#31 最近あった辛いことの乗り越え方

Yumiko&Makiko

Midnight girlstalk

#31 最近あった辛いことの乗り越え方

ポレポレミッドナイトガールズトークインドネシア在住ジャイカ海外協力隊で活動中のユミコと

Porepore Midnight Girls Talk with Yumiko, who is currently working as a JICA volunteer in Indonesia.

日本在住カラーセラピストのマキコです生まれも育ちも年齢も違う2人ですが人や自然

I am Makiko, a color therapist living in Japan. Although we are two people with different backgrounds, ages, and upbringings, we care for people and nature.

旅行が大好きなのは一緒毎週様々なテーマをもとにゆるーく時にも熱く語っております

We both love traveling. We casually, and sometimes passionately, talk about various themes every week.

はいポレポレミッドナイトガールズトーク今週も始まりました

Yes, Pole Pole Midnight Girls Talk has started again this week.

イエーイ

Yay!

なんか私から始めるってちょっと新鮮なんですいません

I'm sorry, but starting from me feels a bit refreshing.

はい今週どうでしたかユミコちゃんは

So how was your week, Yumiko-chan?

そうですね

That's right.

仕事が始まって

Work has started.

最初のうちなんで

At first, why?

初めまして初めましてを繰り返して毎日

Nice to meet you, repeating "nice to meet you" every day.

ものすごいのんびりとみんなと喋って

Talking leisurely with everyone.

うん

Yeah.

はい時が過ぎていくっていう感じなんですけど

Yes, it feels like time is passing.

なんか結構いろんなそのインドネシアンスタイルというか

It feels like quite a lot of various Indonesian styles or something.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

もう日本との文化のギャップに毎日驚いています

I am amazed by the cultural gap with Japan every day.

それはまだまだ何ヶ月も続きそうですね

It seems like it's going to continue for several more months.

そうですねなんかたまたま今がすごいなんだろう

Well, it seems like something amazing is happening right now by chance.

プロジェクトが終わったばっかりで

I just finished the project.

でこうなんていうの kinds knocked

"I'm saying things like 'kinds knocked.'"

dea おやすみの時期らしくてhe

It seems like it's the time for a break.

うんだからねみんなですごいですよずっとね8時間ずっとTikTokやってる

Yeah, everyone is amazing; they've been doing TikTok for eight straight hours.

そうのびっくりおっけー声出ちゃった

I couldn't help but let out a surprised "okay!"

なんか的特区を見てるか

Are you watching some kind of special district?

何か自分の服業のアクセサリー作ってるか

Are you making any accessories for your own clothing?

外でなんか野球ごっこみたいなやってるか

Are you playing something like baseball outside?

じっとはおやつ食べてるか

Are you eating snacks quietly?

stands up try can't get in but especially flying been too tired it hurts or something

I'm not sure what you're referring to. Could you please provide more context or clarify?

なんか

Somehow

常におしゃべりしながら

Always chatting.

それをやってて

I'm doing that.

なんかもうついに私

I finally... something.

今日

Today

いつもどんな仕事

What kind of work do you always do?

やってるんですかって聞いちゃったわね

I ended up asking if you're doing it, huh?

何やってるの

What are you doing?

なんかその

Well, um...

プロジェクトがちゃんと進行してる

The project is progressing well.

時は

Time is

ちゃんと街に出て

Properly go out into the city.

なんていうんだろうな

I wonder what to say.

データを集めたりとか

Collecting data and such.

聞き込み調査してデータ集めたりとか

Conducting interviews and gathering data, etc.

人々が捨ててる

People are throwing away.

ゴミの量をちゃんと測って

Measure the amount of garbage properly.

データサンプル取ったりとか

Taking data samples and things like that.

どうやったら

How can I do it?

良くなるかっていう調査のために

For the purpose of investigating whether it gets better.

結構いろいろと働いてたらしいんですけど

It seems like you've been working on quite a few things.

今ちょうど

Right now.

プロジェクトが終わったから

Because the project is finished.

そうですね

That's right.

上司一番上の上司は

The highest-ranking boss is...

レポートを提出しなきゃいけないから

Because I have to submit a report.

すごい忙しそうで

You seem really busy.

いつも書類とにらめっこして

Always staring down at documents.

パソコンやってたり

I’m doing some computer work.

ミーティングしてるんですけど

I'm having a meeting, though.

その下の部下の人たちは

The subordinates below them.

別にレポートの提出とかも

There's nothing particularly about submitting reports or anything.

上司がやればいいから

Because my boss can do it.

TikTokやってますね

You're doing TikTok, aren't you?

すごいね

That's amazing!

やっぱそれも日本と違うね

That's definitely different from Japan.

日本はさ

Japan is...

上司がやってたら

If the boss is doing it.

さすがにTikTokとかできないじゃん

As expected, I can't do things like TikTok.

そうなんかね

Is that so?

そうなんですよね

That's right.

でも結構上の立場

But it's quite a senior position.

なんていうんだろうな

I wonder what I should say.

その部署の部長

The head of that department.

には別に見られてもいいけど

I don't mind being seen separately.

その建物の中の頭みたいな人が来ると

When the person who seems to be the head inside that building comes,

一気に態度が変わるみんな

Everyone's attitude changes all at once.

やばいみたいな

It seems like it's bad.

携帯閉じろみたいな

"Like, close your phone."

学校みたいな

Like a school.

なんかねびっくりした

I was kind of surprised.

すっごい陽気にドラえもん歌ってくれてて

Doraemon is singing really cheerfully.

こないだ同僚が

The other day, a colleague...

なんかドラえもん歌ってくれて

Doraemon is singing for some reason.

わーとか言って

Saying things like "Wow!"

なんか私も喜んでたら

Somehow I was also happy.

急に青ざめた顔して

Suddenly with a pale face.

ちょっと待ってよ

Wait a minute.

ちょっと待ってみたいな

I’d like to wait a little.

ちょっと待ってって言ったら

I said to wait a moment.

急にバッて立ち上がって

Suddenly stood up.

めっちゃ姿勢ピシッとして立って

Stand up with a really straight posture.

もうイエスサーみたいな感じで

It's already feeling like "Yes, sir!"

何?と思って振り向いたら

When I turned around, wondering "What?"

結構その立場が上の人が

Someone in a fairly higher position.

なんか様子を見に来てて

It seems like they came to check how things are going.

そうそうそう

That's right, that's right!

なんか態度変わりすぎやんと思って

I think your attitude has changed too much.

びっくりした

I was surprised.

素直だね面白いね

You're straightforward and interesting.

なんかそういう社会みたいな

It feels like a society like that.

上下関係っていうか

It's more about the hierarchy.

結構ちゃんとしてる

It's quite well done.

そんな感じです

That's the feeling.

まきちゃんはどうですか?

How is Maki-chan?

最近の

Recent

私のあった出来事と

The events that happened to me and

感じたことなんだけど

It's something I've felt.

まだなんか

Not yet something.

あのポッドキャストあんまり聞いてる人が

Not many people are listening to that podcast.

いないと信じて

I believe you're not here.

セキュララに話そうかな

I wonder if I should talk to Sekirara.

って思うんですけど

I think so.

前々から言ってるように

As I've been saying for a while now

私があんまり両親と

I don't really get along with my parents.

仲が良くない

Not on good terms.

っていう状況なんですね

That's the situation.

なんか怖くないというか

It's not really scary or anything.

私的には過去のいろいろ

For me, various things from the past.

トラウマとか

Trauma and such.

いろいろな問題を含めて

Including various issues.

っていうのと

That's what I'm saying.

科学で会えると本当に性格が違うし

Meeting through science really shows how different our personalities are.

分かり合えないから

Because we cannot understand each other.

好きとか嫌いとかじゃなく

It's not about like or dislike.

お互いいい距離で

At a good distance for both of us.

適度な連絡でいましょう

Let's keep in touch moderately.

っていうスタンスでいます

"I'll take that stance."

うんうん

Uh-huh.

ただちょっとここ

Just a little bit here.

1,2年?

1 or 2 years?

1年ぐらい?

About a year?

なんか家族というか両親のことでも

It's about family or rather my parents.

いろいろあって

Due to various circumstances.

今ちょっと話とかはしとかないと

I need to talk a little right now.

この先みんな大変だよね

Everyone will have a hard time from now on, won't they?

っていう時期になってきまして

We're entering that time.

うん

Yeah.

そう姉が

Yes, my sister.

姉家族が緊急帰国じゃないけど

My sister's family is not on an emergency return trip.

今回来たのね

You came this time, didn't you?

うんうん

Uh-huh.

でそう

I guess so.

なんかいろいろ話をしたっていう

It seems like we talked about various things.

ここ1ヶ月ぐらいあったんだけど

It's been about a month.

うん

Yeah.

ここでの

Here.

気づきを2つ言おうかなと思って考えてきたんだけど

I was thinking of sharing two insights.

おう

Oh.

そうまず

Alright then.

そう姉が帰ってきて

Yes, my sister has come back.

姉と

With my older sister.

そう何回か言ってると思うんだけど

I've probably said this several times, but...

姉はカナダに住んでて

My sister lives in Canada.

日本でもカナダに長く住んでる人です

I have been living in Canada for a long time, even in Japan.

で帰ってくるのも5,6年ぶりかな

I guess it's been about 5 or 6 years since I last came back.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

実際に再会したんだけど

We actually met again.

やっぱ私がカナダに行った時もそうだったんですけど

It was the same when I went to Canada, after all.

すごい会いたかったけど

I really wanted to see you, but...

会うとまああんまり気が合わない

We don't really get along when we meet.

なんか家族あるあるですね

It seems like a common family thing.

なんかね

You know...

なんか私がAっていう風に思った彼女は絶対Bを選ぶタイプで

Somehow, I think that the girl who I believe is A would definitely choose B.

うん

Yeah.

ほぼほぼ白黒じゃないけど

It's almost not black and white.

真逆な考え方とか思ってる人だから

Because I'm someone who thinks in the completely opposite way.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

悪いとか嫌いとかではないんだけど

It's not that I dislike it or that it's bad, but...

話し合う人は絶対Bを選ぶタイプで

The person who discusses will definitely choose type B.

話が進まなかったり

The conversation didn't progress.

お互いのなんとなくこうだよねが全然交わってこないんだよね

Our vague understanding of each other just isn't connecting at all.

はいはいはいはいはい

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

だから本来て

So originally...

一番最初姉は日本のあちこちに移動してたんだけど

At first, my sister was moving around various places in Japan.

一番最初は私の住んでる地域に来たんだけど

At first, it came to the area where I live.

2,3日めっちゃ大変でしたね

The last couple of days were really tough, weren't they?

うーん

Hmm.

でもまあなんか

Well, anyway...

どうにかこうにか

Somehow or other.

本当に楽しくみんなで過ごすことができて

I was really able to have a wonderful time together with everyone.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

でその後に先々週ぐらいかな

So after that, maybe around the week before last.

母にね10年ぶりぐらいに私は会って

I met my mother for the first time in about 10 years.

10年ぶりだったんですね

It's been 10 years, hasn't it?

そう電話もしてない

I haven't even called.

メールもしてない

I haven't even sent an email.

LINEもしてない

I haven't even used LINE.

です

It is.

あまり

not much

じゃあ本当に久しぶりって感じですね

Well, it really feels like it's been a long time.

そうそうそう

That's right, that's right, that's right.

ちょっとこれ聞いた人

Just someone who heard this.

どんびきしたらすいません

I'm sorry if I startled you.

まあそんな感じなんです私

Well, that's how it is with me.

うーん

Hmm.

父ともまあ久々

It's been a while since I've seen my father.

まあ父はそのおばあちゃんの法事なんやらの用事とか

Well, my father has some obligations related to that grandmother's memorial service and so on.

まあなんかそういう

Well, something like that.

会わなきゃいけない部分では会ってたんだけど

We met in the parts where we had to meet, but...

久々にまあ会って

It's been a while since we've met.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

でも母と父とはね

But, you know, my mother and father...

かぶらないように会ったんだよね

We met so that we wouldn't overlap.

なんかこんなせきらめいたらびっくりされそうだけど

It seems like I would surprise people if I just gave up like this, but...

まあそれでも

Well, even so...

別々に会ったんだ

We met separately.

うん

Yeah.

そう言われては offended

I feel offended when you say that.

暑やな

It's hot, isn't it?

まあうん

Well, yeah.

うん

Yeah.

あかったんだけど

It was bright.

行く前ってさ正直

To be honest, before going...

私はビビってたのね

I was feeling scared.

え?どうなんだろう?

Huh? I wonder how that is?

どんな感じになるんだろう

I wonder what it will be like.

想像つかないし

I can't imagine it.

てか

Well,

どんな顔でしたっけ?とかいったら

What kind of face was it again?

あれだけど

It's that thing, though.

結構

That's fine.

のりん

Norin

大人が吹けるからさ

Because an adult can play it.

どこまで下りてんのかなとか

I wonder how far down it's going.

うまく話せるかな?とか

I wonder if I'll be able to speak well?

うん

Yeah.

ちょこちょここれも言ってるけど

I've been saying this occasionally, but...

私は家族に

I am with my family.

両親に会うっていう日が決まると

When the day to meet my parents is decided,

絶対に何回かうなされるから

You will definitely toss and turn a few times.

精神的に緊張はするんだけど

I'm mentally tense, but...

今回もビビってて

I'm scared again this time.

でも彼も一緒に行ったからね

But he went along with us too.

彼がいるから大丈夫って思って行ったら

I thought it was okay because he was there, but...

なんとね

Well, you know...

普通にみんな一応お話できたの

Everyone was able to talk normally, at least.

でも盛り上がったり

But it got exciting.

楽しいとかはないけど

It's not that it's fun, but...

私の両親結構短期で

My parents are quite short-tempered.

いつもカリカリイライラしてるんだけどね

I'm always feeling frustrated and irritated, you know.

全然どっちもイライラしてなかったの

Neither of us was irritated at all.

よかった

I'm glad.

なんかそれがね

Well, it seems that...

すごい良かったし

It was really good.

1個目の気づきが

The first realization is

なんといってもやっぱりね

After all, it's still...

彼の存在が大きいって思って

I think his presence is significant.

私と

With me

姉が本当に意見が話し

My sister really talks about her opinions.

ちょっととあることで話した時も

When we talked about a certain thing for a moment.

もう真逆でずっと平行線なので

It's completely opposite and has been a straight line all along.

私はこう思う

I think this way.

いや私はこう思うみたいな

Well, I think like this.

えなんでこう思う

"Why do you think this way?"

私はこうじゃないっていう

I say it's not like this.

喧嘩ではないんだけど

It's not a fight, but...

なんかオチがちょっと見えなくなっちゃった

It seems like the punchline has somewhat become unclear.

みたいな時があったんだけど

There was a time when it was like that.

これちょうど彼が合流して

This is just when he joins us.

ものの数分でことが片付いたりとか

It can all be settled in just a few minutes.

そうです

That's right.

すごいな

That's amazing!

なんかね中立になって冷静に

Somehow, I feel like being neutral and calm.

どっちの方を持つこともなく

Without holding either side.

なんか助言してくれたり

Like giving some advice or something.

意見を言ってくれるし

You express your opinions.

あと両親に会った時も

Also, when I met my parents.

彼見た通り結構

As he saw, it's quite...

なんですかね

I wonder what it is.

なんかニコニコ明るいから

It feels bright and cheerful somehow.

聞くのとか

Listening and such

あいつちがめちゃくちゃ上手だから

That guy is incredibly good.

家族って話したがり屋さんだからさ

Because my family loves to talk.

嬉しいんだろうね

I guess you're happy, huh?

すごいいろいろ聞いてくれて

Thank you for asking so many different things.

くれたりとか

Like giving or such.

父だったらやっぱうち娘しかいないから

If I were a father, I would only have my daughter.

息子じゃないけど

It's not my son, but...

そうなんすかなんとかなんすねって

Is that so? I wonder about that.

聞いてくれるのがやっぱ

I'm glad you listen to me after all.

父としても心地よかったり

It was also comfortable as a father.

母としてもまあパッと見比較的

As a mother, well, at first glance it's relatively...

好青年というか

Rather than saying a good young man...

いい旦那なんだってことが

That he is a good husband.

目に見てわかったから

Because I could see it.

なんかお祝いとかもあったんだよね

There was some kind of celebration, right?

これちょっと一般的な親御さん

This is a bit of a typical parent.

なんだろうねこれどこから言っていいかわかんないけど

I wonder what this is; I don't really know where to start.

あんま普通だったら

If it's just ordinary...

親が子に

From parent to child.

お祝いあげるのは普通だと思うんだけど

I think it's normal to give congratulations.

結構うちの家族的には

It's quite a family thing for us.

いいな

That's nice.

いいなって言ったらあれだけど

It might sound nice if I say so, but...

そうだよね

That's right.

10年前にってことは

That means it was 10 years ago.

結婚したことも

The fact that I got married.

あんまりその時には

Not much at that time.

あってないってことですもんね

It means we haven't met, right?

結婚1年目おめでとうって言われたけど

I was told "Happy first wedding anniversary," but...

今月で3年です

It has been 3 years this month.

なんか

Something.

別にお金

Not particularly money.

お金を欲しかったわけでも

It wasn't that I wanted money.

ないんだけど

I don't have it.

なんか

Somehow

どこまで言おうってなってるけど

I'm trying to figure out how much to say.

親がそうしてくれると

If my parents do that for me...

いつみりも思ってなかったから

I never thought it would come to this.

なんかお祝いしてくれるنا

It seems like you're celebrating something.

ありがたいな

I'm grateful.

びっくりって

"It's surprising!"

思った

I thought.

やっぱり

As I thought / After all

どんなことがあってもやっぱり

No matter what happens, after all...

子どもの

Child's

幸せを願ってるというか

It's more like I wish for happiness.

いつまでも可愛い子供なんだな

They're always such cute kids, aren't they?

っていう感じは

It feels like that.

しますね

I'll do it.

私はそうは思わなかったけど

I didn't think that way.

そうそう

That's right.

でもなんかもう彼ってすごいなって

But somehow, I think he's amazing.

改めて思ったし

I thought about it again.

みんなにやっぱね

I guess everyone...

いい人見つけたねとか

You found a good person, didn't you?

その後いとこに

After that, to my cousin.

行ったんだけど

I went, but...

いとこにも彼の写真を初めて見せたのに

I showed his picture to my cousin for the first time.

めっちゃいい人そうだねって言われて

I was told that I seem like a really nice person.

なんかね

You know...

彼ありがたい方に

He is a grateful person.

ほぼほぼ全員の人に

To almost everyone.

なんか笑顔が素敵で

Your smile is somehow wonderful.

いい人そうだねって言っていただくことが

It makes me happy to be told that I seem like a good person.

多くて

Many.

実際だってめっちゃいい人ですもんね

In reality, they are a really nice person, after all.

私はそう

I am that way.

異性としてすごい好き好きってよりも

Rather than being really fond of someone as the opposite sex,

人としてやっぱ尊敬してるし

I still respect you as a person.

だからなんかみんなが

So, everyone is somehow...

彼の家族大事にしないで

Don't take care of his family.

もう起きちゃうわ

I'm going to wake up now.

姉を

Sister

あきちゃんはもう

Aki-chan is already...

そこに絶対いなさいみたいな感じで

It's like a feeling of "You have to be there for sure."

誰もが安心するようなね

So that everyone can feel safe.

存在だよね

It exists, doesn't it?

彼には感謝だなっていうのが

I'm grateful to him.

一つ目です

This is the first one.

で二つ目が

And the second one is

私めちゃめちゃベイビー入りなんですよ

I'm really into babies!

何をすることにも

In everything you do.

できるかなとか

I wonder if I can do it.

どうしようって言って

What should I do?

すごい過剰に

Incredibly excessive.

プレッシャーを

Pressure.

感じたり

To feel or sense.

一歩出せない性格なのね

You have a personality that can't take a step forward.

なんかそういうことない

I don't think that's the case.

そういうことないって聞いて

I heard that it's not like that.

いやありますよ

No, there is.

ありますあります

Yes, there is.

怖くて

Scary.

ずっと考えちゃうって

I can't stop thinking about it.

寝れないとか

I can't sleep or something.

なんか不安に駆られてる時は

When you are overwhelmed by anxiety.

なんか一生考えてますね

It seems like you're thinking about it for a lifetime.

頭の中で

In my head.

ねあるよねそう

Yeah, that's right.

でもさ

But you know,

なんかさ意外となんとかなるって

Somehow, it surprisingly works out.

ことない

never mind / not at all

確かになんか過ぎ去ってみて

Certainly, it feels like something has passed by.

後から振り返れば

Looking back later

なんかそんななんてことないことだったかも

It might have been something trivial like that.

とか意外とちゃんとできたな

I surprisingly managed to do it properly.

とか

"and so on" or "etc."

なんかありますねそういうこと

There’s something like that, isn’t there?

あんなに怖がってた

I was so scared.

怖がらなくてもよかったやみたいな

"I shouldn't have been scared."

うんうんうん

Hmm, hmm, hmm.

まさに今

Right now.

ゆみこちゃんが言った通りで

Just as Yumiko-chan said.

なんか家族に会うのにも

It's like even meeting family...

私はすごいいつもビビるし

I'm always really scared.

結構

That's fine.

うんうんうん

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

プレッシャーとか

Pressure and so on.

いろんなこと考えちゃうんだけど

I end up thinking about all sorts of things.

やっぱり会ってみると

After all, when we meet in person...

すごいうまくいったというか

It went really well, or rather.

うん

Yeah.

まあありがたいことに

Well, thankfully.

お祝いをいただいたりとか

Receiving congratulations and such.

うん

Yeah.

あとはいとこに会うのも

Also, meeting my cousin.

それはまた10年ぶりとか

It has been about 10 years again, huh?

ちょっと私が

A little bit of me

ビッグゼロセットやるのが

I'm going to do a big zero set.

諸バレなんだけど

It's a bit of a spoiler, but...

そう

Yes.

会った時に

When we met

やっぱ私はもう

I guess I've had enough.

ビビってたんだよね

I was scared, you know.

で緊張もしてたし

I was also nervous.

そしたら第一点に

Then, for the first point,

私は

I am

結構お久しぶりです

It's been a while.

みたいな

結構他人行儀というか

It's quite formal, or rather, distant in a way.

うんうんうん

Hmm hmm hmm.

なんかいとこが

"Something about my cousin."

えなんかまきちゃんと私

Well, it's like Maki-chan and I...

そういう仲じゃないじゃん

We're not at that kind of relationship, are we?

タメ語で喋ってよって言ってくれて

Thank you for telling me to speak casually.

へー

Oh really?

おーと思って

I thought, "Oh."

なんか本当にそんな

It's really kind of like that.

本当いつぶりか分かんないぐらいなんだけど

I don't even know how long it's been, but...

すごくフランクに対して言ってくれて

You've said it very frankly.

うん

Yeah.

私もその後やっぱ

I guess I ended up doing that too.

結構まあ年もね

Well, I guess it's that age, isn't it?

10個ぐらい上だから

It's about 10 or so above.

結構

Quite a bit.

俺は喋ってたんだけど

I was talking.

まあいろんなお話をしてくれたり

Well, you share various stories with me.

なんだかんだ一緒にランチを食べて

We ended up having lunch together, after all.

なんだかんだ

One way or another.

本当に夕方ぐらいまで行ったのかな

Did we really go until around the evening?

結構長い

Pretty long.

お姉ちゃん家族含むみんなで行って

Let's go with everyone, including my sister's family.

うんうんうん

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

なんか普通に

Just something normal.

最後の方は気を使わず

In the end, don't hesitate to be considerate.

割とお話できて

We were able to talk quite a bit.

うん

Yeah.

でもなんかありがたいことね

But it's somehow grateful, isn't it?

そちらでもなんかお祝いをいただいて

You received some kind of celebration over there, too.

あー

Ah-

そうで今回

So this time

嬉しいなって思って

I feel happy.

もう一人のいとこも

Another cousin as well.

なんか一緒にお祝いくれて

It feels like you celebrated together with me.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

なんか私手土産一応持ってったのに

I brought a small gift just in case, but...

なんかそれ以上にしてもらっちゃったから

I ended up getting more than that.

うん

Yeah.

なんかそうやって行動したら

If you act that way...

なんだろうね

I wonder what it is.

道は開けるというか

I guess the road will open up.

うまく肯定するんだのって

It's about affirming smoothly.

すごい思って

I think it's amazing.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

なんか人間関係も

Somehow, relationships between people too.

もう本当に行動しないと

I really have to take action now.

何も変わらないけど

Nothing will change, but...

行動したことによって

By taking action

ちょっと広がったりとか

It spreads out a little or something like that.

今後連絡取りやすくなったりしたし

It has become easier to get in touch from now on.

うん

Yeah.

最近結構大きな出費が

I recently had quite a large expense.

発覚して

Revealed.

マジかって思って

I thought, "Seriously?"

なんか面白いことに

There's something interesting about it.

大きな出費が明確になったときに

When a large expense becomes clear.

大きな

Big

大きなでもないけど

It's not that big, but...

ちょっとした臨時収入とか

A little extra income or something.

いいことがね

Something good, you know?

2個3個ついてて

Having two or three attached.

うん

Yeah.

なんか面白くできてるなーって

It’s done in a way that’s somehow interesting.

思った

I thought.

確かに

Certainly.

人生

Life

なんかそういう

Something like that.

うまくからくりになっているのかもしれない

It might be skillfully constructed like a mechanism.

そうそう

That's right.

なんか自分が

I feel like I am somehow...

できないできないと思ってみても

Even if I think that I can't do it,

やっぱ行動ってすごい大事だし

Action is really important after all.

うん

Yeah.

彼を大絶賛してるのもそうだけど

It's not just that I highly praise him, but...

彼以外にも

Besides him.

自分一人でできないってことは

It means that you can't do it alone.

なんか周りを

Something around me.

素直に頼ったり

Honestly relying on someone.

お願いってすごい大事だなって思ってて

I think requests are really important.

うんうんうん

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

そういう確認も

Such confirmation as well.

いると思うんだけど

I think there is.

なんか私が

I feel like I...

その何かが成功とか

That something is success or something like that.

何度もする

I will do it many times.

ためには

"For the sake of"

絶対に私は周りの協力が

I absolutely need the cooperation of those around me.

めちゃくちゃ必要で

Absolutely necessary

うん

Yeah.

自分一人で

By myself.

成し遂げたことがないぐらい

To the extent that I have never accomplished anything.

本当に周りが

The surroundings are really...

助けてくれたり

Help me, please.

応援してくれたりがあってこそ

It's thanks to your support.

だから

So.

なんか一人でやろうとせず

"Don't try to do it all by yourself."

周りを頼ろうって改めて

Let's rely on those around us once again.

思うんだけど

I think so.

思いました

I thought.

本当になんか

Really something.

一つの成功の陰には

Behind every success

本当にいろんな人の

Really, a lot of people.

応援とか支えがあって

With support and encouragement.

こそですよね

That's exactly it.

一人で生きていける人なんて

Someone who can live alone.

一人もいないから

Because there is not a single person.

本当にすごいそう思います

I really think it's amazing.

そう

Yes.

なんかね

You know...

イメージだと霧が

It looks like fog.

ふわーって

Fluffy

抜けてすごい青空になった

The sky turned a brilliant blue after clearing up.

というか

I mean, or rather.

よかったですね

That's great, isn't it?

本当に

Really.

なんかね

You know...

いい方向というか

In a good direction, or rather...

いい感じになったりして

It's starting to feel good.

今後私が

From now on, I will...

自分自身

Yourself

よみこちゃんもそうだと思うけど

I think you feel the same way, Yomiko-chan.

我々って夢とかやりたいこと

We have dreams and things we want to do.

尽きないじゃないですか

Isn't it endless?

うん

Yeah.

なんか一個進んだことによって

By making some progress in one thing,

またやりたいこととか夢に近づいたのかな

I wonder if I've gotten closer to doing what I want or to my dreams.

って

"That means..."

ちょっと

Just a moment.

いやーすごい

Wow, that's amazing!

こう

Like this

本当に

Really

なんていうんだろう

I wonder what to call it.

濃い1ヶ月でしたね

It was a deep month, wasn't it?

そう結構そうだね1ヶ月

Yeah, that's about right, one month.

1ヶ月ちょうど経つかな

It's been exactly one month, I think.

そろそろ

It's about time.

いやーありがとうございました

Well, thank you very much!

いやなんかね

Well, it's just that...

この話を聞いて

Hearing this story

なんか

Somehow.

勇気をもらう人も多いのかなって思います

I think there are many people who gain courage from it.

ねえ

Hey

どこまでちょっと

How far is "a little"?

セキュララすぎてちょっとカットしてもらおうかな

It's so secure that I might ask for a little trimming.

大丈夫かな

I wonder if it's okay.

うんうんうん

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

よみこちゃんは最近どうですか

How has Yoshiko-chan been lately?

なんかちょっと私ばっか喋っちゃったけど

I feel like I've been talking a lot by myself, though.

辛いこととか大変なことあったり

There have been painful and difficult things.

なんか乗り越えたとか

It feels like I've overcome something.

その時の心境とかあります?

Do you have any thoughts or feelings from that time?

うーん

Hmm.

まあなんか

Well, somehow

辛くて泣くとかそういうのはないんですけど

It's not that I'm crying because it's painful or anything like that.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

まあなんか分かってはいたけど

Well, I kind of understood it.

結構

Pretty good.

地味に答えるなって思うのは

I think it's best not to answer in a plain manner.

例えば留学とかワーキングホリデーとか

For example, studying abroad or a working holiday.

こう自分の母国語じゃない国に長くいた人は

Someone who has lived for a long time in a country that is not their native language.

きっとみんな感じてると思うけど

I'm sure everyone feels it too.

自分の語学力が足らないことに対しての劣等感

A sense of inferiority regarding my lack of language skills.

うーん

Hmm.

やっぱり感じてますね

I knew you could feel it after all.

っていうのも

The reason is that...

ある程度日本でも

To some extent in Japan as well.

訓練してたし

I was training.

こうインドネシア来てからも2週間

It's been two weeks since I came to Indonesia.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

あの語学訓練してたけど

I was training in that language.

やっぱりネイティブには到底なれない

I still can't become a native speaker after all.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

まあ日常会話の簡単なレベルまでしかできない

Well, I can only manage simple everyday conversation level.

っていう感じなんですけど

It's that kind of feeling, but...

まあいざこっちに来てみたら

Well, when I actually came here...

まあなんて言うんでしょうね

Well, how should I put it?

大阪弁みたいな感じ

It has a feeling like Osaka dialect.

なんか東京で学んだのに

I learned something in Tokyo, but...

大阪に行ったらなんか

When I went to Osaka, something...

あれ?みたいな

Huh? Something like that.

うん

Yeah.

I don't know

わかりません。

方言がめっちゃ強いみたいな

It seems like the dialect is really strong.

で

So, then.

言葉自体が変わったりとか

The words themselves have changed, or something like that.

語尾が変わったりとか

Like changing the ending...

本当にそういう感じで

It really feels that way.

なんか今まで知ってる言葉が

It seems like the words I know so far...

わからない言葉になっちゃう怖さ

The fear of becoming words that can’t be understood.

新しく覚えなくちゃいけないなっていう感じなんですけど

I feel like I have to learn something new.

あれ?みたいな

Huh? Something like that.

なんか混乱したりだとか

It gets a bit confusing or something.

まあ

Well...

まあそうですね

Well, yes.

まあ

Well...

今それを

Now that.

これを乗り越えてるというか

It's more like overcoming this.

最初の1日目は結構嵐のように話しかけられて

On the first day, I was talked to quite a lot, like a storm.

本気で意味が分かんなくて

I honestly don't understand the meaning.

もう全然帰ったらもう即バタンって寝ちゃうぐらい疲れたんですけど

I'm so tired that as soon as I get home, I'll just crash and sleep immediately.

なんかその日で周りの人も私の語学力がどのレベルかを掴んでくれて

Somehow, on that day, the people around me got a grasp of what level my language skills are at.

簡単な言葉で話してくれたりとか

Could you speak in simple words?

上手い具合にフォローを入れてくれるようになってからは

Since you've been able to follow up nicely,

大丈夫なんですけど

It's alright, though.

やっぱり最初はできない自分ダメだって思ったけど

I thought to myself that I was no good because I couldn’t do it at first, after all.

でもそれってできなくて当たり前じゃんって思ったんですよ

But I thought it was only natural that it couldn't be done.

できなくて当たり前だし

It's only natural that I can't do it.

じゃあできないって言ってシャットダウンするんじゃなくて

So instead of saying you can't do it and shutting down,

じゃあ

Well then

一つずつ覚え直そうみたいな

Let's try to relearn them one by one.

マインドセットにしてからは

Since adopting the mindset

そんなに嫌じゃない

It's not that terrible.

それってどういう意味みたいな感じで結構突っ込んで聞いて

Could you clarify what you mean by that?

面白いんですよね

It's interesting, isn't it?

最初に言われた言葉が分かんないからどういう意味って聞いたら

When I asked what it meant because I didn't understand the words that were said to me first,

インドネシア語の標準語で言ってきて

Say it in standard Indonesian.

その言葉も分かんなかったらさらに英語で通訳してくれて

If you don't understand that word, please interpret it in English further.

英語でも分かんなかったら

If you don't understand it in English either,

Googleで言ってくれて

Say it on Google.

Googleトランスレートに行くっていうのが4段階ぐらいあって

There are about four stages of going to Google Translate.

いや素晴らしい

No, it's wonderful.

でもそれ一番怖いのやつだよね

But that's the scariest one, right?

でもなんかその

But somehow, that...

正直それは会話を止めてるわけだから

Honestly, that's stopping the conversation.

多分もどかしいと思うんですよ相手は

I think the other person might feel frustrated.

でもありがたいことにそれに付き合ってくれるから

But I'm grateful that they are willing to go along with it.

それの優しさにちょっと甘えて

I’m just slightly leaning on its kindness.

今はちょっとおしゃべりをしながら

Right now, let's chat a little.

この国のことを

About this country.

国とか人のことを知りながら

While knowing about countries and people

勉強してるっていう感じ

It feels like I'm studying.

素晴らしい

Wonderful

なんかね

You know...

みんなが言ってた留学の時の辛いやつってこれかーみたいなのが

Is this what everyone was talking about when they mentioned the tough times during studying abroad?

やっとなんか体にちゃんと実感としてやってきたっていう感じで

It finally feels like something has properly settled in my body.

まあなんか

Well, something...

そうですね

That's right.

まあなんか

Well, somehow...

そんな感じっていうのと

That's the kind of feeling.

あと一つなんか

Just one more thing.

最近あーって学んだことがあって

Recently, I've learned something.

ねえ何

Hey, what?

何学んだの

What did you learn?

なんて言うんだろうな

I wonder what I should say.

この

This

自分がジョークのつもりで言った

I meant it as a joke.

ことが

thing is

なんて言うんだろうな

I wonder what to say.

やっぱ受け取り側のことはコントロールできないじゃないですか

You can't control what the recipient thinks, after all.

難しいね

It's difficult, isn't it?

だから受け取り側が

So the recipient...

なんかそのものすごく傷ついちゃったみたいな

It seems like something was really hurt.

そうなんだ

Is that so?

で怒る

Get angry.

なんていうのが

What do you call it?

でも怒りをぶつけてきた

But they lashed out in anger.

その多分怒りのその中には悲しみがあるんだけど

Within that anger, there is probably sadness.

まあ最初の一時感情として怒りをぶつけてきて

Well, at first, they expressed their anger as an immediate emotion.

こっちは何で怒ってるか分かんないみたいな

It seems like you don't understand why I'm angry.

その悪いことしたってつもりがないから

Because I don't feel like I've done anything wrong.

そうそう

That's right.

なんかそういう状況ってやっぱりそのなんていうんだろうな

I wonder what to call a situation like that.

語学が伝わらなければ伝わらないほど

The more language doesn't get through, the less it gets conveyed.

なんか怒りうる状況だと思うんですね

I think it's a situation that can make you angry.

日本人同士でも怒るのに

Even among Japanese people, it's easy to get angry.

でなんかそういう時はなんていうんだろうな

Well, I wonder what you would call that kind of situation.

その自分の意見とか

Your own opinions, etc.

そういうのをじゃあ変えるって

Then let's change that kind of thing.

別にそれはそこまではしなくていいけど

You don't have to go that far, though.

なんていうんだろうな

I wonder what you'd call it.

自分はそういうつもりで言ってなかったみたいな

I didn't mean it that way.

でもあなたが傷ついてしまって

But you got hurt.

悲しい思いをさせたんだったら本当にごめんねって

If I made you feel sad, I'm really sorry.

もうそれは言わないようにするとか

Let's try not to say that anymore.

うんうんうん

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

なんていうんだろうな

I wonder what I should say.

自分の意見をすごいぐにゃぐにゃに変える必要はないけど

There's no need to twist my opinion all out of shape, but...

相手の気持ちを一番に尊重して

Respect the other person's feelings above all else.

謝ったりとか敬意を見せるっていうことが

Apologizing and showing respect is...

ものすごい生きる上でも大事なことだなっていう風に

I think it's incredibly important for living.

なんか最近感じることがありまして

I've been feeling something recently.

いやーすごい

Wow, that's amazing!

そうですねやっぱりなんかこう

Well, I guess it's kind of like...

今は多分感じることが

"Maybe I can feel it now."

ものすごい多い

Incredibly many.

なんか文化の違いにいっぱい触れてて

I'm experiencing a lot of cultural differences.

今が一番多分いろんなことを感じてるんですけど

Right now, I’m probably feeling a lot of different things.

まあいいことも悪いことも

Well, there are both good things and bad things.

なんか

Something.

うんそうですね

Yeah, that's right.

いいことも悪いこともなんかある意味こういうポッドキャストとか

There are good things and bad things, and in a way, podcasts like this exist.

インスタグラムとかそういうとこで

On places like Instagram and such.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

まあシェアしながら

Well, while sharing.

まあそうですね

Well, that's true.

それが自分の感情整理になってるっていうところもあります

That also helps me整理 my emotions.

なるほどね

I see.

うん

Yeah.

,そう言語はさあコミュニケーションツールの一つだから

Well, language is one of the tools for communication.

完璧じゃなくてもいいっていう言葉に私は救われたりもしたけど

The words "it's okay not to be perfect" have saved me at times.

やっぱり言葉のニュアンスってすごく難しいし

The nuances of words are really difficult, after all.

うん

Yeah.

なんか私がカナダでちょっと働いてた時は

When I was working a little in Canada,

なんかアパレルの裏方をやってたんだけど

I was working behind the scenes in apparel.

アジア人日本人もいないしアジア人もいなかったから

There were no Japanese people or Asians at all.

うん

Yeah.

でお客さんもいないし

And there are no customers, either.

お客さんはさあ知ってる程度めっちゃバーって聞かれてベージュのパンツどこ?みたいな言われたんだけど

The customer was asking, "Where are the beige pants?" as if they already knew a lot about it.

うんうんうん

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

やっぱり私はすごく日本人だしアパレルしてたから丁寧に答えてあげたかったんだけど全然うまく言えなくて

I really am very Japanese, and since I've worked in apparel, I wanted to respond politely, but I just couldn't express it well at all.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

もういいよバイバイみたいに言っちゃったのね

You acted like it was all okay, saying something like "That's enough, goodbye."

うんうんうん

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

私としてはやってしまったって思ったけど

I thought to myself that I had done it.

なんか海外の感覚だったのはそれはそれでいいんじゃないみたいな感じだったんだけど

It felt like an overseas sense, and I think that's okay in its own way.

うんうんうん

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

でもなんかその時言ってもらったのが

But what you said at that time was somehow...

えーでもどうしたの全然大丈夫だよみたいな言ってくれてて

"Eh, but what happened? It's totally okay, you said something like that."

うんうん

Uh-huh.

3,4人集合してハグしてくれてみんな

Three or four people gathered and hugged everyone.

あはは優しい

Ahaha, you're kind!

優しいなんかまきこはなんか頑張ってるじゃんみたいな

It's like, "Mikiko is doing her best in a gentle way or something."

私なんて日本語一個もわからないのに

I don't understand any Japanese at all.

まきこ英語をいっぱい頑張ってるから素晴らしいよみたいな褒めてくれて

Makiko is working really hard on her English, so it's wonderful; please praise her.

うんうんうん

Mm mm mm.

だからなんか

So, somehow...

あそういう環境に行ったらいいなって思ってたんだけど

I was thinking it would be nice to go to that kind of environment.

本当に感謝しなきゃなーって思ったし

I really felt like I had to be grateful.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

めこちゃんが言ったように自分の言葉一つでさ

As Meko-chan said, just with one of your own words...

まあ日本語も日本語同士もそうだけど

Well, it's the same with Japanese and among Japanese people as well.

傷つけるとかってね

Like hurting someone, you know?

うんうん

Uh-huh.

ってものすごく難しい部分だからさ

Because it's an incredibly difficult part, you know.

それはね違う言語のまして英語とかじゃなく身近な言語でやってるめこちゃんは本当に大変だと思うしすごいと思う

I think it's really tough and amazing for Meko-chan, especially since she's doing it in a familiar language rather than a different language like English.

いやいやいやいや

No, no, no, no.

まあなんか人間同士だからなんか波長もあるし相性もあるし

Well, since we are both human, there are certain wavelengths and compatibility between us.

まあなんかましてやその触れてはいけない話題は何なのかって国によっても違うし

Well, what topics are considered off-limits can vary from country to country.

まあ人によってももしかしたらトラウマを抱えてる話題だったら

Well, it might be a topic that some people have trauma about.

ものすごいそんなつもりがなくてもすごい

Even if you didn't mean to, it's amazing.

なんだろ牙抜いたような態度をされる時も

I wonder what it is when I'm treated like I've had my fangs pulled out.

あるけどなんかやっぱコミュニケーションというか

I have it, but somehow it still feels like communication or something.

なんで怒らせてしまったのかとか

Why did I end up making you angry?

うんうん

Uh-huh.

まあそんなことはないし

Well, that's not the case.

そんなことそういうつもりはなかった

I didn't mean that at all.

でもあなたは傷ついたなら

But if you are hurt

まあ自分はもう二度としませんみたいな態度を示したりとか

Well, it's like showing an attitude of "I will never do it again."

やっぱりコミュニケーションですね

As expected, it's all about communication.

うん

Yeah.

しなんかその分経験もだし優しくなれるよね

It also means that you gain experience and can become kinder, right?

そうそうそう

That's right, that's right.

すっごいそう思いましたね

I thought that was really amazing.

なんか

Something.

愛しいけどさゆみこちゃんは

I love you, but Sayumiko-chan is...

うん

Yeah.

なんか他人の常識

Some kind of other people's common sense.

自分の常識を他人に

Imposing one's own common sense on others.

うん

Yeah.

押しつける

to press, to push, to impose

うん

Yeah.

これって気づかないうちに結構やりがち

This is something you can easily do without realizing it.

うんうんうん

Uh-huh.

気づいたりとか

Noticing things, or something like that.

てか逆に

Actually, on the contrary.

はっみたいななんか

It's like, "Huh?" or "What?"

多分この人押しつけてるつもりないんだろうけど

Maybe this person doesn't intend to be intrusive.

私はこれに対して

As for this, I...

押しつけられたって感じたなとか

I felt like I was being forced.

うんうん

Uh-huh.

まあ逆に言えばなんかその

Well, conversely speaking, it's something like...

つぶやきでも言いましたけど

I mentioned it in a tweet, but...

喋ってるだけで

Just talking.

何やってんだろうって私は正直

I honestly wonder what I'm doing.

思いましたけど

I thought so, but...

多分この人たちにとって喋るっていうのは

Perhaps for these people, speaking is...

会議と同じくらい大事なことで

As important as the meeting.

うんうんうん

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

その人たちにとっての

For those people.

大事な仕事のうちの

Among important tasks.

80%を占めるかもしれない

It may account for 80%.

その身近な会話が

That familiar conversation

信頼関係が

Trust relationship.

でもそれを私は何もやってないに

But I haven't done anything about it.

カテゴリーされてるんだな

It seems like it's categorized.

とか

"and so on" or "etc."

いろんなことに

In various things.

気づくたびに

Every time I notice.

まあでも

Well, but...

自分の中で

Within myself

自分はここに来たんだから

I came here myself.

この文化に

In this culture

馴染む必要があるから

Because it needs to become familiar.

いちいちその

One by one, that.

自分の常識をまっすぐこう

Straighten your own common sense.

芯を持ちすぎてると

If you have too much core strength...

辛いのは自分だから

Because it’s tough for me.

そういうところに気づいて

Noticing things like that.

まあ適宜

Well, as appropriate.

まあそうやって考えてもしょうがないから

Well, there's no point in thinking about it that way.

私も昼寝しちゃおうぐらいな感じで

I’m thinking of taking a nap too.

うんうんうん

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ぬるく生きてます

I'm living a lukewarm life.

今のところ

For now.

いやー

Nah.

私たち意外と頑張ってますね

We are surprisingly doing our best, aren't we?

もうたまには私頑張ってるって言って

Sometimes, please just say that I'm doing my best.

自分自身にね

To myself.

ハグすることもすごい大事ですね

Hugging is really important too.

大事大事

Very important, very important.

まずは自分に優しく

First, be kind to yourself.

最大限自分に優しくして

Be as kind to yourself as possible.

周りの人だからね

Because they are the people around me.

そうそうそう

That's right, that's right, that's right.

自分ファーストでいきましょう

Let's prioritize ourselves.

優しくいきましょう

Let's take it easy.

ちょっと今日は

Just a little today.

深い回になったような気がしますが

I feel like it has become a deep discussion.

そうですよ

That's right.

なんか聞いて

"Can I ask you something?"

思ったこととか

Thoughts and feelings.

私にどんびきしたら

If you were to be taken aback by me.

まあそれはそれでいいんですけど

Well, that's fine in its own way.

いやいやいやいや

No, no, no, no.

聞いております

I am listening.

何かご感想とか

Do you have any thoughts or impressions?

ご意見があったら

If you have any comments.

いつでも

Anytime

お待ちしております

We are looking forward to it.

そうですね

That's right.

あとなんかほんと強いて言えば

Well, if I had to say something else...

私はその家族とかの経験を生かして

I will utilize my experiences with that family and others.

こそ今の仕事に

"That is why I am in this job now."

つながってるので

Because we are connected.

うん

Yeah.

なんか友達とか家族に言えないことも

There are things that I can't tell my friends or family.

周りの人にたくさん聞いてもらって

I got a lot of people around me to listen.

なんか今私成り立ってるので

I'm kind of managing it right now.

カラーセラピーを通して

Through color therapy

本当にこれから出会う

"I will truly meet you from now on."

新しい人の役に立てたらいいなって

I hope I can be of help to new people.

思います

I think.

今週はこの辺で

Let's leave it here for this week.

もしもこのエピソードが

If this episode is

面白いと思ったら

If you think it's interesting.

ファイブスターレビュー

Five star review

ぜひぜひお願いします

Sure, please go ahead!

私たちインスタグラムもしています

We also use Instagram.

ミッドナイトガールズトーク

Midnight Girls' Talk

アンダーバーオフィシャルでやっております

I am doing it on the Underbar Official.

エピソードで話したことの内容を

The content of what was discussed in the episode.

目からも分かるような写真や

Photos that are easily recognizable just by looking at them.

もっと知ってほしい情報など

Information that I want you to know more about.

投稿しています

I am posting.

ぜひそちらもフォロー

Please be sure to follow there as well.

Sounds good!

コメントお待ちしております

I look forward to your comments.

はい

Yes

合言葉はポレポレ

The password is Pole Pole.

今週も7割でゆったりいきましょう

Let's take it easy at 70% this week as well.

ではでは

Well then.

またねー

See you later!

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