私が今タイにいる理由。

本日も本日記を始めたいと思います

I would like to begin today’s diary as well.

なので今日も今回も何を喋ろうかあまり考えていなくて

So I haven't really thought about what to talk about today or this time either.

いつも通り台本のないラジオ番組というかポッドキャストとしてやるんですけども

As usual, we'll be doing it as a radio show, or rather a podcast, without a script.

今私はですねタイに来てまして

I am currently in Thailand.

タイのパタヤという海が綺麗なビーチが綺麗なところにいるんですよ

I'm in Pattaya, Thailand, which is a beautiful place with a lovely beach and clear sea.

人のバンコクから車で2時間ぐらいで

About a 2-hour drive from Bangkok.

2時間ぐらい右下南東方面に向かったところにあるんですけど

It's located about two hours in the southeast direction.

まあ5代目がねタイに来た理由ということで

Well, as for the reason the fifth generation came to Thailand...

タイに来た理由を喋りたいと思います

I would like to talk about the reason I came to Thailand.

まずですねちょっと話が飛ぶんですけど

First of all, this might be a bit off-topic, but...

私現在25歳

I am currently 25 years old.

先週先々週

Last week and the week before last.

嘘だもう1ヶ月くらい経つか25歳になったんですけど

No way, it's been about a month already, and I've turned 25.

20歳の時に大学に入学したんですよ

I entered university when I was 20 years old.

4月大学20歳だから5年前ですね大学に入学しまして

I entered university five years ago since I was 20 years old in April.

大学に入学をする前3月ぐらいに新しいバイトを始めようと思って

I thought about starting a new part-time job about three months before entering university.

家の近くに

Near my house.

オープンした新しくオープンする予定の

Newly opened and予定のis set to open.

某ピザ屋チェーン店に応募したんですね

You applied to a certain pizza chain, right?

でピザ屋っていうと

When it comes to pizza places,

デリバリー配達業じゃないですか

Isn't it a delivery service?

私普段バイク乗るし

I usually ride my motorcycle.

まあ普通のところよりも

Well, more than the usual place.

普通のバイトよりもなんかちょっと時給高くて

It's a bit higher than the usual part-time job pay.

まあオープニングサフっていうのもあって時給高くて

Well, since it's an opening shift, the hourly wage is high.

で家からもね歩いて2分とか3分ぐらいのところにあるから

It's about a 2 to 3-minute walk from home.

めっちゃいいじゃんってことで始めたんですね

So you started because it's really great, huh?

でその時その店の開店がね4月3月だっけな

So at that time, the store was opening in March or April, if I remember correctly.

3月か4月だったんですよ

It was in March or April.

でその時に

At that time,

そのオープニングの募集に応募して

I applied for that opening recruitment.

だから決まった時にはまだオープンしてなかったから

So it wasn't open yet at the time it was decided.

近くの隣の店舗

The nearby neighboring store.

隣なのかな

Is it next door?

ちょっと離れたところにある店舗で

At a store located a little farther away.

研修というかトレーニングをさせられてたんですね

I was being put through training, so to speak.

その店舗の社員さんがいて

There is an employee from that store.

ある男がいまして

There was a man.

まあキノピーって言うんですけども

Well, my name is Kinopy.

キノピーっていう社員がいて

There is an employee named Kinopy.

でその社員は後々店長になるっていうことで

So that employee is going to become the store manager later on.

でその店長になる先が私がその応募した

So the future manager is the one I applied to.

オープンする新しい店舗の店長になる人だったんですね

You were the person who would become the manager of the new store that is opening.

なんでその研修に行った店舗でも

Why did the store that attended that training...

そのキノピーっていう店長

That store manager called Kinopy.

社員がめっちゃ仕事教えてくれて

The employees are really teaching me a lot about the job.

まあその店舗の店長が

Well, the store manager of that location...

その人といずれ働くことになるから

Because I will eventually work with that person.

まあ私もうまくやろうというか

Well, I'm going to do my best too.

仲良くしようっていう感じでやってて

It feels like we're trying to get along.

でキノピーはいくつだ

So how old is Kinopy?

4個上か

Four years older.

年もそんな離れてなくて

The years aren't that far apart.

当時私が20歳で彼が24歳

At that time, I was 20 years old and he was 24 years old.

4つ離れてるって感じだったんです

It felt like we were four steps apart.

でそこからまあ

Well, from there...

まあ働くにつれて

Well, as I work...

プライベートでもすごい仲良くなって

We've become really close even in our private lives.

お酒飲みに行ったりとか

Going out for drinks or something like that.

お酒飲みに行くことがメインだったから

Because the main thing was going out for drinks.

飲みに行ったりとか

Going out for drinks or something.

飲みに行ったり

Go out for drinks.

なんか時々なんかパチンコ行こうぜみたいなんで

Sometimes I feel like saying, "Let's go to the pachinko parlor."

一緒に行ったりとか

Like going together and stuff.

あと

あと - Later / After that

しばらくしてなんか私とバイク

After a while, something happened between me and the bike.

私がバイクに乗ってるのが

I am riding a motorcycle.

彼はすごい羨ましかったみたいな

It seems he was really jealous.

私と一緒にツーリングに行くために

To go touring with me.

それ言い過ぎかもしれないけど

I might be exaggerating, but...

私を見て中型の免許を取ってくれたり

Look at me and get a medium-sized license for me.

一緒にツーリング行ったりとかしたり

Like going on a tour together and such.

ほんと仲良くて

We really get along well.

ほんとまあバイトでも顔合わせるし

Well, we still see each other at our part-time job, don't we?

休みの日はもっとあったりとかしてるし

I have more days off and things like that.

遊ぶしみたいな感じで

It feels like playing.

本当になんか良かったんですよ

It was really quite good.

ただ彼には欠点というか

It's just that he has a flaw, or rather...

ダメなところも多くて

There are many things that aren't good.

例えば酔っ払うと

For example, when I get drunk...

本当にどうしようもなくなっちゃうんです

It really becomes hopeless.

私が知ってる人

The person I know.

知ってる友達の中でも

Among the friends I know.

一番と言って言うほど酒癖が悪くて

I have such a bad drinking habit that I would say it's the worst.

理性ぶっ飛ばすんですよ

It blows away reason.

本当に寝たら起きないとか

"Really, if I fall asleep, I won't wake up."

急に暴力振るうとか

Suddenly resorting to violence or something.

本当に人として疑うようなことをするタイプで

They are the type of person who does things that truly make you question their humanity.

まあでも別に私は彼のことが好きなわけでもない

Well, I don't really like him or anything.

恋愛的に好きなわけでもないし

It's not that I have romantic feelings for you.

付き合ってるわけでもないし

We're not even dating.

本当友達なんなら

If we are true friends

その先輩後輩じゃないけど

That senior isn't a junior.

仕事の中での関係だから

Because it's a relationship within work.

そういうそれがあっても

Even with that being the case,

別にいいかなって思ってたんですよ

I was thinking it was fine either way.

まあ年も上だし

Well, I'm older after all.

いろいろこう伸びない

It doesn't really stretch in various ways.

出してくれたりとか

Like letting me out or something.

っていうのもあったから

That's why there was that.

私も若干こういいように使ったっていうのもあるんですけど

I also somewhat used it this way, though.

そんな彼が言いまして

He said that.

まあなんだけど

Well, you know...

結局その新しくオープンしたお店で

In the end, at that newly opened shop...

3、4ヶ月働いた時に

When I worked for 3 or 4 months

みきのぴーが別の店舗に移動することになっちゃって

Miki P has been transferred to another store.

そこでこう離れたんです

That's why we got separated.

ちょっとだけ

Just a little.

その時に移動した店舗の人が足りないから

Because the store that moved at that time is short-staffed.

なんかお前も一緒に来てくれないかって言われて

I was told, "Why don't you come along too?"

私も引き抜かれるって言われたんですけど

I was told that I would be poached too.

引き抜かれるって言われたんですけど

I was told that I would be taken away.

引き抜かれるって言ったらなんかあれだけど

It sounds a bit strange to say I was pulled out, but...

まあ連れてかれたっていうか

Well, I was taken, or rather...

っていう感じで

It's like that.

その家から近かったんですけど

It was close to that house, though.

違う店舗の方に移動して

Please move to a different store.

えっと働いてたんですよ

Well, I was working.

で結局まあその後

So in the end, well, after that...

彼また別の店舗に行っちゃって

He's gone to another store.

さすがに私はもうそこまではついていけない

As expected, I can no longer keep up with that.

まあ家からどんどん遠くなってくし

Well, we're getting further and further away from home.

なんかそこまでして一緒になんか働いて

It feels like going that far just to work together.

行くのも気持ち悪いし

I feel uneasy about going.

まあそんな感じで

Well, something like that.

一緒に働かなくなったんですよ

We no longer work together.

まあでもプライベートはすごい仲良くて

Well, we get along really well in private.

まあ言うて同じ職場っていうか

Well, I mean, it's the same workplace, so...

同じところにいるから

Because we're in the same place.

シフトとかも見れるから

You can also check the shifts.

いつ休みとかも分かるし

I can also tell when the breaks are.

それで誘ったり誘われたりとかで

So, it's about inviting and being invited, and so on.

すごいプライベートもなんかよくそのまま進んでって

Amazing, even my private life seems to be going smoothly just as it is.

でつい最近

Just recently.

いつだ6月か2ヶ月くらい前か

Was it in June, about two months ago?

ちょっと事件が起こりまして

A little incident occurred.

私は今クソニートなので

I am currently a complete NEET.

クソニートというか

More like a damn NEET.

まあまともに働いていないので

Well, I haven't been working properly.

アルバイトということをしながら

While doing part-time work.

のらりくられて生きているんですけれども

I'm just going through life aimlessly.

同じ職場で

At the same workplace.

そこですごいこう

There, it's amazing like this.

錬金が続いて

Alchemy continues.

本当に要はフリーターみたいな感じで

It's really like being a freeter.

扱われてるから

Because it's being treated.

本当にひどい錬金があって

There was really terrible alchemy.

まあでもしょうがないし

Well, it can't be helped.

まあ働けば働くの

Well, if you work, you work.

まあお金はもらえるし

Well, I can get paid.

まあやることもないし

Well, there's nothing much to do anyway.

いいかってことで

"That's fine then."

まあ働いてたんですよ

Well, I was working.

そしたらその最終日

Then, on that final day.

その錬金もね

That alchemy, you know.

何錬金してたのかな

I wonder what I was alchemizing.

分かんないぐらい

I don't understand that much.

めっちゃ錬金してた最終日に

On the final day, I was doing a lot of alchemy.

あのその自分のいる店舗の

Um, about the store where I am...

別の先輩から

From another senior.

キノピーがやらかしたから

Because Kinopy made a mistake.

なんか今から仕事できないかみたいな

It feels like I can't work right now or something.

今から入れないかってことを言われて

I was asked if I can't come in now.

でめっちゃもう錬金明けで休みだって言ってて

I'm saying that it's finally the end of alchemy and I'm on break.

浮かれてたし

I was feeling giddy.

もう絶対休もうって思ってたんですけど

I was really thinking that I absolutely needed to take a break.

もうそんな連絡を先輩から来ちゃって

I've already received that kind of message from my senior.

でなんか断ることも全然できたのよ

So I was completely able to refuse.

まあその先輩も私がすごい働いてるのも知ってたし

Well, that senior knew that I was working really hard too.

そう断ることもできたんだけど

I could have refused that way, but...

もうキノピーがとかって言われた時点で

At the point where they said "Kinopy" or something,

こううちらのこの職場っていうか

Well, this workplace of ours...

この環境で私とそのキノピーが

In this environment, me and that Kinopy are...

めちゃくちゃ仲いいっていうのが

It's said that we are incredibly close.

もうみんな知ってるから

Everyone already knows.

なんかそんな名前を出されてるからね

Because they're mentioning a name like that.

キノピーが出されたら行くしかないじゃないけど

If Kinopi is put out, there's no choice but to go, right?

まあ私も彼に迷惑かけてることもたくさんあったし

Well, I've also caused him a lot of trouble.

まあ彼のケツを拭くぐらいの感じで

Well, it's like wiping his ass.

先輩にキノピーやらかしたんですねみたいな

It seems like you messed up like Kinopy, senpai.

じゃあ私行きますよって言ったら

Well, when I said "I'm going then,"

先輩もう本当休みなのにごめんねみたいな

I'm really sorry, even though you're on your break, senpai.

疲れてるよねみたいな

It feels like you're tired, doesn't it?

他の他の店長さんからも

From other store managers as well.

ほんとごめんねみたいな

I'm really sorry about that.

もう悪いのはキノピーなのに悪くない人たちが

Even though Kinopee is the one at fault, there are people who are not.

散々こうごめんねとか謝ったりとか

I apologized a lot, saying I'm sorry and such.

感謝とかしてくれて

Thank you for your gratitude.

まあでも仕事ってそういうもんじゃん

Well, that's just how work is, isn't it?

まあ仕事マルバイトだからあれだけどさ

Well, it's just a part-time job, so there's that.

誰かがやらなきゃいけないことを

Something that someone has to do.

おかわりにやったりとか

Doing things like getting a second serving.

嫌なことで重なったりとか

Things piling up that are unpleasant.

それを我慢したりするもんじゃん

That's something you endure.

しょうがないじゃん

It can't be helped.

それは怒っちゃったミスなんだし

That's a mistake that made me angry.

だからもうそこの仕事に関しては

So regarding the work there,

うちの私は何も思ってなくて

My wife doesn't think about anything.

しょうがない

It can't be helped.

疲れたけどしょうがない

I'm tired, but it can't be helped.

行くしかない

We have no choice but to go.

で行って働いて

"Go and work."

翌日

The next day.

翌日続くだから翌々日ぐらいに

The next day will continue, so maybe the day after tomorrow.

なんかそのキノピーから連絡

I received some contact from that Kinopy.

キノピーと連絡を取る機会があったから

I had the opportunity to get in touch with Kinopy.

私さすがにこれは謝られたり

I really shouldn't have to apologize for this.

なんか言われるだろうと思ったら

I thought someone would say something.

何も彼は言わないわけよ

He just doesn't say anything.

なんかまた飲みに行こうとか

Let's go out for drinks again or something.

なんかそんなような

Something like that.

なんかくだらない連絡で

It's a message about something trivial.

いやちょっと待てよって言って

"Wait a minute, hold on."

お前さあって言ってよ

Say it like this, "Hey you."

お前のせいで私のこの

Because of you, my this...

何長い年金の休みが潰れて

What long pension break has been ruined?

みたいな言ったら

If you say something like that...

あ、あれお前が言ってくれたんだ

Oh, you were the one who said that.

みたいな

Like or something like that.

ありがとうねみたいな

It's like saying thank you.

すっごい

Amazing!

すっごい何

What the heck?

この感じであしらわれて

Handled in this manner.

私それに本当に腹立って

I'm really angry about that.

いい?みたいな

Like, is it okay?

悪いけど

I'm sorry, but...

私はあなたのことが好きな女でもないし

I'm not a girl who likes you.

そんな別にその金魚の糞っていうか

It's not really about being like a goldfish's droppings or anything.

腰銀着っていうかさ

It's not just about wearing a waist sash, you know.

っていう算数でもいるわけじゃないし

It's not something that exists even in math, you know.

他の店長とか他の社員さん

Other store managers and other employees.

他の先輩の人とか

Other seniors and people like that.

いろんな人が感謝して謝ってくれたけど

Many people thanked me and apologized, but...

え、あなたそれだけ?みたいな

Huh, is that all you have?

もうねめっちゃキレたの

I'm really, really angry now.

まじで

Seriously.

こんなに人に怒ったことないってくらい

I've never been this angry at someone before.

それなりにすごい関係も長かったから

It was a pretty amazing relationship that lasted a long time.

いやこの態度は本当に許せないと思って

I really think this attitude is unacceptable.

結構な長文のLINEを送ったわけよ

I sent a fairly long message on LINE.

でその6月にそれ怒ってて

So I was angry about that in June.

7月だった前にさ

It was before July.

あの四国行った話したじゃん

I told you about my trip to Shikoku, didn't I?

前回この話の前回ね

Last time, I talked about this story before.

その四国旅行一緒に行く予定だったの?

Were you supposed to go on that Shikoku trip together?

だけどもうそんなことされたから

But I've already been subjected to that.

私が言ったわけよ

That's what I said.

もうこの状態でそんなちゃんと

At this stage, I can't properly...

何人間としてじゃないけど

It's not like I'm human, but...

できない人とは旅行も行きたくないし

I don't even want to travel with someone who can't do things.

一緒にいたくないよ

I don't want to be together.

本当付き合い方考えるよっていうような

It’s like saying I’ll really think about how to interact.

結構きつめの長文のLINEを入れたの

I sent a pretty intense long message on LINE.

そしたらもうありがとうございます

Then, thank you very much.

一言しか返ってこなくて

It only came back with a single word.

もうそれも意味わかんなくて

I don't understand that anymore either.

普通なんかさ本当に思ってんなら

If you really mean it, then...

電話してきたりさ

Risa, give me a call.

もうちょっとこう

A little more like this.

重ためのっていうか

It's more on the heavy side, to put it that way.

ちゃんとしたこう連絡を返してくれてもいいじゃん

It would be nice if you could properly respond to this message.

それもなくありがとうございましたみたいな

Thank you for that as well, or something like that.

一言一行で返ってきても

Even if it comes back in a word or a line,

そこでもうチップチンって

So then, "chip chin"

もう絶対こいつと

I will definitely never be with this guy again.

絶対こいつと関わるのやめようと思って

I definitely thought I should stop getting involved with this guy.

本当に縁切ったの

I really cut ties.

縁切ったっていうか

It's not so much that we cut ties.

別にブロックしたとかじゃないけども

It's not that I blocked you or anything, but...

必要以上に連絡も取らんし

I won't contact you more than necessary.

もうこいつ

This guy again.

もう私が期待したっていうか

It's more like I've already expected it.

私がなんか悪

I did something bad.

逆に私が悪かったなと思ってもいいやと思って

On the contrary, I think it's okay if I feel that I was wrong.

こう人として

As a person like this.

切ったわけよ

I cut it.

なんだけど

But...

四国に行く旅行がの話が結構進んでたから

The plans for the trip to Shikoku were progressing quite well.

飛行機代とかを払ってて

I'm paying for things like the plane ticket.

私が

Me.

私が全部やってて

I'm doing everything.

手配も全部したわけよ

I took care of all the arrangements.

あいつが行きたいって言うから

Because he said he wants to go.

付き合ってあげたのに

I went out with you even though I didn't have to.

全部私が

It's all me.

もうやばいわ

It's already bad.

悪口とも言わないくらい

So much that it can't even be called a badmouthing.

とにかく全部やってて

Anyway, do everything.

飛行機代とかも

Also the airfare.

キャンセルしようと思ったけど

I thought about canceling, but...

LCC格安航空で行ったから

Because I went by a low-cost carrier.

キャンセルできないから

Because it can't be canceled.

言ったわけよキノピーに

I told Kinopi.

もう本当にじゃあ

Well then, really...

もうちょっと旅行行けない

I can't go on a trip for a little while longer.

行きたくないんでって

I don’t want to go.

飛行機代いくら

How much is the airfare?

いくらか振り込んでくださいと

Please transfer a certain amount.

もう会う気もないから

I don't feel like meeting anymore.

振り込み先送って

Please send me the bank transfer details.

LINEとかに連絡したのよ

I contacted you via LINE and such.

いついつまでに振り込んでくださいって

Please transfer the money by (insert date here).

送ったんだけど

I sent it, but...

結局その期限までにも振り込まれなくて

In the end, it wasn't deposited even by the deadline.

マジで腹立つなと思って

I seriously think it's frustrating.

そしたら7月入ったら

Then when July comes.

7月入って旅行の直前か

Is it right before the trip in July?

旅行のほんとね

It's really travel.

1週間前だかね

It was about a week ago.

3日4日前くらいに振り込みました

I made the transfer about 3 to 4 days ago.

みたいな連絡が来たんだけど

I received a message like that.

その連絡も

That contact too.

マジ希少くて

Seriously rare.

いついつに

At such and such a time.

いついつにじゃないや

It's not "when when."

どこどこでいくら分奢ったので

"I treated you to this much at this place."

それを差し引いた額振り込みました

I have deposited the amount after deducting that.

って来たわけよ

That's how it came about.

マジで信じられんと思って

I really can't believe it.

確かにあったそういうことは

Indeed, such things did happen.

本当に記憶から消し去ってくる

I will really erase it from my memory.

そういうのがあったら

If there was something like that.

本当に怒られることも多かったし

I really got scolded a lot.

怒られることもあったけど

There were times I got scolded, but...

基本的には彼から私に怒られることの方が

Basically, it's more likely for me to get scolded by him.

多かったから

Because there were many.

そこはもう何とも言えないところではあるの

That's a place that I can't really describe.

正直

Honestly

しかもお酒も飲んで

Moreover, I was drinking alcohol too.

いくらかも分かんないし

I don't know how much it is.

そういう機会も多かったからさ

Because there were many opportunities like that.

怒った怒られた論争をそこで出してくるか

Are you bringing up the issue of anger and being angry there?

みたいな

Like that.

その飛行機代から差し引いてみたいな

"I'd like to deduct that from the cost of the flight."

いくら振り込みもして

No matter how much I transfer.

マジでやってられんと思って

I seriously can't handle this.

去ろうって思ったわけよ

I was thinking about leaving.

なんだけど

Even so,

そこで私もう

So, I...

自分でもびっくりしたんだけど

I was surprised myself.

めちゃめちゃ泣いて

Crying a lot.

そう

Yes.

めちゃくちゃ泣いたの

I cried a lot.

もう最近

Lately,

彼氏と別れた時より泣いた

I cried more than when I broke up with my boyfriend.

マジで

Seriously?

超泣いて

Super crying

なんでか分かんないけど

I don't know why, but...

もうほんと涙止まんなくて

I just can’t stop crying.

悔しかったのかな

I wonder if they were regrettable.

私が期待しすぎてたのか分かんないけど

I don't know if I was expecting too much, but...

超涙止まんなくて

I can't stop crying.

なんか仲いい友達とか

Like close friends or something.

ヒロピーを知る人とか

People who know Hiropee.

共通の友達とかにもう

It's already with mutual friends and others.

もうなんか泣きながら電話して

"I'm already crying while I'm on the phone."

こういうことがあってこういうことがあって

Things like this happen, and then things like this happen.

もうこんなことされて

I've been done like this.

こんなこと言われたりみたいな

Like being told something like this.

なんかちょっと5年付き合って

It's been about 5 years of dating.

こんなことあるみたいな

It seems like something like this can happen.

今までなんだったんみたいな

What has it all been until now?

もうほんと仲良かったし

We were really close.

多分一生付き合っていくつもりで

I plan to be with you for a lifetime.

友達やってたのに

Even though we were friends.

どういうことなんみたいな

What do you mean by that?

なんなんとか言いながらもうボロボロ

While saying something like "what's going on," I'm already falling apart.

もうおえつ並みで

I'm already at the point of vomiting.

何のさ涙を流しながら電話したわけよ

"Why did you call while shedding tears?"

そこでね

So, then...

あの失って気づく何かとか

Something that you realize when you lose it.

そういう綺麗な話じゃないんだけど

It's not such a beautiful story, though.

私はよっぽど

I really must.

キノピーのことを多分信頼してたん

I probably trusted Kinopi.

し

"Shi"

すごく自分の中ですごく大切な存在 だったと思うね

I think it was a really important presence for me.

だからそれに対する裏切られた っていうのもあるし

So there's also the feeling of being betrayed by that.

なんだろうな

I wonder what it is.

期待

Expectation

なんか私にはそんなことしないだろうな

I don't think you would do something like that to me.

みたいなのもあったわけよ

There was something like that, you know.

その結構人間的にぶっ飛んでる

That's quite human-like and outrageous.

ぶっ壊れてるところがある人でも

Even if there are parts that are broken in a person

さっき言ったお酒の話もそうだけど

Just like I mentioned earlier about alcohol...

ちょっと欠けてるところもあるから

There are also some areas that are a bit chipped.

ましないこともないだろうな

It wouldn't be impossible, I suppose.

みたいなのはあったけど

There was something like that, but...

でももううちらの関係性的に

But given our relationship now...

親しき中にも礼儀あり的なのを

There is decorum even among close friends.

もう彼も4個上の年ですよ

He is already four years older now.

もう今年で29になる年で

This year I will turn 29.

それをされなかった私が彼に対して

What I did not do to him.

なんて言えばいいのかな

I wonder what I should say.

わかるかなこの気持ち

Do you understand this feeling?

とにかくこう信用すごく信用して

Anyway, I really trust you.

すごく大事にしてた人にされるには

To be treated that way by someone I cherished very much.

心が病んだっていうお話なんですけど

It's a story about a troubled heart.

そうそんなことがあったんですよ

Yes, that kind of thing happened.

でこれ結構自分の中でかくて

Well, this is quite a lot for me.

ほんと今でも

Really, even now.

思い出すぐらい引きずってて

I'm still feeling dragged down by the memories.

夢にも出てきたりするぐらい引きずってて

It's the kind of thing that lingers so much it's even appearing in my dreams.

そうでまあポッドキャストっていうか

Well, it's more like a podcast.

この番組でこの話に触れようかなって

I was thinking of touching on this topic in this program.

思ってたんだけど

I was thinking that...

なんか自分なんかまた喋ってて泣いたら

If I end up talking again and then crying...

どうしようとか思っててできなかったから

Because I was thinking about what to do and couldn't do it.

もう時間経ったし

It's been a while now.

ようやく言えるなってことで

I can finally say it.

今話したんですけど

I just talked about it.

こんなことがございました

There was such a thing.

このあーの

This is an "Ah".

あのなんだ何を言いたいかっていうと

What I'm trying to say is...

大人になってから友達を失うことってあるんだ

It's possible to lose friends after becoming an adult.

ねっていうことが言いたいのかな

I wonder if that’s what you want to say.

私はあまり友達

I don't have many friends.

できないじゃん大人になったら

You can't do it once you become an adult.

これも言った気がするな

I feel like I said this too.

どっかの会で

At some meeting.

会いたい人には会いに行けの回かな

Is this the episode where we go meet the people we want to see?

いった気がするけど

I feel like I've been there.

もうこの二十歳とかを超えるとさ

Once you surpass the age of twenty, you know...

だが大学とか学生時代をしたら終了してるし

However, it's over once you've gone through university or student life.

若干だから社会自体がね

It's just that society itself is like that.

終了すると友達ってほんとできなくなる

When it ends, you really can't make friends anymore.

その分失う人も

There are also people who will lose out because of that.

失うっていうか

It's not so much about losing...

連絡が途絶えていく人はいると思うけど

I think there are people whose contact gradually fades away.

喧嘩するとか揉めるとかってないじゃん

There's no fighting or arguing, right?

私はどちらかというと

I tend to be more of a...

結構活発な方だからさ

They're quite an active person.

いろんなところで友達作ったり

Making friends in various places.

一人で旅行行って

I'm going to travel alone.

旅行先の人と仲良くなったりとか

Making friends with people at my travel destination.

そういう意味では友達を増やしたり

In that sense, making more friends...

知り合いを増やすことはすごく得意なんだけど

I'm very good at making new acquaintances, but...

こんな形で友達がいなくなったり

In this way, friends disappear.

人と縁が切れること

Cutting ties with people.

自分から切ったってのあるけど

There are times when I've been the one to cut things off.

みたいなことが

Things like that.

今までなかったから

Because it has never existed before.

それもすごいショックというか

That's also really shocking, or rather...

こんな

Such a thing

こんな感じか

Is this how it is?

っていう

That is to say.

感じなんですよ

It's a feeling, you know.

何言いたいのか

What do you want to say?

わかんなくなってきたな

I'm starting to not understand.

友達を

Friend

大人になって失うと

When you become an adult, you lose...

こんなにショックなんだって

I'm so shocked.

話

Story

でちょっと話戻るんだけど

But I want to go back to the conversation for a moment.

7月の旅行ね

It's about the trip in July.

旅行に何で行くかって話になったかって言うと

The reason we were talking about what to use for travel is...

キノピーが6月末に仕事を辞める

Kinopy will quit his job at the end of June.

つって

I'm telling you.

で7月から2位とっつうか

Starting in July, I've taken second place, or rather.

まあ時間ができるから

Well, I’ll have some time.

で7月私誕生日だったし

Well, my birthday was in July.

なんか旅行行こうかって感じで決まったわけよ

It was decided that we should go on a trip for some reason.

キノピーは仕事を多分してないのね

Kinopee is probably not working, huh?

で6月の末に仕事辞めてどうすんの

So what are you going to do after quitting your job at the end of June?

って話をしたら

When I talked about that...

まあ別に貯金はとりあえずあるから

Well, I have some savings for now anyway.

適当に就活とかしつつみたいな

"Something like casually doing job hunting and such."

でもなんか海外行こうかなみたいなことを言ってて

But I was kind of saying that I might go abroad.

チラッと

Glance or briefly.

なんかベトナムだかタイだかわかんないけど

I don't really know if it's Vietnam or Thailand, but...

なんかそのアジアに行こうかなみたいなことを言ってて

I was saying something like maybe I should go to Asia.

いいんじゃないみたいな話をしたわけよ

I had a conversation that went something like, "Isn't that okay?"

でまあそんなことがあって

So, with things like that happening...

延期って友達辞めて

"I'm ending our friendship because of the postponement."

でしばらくした時に

And after a while,

今のそのさっき言った

What you just said now.

あの働いてたお店の先輩

The senior colleague from the shop where I used to work.

あの仕事私に出てくれてるんですけどね

That job is being offered to me, you know.

出てくれないかって言って先輩が

The senior said, "Could you please come out?"

なんかキノピー今タイいるらしいよみたいな

It seems that Kinopi is currently in Thailand or something like that.

言ってて

Say it.

あいつはタイに行ったのかと思って

I thought that guy went to Thailand.

しかもなんか聞いた話だと

Moreover, I've heard something.

なんかその

Well, um...

もう日本に帰ってきてるのかもしれないけど

You might already be back in Japan.

なんかしばらく海外にいるみたいな

It feels like I’ll be overseas for a while.

ようなことも言ってて

Saying things like that too.

今もしかしたらタイいるかもしれなくて

I might be in Thailand right now.

わかんないんだけど

I don't know.

って言ってたから

Because they said so.

じゃあうちもタイに行ったら

Well then, if we also go to Thailand.

キノピーに会えるかなと思って

I was wondering if I would be able to meet Kinopy.

来たんですよタイに

I came to Thailand.

タイだったらさ

If it’s Thailand, then...

仲直りできるかなって思って

I was wondering if we could make up.

別に仲直りしたいわけじゃないんだけど

It's not that I particularly want to make up.

なんかどうやら自分はね

It seems like I'm somehow...

すごくこうダメージを受けたみたいで

It seems like I've taken a lot of damage.

友達を失ったことに対して

Regarding losing a friend.

時間も経ったし

Time has passed.

タイだし

It's Thai.

ワンチャン行けるかなと思って

I thought there might be a chance I could make it.

タイに着いたら連絡しようって思ってね

I thought I would contact you when I arrived in Thailand.

タイにいますみたいな

It feels like I'm in Thailand.

どこですかみたいな感じで

It feels like, "Where is it?"

連絡しようって思ってたの

I was thinking of getting in touch.

なんかおもろいやん

That's kind of funny, isn't it?

今どこいんのタイって言われてさ

"Someone asked me where I am in Thailand right now."

タイかーみたいな

It’s like Thailand, right?

自分日本だしみたいなさ

It's like I'm in Japan.

感じよりかはさ

It's more about the feeling than the sensation.

今タイいるんだよね

I'm in Thailand right now.

私もタイみたいな

I want to be like Thailand too.

今から飲もうぜみたいなのがやりたくて

I wanted to do something like "Let's drink now!"

あの

Um...

連絡したんです

I contacted you.

LINEをしたんですよ

I sent a message on LINE.

今どこいるのって

"Where are you now?"

昨日タイ着いたから

I arrived in Thailand yesterday.

昨日の

Yesterday's

いつだ

When is it?

昼ぐらいかな

I think it's around noon.

連絡をしたら

When I contacted you,

なんと

What a surprise!

なんとですよ

What a surprise!

相変わらず既読無視をされまして

As usual, I've been left on read.

仲直りできずというか

It's not that we can't make up.

結局タイにいる可能性はちょっと低いんだけど

In the end, the possibility of being in Thailand is a bit low.

そう

Yes.

結構こう勇気を振り絞って

I really had to muster up some courage.

自分から散々ブチ切れて

"Getting really upset on my own."

いろいろ送ったんだけど

I sent various things.

やっぱどうしても仲直りというか

After all, I can't help but want to make up.

やっぱどうしても楽しい思い出の方が多いから

After all, I have more fun memories than anything else.

どうにかうまくやりたいなと思って

I want to find a way to manage it well.

タイを口実にLINEしたのに

I used Thailand as an excuse to message you on LINE.

もちろんこっちがタイにいることは言ってないのよ

Of course, I haven't mentioned that I'm in Thailand.

どこにいるのぐらいにしか言ってないから

I only said something like "Where are you?"

あれなんだけど

It's about that...

ちゃんと既読無視されて

"I was properly ignored after being read."

またちょっと萎えてるっていう感じですね

It feels like I'm a bit deflated again.

なんでタイに行った理由は

Why did you go to Thailand?

キノピーに会いに来た

I came to see Kinopi.

いるのか知らないけど

I don't know if you're there or not.

っていうのが今回の第20話

That's what this time's episode 20 is about.

記念すべき第20話です

This is the commemorative 20th episode.

20話の結論でございます

This is the conclusion of episode 20.

20話か早いな

Episode 20 already, huh?

当初週2ぐらいで

Initially about twice a week.

ポッドキャスト上げる予定が

I plan to upload a podcast.

全然上げられてないけど

I haven't raised it at all.

そういう感じですね

It feels like that.

タイはですね

Thailand is...

タイの話は一回しなくて

Let's not talk about Thailand this time.

まああの1週間

Well, that week...

来週の月曜日まで

Until next Monday.

今日は今日何日

What date is it today?

8月14日の月曜日ですね

It's Monday, August 14th.

ここから来週の21日までいるので

I will be here until the 21st of next week.

またその後ぐらいに

Around that time afterward.

タイの話をあげようかな

Shall I bring up a story about Thailand?

とりあえずキノピーの話は

For now, let's talk about Kinopy.

こんな感じです

It's like this.

もしこのポッドキャストを聞いてる

If you are listening to this podcast.

キノピーのことを知ってる人

People who know about Kinoppy.

多分いると思うのよ

I think there might be someone.

結構こういう関係広いし

Such relationships are quite broad.

キョツの友達多いから

Because Kyotsu has many friends.

キノピーにね

To Kinopy.

もし連絡する機会があったら

If there is an opportunity to get in touch.

あのポンが

That pon.

っていう風に

In that way.

ポンが…くらいのことを言ってくれたら

If you could say something like "Pon"...

何か変わるかもしれません

Something might change.

よろしくお願いします

Thank you in advance.

てなわけで

So, that's how it is.

えー本日は

Well, today...

終わりでいいかな

Is it alright if we end it?

そう前回ねすごい

Yeah, last time was amazing.

時間なくて適当に終わっちゃったから

I ran out of time and finished it haphazardly.

今回はちゃんと終わろうと思って

This time, I think I'll properly finish it.

本日も

Today as well

本日も違うな

It's different today too.

今回もご視聴いただき

Thank you for watching this time as well.

ありがとうございました

Thank you very much.

バイバイ

Bye-bye