#4 独りと一人~愛は代替不可能では

何ですか

What is it?

メイビーの格好が

Maybe's outfit.

闇配信者みたいな

Like a dark streamer.

黒いスイードを

Black suede

かぶっている

I'm wearing it.

ちょっと怪しい

A little suspicious.

どうする

What will you do?

いやちょっと

No, wait a minute.

皆様に

To everyone

視覚的な情報を

Visual information

お伝えすると

To convey.

黒いバスローブに車って

A black bathrobe and a car.

配信

Distribution

フード付きで配信しているので

Since it is being distributed with a hood,

闇配信者みたいな感じなんですけど

It feels like I'm a dark broadcaster.

本当に

Really.

今季節は秋の終わりでして

The current season is the end of autumn.

オーストラリア

Australia

寒いんです家が

It's cold at home.

この前リールで

The other day on the reel.

見たんだけど

I saw it, but...

オーストラリアの家って

What is an Australian house like?

マジで壁が薄くて

The walls are really thin.

耐熱もできない

Cannot withstand heat.

寒さも

Even the cold...

かわせない

I can't avoid it.

本当に草みたいな

It really looks like grass.

家がいっぱいあるらしくて

It seems that there are a lot of houses.

WHO

WHO

認定受けてるんです

I am certified.

マジオーストラリアの家は

Seriously, Australia’s houses are...

草寒いって

It's cold and chilly.

WHOの基準に

According to WHO standards

満たされてないんだって

I’m saying I’m not fulfilled.

室内の温度みたいな

Like the temperature indoors.

本当は12度以上か

Is it really over 12 degrees?

あれらしくて基準が

It looks like that, and it serves as a standard.

それが

That is.

有効的な

Effective

ふさわしい家の

A suitable home.

あったかさみたいな

Like warmth.

それを下回ってるんです

It's below that.

オーストラリアの家たちは

Houses in Australia

ほとんど

Almost

大丈夫なんですか

Are you okay?

有効的な晴れ

Effective sunshine

大丈夫

It's okay.

良くない

Not good.

私今度バスロープで寝てるんだよ

I'm sleeping on the bus ramp this time.

一緒に

Together

バスロープとブランケット2つ

Two bath mats and a blanket.

で

So, then.

電気毛布も無し

No electric blanket either.

暖房も無しで寝てる

I'm sleeping without any heating.

去年どうしてたの

What were you doing last year?

去年は

Last year

あの

Um...

前のルーネットがね

The previous runet was...

電気毛布貸してくれたのよ

They lent me an electric blanket.

だから食べてたんだけど

So I was eating it.

私も帰国直前で

I am also just before returning to my home country.

電気毛布買うか渋ってて

I'm hesitating to buy an electric blanket.

しかもシャワーがめっちゃぬるいの

Moreover, the shower is really lukewarm.

ぬるいし

It's lukewarm.

水圧弱いし

The water pressure is weak.

ちょっともう私この湯出たい

I want to get out of this hot water now.

いいことないんだけど

There's nothing good happening.

いろんなことがありました

There have been various things that happened.

私たち4ヶ月ぶりの配信となっております

This is our first broadcast in four months.

はい

Yes

お久しぶり

Long time no see.

お久しぶりです

It's been a while.

まあ本題に

Well, onto the main topic.

あ、本題というか

Ah, speaking of the main topic...

あの私のポッドキャスト説明からいきますね

I'll start with the description of my podcast.

はい

Yes

えー

Ehh?

このポッドキャストでは

In this podcast,

私たちが普段話しているような

Like the way we usually talk.

自然体の会話を繰り広げています

We are having a natural conversation.

人間関係の悩みを話していたら

While I was talking about my troubles in relationships...

深い哲学対話にたどり着いたり

Arriving at deep philosophical dialogue.

個人的な話がいつの間にか

Before I knew it, personal stories...

社会を動かすビッグな話に発展したりしたり

It developed into a big story that moves society.

皆さんも共感できるトピックが

A topic that everyone can relate to.

盛りだくさんでございます

It's packed full.

えー

Uh...

街中のカフェでたまたま

By chance at a café in the city.

隣に座ってあげるたちの会話を盗み聞きするような感覚で

It's like eavesdropping on the conversation of those sitting next to me.

聞いてみてください

Please try asking.

えーご意見やご感想

Any opinions or feedback?

ご感想

Your feedback.

丁寧に言います

I will say it politely.

ご感想があれば

If you have any feedback.

インスタグラムの方に連絡お願いします

Please contact me on Instagram.

インスタグラムのIDは

The Instagram ID is

neighborunderbargalsでございます

This is neighbor under bargirls.

ぜひフォローもよろしくお願いいたします

Please make sure to follow me as well.

前回の収録が2月で

The last recording was in February.

今撮ってんのが6月だから

It’s currently June.

収録としては4ヶ月だったってことよね

So it means it was four months for the recording, right?

うーん

Hmm.

あっては

"Should be"

そういう間だし

It's that kind of situation.

撮ってなかったんだっていう

I didn't take it.

本当に申し訳ないんですけど

I'm truly sorry, but...

なんかあったわけじゃないです

It's not like anything happened.

みんななんか喧嘩してたわけでもないし

It’s not like everyone was having some kind of fight.

あやつ

That person.

言い訳みたい

It sounds like an excuse.

言い訳

Excuse.

皆さん違いますよ

Everyone is different.

なんか怖い

It's kind of scary.

でもなんかさ

But somehow...

4ヶ月さ話してなかったらさ

It's been four months since we talked.

結構こうお互い

Quite mutually.

自分のさ考えてることとかをさ

What I'm thinking about.

こう共有してなかったわけだよ

That's why we hadn't shared it like this.

うん

Yeah.

だから結構なんか

So, it's quite something.

各々考えることとかは

Each person has their own thoughts and considerations.

なんかいろいろ

Something various.

溜め込んでるものがあるみたいな

It seems like there's something you've been holding in.

溜め込んでる

I'm holding it in.

マジで

Seriously.

あと2ヶ月で帰国なんですけど

I will be returning to my country in two months.

今マジ自分何してんだろうって

I seriously wonder what I'm doing right now.

葛藤がね

There's a conflict, you know.

上がり下がりがすごいあったよ

There were a lot of ups and downs.

その期間に

During that period.

友達があいなにしたとか

My friend said something about Aina.

そういうのを見ちゃうと

When I see something like that,

なんか自分が今やってることと

It's like what I'm doing right now.

比べちゃうとかよくあると思うんですけど

I think it's common to compare things.

あーね

I see.

特にこう春なんて

Especially in spring like this.

就職とかしてるからさ

Because I'm doing things like getting a job.

なんか

Something.

あーすごいもう

Ah, amazing already!

そういうのが

That kind of thing.

先売ってるんだなって感じもするし

It feels like they're selling it in advance.

確かに

Certainly.

就職したことは

Regarding getting a job.

先に言ってることではないと思うから

I don't think it's something I've mentioned before.

大事な切り口

Important perspective

わからないけど

I don't know, but...

でもそもそも学年以降違うからね

But the thing is, we are in different grades anyway.

っていうのもあるし

There is also that.

それはそう

That's true.

なんか大地とは

What is it about the earth?

学年以降違うっていうのもあるし

There are also differences in grade levels.

逆に日本にずっといて

On the contrary, staying in Japan all the time.

留学に行ってる人っていうのは

People who are studying abroad are

それだけで

Just that.

何かを成し遂げているように

As if achieving something.

見えてしまうというか

It's more like I can see it.

あー

Ah-

なんか

Somehow

本人は

The person in question.

その留学行くことが目的じゃなかったら

If the purpose wasn't to go study abroad.

自分のやりたいことができてないとか

Not being able to do what I want to do.

周りと比べてって思うのかもしれないけど

You might be thinking that compared to others around you.

逆に

Conversely

なんか去年の今頃は就活してたけど

I was job hunting around this time last year, but...

就活したけの私ってって思ってたし

I was thinking that I was the kind of person who would do job hunting.

レールに乗せてそのままやってる人よりも

More than those who just go along on the rails.

なんか就職以外の道を見て

Looking at paths other than employment.

今を行ってる人の方が

Those who are living in the present are more...

進んでるって思ってたから

I thought I was making progress.

おー

Oh!

俯瞰してみたら

Looking from above.

多分どっちも進んでるんじゃないのって思う

I think maybe both are progressing.

うんうんうん

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

いやー

Well...

本当に

Really.

僕がこう思ったのは

The reason I thought this is...

まあ

Well...

もちろん時間は進んでるけど

Of course, time is moving on, but...

なんか小春年もはじきって思ったのは

I thought that somehow the year of Koharu has started.

自分にないものを知ってる人っていうかさ

It's like someone who knows what I lack.

今自分がこう

Right now, I'm like this.

歩いてないとこ歩いてる人を見ると

When I see people walking in places I haven't walked.

やっぱ人間こう隣の芝生は青く見える

As expected, people tend to see the grass next door as greener.

青いねー

It's blue, isn't it?

まあ青いかどうかは分かんないけど

Well, I don't know if it's blue or not.

そのちょっとなんか

That little something.

自分とは違うことを知ってるってことで

It means knowing that you are different from others.

気になって

I'm curious.

二人だなって

It's just the two of us.

めっちゃ分かる

I totally get it.

いやマジで分かる

Yeah, I really understand.

なんか

Somehow

いろいろ自分も比較とかすごいしちゃうけど

I also tend to compare myself to others a lot.

他の人たちって

What about other people?

違うレールを歩いてるっていう事実も

The fact that we are walking on different tracks.

ちゃんと分かんなきゃいけないし

You need to properly understand it.

他の人が一歩先に行ってるなとか

I feel like others are one step ahead.

いろいろ思っちゃうけど

I can't help but think about various things.

結局

After all

人生は

Life is

あれなんですよ

It's that, you see.

あの

Um...

何を言ってたんだっけ

What was I saying?

ダメじゃん

That's not good.

みなさん今めっちゃ何のとこ

Everyone, what are you all doing right now?

やりあいのやっぱコフェとかタイムコフェ

It's about the confrontation and of course the coffee or time coffee.

いいとこで?

Is it a good place?

CMみたいな

Like a commercial.

違いますよ

That's not correct.

違う違う

No, no.

でもね

But you know,

ナムジュンだっけ

Is it Namjoon?

なんか言ってたんです彼が

He was saying something.

人生は

Life is

ごめんごめん

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

バイクうるさい

The motorcycle is loud.

ナムジュンが言ってたんです

Namjoon said so.

人生は

Life is

速度じゃなくて方向だと

It's not about speed, it's about direction.

ほうほう

I see.

うん

Yeah.

多分ナムジュンだった

It was probably Namjoon.

これちょっと参考文献後に出します

I'll provide the references for this shortly.

あの

Um...

そう

Yes.

なんかその一言結構なんか

That one word is quite something.

心に刺さってて

It pierces my heart.

なんかすごい速度で比べちゃうじゃん

It's like you compare things at an amazing speed.

あっちの方が

Over there.

50キロ出してるとこっちに30キロしか出してないみたいな

When you're going 50 km/h, it feels like I'm only going 30 km/h over here.

でも結局方向が違うから

But in the end, the direction is different.

それは意味ないなって思って

I thought it didn't make sense.

うん

Yeah.

そう

Yes.

向いてる方向違う人と比べようもないし

There's no way to compare with someone whose direction is different from yours.

向いてる方向が同じように見えてても

Even if it looks like we're facing the same direction.

まあ違うんだよな

Well, that's not quite right.

けど比較したのはわかります

But I understand that you compared them.

とても

Very

推しの名言繋がりで言うと

Speaking of connections with my favorite's famous quotes...

どうぞ

Please.

ではあの嵐の王のサトシが一番好きだった?

So, was Satoshi, the king of the storm, your favorite?

今いないから

Because (they) are not here right now.

おお

Oh!

彼が言ってた言葉が

The words he said

なんかデビューしてから数年間嵐はあんまり売れなくて

For some reason, Arashi didn't sell very much for a few years after their debut.

デビュー10年くらいで多分やっとデモックを集めたんだけど

It's probably around the 10-year mark since my debut that I finally gathered the demos.

その売れなかった時期にメンバー5人とかで話し合いをしてて

During that period when we weren't selling well, the five of us members were having discussions.

桜井くんとか松潤とかはなんかもう

Sakurai-kun and Matsujun, for some reason...

簡単に目を向けた方がいいか

It might be better to take a quick look.

なんかもっと大きくさないと意味がないんじゃないかとか

Isn't it meaningless unless it becomes something bigger?

そういうことを言ってたみたいなんだけど

It seems like they were saying something like that.

なんかその時に大野くんが

At that time, Ohno-kun was...

今目の前にあることをできない奴が

Someone who can't do what's right in front of them.

何を頑張れるんだみたいなことを言ったもん

I said something like, "What can you really strive for?"

でなんかすごいそれ当時も

And that was really amazing back then too.

ああいい言葉だなって思ったんだけど

I thought it was a nice word.

なんか歳を重ねるにつれてすごい響くようになって

It seems to resonate a lot more as I get older.

っていうのもすごい周りと比較したりとか

That's because I tend to compare myself to others a lot.

あと私ってすごい今現在を見るのが苦手で

Also, I'm really not good at seeing the present right now.

でもなんだ就職中も4月来年の4月

But still, it's about finding a job, next April, next year.

どんなとこにいるのかなって思ってたんだけど

I was wondering what kind of place you were in.

前年もさっき言ってたけど

I mentioned it earlier last year too.

僕たちの後輩がもう

Our junior has already...

大野くんの後輩に入社してどういう仕事をしてたいみたいなことばっかり考えて

I keep thinking about what kind of work I want to do after joining as Ohno-kun's junior.

もちろん考えるのが大切なんだけど

Of course, thinking is important, but...

結局今やることが時間を割けなくなっちゃうのよ

In the end, I can't find time to do what I need to do now.

良くないなって思って

I think it's not good.

どうせ未来なんて今の延長線上でしかないし

After all, the future is just an extension of the present.

考えたって仕方のない部分が結構多いから

There are quite a few things that are futile to think about.

でも一番大事なのは今をやりきる力なんだなって思ってからは

But I think the most important thing is the ability to fully engage in the present moment.

すごい意識するようにしてて

I'm trying to be really conscious of it.

で今を見れば

Looking at the present...

そんなに周りとの比較も

Not so much in comparison with others.

しないようになる気がするというか

I feel like I won't be able to do it.

うん

Yeah.

だって現状がもうそれぞれ違うからさ

Because the current situation is already different for each of us.

それ

That.

それを人のところを羨んだところで

Even if you envy others for that.

今自分にできることって

What I can do right now is...

あんまりなかったりするじゃん

There isn't much of that, right?

まさしく

Indeed.

だから人のなんかこう

So, something about people...

どこに自分の意識を持っていくかみたいなのって

It's about where to direct your consciousness.

大事だなって

I think it's important.

もうマジで

Seriously now.

めっちゃ痛感してる

I feel it very strongly.

なんか僕もこの流れで

I feel like I'm going with this flow too.

そう尊敬してる人の言葉を

Words of someone you truly respect.

引用するべきだと思うんだけど

I think it should be quoted.

素晴らしいです

It's wonderful.

なんか僕はどうか

I wonder how I am.

あんまりこう

Not very much like this.

今パッと思いつかないからあれだけど

I can't think of anything right now, but...

今聞いて思ったのは

What I just thought about while listening is...

言葉で言うってあるじゃん

There's a saying that goes, "To put it in words."

今小春が言ってるみたいに

Just like Koharu is saying now.

この先どうしたいかって言葉で言ったり

"Whether I want to say in words what I want to do from here on."

考えたりするって言うけど

You say you think about it, but...

こっち来て

Come here.

考えたりするのは

Thinking about it

結局はなんか行動で示さないと

In the end, you have to show it through your actions.

意味がないんじゃないかっていうことは

Isn't it that it doesn't have any meaning?

そう思って

I think so.

例えばいつまでに

For example, by when?

このレポート書きますって言ってもさ

Even if I say I'll write this report...

期限までにレポートができてないと

If the report is not completed by the deadline...

意味ない

It has no meaning.

どんなにいいレポートを書きたいですって言ってもさ

No matter how much I say I want to write a good report,

実際にいいレポートが書けてないと意味ないじゃん

If you can't actually write a good report, then it doesn't mean anything.

そう

Yes.

一般的にはさ

Generally speaking, you know.

いいレポートを書くよりも

Rather than writing a good report

いいレポートを書くために

To write a good report

努力したことが大事だっていう

What's important is the effort you put in.

結果より過程と

"Process over results."

過程が大事だって言うと

When you say that the process is important...

っていう人もいるじゃん

Some people say that, right?

でもいい過程ができたら

But if a good process can be established...

いい結果が出るじゃん

You're getting good results!

でもなんか

But somehow...

その逆算がすごい

That reverse calculation is amazing.

逆算するって

It means "To calculate backwards."

このいい結果を出すために

In order to achieve this good result

何が必要でっていう

What is needed?

逆算みたいなことをさ

It's like doing reverse calculations.

逆算が大事だって

They say that reverse calculations are important.

前すごい尊敬してるというか

I used to really admire you.

ように言われたことがあって

I have been told to do so.

その人曰く

According to that person

なんで結果が出ないのかが

Why the results aren't coming out.

意味がわからないって

I don't understand the meaning.

よく言う人で

A person who often speaks.

なんかそれは

That's something.

決してこう

Never like this.

才能とかじゃなくて

It's not about talent or anything.

正しい努力ができて

Able to make the right effort.

で

So, then.

まあその計算というかさ

Well, I mean that calculation, or rather...

その結果を出すために

In order to achieve that result

何が必要でってことを

What is necessary?

努力を怠らずに

Without neglecting effort.

細かく詰めていけば

If you pack it tightly.

結果が出るっていうことを

The fact that results will come out.

言われてるんだな

They say that, don't they?

とか思って

I was thinking that.

でも

But

一体にはその行動を実際に

"To actually carry out that action."

打つのが

To hit.

すごい大変なことじゃん

That's really a tough situation.

人間こうさ

Human discussion.

明日から勉強頑張るって

I will do my best to study starting tomorrow.

よく小学生の時とか

When I was in elementary school, often...

言ってたけどさ

I was saying, you know.

僕らとか

Us or something like that.

もうなんか

"Well, somehow..."

モチベーションが低くなって

My motivation has decreased.

だし

Dashi

結果というか

It's more like the result...

行動をつけてないからさ

Because I haven't taken action.

でも

But

大抵の人って

Most people tend to...

みんなそうだと思うわけ

I think everyone feels that way.

明日からやろう

I'll start it tomorrow.

そっから今からさ

Starting from there, from now on.

何が必要かを考えて

Think about what is needed.

行動を打ってるって

"I'm taking action."

実際にこう

In reality, like this.

思ったことで

What I thought.

自分でやることって

What you do by yourself is...

無理をすると思う

I think it's overdoing it.

まあね

Well, yeah.

確かにな

That's true.

それはすごい留学来て

That's an amazing study abroad experience.

めっちゃ思った

I thought a lot.

なんか

Something.

なんとなく留学

Studying abroad for some reason.

さっき声が言ってたけど

Earlier, the voice was saying...

留学行ってるだけで

Just by studying abroad.

すごいなんか

That's amazing or something.

住んでるみたいな

It seems like I'm living.

思われてる

Being thought of

かもしれないけど

It might be.

なんか

Something.

留学って思うのは

What I think about studying abroad is

マジで

Seriously.

留学来て

Come study abroad.

1年間勉強したやつが

The one who studied for a year.

すごい

Amazing.

例えば

For example

言語が上手くなったりとか

Improving language skills and so on.

何か大きい成長を遂げて

Achieve some significant growth.

帰ってくるんじゃなくて

It's not about coming back.

留学行って

Going to study abroad.

マジでストイックに

Seriously stoic.

勉強して

Please study.

たくさん人と

With many people

コミュニケーション取ったりとか

Things like communicating.

いろんなところで

In various places.

足を運んで

Make the effort to go.

見て聞いて

Watch and listen.

話してきた人が

The person I've been talking to.

留学後に

After studying abroad

自分の経験とか

My own experiences, etc.

そういったことを

Things like that.

すごい

Amazing

ほぼと勉強したっていう風に

It feels like I studied almost.

言えるだけで

Just being able to say it.

周りとか見てても

Even when I look around...

遊びが目的って人は

People who see play as the goal.

もちろんいるけどね

Of course, there are.

旅行が目的って人もいるけど

There are people whose purpose is travel, though.

でも

But

特にバーチャラとか

Especially virtuals or something.

段階出す人はいるけどさ

There are people who set stages, but...

目標立てるだけじゃなくて

It's not just about setting goals.

そこまでに

Until then.

たどり着くために

In order to reach it.

どうするべきか

What should I do?

みたいなのが

Something like that.

明確に見えてる人が

The person who can see clearly.

あるなってことは

That means there is.

4ヶ月で

In 4 months.

その難しさを

The difficulty of that.

すごい痛感していく

I feel it intensely.

私としては

As for me

結果より

Results over.

家庭派になったら

If you become a family person.

どれだけ努力しても

No matter how hard I try.

実らないことがあるし

Sometimes things don't bear fruit.

努力した結果

As a result of hard work.

自分が思い描いてる

I am imagining.

思い描いてる目標とは

What kind of goals are you envisioning?

ずれた結果になって

As a result, it has become distorted.

それもそれで

That's fine too.

アリだったっていう時もあるから

There are times when I felt like an ant.

逆算がうまくいかないパターンが

Patterns where back-calculation doesn't go well.

ほとんどなの

It's almost done.

私の人生

My life

一応大学院に行くとか

"I'm thinking of going to graduate school, just in case."

そういうでっかい目標を

Such a big goal

達成はできたけど

I was able to achieve it, but...

細かい時期どうするかとかも

Details about what to do with the timing too.

結局1年ずらしたし

In the end, I postponed it by a year.

なんかいろいろ

Various things.

修正しながらやってきたから

I've been working on it while making corrections.

なんか結果にこだわりすぎて

I feel like I'm too fixated on the results.

潰れるタイプだから

Because I'm the type to crumble.

うん

Yeah.

だからもうなんか

So, I don't know anymore.

そこはやめた

I quit that place.

というか

By the way,

努力できてない自分を

The self that can't put in the effort.

責めるのもやめた

I stopped blaming you.

っていうか

I mean, or Rather.

なんか怠惰な人間に

Something like a lazy person.

聞こえるかもしんないけど

You might be able to hear it, but...

分かんない

I don't understand.

ここまで努力して

You've worked hard to get this far.

私は何を得たんだってなって

I wonder what I have gained.

逆に潰れるんだったら

On the contrary, if I were to be crushed...

精一杯生きてるから

I'm living my life to the fullest.

よしよし

Good, good.

誰もしたくないんだったら

If no one wants to do it

自分がしようって

"I'm going to do it myself."

でもなんかこの意見と

But somehow, this opinion and...

大地の意見は別に

Daichi's opinion is different.

対立はしないというか

It's not that there is no conflict, but rather...

なんか交わる気がする

I feel like we're somehow intersecting.

僕も別に対立はしないと思う

I don't think I have any particular opposition either.

これはなんか

This is something.

過程は確かに大事

The process is indeed important.

というか

In other words, or rather.

過程がないと結果がないしさ

Without a process, there is no result.

僕が思うのは

What I think is

結果市場主義なんじゃなくて

It's not about results-based marketism.

結果以外で

Besides the results.

過程で準備してきて

I've been preparing for the process.

うまくいかなかった時に

When things didn't go well

うまくいかない要因っていうのはさ

The factors that lead to things not going well are...

努力じゃどうしても

No matter how hard I try.

説明できないところがあるんだと

There are some parts that I can't explain.

その人の

That person's

環境とか

Environment, etc.

特にこう

Especially like this.

社会問題みたいになるけどさ

It might turn into a social issue, but...

前医学部でさ

At the former medical school, you know.

女学生がさ

A female student, you know?

人にこう

To people like this

初合格になってたとかもさ

It seems like I got my first passing grade or something.

それって別に

That's not really...

個人努力関係ないじゃん

It has nothing to do with personal effort.

ないね

Not there.

そういったなんか社会のさ

Something like society, you know.

こうなんていうの

What do you call this?

なんか不条理な出来事とかがさ

Like some kind of absurd events or something.

重なってうまくいかないパターンもあるだろうしさ

There might be patterns where things don't go well when they overlap.

うんうんもちろん

Sure, of course.

ただ僕はなんかこう

It's just that I feel something like this.

生きてて

Live on.

今何を一番やりたいかって

What I want to do the most right now is...

やったことに対して

In response to what has been done.

とにかくこう

Anyway, like this.

今は自分の勉強がしたいと思って

Right now, I want to focus on my own studies.

やってて

I'm doing it.

じゃあその勉強を続けていくためには

So in order to continue that study...

どうしたらいいかって言ったらやっぱ

If you're asking what you should do, then...

いい卒業論も書かなきゃいけないし

I also have to write a good graduation thesis.

潰れそうだけどな

It looks like it's about to collapse.

潰れないで

Don't collapse.

いや

No.

プレッシャーだと思うけど

I think it's pressure, but...

まあでも

Well, but...

それでなんか

So, well...

バッチリ体調も崩したし

I've also completely wrecked my health.

大変だ

It's tough.

マジで

Seriously.

一気に落ちたからね

It dropped all at once.

何した?何した?

What did you do? What did you do?

体重20キロ落ちてるから

I've lost 20 kilograms.

マジ?

Really?

20?

20?

ああ

Ah.

小学生一人分とかじゃない?

Isn't it just for one elementary school student?

20はちょっと

20 is a bit much.

懸念を超えてる

Going beyond concern.

ストレス?

Stress?

そう

Yes.

体も

The body too.

まあでも健康がまず何より大事だっていうのは

Well, health is the most important thing above all else.

うんもうその通り

Yeah, that's exactly right.

自分を失ったらもともこもないです

If you lose yourself, nothing else matters.

努力もくそも

Effort is worthless.

何もなくなりますから

Because there will be nothing left.

20は心配

20 is worrying.

なんか

Somehow

ねえうちらが言えることは

Hey, what we can say is...

すごく限定的だけど

It's very limited, but...

気を抜いてボーっとする時間があれば

If you have time to let your guard down and zone out,

ぜひ

Sure!

何も考えられるし

I can think of anything.

本当に

Really.

何かしてずっと終われてる生活だと思うんだけど

I think it's a life where you're always busy doing something.

私もだし

Me too.

ずっと今までと潰れます

It will collapse just like it has until now.

体調崩します

I will get sick.

季節の変わり目

Change of seasons

いろいろあります

There are various things.

本当に

Really.

皆様も気をつけてください

Please take care, everyone.

視聴者さん

Viewer.

すごい思った

I thought it was amazing.

自分の取説を早く作った方がいいっていう

You should make your own manual as soon as possible.

どうしたら自分はリフレッシュできて

How can I refresh myself?

ストレス発散できるのか

Can you relieve stress?

どうしたら自分はリフレッシュできて

What can I do to refresh myself?

っていうのが

That's what I'm saying.

分かるとだいぶラックだよね

It's a real luck once you understand it, isn't it?

それが分かんないのが一番しんどかった

Not knowing that was the hardest part.

ねえ

Hey.

なんか

Somehow

20代は多分自分の取説見つける時期なんじゃない?

Your twenties are probably a time to figure out your own manual, right?

自分も前まで分かんなかった

I didn't understand it myself until recently.

今は若干分かるけど

I understand it a little bit now, but...

そういうのなくても割と

Even without that, it's still quite...

パッションでいけてたっていうかさ

It's like, I was able to go with passion, you know?

なんとなくでいけてたんだけどね

I was somehow managing to get by, though.

どうもいかなくなってきたというか

It seems like things have started to go wrong.

なんか多分普段無意識にやってたことがあったんだろうね

There was probably something I was doing unconsciously in my daily life.

言語化してなかっただけで

I just hadn't verbalized it.

うん

Yeah.

無意識にストレス発散だと思ってたことがあって

There were times when I unconsciously thought it was a way to relieve stress.

うん

Yeah.

それと話すことが私は多分だいぶストレス発散になったのね

Talking about it probably relieved a lot of my stress.

一緒

Together

でそれがなんか結構改まって話すっていう感じじゃなくて

It's not really a formal way of talking or anything like that.

家族に帰ってきた時にちょっと話すみたいな

It’s like talking a little when I come back to my family.

うん

Yeah.

, 自分でも人に話してるっていう感覚じゃなくて

It's not even a sense of talking to someone myself.

ただの家の中の会話

Just a conversation inside the house.

だから今も今お手入れ暮らししてるから

That's why I'm currently taking care of my daily life.

家帰って話せる人間がいないんだけど

There's no one at home to talk to.

うん

Yeah.

普通に電話するようにしてて人と

I try to call people normally.

大事

Important

今まで連絡とかあんま頻繁に取るの得意じゃないし

I've never been very good at keeping in touch frequently.

電話とか得意じゃないしって決めつけてたんだけど

I had decided that I wasn't good at things like phone calls.

うん

Yeah.

そこで自分の中で電話苦手だから

That's why I'm not good with phone calls.

電話はあんましないみたいな

It seems like I don't really make phone calls.

変なプライドみたいなのがあったんだけど

I had a strange sense of pride.

うん

Yeah.

それにしても大事なことは自分の中で人と話してリフレッシュすることなんだなって気づいたから

Still, the important thing is that I realized it's essential to talk to people and refresh myself.

そこはなんか一回自分の中の取説が見つかった瞬間だった

It was somehow the moment when I found the manual inside myself.

めっちゃ一緒

We're totally together.

やばい

Oh no!

私TMI

I have TMI.

ここ一週間ろくにそういう会話もしてなくて

I haven't really had such conversations for the past week.

めっちゃ落ち込んでるんです

I'm feeling really down.

どうも

Hello.

で思ったの私も前までは

I also thought that way before.

ルームメイトと話したりとかで

Talking with my roommate and such.

そういう短い間でも

Even during such a short time.

今日はどうだったとか

How was your day today?

一日一回少なくとも喋ってたから

Because we spoke at least once a day.

まだなんか平気だったんだけど

I was still somehow okay.

今あんまり会話交わさないっていうか

Right now, we don't really have much conversation, or rather...

ルーティンが全然違う

The routine is completely different.

合わないのね

It doesn't match, does it?

だから全然喋ってなくて

So we haven't talked at all.

一言も言葉発さずに過ごすと

If you spend time without uttering a single word,

こんなに自分落ちるんだっていうのを気づいて

I realized that I'm falling so much like this.

うん

Yeah.

電話もだし

It's also about the phone.

対面

Face-to-face

なんか仕事とかでもだけど

It's kind of like work and stuff.

うん

Yeah.

人と会って喋るっていうこの行為が必要

The act of meeting and talking with people is necessary.

そうね

That's right.

それが分かるのが大事だよね

It's important to understand that, isn't it?

不要なら不要って分かることが大事だし

It's important to understand that if you don't need it, then you don't need it.

そう

That's right.

それがストレスになる人もいるだろうし

There are probably people for whom that becomes stressful.

ねねね

Hey hey hey

本当にそう

That's really true.

そうなんかマニュアルじゃない

Is that not in the manual?

取説の話したじゃん

I mentioned the manual, didn't I?

私がみんなに聞きたかったことがあって

I wanted to ask everyone something.

これは私がオーストラリアに行った時に

This is when I went to Australia.

メイリーと話したことなんだけど

I talked to Meiry.

そう白いで

It's so white.

一人と一人の違い

The difference between one person and another.

でこの一人っていうのは

So, this one person...

孤独の方の一人と

With one who is lonely.

人数の一人

One person out of the group.

よく一人と一人って違うって言うじゃん

They often say that one person and another are different, don't they?

それって何が違うの具体的にっていう話を

Can you specifically explain what the difference is?

知ってたんだよね

I knew it.

会った時に

When we met.

そう

Yes.

英語で一人っていう意味で

It means "alone" in English.

ロンリネス

Loneliness

孤独の方のロンリネスと

The loneliness of solitude and

一人人数の方のソリュチュードっていうものがあって

There is something called solitude for one person.

うちらがこの辺に住んでるときに

When we were living around here

そうしたきっかけが

Such an opportunity was...

私たちの話になって他の人の話をしてて

We were talking about ourselves while discussing other people.

この方はそのソリュチュード

This person is that solitude.

一人の方

One person

一人一つだ

One for each person.

自立してる

Independent.

自立してるって言葉でもないか

It may not even be the word for being independent.

一人で過ごして生きてるタイプの人で

It's the type of person who lives and spends time alone.

でも私は

But I...

その一人っていう

That person, to say the least.

時間がどうしても

I just can't find the time.

孤独

Loneliness

ロンリネスの方になっちゃうから

Because it would lead to loneliness.

どうしたら

What should I do?

一人でも安心感があるとか

Even when alone, there's a sense of安心感.

そういったものを

Such things.

なんで

Why?

みたいな

Like

プラス留学中ってその孤立とか

"Plus, being abroad during that isolation..."

その違いがすごく出てこないかって話をしてて

We were talking about whether that difference really stands out or not.

第一に聞きたかった

I wanted to ask first.

なんか孤立っていうかさ

It's like I'm feeling isolated or something.

その孤独って方

That loneliness.

僕のイメージでは

In my imagination,

自らさ

By oneself.

望んで孤独になるとかあると思う

I think it’s possible to wish for solitude.

例えばその孤独のグルメとかさ

For example, that "Lonely Gourmet" and so on.

なんか日本でも

Something in Japan too.

馴染みたい言葉な気がしてる

I feel like it's a word I want to get accustomed to.

なんかあえて

"Somehow, intentionally."

孤独になって

Become lonely.

勉強するとか

Like studying or something.

そんな

Such a thing.

なんか

Somehow

ポジっていうような意味だと思う

I think it means something like "positive."

勉強って結構孤独だと思うし

I think studying can be quite lonely.

習わざるを得ないと思うから

I think I have no choice but to learn it.

何かを集中して取り組むとかさ

Focusing on something or similar.

そういうのは孤独だと思う

I think that kind of thing is lonely.

例えば

For example

集団で遊びに行っても

Even if we go out to play as a group,

孤独っていうのはあり得ると思うし

I think loneliness is something that can exist.

でも寂しいとかさ

But it's lonely, you know?

こうそういった感じ

It feels like this.

感情っていうのは

Emotions are

なんか理不尽に押し寄せてくるというかさ

It's like something unreasonably overwhelms me.

僕めっちゃ今留学来て

I'm currently studying abroad a lot.

あえてこう孤独にならないと

I have to deliberately not become lonely.

なろうと思って

I think I will become.

すごい孤独を意識してるんだけど

I'm really aware of my loneliness.

なんか少しでも気を抜いたら

If I let my guard down even a little...

僕すごい誰とでも話したいし

I really want to talk to anyone.

誰とでもすぐ仲良くなれるっていう

"I can quickly become friends with anyone."

まあこう性格だから

Well, that's just my personality.

こうあんまり話せる人の近くに行かないとか

It's like not going near someone who can talk too much.

そういうことで孤独してるんだけど

That's why I'm feeling lonely.

でもそういった時にもちろん寂しさはあるし

But of course, there is loneliness at times like that.

合ってる話の方向性

The direction of the story is correct.

ずれてない

Not misaligned.

なんか

Somehow

で

Then

ドキャストは何でもいいんですよ

Any kind of broadcast is fine.

どうぞどうぞ

Please, go ahead.

寂しさっていうのは

Loneliness is

なんかもう

I don't know, it feels like...

理不尽だよね

It's unreasonable, isn't it?

なんか急にこう

Suddenly like this...

殴りかかってくるようにさ

It feels like you're about to punch me.

例えば家族だったりとか

For example, it could be family or something like that.

人とのこういう関係を求めたりとか

Seeking relationships like this with others.

なんていうの

What do you call it?

どうやったら満たされるんだろうって

I wonder how I can feel fulfilled.

めっちゃ思うぐらいに

I think a lot about it.

寂しくなる時はあるね

There are times when you feel lonely.

で

So

特になんか

Especially something.

楽しそうな人を見たりとか

Seeing people who look like they're having fun.

それがその恋人的な感じの人だったりとか

It was that kind of person who felt like a lover.

友達でもそうだけど

It's the same even with friends.

なんかすごい

That's amazing.

自分は取り残されているというかさ

It's like I'm being left behind.

うん

Yeah.

寂しい取りぼっちみたいな

It feels like I'm lonely and all alone.

うん

Yeah.

気持ちはなんか常にある気がして

I feel like there's always something going on with my emotions.

それも

That too.

あごめんね

I'm sorry.

留学来て

Come study abroad.

なおさら実感した感じ

It felt even more real.

それとも日本にいる時から

"Or since I was in Japan."

なんか若干あった

There was somewhat of a difference.

それともなんか他のとこで

Or somewhere else?

満たされてるとかあった

There were things that were fulfilled.

日本にいた時も思った

I thought that too when I was in Japan.

うんなんか

Um, something...

僕こっちから

I'm coming from this side.

一人暮らししたからさ

Because I started living alone.

はいはいはいはい

Yes yes yes yes

常に寂しかったんだけどさ

I was always lonely, you know.

でもなんかそういった時は

But somehow at times like that...

まだ

Not yet.

なんていうのかな

What should I say?

あんまり敏感じゃなかったというかさ

It's not that I was particularly sensitive or anything.

今22の歳になろうとしてさ

I'm about to turn 22 years old.

はいはい

Yes, yes.

年齢が上がって

As you get older

かつこう

school

自分の感情とかを

My emotions and such

言葉に少しできるようになってきてさ

I've started to get a little better at speaking.

はいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes.

なんで考えるんだろうと

I wonder why I think about it.

考えになってきたからは

Because it has come to my mind.

すごい敏感になったというか

It's like I've become incredibly sensitive.

なんかすごい考えてね

It’s like you’re really thinking hard about it.

うーん

Hmm.

で一人が良くない

Being alone is not good.

孤独になろうとしてるから

Because I'm trying to be lonely.

一人は良くないと思ってないけど

I don't think being alone is a bad thing.

うん

Yeah.

ただなんだろう

It's just something, I guess.

この猛烈な

This fierce/violent

こう

Like this

寂しさが

Loneliness is

寂しさというか

It's more like loneliness.

はい

Yes.

死ぬほど分かる

I understand to the point of dying.

誰かと話してたいし

I want to talk to someone.

でも誰かと話してる自分を考えるのちょっと嫌なの

But I feel a bit嫌 about imagining myself talking to someone.

なんか

Something.

こう話すのは楽しいんだけど

It's fun to talk like this, but...

話せば話すほどなんか

The more I talk, the more it feels like something...

自分を許せなくなるというかさ

It's like I can't forgive myself.

なんかこう甘えないけど

It's like I don't rely on anyone, but...

なんか今の自分にそんな余裕があっていいのか

I wonder if it's okay for me to have that kind of余裕right now.

って考えちゃう

I can't help but think that way.

ねえちょっとポーズ

Hey, hold on a second, strike a pose.

悲しい

Sad.

厳しくね

Strictly, no.

自分ね

It's me.

なんか

Something.

うーん

Hmm.

どう思っちゃうのなんか

What do you think about it?

修行?

Training?

なんかヘルシーじゃない考え方も分かるけど

I can understand that it's not a very healthy way of thinking.

うーん

Hmm.

バランスもあるけど

There's also balance, but...

そう

Yes.

あと誰でもいいってわけでもないと思う

I don't think it's just anyone who would do.

もちろん

Of course.

それはそう思うね

I think so too.

うーん

Hmm.

家族といっても寂しいと思うときあるし

Even with family, there are times when I feel lonely.

分かる

I understand.

なんだろうね

I wonder what it is.

恋人といっても寂しいと思うし

Even if we call each other lovers, I still feel lonely.

うん

Yeah.

いや本当に

No, really.

なんていうの

What do you call it?

オールマイティー満たされるかがないかもしれない

It may not be possible to be fulfilled in everything.

まあその私が思うにみんななんかそれぞれ役割が違うというか

Well, I think that everyone has different roles, so to speak.

家族は家族の役割があるけど

Families have their roles within the family.

家族愛が他のなんかタイプの愛情を満たせるわけでもなくて

Family love cannot replace other types of affection.

自己愛が他のものと交換可能でもないのかなと思って

I wonder if self-love is not something that can be exchanged for anything else.

そうあの若干話がずれるんだけど

Well, this is slightly off-topic, but...

なんか寂しさを埋めるものっていう話で

It's a story about something that fills the emptiness.

家族愛の形って別に他の人のものをなんか充足よりなんか満たすものでもないし

The form of familial love isn't something that fulfills or satisfies something from others.

なんか友達関係が恋愛とか恋愛が友達関係を満たすとか

It feels like friendship is fulfilling romance, or romance is fulfilling friendship.

自己愛が何かを満たすっていうものは交換可能だとはあんま思えなくなってきて

I've come to feel that the idea of self-love fulfilling something isn't really interchangeable.

なんかある程度満足はするんだけど

I feel somewhat satisfied to a certain extent, but...

完全に交換可能っていうマインドはちょっとなんか危ないなって思う

I think the mindset of being completely interchangeable is somewhat dangerous.

自己愛ってもうそもそも自分とのずっと

Narcissism is essentially about being in constant conflict with oneself.

戦いじゃないんだけど

It's not a fight, though.

自分とのヒーリングの試合でずっと続くもんだから

Because it is something that continues on indefinitely in the match of healing with myself.

一生じゃん

It's a lifetime, isn't it?

長期的なもんだから

It's a long-term thing.

それはもう自己愛はあって当然だし

It's only natural to have self-love.

自己需要とかができればなおさらいいんだけど

It would be even better if I could have self-need or something like that.

なぜか

For some reason.

なんか例えば恋人が欲しいのにいなくて悲しい

I want a partner, but I'm sad because I don't have one.

だったら自己愛しろ

Then love yourself.

みたいな感じで

Like that, you know?

すごくセルフラブの押し付けまで言いたくないな

I don't want to even say it's really pushing self-love.

押し付けじゃないんだけど

It's not that I'm forcing it on you, but...

なんか他の人が恋愛できんのに

"Somehow, others can fall in love, but I can't."

なんで私だけセルフラブで満足しろって言わなきゃいけないの他人から

Why do I have to be told by others to be satisfied with self-love only?

っていう状況が起きたりで

That kind of situation happens.

なるほどね確かにね

I see, that makes sense.

私は別に自分のこと愛してますよ

I actually love myself, you know.

けど別に友達とのふれあいをし

But I don't particularly have any interaction with friends.

例えば恋人とふれあいたい

For example, I want to be close to my partner.

それは別にあるじゃん

That's a different matter.

確かに確かに

Indeed, indeed.

お前そこがなんか

There's something about you there.

私他の愛情を受け取れられないのは

I can't receive other affections.

セルフラブが足りてないからだ

It's because there isn't enough self-love.

もっと自分を磨け

Polish yourself more.

みたいな感じであるのはなんか

It feels like something similar to that.

目的が変わってくるというか

It's like the purpose changes.

誰がそんなこと言うの

Who would say something like that?

いるの

I am here.

あのなんか寝降り部っぽい

It somehow feels like a sleepover club.

最近スレッツでそういう

Recently in Threads, I've been seeing that.

会話があるんですよ

There is a conversation.

なんか怪しいセミナーのさ

It’s some kind of suspicious seminar.

門弁みたいじゃないの

Isn't it like a gatekeeper?

それはすごい思う

I think that's amazing.

そのセルフラブが注目されるようになったのは

The reason self-love has gained attention is

すごくいいことだと思うけど

I think it's a really good thing, but...

なんか隙あらばセールスポイントばかりに

It seems like they keep focusing on the selling points whenever there's a chance.

進められるあるよね

It's possible to be promoted, right?

なんか司法主義化されたセルフラブ

Somehow, self-love has become judicialized.

うんうんうん

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

あー恐ろしい

Ah, that's terrifying.

全部に商業チャンスがあると思われてるね

It seems that there are commercial opportunities in everything.

そう

Yes.

セルフラブに自分磨きの文脈が乗っかって

Self-love is intertwined with self-improvement.

脱毛しようみたいなこと言われると

When I'm told something like "Let's get hair removal done,"

そう

Yes.

すごい

Amazing

違うってなる

It will turn out to be different.

うん

Yeah.

自己需要ですかなんですかってなるね

Is it self-need or what?

セルフラブならマジでありのまんまの自分でいいと思う

I really think that for self-love, it's okay to just be myself as I am.

うん

Yeah.

違う

Different.

そこになんかたちが乗っかってくんのが

Something is going to rest on that.

なんか偽用されてんなーって思うんだよね

I feel like I'm being used in some way.

ねー

Hey!

よしなんかそもそもセルフラブ

Alright, it's basically about self-love.

あごめん

Oh, sorry.

そもそもセルフラブを

In the first place, self-love is...

セルフの話なのになんで他人からこうしろああしろって

It's a story about self, so why are others telling me to do this and that?

言うことになってんだってなって

It seems that it has been decided to say that.

ちょっとなんかもやもやーってなるね

It feels a bit fuzzy, doesn't it?

なんか

Something.

インスタ

Instagram

インスタ?

Instagram?

SNSとかあるじゃんなんかこう

There's something like SNS, right?

なんか例えば憧れてるモデルさんの写真見て

For example, when I see photos of models I admire...

うん

Yeah.

こう全くさなんていうの

What should I say about this?

脱毛して毛がない人とか見る

I see people who have no hair due to hair removal.

顔が小さい人とかどんどん見てやっぱ思うんじゃない

People with small faces, you can't help but think more and more about them, right?

こうこういう風になりたいっていうさものがあって

I have something that I want to be like this.

そこでたまたまこう広告で脱毛広告とか見てさ

So I happened to see an ad for hair removal in the ads there.

うん

Yeah.

でなんかこう自分を愛するためには

So, in order to love myself...

やっぱ自分を変えなきゃいけないみたいなものを返したり

It seems like I have to change myself after all.

それは脱毛しちゃうかもしれないと思うし

I think it might end up getting hairless.

いやー

Well...

だから自分のなりたい姿に近づきたいと思うのはさ

So I want to get closer to the person I want to become.

なんかまあわかる気もするしさ

I kind of understand, I guess.

まあ確かにそれもわかる

Well, I can understand that.

それ自体は否定しないけど

I don't deny that itself, but...

やっぱなんかそこにいろんな人のいろんな思惑が乗ってることに気づかずに

I realize that without noticing, various people's different intentions are at play there.

乗せられていくのはちょっと不本意だよね

Being taken along like that is a bit against my will, isn't it?

自分のなりたい姿が本当に自分がそう思ってるのか

Whether the image of oneself I want to become is truly what I think it is.

社会からそう言われてるから

Because that's what society says.

あ、なんなきゃなんなきゃっていう

"Ah, if it’s not that, then what is it?"

そこの多分なんかどんどん何

Probably something over there, I don't know.

境界線が鈍くなる

The boundary line becomes dull.

まあでもそこってこう切っても切り離せないっていうかさ

Well, in a way, it's something that can't be separated, you know?

人間が生まれてきているのはもうすでに社会なわけだから

Humans are already born into society.

そう

That's right.

そこを

There.

自分の考えもね

My own thoughts as well.

うん

Yeah.

自覚的に

Consciously.

そういう話っていうのは不可能に近い話だとは思うけども

I think stories like that are almost impossible to believe, but...

うん

Yeah.

そこをなんかこうセルフラブと結びつけて

Connecting that somehow to self-love.

あたかもあなたの意思でやってますよねみたいな

It's as if you're doing it of your own will, isn't it?

感じにするのは絶対違うと思う

I absolutely think it's wrong to do it that way.

違うね

That's not right.

いや本当に

No, really.

そう

Yes.

さっきのその孤独がどうのっていう話

About that talk earlier regarding loneliness.

で結局自己愛は代理がきかないみたいな話を

So in the end, it's like the story that self-love cannot be substituted.

メリーがしてくれたじゃない

Mary did it for me.

うん

Yeah.

なんか今日ずっと私人の声言葉引用してて申し訳ないんですけど

I'm sorry to keep quoting someone else's words today.

宇田光先生が

Mr. Hikari Uta

大先生

Great teacher

なんかなんで人間って誰かと別れた時に寂しいと思うのかみたいなことを聞かれた時に

When I was asked why humans feel lonely when they separate from someone.

うん

Yeah.

なんか人間にはもともと心の穴があって

It seems that humans originally have a hole in their hearts.

それを誰かが埋めてくれてただけで

It was just that someone had buried it for me.

そこの穴を塞ぐ人がいなくなってただけだから

It's just that there is no one to fill that hole anymore.

なんか寂しいっていう感情はデフォルトみたいな

It feels like the feeling of loneliness is the default.

予約するとそんなことを言ってたの

They said something like that when making a reservation.

だから誰かがいなくなったから初めて寂しいんじゃなくて

It's not that I feel lonely for the first time just because someone has left.

もともとの状態が寂しいっていう状態を

The original state is a state of sadness.

誰かがそうじゃない状態にしてくれてたっていうだけなんじゃない

Isn't it just that someone has been making it that way?

はいはいはいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

言ってて

Say it.

なんかそれを聞いてから私は寂しいっていう感情自体をちょっと愛そうというか

Since I heard that, I've been trying to love the feeling of loneliness itself a little.

はぁっ!

Haa!

っていう風に思うようになって

I have come to think of it that way.

寂しいことが悪いことじゃないし

Being lonely is not a bad thing.

それって自分にそもそも備わってた感情を思い出しただけなのかなとか

I wonder if that was just a moment when I recalled the emotions that were already within me.

また代わりに埋めてくれる人とか自分の何か代わりになるものみたいなのが

Also, someone who can fill in for me or something that can replace me...

現れるまでそのありのままの感情と向き合えばいいかなって思うようになってから

I've started to think that it might be good to face those raw emotions until they appear.

うん

Yeah.

割と

Relatively.

孤独の方の一人もそんなに嫌じゃなくなったっていう

I've come to not dislike being alone so much.

自分にとって必要な時間として認められるようになったっていうか

It's more like I've come to acknowledge it as necessary time for myself.

ええ

Yes.

いい

Good.

確かに

Certainly.

うん

Yeah.

なんかそう最近のテーマが自分も結構自分の追ってきた傷とかトラウマとか

Recently, it seems that the theme has been quite focused on my own wounds and traumas that I've been dealing with.

色々負の側面とされる部分の自分の自己を

Self aspects that are considered various negative aspects.

認める作業をしないといけないなと思って

I think I need to do the work of acknowledgment.

なんか色々インスタのオススメとかにもどうしたらヒーリングできるかみたいな

I've seen various recommendations on Instagram about how to achieve healing.

いっぱいね

A lot.

あの精神的な話のいっぱい出てくるんだけど

There's a lot of talk about mental stuff, but...

なんか結局そこの寂しさとか怒りとか理不尽さに傷ついてるとか

It feels like I'm ultimately hurt by the loneliness, anger, and absurdity of that situation.

そういったちょっと人に話すのは恥ずかしいかもしれない部分も好きまでいかなくてもいいから

I don't necessarily have to like those parts that might be a bit embarrassing to talk about with others.

だからその感情もありましたよね自分

So there were those feelings too, right?

そりゃそうって認めるってすごくその自分をなんだろうな

Acknowledging that is really something about oneself, I wonder what it is.

ヒーリングのためにすごく必要なんだなっていうのを学んでて

I've been learning that it's really essential for healing.

めっちゃわかりました

I totally understand.

なんか怒りの話が大事

Somehow, the topic of anger is important.

すいませんよお父さん

I'm sorry, Dad.

すいませんすいませんすいません

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

どうぞ

Please.

すいません

Excuse me.

なんかセルフラブかわかんないんだけど

I don't really understand what's self-love or not.

僕がそのつらい時とかよくやってる方法は自分の勉強をするっていうのがすごい

What I often do during those tough times is study, and that is really helpful.

すげえ

Awesome!

すごい

Amazing.

いやなんか最近めっちゃなんかその悩んどって

Well, I've been really troubled about something lately.

宣伝とかじゃないですけど

It's not really a promotion or anything, but...

戸畑海人先生っていう心理学の先生がいるんですけど

There is a psychology teacher named Dr. Tobata Kaito.

はい

Yes

心理学者の先生の本を読んで

I read a book by a psychology professor.

なんかその人はその研究的にはこう沖縄とかにいる怪しいこうセミナーとか

It seems that person is involved in suspicious seminars in places like Okinawa related to that research.

はい

Yes

あのスピリチュアルカウンセラーみたいな人に取材インタビューして

I interviewed that person who is like a spiritual counselor.

その人たちがやってることからその臨床心理学とは一体どういう学問なのかっていうのを取り直すっていう研究をした人で

They are a person who conducted research to reconsider what clinical psychology is based on what those people are doing.

すごい面白い研究だなと思って

I think it's an amazing and interesting study.

これも僕は自分の先生から教えてもらって読み始めたんですけど

I also started reading this after being taught by my own teacher.

こう結構その本の中で書かれてるのはその傷ついてる人が人を他の人を癒す人になってくるんですよ

What's written in that book is that hurt people become healers for others.

人を他の人を癒す人になっていってるっていう過程がこう丁寧に描かれてて

The process of becoming a person who heals others is portrayed in such a careful manner.

例えばそう自分がすごいもう人生なんて理不尽だと思うような

For example, when you think that life is just so unreasonable.

辛い経験をした人がそういうカウンセラーとかスピリチュアルなものを他の人に提供して他の人を癒すっていう方に回っていってるみたいな

It seems that people who have gone through painful experiences are turning to offer such counseling or spiritual support to heal others.

っていうそういう流れがあるっていうのを見て

I saw that there is such a flow.

ああなんかこう社会科学

Ah, it's something like social science.

これもなんか先輩が言ってたんだけど

I heard my senior say this too.

社会科学も人を癒す学問なんじゃないかみたいな

Isn't social science also a field that heals people?

おお

Oh!

ことを言っててね

I'm saying that.

僕はもう社会科学を勉強してますから

I am already studying social sciences.

まあちょっとこれは僕もね

Well, this is a bit difficult for me too.

勉強してるときで結構もう本読むとかもそうだけど

When I'm studying, it's quite common to read books and such too.

だからひたすら今本読んでるんですけど

So I'm just reading a book right now.

めっちゃ難しいけど

It's super difficult, but...

でもなんかこういう考え方があるんだとか

But there is this way of thinking, you know.

今の自分にこうこの考え方を提供したらどうなるかとか

What would happen if I offered this way of thinking to my current self?

考えていくとやっぱ自然とこう癒されてるかヒーリングされてるかわかんないんだけど

When I think about it, I guess I don't really know if I'm naturally being healed or if it's just healing me.

なんかそのときだけ忘れられるというかさ

It's like I can forget everything just for that moment.

ある意味僕はすごい傷ついたっていうか

In a way, I was really hurt.

その留学したりとか

Studying abroad or something like that.

まあ留学来る前からたぶん傷ついてたことを自分で気づかなかったりとか

Well, I probably didn't even realize that I was hurt before coming to study abroad.

なかったことがだんだんとこう留学でまた新たに傷ついて

Not having it is gradually becoming a new hurt through studying abroad.

自分がよくわかんなかったときにこうよくわかんなかった

I often didn't understand when I didn't really get it.

その勉強でこう改めて自分自身がこうなんていうか救われてるじゃないけど

In that study, I'm not sure how to put it, but I feel like I am being saved once again.

なんか一番自分が身近にあるっていうか

It's like the thing that feels closest to me.

自分がこうこれをやりたいっていうものが自分自身をこう実は癒してたのかなとか思って

I wonder if what I wanted to do was actually healing myself.

転職じゃない?

Isn't it a job change?

いい循環すぎる

It's such a good cycle.

なんかこうね

It's like, you know...

常時こうダメージ負ってるみたいな感じだから

It feels like I'm constantly taking damage like this.

なんか勉強でダメージ取って勉強で癒されてる

I'm taking damage from studying, but I'm also healing through studying.

癒されてる愛憎

Healed love and hate.

傷つけられて癒されてる

Hurt and healing.

これトキシックだな

This is toxic.

え、でもマジタイツに言いたいのは終始白紙進むんだったら途中で絶対休憩機会でな

Eh, but what I really want to say to the tights is that if you're going to proceed with a blank slate all the way, then you absolutely need to take a break along the way.

白紙行こうとする友達いるんだけど休憩入れないとぶっ倒れるよって話してる

I have a friend who is trying to go all out on a blank page, but I told them they need to take a break, or they'll collapse.

そうなんだ

I see.

うん、あのすごい小鳥のさやずりがすごいディズニー映画みたいになってんだよ

Yeah, that amazing little bird's chirping sounds just like something out of a Disney movie.

あ、プンテルみたい

Ah, it looks like Punter.

プンテルみたいな

Like Punter.

ドイツタイツしかいない

There are only German tights.

ドイツのさやずりか

Sayers from Germany

かっけーなー

That's cool!

いや休息なんていうの

No, it's not about rest.

なんか就職するとかじゃなくて

It's not like I'm looking for a job or anything.

ただギャップイヤー的な感じ

Just a gap year kind of feeling.

半年でもいい

Six months is fine.

なんか何もしない期間

A period of not doing anything.

そうずっとこうなっちゃうからね

That's why it keeps turning out like this.

あのこうって何?

What is that kou?

えっと視野が一個に固まってずっと視点が固まるから

Um, my perspective becomes fixed on one thing, so my viewpoint stays rigid.

なんかいつか潰れちゃう気がして心配です

I'm worried that it might collapse someday.

そうだね

That's right.

いや僕もなんか

Well, I feel something too.

なんかよくねこう体調が一番大事だってよく言われてるから気をつけようと思うんですけど

I've often heard that health is the most important thing, so I think I should be careful.

そう

Yes.

小鳥が素晴らしい

The little bird is wonderful.

出ません?これさ

"Isn't it coming out? This."

いえいえ自然は豊か素敵なものです

No, no, nature is a rich and wonderful thing.

そうこうなんか塔の上のラプンツェル的なね

Like Rapunzel in a tower or something.

こう

Like this.

おおねえ生活だなー

It's a big sister life, isn't it?

ベルボルンの音が鳴り響き

The sound of the bell resonates.

すごいベルボルン

Amazing Melbourne.

ベルボルンただクラクションでただうるさいっていう

Birmingham is just noisy with honking.

週末のクソみたいなシティ案件なんだけど

It's a shitty city job this weekend, though.

やださっきの声だよ二人の

No way, that was your voice just now, both of you.

マジでここ誰かしらずっと叫んでんの夜

Seriously, someone's been shouting here all night.

夜中

Midnight

怖いって

It's scary.

やだ

I don't want to.

じゃあひとまずこれで今日は終わりたいと思います

Well then, I would like to end it here for today.

いえい

Yay!

送りしたのは

What I sent was

いらない?

Do you not want it?

はい送りしたのは太一と

Yes, it was sent by Taichi.

めりと

Merito

こはるでしたー

It was Koharu.

はいでインスタグラムのIDは

Yes, the Instagram ID is

逆やろ逆やろこれ

It's reversed, it's reversed, isn't it?

これそれを放送しますどうぞ

I will broadcast this now, please.

はいはいまあいいですよねはい

Yes, yes, that's fine, isn't it?

インスタグラムのIDは

The Instagram ID is

neverunderbargalsです

It is never under bargirls.

でもう一回言います

But I will say it one more time.

underbarnever

underbarnever

あ間違えた

Oh, I made a mistake.

neverunderbargalsです

It is neverunderbargals.

はい是非フォローもお願いします

Yes, please make sure to follow me as well.

やばい

Oh no!

隣のギャルズ

The girls next door.

今回もありがとうございました

Thank you for this time as well.

じゃあねおやすみ

Alright then, good night.

はいおやすみおはようございます

Yes, good night, good morning.

はい

Yes.