes

まあ時折こう聞き返したりして

Well, sometimes I ask for clarification like this.

はい

Yes

この肝に銘じてください

Please engrave this in your heart.

はい

Yes.

僕がこれまで言ったことだったりよね

That's what I have said until now, isn't it?

そうですね

I see.

はい

Yes

あのーお便りに関してはね

Um, regarding the letter...

あのー

Um...

全然読ませずすいませんでした

I'm sorry for not letting you read it at all.

ふふふふふ

Hehehehe.

来てはいたんだけどね

I had come, you know.

来てはいたんですよ

I was coming, you know.

うん

Yeah.

そうなのよ

That's right.

うん

Yeah.

そのー

Um...

来てはいたんだけど

I was here, but...

まあでもモチベーション的にはね

Well, in terms of motivation...

来るたびに

Every time I come.

テリリッ

Terrily.

そうそう

That's right.

ってはなってるから

It's because it has become that way.

なってたから

Because it became.

うん

Yeah.

非常にありがたかった

I was very grateful.

そうですね

That's right.

ですね

That's right.

うん

Yeah.

ただ結局最後まで

But in the end, until the very end.

うん

Yeah.

お便りを読むよりも

Rather than reading letters

僕の中にある話を話した方が

It's better to tell the story that's within me.

面白いからねー

Because it's interesting!

ブーブーンっつって

Vroom vroom!

キーッつってな

"That's a key!"

っていうね

You know what I mean?

っていうことでしたね

That's what it was, right?

はい

Yes

はいというわけでね

Well, that's that.

あのーまあどこかまたご縁があれば

Well, if there’s a chance to meet again somewhere...

うん

Yeah.

はい

Yes

Twitterとかは多分引き続きやったりやんなかったり

I will probably continue to use Twitter sometimes and sometimes not.

はいはい

Yes, yes.

っていう形でまた何か面白いことで

In that way, with something interesting again.

うん

Yeah.

あの出会えたらいいなと思いますので

I hope we can meet someday.

またご縁があれば聞いてください

If we have another opportunity, please ask again.

みんなも

Everyone too

頑張れよ

Do your best!

みんなも頑張れよ

Everyone, do your best!

ラブホの生き返り

Revival of a Love Hotel

うん

Yeah.

これがなくなっても楽しめよ

Enjoy it even without this.

というわけで本日もお送りいたしました私北山と

So, today I have brought you this, I, Kitayama.

そして私長谷川でした

And I was Hasegawa.

バイバイ

Goodbye